The LKX Chronicles --==+++v2.0+++==-- Location: The middle of a city street, blocking traffic.... Japan Shampoo (pointing): Ahhhh!!!!! He set up us the bomb! Lunar Knight: Damnit.... I see where this is going..... CATS: Greetings gentlemen. All your porn are belong to us. Lunar Knight: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~~~~~~~~~ Luna: Ummm..... What’s going on here? Lunar Knight: Oh, uh, sorry, I get that way whenever someone threatens to steal my porn. CATS: Calm down you! You bend before me. (Quiet you! You shall bow before me.) Ranma: Um... who is this guy? Lunar Knight: Um.... Santa? CATS: No you deceive the mighty CAT which is I! Earth? The ruler whose S is new! (No you fool, I am the mighty CATS! Earth’s new ruler!) Ranma: It doesn’t matter, I’m gonna pound him for blowing up the Cafe! Ranma goes in for an Armiguriken, but his blows don’t even phase CATS. CATS: Is not useful is your effort but annoyance does not have to be applied. The state grammar where I am bad attack, the space ship, the fish, the cheese, and protects me from the ambiguous bunnies lovelily. (Don't bother, your efforts are futile. My bad grammar shields me from any attack, spaceships, fish, cheese, and cute fuzzy bunnies.) Luna: Is it just me or is this guy speaking gibberish? Lunar Knight: ... Ranma: ... Shampoo: ... CATS: Bah I now request most to the non- human agony of the galaxy in any case: MSTing lemon! Just a little, that is visible someone's way where it has already done.... (Bah,anyway, I shall now resort to the most inhuman torture in the galaxy: MSTing Lemons! ...... hey, it looks like someone's already doing that.....) Lunar Knight: Yeah, touch my projector and die, asswipe. CATS: Problem is not, I now show my power, show you really who all your base belong! But, as for me so her who is liked...... (No matter, I will now demonstrate my power and really show you who all your base belong to. But I like her, so....) Cats snaps his fingers and in a flash everyone is tied up in chairs; and Shampoo is teleported to CATS’s ship. CATS: At the time of the ampere, already there is a tape here! (Ah, there's a tape already in here!) Lunar Knight: No, we just did that one, the next one is in the case under the table. Luna kicks the back of LK’s chair Lunar Knight: What? ..... oh yeah...... CATS: Episode of the Poketreck 14. it is good sufficiently, unknown fear of the MST suffers depending upon you! (Pokétreck episode 14? Good enough, you shall suffer the unknown horror of the MST!) Lunar Knight: ... ~~~~~~~~ Pokémon: The Next Pikachu! Last time, on [yada yada yada] the crew of the Rapidash got sucked into the most ridiculous trial of the century, just because I don't watch The Practice. Lots of people from AGNPH guest-starred, Bob got his nuke back, Misty fucked Mewtwo again, and Sky Render got his boat smashed (sorry!) and the Rapidash finally got back to the future! Now, on with the brand-new season of: Pokémon: The Next Pikachu! Today, special-guest-starring is Pikoo no Miko, as Vicki! Also guest- starring is Pikachu's wife, Pikacha, and Pikachua, who I will explain later. Not only that, but we have one more guest-star, and that is.... God. And the Turkey Man!!! ~~~~~~~~ Lunar Knight: Shadow scares me more and more every time.... ~~~~~~~ Episode XIV: Strange Incidents Pokédate: 30801.12 Location: The Magoneeg cluster The Scene: The Bridge (Charmander's doing his job along with the rest of the bridge crew, and Pikachu is watching TV on the viewscreen.) Commercial: Nine out of ten dentists agree the other guy doesn't appreciate a good blowjob. ~~~~~~~~ Luna: Well then, someone needs to find this ‘other guy’, take his---- Ranma: Hey, before you go into any graphic detail, remember, there are guys here. Luna: Oh..... yeah, sorry. ~~~~~~~~ Commercial: When you're feeling...not so fresh, stay the hell away from me. ~~~~~~~~ Lunar Knight: Amen to that! ~~~~~~~~ Commercial: Your job isn't everything. But if you don't do it, we'll kill you. ~~~~~~~~ Lunar Knight: Ha! I have them there! Little do they know, I don’t have a job! Luna: So you’re a bum? Lunar Knight: Um... no? Ryoga: Yeah, that makes you a bum, live with it! Lunar Knight: And what’s your job? Ryoga: I.... um.... none of your business! Lunar Knight: At least if I had a job I could find it in less than 3 days.... Ryoga: What was that!? Lunar Knight: Oh, nothing... ~~~~~~~~ Commercial: (whispering) This woman is about to buy Cherub Down, which is used as an alternative for the Float spell. But what she doesn't know is that this is actually Cherub Dung, used to cure RAGING BURNING HEMORRHOIDS!!! Wait, did I say that out loud? ~~~~~~~~~ CATS: Note to oneself: Buy the Cherub Dung. (Note to self: Buy some Cherub Dung.) ~~~~~~~~ Commercial: Elvis. Is he really dead? Experts say- Elvis: SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!! Commerical: Experts say yes. Commercial: Stay tuned for a brand-new episode of Friends! ~~~~~~~~ Everyone (Except CATS): NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! CATS: OF / FROOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) ~~~~~~~~ *click* Pikachu: 1,912,487,947 channels, and nothing good on. Charmander: Hey, captain, incoming transmission from the shuttlecraft. They'll be docking here in ten minutes. Pikachu: What.......shuttlecraft? *lightbulb* OH SHIT!!!!!!!!!! (Pikachu runs away in a panic and hides his sluts, and Charmander just increases his opinion that his captain is insane.) ~~~~~~~~ Meanwhile..... Location: Japan Shadow (Covered head to toe in souvenirs ranging from shirts, to stickers, to receipts from prostitutes): Ok, I think we should go get LK now.... Icy: Um.... yeah..... Davey: *Fart* Shadow: Let’s go back to that street we saw him on. Icy pulls out another plot hole. Alex: Icy, that’s two blocks away.... Icy: Oh... never mind.... Icy puts it back in his pocket. ~~~~~~~~ The Scene: Misty's Quarters Misty: Okay, the doctor says not to stimulate your cock for at least two more days, or it'll cause excruciating pain. ~~~~~ Lunar Knight’s and Ranma’s eyes start tearing up. Lunar Knight: I pity that poor soul! Ranma: Could there be worse torment for a man!? Ryoga: Perverts. ~~~~~ Abra: Great, why don't I just throw myself out an airlock. Misty: Listen, you rest up. I need to take a shower. Don't peek!!! (Misty goes in the bathroom, undresses, and gets in the shower. And, of course, Abra peeks.) ~~~~~ Ryoga gets a nosebleed and passes out in his chair. Ranma: Well, that shut him up. ~~~~~ Abra: Ooooooo......AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Misty: Didn't I tell you not to peek?!?!?! Taco Bell Dog: Yo queiro shower!!!!! Misty: FUCKING HELL!!!!!!!!!!!! (Misty shoves a bar of soap down his throat, then he chokes to death. Not an elaborate death, mind you, but at least he's dead.) ~~~~~ Ranma / LK: Woo Hoo! Luna: Boooooo!!! CATS: Popularity and the empty it is old to be new, as for me being restricted there is here.... as for the WAZZZAAAAPPPPP! (Out with the old fad, in with the new, I am here to stay.... WAZZZAAAAPPPPP!) Shadow: There you are! Lunar Knight: Shadow? Shadow: We’re going to make your life a living hell, you bastard! Lunar Knight: Um... why? Shadow: Um...... I forgot... Alex: You were bored. Icy: Hey, um... guys.... look who’s over there! CATS: Greetings gentlemen, all your..... Shadow: Don’t even start that shit with me...... The plot hole falls out of Icy’s pocket and cracks open. A plot hole opens next to them. QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ The Time: Whenever The Place: Reef's Secret Underwater Lair (currently in Earth's orbit) The Plot: Read and find out! QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ Icy: .......... Shadow:............ Reef:......................O_o; Davey:............ *Fart* QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ Cast: (whoo boy) AGNPH regs: Reef Watertype Kaleidoar Lunar Knight X Tenchi Muyo: Ryoko Ryo-Ohki DBZ Folks: Vegeta Toonami: TOM Duckman: Duckman Cornfed Original Characters: Ixies Efluie Bleep(s) Disclaimer: Since I'm not making any money off this, it'll be too hard for you to sue me, and I'm protected under the parody clause! (I think) ~~~~~~~~~ BEGIN MST ~~~~~~~~~ (Everyone is sitting at a big table, Reef and Kalei are on the opposite ends, not acknowledging the other's presence) TOM: C'mon you guys, you can't be angry at each other forever, do either of you even remember what you did that set you guys off? Kalei: He keeps dwelling on the past, thinking I owe him for the mistakes I've made. Reef: She keeps trying to control me, thinking I'm some pushover idiot. TOM: -_-; Duckman: Okay, this is why relationships don't work out! Everybody is just "ME ME ME ME ME!" and they refuse to see the other side of thi-(Kalei and Reef both clobber Duckman) Cornfed: It doesn't seem like either of you are going to forgive. If we were on Earth I'd suggest you go your separate ways, but since we're all stuck here on the SUL... (A large black whirling vortex appears) Duckman: Well that's convenient. Kalei: Freedom! (Jumps into the portal) All: ... (Efluie and Ixies come running into the room) Efluie: Reef! The bitch is gone! You can be mine again! Ixies: ...What am I, chopped liver? (Efluie runs toward Reef) Reef: GYAAH! (Jumps into the anomaly) Efluie: REEEEEF! Come, Ixies! (Jumps into the gate after Reef, dragging Ixies behind her) Vegeta: Quizá alguien en la otra cara de ese porta podría enseñarme cómo hablar inglés otra vez! (Flys into the black vortex) TOM: Does anyone see this as unwise? We don't know where that goes. LKX: I don't care where it goes, I want off this tub! (Jumps through, the Bleep still on his shoudler) Duckman: That looks like fun! Banzai! (you get the picture) Cornfed: When in Rome. (Shrugs and jumps in the , which prompty closes) (TOM is virtually standing by himself, when Ryoko and Ryo-ohki walk into the room, looking for Efluie and Ixies) Ryoko: Where the hell is everybody? TOM: Uh... gone, I guess Ryoko: Wanna fuck? TOM: Sure! (They fuck, and don't even start asking me how a robot and a demon devoted to Tenchi can fuck, it's funny, and they just do, okay?) QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ Icy: ...... whoops..... Oh well..... Shadow: You idiot! Lunar Knight: Who are these peo..... um..... why am I over there? Reef: I was thinking the same thing about myself.... Shadow: Icy, you fuck up! Shadow slaps Icy in the back of the head and Icy proceeds to trip and fall into the closing plot hole. Shadow: Oh well, who cares about him? Efluie: Um.... where the hell are we now? Kali: I don’t care, I’m outta here! Kali runs away Efluie: Hey, honey, now we can be together again! Reef: Aieeeee!!!!! Reef runs away, and slams into the other Reef. Reef: Um.... Reef: Er..... Reef: Yup..... Reef: ..... Doc (The scientist, not the dwarf!): Ahhhh! Don’t look at each other, the universe will explode! Duckman: Huh? Where’d he come from? Cornfed: That’s Doc, the genius who invented the.... Duckman: Wait, its all coming back now, that’s the guy who invented that car with the doors that go up! Cornfed: The Delorian? No, he made a... Vegeta: Voluntad usted dos cerrados para arriba! Usted me está dando un dolor de cabeza! Duckman / Cornfed: ........ Bleep: ____! CATS: Why anyone in me note! You haven't paid? see the ugly MST! (Why isn't anyone paying attention to me!? Watch the damn MST!!!!!) Efluie: MST!? Hmmmm....... ~~~~~ The Scene: Docking Bay 3 (everyone but Pikachu, Misty, and Abra are there to greet the shuttle, and Jenny and Joy are doing a welcoming fuck in honor of whoever the hell is on the shuttle. And eventually a twelve-year old human female, a female Pikachu, and an Arcanine walk down the ramp.) Mewtwo: (to the fem. Pikachu) Welcome to the Rapidash, Ms.....Uh, what's your name? Pikacha: I'm Pikacha, Pikachu's wife. ~~~~~ Lunar Knight: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Luna: {Standard Ryoga-esque nosebleed & faint} Ranma: Damn, what a horny bastard..... Duckman: What’s everyone so stunned about? Lunar Knight: This guy will fuck anything that moves, and he doesn’t always follow that standard either..... Duckman: And? Ranma: He just said he’s married! Duckman: And? Cornfed: You may as well give it up, he can do this for hours.... ~~~~~ (stunned silence) Pikacha: I take it Pikachu never told you about me. (really stunned silence) Pikacha: Well, we've been married for six years now, and I just now realized he's been stationed on this ship. (unbelievably stunned silence) Pikacha: Would somebody say something, PLEASE?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Mewtwo: Oh, sorry, Ms.- uh, Mrs. Pikachu. Would you like to see your quarters? Pikacha: Yes, thank you. (Ensign Oddish walks up to her) Oddish: Right this way, miss. Umm...if you're married to the captain, wouldn't that mean your name is Pikacha Pikachu? Pikacha: Shut up. The Scene: The Bridge, two minutes later (everyone comes pouring onto the bridge, screaming) All: WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US YOU'RE MARRIED?!?!?!?!?!?!?! ~~~~~ Lunar Knight: As if it wasn’t obvious enough..... ~~~~~ (unfortunately, Charmander's the only one on the bridge at the time) Charmander: What, huh? I'm not married! Wait, am I? Ash: Where's Pikachu?!?! Charmander: I don't know. He took his sluts and ran off. Computer, locate Captain Pikachu. Computer: Captain Pikachu is in Ten-Forward, behind the bar, drinking the scotch. Mewtwo: I see we got the computer upgraded. Computer: Miss Scarlet is in Astrometrics, with the rope and Mrs. White. Bob: We haven't gotten all the kinks out of it yet. ~~~~~ Lunar Knight: ........ Luna: ...... Ranma: ........ Ryoga: .......... {nosebleed, faint} ~~~~~ Ash: Sounds like the computer's not the only thing with kinks in it. Alysa: We can try that later, right? ~~~~~ Lunar Knight: ...... Ranma: ..... Luna: ..... Reef: ....... Alex: ...... Cornfed: ....... Ryoga: { More blood} ~~~~~ Ash: Ummmmmmmmmmm.................just who would we use the rope on? Alysa: I'll surprise you. ~~~~~ Lunar Knight: ...... Luna: ..... Cornfed: ..... Bleep: _ _ _ _ _ Ranma: ....... Reef: ...... Reef (2): ...... Lunar Knight (2): ..... Vegeta: ........ Ryoga: {I think we hit an artery} ~~~~~ The Scene: Ten-Forward, behind the bar, with the scotch Pikachu: (drunkenly) Damn bitch.....I didn't give her the best years of my life, and she thinks I'm not supportive... (just then, everyone runs in, smashing everything in their path) All: WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US YOU'RE MARRIED?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Pikachu: What the...?! How the hell did you find me? Bob: The computer told us! Pikachu: (muttering) Damn upgrade! (normal [drunken] voice) Look, it was a long time ago, and I don't want to talk about it. Charmander: Alright, I think we should just respect- Pikachu: Okay, okay, you dragged it out of me. Six years ago I was only a lieutenant, and I met this girl when we were stationed at Earth. We eventually married, then I made captain. Charmander: Wait, please tell me you didn't marry an admiral's daughter just to make captain. Pikachu: Actually, she was an admiral's daughter, and I got her to make me a captain. ~~~~~ Duckman: That is one smart man. Cornfed, take some notes for me! Cornfed: ...... ~~~~~ Charmander: (bangs his head on the bar) There is no God. God: Then how do you explain Bill Clinton? (suddenly...) Announcer: It's the Poetry Man! Poetry Man: 99 bottles of dumbass on the wall, 99 bottles of dumbass you take one down, smack it around, 98 bottles of Ash on the wall! Ash: HEY!!! ~~~~~ Lunar Knight: That’s a smart guy. Reef, take notes for me! Reef: ........ Reef(2): ......... Vegeta: Él reutiliza siempre malas bromas como eso? Luna: Eh? Um... Yo hablo ingles...? Vegeta: No me recuerde! (Bursts into tears) ~~~~~ (the Poetry Man leaves. This poem brought to you by Red Forman, Inc. BTW, you can use that poem for almost anyone! Just replace Ash's name name with the name of whoever you want to call a dumbass and sing the rest as normal, and ta-da, you've got an insulting song that lasts for 99 verses! Try it today!) (suddenly...again...) Announcer: It's the Turkey Man!!! (the Turkey Man runs across Ten-Forward with a turkey stuck on his hand by it's asshole. Ouch.) Turkey Man: GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE!!! (He beans Pikachu with a turkey, then runs out. And suddenly, Vicki [Pikoo no Miko] runs in!) Vicki: Hey, has anyone seen a Turkey Man run through here?!?! Pikachu: (looks up) Hey, Vicki!!! (runs up and hugs her) Vicki: Pikachu, you horny little rodent!! (hugs him back) How've you been?! Pikachu: (despondent) Married. Vicki: I hear that! Charmander: (to Pikachu) Uh, sir, you wanna introduce us? Pikachu: Oh, sorry. This is Vicki, she's a friend of the family. She was there on my wedding day. Charmander: She's twelve years old. Pikachu: Yeah, so? She was six on the wedding day, duh. Charmander: O...kay. I just don't see how she's a friend of the family. Pikachu: Oh, she was there when my wife lost her virginity. (some stunned silence, and some hooting) ~~~~~ Lunar Knight: You’d think they’d be un-stunable by now.... Suddenly the picture on the MST goes blank CATS: What happen!? Efluie: Ha! Now I’m in control! Vegeta, detain him! Vegeta: Lo que.... Vegeta flies over and grabs CATS. Efluie: Good, now you’ll all have to watch this! Ranma: Oh son of a bitch, don’t tell me we’re starting over.... Reef: Um.... I’ll be leaving now.... Reef(2): As will I...... Davey: *fart*...... Ixies: *Cracks Whip* Nobody is going anywhere! Reef: Yes ma’m..... Reef(2): Uh-huh...... Davey: *Fart*....... Lunar Knight(2): (Getting finished untying the other Lunar Knight) I don’t think so.... now there’s two of me! You bitches don’t stand a chance! Both Lunar Knights brandish their swords. Alex: Um.... I’m here too. Luna: Untie me asshole! Alex: Oh yeah..... Efluie: Why are you two pissed, we’re making them watch your stuff. Lunar Knight: Oh yeah. Lunar Knight(2): Proceed..... Reef: Bastard..... Reef(2): Sell-out.... ~~~~~ Pokéball: Evil - The High Skies - ~~~~~ Cornfed: With a title like that, you know Koga's going to be in it. Ryoga: Who? Reef(2): Y'know, that's right, these doubles won't know what's going on. We should fill them in, first. Efluie: Less yap, more riff! Ixies: (Cracks whip) All: Yes ma'amms! o.o ~~~~~ ----- Bright Town Misty debated in her mind weather to go and talk to Wesker. In the end she figured that she may as well see what he does, so she went in and sat with him. ~~~~~ Luna: Hey, I've read this before! What do you mean we won't know what's going on? Reef(2): Huh? I thought our LK wrote these. Lunar Knight: No, I wrote them. Lunar Knight(2): Liar! I wrote them! Cornfed: Perhaps, in a freak coincidence, both Lunar Knights wrote identical stories in their own worlds? Doc: Am I the only person here who's even slightly weirded out by the LK/Reef Doubles!?! Bleep: ____! ~~~~~ Misty: Um... so did you find anything out? ~~~~~ Ranma: I found out I hate lemons. Ryoga: I found out I love lemons! Alex: I found out I really missed Luna! Luna: I found out that as much as I missed Alex, I wish he would get off my lap. Alex: Oh, sorry. (gets off) LK: I found out I'm a handsome devil. LK(2): Hey! I found that out too! Reef(2): I found out LK should really get over himself. Efluie: I found out that two Reefs are most definitely better than one! Reef(2): (gulp) Reef: Er... I don't get it, is she my girlfriend or something? Cornfed: You do not want to know. Ixies: I found out jealousy sucks. Duckman: I found out I'd rather MST Poketrek than this PB:E shit. Ryoga: Me tooooo! ;_; Doc: I found out that my paradox theories are crap. Bleep: _____! Vegeta: Me encontré hacia fuera odio el español, espera, yo sabía eso ya.... Shadow: I found out tourism rocks! Davey: (Fart) CATS: As for me when it inhales, the girl of the anthro cat of pink found. (I found out pink anthro catgirls suck) (In CATS's ship) Shampoo: I find out sombody set up us the bomb suck! (Somewhere over the rainbow) Kalei: I found out Reef sucks! (On the SUL) TOM: I found out Ryoko rocks! Ryoko: I found out that all robots come with a built-in vibrator! ^-^ Ryo-Ohki: Mreow! (In the abominable pits of MST creation) Icy: I found out that you really should get out of plot holes before they close. Authors: We found out we have WAY too many characters X_x ~~~~~ Wesker: Well, I think I found what you want, it’s in the Umbrella Air-Base. I have a map for you, but I wouldn’t recommend going there without some major firepower... Misty: I’m going.... Wesker: Well, whatever... Just don’t get yourself killed. I’ll do you a favor and get you onto the ship and setup a distraction for you, but soon as it looks like I’ll get found I’m leaving. ~~~~~ Duckman: Distraction? You mean like a wearing a tutu without panties? All: (Barf) ~~~~~ Misty: Thanks! Wesker: I’ll leave a large box out behind this building tomorrow at 12:00, get in it and I’ll pick it up at 1:00. You should be able to fit 2 others into it. ~~~~~ Ryoga: Do I smell orgy? Duckman: It's a very distinct aroma, the orgy. Alex: I know, it's something you can never forget. Ranma: Can I please kill the perverts? Luna: Only if you manage to beat me to them... ~~~~~ Misty: Thanks, so much........ {Maybe he isn’t as bad as they say...} Wesker: Now, I’ve been helping you... I need you to help me....... ~~~~~ Cornfed: Insert ominious music sting here. ~~~~~ ----- Team Rocket Base, Meeting Room (4:00 PM) Leon: You know, I was thinking about what Misty was saying about Wesker. He told her Umbrella had the means to revive her sisters, but wouldn’t that be more impossible than you think? ~~~~~ Doc: My great-great-great uncle Frankenstien once pondered that exact question... LK: Save it for a future MST, Shadow does a Young Franenstien parody. ~~~~~ Ash: Huh? What do you mean by that? Leon: Well, even if Umbrella could do that, how can you revive a pile of ashes, someone who was blown up, and someone who has the only remnants of her skull splattered on the floor of the Cerulean Gym? ~~~~~ Duckman: So? ~~~~~ Ash: Well, I see what you mean.... Leon: Anyway... Ark, what do you plan to do? Ark: Well, Looks like I’ve got no choice but to stick with you for now, I don’t know where to go to be safe.... ~~~~~ Reef: (Arc) Secure bathrooms are so hard to find nowadays... Davey: (Fart) Ranma: Eeeyugh! You're telling us! That stinks! Davey: (Fart) Bleep: _____? Davey: (Fart). Bleep: _____! Davey: (FART)! Bleep: ________!!!! Davey: (FAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRT)!!!!! Bleep: (Passes out from the smell and Davey wins the argument) ~~~~~ Giovanni: Well, any help is appreciated. ~~~~~ Efluie: CAN WE GET AN AIR FRESHENER OUT HERE!?! ~~~~~ Ark: I’ll probably leave Lott and Lily in this town. It’s not safe to take them along if Umbrella is after us. Chris: Good point, but what about zombies? {And who names their kid Lott?} Ark: Well, hopefully they won’t get this far, and the buildings here can get airborne anyway right? Chris: Yea, alright...... ~~~~~ Ranma: Those last 4 lines have shot this thing to a 10.0 on the weirdness scale. Cornfed: You have no idea... -_- ~~~~~ ----- Team Rocket Base, Ash’s quarters (12:01 AM) Misty: Ash.... Ash....... Ash: ZZZzzzzzzZZZZZZZzzzzzzzZZZZZzzzzz Misty: Ash! Ash: ZzzzZZZZZzzzzzzZZZZZZzzzzzzZZZZZzzzzzz ~~~~~ Alex: He must have been a lumberjack in his past life. ~~~~~ Misty: Wakeup damnit! ~~~~~ Shadow: (Damnit) I'm awake! I'm awake! ~~~~~ Ash: Huh, Misty? What are you doing here? ~~~~~ Duckman: (Misty) I'm here to fuck you! Ryoga: (Passes out) ~~~~~ Misty: Ash, tomorrow I’m sneaking onto the Umbrella Air Base, will you come with me? Ash: {Damnit... she must be going on something for her sisters.... well, she’s going with or without me, I may as well keep an eye on her} ...alright... Misty: Great! Meet me outside at 11:30! ----- Pewter City (3:08 AM) John: Lemons for sale! ~~~~~ Vegeta: ... Vegeta: ... Vegeta: ... Vegeta: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cornfed: Now that's a line that didn't need to get translated. Reef: What's with him? Reef(2): Long story! ^_^ ~~~~~ Wayne: Hmmm... you know, this place isn’t too lively... John: Well, when everyone wakes up, they’ll want fresh lemons! ~~~~~ CATS: (whispering to Vegeta) You want to speak English for the second time, help the fact that I re-photograph the control of this MST! (If you want to speak English again, help me retake control of this MST!) Vegeta: Usted puede ayudarme a hablar inglés? CATS: It is many or from a little... (More or less...) ~~~~~ Wayne: Hey! A customer! Zombie: Ugggguaaa..... John / Wayne: Gwahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! *Jump into an open manhole* Looks like Team Rocket’s getting flushed agaaaaaaiiiiiiiinnnnnn........ ~~~~~ The picture get fuzzy then cuts off. CATS: HAHAHAHA! I possess control once more! Now we return to programming where you are planned systematically. ( I have control once more! We now return to your regularly scheduled programming.) Efluie: What!? Ixies! Attack! CATS: Vegetable? Ixies jumps at CATS, but Vegeta tackles her. Vegeta: Bien, guarde su final del negocio! CATS: It is good very.... Behold my power! (Very well.... Behold my power!) Vegeta glows an odd brownish color and then explodes in a flash of anvils, shot-guns and cross-dressing rabbits. Vegeta: Be vewy vewy qwiet, I'm hunting..... WHAT DE FUCK!!!!!???? Cornfed: Something tells me that this is going to get even worse.... Vegeta: What did you do to me!!!!!????? Dis isn't my voice!!!!!! CATS: It is good, that is English. (Well, it’s English.) Vegeta: You bastawd! Give me my voice! CATS: The best my glance where as for that I.... can do the hell! (It's the best I can do.... hell, look at me!) Lunar Knight: This is going to be a long day...... Lunar Knight(2): You’re telling me? Doc: Can anyone tell me why I’m here!? Bleep: ______! Doc: Oh, that makes sense. Duckman: Hey, grammar man; are we going back to the porn? CATS: {No of Ohio state! Has he how known the identity of my true secret?: Grammatical person, Dr.Wily's most diabolical inventions!} {(Oh no! How does he know my true secret identity: Grammar Man, Dr.Wily's most diabolical invention!)} CATS: It is, we now return to exposing! (Yes, we get back to naked things now!) ~~~~~ The Scene: Docking Bay 3, almost at the same time We see the shuttle, still with the ramp down, and SUDDENLY, another pikachu pokes his head out and looks around. When he sees no one's around, he runs down the ramp and out the door, laughing an evil laugh. Pikachua: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *boink*! (hit a wall) The Scene: The Bridge, a few minutes later (The regular bridge crew is on the bridge, doing their jobs. Suddenly, Pikachua runs in) Pikachua: (like Captain Pikachu) Everybody out! I want to fuck in peace!!! Bridge Crew: Yes, sir! (they all leave) Pikachua: (normal evil voice) BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Now I'm in control!!! ~~~~~ Shadow: Why am I not surprised that it’s that easy to imitate the captain, and thus gain control of the ship? Lunar Knight: ........ Reef: ......... Davey: *Fart* Lunar Knight: Ah! He farted again! Run! ~~~~~ The Scene: Engineering (Misty is walking Abra, and Charmander and Flareon are doing their jobs) Charmander: Still got sore balls? Abra: (weakly) Yeah......Ooowww!!! Misty: I told you, stop rubbing it! You're only making it worse! Abra: But it feels so nice.......... Charmander: Weirdo. (console beeps) What the...?! Flareon: What is it? Charmander: Somebody's locked out the bridge controls, but the authorization codes are the captain's. Misty: So? What's so strange about that? Charmander: Have you met our captain? When was the last time he ever did his job? Misty: Umm............................................................ ............................................................... ............................................................... ............................................................... .........................................................never? Charmander: Right. Flareon: Come on, he can't be that bad! Charmander: He got a blowjob in the middle of a space fight. Flareon: Damn..... Charmander: Wait, I'm gonna settle this once and for all. Computer, locate Captain Pikachu. Computer: Captain Pikachu is still in Ten-Forward, still getting severely hammered. Abra: Gotta love that upgrade! (everyone runs out) The Scene: Ten-Forward (everyone is gathered around the bar, and Pikachu and Vicki are talking at a nearby table. After a nondeterminable period of time, Charmander, Flareon, Misty, and Abra run in!!!!!!) Charmander: (points at Pikachu) I knew it!!! Flareon: So what does it mean? Pikachu: (looks up) Huh? What does what mean? Charmander: There's a guy on the bridge using your command codes to take control of the ship! Vicki: Oh, that must be Pikachua. Pikachu: Ah, shit, I was hoping he wouldn't be coming. Ash: Wait, wait, who's Pikachua? Vicki: He's the guy Pikacha's married to. Bob: Excuse me? Pikachu: There was a whole problem with an Abra teleport, and I was somehow cloned. Charmander: So now.....there's two of you? God: Sorry about that, people, I had a temporary lapse in judgment. ~~~~~ Lunar Knight: Shadow, who gets you these special guests? Shadow: Why should I tell you? Lunar Knight: LOOK AROUND!!!!!!!! Everyone else (Except CATS): Hi there! CATS: Blow the whistle where you go to the twerk and forward, make the fart of the beginning, and that cat, and between and between your twerk, blow the whistle. (I’m not even going to give the translation to this.......) ~~~~~ Pikachu: That's how I was able to get out of the marriage for six years. I just had Pikachua take my place. Vicki: Yeah, but there was a slight problem... Pikachu: (suddenly) HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW HE WAS AN EVIL CLONE?! Charmander: Wait, you mean you're not the evil clone? Pikachu: What? Charmander: Nothing. Vicki: You know, he was there when Pikacha lost her virginity. Flareon: Do we have to hear about the captain's sexual practices? Pikachu: No, I didn't do it. Mewtwo: Then Pikachua...? Vicki: Nope. Ash: Wait, you mean you all watched Pikacha get fucked by another guy? Pikachu: No, she lost her virginity in the Olympics. ~~~~~ Lunar Knight(2): If that’s the future of our Olympics, I may actually start watching them..... maybe....... ~~~~~ Misty: Okay, now I'm interested. How'd it happen? Pikachu: Believe it or not, she lost her virginity in a freak pole-vaulting accident. ~~~~~ Lunar Knight(2): Damn, nevermind...... ~~~~~ (ever-so-slightly stunned silence) Charmander: I don't want to hear any more. (suddenly...) Ship's PA: (Pikachua's voice) Attention, all! I've decided to take all your sluts and fuck them all myself! Also, since my last psych report labeled me as crazy, we'll be flying into a star. Thank you, and have a nice day. ~~~~~ Vegeta: Sounds wike a vewy vewy wenient guy. CATS: At the time of ampere well old day, in me.... You make remember. (Ah, reminds me of the good old days.....) ~~~~~ Mewtwo: Well, this certainly sucks. Misty: I don't think I like that guy. Pikachu: (to Vicki) Why'd you bring him along, anyway? Vicki: Pikacha was starting to look at me with *that look*, and I'd rather fuck my Arcanine. Mewtwo: That aside, how are we supposed to take back the ship? (long silence) Bob: Wait! I've got an idea!!! Ash: Please don't tell me it involves Kangaskhans... Bob: It doesn't. (to Vicki) Okay, you fuck an Arcanine... Abra: Oooooo..........OOOWWWWWWW!!! (that was some mental image!) Vicki: (to Bob) Excuse me? Bob: You fuck an Arcanine on a video screen that trasmits to the bridge's viewscreen, and that'll distract Pikachua long enough for us to get on the bridge to kill him and retake the ship! ~~~~~ Duckman: Man, this guy sure can come up with a good plan, you getting all this Corny? Cornfed: Duckman, I am using all my willpower to not clobber you over the head; be glad that all these witnesses are around.... Duckman: What? Cornfed: Yeah, I got it................ ~~~~~ Pikachu: NO FUCKING WAY YOU'RE KILLING HIM!!! He's the only way I can stay on the Rapidash and be able to fuck my sluts!!! Bob: Okay, then how about we just get him off the bridge and back to Pikacha? Pikachu: That works. Vicki: You know, she's really unhappy... Pikachu: Fuck that, if I divorce her I'll get court-marshaled, and I wanna fuck my sluts, damn it!!! Vicki: Fine, maybe I can convince her to go back into the Olympics... ~~~~~ The screen gets cut off again..... Efluie: Ha! Now It’s mine again! Reef(2): Damnit, this is ridiculous! CATS: Is there a vegetable somewhere? (Where is Vegeta?) Efluie points to the sidewalk where Vegeta is getting a lesson from an English teacher that she hired for him. Vegeta: Fouw scowe and seven yeaws ago..... Damnit! It was the best of times, it was the wowst of times. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! ... Fuck! Aww youw base awe bewong to.... Awwwwgggg!!!!! CATS: Interjection (Shit) Efluie: Anyway folks, you are my prisoners again! Ixies! Start up where we left off! Ranma: Something tells me listening to these two "super-villains" yammer is worse than the lemons. ~~~~~ ----- Umbrella Air Base, A box in the Cargo Hold (2:00 PM) Misty: Alright, all we need to do now is wait for Wesker’s signal. Ash: Haven’t we waited long enough? Misty: We need to wait, we can’t get cought. ~~~~~ (Everyone throws handy objects at the two Lunar Knights) ~~~~~ Ash: Alright... Koga: Can I just ask why I’m here? ~~~~~ Doc: You see, your parents loved each other very much... Duckman: AND THEY FUCKED! Ryoga: (nosebleed) ~~~~~ Misty: Brock’s arm is broken and everyone else is against Wesker. Koga: Yeah, well just remember our deal. Misty: Yeah, yeah..... Suddenly, the ship starts to hit some turbulence, as if it was being hit by something. Misty: Whoa! Looks like we finally got our signal... ~~~~~ Lunar Knight: (Signal) Sorry I'm late, wife's in the hospital giving birth and the IRS is after me... ~~~~~ Ash: Shhh! I think I just heard someone come into the room. Umbrella Man 1: Man, this job sucks.... Umbrella Man 2: Yea, I know. All we do is walk around the ship all day; as if someone would actually get on the ship. Umbrella Man 3: And anytime something DOES get on the ship, it’s some fucking freak that kills 20 people before we get rid of it. ~~~~~ Luna: Just a normal day on the job, I guess... ~~~~~ UM2: Tell me about it..... UM1: Well, let’s hurry up and light up before we have to go back to patrolling. Koga: Hmmm? Light up!? *Sniff* *Sniff* That’s......!!!!! ~~~~~ All: POT!!! ~~~~~ Koga breaks out of the box, rushes the guys and takes the pot. Ash: Damn, you knocked them out... you really love that stuff don’t you? Koga: Ahhhhhh..... refreshing, like a cool summer breeze. *cough* *cough* ~~~~~ Reef(2): (Mr. Mackey) Marijuana's bad, m'kay? ~~~~~ Misty: Ok, I have a map of this floor; we need to find the lab and get all of the chemicals on the list. Ash: How are we supposed to get there? Even though Wesker is shooting at the ship, I’m sure that they still have a few guards around.... ~~~~~ Doc: Wait, wouldn't chemicals not be a smart thing to carry around when someone is shooting at the airship you're inside? LK/LK(2): Don't look at us, we didn't write this shi-- oh fuck, we did -_-; ~~~~~ Misty pulls a few guns out of her pack and tosses them to Ash and Koga. Misty: I’m not that dense, remember shoot to kill! ~~~~~ Ixies: Must... resist... comment.... ~~~~~ Ash: Well, aren’t we violent today? Misty: Sorry, I guess it’s just that time of the..... Hey! That’s none of your business! ~~~~~ Luna: Do you think Ash even knows what "that time of the month" is? Efluie: Do you think half the men here know what "that time of the month is"? Luna: (Looks around) ... ~~~~~ Koga: Can we get going now? ------ Bright Town (2:30 PM) Ark: Thanks for taking Lott and Lily for me. Woman: No problem, my daycare service is top notch; as long as you have the money of course.... Ark: Yeah, yeah..... you’ll have your money when I get back.... .... .... but, assuming I don’t get back, find them a nice home, ok? Woman: Well, I’m not going to pry into your personal life, but I hope you aren’t going to do anything too dangerous. Ark (walking away): I wouldn’t if I didn’t have to... See ya kids later, hopefully.... As Ark walks down the street, the woman slowly changes into a very menacing-looking dido. ~~~~ Ranma: Dildo? Ryoga: (nosebleed, faint) Alex: What an image! O_o; Luna: Er, guys, sorry to spoil your fun, but I think the LKs meant "Ditto" LK: (Holds head in shame) LK(2): I'll get you for this, spellchecker! ~~~~~ Lily (Facing away from the monster): You know, I think everything is going to end up ok... Lott (Also facing the other direction): I wish that I felt the same way...... ----- A Beach (2:45 PM) Wartortle had been swimming for hours when he finally landed on a beach. His bloodlust was at an all time high from not killing anything in the past few days. He was hoping for some easy kills when he hit land, and as soon as he set foot on dry land, his prayers were answered.... Dr. Tonsei: Ahhh, I have been waiting for you, you are a very special one. I would like to make a proposition that could benefit both our interests. All I ask is..... ~~~~~ Plotholers: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! NOT THIS FREAK AGAIN!?! Everybody else: ? ~~~~~ Before Tonsei could get his plan out, Wartortle took his claw-arm and swatted Tonsei about 50 feet down the shore. Dr. Tonsei: Well, it seems..... ugh.... It seems you are too far gone to be reasoned with. Very well, Pernodocé! ~~~~~ Vegeta: Pewnodocé!?! NO! De souwce of my pain, and touwment, the cweatuwe that fowced me to speak spanish, buwn in heww Pewnodocé! BUWN IN HEWW! English Teacher: Yes, that's it, release the rage, then maybe we can get you to pronounce something other than "w". ~~~~~ Out of nowhere, Pernodocé comes flying at Wartortle and hits him with thunder. Because of the mutant’s lowered wattage, the attack doesn’t completely KO Wartortle, but the power of lightning on water still has quite an affect on him. And while Wartortle is dazed, Pernodocé swoops in for a peck; which of course isn’t too smart. In a bright flash, Pernodocé is no more, and Wartortle has a large pair of dull-yellow wings. Dr. Donsei: Well.... this is very unexpected..... Dr. Tonsei pulls out a pokéball and a regular Rapidash pops out. Dr. Tonsei proceeds to get on it and ride away; while Wartortle takes to the sky, looking for someone else to torment.... ~~~~~ (Everyone sings the William Tell Overture) ~~~~~ ----- Team Rocket Base, Brock’s Room (3:00 PM) Claire walks in and stands in the doorway. And Brock scrambles to clear his computer screen. Brock: Ahhh! Don’t you knock!? ~~~~~ Duckman: Personally, I would have zipped up my pants. ~~~~~ Claire: Uh, sorry... {Not like we all don’t already know what he’s looking at, those computers are all linked up to each other...} Anyway, I got something to show you. Brock: What? Claire: Well, remember how Ash shot you in the arm? Brock (Extreme sarcasm): No, I totally forgot. Claire: Well, how about we give him a little scare? Brock: Eh? Claire pulls a gun out of her bag and shoots Brock in his other arm. ~~~~~ All: O_o; ~~~~~ Brock: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! You crazy bitch!!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Claire: Um.... oops? ~~~~~ CATS: If that that remains, the hippopotamus it tilts. (That’s it, this is rediculous.) CATS pulls out a giant laser and aims it at Efluie. Efluie: Don’t even try it, I know your weakness! CATS charges the gun.... Efluie: Ok, for great justice, move every zi.... Blammo! Efluie is blasted into southern Mongolia. Cornfed: Well, that was productive..... ~~~~~ The Scene: Level 2, near the elevator (Mewtwo, Abra, Misty, and Flareon are in position to storm the bridge from the left elevator, and Pikachu, Jenny, Ash, and Charmander are ready at the right elevator. Bob, Vicki and her Arcanine and in position [so to speak] in front of a video screen.) Bob: Okay, now...umm....Ya know, I really don't know how to coordinate something like this. Vicki: Then go away. Bob: Okay, bye. (leaves) Vicki: Good, now at least I have a little privacy. (starts sucking off the Arcanine) (Unbeknownst to her, Bob has just patched the video feed into every moniter in the ship, not just the bridge's viewscreen, so there's a very nice view from almost every angle. Yum!) ~~~~~ Ryoga: {Nosebleed, Welcome to the Red Sea} Ranma: Damnit! Will someone get him a fucking aspirin!? ~~~~~ Abra: OOOOWOWOOOWOOWOOOWOWOOOOWOWOOWOWOOWOWOWOOWOWOOOOWWOOO!!!!!!!!!!! Misty: I told you not to look!!! Mewtwo: Uh, look, why don't just you stay behind and take care of him? Misty: Yeah, I figure he'll just try to hump the wall if I don't. (and Abra tries to hump the wall!) Misty: Stop that! The Scene: The Bridge (Pikachua is fucking Pikachu's sluts while watching Vicki getting fucked by the Arcanine [yippie!!!] and suddenly, the elevators open and Mewtwo, Jenny, Ash, Pikachu, Flareon, and Charmander storm the bridge!) Pikachua: GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!!!!! (shocks everyone but Pikachu back into the elevators) Pikachu: Okay, dickhead, you've gone far enough! Now you get back to Pikacha and fuck her and make her happy and GIVE ME BACK MY SLUTS, YOU LITTLE YELLOW SHIT!!!!!!! (And they fight!!! Actually, Pikachu runs up to Pikachua and bitch-slaps him, then they fight like a couple of pimps.) ~~~~~ Luna: Pimp-Fighter II: The Street Warriors, coming to an Atari system near you! ~~~~~ The Scene: Level 2, near the elevator (Everyone comes tumbling out, then goes to watch Vicki getting fucked. After a few minutes, a pikachu [I'm not saying which one] walks out of the elevator.) Misty: Soooo.....which one is he? (all of a sudden, Brock walks up to them) Pikachu: Hey, it's the bitch! Brock: STOP CALLING ME BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!! ~~~~~ Everyone (Except CATS): BUT YOU ARE ONE! CATS: But you are 1 year old! (But you are one!) ~~~~~ Bob: Yep, it's the captain, all right! Charmander: I'll go deactivate the lockout and change our course. (Charmander runs into the elevator and goes up to the bridge) Pikachu: Hey, where's Vicki? (runs off) Misty: So what do we do with Pikachua? (and at that moment, Pikacha walks in!) Pikacha: (sees Pikachua) *Gasp!* My poor baby!!! (cuddles Pikachua) What did that nasty Pikachu do to you? Pikachua: (gurgling) Urrrrgghhh......... Pikacha: Let's get you home! (they leave) The Scene: Docking Bay 3 (everyone is there to see off Pikacha, Pikachua, Vicki, and her Arcanine.) Pikachu: Bye! Dr. Applby: See ya! Mewtwo: Come back soon! Abra: Oooooo.....Arcanine sex......OOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!! Misty: (exasperated) I give up! Bob: Be sure to bring some Vulpix next time! Brock: PLEASE BRING SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ash: Don't forget to write! Some Guy: John 3:16! The Scene: The Bridge, the next day (Everything's back to normal, and Pikachu is watching TV again.) Boy in commercial: Hey, wanna get into trouble? (remember that?) Other Boy: Sure! Boy in commercial: Great! Let's strip naked and kiss in public! ~~~~~ All men: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Luna: How cute. Ixies: Mm Mm good! ~~~~~ Commercial: When you just can't get laid, call Abraham Sluts Co. Otherwise, you're just another virgin. Commercial: For those times when you just gotta fuck that ass, use Buttman Lube! Buttman Lube: We're really slick! Commercial: Coming up next, on Homo-Erotic Adventures... Voice in Commercial: Oh, Bill, take me now! Other Voice: It would be my pleasure, George! ~~~~~ All men: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Luna: How cute. Ixies: Mm Mm good! Lunar Knight: Shadow! What is with this!? Shadow: It’s the TV of the future. .... ......... That’s right, be afraid, very afraid. Suddenly Efluie teleports in. Efluie: Ok, you bastard! You’re not getting away this time! Efluie rushes CATS and punches him in the face. CATS: How you! Damaging me, may? my grammar makes me invincible! (How can you hurt me!? My grammar makes me invincible!) Efluie: Ha! I used my time in Mongolia wisely. Efluie shows a diploma that declares her an official Mongolian English Teacher. Duckman: They teach English in Mongolia? Cornfed: Obviously not. Efluie: Die! Efluie and CATS start bitch-fighting each other for control of the projector. Reef: Oh, this is soooo wonderful.... Lunar Knight(2): Yep.... Vegeta: I'm a wittwe tea pot.... Gwwww.... I'm youw wittwe buttewfwy, gween, bwack and bwue make the..... son of a bitch! You spoony bawd! AHHHHHHH!!!!! Bleep: _____! _! ___________! Reef(2): Its times like this I expect a big chunk of rock to come flying out of space and hit me...... Davey: WAZZZZZZAP!!!! Everyone stares at Davey. Dave: .... um... I mean *Fart* Everyone lets out a sigh of relief. Ranma: Why can’t I ever have a normal day? Efluie :Take that! Vegeta: I think I know how to get my voice back! Aww I have to do is....... Oh, ese conejo screwy! MIERDA! Estoy hablando en español otra vez! de Nooooooooooo Ixies: For once, I feel so confused that I don’t feel like hurting anyone.... Alex: Hey, Luna, while everyone’s busy, why don’t we... um..... you know.... *Whap* Alex: Nevermind.... CATS: That mine namely mine! (Its mine, its mine!) Shadow: .......why me? Ryoga: Man, I don’t feel too good..... Ranma: Well, you’ve lost about 3 pints of blood already.... Ryoga: Shut up! Efluie: Eh..... why not.... CATS, go ahead and finish... CATS: What? the Er.... I mean my predominance characteristic which your now is verified! (What? Er.... I mean, you now recognize my superiority!) ~~~~~ *click* Pikachu: Okay, who's been fucking with my channel subscription?!?!?!?! End Episode! ~~~~~ CATS: Denunciation that of God. (Goddamnit.) ~~~~~ ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Ta-da! The first episode of the third season! I just hope I can make every episode as good as this one. Of course, it could be that this episode sucks.........nahhh. Also, I'd like to dedicate this episode to Rosie for the evil clone idea! ;) And now, your regularly scheduled teasers for the next episode of: Pokémon: The Next Pikachu! The Rapidash travels to a remote planet! ~~~~~ All: Ooooooo ~~~~~ Abra tries to fuck *something*!!! ~~~~~ All: Owwwwwww..... ~~~~~ Dr. Applby discovers a secret to his family history! ~~~~~ All(Except CATS): Not even going to ask.... ~~~~~ The crew travels to the Old West!!! (not back in time) ~~~~~ All(Sans CATS): Still not asking...... ~~~~~ Mewtwo becomes a sheriff!!! ~~~~~ All: .............. ~~~~~ SaraJ guest-stars!! All this and much, much more (kinda) on the next episode of: Pokémon: The Next Pikachu! ~~~~~ Efluie: Okay! Now we finish mine! Ryoga/Duckman: NOOOOO! Efluie: Oh, shut up. ~~~~~ ----- Umbrella Air Base, Hallway (3:00 PM) Umbrella Guard: Hey, you three! Stop where you are! Ash: Uh oh, looks like we’re in trouble. Misty: Don’t just sit there, shoot him! All three pull up their guns and fire, and three nifty ‘BANG!’ flags come out of the barrels. ~~~~~ Reef: So that's where my guns went! ~~~~~ Misty: Um.... oops? Ash: Misty.... I am not even going to say anything..... except for YOU DUMB BITCH, WHY ARE WE SHOOTING PEOPLE WITH FAKE GUNS!? Misty: Um... oops? While Ash and Misty are um... ‘discussing’ their current plight, Koga disappears is a flash of leaves, and re-appears behind the guard and knocks him out. Misty: Um... Koga, how’d you do that? Koga: I’m a ninja remember? ~~~~~ Alex: If he's a ninja, I'm the Dragonmaster! Luna: Alex, I think you're forgetting something... ~~~~~ Ash: I thought you gave that up to sit around the pokécenter trying to steal pot? Koga: Quiet you! ~~~~~ Ranma: Ryoga: I wonder how you pronounce HTML...? ~~~~~ ----- ????? (3:10) Wesker: Bernard, you sure you know what you’re doing? I don’t want to waste any more time or money than I need to on this. Bernard: Don’t worry, I know what I’m doing, you just stick to your plans and let me carry out mine. Wesker: Fine, but if you do screw up, it comes out of your pocket, not mine. Bernard: Hey, if we’re going to work together, you need to quit being such an ass. ~~~~~ Davey: (Fart) ~~~~~ Wesker: Whatever.... You always were too nice anyway... Bernard: Just making up for how screwed up you are.... ----- Umbrella Air Base, Testing Lab (3:15) Koga: Now both of you should be careful, no telling what could jump out at you. And without my help, it could get scary. Misty: What do you mean without your help? Before Misty could even glance over where Koga was standing, he had already grabbed the pack and headed off toward the room labeled ‘Medical Marijuana’. ~~~~~ Luna: I wonder what gave you the idea to make Koga a pothead, anyway...? LK: Do I need a reason? LK(2): No! Not at all! LK(3): Yes. LK/LK(2): O_o; ~~~~~ Ash: Well, he’s a lot of help.... but he is right, who knows what could jump out. Misty: Oh come on, I’m sure it’s perfectly safe, they probably have..... AHHHHH!!!! What’s that!? And then, ‘it’ crawls over and crawls up her leg. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Monster Info: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Name: Cockroach Type: Insect Length: A little over an inch. Weight: Really light. A regular roach.... yep, no mutant deformities, just a regular bug. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX ~~~~~ Duckman: I'm suddenly reminded of my old house... ~~~~~ Ash: Nothing to worry about, it’s just a roach. Misty: Get it off, get it off, get it off, get it off, get it off, get it off, get it off, get it off, get it off, get it off, get it off, get it off, get it off, get it off, get it off, get it off, get it off, get it off, get it off, get it off, get it off, get it off, get it off! ~~~~~ Alex: Well, that's Misty for you. ~~~~~ Ash flicks the roach off of Misty’s leg and it hits a test tube. Ash goes over to examine it while Misty starts grabbing the listed chemicals. Ash: You know, this place gives me the creeps... I don’t even know wha... Gwah! Misty: What is it now? Ash: G....G....Gary! Misty: Wha...!? Ash: In the tube! ~~~~~ All: O_o;;; Shadow: That must be one big honkin' tube! Ryoga: (nosebleed, faint) Luna: ...I do NOT want to know what was going through his mind ~~~~~ Misty: Oh, well, he can’t hurt anyone from in there, now can he? Ash: I guess not... Misty: Now hurry up and help me get these chemicals before you accidentally set it free. Ash: Don’t even say that.... ----- Umbrella Air Base, Room o Pot Koga is frantically shoving packages of marijuana into the pack, when suddenly a robotic voice comes over the intercom. Intercom: Intruder detected, releasing emergency Magmar. A Magmar comes out of a hidden panel in the wall and prepares to fry Koga and his stolen goods. Koga: Not this time! I’ve come prepared! Superior Ninja Technique, Hyper Aqua Blast! ~~~~~ Reef: Hey! I know that attack! ~~~~~ Koga pulls back and spits a big loogie on the fire pokémon, making it faint. Koga: I won! Who’s the man! Who’s the man! Intercom: Magmar defeated, sending in Charizards Five Charizards walk in. ~~~~~ Alex: Do you like your Koga fried or flambéd? Luna: Flambé! ~~~~~ Koga: ..........damnit...... *Whoosh* -----Umbrella Air Base, Testing Lab Misty: Ok, I think this is the last one. Ash: Let’s get Koga and get out of here! Misty: Alright, the map says there are escape pods across the hall. Suddenly Koga comes running through the room, with his pants on fire, and proceeds to run across the hall into an escape pod. ~~~~~ LK: (Brock) That was really disturbing. ~~~~~ Intercom: Intruders in the Testing Lab, full alert. Misty: I think we should hurry up and leave. Ash: But won’t they just shoot the pods out of the sky? Misty: Looks like we’re going to find out the hard way. ~~~~~ (Everyone looks at Ryoga, but he's already out like a light with a tissue stuffed up his nose) ~~~~~ Ash: I have an idea, hurry and get into the pod! Misty: Don’t do anything stupid now. Ash: Don’t worry, I’m not going to do anything dumb, look who you’re talking to! Misty: ....... Misty reluctantly walks across the hall into a pod and escapes. Ash quickly goes over to Gary’s tube and presses a bunch of buttons and then runs into a pod and leaves. Ash’s random button pressing had opened the tube and severely unbalanced the chemicals that were going into the Tyrant’s body, sending it into a frenzy; just more of Ash’s blind luck. And as Ash slowly dropped toward Bright Town, he could swear he heard someone faintly speaking to him through the pod’s com system about some sort of reunion. Next up: Pokéball: Evil 7 -The Reunion- ~~~~~ Ranma: Can we go home now? Efluie: Yeah, yeah, whatever.... Ranma picks up Ryoga and walks away. Lunar Knight: You know... this whole thing probably won’t make any sense for people who read my MSTs at Shadow’s site. Shadow: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Lunar Knight: Hey, come on, people read my stuff.... Shadow: *pfft* heh, yeah, sure..... Lunar Knight: ........ Lunar Knight(2): Well, we still seem to have a problem here.... Reef(2): Oh, don’t worry, I found another plot hole, Icy must have dropped this one too. Lunar Knight: No, not that..... ---------- Location: My 1st MST ::The crew is back in the living room next to the ‘Lemon Room’:: Ash: So now what? {Lunar Knight}: You can do what you want until I do another MSTing. So, how do you like your jobs? Ash: It’s ok.. Alex: It got Luna horny, so I like it! Luna: Make commercials so we have time for a quick fuck. Alex: Cartman: Killer-sweet. Suddenly Icy falls into the room from a plot hole. Lunar Knight: It’s a spy! Kill it! Kill it!!!!!!!! Icy: Oh shit...... Fade to black..... ----- Lunar Knight: Anyway, I feel like it doesn’t matter now.... Reef(2): Well, anyway, I’d better use this so we can get back to the SUL. LK(2)/Cornfed/Duckman/Vegeta: .............. Reef(2) activates the plot hole. Reef: Wait, you can’t leave yet, you have to see this! Efluie: What? Reef pulls off his face and it’s really Richard Nixon. All: ????????? Doc: That reminds me.... Doc pulls off his face and it’s really SaraJ! All: ?????????????????????????! Sara: Hey guys! Efluie: Um... let’s get out of here.... Reef: For once I agree! Everyone who belongs in Reef’s MST returns into the plot hole. CATS: This is because of me, fucked method excessively. Waiting! (This is way too fucked up, even for me. Wait up!) CATS follows them. Sara: Wait for me! Sara follows. Lunar Knight: Ok, I understand Sara.... but where’s Reef? ---- Location: The “A” Bar Reef: Gotta love it! THE END!