I really wish Sakura would do another update...the only other lemons I have are either really short or really long. Or really stupid, I can't remember... Maybe fanfiction.net has some good stuff... ------------------------------------------------------------ My Quick Disclaimer: These lemons were all written by Neo Cactuar, done without permission, yada yada. Do you get the feeling I don't give a shit if I'm sued? Mystery Science Theater is owned by Best Brains. Minako, Sailor Venus, Zoicite, and Sailor Moon are owned by Toei Animation. The respective characters and copyrights belong to them. Felicia and Darkstalkers are owned by Capcom, copyrights, same deal. Megabyte and Reboot are owned by ATFL, Mainframe Entertainment Inc., BLT Productions Ltd. and Alliance pictures. I'm not really sure about all that, but those are the company names in the end credits of Reboot. Tenchi Masaki and Tenchi Muyo!, Tenchi Universe, and the rest of the Tenchi franchise are owned by Pioneer. Much thanks to Greg Hawkins for the copyright info. Ayla and her respective character are owned by Squaresoft, my personal heros for creating a goddess like her! The Poetry Man is owned by me and my companies, Eternal Dark Corp., Mark IV Inc., and Ink Blot Inc. Why do I have so many companies? I can't decide which one to keep. Eh, screw learning better disclaimers...nobody cares about this stuff anyway. MST vers. 1.000000007: Furs, Scales, and Princesses Prologue In the year of our Spooge, 2345, the virus known as Megabyte escaped from the Web into the real world and took over a space station in an attempt to conquer the Earth. Finding the work of the Forrester family, he has followed their attempts to drive a population insane by exposing them to bad lemons. Using the method he discovered to get to the real world, he extracted random test subjects from old anime series and placed them inside the space station in an attempt to drive them, and the rest of the world, insane. Among these subjects are Minako, also known as Sailor Venus. The original (male) Zoicite, though he has the breasts of his female counterpart. The catgirl Felicia, from Darkstalkers, and the Juraian descendent, Tenchi Masaki. The strangest additions are The Poetry Man, still in my employ, and Ayla, chief of the Ioka village, both found in the basement of the SOL in the hall of doors. After Megabyte subjected Tenchi to the three shittiest lemons in the universe one after another, Ayla busted up the theater beyond recognition, along with the one viewscreen on the ship. Now there is no possibility of outside communication, but also no chance of Megabyte sending another lemon. So what is the stalwart crew gonna do now? Damned if I know. Let's watch, shall we? *** The Scene: The living room Everyone's just sitting around, waiting for something to happen. Mina is taking a nap on the couch, the Poetry Man and Zoicite are building the world's tallest bologna sandwich, Tenchi is trying to get his sword to stand up on end, and Felicia is batting at her tail. Ayla's nowhere to be seen. Felicia: *swats her tail* I'm bored... Tenchi: Yeah, yeah, we all are. Zoicite: *sighs* When you consider the alternatives, at least our lives were more entertaining with the lemons. Mina: ZzzZZzzzzzZZZZzzz..... Poetry Man: You said it, sister. (to Zoicite) Hey, we need more bologna. Zoicite: I'll get some... *leaves* Tenchi: Ho-hum... Mina: ZzzzZZzz... Felicia: *sniff* Hm... *sniff, sniff* What's that smell? Tenchi: What smell? Felicia: *sniff, sniff* That smell...what *is* that? (Fel begins sniffing around, following the scent up to...) Felicia: Aha! Poetry Man: What? Felicia: You reek of bologna! Poetry Man: Aw, fuck you... You try building a bologna skyscraper and come away smelling like a fucking rose. Tenchi: Damn, now I can smell it... Felicia: Take a shower already! Poetry Man: Alright, alright, you don't have to get nasty. Unless you want to take a shower *with* me...? Felicia: Don't try me, buster. I can rip your face off in half a second. Poetry Man: I'd be aroused if I didn't know you were serious... *leaves* Felicia: Pervert... *Zoicite returns, with a four-foot stack of bologna* Zoicite: Hey, where'd Edgar Allen Weirdass go? Felicia: Shower. You should take one too. Zoicite: No thanks, he's straight. Felicia: o_o;; *whrrr* Felicia: What's that?? (Suddenly a hole opens up in the ceiling and a 19" TV screen attached to a pole lowers into the room.) Felicia: What... Zoicite: ...the... Tenchi: ...hell?? Mina: ZZzzzzZZzz.... (at first, static flashes on the screen, then a face appears...) Zoicite: I don't believe it... Tenchi: It's... Felicia: ...you??? Shadow: Yeah, how're you guys doing? Zoicite: We need more bologna. Shadow: Uh...I'll look into it. Felicia: Wait a sec, how did you get a transmission in here? Shadow: Ayla blew up the main viewscreen, but not the entire communications array. I just hacked into a secondary system and accessed this little 19" POS. Tenchi: Can Megabyte access it? Shadow: Eh, beats me. I doubt he'll think of it. Doesn't matter, though. He'll find a way to repair the theater and the viewscreen eventually. Felicia: Then what the hell are we supposed to do? Shadow: *shrugs* Do whatever you want. Enjoy your time off. *distant scream* Shadow: Like whatever that guy's doing. (suddenly...) Announcer: It's the Poetry Man! Poetry Man: You... *huff, huff* Aw, forget it... Zoicite: What happened? Peotry Man: Someone *huff* was using *puff* the shower... Felicia: What? Then why'd you scream? Shadow: Wait a sec... Zoicite: Hold on, who's not here? Shadow: You didn't... Poetry Man: Hey, I didn't see much, boss, okay? Don't get upset... Shadow: Okay, I've put together a digital composite of what she looks like naked, now you tell me where I'm wrong! Poetry Man: O_o;; (suddenly Ayla enters, sans clothing of any sort) Poetry Man: Ga-aah... Tenchi: *nosebleed* Felicia: Whoo-boy... Ayla: Why you run? You see spider? Poetry Man: Uh... Zoicite: I have a feeling I'd find this arousing if I were straight. *thump* Felicia: What was that? Tenchi: Hm? *peers into the TV* I think Shadow fainted. Felicia: *looks in the TV* Wow, that's the biggest smile I've ever seen. It's almost inhuman... Ayla: Why everyone staring? Zoicite: (to Felicia) You wanna tell her? Felicia: No thanks. I already had that talk with my parents. Zoicite: What, the talk about how not to go around naked all the time? Felicia: Yes. Zoicite: *deadpan* Felicia: You try walking around with an outfit on top of all this fur! Zoicite: Fine, I'll get her dressed. At least then she won't kill our would-be video savior. *Zoicite leaves, and takes Ayla with him* Poetry Man: Aw, why'd he have to take her away? Felicia: *rolls her eyes* This from the guy who screamed just a minute ago. Poetry Man: Hey, she got out and grabbed her club! I thought she was gonna kick my ass! Tenchi: You ever think she just might be done showering? Poetry Man: Er......fuck you! Felicia: Hold on...did anyone ever tell Ayla how to use the shower? Tenchi: Uh...I didn't. Poetry Man: Uh-oh...I knew the bathroom floor was a little wet. *everyone rushes to the bathroom, grabbing paper towels on the way* *silence* *more silence* *it's a fucking tomb in here* Mina: ZZzzzZzz....mmm... *gets up* Hey, where is everyone? And what the hell is that TV doing in the middle of the room? Shadow: *groans* Ohhh... man, what a rush... Mina: Heyy! When did you get back? Shadow: Huh? Mina? Wow, the last thing I remember is floating toward this bright light...then I heard someone say "Get the hell outta here, you crazy bastard!" Mina: Uh...right. I'm gonna go make myself a sandwich... Shadow: You're out of bologna. Mina: Damn! What am I gonna do now... Shadow: *shrug* I don't know...read a lemon? Mina: Excuse me?!?! Shadow: Megabyte's gonna be back eventually. I figure you should practice. Mina: Hmm...I guess that might work... Alright, let's do it. Shadow: Okay, I'm sending a lemon through the fax now. Mina: Great. Now where the hell is everyone else?? Oh well, might as well start... *begin* *dog bone* *6, a picture of Tracey in a bonfire with Oompa-Loompas pissing on him* *5, slow-motion replay of the GameCube Metroid FMV* *4, Gatomon and Kari doin' the nasty* *3, Goku and Trunks going SSJ ala Toonami intro* *2, picture of Indianapolis Charmander with an erection* *1, a big wheel of parmesan cheese* Mina: What the hell?? Who activated the doors? Shadow: I did. I'd be lost without 'em. Mina: O-kay... > Fun For Three Mina: But I'm alone... Shadow: The others should be back soon. Mina: What about you? Shadow: Lemons don't bother me, so I wouldn't do a very good job. Mina: Oh... > Breath Of Fire 3 Mina: Oh, I almost beat that yesterday. Shadow: Myria's hot. Mina: You're weird... >By Neo Cactuar(neocactuar@hotmail.com) > >----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mina: Those bread lines in Russia just aren't getting any better. >Disclaimer: This story contains scenes of sexually graphic nature. Mina: Oh my god, call Ripley's, they're never gonna believe this! Shadow: I think I alienated them with my home video of Atlantis. >Do not >read this story if you are not of legal age in your area, or if it is not >allowed in your community. Mina: We're a community? If that's true, can I hire a sheriff? Shadow: What for? Mina: So they can arrest these losers for writing this shit. Shadow: . . . >Do not read this if you are offended by sexual >acts of any nature. Shadow: That confirms it, I'm the worst candidate for this shit. I gotta go anyway. See ya. *leaves* >All characters in this story are property of Capcom. >----------------------------------------------------------------------------- *Zoicite enters* Zoicite: That's one strange cave girl... Mina: Hey, where'd you go? Zoicite: Long story. What's going on? Mina: Just practicing for when Megabyte gets back. Wanna join me? Zoicite: Yeah, sure. We're all out of bologna anyway. > > Rei stopped suddenly, Mina: And left the lemon, the end. >as he heard a faint sound in the brush. Zoicite: He continued painting, unaware there was an Egyptian scarab in the paintbrush. Mina: Suddenly he felt a pinch on his hand, and slowly blacked out... >Perking his >feline ears, the Woren dropped to a crouch and crept slowly toward the bush >the sound had emanated from. Mina & Zoi: O_o Zoicite: Wow, that actually made sense. Mina: This must not be another first try... Zoicite: Finally, something of quality! >Rei silently slipped out one of his long knives >and leapt towards the bush Zoicite: Damn, he must really want some pussy. Mina: Don't start. >in a blur of yellow fur. After rising, Rei saw >that his prize was a large, Zoicite: Vibrator. Mina: (Rei) I told Nina not to leave her toys lying around! >fat rabbit, Mina: (rabbit) I have a glandular problem! >an excellent dinner. Zoicite: And it gives great head, too! > It had been nearly a year since the party Mina: And Rei was still finding people making out in his closet. >had defeated the evil godess Mina: It's too early in the day for typos. >Myria, Rei among them. Mina: I used Ryu, Garr, and Peco. I didn't win, though... Zoicite: Really? Shadow told me Ryu, Rei, and Nina worked great for him. Mina: Shaddup! >After returning from the desert and across the vast >ocean, Mina: This is where Capcom fucked up: no airship, so no quick way to get back. >the heroes had gone their separate ways. Zoicite: Ryu's body was sent to the four corners of England, as a warni- Mina: Been watching Braveheart again? Zoicite: The director's cut on DVD. Mina: Ah. That one has the nude scene with Mel Gibson, doesn't it? Zoicite: Three full minutes of ass-viewing fun. >Momo and Peco had returned >to the plant, Zoicite: Where Peco began a vengeance quest against the Vegetarian Horde. Mina: (Peco) Die, you potato-eatin' freaks!! >Nina to Windia, and Rei and Ryu had gone back to Cedar woods >to rebuild their log cabin, Mina: Only to find it had been turned into the Cedar Woods Casino and Theater Experience! >expanding on the original design and adding many >furnishings Zoicite: Including a gay strip bar and an automatic dildo organizer. Mina: o_o;; Zoicite: Hey, a guy can dream, can't he? Mina: I'd think you'd be dreaming about getting rid of those tits. Zoicite: Grr... >with the vast amount of money they had accumulated during their >travels. Mina: Has this guy ever heard the term 'run-on sentence'? >The group remained in close, contact, however, Mina: And, they, used, many, commas. >and the others were >currently visiting Ryu and Rei. (Tenchi, Felicia, and The Poetry Man return, all soaking wet) Zoicite: You're dripping on the rug. Felicia: Shaddup. Mina: What happened?? Poetry Man: You don't want to know... Felicia: Damn it, it's gonna take me forever to dry out my fur! Tenchi: I gotta go change... Poetry Man: Fuck that, this suit is already ruined. I'll just set a towel down somewhere... Zoicite: In that case, want to join us? Poetry Man: What's going on? Mina: Practicing for when Megabyte gets back. Poetry Man: Sounds good. Felicia: I'll join you after I dry off. Tenchi: Yeah, me too. *Fel and Tenchi leave* Poetry Man: Alright, let's do this shit! > Momo and Peco were out foraging for fruit for dinner, Poetry Man: Better watch out for those tomatos. They're vicious little buggers. >Rei was in charge of >hunting, but Ryu and Nina had remained at the house. Mina: Gee, I wonder why... >For this reason, Rei >thought it strange that the door was locked when he came back. Zoicite: It appears Rei hasn't had "The Talk" with his parents yet. Poetry Man: (Rei's parents) You see, son, when two people haven't gotten laid in a long time... >Rei quickly >and effortlessly picked the simple lock, Mina: Then realized the door was unlocked. >curious as to why Ryu or Nina would >lock the door. All: They're having sex!! Get a clue!!! >Rei had been very lucky Poetry Man: And found a strip bar in the middle of the forest. >in finding such choice game as early >as he did, he was several hours early. Zoicite: That wasn't luck. That rabbit wanted some pussy from Nina. > The front door swung silently inwards Mina: And hit Ryu in the nose. >and Rei silently slipped in, Poetry Man: And hit Ryu in the nose. >thinking >to surprise Ryu and Nina. Zoicite: I'm sure the outpouring of blood from Ryu's nose surprised them. >To his surprise, Mina: Nina hit him in the nose. >the room was darkened, Zoicite: So Rei lit a match and accidentally lit the fuse on an Acme Rocket, then the roadrunner showed up, fucked Ryu, and ran off just as the rocket exploded, killing everyone. Poetry Man: Does anyone else think the roadrunner's female, and Wile E. is just trying to get some pussy? *Zoi and Mina stare at him* Poetry Man: What? What'd I say? Mina: No more cartoons for you, mister. Poetry Man: Aww... >but his >sharp Woren eyes quickly adjusted. Mina: (Rei's eyes) We can adjust and live together with the darkness in a utopian society...a society of love, chastity, and-- Zoicite: (darkness) Chastity?! Who do you think I am, Mother Theresa!? >He heard a slight sound to his right. Poetry Man: And Ryu hit him in the nose. Zoicite: (Rei) Enough with the hitting of the nose already! I'm starting to lose blood in my crotch! >Rei's jaw practically dropped to the floor Mina: Then the law of gravity dispersed, and his jaw flew out into space. >as he saw Ryu and Nina, Poetry Man: Fucking! >completely naked and Poetry Man: Fucking! >on the couch Poetry Man: Making love! Mina: o_o Poetry Man: What? >. The couple was in a 69 position, and >immensely enjoying it. > "What the HELL?!" Rei exclaimed. All: We told you!!! Zoicite: Next time you'll listen to us when we tell you your two best friends are fucking their brains out, right? >Ryu and Nina both sat up immediately, Mina: And kicked Rei in the balls! Zoicite: Finally, I thought we'd never start hitting below the belt! >in shock. Poetry Man: In shock, outta shock, I need a break. I'm gonna go get something to drink. *leaves* *Tenchi enters, this time much less wet* Tenchi: Ahh, much better. Mina: Tenchi! =) Zoicite: Down, girl. Save your energy. Tenchi: So, are you guys still riffing the lemon? Mina: Yep. Wanna help? Tenchi: Sure. I've got a fax coming in from Washu and the gang in a little while, so I may have to leave early. Zoicite: S'aright. Sit down, have fun. > "R-Rei! Y-you weren't due back for hours!" Nina stammered. Ryu lowered his >eyes in embarrasment, Zoicite: (Ryu) I'm sorry. I used up all your Viagra. >trying to conceal his diminishing erection. Zoicite: (Ryu's penis) I'm sorry, too. I used your towel to jack off, then I soiled all your porn mags. >Nina >crossed her arms Mina: (Nina) You owe me an orgasm, Mr. Snoopypants! >over her pert breasts. Both were practically smoldering in >embarrasment. Tenchi: Suddenly a breeze blew through the room and they both burst into flames. > "Don't this just beat all," Rei muttered scratching the back of his head. Zoicite: (Rei) I've fallen into a bad lemon and I can't get up! >He suddenly realized that at the sight of the nude couple, he was becoming >aroused. Rei quickly turned away as his arousal was becoming evident in his >loose pants, Zoicite: Wow, and I always thought tight pants were best for viewing erections. Mina: Another myth has been put to rest. >but not, however, before Nina saw. Nina quickly crept up to the >Woren and clutched his organ through his pants. Rei started in surprise Tenchi: As the intellectual content of the lemon took a nosedive. >as Nina pulled him back onto the couch. > Rei tried to stop Nina Mina: But his arms had been turned into twigs. >as she massaged him through his pants, but >eventually gave up Tenchi: And threw him out on his ass. >as she began pulling off his shirt. Ryu crawled up behind >Nina Zoicite: And pantsed her. >and began massaging her breasts, his manhood Tenchi: Screaming bloody murder. >once again hardening. > Nina finished pulling off Rei's shirt, Mina: And suddenly an alien burst out of his chest! >still massaging his organ, which was >now straining against the fabric of his pants. Zoicite: (Rei's organ) I gotta get out of here...I have a gig with Ralph Lauren in an hour. >Nina hastily slid off Rei's >pants, leaving him exposed, Mina: (Rei) Catman to base, I've been exposed! Zoicite: (Rei) Base, send condoms, repeat, send condoms! >save his underwear. Zoicite: (Rei) Base, save my underwear! It owes me money! >The princess studied the >Woren's muscular, fur-covered body for a moment. Mina: (Nina) I knew it! He has the map to Atlantis tattoed on his chest! Tenchi: (Ryu) Great! Now let's skin him ala Cutthroat Island! >Prompted by Ryu, Zoicite: Nina danced a jig and became celibate. >who was >reaching from behind her and plunging a finger into her Zoicite: Heart. Mina: Knock it off! >dripping cunt, Tenchi: The new fragrance from Calvin Klein. >Nina >plunged her hand into Rei's constricting undergarments. Quickly sliding off >Rei's tight undergarments, the princess emitted an audible gasp as Rei's >huge length sprang into view. His smooth cock was somewhat longer than a >foot, which impressed even Ryu, who had a mere ten inch cock. All: MERE?!?!?! Mina: If that's 'mere', I'm never gonna get a decent fuck in my life! Zoicite: I don't listen to authors. Next thing he's gonna tell us is Nina will be able to take the whole thing in her. So cliché... >Nina eagerly >began rubbing Rei's stiff length, evicting a Tenchi: Group of squatters. Zoicite: (Rei) My god, there's a group of people living in my penis! Mina: (Rei) Don't that just beat all... >soft, cat-like purr from the >Woren, and causing the princess to giggle, then moan as Ryu began licking at >her hard nipples. Zoicite: Rei then licked her stomach, causing her to transform into a brick. Mina: ... Zoicite: I'm so bored...all we get are hetero lemons... > Nina lowered her head and took the tip of Rei's stiff rod into her mouth, >softly running her tounge over the sensitive head. Ryu positioned himself >under the princess and began licking her moist pussy, evicting Tenchi: More squatters. Mina: (Nina) What are we, low-rent housing?! >moans of >pleasure from the Wyndian. *beep beep, beep beep* Tenchi: Oh, that's the fax machine. Everyone always has a lot to say, so I'll probably be busy for a while. Mina: Alright, see ya. Tenchi: Later. *leaves* (suddenly...) Announcer: It's the Poetry Man! Poetry Man: Do you have to fucking do that every single fucking time I enter the fucking room?! Zoicite: What's eating you? Poetry Man: There's no more Sprite...somebody drank it all. All that's left is one can of Diet Shasta Orange. Mina: Eww... Poetry Man: Fuck it, let's lemon! > Nina slid more and more of Rei's long cock Poetry Man: Aw, shit, did I come back right at the sex? Announcer: You bet your ass! Poetry Man: Dammit, shut the fuck up! Announcer: Fuck you, I got a job at CBS! Poetry Man: You'll be back in a week, fuckface! Announcer: I know... *cries* Mina: Could you two possibly say a sentence without the word 'fuck' in it? Poetry Man: Fuck no! Mina: O...kay... >into her mouth massaging it with >her tounge Zoicite: I wish I had a tounge...it sounds like fun. >and causing the Woren to lean back and moan in pleasure. Rei >glanced up in worry as Nina started to gag, Poetry Man: But ignored it as he saw Nina grow a second nose. >his shaft prodding the back of >her throat. However, Nina soon began swallowing Rei's length, Mina: Of course, because princesses are natural deep-throaters. Poetry Man: (King) Nina, it's time for your deep-throat lessons. Zoicite: (Nina) Aww, can't I just learn how to snub people? >bringing him >into new sensations as the muscles of her throat began constricting on his >cock. > As Nina continued to deep-throat Rei, Poetry Man: Ryu went on a quest to find the tightest dragon pussy in the land. >Ryu positioned his cock under her and >slowly slid his penis into her tight cunt, Mina: Ten-inch cock? It won't be tight anymore. >causing the princess to moan with >Rei's cock in her throat. Zoicite: (Nina) Help me! I can't breathe, and somebody's sticking something nasty into my vagina! Poetry Man: (Nina) Who the hell programmed this game?! Mina: (Nina) Somebody hit the reset button, quick! >Rei began to purr as Nina sucked his long, feline >cock more quickly as Ryu began pumping into her. (Felicia enters, her fur a little poofy) Felicia: Somebody say 'long feline cock'? Mina: Wow, you look...dry. Felicia: Shut up. Poetry Man: Have a seat, we're just reached the gratuitous inter-species sex scene. Felicia: Excellent! Show me to the lemon! Zoicite: Have fun...I gotta get something to eat. I'm famished. *leaves* > By now, Poetry Man: We're all bored as hell. >most of Rei's entire fifteen inch length Felicia: O_O I see I came in at the good part... >had been completly >swallowed as Nina continued blowing him, Mina: But suddenly Rei's cock was dipped in Nina's stomach acid and burned away. Poetry Man: Explain to me how that chick can breathe with that thing in her throat. Mina: The author's a moron. Poetry Man: Good answer. >including the knot at the base of >his cock, Mina: That's it, the last semblance of sanity has gone bye-bye! >which was a large bulge, evident in normal felines, Felicia: Uh, no, canines have knots. Felines have spines, and I've never met one with a 15" cock, you jackass of a writer. Poetry Man: Maybe the author is really Doug Winger... >which swelled >to huge proportions at climax Felicia: You want my advice? Shut up before you embarrass yourself further. >to lock him in his mate at orgasm until he >completely softened. Felicia: Too late! You are now a certified idiot. >This, All: Sucks. >and the inch of cock below it, were then only >parts of his cock not enveloped in Nina's mouth. Poetry Man: Amazing how one little typo can do so much damage. > Ryu quicked his pace of pumping into Nina, causing her to suck even harder >on Rei. Suddenly, Ryu stiffened Poetry Man: (Ryu) Back cramp! >and gave a loud moan of ectasy Felicia: (Ryu) The Flipper Show is on! >and he >emptied his sperm into Nina. Mina: (Nina) If you would like to leave your sperm here overnight, there is a $5 storage charge. >This sent Nina over the edge, Poetry Man: And she plunged to a terrible, terrible death. >and she pulled Mina: A fast one. >Rei's cock out of her mouth and throat as she peaked, sending rivluts of >juice down Ryu's gradually softening cock. Poetry Man: (Ryu) Ew, what the fuck's a rivlut?! >Ryu sighed Felicia: (Ryu) Damn it, I just had my cock dry-cleaned! >and laid back, still >embedded in Nina, but Rei was not satisfied. Felicia: (Rei) I must dirty everyone's genitals! > Pulling Nina off of Ryu's now soft cock, Rei positioned the surprised girl >over his still stiff cock. Nina tried to pull away, mumbling that he was too >big, Poetry Man: Yeah, right. She can swallow that thing, but she can't take it in her cunt? >but Rei heedlessly plunged his length into the Wydian. Mina: (Nina) Oww, you stabbed my ovum! >Nina accepted it >easily at first, Felicia: Then ran away screaming. >but began to squirm in discomfort as Rei plunged deeper Poetry Man: (Jacques Cousteau) We shall plunge deeper 'zan ever before! We shall discover new life and new orgasms! >than Ryu ever could. Felicia: I wouldn't make fun of the guy who can transform into a 20-foot dragon. >Ryu grinned as he laid back and watched. Poetry Man: (Ryu) Good thing that's not me. >Nina cried out >for Rei to stop Mina: Aw, not another rape story... >as his knot brushed the lips of her pussy. Felicia: Nope...just another 'women are hollow' POS. >Rei slowed, but >didn't stop, Poetry Man: Then Ryu cast Speed on Rei and he humped Nina to death. >as he pushed the bulge into Nina's wet cunt, Mina: ...I'm guessing Ryu's been fucking Nina for a while now... Felicia: He'd have to fuck her in dragon form to loosen her up that much. (suddenly...) Shadow: *drops in* Whoo-hoo! Dragon sex rules! *leaves* Felicia: O_o Mina: That guy's really weird... Poetry Man: That's just the tip of the iceberg, girls... >causing her to >gasp in pleasure and pain. Poetry Man: (pleasure & pain) Oh, great, that chick with the wings is back again... > Finally, the lips Felicia: The lips that swallowed the cock that shot the sperm that impregnated the woman who gave birth in the house that Jack built. Poetry Man: (Jack) Hey, open up!! I told you guys, no pets, Wyndians, or dragon princes!! >of Nina's pussy pressed against Rei's hips, the Woren's >fur-covered balls pressed against her tight ass. Rei let Nina get used to >the feeling of his long cock, Mina: (Nina) Somehow I can't get used to the poking feeling on my uterus... >then began slowly pumping into her, gradually >quickening his pace as Nina became more aroused. Mina: Tenchi's been gone for a while...I'm gonna go look for him. *leaves* (Zoicite enters, carrying the bologna skyscraper) Zoicite: Alright, I'm set! Hey, where's Mina? Felicia: Went to look for Tenchi. Zoicite: Whatever. Let's finish this thing. > Rei closed his eyes in pleasure as Nina slid up and down his cock at an >increasing rate, and was startled when he felt his balls Zoicite: (Rei) Oh my god, I have balls?! >engulfed into a >warm mouth. Looking down, the Woren saw Ryu softly sucking on his furry >nutsack, (Zoi does a double-take and drops the bologna skyscraper on the Poetry Man) Poetry Man: Eww... Zoicite: How can you say that?! We finally have yaoi stuff here! Poetry Man: No, I have bologna in my ass crack... Zoicite: Eww... >the dragon prince's own organ once again stiff. Zoicite: Oh, I missed an orgasm? Damn! Poetry Man: Don't worry, there's probably plenty more on the way. Felicia: None for us, though... >This sent a shiver Felicia: To the moon. Poetry Man: (Ralph) One of these days, to the moon, Alice, to the moon! (five Nick-at-Nite points if you recognize that phrase.) >of pleasure through Rei, causing him to speed up Poetry Man: (Rei) My penis can go from 0-60 in under ten seconds. >the pace at which he was >pumping into Nina. > This sent Nina over the edge, Zoicite: And she died yet another tragic death. Poetry Man: (Jesus) This resurrection stuff is a bitch, ain't it? (If I'm not going to hell, then I'm gonna have a lot of explaining to do when I get up top.) >and, with a loud moan of pleasure, Felicia: She finally completed the ship-in-the-bottle! >her juices Poetry Man: Nina's Pussy Juice: Not just for kids anymore! >spurted out and dripped down Rei's cock. The sudden constriction of the >muscles in Nina's cunt sent Rei also over the edge Zoicite: Fortunately, he landed on Nina and escaped with only life-threatening injuries. >and he violently slammed >into Nina up to the hilt as he spurted his semen into the princess. Felicia: (Nina) If I get knocked up, I'll kill you in your sleep. >Nina >cried out in pain Poetry Man: (Nina) Ow, ow, ow! I told you, I have a violent allergic reaction to sperm! >as Rei's knot suddenly swelled up inside of her, Felicia: (Neo) There is no knot. >the size >of a baseball. Ryu stopped sucking on Rei's balls Zoicite: Aww... >and positioned the tip of >his cock on Nina's asshole. Rei, who was locked inside Zoicite: The closet. Poetry Man: Don't start with the double puns. >of Nina, watched as >Ryu Felicia: Exploded. >slowly slid his length up Nina's tight ass, evicting Zoicite: Another group of squatters. Felicia: (squatter) Damn it, and I just spackled this place! >a cry of pain and >pleasure from the princess. > Ryu pumped faster into Nina's ass as it loosned up, Poetry Man: One typo just fucks up the whole thing, don't it? >his balls rubbing >against Rei's. Rei's erection began to diminish, and Nina was eventually >able, with some pain, to pull off of the Woren's dick and settle into a more >comfortable position as Ryu Felicia: Ran away to Tokyo. >screwed her in the ass. Felicia: Close enough. > Soon Nina was horny once again, Poetry Man: But the cock in her ass was hurting the mood just a bit. >but unfortunately Rei hadn't had enough >time to gain another erection. Zoicite: (Rei) I'm not a machine, damn it!! >Instead, the Woren slid his long tail into >Nina's slippery cunt, evicting Zoicite: There's no one left, damn it! You got them all! >a loud moan from her. > Ryu sped up his pace even more and clutched Nina in a tight embrace as he >uncontrollably spasmed, Zoicite: (Ryu) Ass cramp, ass cramp! >orgasming into her ass. In a few minutes, Rei's >ministrations with his tail paid off Poetry Man: And he hit the jackpot! >and Nina moaned loudly as she came. Zoicite: If that's the jackpot, then I want the consolation prize. >The >three all laid back, exhausted. > Nina dozed off, fatigued by her multiple orgasms. Felicia: I don't know why, but that last sentence just pisses me off. >Rei, however, Zoicite: Left for Tahiti. >was >beggining Poetry Man: I don't have any more patience for typos. >to get horny again, having ejaculated only once. Zoicite: Aww, poor baby... >Rei crept over ti Felicia: (contestant) Pat, I'd like to buy a vowel. Zoicite: (Pat) Alright, you can have an I. Felicia: (contestant) But I wanted an O... Zoicite: (Pat) You're getting an I, goddamn it!! >Ryu and shoved his erect, Poetry Man: Salami. >feline penis Felicia: (Italian chef) That'sa spicy meata'ball! >into the young prince's mouth. Zoicite: (Ryu) Excuse me, I asked for a mochaccino! What the hell is this?! >Ryu >gagged in surprise as Rei Poetry Man: Became the Lord of the Dance! >forced his cock slowly down the boy's throat. >Soon, Zoicite: Ryu choked to death, and Rei ran away with Nina. The end. >Ryu began willingly sucking and licking on the Rei long cock, Zoicite: I didn't understand that, but I'm still aroused. >causing >the Woren to squirm and growl in pleasure. Poetry Man: Alright, Mina's been gone way too long for my tastes. Zoicite: She's probably fucking around with Tenchi. Poetry Man: If that's true, then I won't have a chance with her! Felicia: You didn't have a chance with her the second you left the basement. Poetry Man: Fuck you. I'm gonna go look for her. *leaves* (suddenly...) Tenchi: Hey guys. Where's Mina? All: O_o Felicia: Uh...she went to look for you... Tenchi: Oh, I must've missed her. I'll go see if I can find her. *leaves* *Artemis enters* Artemis: Okay, who ate all the trout?! Felicia: Take a wild guess. Artemis: Damn it! That cavegirl is gonna starve us all to death! Felicia: Oh, sit down and stop your bitching. Artemis: All right, all right... > Ryu rubbed Rei's chest and took more of the Woren into his mouth, up to the >feline's knot. Zoicite: As much as I'd like to believe there's a guy out there who's a natural deep-throater, I know it's just creative license. Artemis: I'm not sure I should be reading this... >Ryu eagerly licked around Rei's long shaft, bringing the >Woren near orgasm. Artemis: I have a feeling I missed something... Felicia: Nah, just the plot and the foreplay. Artemis: Oh, good, then it wasn't anything important. >Rei abruptly pulled out of Ryu's mouth and sat back. Ryu >began to get the idea and turned over, standing on his hands and knees. Zoicite: WOOO!!! ALRIGHT!!! Felicia: Can I assume you'll be saving the second half of this lemon? Zoicite: Of course! >Rei >stood on his knees and placed the tip of his wet, glistening cock at the >entrance of Ryu's virgin hole. Zoicite: Mmmmm.... Artemis: I see one hand down your pants, I'm leaving. Zoicite: Alright, alright... >Ryu bit his lip as Rei carefully and slowly Felicia: Removed his appendix. Artemis: (Rei) Oops, I nicked something. Wow, there was a lot of blood in that thing. >pushed the head of his cock into the prince's ass. Rei caressed Ryu's hard >cock from behind, taking his mind off the pain of his penetration. Artemis: (Ryu) I'm having a fucking phone pole shoved up my ass, and you think this is helping?! >Rei >continued slowly pushing inch after inch of his long, thick Woren cock into >Ryu, until the prince thought he was so full he would explode. Artemis: And then, he did. >Finally, the >knot of Rei's cock Artemis: Wait, this guy's a feline? Felicia: Yep. Artemis: Then why does he have a knot? Felicia: Author stupidity. Artemis: Ahhhh..... >came to push against Ryu's ass. Fighting the primal urge >to Felicia: Dance the macarena. >thrust all the way into his friend, Rei let Ryu settle and get used to >the subsiding pain. Ryu nodded, Artemis: (Ryu) Yep, this still hurts like hell. >and Rei pushed the bulge at the base of his >dick quickly into Ryu, causing the prince to twinge in pain. Artemis: (Ryu) Wait a minute, I'm a prince! Where's my royal lube?! >Rei slowly slid >the last inch of his cock into Ryu, until the couple's balls we pressed >against eachother. Zoicite: ...I, uh...gotta go to the bathroom... Artemis: Oh, no, you don't! I don't need that mental image haunting me! > Rei started to jerk Ryu off as he slowly Felicia: Tried to replace a vital organ. Artemis: (Rei) Hey, this thing looks just like an appendix, doesn't it? >pulled his cock halfway out of the >prince's ass. Artemis: (Ryu) Still waiting on the royal lube here... >Rei then thrust forward, burying his cock up the the Zoicite: Double word score is 20, and the bad writing penalty is minus 500. >hilt in >Ryu's ass. Ryu moaned as the pain gradually turned into Artemis: A feeling of intense nausea. >pleasure as Rei >began slowly pumping his hot shaft in and out of Ryu's ass. Zoicite: Errrghh.... Felicia: What's with you? Zoicite: Have you ever had an erection that just wouldn't go away? Felicia: Uhh....no.... > Rei growled softly and quickened his pace. Pleasure shook the Woren's body >with every thrust into Ryu. Rei practically roared in ecstacy as he >climaxed with one final, sharp thrust into Ryu. Rei spurted several streams >of semen into Ryu, and Ryu gasped in pain as Rei's knot suddenly grew inside >of him, locking the Woren into the prince. > Ryu winced in pain as the couple shifted to a more comfortable position, >Rei muttering an apology, Artemis: (Rei) I'm sorry I raped your colon. >but was still imbedded Felicia: (contestant) Pat, can I get an E? Zoicite: (Pat) Fuck you, you're getting an I! Artemis: o_O Felicia: I know it's spelled right, but it's a little out of context. Artemis: Wow, you're strict. Felicia: Damn straight. Now lick my paws, slave! Artemis: O_O Felicia: Uh...sorry...got caught up in the moment... >in Ryu. Soon, Rei's dick Artemis: Became the minister of China. >softened enough for Ryu to pull off of it, a stand of semen Felicia: (semem) We're taking a stand, and there's nothing you can do about it! Artemis: (Rei) Oh yeah?! *holds up something* Felicia: (semen) Oh my god, it's a condom! Run for your life! >still clinging >between his ass and Rei's cock. Zoicite: (semen) Geez, I just *had* to get stuck here... > Now changing positions, Artemis: Rei stood on his hands and Ryu hung from the ceiling by his thumbnails. Felicia: Kinky. >Ryu laid on his back, his stiff member sticking up >in the air. Rei stood squatted over the prince Felicia: I hear one scat joke, there's gonna be bloodletting here. Artemis: I didn't say shit. Felicia: ...not funny. >and slowly lowered himself >onto Ryu's length. The Woren winced in pain as the head of Ryu's dick >penetrated his virgin ass. Zoicite: (Ryu) If I can take that baseball bat of a cock, you can take this! >Encouraged by Ryu, Artemis: Rei became Cockboy, a massively-hung catman on the front lines of the war against crime! Felicia: O_o Zoicite: o_O Artemis: O_O ...I'm sorry, I don't know where that came from... >Rei continued to lower Artemis: His standards. >onto >Ryu, swallowing inches of the dragon prince's cock into his tight asshole. >Finally, Ryu was completely inside of Rei. Felicia: Ew...that was a weird mental image... >Rei lifted himself about halfway >of the young man's cock, then lowered himself back down. He repeated this, Zoicite: And was kicked for flooding the channel. (just something for #agnph) >quickening his pace with every time. Artemis: Did that make sense to anyone else? Fel & Zoi: No. Artemis: Good... >Ryu moaned and rubbed Rei's ass >encouragingly. Rei increased his pace and Ryu began bucking his hips Felicia: Suddenly Rei was thrown off Ryu and out the window. >in ecstacy. Ryu moaned loudly and slammed his groin harder and harder into Rei, >shoving every inch of his rock hard in Artemis: Okay, now I'm just confused. Zoicite: You're not the only one... >and out of the youthful Woren. Felicia: It was then Ryu discovered Rei was 85! Zoicite: Hey, quit stomping all over my dreams! We need more well-endowed animals around here. Artemis: I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that... >Finally, Artemis: The lemon ended. >Ryu climaxed with a loud yell, Felicia: Eh, close enough. >shooting great blasts of sperm into >Rei. Rei was amazed at the amount of semen being pumped into him. Artemis: (Rei) Wow, a whole tenth of a liter! I'm really being flooded now! >When Ryu >was finally spent, he sighed and laid back in contentment. Rei pulled off of >the prince's slippery, stiffening cock Felicia: So he just came, and he's getting harder. Riiiiight.... Zoicite: My dream guy, and it's all the work of an unimaginative idiot. >and was amazed when a small stream of >cum gushed out of his sore ass. > Rei also laid back with Ryu, wrapping his tail around the other's leg and >dozing off to sleep. Felicia: Aww, ain't that cute? Zoicite: Slightly erotic, if you ask me. > After an hour or so, Nina awoke. To her astonishment, Artemis: She was now a chicken. >she found Ryu and Rei Artemis: Then she went out to find the other four pricks who hid all over the world. Felicia: Huh?? Artemis: Mina's been complaining in her sleep again. >curled up togather. Zoicite: To gather? Felicia: Dust. Zoicite: Ahh. >The mere sight of the two guys naked, muscular bodies >began to excite her sexually. Zoicite: You and me both, sister. >Crawling over to the two, she took Rei's limp >cock Artemis: To Mexico. >in her mouth, Artemis: Close enough. >and Ryu's Felicia: To France. >in her hand. Felicia: No comment. >Soon Ryu and Rei were awake, and >both sat up. Artemis: (Ryu) Are we being fucked again? Zoicite: (Rei) Looks like. Artemis: (Ryu) Damn, I guess I'll have to breed that dragon later. >Both were hard by now, and Nina stopped sucking Rei and jerking >Ryu. All: TEASE!! >The two boys sat opposite eachother, there ballsacks Felicia: There ballsacs, here tits. >pressing against >one another. Nina crouched over the two and lowered down onto thier cocks. Artemis: I somehow expected him to spell it like that. >The princess positioned herself Zoicite: On the roof. Leave the men alone! >so that Rei's long cock penetrated into her >pussy, while Ryu's throbbing meat Artemis: (pork chop) I have this throbbing in my head... Felicia: (butcher) Have you tried ass-fucking a Wyndian? >entered her ass. Artemis: (pork chop) Wow, it's nice and roomy in here! >She lowered herself >effortlessy down them both all the way, even Rei's knot. Artemis: Take it from a real cat, there is no fucking knot!!! Get a dog, you ignorant bastard! >She moaned and >wiggled around a bit, Felicia: (Nina) I think one of you gave me worms. >savoring the feel of the two cocks inside of her. Ryu >and Rei could both feel eachothers Zoicite: That's like, the third time I've seen that typo. Felicia: We should call the Guinness people. >cocks through the thin wall of flesh >seperating Nina's vagina and anus. Artemis: Based on what I've heard, that little wall will break, and Ryu will transform into a dragon and fuck her. Zoicite: Somehow I can't get excited about that... >Nina moaned louder and rocked back and >forth on the two boys' cocks. > Nina lifted herself up until the only tip of Ryu's considerably shorter >cock was still in her, Zoicite: How many times do we need to say this? Ten inches is not short! Artemis: Yeah, two inches is short! Felicia: 0_o Artemis: Whatdya want, I'm a housecat! >but Rei's longer dick still deeply imbedded. The >princess lowered herself down, then pulled back up repeatedly, much as Rei >had done to Ryu. Artemis: And, like Rei, she was banned from the channel and beaten to death with sticks. >She increased her pace until both boys were moaning in >pleasure. Rei moved his tail and inserted it into Ryu, Felicia: Limber, ain't he? >surprising the >prince, who was now loose enough to accept the appendage. Felicia: A tail is an appendage? Artemis: Wow, and I thought it was just a nice accessory. Felicia: I need to read the dictionary more often... >Rei slipped his >tail all the way inside Ryu, increasing the prince's pleasure. Rei also sat >slowly up, taking care to keep imbedded in Nina, who was still pistonong Zoicite: Hehehe...'pistonong'... Artemis: One man's typo is another's cheap, hurtful laugh. Zoicite: Indeed. >up and down. Felicia: In and out. Artemis: Left and right. Zoicite: Slap and tickle. Felicia: I'm not into that. >The Woren then began to suck and lick and the princess' pert >nipples, causing her to moan and speed up her pace. > Soon, all three were groaning Felicia: (Nina) *fart* Sorry, my fault. >in ecstasy. Finally, Rei began to buck Zoicite: And threw both of them out the window. >and >jerk his hips, seeking to bury his long cock deeper inside Nina's wet cunt. Artemis: (Nina) You're already in up to my esophagus! How much more do you want?! >The Woren roared, spurting wad after wad of semen deep into Nina, his knot >enlarging inside of her. Artemis: I see the word 'knot' one more time, I'm shredding this lemon. >Ryu could feel this, and it sent the young prince >over the edge. Felicia: And they all died a horrible, sperm-y death. >Ryu also began to spurt cum into Nina's tight ass. All of >this combined finally sent Nina over the edge, Felicia: But tragically, she had already been skewered on the rocks. Zoicite: I like it when Mina's not here. Felicia: Yeah, we have a more pro-death environment. >and she moaned loudly in >ecstacy as she climaxed. > All three were finally spent, but neither of the two boys could pull out of >Nina because of Rei's enlarged knot. Artemis: THAT'S IT!!! Felicia: Wait, it's almost over! Artemis: Grrrr..... >Nina sighed and laid back on Rei's >chest, resting until the Woren's cock softend Felicia: I'm really getting tired of this... >enough for him and Ryu to pull >out of Nina. All three got up, grinning and laughing, and pulling their >clothes back on, agreeing to do it much more often. Zoicite: Hopefully with a better author. *egress* Artemis: So where is everybody? Felicia: I don't know...no one's come back yet... Zoicite: Think we should go out looking for them? Felicia: Sure. Why don't we just split up? Then we can run up some stairs and wait for an ax murderer to kill us. Zoicite: Bad idea? Felicia: We stick together. It's cliché, but at least we won't all get lost. Artemis: Uh...what if we *do* get lost? Felicia: Then I can eat you two to survive. *silence* Felicia: I'm kidding! Jeez, have a sense of humor, why don't you? *silence* Felicia: Oh, just come on! *grabs them, and runs off into the bowels of the ship* ------------------------------------------------------------ Other than the occasional typo and the knot thing, this was actually a good lemon. I might have to reconsider MiSTing the others by Neo Cactaur... Oh yeah, and did you notice how, once the Poetry Man came back, there were always three people MiSTing? You did? Good for you! Here's a cookie! *tosses a cookie* Oops, it fell down the bottomless pit. Well, here's some spelunking equipment for you. Good luck! The Master of Eternal Darkness, Shadow