The LKX Chronicles --==+++v2.0+++==-- Location: Saotome’s Sushi & Sumo Restaurant on the eastern shore of China Hello and welcome to ‘The LKX Chronicles’ the new name for my MSTs. If you think back [wayyyyyy back] to the last MST of Pokétreck 8&9 I managed to take over the world, but pissed off the wrong people and ended up falling from my space station to the middle of China. Now I look for poor souls to torment on my way back to my home in the US. I’ve managed to hitch-hike to the eastern part of China where I hope to get a boat/plane/something ticket to the US. If you are wondering how I’m keeping track of this w/o the equipment of the Lemon Labyrinth, I did what any decent person in my position would do: kidnap some corporate guy and steal his lap-top. ^_~ Well, I figure that while I wait to find a ride, I can have some fun. So I’ll add more when I find some victims. Hey wait a minute.....*Smacks head* Why didn’t I think of this before? --Meanwhile Location: Lemon Labyrinth South Carolina, USA Ash: Um.... Where’s the boss? Alex: I dunno. Luna: Its been months since we’ve seen him. Icy: Why are we still waiting here? Let’s escape! Alex: It’s a labyrinth remember? Icy: ...hmmmm *Idea Lightbulb* follow me Location change - Lemon Labyrinth laundry room. Icy: Ok, Alex. Give me your sword. Alex: Um.... Icy: You can trust me. Alex: You saying that makes me want to give it to you even less.... huh? Hey! Where is it? Icy: Ugh.... you had to pick now to loose your sword... Well I got another idea, you all better be ready to run. *Starts slamming head into water heater* Ash: What the hell are you doing? Icy: Just *Clang* go *clang* [Everyone starts to leave when they hear **BLAM**. Icy had made the heater blow up (and him along with it) and the fire is starting to spread, which in turn causes other things to blow up.] Alex: Oh shit. That motherfucker is trying to kill us! Luna: Run! ...huh? Hey! Wait for me! [They all run out of the laundry room, up the stairs, down the hall, out of the main room, and into the maze, where emergency lights are flashing and small lights show the way out] Ash: Well I’ll be damned, he did know what he was doing. There’s an emergency escape system. Icy: Of course, I may die constantly, but I’m not stupid. Luna: Come on, let’s get out of here before this whole place collapses on us. Location Change - LKX’s back yard. Ash: We.... We’re finally free! Alex: So... Um what now? Luna: Ya know, I may actually miss those fucked up stories. Alex: I think you’ve been in there too long. Luna: Hey, Alex, isn’t that the Sword of Althena over there in the grass? Alex: How the hell did it get out here? Let me go get it. [Walks over] Huh? WHAT!? IT’S A LIE!! Luna: What’s wrong Alex? [Walks over]. What’s that note on the sword? ... ‘Alex & Jessica 4-ever’ ...YOU SON OF A BITCH! Alex: No, wait, I, but, not, Kyle, Jess, no, who, you, huh, I DIDN’T DO IT! [Luna grabs the sword and prepares for a standard decapitation swing, but she disappears before she can get at Alex] Alex: Huh... where’d she go? Icy: She just disappeared. Ash: Let’s look around. [They walk to a playground that is next to a tennis court, but aren’t on the sand for 5 seconds before Icy is run over by a car and dies.] Ash: So, um.... any clue where we are? Alex: Hmmm... let’s read those signs on the fence to the tennis court. Ash [Reading out loud]: Have you seen this Hobo? Alex [Reading out loud]: Step 1 - Turn key ; Step 2 - Push pedal; Step 3- Have fun!. Ash: What is that? Local person: That’s our driving handbook. Ash: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! We’re in New York! Alex: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! We’re in California! Icy: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! We’re in my grandma’s panties! Ash / Alex: Huh!!!!???? Local Person: Um, are you lost? ------ Location: Saotome’s Sushi & Sumo [Men’s Bathroom] Restaurant on the eastern shore of China Lunar Knight: Well, I managed to get a webcam to hook up to the laptop, so I don’t have to type so much. I think I have finally found today’s cast. Two of which are currently locked in the toilet stalls. The other, is right here with me. Luna: Hi there perverts! Now, how did I get here again? Lunar Knight: I teleported the sword to you and set a trap for the first person to touch it to be teleported here. I’m glad to see that you actually WANT to do this. It saves me lot’s on knockout drugs. Luna: Well, it’s fun. But if you could teleport the sword, couldn’t you just teleport home? Lunar Knight: I’ll pretend you didn’t just point out my stupidity. Luna: Ok, but do you have to do this in the men’s bathroom? Lunar Knight: What? You want me to get a fucking movie studio? Get in the fucking stall! [Luna walks into stall #3] *Click* Lunar Knight: I’ll lock that, just in case. Luna: Hey, someone forgot to flush! Lunar Knight: Now, introducing today’s cast. Luna: And some guy named Joe ‘Wuz here’ Lunar Knight: *Ahem* You already know the person in stall #3, Luna. Now, in stall #2 we have an old friend of ours who was trying to get a job in this very restaurant! Imagine the luck of finding him in a place like this! It’s Cartman! Cartman: Hey! Let me out of here you fucking bastard! I need to go practice my sumo! And it smells like Kenny’s house in here! Lunar Knight: And lastly, we have... {Stall #1}: Yahoooo! Lunar Knight: Um... we have. {Stall #1}: Yahoooooooooo! Lunar Knight: *Ahem* We have.... {Stall #1}: YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! * Cartman: What the hell is up with him? Lunar Knight: Um.. I could only get enough knockout drugs to get you in here, the only other thing I had was a 50 lb. sack of sugar. Cartman: Hey, I want some! Lunar Knight: Anyway........ In stall #1 we have *drumroll* {Stall #1}: YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Lunar Knight: Damnit, just shut the hell up Dan! Well there you have it, your fucking cast. Now START THE DAMN LEMON! [Some guy in the corner presses a button] ~~~~~ Suddenly, Ash walks over to Brock and they start making out. ~~~~~ {All Stalls}: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! Yahoo! Dan: That’s my line, Luna! Luna: Hey, I like this kinda stuff! Lunar Knight: Damnit! REWIND!!! REWIND!!!!! [The man presses a button, waits a minute, then presses another button] ~~~~~ Pokémon: The Next Pikachu! On the last [you-know-what] the U.P.S. Rapidash found a way out of the Chaos Zone using a very special brick of cheese. And I'm probably going to be sued by George Hamilton for that poem. Anyway, on with the next episode of: ~~~~~ Luna: Hey Icy, what are you eating? Icy: Some cheese I stole from Ash. Luna: Ummm..... *Blam!* [Icy’s head explodes and Luna just keeps walking along] ~~~~~ Pokémon: The Next Pikachu! Admiral Mewtwo will be visiting the Rapidash in this episode, and since he's normally just the guy giving the missions, he'll be getting a guest-starring role in this episode. Also guest-starring will be Peco from Breath of Fire 3, but since I don't like the little onion, you can expect to see him maimed or killed. Oh yeah, there might be a scene with some characters from the show Histeria! Okay, enough of that, on with the show! Episode X: The Onion Wars Pokédate: 30706.05 Location: Sector 14 of the PokéZone The Scene: Docking Bay 4 Just about everybody except for Brock and Abra are gathered in the docking bay waiting for Mewtwo's arrival. Pikachu is, of course, getting laid in a corner of the room. Suddenly, the docking bay doors open, and Mewtwo's ship arrives. All of a sudden, the Star Wars 'empire' theme plays, and Mewtwo walks down the ramp of his shuttle through a wall of smoke. Music: Bum, bum, bum, bump ba dum, bump ba dum! Mewtwo: I've always wanted to do that! Pikachu: (stops fucking and goes to greet him) Sir! Welcome to the Rapidash, sir! Mewtwo: Hey, thanks, great to be here! Meet my sluts! (Jenny and Joy walk down the ramp with their hands on each other's asses.) ~~~~~ Dan: Yahoo! ~~~~~ Pikachu: Whoa, cool! Can I borrow them? Mewtwo: What?! No! Hey, where's my quarters? I wanna get some rest. Oddish: Right this way, sir. Mewtwo: Hey, you're cute! Want to ride a 12" cock? Oddish: Umm...umm... ~~~~~ Luna: Yahoo! Dan: Stop that! ~~~~~ The Scene: The Bridge, about five minutes later (Pikachu's sitting in his chair getting a blowjob, and everyone else is doing their job.) Charmander: Hey, captain, I'm detecting something weird on the fourth planet in the third system of the eighth sector of the PokéZone. Pikachu: What the hell are you talking about? Charmander: Well, that planet is supposed to be uninhabitable, but I'm reading a few hundred life signs down there, most of them sluts. ~~~~~ Dan: Yahoo! Cartman: Will you stop that? It is REALLY getting on my fucking nerves. ~~~~~ Pikachu: SLUTS!!!!!!! Take us there, buddy!!! And call Mewtwo, tell him what's going on. He's gonna love this!! The Scene: Mewtwo's Quarters (Jenny has handcuffed Joy's hands behind her back, and she's fucking her in the ass with a strap-on. Hmm....that's a nice mental image..... Oh yeah, Mewtwo is watching them.) ~~~~~ Dan: Yahoo! ~~~~~ Jenny: (to Joy) Come on, scream for me, bitch! Mewtwo: (to himself) Heh heh, I love my sluts! (suddenly, his personal viewscreen flashes with a picture of Pikachu) Pikachu: Hey, admiral, we just detected a planet full of sluts! You want us to change course? Mewtwo: Hell yeah! Let's go! Pikachu: (watching Jenny and Joy) Uhh...what? Huh? Mewtwo: Stop watching the sluts! ~~~~~ Luna: I kinda wish Alex was here... Cartman: Why? So you can whip his ass for looking at that? Luna: Um.... Er... heh.... Cartman: I wouldn’t take that kinda crap from a bitch like that. I mean, I’d be all like ‘Hey, get your bitch ass off the couch, watchin’ those soaps and get in the kitchen and make me some cookies!’ Luna: Huh? Cartman: Yea, no bitch is gonna fuck with a guy that’s like, ‘Stop smokin’ that crack and licking those toads, .... and.... and... go kidnap some asian kids and force them to make me a Terence and Phillip T-shirt!’. Luna: Grrr..... Cartman: Yeah, cuz I’m always like, ‘Get your ass off the couch, watching gay porn, rubbing your fireman, and go to the store and get me some Mother Fucking SNACKY CAKES!’. Luna: That’s it! [Large blunt objects can be seen flying out of the top of Stall #3 and landing in Stall #2] This is for being an ass! [More blunt objects] This is for being racist! [More blunt objects] This is for having a really fucked up family [some sharp objects]. Dan: Hahahaha! Anything to say now fat boy? Cartman: I’m not fat! I’m severely injured! ~~~~~ Pikachu: Right, sorry, sir! Mewtwo: I'll be on the bridge in about twenty minutes, so get some Vulpix up there to greet me, okay? Pikachu: (still watching Jenny and Joy) Yeah, sure....... Mewtwo: Are you listening to me, or are you watching my sluts? Pikachu: (isn't it obvious what he's doing?) Yes, sir..... Mewtwo: For God's sake, stop watching my sluts!!! The Scene: The Bridge (Brock is jerking off to a video of Mewtwo's sluts, Pikachu is fucking his own sluts, and Ash is trying to get the fourteen Vulpix on the bridge to stop 'looking' at him. Bob is watching a couple of Vulpix lick each other and fucking his own Vulpix.) Pikachu: I tell ya, there's something wrong with that kid. Bob: Tell me about it. Ash: But....umm....they're....LOOKING at me!!! ~~~~~ Cartman: Man that kid’s a looser. Dan: You’d think he could invest in some blindfolds... Luna: Maybe he’s just a closeted homosexual. ----- Elsewhere.... Alex: Odd... I have the oddest urge to scoff at someone for using the word ‘maybe’ in a sentence. ~~~~~ Pikachu: Will you just fuck something, you horny idiot?! ~~~~~ Luna: Ya know, if I was in Pikachu’s position (i.e. The same room as Ash) I wouldn’t be telling him to fuck something. ~~~~~ (Mewtwo walks onto the bridge, then Jenny leads Joy behind him, still in handcuffs) Mewtwo: So, where's the sluts? Charmander: On the planet, sir. There's a small house somewhere in the middle of a big plain, and it's got slut lifesigns all over it. ~~~~~ Dan: Ain’t future technology great? You can find yourself some sluts anywhere! What kind of computer is that? Luna: It’s not. A few episodes back Bill Clinton made an appearance, they just put him in a cage and use his natural mutant abilities. Cartman: Yea dude, he got rejected by the X-men so he went into politics. Luna: Yea, just like Ross Perot. ~~~~~ Mewtwo: Excellent! Let's go get Abra! The Scene: Level 14, the Abra room (Mewtwo, Jenny, Joy, Bob, Pikachu, Ash, and Brock walk into the Abra room. Misty and Abra are, of course, fucking all over the room.) Mewtwo: Hey, Abra, knock it off for a minute and get over here! Abra: Huh? Oh, sorry, be right over, sir! Misty: What the?! Get the fuck back here and fuck me!!! ~~~~~ Luna: I just wanna see him warp her half way up a tree, with ten bears at the bottom, and a fire at the top and then say ‘There you’re fucked!’ Cartman: Ok.... now let’s see, who didn’t see a stupid joke like that coming? Dan: I didn’t! Cartman: That is because you are a retard. Dan: Don’t make me use my skills on you! Cartman: Oh wow, I’m sacred of your flying fairy fighting style. I am a sumo, I am a mountain, I’ll kill you, you SON OF A BITCH! Luna: I think he’s been watching too many motivational tapes. ~~~~~ Abra: Sorry, bitc...umm, ma'am, but that guy's an admiral, and he could kill me, so I gotta go. Misty: Fine, but hurry back! Abra: Whatever. (walks over to Mewtwo) Whatdya need, chief? Mewtwo: I need you to... (suddenly, Yuffie runs into the room) Yuffie: *huff, puff* You're not going without me! Pikachu: What the...?! Get the hell out of here! Yuffie: I'm going, and you're not gonna stop me! Mewtwo: Why the hell do you want to go, anyway? Yuffie: Umm....there might be materia down there! Mewtwo: Okay, you can come, on one condition. Yuffie: Name it. Mewtwo: Join my private club, the 'Mewtwo's Super Sluts Brigade!' (moderately stunned silence) Yuffie: Umm.......................sure. Abra: Okay, fine, I don't care, let's just get going so I can get the hell back!!! Misty: I'll be waiting! (spreads her pussy with her fingers) Abra: (very eager) LET'S GO, LET'S GO, LET'S GO!!!!!!!!!!!!! Pikachu: (whispering to Mewtwo) Sir, is that a real club? Mewtwo: Only when I'm horny. Pikachu: Can I join? ~~~~~ Luna: I think he’s been around Ash a bit too long... ~~~~~ Mewtwo: What?! No!!! Pikachu: Ah, come on, I wanna fuck a human! Abra: (getting really horny) COME ON, LET'S GO, PEOPLE!!!! (They all teleport down to the planet, and Misty starts fingering herself. Suddenly, the Taco Bell dog runs in) ~~~~~ Cartman: It’s that fucking damn dog again! Luna: Yay! Dan: Yahoo! Cartman: Oh hell... I’m stuck with two dog lovers. ~~~~~ Taco Bell Dog: Yo queiro PUSSY!!! Misty: Fuck you!!! (pulls out a rocket launcher and blows that little spanish rat to high heaven.) The Scene: The Planet's Surface (The whole place is practically a wasteland, with nothing around for miles. About the only landmark is a big rock that looks suspiciously like an onion.) Abra: I'm going back to the ship. You guys want out of here, just send me a message. Mewtwo: Right. ~~~~~ Cartman: {Dude! Maybe that’ll work for me!} {Cartman to Abra, Cartman to Abra... send help} {Psychic Message}: Welcome to the Psychic friends network, please think ‘1’ if you want your horoscope, think ‘2’ for information on your past.... Cartman: DAMNIT! Luna / Dan: Huh? ~~~~~ (Abra teleports back to the ship) Mewtwo: (looks around) Hey, where's all the sluts? Pikachu: Beats me. I thought they were here. Hey, Charmander, where's the sluts? Charmander: Well, according to the readings I took from orbit, they're all in or around this house about five miles from here. Bob: Sounds great, but where is it? (They all look around, but other than the onion rock, there's nothing else around.) Mewtwo: So how do we know which direction to go? (Suddenly...) Announcer: It's Loud Kiddington and his dog Fetch! Kid Chorus: (singing) If you need an onion guide, call on Loud! Loud: Of all my little onions, I'm so proud! Kid Chorus: (singing) If you need a veggie with appeal {a peel} Loud: I'll make you such a deal! Kid Chorus: Call on Loud, call on Loud, call on Loud! (Kid Chorus leaves) Loud: (somewhat quietly) Howdy, fellow horny people! Loud Kiddington here, and if I can't make you a deal, my dog Fetch here will eat a big pile of Pidgey plop! ~~~~~ Dan: Damn that’s sick.... Oh, by the way, thanks for at least giving us something to eat while we watch this. Lunar Knight: Huh, I didn’t give you any food. Dan: Then what’s this big bowl of pudding? Luna: Oh my god.... Lunar Knight: I think I’m gonna..... [Runs into stall #4 where random liquids can be heard being tossed from his body] [While nobody is looking a rat slips a bowl of pudding into Dan’s stall] Dan: YAHOO!!! Lunar Knight: *Puke* {Psychic Message}: If you want to know next week’s lottery numbers think ‘pickles’, if you want to know how Kenny will die this week think ‘tangerine weasel’..... Cartman: Damnit...... ~~~~~ Fetch: Say what?! Loud: My vegetable guides are the best around! You need to get somewhere, they can get you there! Fetch: You eat the Pidgey plop! Loud: Shut up, we'll discuss this later! (to Mewtwo) So, where do you need to go? Mewtwo: Well, we need to get to this shack that's about five miles from here, but we don't know which direction it's in. Loud: (normal voice) NO PROBLEM! Pikachu: Damn, that's one loud kid! Loud: HEY, PECO! (Peco walks in) Peco: Peco, peco peco! Mewtwo: Cool! If he doesn't work out, we can eat him! Loud: SORRY, NO EATING THE GUIDES! Bob: Ah, damn, and I was so looking forward to a patty melt. Peco: Peco? Loud: JUST SIGN HERE! (holds out some papers, and Mewtwo signs them) THANKS VERY MUCH! (Loud leaves) Mewtwo: So, Peco, can you find the house? Peco: Peco, peco peco! Bob: Can you understand this son of a radish? Mewtwo: Nope! Hey, Joy, translate this for me. Joy: Yes, my white knight. Ash: Gee, I wish I had someone to call me that... Mewtwo: Get your own Joy, asshole. (to Joy) So, what's he saying? Peco: Peco, peco! Joy: He says it's in that direction! (points to the west) Mewtwo: Okay, let's go! The Scene: The Plain, sometime later Mewtwo: Damn, I'm horny! Too bad there isn't a slut that could fuck you while you walk. (looks at Yuffie) How about it? Yuffie: What?!?! No fucking way! Mewtwo: Don't say no so soon, I have ways of making you cum! (Again, suddenly...) Announcer: It's the Poetry Man! Poetry Man: Ash and Misty sittin' in a tree f-u-c-k-i-n-g! First cums Misty, then cums Ash then comes Team Rocket to sell 'em both for cash! (the Poetry Man leaves. By the way, that guy might become a semi- regular cast member, since I'm not exactly a poet, but I might be able to write in a few poems in the next few episodes.) Charmander: What the hell was that? Yuffie: I think I saw him in a dream somewhere... The Scene: The House in the Middle of Nowhere, two hours later (The house is actually a small cottage. There are about a hundred or so Vulpix in the front yard.) Brock: Finally! Pikachu: Damn, look at all the sluts! Charmander: I wonder who lives here... Ash: Who cares, I'm horny!!! (Ash runs up to one of the Vulpix, then sticks his cock in its mouth. About three seconds later, he pulls it out with a weird look on his face.) Brock: What is it? Pikachu: Damn, man, you didn't cum already, did you? Ash: (uneasily) Uh, no, uh...I, uh... Bob: What? Spit it out, will ya? Ash: Ummm....I, uh....I felt an Adam's Apple..... ~~~~~ Luna: Wow, hot yaoi action! Lunar Knight: *Puke* Luna: It can’t be that bad. Lunar Knight: It’s not that, every time I try to leave the stall, I see a bunch of rats shitting into a bowl. Dan: .....AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! {Psychic Message}: If you are trapped on a desert island and need help think ‘midget boyscout mexican eskimo’..... Carman: Come on..... ~~~~~ (Insert level of stunned silence here) Mewtwo: You felt...what? Pikachu: (snickering) You...felt...an...Adam's...Apple... (breaks out laughing) BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! Ash: SHUT UP!!!! THIS IS A VERY TRAUMATIZING EXPERIENCE FOR ME!!!!!!! Pikachu: (still laughing) HAHAHAHA!!!! YOU'RE A FUCKING HOMO!!!!!! Ash: SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!!! (starts chasing Pikachu with Misty's mallet) Pikachu: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! Mewtwo: Damn, that's gotta be a horrifying experience. Bob: Yeah...good thing it didn't happen to us! Mewtwo: Damn straight! (to Joy) How about you go get fucked by that Vulpix? Joy: Yes, sir! (Joy gets down on her hands and knees in front of the male Vulpix, but he just turns her nose up at her.) Mewtwo: What the hell? Joy: Ohhhh, now I'm not satisfied! *sniff* Mewtwo: Don't cry, I'll fuck you later. Brock: What's going on? Why did that Vulpix just ignore Joy? Bob: I don't know, but maybe we should find out who lives here. It's not like these Vulpix can feed themselves. Pikachu: Right. (to Brock) Get moving, bitch! Brock: What?! No fucking way! Why should I go?! Pikachu: Because I said so! (shocks Brock) Move it!! Brock: Alright, alright!!! (to himself) Damn fuckhead.... (Brock walks inside the house, then comes out a few minutes later with a weird bald guy in a tye-dyed shirt and Bermuda shorts.) Bob: Hey, it's Master Roshi from DBZ!!! (that was a really lame-ass joke, wasn't it?) ~~~~~ Luna: Yes! Dan: Rats....? Cartman: No I don’t want to know if I’m Tony Danza’s secret love child! Luna / Dan: What the hell? ~~~~~ Brock: Hey, guys, this is Mr. Tuppence. He owns this place and all these sluts. Mr. Tuppence: Welcome to my personal Utopia! My sluts are your sluts! Bob: Well, that'll be great, as long as there's some females here. Mr. Tuppence: Sorry, all I have are males. ~~~~~ Dan: Man that guy must be gay or something. Luna: Ya think? Plus, this is coming from a guy that wears pink clothes? Dan: What’s wrong with my clothes? {Psychic Message}: If you are being held in a bathroom against your will and are being forced to watch / read / enact porno think ‘Oh look at these curtains, we’ll have to redecorate’ Luna: If that doesn’t signal homo, I don’t know what does. Cartman: Oh look at these curtains, we’ll have to redecorate. {Psychic message}: We are sorry, all our bathroom-rescue squads are on their way to a class B emergency at Michael Jackson’s house. Luna: Um..... so you are both gay? Cartman: DAMNIT! THIS IS FUCKING BULLSHIT! Luna: Ok, ok, so you don’t want to admit it.... sheesh. Cartman: Huh? ~~~~~ All: WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?! Pikachu: Then how do you get laid?! Mr. Tuppence: Like this! The Tup guy pulls a small remote control from his pocket and presses a button. Suddenly, Ash walks over to Brock and they start making out. ~~~~~ Dan: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cartman: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Luna: Anyone got a dildo? Dan: Anyone got a camera? Luna: See, you are gay! Dan: No, the camera was for you, and I ... but, er.... grrrrrrrr....... ~~~~~ All but Ash and Brock: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Pikachu: Oh my God, I'm blind!! Bob: I'm gonna throw up.... Jenny: That's so cute! (Ash and Brock, not Bob throwing up) Mewtwo: You're getting a little weird... Mr. Tuppence: Dance, puppets! (presses another button, then Ash and Brock start taking each other's clothes off) ~~~~~ Cartman: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Dan: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Luna: Yahoo! Dan: I think that’s getting old. And anyway, it Ash and Brock for goodness sake! Luna: What!? I thought it was Dan Rather and Richard Nixon! Myabe I shouldn’t wear these glasses. ‘Glasses’: Karp, karp. Dan: I’m not even going to ask..... ~~~~~ Pikachu: (holding his head) Make the pain stop!!!! Yuffie: I'm not letting this guy get away with this! This is sick and depraved, and it's not even a good show! Mewtwo: Not a.....Well, what would you call a good show? Yuffie: If they were sucking or fucking each other. (Suddenly, Ash and Brock 69 each other) ~~~~~ Dan / Cartman: *Faint* Luna: Now I’m glad I have these glasses.... ‘glasses’: Karp! *faint* ~~~~~ Yuffie: Now *that's* a good show! Pikachu: Kill me now!!!!!!!!!!!! Yuffie: Regardless, this guy's going down! (Yuffie charges Tuppy with that shuriken thing, but he dodges her and and calls his Vulpix to help him. They all grab hold of her and drag her into the house. Once inside, a bunch of them hold her down and the rest tease her by licking each other) Mr. Tuppence: Well, now that the ninja is out of the way, I'll have some fun with my new slaves! (Tuppy-tup-tup-tup goes over to Ash and Brock and starts jerking off. A low rumbling sound can be heard in the distance.) Charmander: What's that sound? (Suddenly, a horde of walking, talking onions run across the plain. All of a sudden, they start singing.) Onions: (to 'Camptown Races') We are the onion horde, eat us, eat us! We will fight the live long day, oh eat us now! We're gonna get eaten by somebody, it might as well be you! So come on now and eat us all, oh eat us now! (they run off) ~~~~~ Luna: Huh? Who’s singing? *Takes off ‘glasses’* ..................... ~~~~~ Mewtwo: Oh. My. God. That was....exceptionally strange. Charmander: Ya think?! (suddenly, one of the onions comes back and stabs Peco with a very sharp french fry.) Loud: OH MY GOD, THEY KILLED PECO!!!!!!!! Fetch: You bastards!!! (they leave. The other onion suddenly runs up to the Tupp-man and kicks him in the groin, revealing some very small cajones. Then it runs off.) Mr. Tuppence: Owwww!!!! Damn it, I never got treated this way on Wall Market!! Mewtwo: Wait! You're not Mr. Tuppence! You're....... (DRAMATIC MUSIC STING!!!!!!!) All: Don Corneo! (Tuppety throws off the bermuda shorts, puts on some pants, then removes a face mask and reveals....his true identity!) Don Corneo: Yes, it is I, the infamous Don Corneo! Bob: But why? Why lure us here just to get those two to fuck each other? Don Corneo: It's a long, sad story...(starts to tell the story) Bob: Oh, this is gonna be good.... Don Corneo: After getting trounced both times when trying to find a good lay, I finally figured out what I knew my whole life: I'm... ~~~~~ Dan: Mentally ill? Cartman: A moldy Ritz cheese cracker brought to life by an evil chicken? Luna: A Nympho-necro-beastro-homo-fecal-philiac addicted to crack? ~~~~~~ Mewtwo: Yeah, yeah, you're a fucking queer, shut the hell up. Don Corneo: Hey, show some respect! How do you think I feel when I go on about my sex life? 1. I've pretty much given up on life 2. I'm sure I'll win 3. I don't know what the hell's going on ~~~~~ All: 3 ~~~~~ Mewtwo: 4. Like a complete idiot. Don Corneo: That's not a choice! Mewtwo: Who fucking cares? (blasts Corneo into dust) Let's get the hell out of here. Pikachu: I second that! (By now, Ash and Brock are regaining their sanity, and Yuffie is extremely pissed and horny. By the way, Ash and Brock don't have any clothes on ^_^!) Ash: What the hell? Brock: Man...why do I feel like burning my lips off? Ash: Me too...weird. Mewtwo: (snickering) I get to tell them when we get back! Pikachu: What?! Why?!?! Mewtwo: Because I'm the admiral! Pikachu: Ah, damn... Mewtwo: Oh, don't be so down...I'll let you fuck Joy! Pikachu: (jumping up and down) YIPPEE!!! The Scene: The Bridge (everyone is back on the bridge, and Ash and Brock still haven't heard the news about their little...experience. Yuffie is riding Mewtwo, and Pikachu is fucking Joy, just like Mewtwo promised. Jenny is making Joy suck on her strap-on. Suddenly, Ash looks down, and sees Mr. Winky!!! (a.k.a. his cock) Ash: What the hell!? (notices Brock) WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! Brock: Huh? (looks down) AAAAAAAHHHH!!!! Why are Ash and me naked, and why is there saliva drying on my cock?! Mewtwo: Hee hee hee....this is gonna be fun!!! The Scene: The Bridge, ten minutes later (Yep, Mewtwo told them, and in great detail, too. Brock is huddled in a corner muttering - Brock: I am not gay, I am not gay..... ~~~~~ Luna: Sad, yet false..... ~~~~~ Ash is trying to fuck his Vulpix to reaffirm his hetero self, but she keeps 'looking' at him. And, of course, everyone is laughing at them. Suddenly, Mew appears on the bridge in a flash of light.) Mew: Hey guys, what's happening? Pikachu: (very proud of himself) I'm fucking a human!! Mew: I can see that. Mewtwo: (to Pikachu) Hey dude, show some respect, that's my Mom! ~~~~~ Cartman: But I thought he was cloned from a fossil? Luna: You gonna tell him that? Cartman: Let’s send Dan. Luna: I have no problem with that. Dan: Um..... ~~~~~ Pikachu: Sorry, sir! (stops fucking and salutes Mew) Welcome aboard, ma'am! May I say you look really fucking hot today? Mewtwo: WHAT DID I JUST SAY?!?!?!?!?! Mew: Shut up, I like him! (notices Brock) Hey, who's the gay kid? Brock: I'M NOT GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mew: O...kay. (sees Ash) Who's the weird horny kid? Bob: That's the only kid on this ship who's only been laid twice. Mew: Huh? Why? Charmander: He thinks his Vulpix is looking at him. We just accept the fact that he's insane. Mew: Oh. Maybe he just doesn't find her attractive. Pikachu: Why wouldn't he want to fuck her? Vulpix are great! Mew: Everyone has different tastes. Maybe he'd like a more human slut. Bob: Yeah, that'd be great, except there's only three humans onboard minus the admiral's sluts, and they all hate him. ~~~~~ Luna: And here I thought they weren’t normal. ~~~~~ Mew: Then we need a new human! (Mew glows a little, then shoots a white ball of energy at Ash's Vulpix. She becomes engulfed in light, like she's evolving, and suddenly, she turns into a half-human, half-Vulpix! She's about as tall as Ash with a human body, but with red skin and covered in red fur. Check out the anthromorphic pic of a Vulpix at Rasco's archive to see what I'm talking about. Oh yeah, she's got some big tits, about 38C, more or less. And yes, they're red.) Ash: Wow.....You're really.....HOT!!!!!!!!!!!! (Ash gets good and hard and jumps his slut) (Also, I want to give credit to Command324 [that's the only name I know him by] for the idea to make Vulpix into a half-breed. Also, MWF was the winner of the naming contest for the name Alysa [who Ash's slut shall be refered to from now on] Oh yeah, the show! Ash is fucking Alysa and everybody is watching and cheering.) Mewtwo: I think I'm gonna like it here! Pikachu: Huh? What'dya mean, sir? Mewtwo: I'm staying! At least for a few days! I've always wanted to get back to exploring the PokéFrontier, and now I can do it with my favorite sluts! (suddenly, Aeris walks in) Mewtwo: WHOA!!!!!!! Who's that, she's hot!! Aeris: Hmm...you're kinda cute too... The End! ----------------------------------------------------------------------- I know, I really shouldn't have ended it like that, and I definitely should've written a sex scene for Ash and Alysa, but this episode is long enough as it is. As for Ash and his new...playmate...I'd like to humbly make a request to Evan, Sky Rendar, or maybe Lunar Knight (or anyone else who's half-interested, really) to try writing a lemon with Ash and Alysa (feel free to change the name.) It can be set in the U.P.S. Rapidash, or it can be set in the normal Pokémon timeframe. Then again, it'd probably make more sense on the Rapidash. Either way, I really don't care, but I just think it'd be a really cool lemon. Also, the anthromorphic Vulpix is at: ~~~~~Dead Link Removed~~~~~ Anyways, on the next: Pokémon: The Next Pikachu! Mewtwo enjoys life on the Rapidash! ~~~~~ All (Half-assed): yay. ~~~~~ Ash and his new slut do some serious fucking!!! ~~~~~ All (Half-assed): yay. ~~~~~ Misty suspects a conspiracy against her!! ~~~~~ All (Half-assed): yay. ~~~~~ Ash challenges Abra to a contest of strength, stamina, and endurance! ~~~~~ All (Half-assed): Um...... ~~~~~ Brock sees a psychiatrist!! ~~~~~ All: That’ll be a waste of text. A LARGE one at that. ~~~~~ All this and a bunch of other stuff on the next: Pokémon: The Next Pikachu! ~~~~~ -----Location: South Carolina, USA Local Person: So, um..... who are you guys? Alex: Don’t worry about that.... but we are lost....... Local Person: Well, could you help me out? Ash: What is it? Local Person: I need someone to test my new time machine. Ash: I’m not just gonna go with any old idiot with a time machine. Local Person: I have candy. Ash: Let’s go! -----Location: The Time Machine Ash: So umm.... what now? Local Person: One of you step up here. Icy: I’ll do it. Local Person: Ok now... [Pushing buttons] just twist this, and pull this. *BLAM* [ Icy explodes] Ash: Um..... Is that supposed to happen? Local Person: Um... no. Oh shit! This is the wrong machine. [Everyone looks up at the sign that says ‘Strategicly placed death machine to kill Icy’] Ash: Oh, um... now what? Local person: Over here. -----Location: The REAL Time Machine Local Person: Ok, how about you try it this time? Ash: Um... I’m not going to blow up am I? Local Person: Don’t worry. Ok, now where in time do you want to go? Ash: Um.. how about to before I got dragged into this MST bullshit? Local Person: Alright. Alex: Um... ash. Ash: What? Local Person: Um.. no time to talk [whacks a button and Ash disappears]. Alex: You’re an asshole, you know that? Local Person: Why’s that? Alex: [Points to sign] ( Strategicly placed Time Machine to warp Ash into Poketreck) Shadow: HAHAHA! Alex: But if this takes him into Poketreck in the future, how did we MST when it hasn’t happened yet? Shadow: I have a time machine dumbass. Alex: But if Alex didn’t know about it, how did he have the cheese that Icy stole? Shadow: Hmm.... I, er... *Bonk* Hmmm... that should keep him unconscious for a while. -----Back at the Bathroom Lunar Knight: Oh well, that’s all for today. [Unlocks Luna’s door] So, you’re gonna come along with me? Luna: Ah, why the hell not? [Luna and Lunar Knight walk out] Dan: Um..... hello? Cartman: Damnit! Let me out of here! [A sumo wrester walks in] Sumo: Oi, shrimp give me bad shits. Cartman / Dan: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! ----- In the restaurant. Luna: So, um... where now? Lunar Knight: I dunno... maybe we could~ Jin: HEY! You’re the one that kidnapped my star sumo wrestler! Get over here! Lunar Knight: Run! [Luna and Lunar Knight run around getting chased by Jin, and eventually end up in the back where they see a door labeled ‘Do not enter, there is no giant robot in this room’] Lunar Knight: Let’s go! [They go in and, of course, there is a giant robot in it.] Lunar Knight: Damnit! Luna: What? We can use this to get away. Lunar Knight: Yea, but the sign said there wasn’t a robot in here, so I thought there would be donuts. Luna: Uh-huh. Well, anyway, let’s fly this thing outta here. [Luna and Lunar Knight get in and fly away, just as Dan runs in.] Dan: Hey Jin, someone stole Blodia. Jin: No shit. To be continued..........