WARNING: Beyond this point, there is excessively badly written erotic porn being mocked. If you are of a delicate constitution, it is highly suggested that you do not read this entry. side effects may include dry mouth, nausea, vomiting, water retention, painful recollege, hallucinations, dementia, psychosis, death and haletosis. Schala: Either you people are sick in the head, or you have strange fetishes. Touga: Like us. Schala: Speak for yourself, bucko. And now, back to the fiction: I could feel his stare. Though it was pleasant. Then our eyes met and a smile crossed his face. As I stared into his eyes they seemed to glow under the light of the moon. Saionji: Watch out, it's werewolf time! He even looked more handsome in the moonlight. And I told myself that I would be crazy to pass up a man like this. Schala: Our sentiments exactly. Saionji: I wouldn't add in the 'passing up a man like that' bit though, she's just plain crazy. After everyone finished eating, all of the Kokiri got up and started to dance. Some of the Kokiri even played instruments. As the music drifted in the air Link took my hand in his. "Would you care to dance?" I looked at him and smiled. "Yes, I'd love to." He led me to where everyone else was and we started to dance. We danced and drank long into the night. And to show my appreciation I even did a solo dance. Then after I did my dance I went to sit down and rest. I was tired. Schala: I read the fic. I read it and read it until my eyes bled. Then I read it some more. Then after I did finish the fic I went to throw up in the toilet. I was sick. Link came and sat down beside me. "You look real tired." "Are you ready to retire." Link said as he put his hand on my shoulder. I nodded yes and tried to get up and walk. But I was so tired and had too much to drink that I stumbled. Catching me in his arms, Link led me back to where I was sitting. "I think it would be wise if you stay here tonight." Touga: Well, looks like the drugs are working. Saionji: On him or on her? " I have plenty of room and I can escort you back to the castle in the morning." Link looked at me with a worried look and I decided to stay. And that is how we spent every night together, even up to the night when I finally shared his bed. I started to know within side myself that Link was the one I wanted to be with. Even more so on the night when I shared myself with him...... Schala: Within side? What the hell is that supposed to mean? Saionji: Within the side of her head lies no brains? Touga: Within side doth titter the audience? It was a warm spring night and night had just arrived. Schala: It stands to reason that if it's a warm spring night then the night has at some point arrived. Does this woman not have a thesaurus? Touga: Likely she thinks it's a dinosaur. Link and I were sharing the quiet sounds of the night together. Saionji: How do you share silent sounds? Schala: Likely by gagging her for a little while. I had been seeing Link for a little more then a month. Schala: A month? Ooooooh... she waited a whole month! Touga: Slut. Saionji: Whore. Schala: Trooolllop! The Spring Festival had come and gone and the warm weather was finally returning. All signs of winter were almost gone and my time in Hyrule was about to end for this year. In two weeks I would be leaving for the city of Tar Vera. Knowing this made me sad to go since I did not want to leave Link. Touga: Without screwing his brains out, first. I had finally found someone that I truly loved and I would have to leave him behind when it was time to leave. Schala: Well, you normally leave things behind when it's time to leave. Saionji: You're rather nitpicky, aren't you? Schala: She gives me plenty of fodder. Saionji: Point. Even Link was not happy after I told him that I would be leaving soon. When I told him his face went from happy to a depressed one. He wanted to be with me and he wanted me to stay in Hyrule with him. But I was going to spend every last minute I had left with him enjoying it. We had remained quiet for quite some time, then it was Link who broke the silence. "Jenna........ it has been a wonderful almost two months with you......." Touga: And this has been a horrible almost ten minutes reading this fic. I watched him as he stuttered to find his words. "Even as short as it was, I really enjoyed the time I've spent with you." "I wish you did not have to leave." "I do not think I will ever find another quite like you." Touga: Hopefully you're right. If you're lucky. Saionji: I doubt this is the first Mary Sue to capture Link's heart and mind and body. Link said as a look of sadness appeared in his eyes. At that moment I was on the verge of tears. I was in love with him. I leaned over and softly placed my lips on his and kissed him tenderly. Then he looked deeply into my eyes and told me he loved me. With those words I began to cry. I had never felt this way before. Like the way he makes me feel when I'm with him. Saionji: *sniff* Schala: Tissue? Saionji: I'm not crying for her, I'm crying because this fic is making my brain hurt. He gently took his hand and wiped away my tears. Then he put his hand underneath my chin and slowly lifted my head up until our eyes met. With his hand, he drew my face close to his, gently placed his lips on mine and kissed me softly. At that moment I took the opportunity to deepen the kiss. Schala: Uh... do I hide my eyes now? Touga: Oh this is just the foreplay. You should be ok. As our tongues met I started to feel his hands caressing my body. As he gently caressed my body, I let out small moans into his mouth. Then he moved his lips to my neck, placing sweet nibbles on it as his hands trickled up my back to the clasp of my dress. Little by little he slowly started to remove my dress and I felt my body quivering under the gentle caressing of his broad hands as he pulled the dress down off my legs and tossed it aside. Slowly he moved back to my lips and kissed me forcefully, his tongue begun probing my mouth. My tongue slowly met his, causing it to intertwine with his, tasting the sweetness of him. Then we broke off the kiss and I looked into his dark blue eyes as I reached up to remove the belt from around his waist. All: .... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Touga: Damn, I don't even move -that- fast. Slowly I pulled off his belt letting it fall to the ground, then I slipped my hands under his tunic and swiftly removed it as his lips went to my breasts. As his lips and tongue teased the nipples of my breasts, I felt new feelings swarm threw my body. Schala: I can't watch. *hands over her eyes* Touga: New feelings swarm threw... the swarm threw or the feelings swarm threw? What's a feelings swarm? Saionji: It's the sensation you get when you're about to heave up your lunch after reading this shtick. My back arched and groans of pure pleasure escaped past my lips. Never had I felt such feelings before. Never had my body ever felt such pleasure. Then Link slowly moved his lips down my body till he reached my navel. When he kissed it a giggle passed my lips. Then he looked up and we looked into each other's eyes as I reached up to his chest and placed my hands on the lace that held the collar together of his white under shirt. His body started quivering as my hands worked across his chest while I removed his white undergarments. Then I yanked it off, exposing his beautiful heavenly naked body. A body of pure heaven. Schala: *hands still over eyes* A disgustingly hellish fiction. A fiction of pure hellishness. Our lips met again as he gently pushed me down onto his bed, climbing on top of me. I begun to feel his heart beating in his chest as his lips moved back to the nipples on my breasts. Soft moans of pleasure passed my lips as he nibbled gently on my nipples causing them to become erect. As he teased my nipples with his lips and tongue, I felt his handwork its way down my body. First to my thighs, then between my legs. He gently brushed his hand across the lips of my mound and I groaned to tell him to continue. Slowly his fingers probed around the inside of my flower, sending strange new pleasurable feelings cursing Touga: Yes, screw you, you ho! Schala: Slut! Saionji: Troooollllop! threw my body. I moaned louder as his fingers caressed the inside of my mound, moving in a slow up and down motion. Then his fingers brushed against my clit, and I screamed out as a pulse of pure ecstasy raced threw me. Schala: THROUGH! God dammit, it's THROUGH! Saionji: Are you peeking through your fingers? Schala: Shut up. I grabbed his hand and pulled it closer, telling him that I wanted more. Taking the hint, he teased me, as his hand brushed across my clit every few strokes. My body shuddered under his touch as my soft moans turned into cries of pleasure and pure ecstasy. As Link's fingers teased and caressed my mound, his fingers moved down until they brushed over the entrance. Slowly Link inserted a finger, slipping it into the wetness probing me inside, causing animal like cries to pass my lips. Saionji: Tiger sex? Touga: Later, my love. Then I arced my back and screamed in pure ecstasy as he begun to thrust his broad fingers deep inside my hot wetness. New feelings flooded threw my body, rushing to my head like a sugar high, Schala: A sugar high? Touga: Don't ask. as his fingers pushed their way in and out of my sleek beautiful body. Saionji: Of course, Mary, we know you're beautiful. Mary Sues always are. With each thrust, my legs shuddered sending momentary shocks to my lower organs. Schala: Whoa... better get to a bathroom quick, Mary. Touga: Getting the runs in the middle of orgasmic bliss would make me shudder too. Then I arched my back, my body screaming in ecstasy as his movements became faster. I reached up and dug my nails into his muscular back as the eternal bliss raced through my every vein. I began feeling jolts of pure hot passion surging through my lower organs , Touga: Sweetheart, that isn't passion that's surging there in the 'lower organs'. Schala: Ew. through my bones as I felt myself starting to climax. My back arced again and I grunted in cat like sounds Saionji: Tiger sex! See, I told you! Schala: She 'arced'. as he begun to thrust his fingers deeper, upping the movement. My hands felt his back become sweaty as I dug my nails in deeper. Then my slender body twisted as I came to full climax, and I screamed in ecstasy as my warm juices gushed down his hand. All: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Saionji: I didn't need that visual. Schala: Barf bag... need... barf bag... Falling back painting, I looked into his eternal blue eyes. " I want to make love to you." I whispered to him as he ate my body with his hungry stare. "I've wanted to make love to you from the first day I met you." Link said as his hungry lips returned to my beautiful neck. Touga: Cannibalism, it's what's for dinner. Then I bucked my head back and cat like sounds escaped passed my lips Schala: Tiger sex again. Saionji: How many more times are we going to see ... wait... escaped passed? Which is it? as he pressed his hot body down against mine. As I ran my nails down his sweaty back and I felt our hearts starting to beat faster as our bodies became hungry for each other. Schala: I'd like fries with that. Saionji: Need any ketchup? Suddenly strange new feelings begun to surge through me as our passions ignited. Schala: Oh, such as that strange pressure building in your 'lower organs'? Then as he penetrated deep inside my sweaty body, the feeling rushed through me like a raging river, the feeling of.......... Schala: That not so fresh feeling 'down there'? Saionji: A certain pressure in your 'lower organs'? Touga: Honey, he got the wrong hole. feeling like a women. All: ... Saionji: I knew it! She's an alien! Never had I felt this way before. I felt my body beginning to surge with strange new feelings as I let my virginity slip away. Schala: Your virginity doesn't slip away, sweetie. Saionji: And how would you know? Schala: Um... nevermind. As we made love I whispered in his ear that he made me feel like a women and to my surprise he said I made him feel like a man. We made love long into the night. For filing each other's hot desires and fantasies. Touga: For filing? And I thought to myself that this was one thing I did not want to miss. I wanted to drink in every part of him. And after it was over I could not wait to feel him again. The next few days were depressing. Us knowing that I was leaving in less then two weeks made us depressed. Schala: And us knowing that this fic isn't over with yet makes us depressed. Saionji: And how. The nights were spent mostly quiet except for the occasional sigh. I was beginning to think I'd never be this happy again. Link made me feel special. He made me feel All: like a woman. like a women. And he was my first. "Do I really have to leave?" I asked myself. But then I remembered that the places I travel to every year were counting on me so I had to go. Love or not. It was the day before I was leaving. I was at the market place for the last time for this year. I was at my stand selling what I had left when I saw Link enter the market and headed for where I was. As I watched him I wondered if this was going to be the last time I was ever going to see him. I began to cry when he approached me. Taking his hand he gently wiped away my tears and told me not to cry. He looked deeply into my brown eyes and told me he had something to tell me. Then he got down on one knee and produced a small gold box. He opened it to reveal a gold diamond ring inside. With a loud gasp I clopped Schala: Clopped? How does one clop? Touga: Clop on, clop off, clop on clop off, the clopper. my hands over my mouth. Then he took my hand in his. "Will you marry me?" He asked with hope in his eyes as I started to cry again. "Oh my Goddesses......yes, yes I will!" I said in between tears. He took my left hand and placed the ring on my finger. Then he got up, we embraced and started to kiss. Now I knew I did not have to leave. Hyrule was meant to be my home. We were destined to be together. Summer finally arrived and signs of spring were slowly fading. I was spending my days at Hyrule castle helping with the chores and making plans for my upcoming wedding. Link spent his days building a home in the Lost Woods for us to live in after we were married. I was excited about our upcoming wedding. I was marring Link. Schala: You most certainly were. Touga: This is one of the first things I've agreed with so far. Saionji: Well, I give her a few points for honesty. I finally had the man I fell in love with. He was special to me. And he was building a home for us to live in. A home for us to raise our family in. Link told me he wanted to be a father and that most of all he wanted a son. We had talked about having children together. When I first started my traveling, I did not want children, but now that I was marring Link, I decided I wanted to have children with him. Having children by him would make them strong and beautiful, since Link was strong and beautiful himself. Schala: Because gods forbid those kids be ugly and weak. Saionji: The thought of her spawning frightens me. Touga: Thankfully that's in a later chapter. Even my friendship with Princess Zelda and her father grew stronger when we told them about our engagement and that we were going to have children. Since Zelda was not betrothed and had not yet wed, this was the closest thing to her being a mother and the King being a grandfather. Now that we were to wed my life was almost complete. Schala: Almost? Saionji: *nods sagely* No *real* tiger sex yet. (To be continued...)