And now for something completely different.. I actually wrote this a LONG time ago, and posted it to AGNPH very shortly after it was created. I then didn't come back for a long time. Btw, for those who are old AGNP regulars, my old alias was Jeff during the brief period of time I was a regular there. Anyways, I decided to repost it, to get it archived into www.agnph.com and just to give everyone a good laugh. I thought the MST my friend did of my lemon was very funny, and I still do ^_^ Btw, this was written when I was 'slightly' more innocent, and thus features genderless Pokemon. (yes, genderless) So without further ado, here it is! Enjoy! ------ [Lina, Gourry, Ameria and Zel take a seat] >The Steaming Encounter >by Anonymous Pokefan Lina: The touching story of a boy and the steam iron that loved him... >Note, this is a lemon, disclaimer follows. Gourry: It does? >Disclaimer: Gourry: Wow! It did follow! How'd he do that!? [Lina smacks Gourry on the back of the head] >This story contains sexual acts between Pokemon so sensitive viewers >are warned not to continue. I am not responsible for any side effects >from reading this story, including beastiality, the desire to >procreate with animals, or other unexpected, and highly illegal acts. Zel (Scottish geneticist): I'd ne'er do such a thing, eh Dolly? Ameria (Dolly the Sheep): Baaaaa!!!! >I could make this longer, but it really isn't needed considering if >your reading this, you obviously want some form of Pokemon lemon ^_^ All: Actually.....no. >All the characters, Pokemon, place names, badges, and whatever else >is in here, save the actual story, are property of Nintendo, all >rights reserved. >There, brace thyself. [The group grasps the arms of their chairs, bracing for impact...] >----------- Gourry: It's... a dotted line. Ameria: We see that. So what? Gourry: Shouldn't it serve a purpose, like showing where exactly to abandon hope and reason, or denoting the exact place where the writer discarded his sanity? Ameria: It's... just a line. Gourry: [a bit upset] Oh... >Satoshi, Takeshi and Kasumi continued their travels from Celadon >city. Satoshi was very pleased to have won a Rainbow badge at the gym >and was proudly displaying it, much to the annoyance of his two >travelling companions. Zel (Redneck cop): You will respect my authoritahhhhh! >"Get over it Satoshi, its just a badge.", Takeshi told him, annoyed. >"But I won it fair and square! Right Pikachu?", he glanced up at his >favorite Pokemon, who was eagerly glancing around from his perch on >his hat. Lina: Note to self: Kill Satoshi. Keep hat. >"Pikachu..", it replied boredly. >"Hmm, this looks like a good place to rest.", Takeshi noted the small >clearing, sitting down on a nearby rock and wiping the sweat from his >eyes. Zel: Eyes? What eyes? Gourry: All people have eyes! Zel: Not that Magoo wanna-be! It looks like someone drew two lines across his face with charcoal! >"Yeah, I'm exhausted.", Kasumi agreed, lying down on the soft grass. Lina: It took every ounce of self-control for Takeshi to NOT start the lemon scene early at that point... >"Come on guys! I want to go to Saffron city to get my next badge! Get >up!" Zel (Takeshi): I'm not getting up until I have a vision of a lovely naked girl...... Okay, I'm ready. >"Quiet! I want to get a tan!", Kasumi replied, basking in the sun. Ameria (Kasumi): More suntan oil, slave! Zel (Satoshi): Yes, mistress! >Satoshi realized he couldn't win. "Fine, my Pokemon need a stretch >anyway. Come out everyone!", he cried throwing five Pokeballs into >the air. Gourry: That's just three too many balls to have... Lina: Gourry! [Thwaps him.] >As each connected with the soft earth they released their tired >inhabitants: Hitokage, Fushigidane, Zenigame, Pigion and Okorizaru. All: When Pokémon Attack!!! Zel: Only on Fox! >"Kage!" >"Fushi fushi!" >"Zeni!" >"Piiggion!!" >"Okorrri!" >Satoshi laughed as his Pokemon peered around the quiet clearing. Lina (Fushigidane): Where in the hell's the bar? Gourry (Hitokage): Yeah, I wanna beer! >Happy to finally have some time to enjoy themselves, they quickly >rushed off, with the exception of Okorizaru who gave Satoshi a >massive wallop before rushing over to Takeshi to consume more >riceballs. Zel: And that's for calling me Primeape!!! Damn dubbie! >"Kuso..", Satoshi cried, clutching his eye as he struggled to his >feet. "Okorizaru.." >Kasumi laughed. "Okorizaru seems to have good taste." [Zel mimics hurling] Zel: You cooking sucks! >"Who asked you?", Satoshi frowned. >Pigion quickly took off, searching for a stray Catapie or Beedoru. All (singing): Let me tell you 'bout the birds and the bees.. >Fushigidane was content to stay near his trainer, soaking the suns >rays. >"Dane.. fushi.." >"Fushigidane isn't the playful type is it?", Kasumi noted. Gourry (Stifflif accent): No, he prepers a good newspaper and a strong fertilizer... >"Nah... well it seems everyone else has left.", Satoshi noted all of >his other Pokemon were out of sight, including Pikachu who searched >the trees for Lina: His crack pipe? Zel: His stack of PokéPlayboys? Ameria: Rosebud? Gourry: Fruits? >fruits. All except Gourry: DAMN! Gourry: I was right? Neat-o! >"Yes, its time to let my Pokemon out as well.", Kasumi stood up and >released three Pokeballs containing Koduck, Hitodeman and Starmy. >"Koooodaku!" Gourry: Arseniooooooooooooooooooooooo.... [All hit him. Hard.] >"Hit!" Zel: Queen. You busted with 23. Ameria: Dammit! >"Star!" Gourry: Twinkle, twinkle, little... [Lina fireballs Gourry right where he's sitting.] Gourry: Ow... [Exhales smoke.] >Kasumi then sat down, and watched the two star-shaped Pokemon swirl >about gracefully in the air squirting water at each other. Zel (Takeshi): Kasumi.... that's... not water.... Ameria (Kasumi): Oh... >She gazed >at the two Pokemon in awe until she felt a bill touch her leg. Lina: I told you to stop putting twenties in my pants! >It was Koduck. >"Go out there and play Koduck!" >"Kodaku?", it said, clutching its head. Gourry: Note to self: Kill Kasumi. Take aspirin. >Kasumi sighed. >*** Meanwhile *** All: It's Lucky Star Time! Zel (Announcer): Which Lucky Star is the brand new TV under, miss Ameria? Ameria (Ditzy Contestant): Number.... Three!! [Lina flips the third Lucky Star over.] Zel: No, that one has the rest of this lemon behind it! Ameria: Noooooooooooo!!! >Zenigame and Hitokage eagerly rushed into the forest, playing a game >of Ameria: Chicken. Zel: Hide the Salami. Lina: Strip Janken. Gourry: Um, tag? >tag. All except Gourry: DAMN! Gourry: Again? [The rest glare at him, and he slumps into his chair.] >"Zeni!", Zenigame cried out with glee as it tagged Hitokage, and >quickly recoiled into its shell, spinning deeper into the foilage. >"Kage!", Hitokage answered annoyingly as it chased after the >surprisingly swift turtle. Lina: he would never know of the massive forest fire he had started... >"Game zeni!", Zenigame was growing tired, thanks to his shell spin it >could easily outmanuver Hitokage. Coming up with a plan for other >play, it quickly hid behind a tree, waiting for Hitokage to rush by. Zel: I'll pull this leeever and the rocks will crush him instantly! [Zel cackles madly.] >"Hitooo!", Hitokage cried, charging forward with bewilderment, >looking for any sign of the elusive water Pokemon. Zel: The time has come! [Mimics pulling lever.] Lina: Kageeeeeeeeee!!!!!!! Ameria: Oh my God... you killed Charmy! Gourry: You bastard! >Zenigame snickered as the confused lizard popped into view, its tail >swaying side to side nervously. All: You are getting sleeeeepy, and when you awake, you will have sex with the first thing you see! >"Zeni zeni!", Zenigame jumped forward and tackled Hitokage, causing >it to roll around in surprise. "Game!! Zeni!", Zenigame laughed >triumphantly, weighing alot more than Hitokage. Lina (vacant): Must... have... sex... with... you.... >"Kaaage!", Hitokage rolled around wildly in the grass, struggling to >shove the turtle off. Gourry: Get off me! Lina: Must... sex.... Gourry: Kyaaaaaaaaaaa! >"Game!" "Kage!", the two Pokemon giggled as they struggled in the >grass, finally coming to a rest at a tree, entangled in a jumble of >arms and legs. Zel: The Arms-and-Legs plant was quite offended and killed them both. The End. >They lay there gasping for a few moments, before slowly attempting to >untangle themselves. >Zenigame slowly withdrew its leg from Hitokage's arm and struggled to >get its tail free, when the Pokemon noticed a curious tingling >sensation as it continued to squirm from Hitokage. All: TRIGGER!!!!! [Cheap porn music starts to play.] >"Zeni?", it said, confused. Ameria: What's this strange feeling? It's like when Satoshi gives us a 'special' massage... Lina: Oh. That. Was. Sick. Ameria: Oops... >"Kage?", Hitokage replied, as it pulled away from Zenigame, also >experiencing a giddy warmth as Zenigame's hand brushed the skin >between its legs. Zel: My loins are warm... for you.... >The Pokemon stared at each other for awhile, not knowing what to >think, except that they wanted more. Zenigame noticed Hitokage's tail >flame burn higher, obviously excited. Gourry: He's flaming.... do I smell [Sniffs the air] yaoi? The others: *moment of silence* Nahhhh... >"Zenigame..", Zenigame gently took a few steps towards Hitokage. >"Kaaage..", Hitokage watched Zenigame reapproach, and its tail flamed >higher as it responded by rushing to meet the Pokemon, as they >tackled each other once more. Lina [standing]: Is anyone here ready to see two organless Pokémon screw each other? [Only Ameria raises her hand.] Lina: Put your hand down! Ameria: Oh.... [Slowly lowers it.] >After struggling for a bit more, Zenigame tentatively reached out and >stroked Hitokage. ALL: GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! >"Kaage..", Hitokage peered at Zenigame curiously, feeling a strange >sort of longing for it. Lina (singing): Give it to me, baby! Give it to me, honey! >Zenigame stared into Hitokage's large blue eyes. "Zeni.." >The two Pokemon moved their heads forward and kissed, awkwardly. All: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww..... [Reach for barf bags and hurl.] >Hitokage pulled back. >"Kage?", it was immensely confused by these strange emotions. Zel: I can't understand why, after all the rubbing and kissing, I want to wild monkey sex with you! I just can't! >"Zeni..", the turtle just blinked a few times, before it gasped as it >noticed Hitokage instinctively rubbing against it. Ameria: Take me now! Zel: Oh yes! [The two start making out like crazy.] Lina: Um... guys? [They realize what they're doing, then quickly straighter their clothes.] >Hitokage just gave into its emotions as it rubbed against Zenigame, >feeling a building of pleasure. Gourry: Like a storm rumbling over the horizon, ready to release its rain on the sweaty, burning, parched ground... yes!!! [Others stare at Gourry.] Gourry: [Blushes.] I need a shower.... Others: EWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! >Zenigame watched in awe as Hitokage cooed with this new found source >of enjoyment. "Zeni...", it suddenly felt the urge to gently lick >Hitokage's face. All (singing): You've got to lick it... before you stick it! You've got to get it soft and wet before you stick it! >Hitokage stopped rubbing and gently licked Zenigame back. Soon their >tongues interlocked in another kiss. Ameria: Mmmmm... you ate fish earlier, didn't you? Gourry: How can you tell? >This time when they broke free, Hitokage was flaming furiously, >obviously near a climax. Zel: Flame on! Lina: Whatever you do, Hitokage, don't fart!! >Zenigame, wanting to experience what Hitokage had, gently rubbed his >shelled body against Hitokage, however only faint a faint tingle. >However, the next moment the Pokemon cried out as Hitokage's fingers >gently prodded inside the shell. Ameria: Just grab your ankles and think of Japan! Lina: Hey, I think I found your keys! >"Zeni..game!", Zenigame cried in awe as its mind reeled. Gourry: I'm coming out of my shell! Lina: Oh, that was so wrong! Gourry: Oh.. gomen. >It lay back as all sorts of colours flooded its vision, lost in >pleasure. All: Pretty... colors.... >Hitokage smiled, seeing how much Zenigame was enjoying it, but its >own needs required attention, so the horny Pokemon quickly thought of >another idea. Slowly the Pokemon slid down to where its face was >touching the entrance to Zenigame's shell. It then gently extended >its tongue and slipped it inside. Lina: CHARMANDER uses Lick! >"Gaaamee!!", Zenigame freaked, almost climaxing right there. ALL: It's SUPER effective! >Slowly regaining itself, Zenigame turned about and gently massaged >Hitokage's chest, moving down between his legs. Zel: Hmmm... I can't seem to find your genitals... Gourry: My god! Where'd they go?!?! >"Kaage..?", Hitokage cooed, savoring the pleasure. >Then Zenigame licked the sensitive area, gently spraying it with >water. Lina: SQUIRTLE uses Water Gun! >Hitokage shivered with delight as the warm water poured over it. ALL: It's SUPER effective! >"Zeni... ZENI!!!", thanks to Hitokage's tongue work, Zenigame finally >hit an orgasm, moving about wildly, crying "Zeni! Zeni!" Zel: To the left! LEFT! LEEEEEFT! Ahhhhhhhhhh... Gourry: Hey, he's as loud as you are when that happens with us! Lina: Baka! [Whaps Gourry.] Shut your mouth!! [The others stare at Lina, who sweatdrops.] Lina: I can explain... Zel: What? You slipped, fell, and landed on his... Ameria: Zel-kun! Watch you language! >At the same time Hitokage had finally climaxed as well, due to the >water massage and they both shuddered violently, clinging to each >other, in their first experience of true sexual bliss. Gourry: Not only does Zenigame act as a great sex toy, it also doubles as a nifty sprinkler system. Lina: Although activating it really does wear your tongue out... Gourry: Indeed. >Finally they were spent and lay gasping. Ameria: Bronchitis... and sex... don't mix... Zel: Need... Nurse Joi... to... revive me... >The two Pokemon stared into each others eyes, and then kissed once >more, for a long time. Lina: I still taste the fish. Gourry: You do? >"Zenigame.." >"Hitokage.." >The End.... All:Whew!!! >for now. Stay tuned for part two.... All: AAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!! >If I decide to make a part two! All: Whew... >Ja ne! Lina: Me Tar....zan. You Ja....ne. ..... ..... ..... >Part Two All: AAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!! ------------------------------------ Sigfile, AGNP version 1.03a ICQ: 500418 (All chainletters shall promptly place thee on my ignore list) E-mail anything Charmish to cha...@home.com "LOL!" -- Maria R. "Damn Newbies.." -- Jose Solano "I can quote myself if I want to! No one else has! *sniff*" -- Jeff The shrine for the great Charmander: http://come.to/charmandershrine Titles: Holder of the Sacred Tail Flame PW! writer. (Pokewars). Although, in my case it stands for Pathetic Writing (TM) AKA Jeff Karani, of the Pokewars Charmander Otaku Leader of the M.A.C.E (The Movement Against Charmander Evolving) *-------------------------* This message has been printed on recycled electrons to preserve the internet community. *-------------------------* And now, I just have one more thing to say. "Char Charmander!"