Midgar Thearter 5002 and 3/4 ((Note, > thing means it’s the original story, while the tabbed text is the MST. * are actions and the talking is just there... MST is done in script form... thanks!) Rude: Greetings, this is the time of day where the former Turks, Elena... Elena: Hey. Rude: Reno, Reno: Heeeeeeeey Rude: Tseng Tseng: *On P.A.* Hello Rude: And myself flame some worthwhile fictions... with permission from their authors. Elena: Oops... Rude: What is it? Elena: I didn’t get permission. Reno: Leave it to her... Tseng: *On P.A.* Today we MST a really shitty fiction by our friend Rasso, who in the story itself asked if we wished to MST it, tell him so he can read it... Elena: Shitty fiction? I’ve done tons of these... Rude: None like this before.... Reno: Bring it on! Tseng: *On P.A.* Beginning fiction... >I do not own these characters. Rude: Then take Elena, PLEASE! We’ll plea bargin with Square Enix for you to TAKE HER! No charge! Elena: How rude, Rude. Reno: Not like anyone would take her for free... Rude: Then how about we give her to you with a gold chocobo and Ultima Weapon? >Cloud Mows the Lawn Elena: What an ingenious title... sort of mysterious and... Reno: OOGA BOOGA BOOGA! Elena: Trying to scare me? Rude: He scared all my hair out! Elena and Reno: .......... >By Rasso Elena: *bowing to the screen* All hail the mighty fiction writer... Rude: Give it up woman... >Tifa knelt by the window with her arms were rested on the window sill. Elena: Is it just me or was that sentence horribly written? Rude: Grammatical error. Reno: Who are you, a professor of Midgarian? Rude: *holds up Dipolma* Elena and Reno: ... ... ... >She sighed in contentment, Elena: As opposed to me, who is sighing by now in BOREDOM! Rude: Give it a chance... Reno: Tseng picked this one to flame, now FLAME IT! Rude: *lights torch* Got it... Elena: NOT LIKE THAT! PUT THAT OUT! Rude: *puts torch out* >gazing outside. Cloud was out front, mowing the lawn. His shirt >was off, which was a big turn-on for Tifa, his wife of two weeks. Tifa >laughed as she >realized she could stare at him all day. Reno: With or without gagging? Elena: Me? Without... Rude: Me too... and he wasn’t wearing his shirt? Eww... Elena: A line borrowed from Yuffie... GROSSNESS! > She was rather sad he would finish eventually. >He worked out everyday, and his chest really showed that. He was the >sexiest >man Tifa ever saw. Elena: He’s also the most clueless, the strangest... the biggest bonehead, shall I continue? Rude: We’d rather you not... >That didn’t make Tifa fall in love with him, though. They grew up >together, and they >had secret crushes on each other throughout adolescence. Cloud >proposed to her the > day after their long adventure, and she immediately accepted. She >would never >forget that moment, when she felt like she and Cloud were alone in >space. They married > a week after he proposed, and were rarely seen outside after that. Elena: What were YOU doing? Rude: Elena... *sighs* Elena: What??? Reno: Are you really that naive or is that just for show? Elena: No, really, what were they doing? >Anyways, back to the story. Tifa was in the master bedroom on the >second floor of their > new house, watching the man of her dreams cut the grass. The twenty->year-old woman >was watching him mow the lawn for the seventh time. Rude: Because he has nothing better to do. Elena: Was that in one day? Reno: I think he does it every other day... > It was a hobby of hers, and the >fact that they had a huge yard and that it would take Cloud an extra >long time to >cut it. Watching how strong he was, she would not move for anything. Elena: Anything? >Suddenly, Tifa felt a slight rumble in her stomach, but she ignored it. >She was Elena: Even food? Rude: Something tells me that it isn’t food... Reno: Uh, can we get some vomit buckets in here? >having too good of a time watching Cloud. The best par the Reno: Two The’s? Man, this neeeds spelll checker... Elena: Hush, you do too. Rude: What’s a Par? Elena: I think they mean ParT. > the mowing routine was the end, when he would come upstairs to >shower. Right >before he entered the bathroom, she would ask Cloud if they could >take a shower >together. They would always end up kissing throughout the shower, and >they would >leave in a better mood than ever. Elena: JUST kissing? Rude: Really Elena, we need to get you laid. Reno: Don’t look at me, I ain’t sticking my dick up that! Elena: Yet you sleep around with tons of women... Reno: That’s different, I pay for their drinks... >She was so sure he would let her shower with her that >she was not wearing underwear under her black mini-skirt. Reno: Now THAT’S what I am talking about! SEXY! >She felt her stomach rumble again, and sighed. She really didn’t want >to leave. She wanted > tay tay there for the longest time, watching he husband do the yard. >Of course she Reno: Tay Tay? Elena: I think it means ‘To Stay’ Rude: Okay, I think her stomach is grumbling from food pains, or at least... I HOPE Reno: As do I... >knew he would do it again, and again, and again, but she cherished >every minute of >watching him, she could not bear to stop. Reno: What’s the word for finding sexual pleasure from watching one mow grass? Rude: Idiot-sadio-masocism Reno: That’s what I am... Elena: Really? Rude: WHAT? >Tifa’s stomach rumbled again, louder than the first two times. She >realized she had to >think of what to do, and quickly. She could run and return immediately, >but Reno: But she wouldn’t make it to the kitchen and back in time... Rude: What? Elena: She must be hungry, you need a lot of food to feed those bodacious ta-ta’s that she has... >then she would miss some of the lawn mowing. Her second option was >to stay and >clean up after herself, but the fear of getting caught made her feel >uneasy. This feeling Reno: Why do I have a bad feeling about this? Rude: She’s going to vomit? Reno: *grabs vomit bucket* If I do, I am ready... >caused her stomach to rumble more. Tifa looked down. The floor was a >brand >new and very expensive tile floor. It was not a very pleasant idea for >her to mess it up. >“Whatever,” muttered Tifa. “When a girl has to shit, a girl has to shit!” Elena: She’s going to do WHAT? Reno: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Rude: Reno’s ‘electro-rod’ just ran for cover... Reno: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo Elena: Stop screaming Reno... Reno: *takes big breath in* >Tifa’s black skirt was actually a wrap-around, and it was easy to >remove. >Soon, she was bottomless. Reno: That’d be hot if it weren’t for the fact she is going to shit everywhere... Rude: You can say that again... Reno: That’d be hot if it weren’t for the fact... Elena: *smack* Shut up. >Tifa took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She pushed and grunted >over again, >until she felt her anus stretch. >“This is it!” she said aloud, while still pushing and grunting. Elena: We demand a raise Tseng, do you hear me? *banging on wall* Tseng: *On P.A.* Sit down and finish the fiction... > A crackling sound filled her ears as the turd finally slid out of her body. Reno: Do we really need visuals? Rude: My eyes...they sting... >It was a hard one, dark brown and Elena: Grand, remind me never to eat any chocolate again... Rude: Want a Hershey bar? Elena: Okay... Rude: It’s a little melted, but its still good... Reno: Gross... that looks like Rude: Zip it. >compressed together. And boy did it stink. Elena: I can smell it from here... Rude: What did she eat? >Tifa didn’t mind the smell of her own Reno: Just as the author doesn’t mind the smell of his own works? Rude: Well... I can’t contradict you there... >droppings, but she knew it would be difficulty to get away with this. Elena: I can smell it from here... Rude: Enough Elena... >With Tifa’s shit sitting on the floor, she felt slightly relieved. Tifa let out >a long, gassy fart. > She giggled, for she tended to have gassy poops. Her relief soon >ended, however, as Elena: I never fart, it isn’t lady like... Reno: Neither is killing... Rude: Neither is drinking so much beer. Tseng: *On P.A.* Neither is propositioning your boss for sex... Elena: ... > she felt another log traveling from her colon to her rectum. She >pushed again, and the turd > began to slide out. Unfortunately for poor Tifa, it got stuck halfway. Reno: To Much Information... Rude: Make it stop... Elena: I do NOT need that picture when I am going to sleep tonight... >“I’ll bet that feels good!” said Cloud from behind her. Elena: Don’t tell the world... >Tifa immediately jumped up in shock. She was so focused on expelling >what was >in her gorgeous bowels Reno: First time in history I have heard the words ‘gorgeous’ and ‘bowels’ in the same sentence... Elena: And also the last... >that Cloud finished the lawn and came up to the bedroom. So >there she was, standing there, in a white t-shirt, white socks, red >sneakers, and no >pants or underwear, and with five inches of shit sticking out of her ass >in front of the love >of her life. Tifa began to cry, and Cloud approached her and hugged >her. She didn’t Elena: Gross... Rude: That is a private moment I want to have PRIVATELY Reno: This is exactly why I lock the bathroom door. >care her shirt became drenched with his sweat. She wanted her man. >She even felt a bulge > in his pants, and realized that her taking a dump turned him on. Reno: That is one of the only things that do not turn me on... Rude: Taking a dump? Reno: Yes, Elena: What doesn’t turn you on? Reno: I’m not sure... Rude: Mice Traps? Reno: No, they turn me on.... Rude: ... ... Elena: How about Yaoi? Reno: No, oddly, that turns me on... Elena: ... then what doesn’t turn you on? Reno: I know Fig Nutons don’t turn me on... and Clowns... and Tseng. Tseng: *on P.A.* I heard that... Rude: That’s a good thing Tseng... Tseng: *on P.A.* Not for all my FanFictions out there it isn’t. >To Tifa’s surprise, Cloud turned her around and lowered her onto her >hands and knees. Tifa >was puzzled at first, wondering what he would do, but that puzzle was >soon solved as >Cloud guided his dicwardward Elena: I think they mean... Dickward forward... Reno: That’s still gross... Rude: He’s not going to... >her anus and the shit that hung from it. Cloud moaned as >Tifa’s warm poo mashed against his dick. They had had anal sex many >timesbefore, >but never with a huge turd stuck in Tifa's ass! Reno: That’s another thing that doesn’t turn me on... having anal sex with someone who either just shit or needs too... Rude: Gross... give me the puke bucket. >Suddenly, Cloud’s dick set the poo that had been stuck in Tifa’s ass >free. Tifa’s rectum >expelled turdturd. Tifa farted again, and Cloud felt a pleasant breeze >on his member. Elena: Turd turd? Do they mean Turd after Turd? Reno: Gross... Rude: *using barfing bucket* >“Thanks!” exclaimed Tifa. >“Hey, no problem,” said Cloud. “I’m going to shower. Wanna get in there with me? Reno: I am going to shower and scrub my poor dick with sandpaper now... Tseng: *On P.A.* Sit right there, it isn’t over yet... Rude: We may need De-tox after this one... >Cloud and Tifa at the Mall >By Rasso Reno: Bet you aren’t worshiping the Rasso God now, are you Elena? Elena: Yes, I still am... Rude: May I ask why? Elena: Because he is an author and I don’t want to piss him off... Rude: Good point. >Tifa struggled to breathe. She and Cloud were at their favorite mall, >making out in their >favorite corner. They were running their hands over each other, and >they knew other >people could see, but they didn’t care. Elena: I can’t stand having people watch me make out... Reno: I can if I’m drunk enough... >Tifa had worn her tight pair of jean shorts today to show off her butt for >Cloud. He >always told her how her butt was pretty nice, so she wanted him to see >it as much >as possible. Cloud put his hands on Tifa’s butt and pushed her into >him. Tifa giggled >as she felt a bulge in Cloud’s pants. Reno: His wallet... Elena: Really? Rude: Elena, the innocent act is over... Elena: Damn it... >Suddenly, Tifa desperately freed herself from Cloud's arms. She really >had to poop. Reno: I see a trend to these stories... Rude: So do I. >She told Cloud she needed to run for a second and disappeared into >the ladies room. >It had only two stalls, and she was the only one in there, so Tifa picked >the one nearest to >the window and locked the door. She unbuttoned her short jean shorts >and wriggle out >of them. She hung them on the hook and slipped off her panties, also >putting them on the >hook. With that, she sat on the toilet, her butt dropping way down into >the bowl, >with her cheeks being pulled apart in the process. Elena: Again, a visual that I just don’t need in my life... Reno: Ain’t that the truth! >It was very quiet in the bathroom, and Tifa was kind of spooked. She >soon changed >that, however, with a windy little fart. Reno: That sounded dimily like a fog horn... Rude: That sounded like a semi-truck’s air horn. > Suddenly, Tifa felt her butt hole open up and a >little chunk of shit fell out with a splash. The splash seemed to echo >forever in the Elena: Echo...echo...echo...echo...echo...echo... Reno: Stupid...stupid...stupid...stupid... Rude: Yes you two are. >quite restroom. She pushed a little and two more chunks dropped one >after another with >loud splashes. Rude: *acting like an announcer* And here we are at the cannonball finals, remember, those turds that splash water on Tifa’s ass gets an extra ten points... Reno: You’ve been hanging out with me for waaaaaaaay to long dude. Rude: I know. >She was slightly disappointed, for she thought she was full of >droppings. Tifa farted a >few more times and felt her butt open again. The smile returned to her >face, realizing >that a bigger turd wanted out this time. Tifa found it weird hearing the >crackle around Elena: She has a poop fetish.... Reno: REALLY? I hadn’t NOTICED! >her anus. The log slid out very slowly, and Tifa could hear nd fnd feel >it. Tifa enjoyed > the feeling of defecating. Knowing Cloud couldn’t give her anal sex all >the time, >it was a good substitute. Reno: Since when is anal sex and taking a dump the same? Rude: How would YOU know? Reno: *holds up a Vincent/Reno Yaoi slash* Let’s just say that I am picked on a lot in the male/male slash catigory... Elena: So you thought you might try it out? Reno: No. >Tifa’s poo dropped without a splash. She looked down at it, it was >about 7 inches long >and 2 inches wide, which is normal for her. To her horror, it was stuck >halfway! Elena: Damn... she’s got a loose asshole... Reno: From all that fucking or all that shitting? Rude: Both. >Tifa continued to push and groan, as if she was in labor, but it was no >use. Elena: Labor and poop are not the same either... Reno: How do you know? Elena: I watched my mother in labor and taking a shit... she yelled more AFTER labor, but yelled more DURING the shit. Rude: That’s why you are messed up. >The shit did not move. A tear slid down Tifa’s face, realizing she wasn’t >going >anywhere for a while. Reno: Apparently, neither are we. >Just then, to Tifa’s surprise, she heard the bathroom door open. >“I'll bet a girl named Tifa is taking a dump in here!” >Tifa’s face turned bright red when she recognized the voice. It was >Cloud! Reno: Cloud comes to rescue her again? Rude: Make. It. Stop. >“In here, Cloud!” called Tifa as she unlocked the stall door. She didn’t >care what she >was doing. She wanted to be with Cloud again. >“Phew! Tifa, what’d you eat?!” demanded Cloud as he opened the door. Elena: *acting like Tifa* A whole cheese log... Reno: *acting like Tifa* A whole elephant... Rude: *acting like Tifa* A bag of oreos, two gallons of milk, three plates of spaghetti and you. Elena and Reno: *stare at Rude* Rude: What? Reno: YOU need to get out more... >“We just had a pepperoni pizza!” replied Tifa. >“So what’s taking so long?” >“Ummm……………..I’m a bit constipated.” >“A bit?!” >Tifa giggled. >“Let me see,” ordered Cloud. Reno: NO! NO! Don’t look that thing in the eye Cloud, you’ll fall in! Rude: RUN NOW CLOUD! >Tifa got up off the toilet, turned around, and bent over. Cloud gazed at >the shit hanging >from his wife’s gorgeous ass. Cloud tried prying her anus with his >fingers, but to no avail. >“Ow! Oow! Ooooowwwwww! Cloud, stop it!” snapped Tifa. Reno: That’s what we have been saying since the start of this fiction, Tifa... Rude: What a shitty fiction. Elena: *sighs* >“Sorry,” said Cloud. “I thing I have a more painless idea. Sit on the >toilet again.” >Tifa sat back down on the toilet. To her surprise, Cloud pulled his pants >down and >positioned his cock at the entrance of Tifa’s pussy. Before she could >say anything, Cloud >began to thrust, slowly at first, but gradually picking up speed. Tifa >moaned loudly in >responds to Cloud’s love. Soon it happened. Tifa clutched the toilet >seat as she orgasm,ed, Rude: Elena... have you ever orgasm,ed,? Elena: How mean... Reno: Look how its spelled... Elena: I’ve never done THAT before. >and to her surprise, the turd that was stuck I her ass dropped right into >the bowl. >“Oh Cloud, thank you!” said Tifa as she threw her arms around him, >buried her >face in his chest, and began to rock him. While she was doing this, she >continued to >fart loudly and gassily, and dropped chunks into the toilet, but Cloud >ignored them It was > a job well done. Reno: Gross Elena: Gross Rude: ...... >But all good things must come to an end. The bathroom door opened, >and the cops >came in. They marched right over to the lovers’ stall and grabbed >Cloud and dragged him >off of Tifa. Elena: *as Tifa* RAAAPEEE! He RAPED ME WHILE I WAS SHITTING! Rude: Gross Reno: I wonder what the cops thought? >As the police dragged Cloud out, Tifa let out one last fart to set him off Elena: As if he enjoys that? >Cloud Mows The Lawn……Again >By Rasso Elena: No More... no more... Rude: I think I need that puke bucket... Reno: Isn’t this what is called Scat play? >The shower water sprinkled out of the nozzle as the naked girl spread >it out all >over her gorgeous body. Reno: That sentence is the best thing in the whole story. > Cloud was mowing the lawn again, but this time Tifa decided to >stay in the shower. She still had a good view of him through the >window, and it was >possible that the neighbors could see her, but she didn’t care. >Tifa had not been feeling too good for the past few days. She wasn’t >sick, she had >just been eating a lot lately, then taking ipecac so she wouldn’t get fat. Reno: She’s not fat, she’s just got a nice ass and nice tits. Rude: Thank you Mr. Vocabulary. Elena: Yeah, use some more colorful words, cretin. >Soon her loneliness ended. She let out a sigh of relief as she heard >the Cloud >knock on the bathroom door. >“How are you feeling, Tifa?” asked Cloud, politely as he tried to catch >his breath. >“I feel terrible!” giggled Tifa. “Come in!” >With that, the door opened. Cloud was a gentleman, for he would often >check on her, Elena: Sure, he’ll fuck her in the ass and even when she has a turd hanging from her ass, but he is a GENTLEMAN Reno: Stuff it Ele... >yet never come in when Tifa was showering until she gave him >permission. He even stood > at the bathroom door if she didn’t. Cloud walked in, put the toilet lid >down, and had a seat. >“How’s the lawn?” asked Tifa sweetly. >“Boy, it’s getting tougher each time,” replied Cloud. >“Don’t tell me you’re getting old!” joked Tifa. >Cloud laughed back. “Well, it is 90 degrees out, and I’m drenched. >Plus, I had to take >the trash out.” Elena: Where can I find a man like that? Rude: You want a man that likes your shit fetish? Reno: Ugh... >A big smile appeared on Tifa’s face. That was the cue he wanted to get >into the shower >with her. He was too shy to ask explicitly, and Tifa liked that. >“Well,” began Tifa, trying to hide her excitement, “can you do me a couple of favors?” >“What?” >“I forgot my clothes. Would you mind getting them for me?” >“Sure!” exclaimed Cloud. “And the other?” >“When you bring my clothes in, get your naked butt in here and kiss >me!” >Slowly, the realization came to her. She needed to poop, and real bad >at that. Reno: Why did I not see that coming a mile away? Rude: Because you are strange. >Gathering her courage, Tifa crossed her legs real tight holding it, then >she took one >step out of the shower. >“So far, so good,” whispered Tifa to herself. Reno: Far from it, I’m sick already... Elena: I can see it coming far, far away. >She took another step toward the toilet, but, suddenly, she started to >leak liquid shit! Reno: *gag* Elena: shit... Rude: That is yet another visual that I do not need. >She felt it oozing down her leg, and realized the trouble she was in. >She stood there Elena: And what trouble we are in... Rude: I hate this... >with her legs crossed really tight, holding her poop in and trying to >think what to do. Reno: Two words of advice for you Tifa, Move...quickly. Elena: Yes, and no more bulimic behavoirs. Reno: Say-a-what-a? >Her thoughts were soon interrupted. Cloud returned to the bathroom >without warning. >Worse, he had pressed up against Tifa’s back and put one hand on her >shoulder. He had >startled her, and she started to poop on him! Horrified, Tifa jumped >out of the >shower and sat on the toilet. Unfortunately, she had forgotten to put >the lid up, so she >made a mess on the lid. Tifa wanted to relax, but she couldn’t because >she knew what >she had done. Eventually, she got the lid up, then finally relaxed and >just let it all >out in the toilet. Reno: That is so gross. Elena: *acting as if she’s on P.A.* Clean up... aisle four! Rude: Where is that puke bucket? >Tifa was farting bad and the stink was even worse. She was crying her >eyes out at the >mess she made. It wasn’t that she had never messed herself before, >but never a bathroom. >“I’m sorry, Tifa” cooed Cloud as he wrapped his arms around the >shitting girl. Elena: Lovely. Rude: What, Elena? Don’t you have someone who would hug you while you are shitting? Elena: No, nor do I want to. >“Just let everything out, babe, I’ll clean up.” With that, Cloud picked up >a roll >of paper towels and kneaded some into a wad. Tifa felt guilty as he >wiped the waste >off the floor. She understood very well why she loved that man. She >even cried a >little as he wiped her shit off of him. She just wanted to crawl into a >hole and die. Elena: So do I... so do I. Rude: You can say that again. DON’T EVEN! >Soon, she was done. She got up off the toilet and flushed, although >that didn’t >really do anything to kill the smell. Tifa put the lid down, revealing the >shit on the lid. >Cloud made another wad of paper towels, and then cleaned Tifa’s >droppings off of the lid. >“Shit!” grumbled Cloud. >“What happened?” asked Tifa. >“I ran out of paper towels.” >“Uh-oh.” >“Bend over,” ordered Cloud. Reno: Don’t do it Tifa, don’t do it! Rude: *grabbing trashcan* >Tifa did as she was told. She felt funny to stick her ass up at Cloud >when he told her to bend over. Suddenly, she felt a strange feeling >behind her. It was almost as if a snake was on her, and >she soon realized what was happening. He was eating the waste off >of Tifa’s back! Elena: Urk! I’m going to vomit now... Rude: Wait your turn, Reno’s got the bucket. Reno: *hurling into the trashcan* >Tifa gasped and put her hands over her mouth. She knew Cloud would >do a lot for her, >but she couldn’t believe he would eat her droppings. Tifa stood in >shock as Cloud Elena: Trust me, NOBODY would go that far... Rude: I wouldn’t do that for myself. Reno: *gag* Ugh. >continued to lap up her feces. She could hear him swallow it, too, and >giggle at how > much he cared for her. Reno: Think of yourself Man! Go to the store and grab some more towels! Elena: She’s sick, let her clean it up... Rude: *holding out Gil* I’ll even pay for it! Anything but that! >“Just relax yourself,” said Cloud softly as he swallowed a glob of Tifa’s >poop. Tifa felt >awful that he was going through all this trouble just for her, but she did >just that. >She didn't even care as she just let even more poop come out and pee >leak out of her. >Cloud quickly lapped it all up, and swallowed. Elena: PLEASE can’t we turn it off, my eyes are BURNING HERE! Tseng: *On P.A. System* No. >“That’s good, Tifa, just let everything out,” said Cloud again. Tifa >farted and giggled, >and soon all the waste was off of her. They then filled the tub and took >a long, romantic >bath together. Then they made love. Tifa realized how lucky she was to >have a man like >Cloud. It was a good day with a good dump, one that she would look >forward to again. Elena: Tell me Cloud at least brushed his teeth! Rude: *turning green* Reno: Elena, how could you think of that at a time like THIS? Elena: Men... >In The Park >By Rasso Elena: I’m not as fond of Rasso now... Rude: We haven’t read his other works. Elena: Tell me we don’t have to? Tseng: *on P.A.* I’m looking them up now. All Three Turks: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Tseng: *on P.A.* Watch the rest of the fiction and shut up. >Cloud, Tifa, Aeris, Cid, Barret, Cait Sith, Vincent, Red XIII, and Yuffie >were out in the >park, seated at the picnic table. They had just finished lunch and were >presently talking >about memories past. Rude: Didn’t Aeris die? Reno: I thought so. >Tifa suddenly stood up and headed for the bathroom. Cloud grinned, >knowing what was >about to happen. He winked at Tifa and pretended he didn't know. She >was his, but >still hot. Everyone would be turned off if they had known about her shit >shenanigans. Elena: LITTLE? LITTLE??? The man ate shit off of her! Rude: Don’t remind me. Reno: Me niether. >"Thank the Planet were were so close to the bathroom," she laughed >when she got there. >Then, out of the blue, she saw the dreaded sign on the ladies' room >door. >OUT OF ORDER Reno: Who didn’t see THAT one coming? Raise their hand... Elena: ... Rude: ... Tseng: *on P.A.* I am raising mine... Reno: Go figure. >"Fuck," groaned Tifa. "Why are all my bowel movements turning into >nightmares?" Elena: Because YOU are always so open about them... Reno: I knew the woman was full of shit, but this is ridiculous... Rude: You two stop with the shit. >With a sigh, she went around behind the barn. It was rather secluded, >with trees >and leaves keeping her well hidden, a good place for a girl to discharge >excretement. Reno: Wonderful... Rude: er... what a word for shit. Elena: That was almost lady like... Reno: *glares at Elena* What? Elena: ALMOST! >"I'll do this quickly," whispered Tifa as she began to undo her wrap->around black skirt. >She carefully removed her panties, as not to stain them. Reno: Every time she says ‘I’ll do this quickly’ she never does... Rude: Watch, another turd will get stuck... >Tifa stretched her anus wide and felt something slide out from behind. >Now there was 4 >inches sticking out, 4 fat inches of girl-poo. Tifa continued to push, but >the turd >would no longer budge. Elena: I didn’t know that pooping could be so... Rude: She’s addicted to pooping. Reno: I knew there was a problem with that girl. >"COME ON YOU LITTLE BITCH DON'T TEASE ME!" Tifa squealed. >"TIFA?!" cried a familiar soprano. >Tifa turned around in shock. >"AERIS!" she cried in a similar tone. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" >"Isn't it obvious," she giggled. >With that, Aeris slipped off her red jacket and began to unbutton her >pink dress. She hung >it on the branch of a nearby tree, as Tifa noticed Aeris wasn't wearing a >bra nor panties, >just her shoes. Reno: Why are they getting naked? Rude: I don’t know, but naked Aeris, HEY TSENG! WATCH THIS! Tseng: *on P.A.* Watching... Elena: *sniffle* So unfair... >"This is so damn scary!" laughed Tifa as she continued to push. Reno: YES it is... >"Right!" giggled Aeris as she squatted. The two girls began to shit in >unison. Elena: Ooooooooh boy... Rude: Can this get worse? Reno: *covers his friends mouth* Don’t say that! The walls have ears... *shifty eyes* >Suddenly, a tear rolled down Aeris' face. >"What's wrong?" Tifa asked her friend. Elena: *crying* This whole fiction! >"Oh, this just reminds me of an experiance with my first boyfriend, >Zack." >With that, Aeris closed her beautiful green eyes and began. >"Zack and I were driving through northern Midgar on the highways. >Wel,l I always >vowed never to shit or even fart in front of a guy. It just wasn't a lady >like thing to >do. Elena: Not that it has ever stopped me... Rude: What stinks? Reno: Did you just fart? Elena: Mayyyybe... Rude: Did you soil yourself? >Until then. And it was in the most embarrassing unlady like fashion. >We originally came >from Kalm and were on our way to Junon. I remember eating a huge >breakfast before >we left, but I couldn't shit then so I decided to hold it until we reached >Junon. In situations >like these, I never succumbed to defeat, so I was pretty confident my >butthole would >become victorious in the battle against the turds knocking on the door, >and I could take >care of my business properly like a lady should. Reno: This is so wrong... Rude: That is such a described paragraph for needing to take a shit. Reno: Was that a complement? Elena: Take it as you will... >"Anyways, during the entire trip I'd feel my stomach turn and the pain >increase as time >went on. I just told myself 'you can make it, Aeris girl' and thought >about other things. >It wasn't until we were about 1 hour away from the outskirts of Junon >that I thought >this could be the one battle I'm defeated in. There must have been >tons of waste >backed up in my bowels, and it was attacking my asshole with no >mercy. I >cleanched my buttcheeks together with full force and told myself to >hold out for an Reno: What do you mean Clench Butt cheeks? Rude: Oooh brother... Elena: I can’t watch... >hour until we got to the hotel. Due to my nervousness and the thought >of impending >doom caused me to sweat all over prefusely, and the sweat build-up in >my asscrack only >seemed to act as a lubricant. Reno: what a hot thought. Rude: Are you thinking of sex at a time like this? Elena: He’s ALWAYS thinking of sex. Rude: Now? Reno: yeah Elena: Now? Reno: Yeah. > Defeat seemed inevitable, and the pain in my intestines >was unbearable. And Zack started to notice. He looked over concerned >and asked >me what was wrong. I was biting my lip and the look of pain across my >face was >obvious, and I couldn't answer. He asked again, and slowly I asked if >we could pull >over to a nearby restroom. The sign showed the nearest place a >restroom would be, >would be about 15 minutes. I couldn't wait that long, and was terrified >by what might >happen. I continued to strain, but that did no good. Reno: Help, this isn’t going to be pretty. Elena: How about now? Reno: Yeah... There are two naked girls on the screen. Rude: THAT ARE SHITTING! >"Then the turd poked its head from out of my rectum. I was wearing a >navy blue colored >short skirt with no underwear, so the turd obviously hit the surface of >seat. I screamed >for him to pull over, and confused, he did. I had no other choice, I >figured shitting on >myself in the car would be more humiliating and would ruin my tights. >So I quickly >jumped out the car, and thank God I was wearing a skirt so I could pull >it up rather >quickly, and I squatted, right in front of my boyfriend, cleanched my >buttcheeks >with my hands as my asshole had the diameter of a tennis ball and I >unleashed my Reno: Her asshole was the diameter of a TENNIS BALL??? Rude: Maaaaaaan... talk about loose. >stinky brown load. It was watery and lumpy and the same time. I could >hear the shit >hitting the ground as I was squatting here off the side of the highway. I >was completely >disgusting. God knows what the people were thinking who were driving >by Reno: They were honking and video recording it. Rude: *weird voice* Honey... get the kids! Watch this! Elena: *weird voice* HEY Lookit that! >when they saw some woman shitting her guts out on the side of the >highway. And it >horrified me to know what my boyfriend was thinking. Shit must've >poured out of >my ass for a good 2 minutes. Reno: That’s a good shit. >"My ego and pride were shattered, and with my head down I asked my >boyfriend for >something to wipe my ass with. He got out of the car with a look of >disbelief on his >face and opened the trunk and grabbed some rags for me. Completely >defeated, >humiliated, and embarrrassed, I wiped my asshole thoroughly and >wiped the tiny >shit-stain on the inside of my tights, and pulled them back up. I >looked at my load on the Elena: Something stinks... Reno: You mean besides this fiction? Rude: Ewwwwwww... > ground and was startled at how huge a dump I took. We both got in >the car and I was >too embarrassed to say anything or give an explanation. He looked >just as >shocked and disgusted as I was. It was the most embarrassing >moment of my life." >"What happened after that?" asked Tifa, with a tear rolling down her >cheek. She realized > she was really touched by the story. Reno: Touched by a shit-story? Rude: You mean a Shitty story Elena: You guys are dumping the shit on thick, ya know? >"I pooped on my skirt so it was ruined. When I lamented this, he was >like, 'Don't worry,> it's just a skirt,' and he ripped it off with a big smile, leaving me in a >shirt but no pants, >like you are now. Well, we eualluallly got to Junon and we went to the >restaurant as >usual. The waiter was so polite, even though I'm sure he knew I was >bottomless. Zack > and I sat down in a booth and had a wonderful talk." Reno: How could someone NOT notice that? Elena: damn straight... >By this time, the final inches of feces had slid out of Aeris' anus. She >plucked a leaf >from a nearby tree and wiped her butt. Reno: Two words Aeris... Poison Ivy. Rude: No, poison sumac... Elena: gross... she just wiped her ass with a leaf... > Tifa, who still had five inches of poo hanging > from her anus, sighed in disappointment. She would soon be alone >again. But her spirits > were lifted when Aeris did something very unexpected: Before >dressing, she hugged >her friend and pecked her on the cheek. Reno: Bisexual! Rude: YURI!!! GIRL ON GIRL! >Tifa was a closet bisexual, and Cloud knew, but she had never been >kissed by a >girl before. She realized this was the beginning of something more. Reno: Yes, the end... Rude: Awwww, I’d actually like to watch two hot girls getting it on... Elena: With or without the shit? Reno: Yuri is yuri... Rude: Yeah. Tseng: Okay, you are free to go, Fiction is over. Reno: Good, now that it’s over, I am going to take a nice looooong shit. Rude: *joking* Need any help removing those stuck turds? Elena: I knew they were gay... Rude: ........................ Reno: *takes off after Elena* Elena: EEP! *runs away*