Down the Road 
As winter arrived early (earlier then normal) 

Helmholz: How about later and then not so normal?

the cold winds became too much for the crops to handle. I had to go harvest what we had before the snow started to fall. Since we had a storage room bellow the house, 

Stratski: Ah yes, I like to have my storage rooms bellow my houses, too.
Helmholz: It's called a "basement".

Link and I harvested what crops we had and stored them in the food cellar. Then we moved all of the animals into the barn to keep them from getting sick. After the preparations were made, we waited for the winter snow. 

Vance: I think I see a flake.
Stratski: No no, that's just JennaMarySue. It hasn't started yet.

A few days later the snow begun to fall. 

Helmholz: And we begun to feel ill all over again.
Vance: We didn't get much of a holiday vacation from this thing.
Stratski: At least fallofrain was nice enough to lay off and let us have Christmas and New Years.

It got real cold in the house so I had to stay by the fire with our small son. Link Jr was now four months old. And getting cuter with each passing day. He was now crawling, and when he gets on the floor he crawls everywhere.

Helmholz: ... This writer needs to read a child development book. Babies at four months DON'T CRAWL ALL OVER THE PLACE!
Stratski: Helm... your blood pressure, careful.

I was starting to teach our son at his early age. While Link went to the castle to work with his men I stayed home to teach and care for our son. Even though I provided most of the teaching, Link did his part as well. I watched when there were a many a day when Link would stay home just to be with our son. I knew how much our son meant to him. Next to me Link Jr was his pride and joy. Since the snow was bad this year, I stayed by the fire most of the day, each day I would read to him. I wanted him to grow up smart at an early age.

Vance: Cause his momma is sure stupid.

Link and I agreed that with each child we had we would start teaching them as soon as possible. 

Stratski: *groan* She's planning on more?

One night I was sitting by the fire with Link and our son teaching him to read. 

Helmholz: Damn, that's one smart kid to be teaching Link how to read already.

Link had a children's book that taught kids how to count. As Link pointed to the pictures that showed how to add our son did something amazing. "See my son, if you take two apples and add them to the one you already have." "You get three apples." Link said as he pointed to the pictures. "See, one plus two is three." Link smiled as our son pointed to the pictures. Then the next thing he did was shocking. 

Vance: What, he sat up and said 'Screw this MarySue bullshit, I'm outta here!'
Stratski: He suddenly acted like a real infant for once?
Helmholz: I know! He spoke his first word and it was 'BULLSHIT!'

"So my son what do you get when you add one and two?" "Three." Link answered. Just then our son pointed to the single apple, then to the two apples then he held up three fingers before looking at his father and giggling. 

Helmholz: ... I... 
Stratski: Careful...
Helmholz: Four month olds do not know how to count!
Vance: This is JennaMarySue's child, Helm. You shouldn't be surprised.

A shocked look crossed my face as I exchanged glances with my husband. "Oh my....Did you see that honey?" "He added one plus two and answered three!" 

Vance: *mutter* Smarter than his parents are, obviously.

My eyes seemed to glow as I looked at Link. The same shock showed on his face. "He is going to grow up to be one smart kid, Link my love." "So far we've done a good job with him." I watched as a smile crossed Link's face. "Yes we have my darling, I know he will be the smartest kid in Hyrule" 

Stratski: Only the best for JennaMarySue.

Link responded. He then leaned over and kissed me. "I love you my wife." I watched as our son pointed to the pictures in the book before I cuddled into Link's arms. We sat for awhile before I went to put our son to bed. "It's time for bed sweetie." I said as Link leaned over and kissed our son on the head before I took him upstairs. Right before I ascended the stairs, I took little Link's hand and gently waved it at his father. "Say good night to daddy." Then he giggled as I walked up the stairs. 
After I put him in his cradle and waited for him to go to sleep, I went back down stairs and spent the rest of the night with Link by the fire. "He is a sleep." I said as I snuggled into Link's arms. I laid there, against Link's chest watching the crackling of the fire. While he massaged my body I let my thoughts drift. As Link massaged me it felt soo good. His hands moved across my body as if they were gliding. His grip was firm but good against my sore muscles. I had spent that entire day cleaning. So I welcomed the gentle grip of his big broad hands. 

Helmholz: For handling dumb broads, of course, what better use?

My thoughts drifted away and the void opened up around me. 

Nanaki: What? JennaMarySue has /thoughts/? That's friggin' scary, man. 
Stratski: Hey, where'd you come from?

Then I begun to hear Link's voice inside my mind, his thoughts, his passions. 

Nanaki: ...But she didn't hear his one incessant "SMITE ME NOW, GOD!" thought... Wait...you can read thoughts? Hey, what am I thinking now, baby?" ::gets slapped:: "Ow! Damnit, you really CAN read thoughts, can't you, you little minx...""

The connection between us became full. 

Nanaki: That could be taken wrong six ways to Sunday. What's really frightening is that she probably /meant/ it to be taken as such.

I let my thoughts drift into his mind. Told him how I felt, told him how much I loved him. As the sound of the fire crackling ringed through my ears, Link filled into my soul. 

Kaiylet: Which wasn't a hard thing to do, since it was so shallow.
Nabeshin: ...Much like how nougat fills a Snickers bar. ...Mmmmm, Snickers.
Helmholz: Where did these people come from?
Vance: Guest MSTers, I think. Off blackgate.
Stratski: No fair, they get to leave again, we're stuck reading the whole thing!

We began to feel each other, feel each other inside. 

Helmholz: Yeah, I always wondered what your innards felt like, Stratski.
Stratski: Ugh. Let's not go there. I like my intestines just fine without you touching them.

I rolled over and looked into Link's deep blue eyes, and I saw the desire burning in them. 

Vance: The desire to burn her!

For a moment, his eyes seemed to glow against the red glow of the fire

Helmholz: I have a hard time imagining this. Is she putting his eyeballs by the fire?
Stratski: No, see, they've got to be aliens.
Vance: Aliens?
Stratski: Yes, look at all the references. Glowing eyes, babies that can do simple mathematics at four months of age. Tigress grunts and inexhaustible sex...
Helmholz: You've got a point... never thought of it that way...
Vance: Let's pray they never intend an invasion. 

, and I was mesmerized by them. Then I leaned forward, pressed my lips against his and kissed him deeply. As we kissed I got lost in time, lost in his kiss, and my body got 

all: Lost

lost to his touch. 

Helmholz: Tch. She's way too predictable.

I felt the hot desire growing between us, our passions growing stronger. Then I let myself get taken away, as I slowly laid down and opened myself to him. I eagerly started to remove his clothes so his awaiting manhood would be restricted no more. First his belt, his tunic, then I undid the lace that held his white undergarment together and pulled it off exposing his heavenly naked body. 

Helmholz: Throw him to the stars!

Then I threw my arms around him and pulled him down on top of me. I whispered in his ear that I wanted him to take me. That I wanted him to fill me up with his love. 

Stratski: Five dalla, me fucky, fucky. Me love you long time.
Vance: Five bucks is a bit much, you think?
Helmholz: A nickel. Hell... she'd do Link for free.
All: ...
Stratski: Slut!
Vance: 'Ho!
Helmholz: Troooolllop!

I listened to the crackling of the fire as Link caressed my naked body with his hands and lips. We both let ourselves get lost in time, lost to each other's touch. Only the sound of our two hearts beating together was heard. As we moved against each other the red glow of the fire reflected against our skin. Its warmth gave us comfort as we made love. Long into the night we fulfilled each other's desires, each other's fantasies. I let myself slip into time, and get taken away on the wings of love. 

Stratski: *groan* Calgon, take me away!

The love that came to me from the heavens. When I was with Link I was in heaven. 
The winter snow became worse a few days later. One day we had a snowstorm so we had to stay inside by the fire to keep warm. This was the worst winter Hyrule had seen in twenty years. I worried that the cold would get to our son. I did not want him to get sick, so for the next few days Link and I slept by the fire with our son to keep him warm. 

Stratski: Kinky. Damn. She gets it on with the fairies, has Link every night, and now she's getting incestual!

I hoped it would all end quickly since our anniversary was only a week away. I wanted to get him something special, but if the snow did not stop soon I would not be able to get to the Market to get him a gift. Last fall after we got married the winter was a calm and mild one. There was hardly any snow and a mild cold. The autumn last year was even warm. 
But for some reason this year the snows came early and heavy. I even got concerned about the Zora and Goron races since each was not very adaptable to the extreme cold. Link and I worried that those races would have survival problems. Since the Zoras were an aquatic people, the water where they live remains warm. And if their water gets too cold, they might freeze to death. The Gorons live high up on Death Mountain, but they need warm climates to live in. If the cold gets too extreme, they might not survive. We especially worried about Princess Ruto. She was the kind to go out, and spend the day finding ways to improve Hyrule's water source or Zora's Domain itself. Usually being cooped up was not her style, and she seems to get wiry if she remains in one place for to long. We though she might try to go outside to get away from being cooped up all day long. She never listens to her father, always sneaking around. So we thought she might try and sneak out, and that could be bad news. 

Helmholz: Yes, see how JennaMarySue really *cares* about other people.
Vance: I think she sounds racist. I mean, those poor races just can't take care of themselves like the good humans can!
Helmholz: Guys... I think she's going to off Ruto soon.
Stratski: What makes you think that?
Helmholz: Simple deduction. Ruto was supposed to mary Link at one point. She's a Sage. She's a princess. You watch, I'll bet you guys five bucks each that she'll off Ruto to take her place. 
Vance: Then off Zelda so she can be queen.
Stratski: Damn... scheming little ho, isn't she.

With that in mind, we decided that we should keep an eye out on her. 

Vance: Good god, they're so bonded now that they share one eye that they can pluck out?

One day in particular, it got extremely cold. It was the coldest Hyrule had gotten in twenty years. Link and I were sitting in front of the fire with our son. We had wrapped ourselves with heavy wool blankets and huddled together to stay warm. The house had gotten cold, so cold that even Lilly, Navi and Aria had to go to the little huts that we built upstairs for them to sleep in, so their wings would not get numb, preventing them from flying. While Link and I were huddled together under the blankets, a knock came at the door. 

Stratski: Dominos pizza guy! Sorry, just a bit late, but your pizza is frozen, so it'll still be good!

Since it was snowing and the cold was so intense, 

Nanaki: *facepaws* Cold and snow generally go together, yes?

we thought that someone would be crazy to venture outside in that terrible weather. Link and I exchanged worried glances. "Who could that be out in this awful weather?"

Kaiylet: You, MarySue. Please. End your life for the sake of us all.
Nanaki: *facepaws* /YOU/, DUMBASSES! Honestly. God, get me out of here before I claw my own eyes out. I am Nanaki, son of Seto, and I do fear something! /This/!
Vance: Uh oh... the guest MSTers are back.

I said as I gave Link a worried look. "I'll go see who it is." Link said as he got up dragging the heavy blanket behind him. I got up, wrapped my blanket around me, wrapped one around our son, then followed Link to the door. Undoing the latches, Link slowly opened the door. What we saw on the other side shocked us. 

Helmholz: Hi, I'm from social services and I've noticed that you've been neglecting your alien son. So we're here to take him away. If you prove to the state that you can take care of him, we might let you have him back after you pay these set fines and go to group therapy.
Nanaki (to Helmholz): Yeah, but any therapists they see are gonna need therapists in turn. Think of the repercussions! I can see the headlines now. 'Therapists of the world keel over and die!'

There in the doorway stood the figure of a female Zora. Princess Ruto, wrapped in a heavy deep blue cloak, stood there ankle deep in the snow half frozen. 

Helmholz: Snow is frozen. Otherwise it's water.
Stratski: Or slush.
Helmholz: We are not discussing the contents of JennaMarySue's brain, Strats.
Nanaki: The hell? How do you -half- freeze snow?
Nabeshin: Simple! You forget about the laws of nature!
Kaiylet: I think it was a misplaced modifier. 
Nabeshin: There's a lot of misplaced modifications that could have helped this fic...like the application of the Delete key to the original text files.
Nanaki: Or the laws of MarySue. Shame on us.
Nabeshin: Writing that badly has to be a talent of some sort.
Stratski: Are you guys done yet? Sheesh.

"Oh my god, what are you doing out in this ungodly weather?!" I said with pure shock in my voice. Dazed, she looked at us then staggered to the door. Link reached out and grabbed Ruto by the arm and pulled her inside. Removing the cloak, I led Ruto to sit by the fire. With haste I grabbed a heavy wool blanket and wrapped it around the half frozen Zora. 
Then I went into the kitchen and made a cup of hot coco to give to her. After I handed her the cup, Link and I looked at her with unblinking eyes, 

Helmholz: Further proof of the alien theory!

"So tell me again why you were out in that awful storm." I said with doubt in my voice. 

Vance: Again? She never told you why in the first place.

The adult Zora looked from me to Link, then answered in a muffled tone. "I was out examining ways to improve water flow from Lake Hylia, when the storm broke catching me in it." Reading over her statement again in my mind, it didn't make much sense. There had to be more to the story then what she was telling us. I looked at her squarely, as she looked down into her cup. "C'mon Ruto, there has to be a real reason why you were out there." "I just find it hard to believe that you were actually out there to check on the water source. " "Tell me the real reason. " Ruto looked back up at me, then her face faltered. 

Stratski: I've been secretly plotting to kill you both. JennaMarySue, you stole Link from me and turned him into this abysmally tainted thing that I don't recognize anymore. Link, I'm doing this for your own good. Now, hold still, this won't hurt... too much.

(To be continued.)