Insanity Science Theater 2000: "Ash's Wish" Sara Jaye (sarajnes@aol.com) [Disclaimer: This story contains sexual content, cursing, and odd refs, and should not be read by those under 18 and/or those who are offended by such things. If you do not like this kind of thing, do not read this and then bitch that you were offended, or there will be hell to pay. But if you do enjoy this stuff and/or are 18 and older, enjoy!] This lemon is the property of the infamous Marcus Yu (and he can keep it!). This is not meant to slander or insult Mr. Yu. He's really not so bad, just a crazy person with strange tastes in hentai. But then again, nothing's wrong with that, right? :P Mystery Science Theater 3000 and the concept are copyright Best Brains Inc. Jan Brady is copyright of Sherwood Schwartz, and Pokémon is copyright of Nintendo, GameFreak, and 4Kids. Dr. Forrester and Frank are copyright of Best Brains, inc. Nancy, Richie, Vicki, and Rhonda belong to me. ^_^ Ok, that's enough disclaimer. Let the show begin! --- Insanity Science Theater 2000! In the not-too-distant future, Somewhere in a small town, Dr. Forester and TV's Frank Had an evil plan going down. They caught Nancy Keller and 2 friends, Who were waiting until the school day ends. Their experiment needed a good test case, So they signed up with the government and shot them into space! (WTF?!) They'll send them stupid fanfics The worst they can find, (la-la-la) They have to sit and view them all While they monitor their minds. (la-la-la) Now remember these kids can't control where the fanfics begin or end, (la-la-la) But Nancy will try to keep her sanity, With the help of all her friends! *Insane Teen Roll Call* Vicki! (Smeg it, at least we're not at school!) Richie! (What is this person SMOKING?) Rhonda! (Someone has to do the cooking around here...) Jaaaaan Brady! (That's 1 'A'-wait, what am I doing here?!) If you're wondering how they eat and breathe, And other science facts (la-la-la) Then repeat to yourself, "It's just a show, I should really just relax," For Insanity Science Theater 2000! ~Satellite of Weirdness~ *Nancy is playing Mega Man 2, Vicki is reading, and Richie is causing havoc in an mIRC teen channel. Rhonda is heating up some coffee, and Jan is reading.* Jan: Jeez, one minute I'm playing checkers with Peter, the next minute I get trapped on this sattelite stuck reading bad lemons. *shakes her head* The others are never going to believe me when I tell them about this. Richie: If it makes you feel any better, neither will anyone at school. Rhonda: I just don't see how the fascination 3 12-year-olds have with MSTing can lead to this... Suddenly, monitor beeps. Nancy: Ugh...not them again. *turns off the game and drags herself to the monitor* Forrester: Hello, my little prisoners. Ready for tonight's featured lemon? All: No. Forrester: Too bad. Nancy: Well, whatever it is, it can't be as bad at that damn Ash and Misty lemon we had to read the last time. Vicki: "Love in the Forest"? That thing's being played in like, 7 satellites... Rhonda: Wow, it's that bad? Forrester: Well, this lemon also takes place in a forest...but it's not quite the same...and that's all I'll tell you for now. Frank: Wait, doesn't it involve Pikachu this time? *Smack!* OW! Forrester: *taping Frank's mouth shut* Well, I hope you enjoy...reading this. ;) *screen fades out* Rhonda: That reminds me too freakin much of Jeffrey Wong's lemon...*shudders* Richie: Damn it...hey Jan, you look nice this evening... Jan: Don't even try. Richie: *mutters* Vicki: Oh, smeg! We've got the LEMON SIGN! *Door 5: Steve Case being beaten silly with soda cans.* *Door 4: Furby being toasted by one of Lina Inverse's fireballs.* *Door 3: DiC getting their asses kicked by the Sailor Senshi and anyone else who was a victim of their bad dubbing.* *Door 2: The Linux Penguin being sodomized by the Jigglypuff in "jigglyprick.jpg <>.* *Door 1: A giant can of Spam.* ~theater~ Nancy: Frank mentioned Pikachu in this...that cannot be good. Richie: Well...maybe Pikachu's the one who suggests Ash fucks Duplica? Vicki: I hope so. *They sit down.* >Ash's Wish-Brock's Wish Part II Richie: Formerly "Ash gets laid". Vicki: Well, considering this is a lemon, he will... Nancy: But considering this is a Marcus Yu work...he aint gonna get it from Duplica. He'll probably rape Jessie or something. Richie: Wait-where did the thing about Ash and Duplica come from again? Nancy: I dunno...I think someone on the internet mentioned it a few times. >"Hey guys!" exclaimed Ash as he leapt through the bushes. Nancy: Don't! You don't know what's lurking in there! There could be snakes...rats...spiders... Richie: Or even...Furbies!! Nancy&Vicki: Ahh!! >Ash Ketchum definitely did not expect to see the sight that was now >before him. Vicki: It's...THE UGLY NAKED GUY!! > Brock and Misty were both naked as a jaybird on the grass before him. Richie: Oh, nevermind...it's just Brock and Misty naked together. Vicki: Oh, that's a...waitaminute-BROCK AND MISTY!? Nancy: Could be worse...remember "Pikachu's First"? All: *shudder* > "Pika..?" Pikachu stared inquisitively. Richie: Don't look, Pikachu! You'll be traumatized for life! > "Oh my God!" Ash cried. "What the hell are you guys doing!" Richie: Uh...the laundry? Nancy: Duh, moron, we just fucked in a bad lemon! The hell do you think? Vicki: Well, she tripped and her clothes fell off, and my penis broke her fall. Richie: *stifles a laugh* Not that again... >"Uhhh, errr..." Neither of them could come up with an answer. >"That's it, I'm gonna become a Pokémon master by myself without you >guys! Nancy: This bought to you by the Redundant Department of Redundancy Department. >I'm outta here!" > With that, Ash scooped up Pikachu and stomped off back into the >woods. > "Stupid horny no-good.." Vicki: Bastards? Nancy: Idiots? Richie: Motherfuckers? Vicki: Well, they ARE fuckers, so that's pretty accutate. Nancy and Richie: Agh... >Muttering under his breath, Nancy: And the redundancy strikes again... Vicki: No, there is sort of a difference between muttering and talking under your breath. If it's under your breath, people usually can't hear you that well...I think. Richie: Well, if it is redundant, it's justified. I use that all the time. >Ash collapsed onto the forest floor and looked up through the >canopy at the sky. "I wish I could get laid." Vicki: Don't we all. > "Pika.." Pikachu put his paw firmly on Ash's shoulder. Ash looked >over and saw a different look in Pikachu's eye and knew what it meant. Nancy: No...please don't let it mean what I think it does! Vicki: It could mean all kinds of things... Richie: Like? Vicki: Like...maybe he knows how to get to the House of Imeté? > Immediately Ash began to undress as Pikachu smiled from anticipation. Vicki: ...I stand corrected. *All shudder* > "Okay, Pikachu! I'm done undressing, do your stuff!" Richie: Ok. *picks up a phone* Officer Jenny? I'd like to report Ash Ketchum for Pokémon molesting while under the influence of a bad lemon. Nancy: *blinks* Since when can Pikachu talk? Richie: *shrugs* I dunno. > Pikachu squealed with glee as he turned around Nancy: And kicked Ash's ass, trying to snap him the fuck out of this. >and stuck his long, jagged tail up Ash's rear end. All: ...OWWWW!!! *wince* > He then arched his back in such a way that he was able to bend >over backwards between Ash's leg Vicki: Of course, he's gonna hurt like hell tomorrow. Nancy: I am NOT watching this. Vicki: I second that! Richie: This is just scary. *they duck behind their chairs* *A few minutes later* Richie: I think it's over... *They get back in their seats* > "Pi...ka...chu!" > A split second before Ash climaxed, Vicki: The lemon police showed up and cuffed them for fucking in such a sick way, in a public forest. >Pikachu let loose a thundershock that caused him to have an orgasm >that was completely undescribable. Richie: I can describe it in a nice, short way: BS. Pure BS. >Ash experienced Vicki: Severe pain. >complete ecstasy before the two collapsed to the floor. Nancy: And Ash never woke up, the pain was so great it killed him. The end. > "Pikachu," Ash sighed. Richie: You come near my ass with that thing again and I'll make you watch that Snorlax yaoi video. Nancy: Nooo! Anything but that! I'll be good! >"You're the best friend in the world." Nancy: Then Dima walked in "Hahaha you are all naked" then Dima shot them with a machine gun. Richie&Vicki: *try not to laugh* Old joke, Nance! *they fail and bust up laughing along with Nancy* >-- >Marcus Yu All: Screw you, Yu! *they walk out of the theater* *Back at the Satellite* Jan: So...how was the lemon? All: It sucked. Nancy: That thing was truly disturbing. Richie: The other version wasn't much better, but still...at least THAT one didn't offer painful images. Vicki: Well, smeg it. At least it was short. Rhonda: So, on a scale of 1 to 10, how much did it suck? All: 15. Jan: Well, what do you expect from a Marcus Yu lemon...I'm surprised his stuff even got put in the Archive. *Monitor beeps* Richie: Gah... *answers* Forrester: So, did you enjoy Mr. Yu's composition? Richie: Yeah, the same way I enjoy a pop quiz in history. Vicki: It was so stupid. Nancy: Marcus needs to stop taking drugs before attempting to write a lemon. Forrester: Have we gone insane yet? All: Nope. Forrester! Damnation! Well, next time you won't get off so easily...no pun intended. And next time, your friends will join you. Jan and Rhonda: D'OH! Forrster: See you next week! Frank: *snickers* Get off... Forrester: Shut up! *Can be heard smacking Frank as the screen fades out.* Nancy: Well, at least we have a week before the next pile of hairballs. *fade out* --- Comments? Questions? And remember, I MST flames, so think twice before sending any. >:P --- >"That's it, I'm gonna become a Pokémon master by myself without you >guys!