A White Today, and a White Tomorrow: How James Got His Mojo Back 
How James Got His Mojo Back
by Cori Falls
@->->- 
Fortune is a strange thing...perhaps one of the most unpredictable forces known 
to humanity. One minute you can be riding high, but it can all come crashing 
down the next. And as far as anybody knows, there's no way to master or control 
the awesome and enigmatic force known as fortune. 
I guess that explains the old saying, It's better to be lucky than good. Because 
no matter how skilled one is at something, it just doesn't seem to matter if 
fortune never favors them. And at the same time, no matter how inept one may be, 
they can always win if fortune smiles upon them. (Hmmm...sounds a lot like what 
my friends and I go through with that twerp, Ash. I swear, no matter how 
flawless our plans are, there always seems to be some strange twist of fate that 
ensures that dumb kid's victory!) 
Some people believe that while fortune can't be controlled, it can be predicted. 
And some even believe that their entire lives can be mapped out and planned by 
such predictions. If you'd asked me at the beginning of the week if I believe in 
that kind of thing, I probably would've laughed. I wouldn't laugh now, though. 
Don't get me wrong, I still think it's absurd for people to release all personal 
resolve and let fortune control their lives. I still believe wholeheartedly that 
hard work, skill, and determination will always prevail in the end. But 
something happened to me yesterday that made me start thinking that maybe...just 
maybe...there might be something to be said for fortune, after all.... 
@->->- 
It all began that morning, when Meowth found some kind of fortune telling book. 
Jessie was really excited by his discovery, saying that she'd heard all about 
the books and that she'd been meaning to shoplift one, but I didn't share her 
enthusiasm. Astrology is fun, but I've never put much stock in it, myself. I 
just don't understand how the stars or time of birth can control a person's life 
-- I've always been a firm believer in people making their own destinies. 
I was only further convinced that the fortune telling book was just a hoax when 
it said that Jessie's sign was Eevee. Don't get me wrong, Eevee is a nice 
pokemon, and Jess is a sweetie, but she's just never struck me as an Eevee-type 
personality. A Flareon, maybe, but certainly not an Eevee. While she wasn't 
listening, I'd jokingly told Meowth that "Eevil" would be a better description, 
but in reality I think her original prediction, that she'd be an elegant 
Ninetales, would have been much more accurate. It seemed to me that if there 
were anything to this fortune telling, Jess would be some kind of fire-type. She 
does have a fiery temper and a passionate personality, after all. (Not to 
mention the elegant beauty of a Ninetales!) 
But then, something strange happened.... 
When Jessie finished reading her horoscope, she'd offered to read mine as well. 
I wasn't really interested in anything that book had to say, but since she was 
having so much fun, I decided to humor her. And as it turned out, the book said 
that my sign was Moltres! Jessie began to blush and looked at me in awe, 
obviously impressed with my sign (and I must admit, Moltres is a pretty damned 
impressive sign), but I still didn't think there was anything to it. Meowth even 
laughed and said that there wasn't anything Moltres-ey about me. 
As Jessie proceeded to read my horoscope, however, I found my curiosity piqued. 
According to the book, no matter what difficulties befall them, the Moltres-type 
will always prevail and soar high above all others, just like the legendary 
fire-bird itself! My daily horoscope also said that I'd have good luck with 
money and find something that I thought was lost. 
I did my best to laugh it off, still thinking it was a ridiculous notion that a 
pokemon sign could hold so much sway over my destiny. But then I proceeded to 
find an extremely rare and valuable 1867 silver dollar just lying on the 
ground...and then I found a bottle cap that I thought had disappeared from my 
collection stuck inside of my boot! Well, that was certainly good luck with 
money and finding something that I thought was lost, but I still didn't want to 
believe that one little book could predict my life. Finding the coin and the 
bottle cap were mere coincidences! Coincidences and nothing more! 
Are they really coincidences? I asked myself. Or is there something to this 
fortune telling, after all? 
Thinking that the heat was probably getting to me and that all I needed was a 
cool drink to clear my mind, I headed for the water fountain. As I did this, 
Jessie looked at the book again and warned me that my horoscope predicted danger 
near water today. 
That was all it took to reassure me that the book was wrong -- the city we were 
in was several miles inland, and there weren't any lakes or rivers nearby 
either! How could I be in danger around water if there wasn't a body of water to 
begin with? 
"That's ridiculous!" I told her as I pushed the button on the water fountain and 
leaned down to get a drink. "We're nowhere near the water...." 
*SPLOOSH!* 
Quickly, I released the button and jumped away from the water fountain. The 
water pressure was up too high, and I'd gotten completely soaked! 
That was when the realization struck me. 
Danger had just befallen me near water! All three of the book's predictions for 
my day had come true! I could deny it no longer -- I was a Moltres! 
Now everything seemed so clear to me! I've faced so many adversities during my 
life...so many humiliations and defeats! And yet, through it all, I've always 
managed to land on my feet and gain some kind of personal victory. The abuse I'd 
suffered at the hands of my parents and Jessiebelle and the death of my 
grand-papa had been almost more than I could bear...but at the same time, it had 
been those hardships that had driven me away from home and led me to find 
Jessie! Joining Team Rocket had been a difficult and painful choice for me to 
make as well...but being able to stay with Jessie and becoming friends with 
Meowth had made it all worthwhile! And every electrocution and blast-off 
suffered at the hands of the twerps always seems to bring me and my friends 
closer together, too! (I remember, last summer I had a dream where I saw my 
grand-papa, and he even told me that no matter how difficult things may be for 
me and my friends now, it would all have its reward someday soon. He'd told me 
that a white tomorrow was waiting for us!) 
So there's a reason for all the pain I suffer -- none of it is in vain because 
it always leads me to a greater reward! I said to myself as I climbed to the top 
of a lamp post and surveyed the world below...a world brimming with 
opportunities and endless possibilities. Just like the mighty Moltres, I have 
the power to prevail no matter what difficulties befall me and soar to new 
heights! This is my destiny! I cannot be denied! 
And that was when something else strange happened -- I went mad with power. 
Now that I knew I could never truly be defeated, I decided it was time to take a 
chance -- I had to do something great to show the world that James the Moltres 
was here...and that he meant business! 
And what better way to do that than capturing lots of pokemon? 
When I got down from the lamp post, I informed Jessie and Meowth that I was the 
new supreme ruler of Team Rocket and that they had to obey and revere me. Under 
the command of James the Moltres, we were going to capture all of the pokemon in 
the city...maybe even the world! 
"I saw a day care center not too far from here," I told them. "We shall go there 
with haste, and I shall lead you in pillaging and plundering its pokemon! Your 
Moltres master will lead you to victory!" With that, I started heading up the 
street. 
Jessie and Meowth didn't look too thrilled that I'd usurped control of the team 
and that I was ordering them around, but they followed me without protest. Who 
could resist the power and charisma of the mighty Moltres, after all? And even 
though I could tell that Jessie was kind of annoyed with me, I wasn't worried. I 
knew that I'd be making it worth her while later. 
The fair damsel will be singing a different song when James the Moltres lights 
her fire tonight! I said to myself as I formed a mental image of the passion and 
romance I had in store for her. 
I could hardly wait! 
@->->- 
Our quest soon brought us to the local day care center. It did, indeed, look 
like the perfect place to strike...to demonstrate my amazing Moltres powers! 
Meowth suggested that we sneak in the back way, but I'd have no part of that! 
"Out of the question!" I scoffed. "Sneaking and skulking is no way for James the 
Moltres to engage in battle! Rather, we shall hold our heads high as we march 
through the portcullis and face our enemies head-on! Make way!" 
However, to say that I was disappointed by what I found when I walked through 
the door would be an understatement -- our "enemies" were nothing more than an 
old man and woman! I'd been hoping for a more formidable foe, but Moltres that I 
am, I didn't let it get me down for long. 
Perhaps starting small is the best way to begin my campaign, I reasoned. There's 
no need to use force against these people -- a simple threat will be all it 
takes to make them surrender! And perhaps when they surrender, others will see 
my might and surrender as well! And as more surrender, the more power I'll gain! 
Greater challenges do, indeed, lie ahead, but this shall do for a start! 
As the old couple looked up from their work, I stood tall and smirked. "The 
Moltres is here!" I informed them. 
The two of them gave me a confused look. They obviously didn't know who I was 
and that this was the part where they were supposed to surrender and submit to 
my will. 
When I repeated that James the Moltres had arrived and commanded them to hand 
over all of their pokemon, however, they refused. And they even looked as if 
they were amused by my presence! 
Well, that did it. Nobody laughs at James the Moltres! It was time to show these 
simpletons that I was nobody to be trifled with! 
But as I charged towards them, the old woman grabbed me by the collar of my 
jacket and started shaking me about. I had greatly underestimated the enemy. 
Behind me, I could hear Jessie shouting, "HEY!!! LET GO OF HIM!!!" Then, I was 
thrown across the room and slammed into the wall. 
When I opened my eyes again, I could see the old man grabbing Jessie and 
throwing her across the room too, and I felt myself becoming every bit as 
enraged as she'd been! Nobody hurts James the Moltres's woman and gets away with 
it! Vengeance would be mine! 
"How dare you treat James the Moltres in such a manner?!" I shouted. "Where did 
you get the audacity, and where did you get the muscles?!" 
The old couple laughed at us. "You obviously don't remember who we are, so let 
us refresh your memory....Prepare for trouble, and make it double!" 
Uh, oh. I could see where this was leading. 
"To infect the world with devastation!" the old woman cried. 
"To blight all peoples in every nation!" the old man said in a hideous, 
toad-like voice. 
"To denounce the goodness of truth and love!" 
"To extend our wrath to the stars above!" 
"Cassidy!" With that, the old woman tore off her disguise and revealed her true 
identity. 
"Butch!" the old man croaked, doing the same. 
"We're Team Rocket, circling the earth all day and night!" 
"Surrender to us now, or you will surely lose the fight!" 
"That's right!" 
"Raticate!!!" 
When the two of them finished that stupid mockery of our motto, they began to 
laugh at us once more. 
"Grrrr! Cassidy!" Jessie growled. 
"And Botch, too!" I chimed in. 
"The name is BUTCH!" he shouted. "Can't you get anything right?!" 
Jessie, Meowth, and I cringed at the god-awful sound of his voice. 
What the hell are these bastards doing here?! I wondered as they continued to 
gloat. I thought they were still in jail on Mandarin Island! I guess the boss 
bailed their sorry asses out...again.... 
Knowing that my Moltres honor was at stake and that we had no choice but to 
battle them, Jessie and I sprang to our feet and got out our poke balls. Before 
we could release Arbok and Weezing, however, Cassidy's Raticate lunged at us, 
and Butch released a Primeape. 
Taken off guard by the unpleasant surprise, Jessie, Meowth, and I were knocked 
down by Raticate and pummeled by Primeape. Once we'd been overpowered, the 
fiends tied us up and locked us in the back room, laughing all the while as they 
left us to rot. 
@->->- 
Meowth seemed disheartened by our latest defeat, and behind me I could hear 
Jessie muttering a string of curses under her breath about how much she hated 
Cassidy. (It's still beyond me how a sweet, beautiful girl like my Jessie could 
ever have been friends with a vile, insufferable wench like Cassidy. I guess 
Cassidy just pretended to be her friend and used her, and Jess put up with it 
because nobody else would even have anything to do with her. I'm glad Jessie 
realized that she was better off without a "friend" like Cassidy though -- with 
friends like that, who needs enemies?!) 
And as I listened to Jessie cursing Cassidy's name, something occurred to me. 
Wait a sec! I said to myself. Who do those miserable pissants think they are?! 
They're certainly not better than us -- I don't see them getting any more 
pokemon for the boss than we ever do...and they always end up in jail! At least 
MY team knows how to get out of trouble -- all they ever do is wait around for 
the boss to bail them out and give them another chance! If Botch and Crappidy 
think for one second that I, James the Moltres, will stand for such idiocy, then 
they have another thing coming! 
Jessie and Meowth continued to bemoan our defeat, but I just laughed. "Fear 
not!" I told them. "You're forgetting that no matter what difficulties befall 
him, the Moltres will always prevail and soar above all others to triumph!" 
With that, I flexed my biceps and pectoral muscles and felt the ropes that bound 
us straining against me. After a moment, one of the coils snapped...and then 
another...and another. One by one, the ropes gave way and fell to the floor. 
Mere twine was no match for my muscle-power! "MOLTRES!!!" I cried as the final 
coil of the rope broke, and I sprang to my feet. Then, I threw myself against 
the door a couple of times and busted it down. 
Jessie and Meowth stared at me in awe. 
"Moltres has broken your bonds!" I said triumphantly. "Come! We must fly!" 
"Wh-whatever you say, James," said Jessie. 
"Yer the leader," said Meowth. 
I nodded and charged out the door. It's time to show those pathetic wannabes 
who's boss around here! I thought. They have insulted my honor...and the honor 
of my friends! For that, Moltres will make them pay! 
@->->- 
When we returned to the main room of the day care center, it was empty. Where 
have those cowards gone?! I wondered as I surveyed the area. They must have fled 
because they knew that their measly bonds could never hold James the Moltres! 
Rooting around behind the desk in hopes of finding some clue as to where they 
went, I soon came across a journal. And as I read what was written inside, I 
learned that Butch and Cassidy had been selling the fortune telling books to the 
children at the day care center and tricking them into handing over their 
pokemon by convincing them that they'd have good luck if they traded for a 
pokemon that matched their sign. 
Well, now that I actually saw their evil scheme written down, I was appalled! 
Appalled, I tell you! Not just by their actions, but my own as well. How could I 
have even thought about wanting to rob a day care center and steal from innocent 
little children?! I may have been drunk on the power of my sign, but even so, 
that didn't give me the right to do something so despicable! Granted, my friends 
and I may give that twerp a hard time, but at least he (and everybody else that 
we try to steal from) can either afford the losses or stick up for themselves! 
Deceiving and robbing children is inexcusable! As desperate as we may be at 
times, Jessie, Meowth, and I would never sink that low! (I remember, once I'd 
even said that no matter how much we may lie, cheat, and steal, we weren't in 
the business of hurting children and destroying their dreams!) 
If...if I'd gone through with it, I wouldn't be any better than Botch and 
Crappidy! I told myself. But I didn't...and now I know what I must do! I just 
hope it isn't too late for James the Moltres to make amends! 
This was about more than just the honor of me and my friends -- Butch and 
Cassidy had sullied the very honor of Team Rocket, and they had to be stopped. 
We may be thieves, but even thieves live by a code of honor. Without that code, 
a thief is nothing more than a common bandit. I knew the boss wouldn't be too 
happy about me putting the kibosh on their evil plans, but he'd soon realize 
that in the big scheme of things, hurting defenseless children was too high a 
price to pay for a few new pokemon. He'd understand that I was only trying to 
uphold the honor of Team Rocket. (And who knows? Maybe this realization would 
mean a raise and a promotion for me, Jessie, and Meowth!) 
"Jessie! Meowth! Find out where the enemy has fled!" I commanded. 
Jessie raised an eyebrow. "And what are you going to do, James?" 
"James the Moltres shall punish these knaves for their evil deeds!" I replied. 
"But first, I must prepare myself for the coming battle!" With that, I swept 
Jessie into my arms and planted a firm, hard kiss on her lips. I could feel her 
melting in my embrace as her mouth opened, and she returned the kiss. 
When I released Jessie, her cheeks turned pink, and she placed a hand over her 
heart. "Wh-whatever you say, James," she gasped. 
Jessie's sapphire eyes began to sparkle, and her knees looked like they were 
turning to jelly as I winked at her and saluted. "I shall return anon!" I told 
her. 
While I was preparing to take my leave, I heard Meowth snickering. "Oooooh, 
yeah! You are SO gonna get laid tonight, Jimmy-boy!" 
"Knock it off, Meowth!" Jessie cried. 
I turned and looked back at the two of them for a moment. Jessie had picked the 
cat up and clamped her hand over his mouth. Her face was redder than ever now. 
Meowth was right -- she wanted me! (I'd been right earlier, as well -- the power 
and charisma of Moltres were irresistable!) 
I winked at Jessie once more and licked my finger, making a sizzling noise as I 
pointed to her. "James the Moltres is burning for you, baby!" I said. 
Jessie dropped Meowth as she placed her hand over her heart and went weak in the 
knees again. 
Meowth, meanwhile, fell to the floor and roared with laughter. 
I couldn't help but laugh too as I looked at them one last time and left the day 
care center. James the Moltres was lucky to have such wonderful teammates on his 
side. 
@->->- 
As I made my way back to the park in order to meditate and plan my battle 
strategy, I happened upon a costume shop. Since it was another six months until 
Halloween, the store was selling its costumes at a drastic discount...and 
naturally, this piqued my interest. Pokemon ensembles were always popular. Who 
knows? Maybe they had a Moltres costume in stock! And what better way for James 
the Moltres to go into battle than in the garb of his pokemon sign? 
Fortune was, indeed, smiling upon me today -- when I entered the shop, the first 
thing I saw was a Moltres outfit hanging on a clearance rack...and it was even 
my size! 
He, he, he! Jessie is just going to love this! I said to myself as I tried the 
costume on and admired myself in the fitting room mirror. The yellow spandex 
bodysuit was form-fitting, and the fiery plumage of the wings, boots, tail, and 
headpiece were magnificent! I wasn't too fond of the poofy collar, and I knew 
that if I'd gotten Jessie to make the costume it would've looked much better, 
but there simply wasn't time for that. I needed a costume now...and for now this 
was more than adequate! (I could always get Jess to make me a better one 
later...and maybe even a sexy little Eevee outfit for herself!) 
The store clerk looked at me as if I were a madman as I exited the fitting room 
still dressed in my costume and made my purchase, but I paid him no mind. He had 
no idea that I was James the Moltres and that I was preparing for the battle of 
my life, but he'd learn soon enough. When I brought those two brigands to 
justice, I'd be a hero, and everybody would know the glorious name of James the 
Moltres! 
@->->- 
While I was returning to the day care center, I met up with Jessie and Meowth 
again. 
"Ah! There you are!" I said. "Did you learn where our enemy has gone?" 
Meowth's eyes widened, and his mouth pulled into a frown when he saw me. 
"Uhhh...what the hell are you wearin', James?!" he asked. 
"Fool! Can you not see that I am Moltres?!" I told him. 
He rolled his eyes. "Whatever." 
"Nice outfit, James," Jessie said as she came to my side and ran her fingers 
along one of my wings. 
I smiled at her. 
Meowth snickered again. "Oooooohhhh, Jimbo, ya shoulda heard her carryin' on! 
After ya left, Jess was all like, OH, MY GOD!!! JAMES IS TOO SEXY!!! I bet ya 
damn near made her underwears explode when ya broke dose ropes with yer 
pecs...." 
"SHUT UP, MEOWTH!!!" Jessie cried, giving him a swift kick in the rear. Her face 
was turning bright red again. 
I felt myself welling up with pride once more. Ah! She sings a different song 
already! The lady fair will definitely be mine once I vanquish the villains! 
"Worry not, my love," I said as I took Jessie in my arms. "James the Moltres 
will fulfill your every desire soon enough!" With that, I planted another kiss 
on her lips and caressed her bare midriff, bringing my hands lower until they 
were resting on her butt. 
Jessie pulled away and slapped me across the face. "Don't you get fresh with me, 
James!" she shouted. 
Meowth began to laugh. "Looks like the Moltres just got shot down!" Then, he 
winked at me. "Ah, don't worry about it, Jimmy -- she's just playin' hard ta 
get. We all know she wants ya!" 
I looked again at Jessie. Her cheeks were still flushed, and she was looking at 
me with bedroom eyes. She did, indeed, want me -- she'd only resisted my 
advances out of pride. I felt my cheeks flushing as well, and I chuckled. 
Jessie brought out her paper fan and smacked me and Meowth over the head. "Can 
you boys PLEASE get your minds out of the gutter for a minute?! We've got more 
important things to worry about!" 
She was right -- I could always pleasure her later, but right now we had to stop 
Butch and Cassidy...and we'd already wasted valuable time! 
"Verily! Enough of your shenanigans, cat!" I said, grabbing Meowth and putting 
him in a headlock. "Now I shall ask again -- have you found where the enemy has 
fled?" 
Jessie nodded. "There's a warehouse behind that day care center. That's where 
Butch and Cassidy are taking all of the pokemon they've stolen. Meowth and I saw 
them carrying crates of poke balls back there, so we came to find you." 
I nodded approvingly. "You have done well," I said. 
"So, what's yer plan, fearless leader?" Meowth asked. 
There was no missing the sarcasm in his voice, but I paid him no mind. "We shall 
return and engage the scoundrels in combat, of course!" I replied. "But first, I 
need a crane." 
The two of them gave me a confused look. 
"A crane?!" said Meowth. 
"What do you need a crane for, James?" Jessie asked. 
"So that I can swoop down from the heavens as I vanquish my foes!" I told her. 
"I may have the soul of a Moltres, but I have the body of a human! I can't fly 
on my own, you know!" 
"James, I think you're getting a little too carried away with this Moltres 
thing," Jessie told me. 
"Yeah! You ain't a Moltres -- yer a looney-bird!" Meowth agreed. 
"Go ahead! Laugh all you want!" I shot back. "But when I, James the Moltres, 
emerge victorious, I shall be the one who has the last laugh!" I laughed 
maniacally when I said this, emphasizing the point. 
Jessie sighed. "Whatever you say, James." 
Meowth closed his eyes and thought for a moment. "Okay, bird-boy, you win. We'll 
humor ya." 
I raised an eyebrow. 
"We saw a place that rents construction equipment a couple of blocks from the 
day care center," said Jessie. "I guess we could get a crane there." 
I smiled at her again. "Then come! Let us hie thither immediately! We haven't a 
second to waste!" 
With that, I began to charge up the street once again, and once again, Jessie 
and Meowth followed. 
@->->- 
Once we'd rented a crane, Jessie and Meowth hooked me to it and started driving 
towards the warehouse. In a matter of minutes, I'd be engaging my foes in combat 
and making the name of James the Moltres known to the entire world! 
This must be the greatest day of my life! I said to myself as I closed my eyes 
and relished the feeling of the wind whipping through my hair and feathers. 
Jessie is in love with me, and my soul is soaring higher than Moltres itself! 
Who would've thought that one little book could have so much power?! 
When I opened my eyes again, I saw that we were approaching the warehouse. 
Jessie pulled a lever and lifted the arm of the crane, moving me out of the way. 
Then, she put the crane into high gear and rammed the wall a few times, breaking 
it down. 
And sure enough, once the dust had settled, I saw Butch and Cassidy standing 
inside the warehouse, staring in horror at the now shattered wall. Ash, Misty, 
and Brock were in the warehouse too, and it looked as if they'd been preparing 
for a fight. They seemed to be taken off-guard by my appearance as well. 
It was time to make my grand entrance! 
"I am the flame that burns brightest!" I announced as Jessie pulled the lever 
again and slowly began to lower me into the building. "A flame that lights the 
night! A flame that shatters the darkness! I am a flaming Moltres! Bwa, ha, ha, 
ha, ha!!!!!" 
Butch, Cassidy, and all three of the twerps said nothing, just stared up at me 
with expressions of utter shock and confusion on their faces. They obviously 
weren't expecting the mighty Moltres...the Hero of Destiny to be none other than 
James of Team Rocket! 
In the silence that ensued, I could hear Jessie and Meowth whispering about me. 
"Dat outfit...I wonder where he got it?" Meowth muttered. 
"I think that costume came right out of his closet," Jessie muttered back. 
WHAT?! What the hell was that supposed to mean?! Was Jessie suggesting that my 
Moltres costume looked gay?! I was wearing it to impress her -- I thought she 
liked it! (Hmmm...now that I thought about it, perhaps "flaming" wasn't the best 
choice of words to use to describe myself. That's the double-edged sword of 
being part of a family of smart-asses -- it's always fun when Meowth and I pick 
on Jessie for saying something foolish, and when Jess and I gang up on Meowth 
for his gaffes...but by that same token, Jessie and Meowth are just as merciless 
with me whenever it's my turn to make the inevitable foolish remark. And I guess 
it was my turn now.) 
Still, even though I knew that Jessie was only joking around with that comment 
about my costume, I wasn't going to let it slide. I was James the Moltres, after 
all! Nobody insults me and gets away with it...not even in jest! 
Swinging myself backwards, I landed on the windshield of the crane and looked 
over my shoulder at Jessie. "Yeah, you weren't talking like that last night, 
baby!" I retorted. 
I hadn't spoken loud enough for the twerps or Butch and Cassidy to hear, but 
Jessie definitely heard me -- her face turned bright red again! And as our eyes 
met, I could tell that she was recalling the events of the previous night, 
too.... 
(After another long day of traveling, we'd made camp in the hills overlooking 
the city. The weather had been clear and balmy, and Jessie and I had gone for a 
walk after eating dinner. We'd held hands as we sat together beneath a tree and 
watched the sunset, and we'd talked for hours as the moon rose and the stars 
came out. And as we'd sat together talking, there'd been something magical about 
the moment...something that made us want to be even closer to each other than we 
already were. 
I remembered how Jessie had purred in my arms last night as I'd made love to 
her. She'd cried out in pleasure at every movement I'd made, and every time we 
finished, Jessie would pounce on me, and we'd start again. We hadn't returned to 
camp until the wee hours of the morning, and even then, we'd held each other 
close as we laid together in our sleeping bag, and Jessie had told me over and 
over again what an incredible lover I was.) 
I snickered at the abashed expression on Jessie's face. Meowth snickered too and 
playfully jabbed her in the ribs. 
Heh, heh, heh. That got her! I said to myself as I laughed once more and swung 
back into the action. 
Butch, Cassidy, and the twerps, meanwhile, were still dumbfounded by my 
presence. When I announced to them that I was James the Moltres and that if they 
surrendered, I'd be merciful, however, the twerps began to whine and say that I 
was no Moltres. 
It was no surprise that they doubted the veracity of my claim, so I didn't allow 
it to raise my ire. Rather, I figured that I could use their dubiousness to my 
advantage. They'd see my power soon enough...a power that would seem all the 
greater if they underestimated me! 
"My soul is the soul of Moltres!" I said calmly to the nonbelievers. I then told 
them about the amazing fortune telling book that had changed my life. 
Misty hung her head and sighed when I mentioned the book, and she replied that 
she already knew about it. She obviously wasn't happy with her sign. (Not all of 
us are lucky enough to be born a Moltres-type, after all.) 
Butch and Cassidy, however, still weren't impressed -- they even looked like 
they were ready to start jeering and hurling insults! 
Well that did it. My patience with these fools had been pushed to its limit -- 
it was time unleash my Moltres powers and put an end to their evil! 
"Prepare, knaves!" I shouted, bringing out one of my poke balls and releasing 
Victreebel. 
Victreebel screamed happily when he saw me and leapt up to give me a love-bite, 
but I wasn't in the mood for his affections today. This was the decisive 
battle...the denouement! He had to stay focused! When he lunged at me, I kicked 
him away and scolded him. And when he saw that our opponents were Butch and 
Cassidy, he seemed to understand why it was so important for us to win this 
battle and obediently assumed a fighting-stance. 
"Raticate! Super Fang attack!" Cassidy shouted, sending forth her own pokemon. 
"Victreebel! Stun Spore!" I commanded. 
As Raticate charged us, Victreebel unleashed a golden cloud of Stun Spores and 
paralyzed him. 
"Now hurry up and use Razor Leaf!" I said. 
Taking advantage of the moment, Victreebel fired a barrage of leaves at the 
stunned Raticate and cut him down to size. 
"Excellent attacks! I am proud of you, Victreebel -- you are battling like the 
pokemon of a Team Rocket champion!" I told my pokemon as he stood happily over 
his vanquished foe. 
Well, now that I'd won the first battle, it looked as if I'd finally earned some 
respect. Ash, Misty, and Brock seemed impressed by my victory, and even Jessie 
and Meowth looked like they were beginning to comprehend my powers. 
Butch and Cassidy, however, were being sore losers and insisted on talking 
trash. 
Now it was time to shut those pissants up and put them in their place for good! 
"Come on, Botch! You want a piece of me?!" I shouted defiantly. 
"You'd better shut your beak!" he shot back. 
Just as I was about to command Victreebel to attack, however, they did something 
that stopped me dead in my tracks.... 
"For your information, that book is a fake!" Cassidy sneered. "We made the whole 
thing up!" 
I brought out the book and looked at it in disbelief. "Y-you mean this book is a 
work of fiction?!" I cried. 
"That's right," she replied smugly. 
"A-and the part about me being a Moltres?!" 
"A lie!" Butch croaked. 
I wasn't a Moltres after all?! I couldn't believe it! I wouldn't believe it! How 
could I not be a Moltres after everything that had happened today...after all 
I've accomplished?! 
As Butch and Cassidy explained that they'd made bogus copies of a real fortune 
telling book as part of their con, I realized that for once they weren't lying. 
I really wasn't a Moltres-type! I'd been tricked, just like everybody else! 
At that moment, I felt more foolish than I'd ever felt in my entire life. I'd 
made a complete jackass of myself...not just to Jessie and Meowth, but to all of 
my enemies as well! I was no Hero of Destiny, just the idiotic, bumbling James 
that everybody thinks I am. It was stupid of me to think that I could ever be 
anything more...that maybe for once in my life, I could do something right. 
It felt as if my heart had been pierced by an arrow of ice as I fell from the 
crane and landed on the floor with a jarring crash -- the mighty Moltres, shot 
down from the sky. 
As I sat there and kept muttering that I was Moltres, I felt Wobbuffet give me a 
reassuring pat on the shoulder. But his kindness was small comfort to me -- 
nothing could make me feel better after the humiliating defeat I'd just 
suffered! 
Before long, I heard Butch and Cassidy starting another fight with Jessie and 
Meowth. It was more of the usual We're better than you -- the boss is fed-up 
with your incompetence bullshit. Never one to tolerate an insult, Jessie 
defended herself against their accusations, and another pokemon battle ensued. 
While Wobbuffet was knocking out Raticate by turning his own attack against him, 
Meowth came to my side and screamed at me to get up and fight. 
But it was no use -- how could I battle if I wasn't Moltres?! Without my powers, 
I was nothing. "I am Moltres...I will prevail...." I said, still trying to 
convince myself that there might be a chance the book was right. 
Meowth turned away from me and shrugged. "Have it yer way, bird-boy," he sighed. 

Suddenly, Jessie and Wobbuffet went flying across the room -- they'd just been 
knocked out by Primeape. Normally, seeing my Jessie get hurt would've driven me 
to rage, but I still didn't have the impetus to get up and fight...not even for 
her. It was hopeless. 
Then, the Primeape came over to me and Meowth and punched us as well. We were 
knocked into Victreebel, who was still in the middle of the fray, and the three 
of us landed in a tangled heap next to Jessie and Wobbuffet. 
"Raticate! Skull Bash attack!" Cassidy screamed. 
When I looked up, I saw the rat charging towards us at full-tilt. Then, he 
slammed into us and sent us blasting off. 
"I told you Moltres would triumph! Now I'm flying high!" I said as my friends 
and I were launched into the sky. 
"Den why do I feel so low?" Meowth moaned. 
"Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off again," we grumbled in unison. 
I hung my head and sighed. No matter how much I tried to tell myself it wasn't 
so...that everything would be okay, I still couldn't convince myself of it. I 
wasn't Moltres. I never had been...and I never would be. 
@->->- 
We landed back in the middle of the park -- the exact same place where Meowth 
had found the book that morning. The exact same place where this whole 
misadventure began. 
"Goddammit!" Jessie shouted as she got to her feet again and began to kick a 
nearby lamp post. "Goddammit to HELL!!! I HATE THOSE GODDAMNED ASSHOLES!!!!!" 
"You and me, both!" Meowth growled. "I hate Botch and Crappidy even more den I 
hate Ash...and considerin' how much I despise dat twerp, dat's REALLY sayin' 
somethin'!" 
I ran a hand through my tangled hair and sighed again as I pulled off the 
tattered remnants of my once-magnificent Moltres costume and put my uniform back 
on. I hated Butch and Cassidy, too. Once again, those assholes -- those assholes 
who fail even more...and more miserably than we ever do -- had made complete 
fools of us! I'd been Moltres -- the mighty hero who was destined for greatness! 
Jessie had been impressed by my prowress and might! Everything had been so 
perfect...and it had all turned to shit because of them! 
Unable to contain her rage, Jessie screamed and kicked the lamp post again. The 
force of the kick's impact made her fall back to the ground and clutch her 
foot...and then she screamed once more, this time from pain rather than anger. 
"Well, I think it's pretty safe ta say dat today sucked," said Meowth. 
"You can say that again," Jessie groaned, wiggling her toes to make sure they 
weren't broken. 
"Hey, you okay, Jess?" he asked. 
"I'll be fine," she replied. 
"What about you, Moltres-boy?" 
"Yeah," I mumbled. But in my heart, I knew that I wasn't. 
"Say, since we already got our asses whipped, why don't we just write off the 
rest a the day and go find a motel where we can crash for awhile?" Meowth 
suggested. "Maybe we'll feel better once we get some rest." 
"Sounds like a plan to me," said Jessie. 
"Whatever," I mumbled again. 
The three of us hung our heads as we left the park and walked down the street in 
search of a motel. Once again, we'd been utterly defeated, but maybe Meowth was 
right -- maybe this whole ordeal wouldn't seem so bad once we'd gotten some 
rest. Still, knowing that I wasn't Moltres didn't seem like something that a 
little rest would cure. 
"It's devastating to think that you have a Moltres-type personality and then 
lose it," I said sadly. 
Meowth looked up at me and smirked. "You was better off without a personality," 
he remarked. 
I know Meowth was trying to cheer me up with his sarcasm, but it just wasn't 
working. I felt bad enough as it was -- the last thing I needed was for him to 
be picking on me. 
Before I could tell him to leave me alone, however, Jessie suddenly stopped in 
her tracks. "Look! A fortune telling book!" she cried. "Maybe this is the real 
one!" 
I looked up and saw that we were passing by a bookstore...and that they had 
fortune telling books sitting on a clearance rack by the front door. Jessie had 
grabbed one of the books and was now flipping through the pages. 
As I looked at that book, I felt my hope renewing. Maybe my sign really is 
Moltres, and Butch and Cassidy just said it wasn't to discourage me! Or maybe my 
real sign is something even better! I said to myself. 
Quickly, I snatched the book away from Jessie. "Hmmm...maybe this one will say 
I'm a Moltres!" I said as I turned to page 50...the same page that Moltres had 
been on in the other book. "Ah! Here's my birthday, and...." 
But what I saw on page 50 was anything but Moltres! Instead, I saw the last 
thing I wanted to see...the sign I dreaded above all others -- Magikarp! 
"Oh, no! IT CAN'T BE!!!!!" I screamed as I looked in horror at what my real sign 
was. 
Of all the pokemon signs out there, why, oh why did my sign have to be 
Magikarp?! It had been a Magikarp that was responsible for me and my friends 
getting stuck on the St. Anne when it capsized and sank on the open sea almost 
two years ago...I'd had a Magikarp stuck to my head in the Orange Islands last 
summer...it had been because of a Magikarp that Jessie had almost lost Lickitung 
a few weeks ago...and Magikarp were always evolving into Gyrados and blasting me 
and my friends off! Of all the pokemon out there, Magikarp seems to be the one 
that brings me the worst luck. Having a Magikarp-type personality seemed like a 
particularly cruel twist of fate. 
It figures. 
@->->- 
It felt like I had a knife in my heart as we continued on our way. If I thought 
it was bad to know I wasn't a Moltres, it was even worse now that I knew what I 
really was. 
Jessie and Meowth didn't speak a word to me for the rest of the afternoon (they 
probably knew there wasn't anything they could say that would make me feel 
better), and in the oppressive silence that ensued, I kept playing part of an 
old Albert King blues song over and over in my mind: 
Born under a bad sign. 
I been down since I began to crawl. 
And if it wasn't for bad luck, 
I wouldn't have no luck at all! 
Hard luck and trouble 
Is my only friend. 
I been on my own 
Ever since I was ten. 
Born under a bad sign. 
I been down since I began to crawl. 
And if it wasn't for bad luck, 
I wouldn't have no luck at all! 
How true it was...how true it was.... 
@->->- 
Before long, we found a motel that had some vacancies, and we checked in. Once 
we got to our room, Jessie went into the bathroom to take a shower, and I 
flopped down on the bed, still dejected from the knowledge that I was a Magikarp 
-- the most unlucky and useless of pokemon. 
Meowth seated himself next to me and grabbed the remote from the nightstand. 
"Hey! Dis joint's got cable!" he exclaimed. "Come on, Jimmy, let's watch some 
TV! It'll make ya feel better!" 
"Whatever," I sighed. Somehow, I doubted that television was going cheer me up. 
Meowth channel-surfed for a few minutes until he came to one of the premium 
movie networks. After a few minutes of commercials, the feature presentation 
began. He grinned when he saw what movie was. 
"All right! It's Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me!" he cried. "I LOVE dis 
flick!" 
I managed a weak smile. I liked that movie too, but I just couldn't get as 
excited about it as he was. Still, I knew that it would be better to take my 
mind off of my troubles for awhile rather than dwell on them all night, so I 
decided to watch it with him. 
As I sat there and watched the movie, however, I found that I just couldn't get 
the events of the day out of my mind. And the scene where Dr. Evil stole 
Austin's mojo and made him fall flat with Felicity Shagwell even seemed to 
strike a raw nerve with me! 
I sighed. Man, I know how you feel, Austin! Not groovy at all.... 
At my side, Meowth chuckled. "Heh, heh, heh! I just love dat Mini-Me -- he's the 
REAL star a dis movie! Don't you think so, James?" 
I smiled weakly again. 
"Hey! What the hell is wrong with you, anyway?!" he snapped, jabbing me in the 
ribs with his elbow. "Dis is FUNNY -- yer supposed ta be laughin'!" 
"Ha, ha," I muttered sarcastically. 
He waved his paw at me and made a face. "Ah, ta hell with ya -- yer no fun!" 
I scowled and folded my arms across my chest. 
For the next fifty minutes, Meowth cracked up at the antics of Austin Powers, 
Dr. Evil, Mini-Me, Fat Bastard, and Scott, and I sat by his side in silence. As 
hilarious as the movie was, I just wasn't in the mood to laugh. How could I 
laugh when the stars had condemned me to such a cruel fate? 
When Jessie finally got out of the bathroom and seated herself on the bed with 
us, I got up so that I could take a shower as well. 
"Where are you going, James?" she asked. 
"Where does it look like?" I replied curtly. 
"But yer gonna miss the end a the movie!" Meowth protested. 
"I've seen it before," I grumbled. 
Jessie and Meowth exchanged sad looks as I slammed the bathroom door behind me. 
@->->- 
Once I was alone in the bathroom, I looked at myself in the mirror and frowned. 
I didn't see anybody heroic or Moltres-ey staring back at me. All I saw was a 
worthless loser...a Magikarp. 
"Maybe there isn't any rhyme or reason to my suffering, after all," I told 
myself. "Maybe the reason I'm always failing is because I'm just doomed to 
failure. How could I have thought any different?" 
Unable to bear the sight of myself any longer, I tore my gaze away from the 
mirror and took off my uniform. I then got into the shower and turned on the 
water. And as I stepped under the nozzle, I got hit by an icy blast. 
Shit! Jessie must've used all the hot water! I said to myself. 
After eight years of traveling on the open road and camping out, I'm used to 
cold baths and showers -- I take them all the time. But when I get the chance to 
stay in a motel or a cabin, I like my showers hot! I'd been looking forward to a 
nice, hot shower for the past hour...a nice, hot shower to wash away all the 
sweat and grime and relax my aching muscles, but now I had to settle for another 
cold one. 
Hmmmph. The only part of that damn fortune telling book that was actually right 
was the part that said I'd have bad luck with water. Just my luck.... I thought 
as I poured some shampoo into my hands and began to lather my hair. 
Once I'd washed my hair, scrubbed myself clean, and rinsed off, I got out of the 
shower and wrapped myself in a towel. I had a chill from the cold water, and 
even after drying myself off and putting on my pajamas, I just couldn't get 
warm. 
Everything seemed to be leaving me cold today. 
@->->- 
When I got out of the bathroom, I saw Jessie lying on the bed. She was wearing a 
little red negligee, and she was smiling at me. 
"We called for pizza while you were in the shower," she told me. "Meowth found 
some coupons in the motel lobby when we checked in -- buy an extra large with 
three toppings and a two-liter of soda, and get a free pizza. It was carry-out 
only though, so he went to pick them up." 
Normally, my stomach would've started growling at the mention of pizza...and I 
would've been more excited to see Jessie in her sexiest nightie. But neither one 
seemed to have much of an impact on me tonight. I just wasn't in the mood for 
anything -- food or sex -- after what I'd been through. 
"That's nice," I muttered as I got into bed next to her and covered myself with 
the blanket. I was still cold from that shower. 
"You know," she continued, "Meowth just left a couple of minutes ago. That means 
we've got this room to ourselves for at least half an hour!" 
I looked over at her as she pulled the blanket off of me and began to unbutton 
my pajama top. 
Jessie scooted closer, and her smile grew even wider than it already was. "I'm 
not wearing any panties, James!" she whispered seductively into my ear. "Meowth 
was right -- you made them explode when you broke those ropes with your muscles 
this afternoon!" 
I felt my heart skip a beat when she said this. My cheeks started to turn pink 
as she blew into my ear and began to run her fingers along my now bare chest. 
Jessie was pretty damned hard to resist! But no matter how hot she was, I still 
wasn't in the mood. I had a pounding headache from being blasted off, all of my 
muscles were stiff and sore, and I just didn't feel sexy now that I wasn't a 
Moltres anymore. 
Jessie's smile became a grin as she rolled herself on top of me. "You make me 
horny, baby! Let's shag!" she said in her best Austin Powers voice. 
As she placed her hand on my crotch and began to pull down my pajama pants, I 
pushed her off of me. "Not tonight, Jess," I groaned. 
Jessie looked at me as if I'd just slapped her across the face. "Not tonight?! 
What do you mean, not tonight?!" she demanded. 
"I don't feel like it," I told her, buttoning up my top and adjusting my pants 
again. "I just want to go to sleep." 
Her look of shock gave way to anger. "Oh, no you don't -- you don't get off that 
easy!" she snapped. "All day long you've been turning me on and promising to 
fulfill my every desire, so you'd better take off those damn pajamas and start 
fulfilling, mister!" 
Not wanting to argue with her about it any longer, I covered myself with the 
blanket once more and buried my head under my pillow. "Good night, Jessie," I 
said. 
Jessie ripped the pillow away from me. "Is this about that book?!" she asked. 
"You don't want me, just because that goddamned book says you're a Magikarp?!" 
"It's more than that!" I retorted as I sat up in bed and faced her again. 
She folded her arms across her chest and gave me one of her I demand an 
explanation! looks. 
I ran a hand through my hair. "Jessie...when I was Moltres...I don't know. I 
felt strong. I felt sexy. I felt like I was worthy of you. But I'm not a 
Moltres...just a useless Magikarp," I told her. 
"So, basically...you don't want me, just because that goddamned book says you're 
a Magikarp," she repeated. 
I sighed. 
Jessie frowned and began to slap me. "HOW DARE YOU?!" she cried. "How dare you 
spend all day getting me hot and bothered and then turn into a cold fish on 
me?!" 
Even though she wasn't hitting me hard, I put an arm up to shield myself from 
her slaps. "Jessie, please...." 
As she continued to hit me, Meowth came through the door carrying two pizza 
boxes and a bottle of cola. "Hey, guys! Dere wasn't a line at the pizza place, 
so I was in and outta dere in five minutes! Can ya believe....?" His eyes 
widened when he saw us. "Uh...what's goin' on here?!" 
Jessie screwed up her face and pointed an accusing finger at me. "James won't 
have sex with me!" she moaned. 
Meowth rolled his eyes as he set the food on the table. "Oh, brother." 
"You saw him, Meowth!" she continued. "He spent all day being sexy and promising 
me a night of romance, and now he won't even touch me! It's not fair!" 
"Oh, give it a rest, will you?!" I shouted. "Can't a guy change his mind when 
he's not in the mood anymore?!" 
Meowth jumped onto the bed and stepped between us. "Okay, lemme get dis 
straight. James, ya got the hottest, sexiest, most beautiful woman in the world 
beggin' ya ta make love ta her, and yer not in the mood?!" He placed his paw on 
my forehead. "What the hell is wrong with ya?! Are ya sick, or somethin'?!" 
"Just leave me alone. Both of you," I growled as I turned away from them and 
buried myself under the blanket for the third time that night. 
"Goddammit, James!" Jessie shouted as she tore the blanket off of me once again. 
"You talk in that hot Dungeons & Dragons voice, you break ropes with your 
muscles, you flirt with me like there's no tomorrow, you stand up to Botch and 
Crappidy, you wear that drop-dead sexy Moltres thing, and then you won't even 
pleasure me like you promised?! You're a great, big jerk!" 
"Oh, so NOW my Moltres outfit is sexy?!" I said sarcastically. 
"What's that supposed to mean?!" she demanded. 
"You said I looked gay in it!" 
Her eyes widened. "I did NOT!" 
"Oh? Then what was that whole out of my closet thing about, huh?!" I asked. "I 
assume you didn't like how I looked since you insulted me!" 
Jessie sighed. "James, I didn't mean it that way." 
"Then how did you mean it?" 
"I...I just said that because I was mad at you," she explained. "After you broke 
those ropes and freed us, I thought it'd be really fun...and sexy to make a 
Moltres costume for you! And then you ran off, and when you came back, you were 
already wearing one! I was pissed off because you didn't even give me a chance! 
I guess I took it personally...like my sewing wasn't good enough for James the 
Moltres...." 
"Well, you should've said something," I told her. "I didn't know you wanted to 
make a costume for me -- I only bought that other one because I was in a hurry. 
If I knew, I guess I would've waited, though." 
This made her smile. "Yes, you should have waited, James," she said. "Because 
the outfit I wanted to make would've been MUCH nicer than the one you bought!" 
I raised an eyebrow. "Really? How so?" 
Jessie leaned closer to me and ran her fingers along my chest once again. 
"Well...first, I wouldn't have put that big, poofy collar on it -- I would've 
wanted to show off those super-sexy, rope-breaking pecs! And I would've shown 
off those strong arms instead of hiding them under all that plumage. I would've 
made the bodysuit a little tighter, too...." 
Meowth snickered. "Yeah! She woulda made it more bulgerific!" 
Jessie smacked him over the head and blushed. "Quiet, you!" 
I couldn't help but smile. 
"But this isn't about the costume, is it?" she asked once Meowth was able to 
stop laughing. "This is still about that book saying you're a Magikarp." 
I hung my head and sighed. "Yes." 
Jessie cupped my chin in her hand. "James, why are you letting that stupid book 
upset you so much?" she asked. "I didn't think you even believed in fortune 
telling! So why should it make any difference what your sign is?" 
I closed my eyes and thought about it for a moment. "Well...I didn't believe in 
it at first," I said. "But then all the stuff it said about me came true, and 
everything seemed to make sense...and it just made me feel so good to think that 
maybe I was somebody worthwhile...that maybe I had potential. I guess finding 
out that it was all a lie is what got to me." 
"Ah! Now I get it!" said Meowth. 
Jessie gave him a quizzical look. 
"James, here, has lost his mojo!" he explained. "Thinkin' dat he was a Moltres 
made him feel all shagadellic! But Botch and Crappidy took dat away from him -- 
dey stole his mojo, just like Dr. Evil!" 
Jessie facefaulted. "I hate to admit this, but your Austin Powers metaphor 
actually makes sense!" 
"That's exactly it," I muttered. "I feel like my mojo's a no-go. I just don't 
feel like I'm good enough for you, Jess...." 
Meowth smirked. "Well, if you'd a stayed and watched the rest a the movie with 
us instead a bein' Mr. Misery and stompin' off, ya woulda remembered what 
happened ta Austin's mojo...and ya woulda seen why what happened ta you ain't no 
big deal." 
I closed my eyes again and recalled what happened in the movie. "Hmmm...if I 
remember correctly, he never got his mojo back -- when Dr. Evil threw the vial 
it was in, Austin didn't catch it in time, and it shattered on the floor." 
Meowth nodded. "Dat's right! But he still ended up bein' the most shagadellic 
secret agent of all time cuz he learned dat mojo ain't some green liquid in a 
tube -- it's a state of mind! He never really lost his mojo cuz he had it all 
along, and it ain't no different with you, Jimmy!" 
I smiled at Jessie. "You're right, Jess. This Austin Powers stuff really does 
make sense!" 
She nodded. "Yeah! So you see, James? You didn't need a silly fortune telling 
book -- you had those Moltres powers the whole time!" 
I hung my head again. "But that's the problem!" I moaned. "I'm NOT a Moltres! 
The real book says I'm a loser!" 
Jessie placed her hand on my shoulder. "James, if we'd found the real book this 
morning, and I'd told you that you were a Magikarp-type, would you have cared?" 
I felt tears stinging my eyes as I looked up at her. "I...I suppose not," I 
admitted. "I didn't really care at first when the fake book said I was a 
Moltres. I guess I would've laughed it off and thought it was just a hoax if 
it'd been the real book, too." 
"Then why can't you do that now?" she asked. "And don't tell me it's because you 
know the fortune telling is real. The fake book's predictions may have come 
true, but they were fake! That proves they were only coincidences...just like 
you said!" 
"Hmmm...good point," I said as I rubbed my eyes and brushed the tears away. 
"And I don't need to see the real book to know that it's just a hoax, too," 
Jessie continued. "James, the real book is completely different from the fake 
one. I'm betting that it has a completely different horoscope for you today. And 
if all of the fake book's predictions came true, it means the real book is way 
off-base!" 
I thought for a moment about the real book. I hadn't really read everything it 
said about me because I was so shocked to find out that I was a Magikarp, but I 
did manage to skim over a few parts. "Well...the real book says that the 
Magikarp-type is prone to clumsiness and stupidity, and...." 
Jessie began to laugh. 
"I don't see what's so funny," I grumbled. 
"James, if that's what the book says about you, then that REALLY proves it's 
just a big, steaming pile of Tauros crap!" she said. 
"It does?" 
Jessie nodded and put her arms around me, bringing my head down and resting it 
on her breasts. I closed my eyes and smiled -- her body felt so warm and soft, 
and she smelled wonderful...like strawberries. My smile grew even wider as she 
ran her fingers through my hair and massaged my temples. 
"You're not clumsy, James," she whispered. "You may stumble or drop things every 
now and then, but so what? Everybody does that! Even though you have your klutzy 
moments, you're still one of the most graceful people around. You're a wonderful 
dancer, a fast runner, a skilled marksman, and you're one hell of an acrobat, 
too! It's a rare person who's blessed with agility like that. So if that book 
says you're clumsy, then it couldn't be more wrong! 
"And I don't give a damn what Butch, Cassidy, or anybody else says -- you're not 
stupid either!" she continued. "With all of the machines you've designed and 
built, everything you know about computers, and plants, and cooking, and art, 
your keen analytical mind, your wit...not to mention all of the intellectual, 
philosophical, and literary discussions we've had over the years, don't you DARE 
call yourself stupid or let anybody make you think you are! Anybody who thinks 
you're dumb doesn't know you at all, because you're smart, James! VERY smart!" 
I returned Jessie's embrace and cuddled closer to her. "Thanks, Jess." 
"It's just the truth," she replied as her hands moved from my temples and began 
to massage my back and shoulders. 
"Dat's right!" said Meowth. "Even if dat book sez the Magikarp-type sucks, it 
don't describe you at all! If yer a Magikarp-type, den yer anythin' BUT a 
typical one!" 
"Yeah!" Jessie agreed. "And Moltres, Magikarp -- no matter what that book says 
you are -- it DOESN'T change the fact that you kicked some serious ass today! 
And actually, the fact that you're not a Moltres makes what you did all the more 
impressive!" 
I looked up at her again. "It does?" 
Jessie smiled and caressed my cheek. "Yes," she replied. "Think about it, James! 
You broke ropes with a mere flex of your muscles! You mopped the floor with 
Cassidy and her Raticate, and you didn't take any crap from Butch either! And 
you did one hell of a good job of turning me on! But since you were never a 
Moltres-type to begin with, that means all the stuff you did today didn't come 
from Moltres at all -- it came from YOU! All of that strength, all of that 
courage, all of that ingenuity, all of that sexiness -- that was pure James! 
That's who you really are, and that's never going to change, no matter what the 
stars may say!" 
The smile returned to my lips as I thought about everything Jessie had just 
said. She's right! I didn't need that stupid book -- I've had those amazing 
powers all along! 
"Besides," Jessie continued as she ran her fingers through my hair once again, 
"you've always told me that you believe in people making their own destinies, 
not letting the stars or anything else do it for them." 
"Yeah," I said. "That's something my grand-papa taught me. He said I should 
never let my parents, Jessiebelle, or anybody else try to make me somebody that 
I'm not. He said I should never allow them or anybody else to run my life...." 
My voice caught in my throat for a minute as more tears filled my eyes. "I 
remember...that was his final wish. Before he died, he told me that he wanted me 
to make my own destiny. That's what gave me the courage to give up my 
inheritance and my home...that's what led me to find you, Jessie...." 
The tears began to fall from my eyes as I said this. Jessie gently brushed them 
away and kissed me on the forehead. "Your grand-papa was a very wise man, 
James...and he did a great job, raising a very wise grandson," she whispered. 
"That's why you shouldn't listen to anything those silly fortune telling books 
say. You never let your family control your life, and you can't let a horoscope 
control your life either. You're smarter than that...and your grand-papa raised 
you better than that!" 
I continued to cry as I thought about my grand-papa, and Jessie just held me and 
rocked me back and forth. After a few minutes, I regained my composure and 
looked back at her. "You're right, Jessie," I muttered. "Grand-papa would think 
I was being silly if he knew how carried away I got today." 
"You WERE being silly," she agreed. "But all of the stuff you did was still damn 
sexy. I can forgive you for being such a nut since you meant well. Just promise 
me you won't get carried away with anything like this again or let that stupid 
book ruin your life, okay?" 
I brushed the last of my tears away and smiled at her once more. "Okay." 
"So, you're cool with this now?" she ventured. "You don't mind being a 
Magikarp?" 
My smile became a grin. "Yeah! My mojo is back, baby!" 
Jessie laughed and hugged me again. "I love you, sweetie!" she said, planting 
another kiss on my forehead. 
I hugged back and pressed my lips to hers. "I love you too, Jessie." 
"Awwww! Dat's groovy, baby!" Meowth said as we continued to kiss. "I really hate 
ta break up yer little love-fest, but I'm starvin'! Whaddaya say we have dinner 
before dose pizzas get cold?" 
Jessie and I broke from our embrace and smiled at him. "Sounds good to us!" 
@->->- 
The three of us spent the rest of the evening sitting together on the bed, 
eating pizza and watching TV. I hadn't had pizza in ages, and the ones that 
Jessie and Meowth had ordered were some of the best I'd ever tasted. They had 
pepperoni, green peppers, and mushrooms on them -- my favorite toppings -- and 
there was so much cheese that it practically made the golden crust collapse! The 
cola was some of the best I'd ever tasted, too -- sweet, cold, and bubbly. When 
money is short and food is hard to come by (which had certainly been the case 
with us of late), practically anything tastes good, but this dinner would have 
been excellent, even if we did get to eat more often. 
And it was a great night of television, too. After watching an hour of Match 
Game PM repeats on Game Show Network and playing along, seeing which one of us 
could fill in the blanks with the raunchiest answers (Meowth won, of course), we 
turned to Food Network for a new episode of Iron Chef, my favorite show. And 
what an episode it was -- the challenger ran an unliscensed food stand, so he 
had to prepare his food on the run, always trying to stay one step ahead of the 
law. (Sounds like the story of our lives, sometimes!) Even though he lost the 
Pumpkin Battle to Iron Chef Italian, the very fact that he made it to Kitchen 
Stadium spoke volumes for his skill. If one little food stand chef could make it 
so far, then surely so could my friends and I! 
And as good as the food and the television shows were, even better things were 
in store, as I would soon find out.... 
@->->- 
Once Iron Chef was over, Meowth turned off the TV and jumped down from the bed. 
"Ya know, I think I saw a game-room over by the lobby. I'm gonna go shoot some 
pool," he said. 
"Have fun!" Jessie called to him as he headed for the door. 
"You, too!" he replied, giving us a sly wink. 
After he'd taken his leave, Jessie turned to me and smiled. "You know what this 
means, James?" she whispered seductively as she unbuttoned my pajama top once 
again. 
I returned her smile. "It means we've got this whole room to ourselves for the 
night!" 
"So...are you going to keep your promise and fulfill all of my desires now?" she 
asked. 
"I certainly am," I replied, sliding off my shirt. 
Jessie grinned. "Then start fulfilling, James! I've been waiting all day for 
this!" 
Slowly, I reached over and unlaced the top of Jessie's nightie. She then took my 
hands in her own and placed them on her breasts. Keeping my hands in place, 
Jessie rose to her knees and let the rest of her nightie fall off. Then, she 
leaned closer and pressed her lips to mine as she reached down and pulled off my 
pajama pants and boxer shorts. As we continued to kiss, I removed my hands from 
her breasts and wrapped them around her waist, pulling her completely into me. 
Keeping every inch of her body pressed to mine, Jessie slowly lowered herself 
into my lap and put me inside of her. 
I closed my eyes and sighed contentedly. Jessie's skin felt so smooth as it 
brushed against my own, and her hair felt like silk as I ran my fingers through 
it. 
"Oh, James," she moaned softly, wrapping her arms around me and caressing the 
back of my neck with her delicate fingers. Her touch sent sweet chills of 
pleasure through my entire body. 
"Jessie," I whispered back as I covered her with soft kisses. My lips moved 
along her chest and shoulders, and then to her neck and her face. When my mouth 
closed over hers, Jessie moaned once more and opened her mouth wider. As our 
kiss deepened, we held each other as close as possible, never wanting to let 
go...never wanting the moment to end. 
And as I held Jessie in my arms and made love to her, I thought again about 
everything that had happened today. It was, indeed, silly to think that one 
little fortune telling book could make or break my life. I didn't have to be a 
Moltres to be strong, or brave, or worthy of Jessie's love -- all I had to be 
was myself! Even if I have been a Magikarp all along, I've never let that stop 
me from trying to reach my dreams or finding true love...and I never will! 
When we finished a couple of hours later, Jessie and I remained in our embrace 
and laid together in bed. 
"I said it last night, and I'll say it again -- you're an incredible lover, 
James!" Jessie told me. 
I smiled at her and blushed. 
"I don't care if you're not a Moltres -- you still light my fire like nobody's 
business!" she continued. 
"Thanks," I whispered, pulling her closer and caressing her bare skin. 
Jessie closed her eyes and sighed happily as she rested her head on my chest. "I 
love you so much, James," she muttered. 
As Jessie drifted off to sleep, I smoothed back her crimson hair and gave her a 
kiss on the forehead. "I love you, too," I echoed. 
Once she'd fallen asleep, I found my thoughts drifting to my grand-papa once 
more. For some reason, I kept thinking about the dream I'd had last summer where 
I saw him and got to talk to him for awhile. I remember how he'd told me never 
to doubt that he was proud of me and what I'd done with my life. I don't think 
he would've been too proud of how carried away I got today, but thanks to 
everything he taught me...and a little reminder from Jessie, it had all turned 
out okay in the end. 
Jessie. As I looked again at my beautiful lover, resting peacefully in my arms, 
I recalled what grand-papa had said about her as well. He'd told me that he was 
proud of me for choosing her...for falling in love with somebody who could 
accept me the way I am and make me happy. He'd also said that he was proud of me 
for having the courage to stay by her side, no matter what. But then, how could 
I not do everything in my power to stay by my Jessie's side? If there's one 
thing I know about destiny, it's that Jess and I are bound by it. I'm no fortune 
teller, but I do know that the two of us will be together forever, no matter how 
difficult things may be at times! 
You were right after all, grand-papa! I said to myself as I joined Jessie in 
sleep. My friends and I will prevail over all adversities...and someday we'll 
find that white tomorrow you promised.... 
@->->- 
I awoke the next morning to the most beautiful sight imaginable -- Jessie still 
asleep in my arms as golden sunlight streamed through the window and played upon 
her gorgeous body. I thought again about everything she'd told me the night 
before and how she'd restored my shattered confidence, and it made her all the 
more beautiful in my eyes. 
So, I decided to do something to show Jessie how much she meant to me and how 
much I appreciated what she'd done for me -- I decided to surprise her with 
breakfast in bed. 
"I love you, Jess," I whispered as I gently pulled myself from her arms and 
tucked the sheets around her. 
Jessie sighed contentedly and smiled in her sleep. 
I returned the smile and caressed her cheek. 
After setting up my waffle iron, I opened the mini-fridge and got out the 
ingredients I was going to need for the breakfast I had planned. Then, I mixed 
them all together, making batter for Belgian waffles. 
While the waffle iron was heating, Jessie awoke and came to my side. 
"Good morning, handsome," she said as she snaked her arms around my waist. 
"Good morning, beautiful," I echoed, pouring some batter onto the iron and 
closing it. 
Jessie sniffed the air and tightened her hold on me. "That smells wonderful! 
You're the best cook!" 
I smiled at her. "Well, somebody as wonderful as you deserves nothing but the 
best!" I replied. 
Jessie smiled back and tousled my hair. "You're definitely the best, James!" 
"Thanks, Jess." 
"James?" she said after a moment. 
"What is it, honey?" I asked. 
She blushed a little. "Do you think...I could help you make breakfast?" 
"Jessie, I'm doing this to show you how grateful I am for what you did last 
night," I told her. "You don't have to do a thing." 
Jessie smirked. "I know that! But I love your cooking lessons even more than I 
love your cooking!" 
I smirked back. "Oh, you want a cooking lesson, do you?" 
She blushed again. "Pretty please, James?" 
I laughed. "How can I say no?" With that, I swept Jessie into my arms and seated 
her in my lap. Then, I put my spatula into her hand and opened the waffle iron. 
Jessie cuddled into me and rested her head on my shoulder. "What do I do, 
James?" she asked playfully. 
I wrapped my left arm around her waist and placed my right hand over hers. "You 
pick the waffle up with the spatula, like so...." I guided her hand and helped 
her lift the waffle from the iron. "....And then you put it on a plate to cool, 
like so...." I guided her hand again and helped her put the first of the waffles 
onto the serving platter. 
"Just like that?" she asked. 
"Just like that," I echoed. 
Jessie giggled. "Yay! I can make waffles!" 
"Very good, Jess," I told her. "You get a reward!" 
"Oh? And what would that be?" she asked, turning her head slightly and gazing 
into my eyes. 
I pushed her hair aside and planted a kiss on her neck. "How about that?" 
She sighed as my lips touched her soft, creamy skin. "Mmmm...that'll do just 
fine!" 
I pulled Jessie closer and kissed her again. "You're getting to be a pretty good 
cook, sweetheart!" I told her. 
"Well, with lessons like yours, how could I not?" she replied. "Keep it up, and 
I'll be a gourmet chef!" 
I chuckled as Jessie turned herself around and placed her hands on my shoulders. 
Then, she leaned closer and pressed her lips to mine. 
I love giving Jessie "cooking lessons" -- I give them to her whenever I get the 
chance. I hold her hands and sit her on my lap while I cook, and I let her help 
me prepare the food. And every time she learns her "lesson," I reward her with a 
kiss...or better. I'll admit it's not the fastest way to cook, and sometimes 
Jess is more of a hindrance than a help, but I don't really mind. Being close to 
her is more important to me than food. And besides, she's so damn sexy! How can 
I resist? 
When our kiss ended, we rested our foreheads together and smiled at each other. 
"Why don't we finish making those waffles?" I said. "If they turn out good, I'll 
give you another reward after breakfast!" 
Jessie's smile became a grin, and I could feel her heart racing. "Then let's get 
cooking!" she exclaimed. 
I placed my hands over Jessie's as she turned around once more and picked up the 
bowl of batter. Then, I guided her hands as she poured the batter onto the iron, 
set the bowl down, and closed the lid. While the second waffle was cooking, I 
hugged Jessie to me and covered her face and neck with kisses. After a few 
minutes, I guided her hands again as she picked up the spatula and used it to 
put the waffle onto the plate. The second waffle looked as fluffy and golden as 
the first, and I rewarded Jessie with another kiss. 
We continued like this until all of the batter was gone, and the serving platter 
was stacked with warm, sweet Belgian waffles. After unplugging the waffle iron, 
I ran my finger along the sides of the bowl and coated it with some of the 
remaining batter. I then placed my finger to Jessie's lips and let her lick the 
batter from it. Once she'd finished, she reached into the bowl and covered her 
own finger with batter. Then, she touched her finger to my lips and let me lick 
the batter, too. 
"Very tasty," she muttered seductively. 
"Very," I agreed. 
When we scraped the sides of the bowl and licked each other's fingers a second 
time, Meowth walked through the door and snickered. "Hey! Are youse guys makin' 
breakfast, or is dis just some new kinda foreplay?" 
Jessie looked at him and smirked. "A little bit of both," came her reply. 
Meowth sweatdropped. "I think I just lost my appetite." 
"Oh, knock it off!" she said. "It's not like we had sex on the table or 
anything!" 
"Yeah, DERE'S an image I wanted!" he grumbled. 
"Fine," I said as I picked up the plate of waffles and brought it to the table. 
"If you don't want any, then don't eat any! It's just more for me and Jess!" 
His eyes widened, and he quickly seated himself. "No, no! I'll have some! Just 
don't talk about...ya know. Not while we're eatin', anyway." 
Jessie and I exchanged smiles and joined Meowth at the table. 
"Mmmmmm! Dese are delicious, Jimmy-boy!" the cat remarked as he stacked his 
plate with waffles, drowned them in butter and maple syrup, and proceeded to 
stuff himself. "Once again, ya outdone yerself!" 
"Well, I didn't do it on my own," I told him. "Jessie helped me." 
Jessie nodded and took a big bite from one of her own waffles. "Yeah! They 
turned out pretty good for something that I helped make!" 
I took a bite from one of my waffles and winked at Jessie as it melted in my 
mouth. "Good enough to deserve another reward!" I told her. 
Jessie blushed again. 
Meowth said nothing, just gave us a knowing smile. 
@->->- 
After breakfast, Meowth offered to wash the dishes for me and Jessie since we'd 
done all of the cooking. And since we couldn't very well "reward" each other 
while he was in the room (not unless we wanted to be the butt of his raunchy 
jokes, anyway), we had to find a way to keep ourselves occupied until we had 
some privacy. 
So, I decided to get out my laptop and check our e-mail. 
Once I'd booted up the computer and connected to the internet, I logged into our 
e-mail account. We don't really get that much mail, but we hadn't been online in 
days, and I wanted to check it anyway. 
And I'm glad that I did because we actually had a new message today -- a message 
from Mermaid4@gymtrainers.cerulean.net. 
"Hey! It's Misty!" said Jessie. "I wonder what she wants." 
"Only one way to find out," I replied as I opened the message and began to read: 

Hey, guys! 
Just thought I'd drop u a line and let u know that I'm soooooo sorry 4 what I 
did yesterday. I didn't mean 2 blast u off. I was just mad cos that fake fortune 
telling book said I was a Gyrados! (Can u believe that? Me? A Gyrados? LOL!) 
Anyway, I was kinda grouchy with everybody cos of that. It wasn't personal, and 
I'm sorry. ^_^* 
Oh, and I've got some good news 4 u! After Butch and Cassidy blasted u off, Ash, 
Brock, and I took care of them. They're back in jail! ^_^ I know u hate them cos 
they're so mean and evil, so I thought you'd be happy 2 know about that. Plus, 
as a reward, Officer Jenny gave us a copy of the real fortune telling book, and 
guess what!!!!! B&C did a really crappy job copying that fake book -- it isn't 
anything like the real one! That means I'm not really a Gyrados, so yay!!! ^___^ 

My spirits sank for a moment as I read about Misty finding the real book. She 
seemed to be happy with whatever her new sign was, and with their luck, her 
friends probably all had good signs, too...and that just reminded me of how much 
my sign sucked. 
Suddenly, I felt Jessie place her hand on my shoulder and give me a gentle 
squeeze. I looked over at her and saw that she was smiling at me. And as I gazed 
into Jessie's beautiful blue eyes, I reminded myself that it didn't matter that 
I was a Magikarp because she loved me for who I was. And besides, Butch and 
Cassidy were in jail again! That was definitely good news! 
With rekindled spirit, I took Jessie's hand in my own and continued to read: 
And OMG!!! The real book is soooo cool! It says my sign is Tentacruel! I just 
loooove Tentacruel!!!! They're so pretty and strong and awesome! It's the 
perfect sign 4 me! So much better than nasty old Gyrados! ^____^ Brock is really 
happy, too. The fake book said his sign was Onix. He liked that sign, and it 
really fit him, so he was kinda nervous when we got the real book, but guess 
what! The real book says he's an Onix, too! (I guess B&C got *one* thing right, 
after all. hehe) Ash isn't too happy though. The fake book said he was a 
Bellsprout, and he hated that, but he doesn't like his real sign either -- the 
real book says he's a Mr. Mime! XD He was even angrier than I was about being a 
Gyrados when he saw that! It makes sense though -- that time he dressed like a 
Mr. Mime, his own mom couldn't tell him apart from a real one...and neither 
could u or anybody else! LOL! I guess that fortune telling book is pretty 
accurate, ne? ^_~ 
Jessie laughed when she read this. "See, James? It could've been worse! Magikarp 
might not be very strong, but at least it's not goofy like Mr. Mime!" 
I laughed, too. "Yeah!" 
And while we were looking up our b-days, we looked up some other ones, too. We 
found out that Tracey is a Muk.... 
Jessie laughed again. "Oh, my god! There's another one that's worse than 
Magikarp!" 
I covered my mouth with my hand and snickered. "Yeah! I'd rather be a floppy 
fish than a big, smelly blob any day!" 
Jessie leaned over and kissed my cheek. 
....We also found out that Professor Oak is a Dragonite, and Gary is an 
Arcanine. OMG!!! U should've seen Ash when he read Gary's horoscope! He was all 
like, "Ooooh, that GARY!!! >_<" I think he's jealous cos Gary has a cool sign, 
and he doesn't like his. I swear, he can be so competitive sometimes. -___- 
Anyway, the point of this (besides owing u an apology) is that I wanted 2 ask 
what ure b-days are so I can look up ure signs! James looked really sad when he 
found out he wasn't a Moltres, and Jessie, did u say something about being 
disappointed that u weren't an Eevee? That really sux that B&C messed with u 
like that. =( But who knows? Maybe it's like Brock and they didn't get ure 
horoscopes wrong, or maybe it's like me and ure real signs are even better than 
the fake ones! If u let me know ure b-days, I'll be happy 2 look them up 4 u! 
^___^ 
Hope 2 chat soon! 
-- Misty 
When we finished reading the message, Jessie and I exchanged looks. 
"Should I tell her that we already have a copy of the real book?" I asked. 
"Yeah, we should," Jessie replied. "That was nice of her to offer, though." 
I nodded. But just as I was about to hit the reply button, Jessie placed her 
hand over mine and stopped me. 
"Wait." 
"What is it, Jess?" 
"Well," she said, "before we say anything, why don't we look at that book 
again?" 
I raised an eyebrow. "What's the point? I don't care about anything it has to 
say anymore." 
"I know. But I meant just for fun," she told me. "We can read your horoscope to 
see just how wrong it is...." 
Meowth finished washing the dishes and joined us. "Yeah! Dat oughtta be good for 
a few laughs!" 
"And I never got the chance to look up my real sign," she continued. "I don't 
really care what the book says either, but I am curious." 
I closed my eyes and thought for a moment. They had a point -- the book may have 
been right about Misty and her friends, but it couldn't have been more wrong 
about me! It'd be fun to take another look and see just how unreliable it was! 
Jessie placed her hand on my shoulder once again. "Just keep in mind that no 
matter what that book says, you have to take it with a grain of salt. Remember 
that episode of That's My Shrubb! where Dubya was calling the psychic hotline, 
and the fortune teller turned out to be some big fat guy who was just playing 
solitaire with the Tarot cards?" 
Meowth facefaulted. "I can't believe dat moron has his own show," he grumbled. 
"He doesn't!" said Jessie. "It's just a satire that shows what an idiot W. 
Shrubb is! Didn't you see who the executive producers are?" 
He shook his head. 
"Rhiannon and Laine!" she told him. 
Meowth's eyes widened. "Ya mean the friends of dose girls who put us in dere 
comic book?" 
"Yep. That's them." 
This made him laugh. 
I couldn't help but laugh, too. I still remembered how much fun Jessie, Meowth, 
and I had dressing up as superheroes and kicking W. Shrubb out of office a 
couple of months ago...and what a nice surprise it was when we found out that 
Celes and Terra had chronicled our adventure in a best-selling comic series. It 
was nice to know that their two friends had become the producers of a hit sitcom 
in the wake of those events. 
"The point is, you have to remember that you can't count on fortune telling to 
predict your whole life," Jessie continued. "I said it last night, and I'll say 
it again -- you're smarter than that, James. And no matter what your horoscope 
may say, you're strong enough to defy it and make your own destiny." 
I smiled at her. "You're right, Jess! It's for entertainment purposes only!" 
"Den whatta we waitin' for? Let's get dat book!" Meowth exclaimed. 
Jessie grinned and pulled the book out of my backpack. Then, she began to flip 
through the pages. "First, we'll look up my birthday!" she said. "Here it is -- 
December 13th! It says...." Suddenly, her face lit up. 
My smile grew even wider. It was obviously something good. "What does it say, 
Jess?" I asked. 
"Ah! I'm a Ninetales!" she cheered. "It says here that the Ninetales-type has a 
propensity for grace and physical beauty. And just like a real Ninetales, the 
Ninetales-type also has a keen intellect and a fiery temper!" 
Meowth folded his arms across his chest and smiled. "Dat sure sounds like you, 
Jess!" 
Jessie blushed. "I knew it! I'm an elegant Ninetales, after all! This is even 
better than Eevee!" 
I put an arm around Jessie's shoulders and gave her a kiss. Then, I looked at 
her horoscope and read a little more of it. "This also says that in matters of 
romance, the Ninetales-type's fiery nature is best matched by a cool ice or 
water sign." 
Jessie smiled again and returned my embrace. "Well, Magikarp is a 
water-type...and we're a perfect match! I guess that part is right, too!" 
"Maybe there's something to it, after all," I said. 
She nodded. "But it's still not completely accurate -- let's look at your 
horoscope again!" 
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. "Okay." 
"What page was your birthday on, James?" 
"Page 50." 
"Alrighty, then!" 
Here goes nothing.... I said to myself as I listened to Jessie flipping through 
the pages again. 
"Ah, here it is! Page 50. It says...uh...." 
I opened my eyes again. "What does it say, Jess?" 
Jessie gave me a quizzical look. "James, how much of this did you actually look 
at?" she asked. 
I felt my throat tightening. What was wrong?! "Well...I looked up my birthday, 
just like in the other book, and saw that my sign was Magikarp, and skimmed over 
some of the horoscope. Why do you ask?" 
"Well, you obviously didn't look closely enough." 
"What do you mean?" 
Jessie handed the book to me and pointed to the top of the page. "Well, it says 
Magikarp is the sign for this birthday, but this isn't your birthday, James!" 
I looked more closely at the birthdate printed at the top of the page. Jessie 
was right -- I'd been looking at January 24th instead of January 29th! I was on 
the wrong page! 
Meowth gave me a playful whack on the head. "How could ya get yer own birthday 
wrong, ya numb-skull?!" 
"I'd like to know the answer to that one, myself," said Jessie. 
"Well, I just turned to the same page that my birthday was on in the other 
book," I explained. "The days of the year are always in the same order, 
regardless of the zodiac. And since my birthday was on page 50 in the fake book, 
I just assumed it'd be on that page in the real one, too. I guess I should've 
looked closer, huh?" 
"Damn right!" said Meowth. "You should never assume anythin', Jimbo...cuz when 
ya assume, ya make an ass outta you and me!" 
I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. "I feel like such an idiot...." 
Jessie put an arm around my shoulders. "Don't," she said. "It's not your fault 
you know how to count -- it's Butch and Cassidy's for doing such a crappy 
copying job and getting the dates all out of order! I can't believe how stupid 
they are!" 
I smiled weakly. "I know...but it was still pretty foolish of me to not even 
look at the date and just assume my birthday was on the same page...." 
Jessie cupped my chin in her hand and gave me a kiss. "Don't worry about it. 
It's not important." 
"I guess...." 
"Hey! Ya know what dis means?!" Meowth interjected. 
Jessie and I looked down at him. 
"Since James was lookin' at the wrong page dis whole time, it means he ain't a 
Magikarp!" 
Jessie grinned. "That's right!" 
I suddenly felt myself becoming nervous again. "Well, if I'm not a Magikarp, 
then what am I?" 
"Let's just find out!" Jessie said as she turned to my real birthday...which was 
on page 60 in this book. 
I closed my eyes and crossed my fingers. Oh, god! Please don't let it be 
something like Mr. Mime or Muk.... 
"Here we are -- January 29th! It says...." Jessie's voice trailed off for a 
moment, and she gasped. "Oh, my!" 
Oh, shit! 
Jessie's eyes sparkled as she looked at me, and she began to blush again. 
"James...I think you're going to like this!" 
Meowth jumped onto her shoulder to get a better look at the book, and he gasped, 
too. "Holy crap! Dat's even better den Moltres...and it makes more sense, too!" 
I felt a wave of relief wash over me -- it was something good, after all! But 
what was it?! 
Jessie handed the book to me. "Check it out!" 
I looked at the birthdate again to confirm that I was on the right page this 
time, and sure enough it was January 29th. And just below my birthdate was a 
picture of.... 
"Articuno?!" 
Jessie and Meowth smiled at me. 
"I'm an Articuno-type?!" 
They nodded. 
"Read it!" Meowth exclaimed. 
"Yeah! See what it says, James!" said Jessie. 
I smiled back at them and read the book's description of my sign. "It says, 
Great powers masked by a gentle disposition and a mild temperament. No matter 
what difficulties befall them, the Articuno-type will always prevail in the end 
and soar to new heights! What the?! This is kind of like what the other book 
said about Moltres!" 
Jessie smirked. "What did Botch and Crappidy do? Get their Legendary Birds 
confused and put the Articuno horoscope under Moltres?" 
Meowth facefaulted. "Dey prolly did. Dose morons...." 
"Well, that would certainly explain why the fake book managed to get my 
horoscope right," I remarked. 
Meowth nodded. 
Jessie blushed again. "Well, it's definitely the right horoscope this time. Now 
see what it says about love and romance!" 
I looked back at the book and smiled. "It says that the Articuno-type's cool 
demeanor is best matched by a passionate fire sign!" 
She clapped her hands. "That's me -- a fiery, passionate Ninetales! And Articuno 
is an ice sign! We really are a perfect match!" 
Meowth laughed. "Dat book is dead-on about yer personalities and yer love-life! 
Maybe dere really is more ta dis fortune tellin' den we thought...." 
"Maybe," I said. "But I'm not going to get carried away with it again...no 
matter how accurate the book is." 
"Good!" he sighed. "Cuz after what James the Moltres put us through yesterday, I 
don't think I could handle a repeat performance from James the Articuno! And I 
don't think poor Jess could handle it either -- you'd prolly make the rest of 
her underwears explode if ya pulled anythin' like dat again!" 
"That's enough, Meowth!" Jessie cried. 
I snickered and put my arms around Jessie's waist. "You were right, though," I 
said to him. "She didn't have any panties on last night!" 
Jessie gasped. "Oh, don't YOU start now!" she snapped, pushing me away. 
Meowth fell to the floor and began to laugh hysterically. 
Jessie buried her face in her hands. 
"I'm sorry, honey," I said as I pulled her into another embrace. "You know we're 
only teasing." 
She looked up at me and returned my embrace. "Yeah." Then, whispering into my 
ear, "But I think you really would -- I still can't get over how sexy you were 
yesterday!" 
I leaned down and gave her a kiss on the forehead. 
"But Moltres, Magikarp, Articuno...I don't care what that book says about you," 
she continued. "It doesn't change the fact that you're James -- that you're 
strong, and sweet, and smart, and sexy...and that I love you with all my heart!" 

I felt my heart skip a beat when she said this. "And I don't care whether you're 
an Eevee or a Ninetales -- it doesn't change how wonderful you are or how much I 
love you either!" 
Jessie hugged me more tightly than ever and rested her head on my shoulder. 
"Thanks, James." 
"It's cool that our horoscopes turned out to be good after all," I told her. 
"But like you said -- it's just for fun." 
"James?" 
"Yeah?" 
"You know what else would be fun?" 
"What?" 
Jessie smiled slyly at me. "Well...I never got the chance to make you that hot 
Moltres outfit yesterday. So, why don't I make you an Articuno outfit today?" 
My heart skipped another beat at the thought of impressing Jessie all over again 
in a super-sexy Articuno costume. "Sounds great!" 
"....And a Ninetales outfit for myself!" she continued. 
I closed my eyes and smiled as I pictured Jessie in a skin-tight Ninetales 
costume that showed off every curve of her beautiful form. "Definitely!" 
Jessie grinned and kissed my now burning cheek. "Then I'll get right on it!" she 
exclaimed. "I can hardly wait!" 
You and me both! I thought as I watched her get out her sewing kit. 
@->->- 
While Jessie was busy making our new costumes, I decided to kill some time by 
replying to Misty's e-mail. I told her that we accepted her apology for the way 
she'd treated us and thanked her for offering to look up our horoscopes in the 
real book. Then, I told her about how Jessie had found a copy of the real book 
as well and that we'd already read our horoscopes and found out that we were 
Ninetales and Articuno. 
Once I'd sent the message, Meowth got out the book again and began leafing 
through it. "Hey, I got an idea!" he said. 
"Yeah?" I asked. 
The cat grinned. "Well, ya know how Misty looked up some of her friends' 
birthdays, just for fun?" 
Jessie and I nodded. "Mmm, hmmm?" 
"Why don't we do the same?" he suggested. "Ya know, look up some people we know 
and see what the book has ta say about 'em!" 
"That sounds like a great idea, Meowth!" said Jessie. 
"Yeah!" I agreed. "Who should we look up first?" 
"Howzabout the boss?" he replied. 
We nodded again. 
Jessie giggled. "I bet the boss is something really scary, like a Gengar!" 
"Or a Kabutops!" I mused. 
Meowth frowned when he found the page that Giovanni's birthday was on. "It sez 
here dat he's a Persian." 
Jessie and I did a double-take. "A Persian?!" 
"It sez dat Persian-types are ambitious perfectionists...and dere aloof demeanor 
hides a sensitive nature," he continued. 
"The boss? Sensitive?" Jessie queried. "Well, if he does have a sensitive side, 
I guess he really does do a good job of hiding it!" 
I nodded. "Yeah, that sounds like him, all right." 
Meowth sighed. "No wonder he replaced me with dat Persian. I guess dis means I 
ain't got a chance of ever bein' the top cat again...." 
"Don't worry about it, Meowth," Jessie said as she reached over and patted him 
on the head. 
I winked and gave him a thumbs-up. "You'll always be top cat to us!" 
This made him smile once more. "Thanks, guys." 
"Okay, enough of this! Look up somebody else now, Meowth!" Jessie told him. 
Meowth nodded and turned the pages again. "Alright. I'll look up Mondo...." 
After a couple minutes of searching, he found Mondo's birthday and began to 
read. "It sez dat he's a Tauros! The Tauros-type has a hyperactive nature, but 
dey're very reliable and hard-workin'." 
"Hmmm...sounds like that book is right about Mondo, too," I remarked. 
"Yeah! He's kind of hyper, but he's a good kid," Jessie agreed. 
Meowth laughed. "Man, dis really is fun! Who should I look up next?" 
Jessie smiled. "Look up my momma. Her birthday was December 9th." 
Meowth returned her smile and flipped through the pages again. "Here it is -- 
December 9th. It sez Miyamoto was an Arbok." 
Jessie raised an eyebrow. 
"The Arbok-type has an intense nature and a fierce temperament, but dey're 
extremely gentle and lovin' with family and dose whom dey consider dere 
friends," he read. "From everythin' ya told us about yer mom, dat sounds right, 
too." 
She nodded and closed her eyes. "It is -- momma was tough as nails, but she was 
still the sweetest woman. No wonder Arbok is so special to me...." 
I hugged Jessie and held her to me as a tear rolled down her cheek. "It's okay, 
sweetheart," I whispered. Then to Meowth, I said, "Look up my grand-papa. His 
birthday was February 15th." 
"February 15th, huh?" he said. "It sez dat Jim Morgan was a Growlithe." 
I smiled. 
"The Growlithe-type is an excellent provider and has a carin' personality. And 
just like a real Growlithe, dey'll fight tooth-and-nail ta protect dere loved 
ones." 
"That was grand-papa, all right," I whispered. Now it was my turn to cry. 
"He loved you so much, James," Jessie whispered as she brushed my tears away. 
"Maybe that's why Growly is so important to you." 
"Maybe," I muttered. 
Meowth sniffled and rubbed at his eyes, which were filling with tears as well. 
"Okay, dis is gettin' depressin'. Let's look up somebody else now. Somebody 
like...I dunno...the Black Arachnid. What was his birthday, Jess?" 
Jessie grinned. "The Black Arachnid was born on September 5, 1847!" she proudly 
announced. 
"Quite the history buff, aren't you?" I said as I gently nudged her in the ribs. 

"When it comes to the Black Arachnid? Yes!" came her reply. 
Meowth chuckled and flipped through the pages once again. When he got to 
September 5th, his face lit up. "Sweet! It sez dat ol' Black Ac was a Meowth!" 
Jessie and I exchanged looks. 
"The Meowth-type has a sarcastic tongue, a wit as sharp as a cat's claws, and a 
heart as gold as the charm on a real Meowth's head! Meowth-types are also 
extremely lucky in matters of money," he said. "Awww! Now dat's a great 
horoscope!" 
"It sure is," I agreed. 
"The Black Arachnid was great...just like a real Meowth!" Jessie exclaimed. With 
that, she scooped Meowth into her arms and gave him a kiss on his golden charm. 
Meowth blushed and began to purr. 
I reached over and scratched behind his ears, and his purring grew even louder. 
After cuddling Meowth for a couple of minutes, Jessie set him down and resumed 
her sewing. She'd finished the bodysuits of our two outfits, and now she was 
adding the details. 
Since it looked like it was going to be at least another hour before the 
costumes were ready, Meowth picked up the book again and read some more 
horoscopes. We found out that my bitch ex-fiance, Jessiebelle, is a 
Vileplume-type -- beautiful, but extremely vain and domineering with a penchant 
for violence. (I shuddered at how accurate that one was...and I agreed with all 
of it except the "beautiful" part. Jessiebelle may look like my beautiful Jessie 
on the surface, but beneath that facade is evil and cruelty...and that makes her 
ugly, no matter what she looks like. Jessiebelle will always be a monster in my 
eyes.) We also found out that Cassidy is a Jynx-type and that Butch is a 
Grimer-type. 
Meowth laughed when he read this. "No wonder dose two made the fake book -- dey 
was prolly so embarrassed by dere real signs dat dey had ta go and screw with 
everybody else's!" 
I snickered. "Yeah! That Cassidy is creepy and ugly...just like a real Jynx!" 
"And Butch is pretty damned ugly, too -- he even has that hideous Grimer voice!" 
Jessie added. 
Now all three of us were laughing. 
And that's how we spent the rest of the afternoon -- sitting together on the bed 
and looking up the signs of various friends, foes, and fellow Rockets. And 
amazingly enough, all of the horoscopes turned out to be pretty accurate. 
I would have scoffed at the notion of fortune telling before, but now I wasn't 
so sure. With everything I'd seen over the past couple of days and everything 
that book said, was it really nothing more than coincidence? I couldn't help but 
wonder. 
@->->- 
It was almost dark by the time Jessie finished our costumes. Normally it takes 
her a couple of days to make something really spectacular, but she'd worked fast 
today. She always does when she's truly inspired. 
I wasn't disappointed when I tried my Articuno costume on either -- the bodysuit 
of this one was even more form-fitting than my Moltres outfit, showing off every 
muscle and sinew of my body and leaving nothing to the imagination. And unlike 
my Moltres outfit, this one didn't have a big, poofy collar. Instead, my chest 
was left bare, exposing the rope-breaking pecs that Jessie loved so much. The 
rest of the costume was exquisite as well. A trail of ice-blue feathers accented 
the sleeves of my top, creating a pair of magnificent wings, and a set of 
matching feathers crowned my head. A long, luxurious tail cascaded from the back 
of my pants. The cool blue of the spandex bodysuit and soft feathers matched 
well with the lavender of my hair and the green of my eyes, creating a chilling 
effect. 
This new costume wasn't nearly as bird-like as the Moltres one had been -- 
rather, it was designed to show off and accentuate my manhood. But as I admired 
my reflection in the bathroom mirror, there was no denying it -- my soul was the 
soul of a beautiful, majestic Articuno! 
"That Jessie sure does good work!" I said to myself. 
As I closed my eyes and fantasized about Jessie enjoying the view my costume 
gave her, I suddenly heard a knock on the bathroom door. "Hey, James, are you 
almost ready?!" she called to me. "I want to see how it turned out!" 
I opened my eyes again and smiled at my reflection. Why should I stand here and 
fantasize when I can have the real thing?! "Coming!" I replied. 
Jessie grinned as I opened the door and stepped into the room. 
"I am Articuno! Hear me roar!" I announced as I spread my wings and struck a 
pose. "How do I look?" 
Meowth's eyes widened. "Holy shit! Bulgerific don't even BEGIN ta describe dat 
thing!" 
Jessie, meanwhile, had gone weak in the knees. "Oh, my god!" she whispered as 
she placed her hand over her heart and began to take rapid, fluttery breaths. 
I smiled. "I guess that means she likes it!" 
Meowth smirked. "Maybe it's a good thing she didn't get ta design yer Moltres 
outfit -- ya had her hot and bothered enough as it was! If she'd a seen ya in 
somethin' like dis yesterday...." 
"Oh, my god!" Jessie whispered again. "James, you're gorgeous!" 
My smile became a grin as I came to Jessie's side and put my arms around her. 
"Thanks!" 
She melted into my embrace and hugged back. "This is kind of what I had in mind 
for your other costume, too. Meowth is right -- maybe it's a good thing I didn't 
get the chance to make it...." 
"Yeah. I don't think I'd have wanted to run around town in something so 
revealing," I agreed. "This is just for you, baby!" 
Jessie's face flushed as she began to cover my face, neck and chest with kisses. 

I closed my eyes and sighed contentedly. Her lips felt so soft and warm on my 
skin, and her touch made me burn with desire. 
As Jessie held me in her arms and kissed me, I began to fantasize about what I 
was going to do to her once she got me out of my costume. But then something 
occurred to me -- Jessie still hadn't put on her costume! I didn't really need 
her to wear it -- I was already hot for her as it was...but she'd put as much 
work into her Ninetales outfit as she had my Articuno outfit, and I wanted to 
see how she looked in it! 
"Jess?" I muttered. 
"Hmmm?" 
"Aren't you going to try on your costume?" 
Jessie kissed my chest a couple more times before looking up at me. Then, she 
smiled. "Oh, yeah! I almost forgot!" 
I chuckled. "Now it's your turn to show off for me!" 
She winked at me as she pulled herself from my arms and headed into the bathroom 
with her own costume. 
Meowth snickered again. "Heh. Dis should be good!" 
I could feel my cheeks growing hot. "Definitely!" 
A couple of minutes later, Jessie emerged from the bathroom, wearing her 
Ninetales costume...and it was nothing short of amazing! The bodysuit was 
shimmering gold and every bit as snug as my own, showing off every inch of her 
body...especially the parts I liked the best! The plunging neckline was trimmed 
with faux fur, accentuating her ample cleavage beautifully, and nine elegant 
tails made of the same faux fur swept out from the back of the suit, creating a 
magnificent train. A golden pair of faux fox ears mounted on a little headband 
provided the finishing touch. 
Jessie leaned her head back and sighed as she brought one of her legs up and 
rested her foot on the door frame. Then, she placed her hands on her shoulders 
and slowly moved them down her breasts, her waist, her hips, and finally her 
thighs. 
My heart fluttered as I watched Jessie's hands moving along her body, and I 
found myself wishing that my hands were doing the same. I could tell from the 
smile that crossed her lips that she was thinking the same thing. 
Jessie looked over at me and puckered her lips, blowing me a kiss. "Like what 
you see?" she asked. 
I grinned and swept her into my arms once more. "Hello, foxy lady!" I said. 
Jessie giggled and put her arms around my shoulders. "I take it that's a yes!" 
"You got that right," I replied as I cupped her breasts in my hands and caressed 
her body the way she'd done only moments before. 
"Oh, James!" she gasped. Then, she ran her fingers down my chest and stomach 
until her hands were resting on my crotch. 
My fluttering heart began to race. "Oh, Jessie!" I cried. 
"Uh...dis is gonna be gettin' kinky in a few minutes, ain't it?" said Meowth. 
But I couldn't answer him -- Jessie had started to undo my pants and was now 
reaching inside. All I could do was moan with pleasure. 
"Yeah. Dat's my cue ta exit," I heard him say. 
Once we were alone, Jessie pressed herself against me and ran her fingers 
through my hair. "You may be an ice sign, James, but you can light my fire any 
time!" 
"Oh, I will! Trust me!" I replied as I scooped her into my arms and carried her 
to the bed. 
@->->- 
I'll admit, wearing those Articuno and Ninetales costumes and showing off for 
each other was fun, but getting each other out of those costumes was even 
better! Just like the night before last, Jessie purred in my arms as we made 
love, and every time we finished, she pounced on me, and we'd start again. 
And as much as I enjoyed the feeling of her silky smooth skin pressed against my 
own, her long, deliacte fingers running through my hair, her sweet lips kissing 
me, and the warm, velvety softness inside of her body, I enjoyed the simple gaze 
of adoration in her sapphire eyes and the low moans of ecstasy she made even 
more. As good as Jessie makes me feel when we share our bodies, the knowledge 
that I'm giving her pleasure...that I'm what she wants, makes me feel even 
better. I love her so much, and knowing that she loves me too is the best 
feeling in the world! 
When our lovemaking finally ended a few hours later, the two of us laid together 
in each other's arms and cuddled. I wrapped my arms around Jessie's waist and 
held her to me as I stroked her long mane of crimson hair, and she rested her 
head on my shoulder and traced patterns on my chest with the tip of her finger. 
"James?" Jessie muttered at length. 
"Hmmm?" I asked as I buried my face in her soft, fragrant hair and planted a 
kiss atop her head. 
She looked up at me and smiled. "I'm glad you're feeling better about all this 
fortune telling stuff now...but I need to ask you something...." 
"What is it?" 
"Well," she began. "Do you think...how do I put this? Do you think...if that 
book said we had bad signs, or that we were incompatible...." 
I knew where her question was leading, so I placed a finger to her lips and 
silenced her. "Jessie, you're the one who told me that we couldn't take it 
seriously...that it's just for fun!" I told her. 
"I know," she replied. "But after seeing how accurate it was about...everything, 
well, I'm not so sure anymore. It's like...I don't know what to believe...." 
"I feel the same way," I admitted. "Yesterday morning, I was a complete 
skeptic...then I became a complete believer...and now...now...I guess I'm kind 
of in the middle...." 
"Exactly," she said. "So what does that mean?" 
I closed my eyes and thought for a moment. "Maybe it just means that we have to 
take this for what it is -- a chance to learn...to grow," I replied in all 
honesty. "That book may have been right about a lot of things, Jessie, but you 
were right, too. Maybe there is no real right or wrong about this one -- just 
different perspectives." 
Jessie smiled at me again and looked out the window at the starry night sky. "I 
think...I think that maybe the stars hold more powers than we thought. We're 
just tiny little specks in an infinite universe, James. There has to be 
something out there. Something greater than you...or I can even imagine...." 
"Perhaps," I said, holding her to me once again. "But no matter what might be 
out there, it doesn't change the fact that when all is said and done, the only 
ones who can truly control our destiny are ourselves. There probably are greater 
forces at work in the universe, but I think they're just there to guide us...not 
to control us." 
Jessie cuddled into me and nodded. "Yeah," she sighed. "I think I told you about 
this once before -- that I like to believe that my momma's spirit is always with 
me...watching over me...guiding me...." 
"You did tell me," I said. "And that's exactly what I mean. I like to think the 
same thing about my grand-papa -- that he's always with me. I know that thinking 
about him and what he would've done really helped me put things in perspective 
last night." 
"Who knows? Maybe he really was with you!" Jessie said as she reached up and 
caressed my cheek. 
"Yeah! If there's one thing I've learned from all of this, it's that there's 
more mysteries in the universe than the human mind can comprehend," I continued. 
"All I really know for sure is that as long as I have you and Meowth, I'll be 
happy -- you guys are the most important part of my life...my destiny." 
Jessie leaned closer and kissed me. "As long as we're together, we're destined 
for greatness, James...no matter what the stars may say!" 
I returned Jessie's kiss and took her hands in my own, twining our fingers. "I 
love you," I whispered. 
"I love you, too," she whispered back. 
The two of us smiled at each other once again and rested our foreheads together. 
And as we drifted into peaceful repose, I knew in my heart that Jessie and I 
were right -- there were greater forces at work in the universe than either of 
us could comprehend...and that in the end, our hard work and determination would 
overcome any obstacle fate put in our way. We were destined for a white 
tomorrow, and someday we'd reach it. And in the meantime, the memories of our 
loved ones would guide and protect us, and the love between me and Jessie would 
continue to grow. 
This turned out to be a pretty good couple of days! I said to myself. I got my 
mojo back, the fair damsel loves me more than ever...and once again, I'm the 
master of my own destiny! Never again will James the Articuno allow a measly 
book...or anything else to take that away from him.... 
....And it certainly doesn't hurt to have a cool sign on top of all that! 
The End
Special thanks to Snow for the gorgeous illustration of our heroes in their 
Articuno and Ninetales costumes! *.* Another special thanks to Pokemon All for 
the adorable illustration of Articuno and Ninetales in love! ^_^ And yet another 
special thanks to Jupiter for the sweet illustration of James giving Jessie a 
cooking lesson! ^.^ 
@->->- 
Back to the Library 
@->->- 

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