The Time: Whenever The Place: Reef's Secret Underwater Lair (currently in Earth's orbit) The Plot: (gasp) CAN IT BE!?! The return of EFLUIE and RYOKO!!! (crowd chears) Cast: (whoo boy) AGNPH regs: Reef Watertype Kaleidoar Lunar Knight X Tenchi Muyo: Ryoko Ryo-Ohki DBZ Folks: Piccolo Vegeta Bulma Toonami: TOM Duckman: Duckman Cornfed Fluffy & Uranus Original Characters: Ixies Efluie Bleep Inanimate Objects: Lemon Disclaimer: Since I'm not making any money off this, it'll be too hard for you to sue me, and I'm protected under the parody clause! (I think) ~~~~~~~~~ BEGIN MST ~~~~~~~~~ (Reef is busy napping, when all of a sudden the entire SUL shakes, and an alarm goes off) Reef: Huh? What the fuck? What’s going on!?! (Fluffy and Uranus run by, folowed by Cornfed) Cornfed: I think we’re under attack... Reef: By fucking who!?! (Reef runs to the nearest window, which just happens to be in the staging area’s ceiling... Everybody in the SUL is gazing up) Reef: What’s going on--- Whoah... Kaleidoar: What is it? LKX: It looks like a gaint cabbage... Ixies: Hang on, wait a sec... Kaleidoar? What the hell? I thought you used to be an Articuno!?! Kaleidoar: Huh? Reef: Guh? LKX: Mmmmm... Articuno.... Ixies: Oh, never-fucking-mind... (They all go back to staring at the thing next to the SUL) Duckman: Wait a sec... Isn’t that Ryo-Ohki? Cornfed: It would appear so, but doesn’t that mean... (Suddenly, the MST broadcasting screens flare up, and the face of the meanest, baddest Espeon they’d ever seen blinks onto the screen) All, especially Reef: EFLUIE!?! Efluie: That’s right! I’m back to bust some heads, you filthy fish! Take this!!! (she presses a button, and Ryo-Ohki’s lighthawk wings flare up, chopping off LKX’s house, which promptly falls into the atmosphere and burns up) LKX: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Kalei: ...What’s her problem? Reef: She’s my Ex... Kalei: Oy, that explains a few things... Efluie: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! Reef: Fluffy, Uranus, put on some spacesuits and fix the hole in the SUL, I’m going to have a word with Eflu--- (Ryoko’s head squeezes onto the viewscreen) Ryoko: This is MY ship you damned cat! Let me blow some stuff up! Efluie: MREOW!!! (attacks Ryoko) All: (sweatdrop) (meanwhile, outside) Fluffy and Uranus: (speaking straight toward camera) Mr. Watertype, we’ve read the script... (switch) And we don’t really agree with what happens ne--- (Caused by the fighting on the ship, Ryo-Ohki crashes into the hole in the SUL, not only sealing it, but knocking Fluffy and Uranus into the atmosphere, as well) Fluffy and Uranus: AHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... (they burn up in a puff of smoke) (back in the staging area, Efluie [wearing Ixies-esque leather] Ryoko, and Ryo-Ohki [in cabbit form] pop out of the elevator. Ryoko: Hmmph, now look what you’ve done, we’re stuck on this damn thing with them. Efluie: No matter, we can still exact our revenge for them booting us off... IXIES!!! (Efluie runs straight into the arms of the confused Jolteon, and begins licking her face) Ixies: Uh... Efluie? Efluie: It took that fish to teach me, but I LOVE YOU!!! Ixies: What? You do!?! I LOVE YOU TOO!!! (they start making out) Ryoko: (sweatdrop) Boy, you must feel special, Reef, you turned her into a lesbian... Reef: Okay, what the hell are you guys doing here? Ryoko: We’re taking over, Reef! Time to exact our revenge upon you all! Eh, except Bulma and Piccolo, I always liked them! Bulma: Ooo! Really? Piccolo: Uh, thanks, I guess... It’s not like I ever got a big part in this stinking MST series, anyway... (Ryoko snaps her fingers and the two of them dissapear back to the DBZ world) Vegeta: Hey! What about me!?! Ryoko: Tough, I only have enough power to blink one more person back, and I think Lunar Knight here is the best candidate... I always liked him too. LKX: (dumbstruck that a female likes him) Whoo-hoo! No thanks, I’m staying here with you! Ryoko: (shrugs) Suit yourself... I guess I’ll use this power to do something else, instead... I know! I’ll blink the lemon back to earth! (does so) Vegeta: (realizing that the lemon has one-upped him once again) ... LKX: (realizing that he just passed up his chance to escape) ... Reef: (realizing he just lost his lemon) ... Vegeta: I HATE THAT FUCKING LEMON!!! (breaks down and cries) Ryoko: (taps the “occupied” Efluie on the shoulder) Fluster, I think we should get on with it... Efluie: Oh yeah! Come Ixies, Ryoko! Time to subject them to the trash! Ryoko: Whoo! (they hop in the elevator and get on the intercom) Intercom: Okay people, everybody but Reef, that rainbow chick, Duckman, and Lunar Knight get out of the staging area! TOM: Lator gators! Vegeta: (sniff) My mighty Saiya-jin pride, destroyed by a stinking fruit... Cornfed: May your deaths be swift and merciful... (the three of them leave) LKX: Hey Reef, does Efluie know about the Virus? Reef: If she doesn’t, like hell I’d tell her about it!! ~~~~~ Pokéball: Evil - Escape - ~~~~~ LKX: Hey! Wait a fucking second!!! TRASH!?! ~~~~~ -----Cinnabar Umbrella Facility (Supply Dock) 5:45 PM (15 minutes before the end of the previous ep.) Umbrella Goon: They’d better pay me something for you, or you’re gonna be in big trouble. Misty: Let go of me you asshole! What the hell do you want with me? Goon: Well, it’s not what I want that you should worry about, it’s what the guys inside the building are going to do. ~~~~~ Reef: Eheh... Should I even comment? Duckman: Yes!!! Kalei: No!!! ~~~~~ Misty: What!? Who’s in there? What do they want with me? ...What is that behind you! AHHHHHH!!!! Goon: Yea, like I’m gonna fall for that. That’s so old people don’t even bother using it anymore unless.... oh shit. ~~~~~ LKX: Hehe.. Reef: Y’know, LKX... it’s bad form to laugh at your own jokes... ~~~~~ *Thump* The sight of the man’s head lightly hitting the floor wasn’t the reason that Misty started crying at that point, she could care less about him, ~~~~~ Reef: Insensitive bitch... ~~~~~ but the sight of the battered Wartortle in front of her, with an overly augmented claw on its one arm was the case of her sadness. From the one arm she could immediately tell it was Ash’s. ~~~~~ Kalei: Oh, yeah... right, I bet Ash owns the only one-armed Wartortle in existance... ~~~~~ Misty: Oh my ..... what happened to you? Wartortle: tort---le..... Misty: You look really beat up, we’d better see if anyone inside can help you. Misty started walking toward the building while Wartortle stayed and took one last look at the man he had just killed... ~~~~~ Reef: (Wartortle) I can’t believe it’s not butter! ~~~~~ -----Cinnabar Umbrella Facility (Floor 1 - Medical Room) 5:50 PM Misty: Hmmm... it’s odd that this place is empty, the man that took me here acted as if this place had someone in it. Now just wait a second for me to find a first-aid kit. Misty started looking through cabinets and drawers while Wartortle took a look around the room. Not much: a desk, some file cabinets and closets, a few beds, ~~~~~ (Duckman's eyes glaze over) Reef: Hmmph, we've gotta do something about him... ~~~~~ five aquatic tanks (one with a tentacool inside, which looks long dead), and a poster on the wall that shows the proper way to conduct the heimlich maneuver. He was thinking about how that was kind of odd since the person working in this room should know how to do it when he was interrupted by a shrill shriek from Misty. It seems that the Tentacool wasn’t as dead as he had first thought, but it still looked and smelled dead. ~~~~~ Reef: ZOM-bie! Intercom: That's our magic word of the day! Every time the word "Zombie" is uttered, ya gotta do 20 pushups! All: (groan) ~~~~~ Wartortle: tortle.... I... I’ll help you. Misty: No, you’re too beat up ~~~~~ Kalei: Hello?? That thing just talked! ~~~~~ ...huh? How did you...? ~~~~~ Reef: Hmmph, now it dawns on her... (groan) 3... ~~~~~ With that wartortle made a dash at the tentacool and was met with a firm tentacle slap. Not letting that stop him, he got up and tackled it with it’s shell. After the Tentacool was down, Wartortle went over to its body and put his claw on it, but the claw seemed to go through it instead. Then after a flash of light similar to a pokémon evolution, Wartortle was the only one there, but he was different, he had Tentacool’s tentacles thrashing out from under his shell. Misty: What was that!? Wartortle: I.. I don’t know. Misty: AND HOW ARE YOU TALKING!? ~~~~~ LKX: Y'see, when Wartortle absorbs something, he gets it's memories and abilit--- All: WHO ASKED YOU!?! ~~~~~ Wartortle: *Sigh* I don’t know what’s happening to me. One minute I’m helping Ash put out a fire, the next minute I’ve been shot into the ocean, then I end up here and I happen to see you. When I saw that guy dragging you around, I noticed my claw had been misshapen and I just ran and took him out. Then when you went into the building, something inside me was telling me to take another look at the body, next thing I know, the body’s gone. The same with the Tentacool.... But all I do know is that I’m loosing control and I can’t keep my head straight. Misty: Maybe there’s something in this building that can help you. I think it’s an Umbrella facility ~~~~~ All: ... ~~~~~ Wartortle: {Thinks about the 50-some Umbrella symbols they passed on the way to the Medical Room} What gave it away you stupid bitch!? ~~~~~ Kalei: Our sentiments exactly... ~~~~~ Misty: Don’t you call me a bitch! I’m trying to help you! ----- Cinnabar Umbrella Research Facility (Floor B4 - Holding Cells) 6:00 PM Claire: Hey! Is anyone out there? I’m Hungry! Are they trying to starve me? The Cell door slams open and Wartortle is standing there. ~~~~~ Reef: (Wartortle) Housekeeping! Duckman: Whoah! Honeymoon flashback! ~~~~~ Claire: What the hell..... Then Misty comes walking into the cell. Misty: Are you ok? We heard you screaming. Claire: Who are you, and what is THAT!? ~~~~~ Reef: (Wartortle) HOUSEKEEPING!!! ~~~~~ Misty: No time to explain. We need to find some kind of cure for him before he looses it. Wartortle: Come on! Let’s go! Claire: It ..talks? ~~~~~ Reef: (Wartortle) Of course I talk! I'm the fucking housekeeping!!! Kalei: Okay Reef, that's enough of that... Reef: Heh heh... sorry, I got kinda carried away... ~~~~~ ----- Secret Team Rocket Base (Meeting Room) 12:00 Noon Giovanni: Well, I’m glad that you all are here. Ash: Cut the crap Giovanni! What the hell are you up to? Giovanni: I was about to get to that. But please realize, I didn’t take you here to fight, I actually need your help. ~~~~~ LKX: (Giovanni) I've been constipated for days on end, and my laxitive isn't working! (To a Team Rocket memeber) Get Ash the gloves! ~~~~~ Ash: We aren’t gonna help you with your crazy zombie schemes! ~~~~~ Reef: Annnnnnd 20!!! Intercom: 20 more! Get to work! LKX: How much you wanna bet this whole word-of-the-day thing is Ixies's idea? ~~~~~ Giovanni: Well, then I would be heartbroken, had I taken you here for that; no, you are here to help me stop the madness spread by Umbrella. Ash: But, you are helping Umbrella. Giovanni: What makes you think that? ~~~~~ Kalei: He's Ash, you need an excuse? ~~~~~ Ash: The package you had Professor Oak give Leon. Giovanni: Oh, yes the package. I hope you still have the contents. Leon: Right here in my pocket. ~~~~~ Reef: Oh please, anywhere but there... (gasp) 6!!! Kalei: Ack! Reef, did you just say sex? You're not going bi on me, are you!?! Reef: ... ~~~~~ Giovanni: Good. We will require that soon enough. Allow me to explain what I need from you. A few months ago, Umbrella came into this region. Immediately I sent in a few spies to see what this new company was doing here. What we found was extraordinary, a virus that actually turned people into the living dead. Of course we tried to one-up them by copying the virus and selling it as a war weapon before them, but we had underestimated them. They knew about my spies the whole time, and they actually LET me take the sample that I thought I had successfully stolen from their base. They came and sabotaged our base, spilling the virus and letting loose a monster. I managed to get rid of the virus and lock up the monster, but not after loosing damn near every Rocket member in the process. Now it’s just us. ~~~~~ Reef: Well, it ALL makes sence now, huh? ~~~~~ Oak: But it’s not all hopeless, we did manage to get that logo that Leon is holding. It’s important to umbrella, and they want it back; although, we have yet to discover its use. ~~~~~ Reef: LKX, just how did they get their hands on that logo anyway? LKX: I haven't the slightest. Reef: But didn't you write this? LKX: ... ~~~~~ Ash: So, you really are against Umbrella? Giovanni: For once, we are acting legit. ~~~~~ All: (cough)bullshit(coughcough) ~~~~~ We need all the help we can, and I know you do too. I have a large weapons stockpile in this base and you are all free to use them. Leon: That solves one problem. ~~~~~ Duckman: (glancing up at the observation booth) If only we could get our own hands on some heavy artilery... Kalei: Well, at least we're MSTing LKX's story in a nice, relaxing forest. It could be wor-- Reef: Kalei, don't say it... Kalei: (swetdrop) Oh, right... LKX: Say what? It could be worse? (the air conditioners pop on and it begins to snow) All: (groan) ~~~~~ Ash: Alright, I’ll help, how about you guys. ~~~~~ Duckman: We're fucking freezing! ~~~~~ Chris: It looks like our best option, other than go out alone and get killed. ~~~~~ Reef: Understatement of the week goes to Chris. ~~~~~ ----- Cinnabar Facility (D lab - Floor 1) 3:00 PM Misty: This is the last room. It HAS to be here. Claire: Sorry, but I guess they didn’t have any antidote on-hand at this place, which gives good reason why it got infected so easily. But one thing bothers me, if this place was infected, which I can tell it was from the zombie ~~~~~ Intercom: HAH! That's another word before you finish your last 20! That's 40 more!!! Reef: And just what would happen if we refused to do the pushups? Intercom: We'd flood the staging area with toxic gas. Reef: (sweatdroop) We'll be good! (starts doing pushups really, really quickly) ~~~~~ we saw on the 2nd basement, where are all the rest of the bodies? We only saw about 4 of them, these Umbrella places are usually full of scientists. Misty: That is odd.... *Slam* And on the standard B-movie cue of someone asking a question, the answer showed itself by breaking into the room. ~~~~~ Reef: Rush Limbaugh? Kalei: A 10,000 pound Gorilla? Duckman: Davey? LKX: This joke feels familiar... Duckman: So sue us, the only things we have to read up here are your MSTs of Pokemon: The Next Pikachu! Speaking of which, when's the next one gonna be done? LKX: ... Duckman: Well? LKX: I'M WORKING ON IT!!! ~~~~~ XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Monster info: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Name: Triton Crab Type: Rabid Virus Kingler Height: 10 Feet 3 Inches Weight: 800 lbs. A Kingler that was infected by Wesker’s spill of the virus on the island. It is very large, and partially decayed. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX ~~~~~ Kalei: Wait a sec... how could a Kingler be decayed? It's all exoskeleton... LKX: (extremely annoyed) Use your imagination, will ya? It's hard writing this stuff... Reef: Speaking of which, I'm probably insane for helping Efluie out, but you're not really riffing this well... I wanna give you some incentive. LKX: Huh? (Reef reaches into his pants and pulls out a small purple ball, it quivers, and sprouts huge eyes and red feet) LKX: What in the world is that? Kalei: Awwwww! It's so cute! Reef: Back off, Love, this is a Bleep, it's one of the most dangerous creatures in the universe. LKX: Huh? Reef: It's cute for the first five minutes, but then it becomes annoying, really, really annoying. So annoying, the people subjected to it become suicidal. What's even worse, is that luck changes around this creature. It's impossible to kill, and the people around it also are unable to be killed. You'd be suicidal, yet always failing to kill yerself. LKX, if you don't riff this well, I'm gonna sick this thing on you. LKX: Uhhhh... Bleep: ____! LKX: Hey! It's a pokemon! It just said its name! Reef: It's different, it's not spelled "bleep," it's spelled "____!" LKX: O...kay... ~~~~~ Misty: Oh no... Claire: Run! ~~~~~ Bleep: ____! Reef: (shudders) You'd better riff this damn well, bucko... (puts the Bleep back in his pants) ~~~~~ Misty and Claire run for the door, and are halfway out the room when the blinding light gets their attention. Claire: What was..... Misty: Oh no, not again. ~~~~~ (everyone stares at LKX) LKX: What? NOW? Okay, okay (he sighs) LKX: (Misty) Oh no, I've spotaneoulsy orgasmed again! All: ... ~~~~~ As Misty had feared, ~~~~~ LKX: ... fine... (narrator) Her panties were soaked. All: ... ~~~~~ Wartortle had taken in the Kingler and now, he looked just the same, but not for long, as a crab-claw arm burst out of the stump that was missing an arm, leaving a bloody mess on the ground. ~~~~~ LKX: Because Misty had also just had her period! Hey! This is fun! Reef: Okay, that's quite enough of that. (He throws Bleep at LKX anyway, it hops on his shoulder and nuzzles) ~~~~~ Misty: Are you ok? Wartortle: I don’t think... it’s too much..... I ... I.... Claire: What’s wrong? ~~~~~ LKX: (halfassed) There's a purple ball with red feet and huge eyes on my shoulder, it must be affecting Wartortle. Reef: That's the spirit, LKX! ~~~~~ Wartortle: DIE HUMANS! Misty: I think running still looks like a good idea. Claire: I’m with you. ~~~~~ Duckman: Why... (snicker) Why don't you two just have a huge o-- (snicker) orgy-- I (bursts into maniacle laughter) I'm sorry, I just can't do this, LKX looks so damn pathetic! LKX: (attempting to shoo the Bleep of his shoulder, failing) I'll get you for this Reef, I swear... Kalei: (also watching LKX) Love, you're sadistsic... Reef: He's getting what's coming to him, you have any idea what kinds of things he's put ME through in his P:TNP MSTs? LKX: You wanted to be in them, Reef... Reef: A small detail not worth noting. ~~~~~ ----- Secret Rocket base 12:00 Midnight {Attention Team Rocket, we know you have what we want, return it and nobody gets hurt! If you fail to comply within 1 hour we will be forced to take action.} ~~~~~ Reef: (whoever just said that) We'll show you our collection of Leon-Mr. X yaoi! (Kalei looks slightly confused, Duckman and LKX visibly shudder) ~~~~~ Ash: Aww... what’s all that noise? I was trying to sleep. [This is Giovanni, everyone please report to the meeting room.] \/\/\/\/\/\/\/ ~~~~~ Kalei: What the... Duckman: I think Bart Simpson just walked across the screen! ~~~~~ Giovanni: This is bad. They have their air base right over us. Leon: Air Base? Giovanni: Most of the buildings in this area are able to fly in case of an emergency. Umbrella hadn’t seen this kind of thing before, but in one week they had improved on it’s original design and made a building that can fly much longer and much faster than normal. They filled it with weapons and monsters to attack anyone they needed to. Its an impenetrable base. ~~~~~ Duckman: (Leon) Okay, you KNEW about this, but didn't feel like telling us? That's it! I quit! ~~~~~ James: So, should we give them what they want? Giovanni: No then they’ll just kill us. James: But they said that they wouldn’t hurt us. ~~~~~ Duckman: (snorts) Idiot Kalei: Look who's talking... ~~~~~ Giovanni: And you wonder why you don’t make a good bad guy. ~~~~~ Reef: I thought it was the dress... ~~~~~ Oak: Look, we have a number of things to get to. First we need to get rid of Umbrella for now. Our solution to this is to give them back something they gave us, but definitely not what they want. I plan to send Cerebus back at them, but first someone needs to go into the storage bay and hit it with knockout gas. Jill: I’ll do it. ~~~~~ Kalei: She's either very brave, or very stupid, she doesn't even know what this "Cerebus" thing is... LKX: It's probably a mix of both. ~~~~~ Oak: Aright, I assume that you know the danger involved in handling such a beast. Jill: Would I still be alive if I didn’t? ~~~~~ Reef: (groan) Famous last words... Duckman: Five bucks says she gets eaten before the end of the episode. LKX: I'll take you up on that, care to make this wager a little more... interesting? Duckman: Sur--- waitasec, didn't you write this? LKX: Uh... no? Duckman: Fair enough. (pulls a hundred out of his wallet) ~~~~~ Oak: Alright. James, show her where to go. Now we need someone to go into the basement and activate the emergency system. It is similar to the Pokémon center system and will make this base airborne. But the problem is that some of the infected Team Rocket members are locked down there. Leon: I guess I’ll do it. Butch: I’ll help out. Cassidy: I guess I’ll go help too. ~~~~~ Duckman: (Leon) You got the naplam? Kalei: (Cassidy) I thought you brought it... Reef: (Butch) Shit. ~~~~~ Oak: Good. Now this one is for you Chris. We were tapping umbrella surveillance satellites and found your sister on the Cinnabar Island Umbrella base. ~~~~~ Reef: (blinks) Kalei: (also blinks) LKX: (trying to deal with Bleep) What? Duckman: Isn't it a little... convenient for them to be able to just tap into sur... ve... lannn... whatever satellites? Reef: I think we're the first riffers to have the pleasure of having the author actually in the room with us when the Lemon/Lime goes completely sour. Kalei: Let's take advantage of it. Duckman: More than we are already? Reef: Point... nevermind ~~~~~ Chris: Claire! Oak: As soon as we get this base in the air, we will go pick her up. But for now, I need you to do a favor for me. I need help checking the Umbrella Network for information on my grandson, he was taken by Umbrella and I can’t find anything on him. Ash: Gary.... ~~~~~ Kalei: Oh no... ~~~~~ Oak: Yes, it’s Gary. I know you don’t like him Ash, but he’s my family and I need to find him. Ash: Well, I got some bad news... ~~~~~ Kalei: (tears up) Reef: Oy... what am I, chopped liver? ~~~~~ ----- Pewter Pokémon Center 12:15 AM Brock: So, what do we do now? ~~~~~ Duckman: Masturbate until our dicks fall off. ~~~~~ Joy: I guess we can just land in another town, but that won’t keep the zombies ~~~~~ Intercom: HAH! Pushups for everyone! Reef: God that's getting old... (starts up again) ~~~~~ from advancing.... We need a plan... Koga: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! It’s all mine!!!! Joy: Koga again! *Woosh* Koga: I..... hate.... Magmars....... Ms. Ketchum: I hope Ash is ok.... Brock: Don’t worry, he’s gonna be alright. He’s smarter than he seems. ~~~~~ All: He IS!?! Kalei: Brock! The kid SHOT you for crying out loud! ~~~~~ Ms. Ketchum: I know, but all this is different than fighting Team Rocket or anything like that. Joy {Over PA}: Attention Pokécenter patrons, we are currently flying over the abandoned power plant and heading south, the plans for our final destination are still in the works, and... *Thump* Um.. we *Thump* seem to be *Thump* experiencing some turbu.... *THUMP THUMP THUMP!!!!* Oh shit!! ~~~~~ Kalei: I'm glad I can fly. Reef: Abandoned power plant? That sounds like a Zapdos invitation. LKX: Reef, I wouldn't do something that predictable. Reef: I know, but if you remember, I convinced you to use it in the next episode ::grin:: Intercom: HOLD EVERYTHING! Okay guys, how many people here have read/seen/written this thing before? (everyone but Duckman raises their hand) Intercom: Figures... okay, after this, one no-one who's an AGNPH reg will riff an episode of this series again! All: ... LKX: Uh... what just happened? Reef: I think we've been spared! Kalei: Wrong, we've been demoted to secondary characters. All (sans Duckman): D'oh! ~~~~~ ----- Team Rocket Base 12:30 AM [Meeting Room] Oak: So Gary is..... ~~~~~ Kalei: (Ash) Your grandson. Duckman: (Oak) Riiiiight... Damn senelity! ~~~~~ Ash: Yea, we ran into him twice, once in Viridian and again in Cerulean. Oak: I’ll kill those bastards! Giovanni: In good time. We need to... Oak: Need to, nothing! Take me up there! Giovanni: For one, we need to wait until the base can get up; second, we aren’t attacking the base yet, that would be stupid. Oak: Stupid? STUPID!? I’m going up there and I’ll kill you if I need to do so to get this base up there. *Zing* ~~~~~ Duckman: Huh? Reef: I think the vein in Oak's forehead just popped. ~~~~~ Oak: Wha....wh..o? ....zzzzzzzzzzz Ash: Huh? Giovanni: That tranquilizer should give him time to cool down. Ash: I hope the others are ok. ~~~~~ Reef: Is it normal to suddenly want Ash dead? LKX: Yes. Reef: Good. ~~~~~ [Power Room] Leon: There! That looks like *Bang* the main console, I’ll get *Bang* to it while you keep the *Zzzzzzttttttt, crackle* zombies away. ~~~~~ (everyone cringes) Duckman: Huh? None of those three bitches up there are coming on the intercom. LKX: I think we've been spared. Reef: Or just overlooked Kalei: Figures. ~~~~~ Butch (Holding a Magnum): You got it! Just hurry. Cassidy (Holding a long-range tazer that shoots electric bolts): Damn, I didn’t know there were this many Rocket members, they just keep coming and coming..... **BEEP** ~~~~~ Bleep: ____! LKX: Shit, I almost forgot about this fucking purple thing... Kalei: I still say it's cute. Reef: What does it matter? It's snowing in here, we've each done about a hundred pushups, we've been demoted to secondary characters, and have probably riffed our last lem--- Why do I suddenly get the feeling that things might be looking up? Duckman: You're right! How could things possibly get wor--- Bleep: ____! (it suddenly multiplies into several thousand more bleeps, they all start hopping everywhere) Reef: (clobbers Duckman) You had to say it, you just HAD to say it!!! ~~~~~ Leon: What’s this? Error? Damnit! There’s too much weight in the building to get it up. Cassidy: Damnit! How can that be? Butch: Must be the Cerberus. [Storage] XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Monster Info: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Name: Cerberus Type: Umbrella’s Biological Weapon (Dodrio) Height: 25 Feet Weight: 6.5 Tons A biologically altered Dodrio made by umbrella as a bio-weapon for use by their Air-base. It’s purpose is either to attack large groups, or weigh down other air buildings. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX ~~~~~ LKX: Large groups? Hey, you think if we got my lovely creation in here somehow, it might be able to get rid of all these Bleeps? Reef: Not a chance, the buggers are invincible, remember? Siccing that Bleep on you might not have been the smartest thing I've ever done... Kalei: Yeah, tell us about it. Reef: Speaking of which... LKX, it's back on your shoulder... LKX: ARRRRRRRGH!!! ~~~~~ Jill: What the hell is that!? James: That’s cerberus, I’ll be going now. Bye. Jill: Oh shit..... Well it seems to already be sleeping, so it’ll be easy to use these knockout grenades. ~~~~~ Kalei: Why even use the grenades if it's already asleep? LKX: ... ~~~~~ *Thoop* *Swish* *Clank* *Poof* Jill (Putting on Gasmask): Alright, now all I have to do is... Cerberus: ARAWK! AWK! AWKK! Jill: Oh, shit! Giovanni (PA): Jill, be careful; that idiot James screwed up the calculation, it’ll take about 15 minutes to knock that thing out with the Knockout gas. Keep it busy until then. ~~~~~ Duckman: This is making very little sence, even for me. LKX, what were you on when you wrote this? LKX: (is too busy tearing his hair out over the Bleep on his shoulder, not to mention the thousand or two hopping around the staging area, to respond) ~~~~~ Jill: Oh, classic. Looks like I’m stuck with this thing for awhile. Well, it’s sitting and it’s up to the roof so it can’t get up and chase me, so if I stay on this end of the room, it can’t reach me. *Cerberus blasts fire from two of its heads* Jill: Shit! [Meeting Room] 12:45 AM Leon: Giovanni, we’re ready to get moving, but we need to loose some weight. How do you plan to get rid of the monster? ~~~~~ LKX: (Giovanni) I'm going to read it poetry, it'll run fleeing in terror! ~~~~~ Giovanni: I have an Alakazam that can teleport it to their ship. Leon: A wha...? Giovanni: Oh, that’s right. You aren’t familiar with pokémon, just like Umbrella wasn’t when they came. Well, simply it is a pet of mine that has amazing psychic powers. ~~~~~ Duckman: (Leon) Uhhhhh... LKX: (Giovanni) Yep, nothing that special at all. Duckman: (Leon) Riiiiiiiight... ~~~~~ Leon: Oh.... Well, you said that their base was advanced. Will the monster weigh it down like this one? Giovanni: No. They carry many beasts like the Cerberus on that ship. My plan is to distract them by warping it into the control room, giving them a shock (and hopefully a few casualties) and us a chance to escape. Now here *Hands Leon a pokéball*, take this to Jill, the Alakazam is inside. Leon: Alright.... But why are we knocking it out first? Giovanni: That thing spits fire, I don’t want Alakazam to get fried before he warps it. ~~~~~ Kalei: Wait a sec... how will that thing cause casualties if it's warped to the bridge of their ship when it's knocked out? LKX: It's big, it's heavy, it'll squish 'em. Reef: Not exactly a pleasant mental image... ~~~~~ [Storage] Jill: Man, this thing looks intimidating, but I’ve seen worse. It’s too slow for me! Leon: Jill. Jill: Leon, what are you doing here? ~~~~~ Duckman: (Leon) I'm here to get a BJ, on your knees, bitch! ~~~~~ Leon: Giovanni told me to give you this ball *Leon holds it out, and Alakazam pops out*. Alakazam: Alakazam! Giovanni (PA): Alakazam! Teleport that monster to the building hovering over us. Alakazam: Ala! ~Zzzzzt~ --Umbrella base [Military Strategy Room] Officer: Alright, everyone get ready to assault the Rocket base. After this attack, Umbrella will run this area. Soldier: Sir, what kind of counter offense should we prepare for? Officer: We only think there are a few people left in the building, but we aren’t taking any chances. ~~~~~ Reef: Oh, good God, it's only Team Rocket! DON'T THESE PEOPLE WATCH THE SHOW!?! ~~~~~ A startled Lab Tech comes running in. Lab Tech: Sir! We have a problem! It’s an emergency! ~~~~~ Reef: Eh... hmmmm... there's that too... ~~~~~ -- Rocket Base Leon: Alright, it looks like they’re starting to back off. Giovanni: Butch, get us out of here, NOW! Butch: You got it boss! -- Cinnabar Pokécenter (Abandoned) 1:15 AM Claire: Do you think that he’ll find us in here? Misty: I hope not. Claire: We can’t hide here forever.... Misty: I know, but swimming is out of the question, there could be more mutants out in the water. Claire: So this is how it ends........ Wartortle: SuRe Is! ~~~~~ Kalei: What's with the funky typing? LKX: I was trying to do one of those "Here's Johnny!" things. Reef: LKX, do you even know what movie that's from? Duckman: The Shining! Kalei: Huh? Reef: Oh jeeze... Duckman, you'd better not be getting smart again. Duckman: Trust me, I'm not, I just really like that movie... chicks go crazy over it in drive thrus and I always get laid! (goofy grin) Kalei: Oy... ~~~~~ Misty: Oh Shit! Claire: Run!!!! Claire and Misty run out into the street and are blinded by a searchlight. Chris (Megaphone): Claire! Hurry! Get into the helicopter, I’ll drop a ladder! Claire: It’s my brother! Come on Misty. Wartortle: You aren’t going anywhere! You are mine! ~~~~~ Reef: (Wartortle) Gotta catch 'em all! ~~~~~ [Helicopter] Ash: Chris, I think I see some more people down there with Claire.... that’s Misty! And what the hell is that!? ~~~~~ Kalei: DON'T YOU EVEN RECOGNISE YOUR OWN POKEMON!?! Reef: Honey, under the circumstances, I don't blame him... ~~~~ Chris: I don’t know, but I do know it isn’t good. Throw down that Rocket Launcher. [Cinnabar Island] Claire: Misty, go, I’ll keep him busy. Misty: I can’t leave you here! *Clank!* Misty: Huh? What was that? Claire: Wow, looks like Chris was ready. I’m gonna blast it. ~~~~~ Reef: Okay, that line is simply overly bad, LKX, was it late at night when you wrote this? LKX: Probably, I can't remember. ~~~~~ Wartortle: Heh, that won’t touch me! Claire: Damnit! He’s too fast! ~~~~~ Kalei: (Claire) I can't STAND premature ejaculation! ~~~~~ I can’t get in a good shot. Is there any way you can slow him down. Wartortle: Yeah bitch, try an’ slow me down! I’ll come and eat ya! Misty: That won’t be a problem..... Misty pulls one of her mallets out of nowhere and whacks Wartortle unconscious, then Claire sends a rocket right into Wartortle, when the smoke clears there is nothing there. ~~~~~ Duckman: Why the heck didn't she just do that in the first place? Kalei: She can't stand being called a "bitch," and usually smashes the people who say it. Duckman: Whatever... ~~~~~ Misty: Come on, into the helicopter before something else comes out of the woodwork. --Rocket Base 3:00 AM Chris: Claire, I’m so glad you’re ok! Claire: You know how lucky we were that you came when you did? Misty: Yeah, and thanks for the Rocket Launcher, it was a life saver! Ash: Misty, what were you doing there anyway? Misty: Oh! Some asshole kidnapped me! ~~~~~ Reef: (Ash) Damnit! That guy I paid off must have failed! ~~~~~ Ash: You wanna go back to Cerulean? Misty: Nope, I want to come with you. Someone told me that Umbrella may be able to bring my sisters back. Giovanni: Bring back the dead? That’d be a stretch for even Umbrella. I doubt that was correct information. Misty: Well, as long as I have that chance.... James: Boss, we just got a distress call from the Pewter Pokémon center. ~~~~~ Kalei: Why the hell would the Pokecenter call Team Rocket for help...? LKX: Oh yeah, like I'M supposed to know!?! All: ... ~~~~~ Ash: Brock and my mom are there! Giovanni: Make a course for Pewter city. James: No, they were flying over the abandoned power plant. They are near there. ~~~~~ Duckman: (James) Duh! ~~~~~ Giovanni: Well, let’s go! --Cinnabar Island 6:00 AM As the sun rises over the torn city, one figure is seen crawling from the water. The horridly mutated Wartortle now has a rocket lodged into its chest, and the rocket has been assimilated as part of his body. Wartortle: I’ll.... get.... them..... kill..... kill..... kill..... kill..... kill..... kill..... kill..................... ~~~~~ (The elevator doors open) Efluie: Okay, that's it for this one! Everyone out of the staging are--- (she sees the thousands of Bleeps hopping around) What the fucking hell? Ixies: Oh my GOD! BLEEPS! Ryoko: Quick! Back in the elevator! Reef: Hey! Wait for us! (everyone crams into the elevator, only one Bleep makes it in, the one that's taken a liking to LKX) LKX: Goddamnit! (Later, all the captives are in the main room, and the Intercom comes on) (Intercom) Okay, the staging area is now officially off limits! From now on, we'll MST the next episode in another random part of the SUL. Vegeta: Hmmph, not like I care... (sob) goddamned fucking fruit... TOM: So, how did it go? Reef: Not bad, really... but it looks like us AGNPHers won't be riffing anymore. It'll be just you, Duckman, Cornfed, and Vegeta. Cornfed: Oh, lovely... Kalei: So, where does that leave us? Reef: From now on, we'll be trying to find a way back to earth! And we'll probably die a horrible death trying! LKX: Oh... joy... Bleep ____! Fin! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ IN THE NEXT MST: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Will TOM, Vegeta, Duckman, and Cornfed drive each other crazy!?! Will the AGNPHers try to find their way back to earth!?! Will the thousands of Bleeps find their way into the SUL's T-Virus storage compartment!?! Will Ryo-Ohki even get mentioned!?! FIND OUT THE ANSWERS NEXT TIME IN REEF'S FIFTH MST OF LUNAR KNIGHT X'S POKEBALL: EVIL SERIES, SPECFICALLY EPISODE FIVE, A NEW FACE AND A NEW PLACE!!!!