All right, I've gotten over a real writer's block to finish this. I should say this: I'm still waiting for a SM lemon that wasn't badly-written for a reason. z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-­z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-­z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z MAGIC WARRIOR THEATER 3000 Episode 304: "Voices" Lemon MSTed by Pika-Screw (cubecut...@despammed.com) Disclaimers: Sailor Moon is property of Naoko-sama (Naoko Takeuchi), Kodansha, TOEI Animation, DiC for Classic and R seasons in the US, and CWI/Optimum for the S and SuperS seasons. Mystery Science Theater 3000 was the brainchild of Joel Hodgson, and owned by Best Brains, Inc. Magic: the Gathering is the creation of Richard Garfield, and is distributed by Wizards of the Coast, a division of Hasbro. The Magic Warriors, Magic Warrior Theater 3000, and the likenesses of the Warriors are property of me. All other things mentioned are property of their respective owners. "Revelations: True love at last" is property of Sara Jaye, and for the sake of our missing sanity, she can have it. Sara, remember - you sent this to me at least twice. I mean you no true harm - you're a good kid. This is yet another lemon MSTing (I'm an Iron Man!), and although I've toned down the Warriors, it's not really suitable for the weak of intestine or minors. There's a Back button on your toolbar... if you can't handle this, use it. Now that that's out of the way, it's time to hit Start and play this one up! (WAYNE CAMPBELL: Game on! GARTH ALGAR: Yeah, game on.) Best Brains, Inc., and Wizards of the Coast present... A ScruYuTu MSTing... Love Theme from Magic Warrior Theater 3000 (obviously to the tune of "Love Theme from Mystery Science Theater 3000") In the not-too-distant future, Way down in Deep 13, Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank Were hatching an evil scheme. They caught a kid by the name of Hood (that's me) A Magic Warrior for the side of Good, Their experiment needed a good test case, So they signed up with Jerry Falwell And shot him into space! (Get me down!!) We'll send him cheesy fanfics, The worst we can find, (la-la-la) He'll have to sit and read them all, And we'll monitor his mind. (la-la-la) Now keep in mind Damian can't control where the fanfics begin or end, (la-la-la) He'll try to keep his sanity With the help of his Warrior friends. *Warrior Roll Call* Stephen! (Death becomes you.) Ricky! (Flame on!) David! (Walk toward the light...) Louuuuuuuuuuie! (It's insane.) If you're wondering how he eats and breathes, And other science facts (la-la-la) Then repeat to yourself, "It's just a show, I should really just relax," For Magic Warrior Theater 3000! (Bridge. Only Ricky is present. He plays a Game Boy Advance, so kindly given to him by Nintendo for the plugs that his boss's [author's note: namely, me] company has been giving.) RICKY: Ah, dammit. Stupid Wart and his stupid bubble-spewing... Oop, camera's on! Uh, welcome back to the Satellite of Magic. I'm Ricky, one of the Magic Warriors. I know David, Stephen, and Louie are in the Holographic Hellraisers' Room, playing some simulation. I just don't know where Damian is. Ah, well, he can take care of himself. (Lower decks. Damian is alone, holding only a flashlight. He wanders about in a room that is lit only by some old computer monitors, flickering green and gray and amber.) DAMIAN: (very low voice) Hello there. I'm down here, trying to find out why the ship still stays in orbit while we're in the theater. I know that Dr. F doesn't have external controls for it, since that would be too risky. I think there may be a sentient computer on board. (A voice speaks from the background. As it speaks, two of the computer monitors light up like eyes. The voice sounds a lot like Kelsey Grammer.) VOICE: You are correct, captain Hood. I am computer unit MV-749X3, of the Magic Voice series. (Damian turns around and sees the monitors staring him down.) DAMIAN: Eep. VOICE: Do not be afraid. I am a helpful system. I exist to ensure the survival of High Commander Forrester's subordinates. DAMIAN: ...High Commander Forrester's subordinates? VOICE: Yes. I know of you all. You are Captain Hood, of the Satellite of Love 4, the fourth of the fleet. You and your shipmates prefer to be called "Magic Warriors". Would you prefer I call you that? DAMIAN: (In absolute shock) Uh... y-y-yes... VOICE: Very well. Also, Magic Voice 749X3 is now active all over the ship, awaiting commands. DAMIAN: We figured that one out on our own. We just didn't know you could talk. Say, what's your name again? VOICE: I am Magic Voice system MV-749X3. DAMIAN: Well, we need a more accessible name for you. How does the name "Merlin" sound? After all, you can really work some magic with this ship, since you keep it going. VOICE: Merlin. Merlin. MV-749X3 is now known as "Merlin". DAMIAN: Right. So, Merlin, think you can turn on the lights down here? The batteries in this flashlight are dying. MERLIN: Yes, cpatain. (The lights all turn on, revealing everything we saw - nothing.) DAMIAN: Hm, not much better... ah, well. I'll just get back to the bridge. (Holographic Hellraisers' Room. Stephen, David, and Louie are racing in an F-1 race. They are in first, second, and third, respectively. They whip around a corner at blazing speed. The competition is left in the dust. Suddenly, Stephen takes a turn too loosely, and slams nosefirst into the wall on a 90-degree turn. His car's front wing flies off and lands in David's car.) DAVID: Whoa, heads up! (hits the brakes) STEPHEN: (angrily) Damn brakes! (slams down the gas, thus causing the car to peel out of its spot in reverse) I'm gonna win, you two... LOUIE: (passes both of the others, and heads into the home stretch) So long, suckers! (The other two give chase. David and Stephen, now in second and third, gain on Louie... but they're too late. Louie follows the inside wall as he takes his victory lap.) LOUIE: Ah, it's good to be number one. DAVID: Crap. STEPHEN: Next race, I'll leave you both eating my rubber while I burn dust! LOUIE: I think what you mean is, you'll have us eating dust while you burn rubber. STEPHEN: Whatever. End program. (The simulation ends, leaving forest-green walls. The three Warriors leave.) (Bridge. All the Warriors are back in one spot.) RICKY: I was wondering where you were, Hood! DAMIAN: I was just investigating more of the ship. I put our resident Magic Voice into full activation, and I even named him Merlin! MERLIN: That is correct. DAVID: Whoa. What does he do? MERLIN: I keep the ship under control during all experiments authorized by High Commander Forrester. I also warn of approaching vessels, commercial interruptions, and messages. (The yellow light flashes.) MERLIN: Commercial sign in T-minus 10 seconds. DAMIAN: (hits the light) We'll be right back. LOUIE: High Commander Forrester? What is this, Star Trek? (Commercials: One for Super Mario Advance - it's SMB2 [the Japanese call it Doki Doki Panic], it's Mario Bros., it's BOTH in one game! One for Miss Cleo and her Gods-be-damned tarot cards. One for classic Star Trek on Sci-Fi. One for DirecTV's information channels.) (The show fades back in. The Warriors are standing around.) LOUIE: Show's back, so he should call in 3, 2, 1... (Sure enough, the red MADs light flashes.) RICKY: You're good. So, whaddya want, O Keeper of the Crap? (He hits the light.) (Deep 13. Dr. F is overlooking something that looks like a bill. Usagi is in the background, being instructed in lamaze exercises.) DR. F: (muttering) At least I have Blue Cross... (normal) Oh, hello there, Flak Five. I've just been going over the medical bills for our dear little friends back there. DAVID: Friends? STEPHEN: Usagi and Neo-Frank. He has been in there 6 months, you know. DAMIAN: Yeah, I was born that early, and I survived. INSTRUCTOR: And breeeeeeathe... USAGI: (breathes out slowly) Boy, if it were only this easy... DR. F: Anyway, there'll be no Invention Exchange this time, as I have no invention. So, we'll just skip right to the experiment. Your tort - er, experiment today is a nice little piece by someone named "Sara Jaye". I assume you all know her. It's a Sailor Moon lemon called "Revelations: True love at last". (Damian swears a few times under his breath, muttering something along the lines of "It's one of these".) What was that?! DAMIAN: I didn't say anything. DR. F: Ah, good. Into the theater with you! (On the SOM, lights and klaxons go off and the satellite rumbles.) DAMIAN: Ready to really hold down the ship, Merlin? MERLIN: Ready, Captain. DAMIAN: Then let's go, because WE'VE GOT CRAP SIGN! (They run to the theater.) (Door sequence: Dog Bone first, then... 6: A camera lens slides open. 5: A huge computer mainframe lowers, but only after you trigger a nearby computer console. 4: You see a barred door. It opens once you lift a pot and find a switch. 3: You see a normal door. You reach to open it, but it slides open due to a Severnaya guard on the other side. You take out your Klobb and fill him with lead. 2: A drawbridge. You step on the switch to lower it, but it rises after you step off. You draw a grunt to the switch, then kill it and rush across. 1: Only a rusty old door stands between you and the theater. You open it, only to find dataDyne, NSA, and Skedar grunts all gunning for you. You grab your Cyclones, load them, and start ventilating. Now, at long last...) (Theater. The Warriors scramble to sit down, ending up in this order: Ricky, David, Damian, Stephen, Louie.) DAVID: I hope he can keep things running smoothly. DAMIAN: Hey, he's done it before, he can do it now. >"Revelations: True love at last" > by Sara Jaye DAMIAN: Why does that name ring a bell? STEPHEN: Uh, maybe we owe her money? > Okay, first off, I know what you're thinking. RICKY: And it's sick. >If the title of this lemon is that cheesy, the lemon must be horrible. And you're right. STEPHEN: Is this a trend, this "purposely badly-written lemon" thing? LOUIE: I pray it isn't... >This is a badly written, cheesy, cliché-ridden, sappy lemon. And...I wrote it this way on >purpose! DAVID: (author) Actually, I was hoping to not write it this way, but I just couldn't help myself. > Yes, I wrote an intentionally bad lemon. Why, you ask? LOUIE: To annoy the hell out of us, right? >Well, like any hentai, I've read my share of poorly-written lemons, and written a few of them >myself. Well, I wouldn't say that my lemons were bad, exactly (Except for the 2-minute orgies, >but those don't count. :P), but when I look back at some of my earlier works, such as "Ash and >Misty get it on" or "One night in a forest", I realize just what a novice I was... DAMIAN: Was? STEPHEN: Hey, we all improve over time. That's why this series is still going. >*shrugs* Ah, well. I'm straying here. ^^; RICKY: (Sophia Petrillo) But I digress... > Anyway, this lemon was actually inspired by an untitled Tenchi lemon. I only read the >MSTed version, but the lemon itself was sappy, full of typos and grammatical errors, and just... STEPHEN: Utter crap? >well, bad! This lemon won't have countless typos and grammatical errors, though. I can't bring >myself to sink that low. :P DAVID: And yet you bring yourself to use that emoticon. LOUIE: Now, now, let's not be too hard on her. She has seen the light, after all. (Damian smiles.) RICKY: ...what? DAMIAN: Did that light say, "Vacancy"? (The others groan, then whap Damian upside the noggin.) >However, it does have one other thing that's common in bad lemons-a mismatched romance. In this >case, it happens to be Zoicite and Jedite. LOUIE: Waaait, didn't we see this matchup during the first experiment after we got out this far? RICKY: Briefly, yes. LOUIE: (sort of whiny) Well, then, why do we have to see it again? >Now, I'm not a fan of Z&J romance, mind you. I merely came up with an only-in-fanfiction theory >that Jedite is in love with Zoicite, but since Zoicite and Malachite belong together, he never >tries to win her. DAMIAN: Yeah, he always goes for second place. >And of course, this is a dub-only theory, unless one believes Jadeite to be bisexual in the >original. ^^;; *blinks* Damn, I strayed again. Well, before I forget what I'm writing here, RICKY: Please try to... >I will leave you with one final note: STEPHEN: (author) So help me, I'll make you all insane! (Mandark, laughing) Ha ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha, ha ha ha! >Yes, I used the dub names. And unlike in my other dub fanfic/lemon ideas, I base this thing from >the actual DiC dub-no 'fandubbing' for me this time. (You can tell I'm really going for broke >here. :P) DAMIAN: Broke nothing - those tapes can cost up to $20 apiece! > Well, that's it for this intro/disclaimer. Now, on with the show! DAVID: (singing) This is the Psycho Circus / and I say welcome to the show! >[Disclaimers: Sailor Moon is not mine, it is the property of Naoko Takeuchi, Toei, and DiC. LOUIE: And- DAMIAN: Let the people read the disclaimers themselves. >This story is written for entertainment purposes only, please do not sue me. DAMIAN: They won't, thank God. They'll sue US, though... >This story contains strong language and adult content. It should not be read by those under 18 RICKY: Or those with high blood pressure, impotence, paranoia, coma, asthma, diabetes, nervous tic, or anyone taking an MAO inhibitor. >and/or those who are offended by such things. If you do not like this kind of thing, do not read >this and then bitch that you were offended, or there will be hell to pay. STEPHEN: Oh, there already is... >But if you do enjoy this stuff and/or are 18 and older, enjoy! DAVID: Enjoy Coca-Cola(TM). RICKY: How are you supposed to say that? > ~ LOUIE: It's Pidgit's flying carpet! > It was a dark, quiet night in the Negaverse. Everyone was asleep except for Zoicite. DAMIAN: (Zoicite) Ah, that Space Ghost... I just love how he zaps Zorak when he acts up... >She was lying awake in bed thinking about something. RICKY: (Zoicite) Man, I am soooooo baked. >Or rather, someone. Sighing, she looked over at Malachite, who was out like a light next to >her, and began to wonder about their love. She knew that they cared deeply for each other and >had always been close. STEPHEN: Especially when Nephrite Krazy Glued them together. >But at times, like right now, she wondered if it was true love. 'Of course it is,' she reminded >herself, almost scoldingly. Sure, Malachite was rather cold to her at times, and flirted with >other girls, (Damian clears his throat rather loudly.) DAVID: She went over this, you pea-brained chisel monkey. >but even so, she knew he loved her...or at least cared for her. But still...she felt as if there >was something missing. LOUIE: (Zoicite) Wait a tic, my wallet's gone! >Then her mind shifted to someone else...Jedite. Ever since 3 days ago, when he had come out of >his eternal sleep, she couldn't help noticing him looking at her a bit strangely... DAMIAN: Like she had something on her shirt. DAVID: Whoa, good double-entendre. DAMIAN: I've been practicing. >almost longingly. Suddenly, she flashed back to earlier that day, after the latest battle >against the Sailor Scouts. When she had sensed someone watching her and Malachite kissing under >the cherry trees. 'It WAS him,' she thought. RICKY: And he had been taking pictures, she remembered... >She mentally kicked herself as she remembered the look on his face...the loneliness in his eyes. STEPHEN: He looked like a puppy dog... c'mon, how can you resist that punim? >How could she have done that? 'Oh well,' she thought. No use dwelling on it. After all, >Malachite was her boyfriend, Jedite should be able to accept that by now. She sighed again, and >tried to get some sleep. Half an hour later, though, she was still awake. DAVID: (Zoicite) Man, I'm still baked. >"Well, looks like I'm not sleeping tonight," she mumbled. Quietly, she got out of bed, slipped >her robe on, and walked outside onto the balcony to look at LOUIE: The couple snogging next door. >the stars in the night sky. Thinking again about Jedite...suddenly, she found herself longing >for him. Longing for him to touch her, longing to be held in his strong arms..."Bad Zoicite!" >she hissed under her breath. DAMIAN: No biscuit! >What was she thinking? She already had a lover, why was she fantasizing about Jedite? "Damn, >love is so confusing sometimes," she muttered. RICKY: That's the beauty of being single - you get the best angle on it all. DAVID: Yeah, the outside angle. > Jedite, meanwhile, was lying awake in bed as well. He appeared to be asleep, as his eyes >were closed, but he was unable to stop thinking. About earlier, when he had spied the love of >his life kissing another under the cherry trees. STEPHEN: If he had been smoking marijuana at that time, he would have seen her kissing the tree. >"I knew from the beginning she had a boyfriend, so why do I still feel this way?" he wondered >aloud. Suddenly he felt like a jerk. DAVID: Say, that sounds good. Do we have any jerky? >Malachite was Zoicite's lover, she had every right to kiss him. So there was no use being upset >about it. He repeated this to himself, and tried to LOUIE: Just relax, for Mystery Science Theater 3000! (*TWANNNNG*) DAMIAN: How DID you do that?! LOUIE: ...I don't know... >go back to sleep. But the more he tried, the harder it was. He couldn't get Zoicite out of his >mind. She was the most beautiful woman he'd ever known DAMIAN: If he really thinks that, he's leading a really sheltered life. DAVID: That, or he's just about blind. >(aside from a raven-haired girl he'd once courted)...those pretty green eyes, that long, shiny >golden hair, that smile..."Gods, I love her," he sighed. He felt so frustrated. RICKY: His trainers were always trading him and making him take those nasty-tasting medicines. >He knew she already had a love, and that he could never have her. Yet he still felt this way. >Sighing, he slipped out of bed. Maybe a walk would clear his mind. He grabbed his jacket and put >it on as he headed outside, shivering slightly in the cold night air. STEPHEN: (Jedite) Is it cold out here or what? ... HOLY CATS, I'M NOT WEARING PANTS! LOUIE: David Letterman IS Jedite... > As he was walking, though, he noticed that he was not the only one awake at this hour. As >he got a better look, he saw Zoicite standing on the balcony outside her window, only in her >robe. She looked so beautiful. Jedite's heart began to beat faster as he walked over. Just then, STEPHEN: His heart overworked itself, and failed, thus causing him to die. DAMIAN: (bows his head) I had hoped he wouldn't go back to this... >Zoicite noticed someone standing outside her window. Rubbing her eyes, she stepped forward a bit >to get a better look. LOUIE: Not realizing there was a hole in the floor. DAVID: (Zoicite) Who in the hell're yooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu­uuu... *THUD* > "Jedite?" She was very surprised to see him, especially because she'd just been thinking >about him. "Zoicite..." he whispered. They stood in silence for a few moments. DAMIAN: (Jedite) It got weird, didn't it? DAVID: (Zoicite) Mm-hmm. >Finally, Zoicite said, "Jedite, please come up here." Jedite did as he was told, and reluctantly >met her gaze. RICKY: (Jedite) Nice to meet ya, Mr. Gaze. >And again there was silence. Zoicite looked at him. 'Gods, is he handsome...' she thought, then >mentally slapped herself. 'Remember Malachite,' her mind scolded her. Jedite was wondering why >she called him up here. STEPHEN: (Zoicite) Could you stand on that big bulls-eye there? There's something I'm trying out... don't worry, this won't hurt - much. >In his dreams, she would call him up to confess her love for him. But only in his dreams. How he >wished it was reality. But as long as she was in love with Malachite, it could never be. DAVID: This is fanfiction, m'boy - anything's possible. >Feeling himself begin to get depressed, Jedite looked away from her. Then Zoicite spoke again. LOUIE: You are the Weakest Link. Good-bye. >"Jedite, I-" she began, but he stopped her. Even if it was too risky, he had to tell her. >"Wait...before you say anything, I must tell you this." DAMIAN: (Jedite) I'm gay. RICKY: (Zoicite) And that matters how, again? >Zoicite blinked. His heart pounding faster and his palms sweaty, he drew in a deep breath and >stepped closer, taking her hands in his. "I...love you, Zoicite. I have since the day we met, >and since then you are always on my mind and in my heart," he said. Zoicite nearly fell over, >she was so shocked. RICKY: After all, she had stepped on a live wire. >Jedite continued. "But...I know you already have a lover, and I won't stand in your way. I just STEPHEN: (Jedite) Want to make you feel like an ass. >needed to tell you." That said, he let go of her hands and looked away. Zoicite felt as if her >heart was going to break through her chest. DAVID: Either that, or it was a face-hugging alien. >He LOVED her? She had been agonizing over her feelings for him and her relationship with >Malachite the whole night, and at that moment, she realized it. She did care about Malachite, >but only as a dear friend and a teacher. LOUIE: Other than that, she said "Hell with him". >It was Jedite she truly loved. How could she not have seen it all this time? "Jedite..." she >began, DAMIAN: (Zoicite) Why didn't you just say something? DAVID: (Jedite) You didn't ask. (The Department of Old and Overused Lines, like in the last experiment, rushes in and attempts to beat the hell out of the Warriors. A fight ensues, with the Warriors using some damn good martial arts skills to fend off their attackers. The epartment men run off, yelling curses.) STEPHEN: Why did that happen? RICKY: He used the old "You didn't ask" line. >but this time, he cut her off by taking her hands STEPHEN: Off with a chainsaw. >in his again and drawing her closer. "Just...let me have this one moment to remember. Please," >he whispered. With that, he took her in his arms and pressed his lips against hers, giving her DAVID: A reason to slap the living dog piss out of him. >a long, deep, passionate kiss. To his shock, Zoicite wrapped her arms around his neck and >kissed him back with the same passion. This kiss lasted for what seemed like an eternity, LOUIE: Doesn't it seem like an eternity, though? >but was only about a minute. Right then, Zoicite knew it was true love, and it felt wonderful. >Finally, they pulled back and looked deep into each other's eyes. DAMIAN: (Zoicite) Gaaah! Take out my contact lenses! >"Jedite, I have longed for you to touch me, to hold me in your strong arms for a long time >now," she whispered. "Zoicite...does this mean...?" Jedite looked at her, his eyes shiny. RICKY: Catch them! They could be useful status symbols! >"I love you, Jedite. I have for a long time now, I just didn't realize it until tonight," she >whispered, her soft green eyes sparkling in the moonlight. Jedite could not believe this. STEPHEN: Nor can we. LOUIE: Oh, really, it's not as unbelieveable as some of the things we've read. STEPHEN: Name one. LOUIE: I'll name several later. >Was he dreaming again? Zoicite smiled and pinched him on the arm, as if she knew what he was >thinking. "Ow," Jedite winced. So this was really happening. "What about Malachite?" he asked. DAVID: Like we said, hell with him. >"I love him, but he is just a friend. My love for you is much more than that," she said. >Smiling, Jedite held her closer. "I've dreamed of this moment forever," he said. "As have I," >Zoicite said, her voice so soft she was almost like an angel at the moment. LOUIE: Then an Eva unit grabbed and ate her. > "Jedite..." > "Zoicite..." DAMIAN: Chief! DAVID: McCloud! RICKY: (in a perfect Mumm-Ra voice) Lion-O! STEPHEN: (in a perfect Lion-O voice) Hoooooooooo! > Blue eyes met green as they leaned in again, then closed as their lips met in a soft, >passionate kiss. Jedite slowly untied the green ribbon that held back Zoicite's long hair, >letting it flow gracefully down her back. RICKY: It grabbed them both, tied them up, and let most of the rest slither off in search of other victims... >Zoicite ran her hand into Jedite's short yet thick, gorgeous blonde hair. They held each other >tightly, Jedite's hands running through her hair, and up and down her sides. A shiver of >excitement went through Zoicite upon feeling the STEPHEN: Freezing cold blast of air coming in through the window. >warmth of Jedite's strong hands through the thin silk of her robe. She moaned lightly and >hooking leg onto his just a bit and running her hands through his hair. DAVID: Run that one by me again? LOUIE: I dunno, I don't get it either. >Jedite slowly broke the mouth-to-mouth contact and began LOUIE: Chest compressions. DAMIAN: Live, damn you, LIVE! >kissing her neck, his hand reaching down and gently brushing against her chest. "Oh!" his >lover gasped. He blinked. "Something wrong?" he asked, a bit worried. DAMIAN: (Zoicite) You have really sharp fingernails. >"No...you just surprised me, that's all," she said almost seductively. Jedite smiled. "Just a >bit nervous, I guess..." he said, then resumed his actions. Zoicite closed her eyes and let >the sensations slowly take over, RICKY: But it wasn't that taking over... it was an evil force... more evil than any of them had ever known... LOUIE: Rope it in. You aren't a writer, y'know. >moaning as she felt Jedite's warm hands gently cup her small breasts. DAMIAN: And that's as small as they get. >After a few minutes, she loosened the sash of her robe and pushed the sides of her robe >slightly out of the way. Jedite just stared at the smooth, pale skin of her bare chest and >shoulders, feeling his member stiffen in his pants. STEPHEN: That one goes under "T", for "Too much info"... >Zoicite shivered a bit, goosebumps appearing on her naked skin. "Maybe we better go inside," >she suggested. "Yeah, this balcony is no place for..." Jedite began, then blushed. DAVID: (Jedite, thinking) You spoke too soon, dumbass... LOUIE: (Zoicite) No place for what? Are you thinking what I think you're thinking? >"That is, if...you want to." Zoicite nodded. "Yes," she whispered. Jedite smiled, then lifted >her into his arms. He then teleported to the ground below and carried her to his room. LOUIE: I wonder if I can get Dr. F. to send him up here... DAMIAN: You try it, and you'll be the one we get to leave behind. We've enough villains to deal with. > Once inside, he lay her down on the bed and kissed her again, sliding his hand inside >her robe and squeezing her breasts. Zoicite moaned, then after a minute broke the kiss. DAMIAN: I hope it's under warranty. >"Let's even things out just a bit," she laughed as she slowly began to remove his jacket. She >pulled it off and tossed it onto a chair, then gasped a bit as her eyes took in the sight of >Jedite's bare-chested form. Gods, was he handsome! "Wow..." she breathed. RICKY: As opposed to? >Jedite blushed a little as the golden-haired angel pulled him in for another kiss, her small >hands massaging his chest. Jedite's arms wrapped tightly around her, his heart feeling as if >it would burst. They still could not believe this was happening. But it was. STEPHEN: Just as this is... unfortunately. >Jedite reached down and slowly untied the sash of her robe, then pulled back and slid the >fabric off of her. Zoicite let it fall to the floor, then lay back on the bed, only in her >panties. "You're beautiful, Zoi...even more than in my dreams," DAVID: And if those were nightmares? >Jedite whispered. Zoicite blushed. "Thanks..." she said. Jedite lay down and the 2 of them >kissed yet again. Zoicite could feel the heat growing between her legs as her lover's hands >massaged her breasts. LOUIE: (Jedite) Y'know, I've considered doing this professionally. I'd spend my whole day feeling people up, and I'd make money for it! DAMIAN: Y'mean the sex thing? LOUIE: No, no, I mean he could be a massage therapist. >Jedite slid his hand down into Zoicite's white cotton panties and felt the lips of her >now-moist pussy. DAMIAN: Zero-tolerance moratorium on cat jokes. RICKY: Rats. DAMIAN: Don't remind me. >Zoicite shivered in pleasure and broke away from his lips. "Ohh Jedite..." she moaned. He >responded by RICKY: Saying, "Wait, you'll leave all the money on the dresser, right?" >slipping 2 fingers into her, probing at her inner walls, his thumb rubbing her clit. He moved >his head down and began sucking lightly at one of her breasts, causing Zoicite to moan louder. >She moved her hand down and began rubbing Jedite's erection through his pants. STEPHEN: Well, at least it ain't written by Shadow - otherwise, there'd be no pants. (Damian springs from his seat) DAMIAN: I got it! Shadow does that because he IS David Letterman! DAVID: (gives him a strange look) Let it go, already. >Jedite groaned and pushed his fingers deep inside Zoicite's vagina. Finally, Zoicite couldn't >stand it any longer. She wanted Jedite inside her that very moment. DAVID: She opened up, and his whole body was sucked in, like it was a black hole. LOUIE: (Jedite) Whoa, it sure is dark in here... > "Jedite!" she cried out. Jedite looked up from her tits and slowly began to remove his >fingers from her. "Yes?" he asked. "Please...I need to feel you inside me right now. LOUIE: (Jedite) What do you think I was just doing? >I can't stand it any longer," she whispered. Jedite himself felt as if he wasn't going to last >longer. DAMIAN: And I don't think we can either... >He kissed her lightly on the forehead and gently lay her back, pulling his pants and boxers off >in one swift motion. Zoicite gasped as the size of Jedite's cock. "I've never seen one that >big!" she commented. RICKY: (Zoicite) What'd you do, give it radioactive feed? (The others glare at Ricky for the really bad rooster riff.) RICKY: Ah, you expected it. >Jedite blushed. "Thanks," he said as he slowly slid off Zoicite's panties. He positioned >himself above her, a bit nervous, knowing she was a virgin. "Now, this may hurt a little, >Zoicite...but just relax. I'll try not to hurt you too much," STEPHEN: Sounds like us talking to an author. >he reassured her. Zoicite was also pretty nervous, knowing her first time would be a bit >painful, but she nodded. "Okay. But I know you won't hurt me too much," she said, smiling. DAVID: (Zoicite) Because if you do, I'll rip your face off. >Slowly, Jedite eased his rock-hard penis into her. Zoicite cried out a little in pain as he >broke through her virginity, and a single tear slid down her face, but she was okay. Jedite >gently brushed it away. "I'm sorry. From now on there will only be pleasure, I promise," LOUIE: (Jedite) Well, until we get married or something... >he whispered. Zoicite smiled. "I'm okay now," she said. Jedite slowly began to pump his cock >in and out of her pussy, (Ricky squirms in his seat.) LOUIE: Hold the bad riffs in, Ricky... you can do it! >loving how tight she felt to him. Zoicite moaned, wrapping her arms around him and lifting her DAMIAN: Right into the ceiling fan. >hips slightly. Jedite began to pump more furiously, already feeling himself about to cum. RICKY: Well, at least it's mercifully short. >Zoicite felt an orgasm building up as well, and her hips began to move in time with his >thrusts. Jedite pumped in and out furiously, holding her tightly against him. Finally, it >became too much and STEPHEN: Every riffer went insane, beating thier heads on walls until they splattered like ripe melons. DR. F: Success! This is the one! STEPHEN: Well, now, if that's what we were doing, then you would be successful. >they both reached climax at the same time, yelling each other's name. DAVID: (Zoicite) Ohhh.... uh, what was your name again? > "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH JEDITE!" "ZOICITE!" LOUIE: Chi- DAMIAN: We used that one. > When it was over, they collapsed back onto the bed, panting heavily. Zoicite rested her >head on Jedite's strong chest, listening to his heartbeat. DAMIAN: (imitates a short drumming riff) STEPHEN: (Jedite) Whoa, it's never done that before... >Jedite held her in his arms, stroking her hair. "I love you, Zoicite, my darling" he >whispered. "And I love you too, Jedite. Now and forever," RICKY: If she breaks into Celine Dion, I'm not going to stand for it. DAMIAN: You won't? RICKY: No, I'll sit, though. >Zoicite whispered, pulling the bedsheet over them. They fell asleep in each other's arms, >their love for each other stronger than ever. > ~End~ STEPHEN: Thank God. DAMIAN: I'm leaving... RICKY: Don't! It's not over! DAMIAN: (turns around slowly) Damn. Well, at least I didn't get my hair blasted off by electricity this time. > Wasn't that sweet? *gag* Okay, I know I sank pretty damn low with this thing. DAVID: Ya kidding? Every time we thought you had hit the bottom, you pulled out another pickax. >But since I wrote it for the sake of writing a bad lemon, who cares? :P LOUIE: |-{ > This is actually the first Sailor Moon lemon I ever wrote and finished. I started on 2 of >them, but one I almost completely forgot about, and the other I hit a block with. ^^;; Too bad >my first Sailor Moon lemon had to be such a lousy one, huh? :P DAMIAN: It's a given. > Anyway, if you are going to MST or flame this lemon, go right ahead. RICKY: We did! >But...don't be TOO hard on me. Remember, I'm just a simple otaku with a crazy mind. ^_^ >Hopefully, my next Sailor Moon lemon will be better than this thing. STEPHEN: Don't we all wish? > Ja ne! ^_^ DAVID: Bah! DAMIAN: Door's open, let's flee! (They exeunt.) (Bridge. Everything seems to be in working order. The Warriors are seated, each one looking at the nearby viewscreen.) LOUIE: So, how'd things go, Merlin? MERLIN: Everything was running well. In fact, I made some slight, udetectable changes to increase the ship's efficiency. STEPHEN: Do you find it difficult watching everything here? MERLIN: Not really. Everything is a simple 1 or 0 question - "Is there enough oxygen?" "Are electrical systems online?" "Are all airlocks secured?" It's very simple. (The red MADs light flashes.) MERLIN: Incoming call from High Commander Forrester. DAMIAN: (hits the light) Ah, we've been expecting you, Macmillan and Wife. USAGI: I resent that remark! DR. F: Ah, I see you've made a new friend in the system. Well, don't expect him to help you. After all, I designed him, and he works for ME. DAVID: He calls you "High Commander". DR. F: Ah, yes. I programmed him to think I'm some sort of supreme fleet commander, and, when you think about it, I am - I have a mess of those satellites. MERLIN: High Commander, sir, your test subjects seem unaffected by your experiment. DR. F: Okay, so that one isn't it. Well, one of these days, I know I'll find the one piece that will turn you all to simpering blobs of mindless Jell-O! Until that day... (He hits the button.) MERLIN: Why does the High Commander not like his subordinates? DAMIAN: Because we're still here. \ | / \ | / \ | / \ | / \|/ -----o----- SHHEEEOOooooo... /|\ Art custom-made by / | \ me, Pika-Screw. / | \ Feel free to use it.. / | \ / | \ AUTHOR'S NOTES: Well, this was short. SaraJ sent me this thing twice, and I just had to use it. It took some stumbling, but I finally finished it. Next time, I'll probably have another lemon... maybe even something I haven't done before. And be watching in September... something big's gonna go down... something that will change life for everyone involved in the Magic Warrior Theater 300 series! And remember to send some feedback! >What was she thinking? She already had a lover, why was she fantasizing about Jedite? "Damn, >love is so confusing sometimes," she muttered. Keep circulating the crap... z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-­z-z-z-z Returning for the 2001 season... me. Member #02420 of the Lumber Cartel (tinLC), informal member #2023 of the Spicey Chicken Cartel (tinSCC), Carrington agent, trainer, moonie, and one HELL of a model American. Take out the Bionic Commando to reply. All spam gets the MeatSim treatment.