Yeah, baby! Lots of stuff in this episode! One annoying thing is, I had the profile for the guy who wrote the lemon, but I didn't save it anywhere, so it ended up getting lost in the void of the net. Oh well, easy come, easy go. Anyway, there's lots of plot holes to fill, so read on! ----------------------------------------------------------------------- My Quick Disclaimer: This lemon was written by some unknown guy. It's being used without permission, due to a lack of e-mail address, online nick, or anything else. I had his information, but I lost it. Heh...sorry. ^_^;;;;;; Complete disclaimer info is at my site, if you're at all curious. http://www.geocities.com/shadow_archive/ (note: the site info is/was for the folks at fanfiction.net, but since they don't allow MSTs anymore, I'm including it just in case I post my stuff to other fanfiction sites.) Mystery Science Theater is owned by Best Brains. Anyone want to help me with the rest of the copyright info? Minako, Sailor Venus, Zoicite, Artemis, and Sailor Moon are owned by Toei Animation. The respective characters and copyrights belong to them. Felicia and Darkstalkers are owned by Capcom, copyrights, same deal. Megabyte and Reboot are owned by ATFL, Mainframe Entertainment Inc., BLT Productions Ltd. and Alliance pictures. I'm not really sure about all that, but those are the company names in the end credits of Reboot. Tenchi Masaki and Tenchi Muyo!, Tenchi Universe, and the rest of the Tenchi franchise are owned by Pioneer. Ayla was created by Akira Toriyama. ALL HAIL!!! The Poetry Man is owned by me and my company, Ink Blot Inc. Much thanks to Greg Hawkins for the copyright info for Tenchi Muyo. A million thanks to Bryant (a.k.a. UltraZor8) for the theme song! Thanks to Ben Nunez for doing the fanart of the SoL crew. Thanks to every MiSTer out there for giving bad lemons the riffing they so richly deserve. *** In the not too distant future, Somewhere in outer space, Anime's favorite players, Are caught in a dire place. Trapped by a virus called Megabyte, An evil guy whose game is fright, He put our heroes in his verse, And now he wants to rule the entire universe! All: Let us go, you Bastard!! I'll send them cheesy lemons, The worst I can find! (La-la-la) They'll have to sit and read them all, As I monitor their minds! (La-la-la) Now keep in mind they can't control, When the lemons begin or end, (La-la-la) But they'll try to keep their sanity, (off-stage chorus: Hopefully!) With some help from their anime friends! Anime Roll Call! Zoicite! (Cursed censors!!) Mina! (Don't get me started!) Tenchi! (Why me!) Artemis! (She's Not A Virgin!!) Felicia! (Ahm, Yarn!) Ayla! (Me Sleepy Now!) The Poetry Man! (Sh___t!!!!!) Alex Trebeck! (PowerPuff Girls must Die!!) All: What THE?!! If you wonder how they eat and breath, and other science facts, (La-la-la) Just repeat to yourself it's just a show, So Shut the Fu__ UP! and Relax For Mystery Science Theater, 3000!!! {twang} MST vers. 1.000000017: Incomprehensible Legal Shit In the last episode, Megabyte finished his manufacturing process for the armband trackers! Oh no! Luckily, Greg Hawkins, Super Lawyer, saved the day (well, not really). When the lemon inevitably arrived, Mina swatted Artemis into the theater and got some alone time with Tenchi! How romantic! Meanwhile, in the past, Zoicite found the scientist's (er, Doctor's) lab, and stole his time machine! Zounds! And finally, me, Reef, and Alysa managed to get into the vault, only to find... the great Shigeru Miyamoto! Wow, this is getting exciting! Let's watch, shall we? *** The Scene: The living room (right now Mina is playing Lost Kingdoms, Tenchi is off in the kitchen, Greg is preparing for his case, the Poetry Man is...well, who cares? And finally, Artemis and Felicia are plotting something...ohh, the drama!) Mina: No, no, no...yes, yes yes! Go, go, go! Artemis: (to Felicia) She takes those games way too seriously... Felicia: Look at it this way: it keeps her away from Tenchi. Artemis: Grrr...right... Felicia: Anyway. We still don't know how Greg got up here, but I think we can safely assume he got here the same way as Ayla and the Poetry Man. Artemis: Through the Hall of Doors in the basement. Felicia: Right. Artemis: Alright, then looking at it from a scientific perspective, I think all those doors are hooked up to some dimensional rift or something. Felicia: That'd make sense, but they must be one way, or Ayla would've been able to leave after she got here. Artemis: Right...but maybe, just maybe, one of the doors holds a two-way rift that can get us out of here! Felicia: It's pretty far-fetched, but hey, I've got hope. Artemis: Yep. So let's go! The Scene: The basement (As expected, Felicia and Artemis are going down the stairs into the Hall of Doors) Felicia: Hm...no train today? Artemis: Good, that thing's a safety hazard. (they walk past door #1, linger at the SOB door, then move on) Felicia: Alright...this is it. Are you ready? Artemis: Probably not. Felicia: Then let's do it. (by the way, in case you've all forgotten, Ayla and the Poetry Man were in doors 3 and 4, so they're now at door #5. Let's see what happens!) Felicia: Okay...here we go... (opens the door) (suddenly...) Announcer: It's the demolition team! Dwarves: Mortar Combat!!! *slam!* Felicia: O-kay, let's go to the next door. (walks over to door #6 and...) (suddenly...again...) Announcer: It's the bacon commercial! Poetry Man: Are you stuck with bacon that leaves you unsatisfied? Do you want bacon that gives you a warm, fuzzy feeling inside? Then try Dramaminy's Bacon! Based in the foothills of Mississippi, Dramaminy hand-selects all his hogs for the finest cuts of bacon. Dramaminy's: Wait, wait, wait, I can't say this! Director: Cut, cut! What's the problem? Poetry Man: I can't say the slogan. Director: Why not? It's just "Our bacon is finah than all the pussy in North Carolinah!" Poetry Man: That's just it, that can't be true! I still have ethics, you know. Director: You're kidding me. Poetry Man: Sure, I have ethics and morals and...y'know, that honesty shit! I can't say it if it isn't true. Seriously. Director: Alright...how can we solve this little problem? Poetry Man: Bring me all the pussy in North Carolina! *slam!* Felicia: I'll kill him so bad, he dies twice!! Artemis: Later. Let's check these doors first. Felicia: Alright, alright... (goes to door #7 and opens...) (suddenly...yes, again!) Announcer: It's the Announcer's booth! Felicia: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! Artemis: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Announcer: DON'T LOOK AT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! *SLAM!!!* Artemis: What the hell was that?!?!? Felicia: I don't know, but it looked like that thing in Exploitation Now! Artemis: The big thing or the little thing? Felicia: Kinda like a small big thing. Artemis: Ohh, right. Felicia: Fuck it, let's move on. (door #8, you know the drill) (suddenly...) *silence* *ahem* (I said, suddenly...!) Announcer: Fuck off! (......) (whatever...) Artemis: Uh... Felicia: What the hell is this?!?!?! Artemis: It appears to be the Jell-o factory. Felicia: That's it, I'm outta here. Artemis: But there's always room for Jell-o! Felicia: Oh, shut up! The Scene: Somewhere in time... Zoicite: Whoa!! This is one wild ride! Ayla: Epoch feel funny... Zoicite: Well, that weird fuck did say it was only half-done...wait a sec, where the hell are we gonna pop out? Ayla: Ayla no set exit. Zoicite: ...you started the time machine with no exit point?!?! Fuck! If I remember my quantum physics lessons (and he does) then we'll be ejected to some random point in time! (how convenient, huh?) Ayla: Uh...huh? Zoicite: It's complica--WHOA!!! *flash!* The Scene: Unknown! (gotta keep up suspense!) Zoicite: Wow...where are we? Ayla: This place loud. Zoicite: Yeah...wait, I remember this song! Song: Humidity is rising - Barometer's getting low According to all sources, the street's the place to go Cause tonight for the first time Just about half-past ten For the first time in history-- Zoicite: It's raining men! (the scene? A male strip club!) Zoicite: HALLELUJAH!!! Ayla: Where we end up? Zoicite: Well, upon further ogling, (oh boy, is he ogling) it appears to be a male strip club/karaoke bar! Ayla: Huh? Zoicite: Half-naked men dancing around. Ayla: (looks around) Good place! Zoicite: DAMN good place! (climbs up on stage) Hi boys! The Scene: Back on the SoL, in the living room Felicia: Damn doors... Artemis: Let's try again later. Felicia: I don't wanna try again! That place is freaky! Artemis: Come on, we gotta keep going! If Ayla and the nutcase got here through those doors, there must be a way out! Felicia: Later. Looks like Greg's about to start his case. (Greg walks out of the kitchen, lugging seven briefcases behind him.) Greg: I'm ready to legislate! Artemis: We're screwed. Felicia: So what? This'll be funnier than the SOB! *communicator beeps* Megabyte: You labrats are trying my patience with these long breaks... Greg: Ah, glad you could make it! Megabyte: Excuse me? Greg: It's time for trial! Megabyte: Oh yes...that foolishness that will ultimately lead to your doom... Greg: Glad you remembered! Anyway, now that everyone's here, let's begin the trial! (everyone grabs a chair from the kitchen and sits down in front of the communicator, and Greg begins his opening speech. Artemis had to get on Mina's lap before she could sit on Tenchi's, by the way :P) Greg: *ahem* We, the people of the Satellite of Love-- Artemis: So now he's one of us after one day? Greg: --In order to form a more perfect union-- All: Huh?? Greg: Whoops, wrong speech! *facefault* Greg: Anyway, this treatment of these people is cruel and inhumane! Megabyte: That's the point of the experiments. Greg: Uh...o-kay...well, anyway, these tracer armbands are a violation of privacy! Megabyte: The lives of my experiments are mine to control, in any way I see fit! They are my little lab rats, Greg: You're really evil, you know that? Megabyte: Thank you, I try. Greg: Irregardless-- Megabyte: That isn't a word. Greg: Yes it is. Megabyte: No it isn't. Greg: Yes it is. Megabyte: No it isn't! Greg: Yes it is! Megabyte: No it isn't!!! Greg: Yes it is!!! Megabyte: NO IT ISN'T!!! Greg: YES IT IS!!! Mina: CEASE AND DESIST OR DIE!!! *sweatdrop* Mina: *ahem* Well...just don't use that word anymore. Megabyte: I really wouldn't mind if you killed him. Mina: Later. Greg: Well, anyway, that was my opening speech. Now for my first witness! All: Oh no... Greg: I call to the stand-- All: (muttering) Not me, not me, please not me... Greg: Megabyte! *gasp!* Megabyte: Oh, alright, if it'll get you to shut up. Artemis: Wait a minute...isn't Megabyte the prosecutor, the witness, *and* the judge? Greg: Hmm...tough case. *major sweatdrop* Megabyte: Hmph, the rest of you subjects get in the theater. We'll be through here soon enough. Tenchi: Gladly... Mina: Hey, where's the Poetry Man? Felicia: You don't want to know. Mina: You're probably right. *Lemon Sign blares* Artemis: We've got Lemon Sign! Mina: Let's go! Felicia: Boo-yah! *entre* *dog bone* *6, a picture of Tracey being eaten by a pack of wolves* *5, video loop of the Death Star Trench Run scene* *4, screenshot of Nabiki and the female Ranma 69ing* *3, Goku going SSJ3* *2, picture of Indianapolis Charmander with an erection* *1, a big wheel of monterey jack cheese* (outside) Greg: Now, where were you on the night of December 31st, 120192AD? Megabyte: ...what? (back in the theater) (just as a quick reminder, this is Ash and Misty's Permanence, by some guy). > >The girl smiled. Tenchi: Which girl? Felicia: Misty. Mina: Again?! Can't that girl keep her legs closed? Artemis: *ahem* Mina: What? Artemis: Oh, nothing... >She knelt down in front of Ash, her face directly in front of his >penis. She turned pink, Artemis: She should've separated her whites from her colors. >looking at the unknown territory. Felicia: The hidden land of Penisia! > >His manhood stood incredibly Tenchi: Insert adjective here. >erect. Mina: I would've gone with jocular. Artemis: Odd choice. Mina: Odd lemon. >A little bit of white precum dribbled out of the end >of his head, Mina: It's coming out of his nose?! Felicia: Wrong head. Mina: Too bad, that'd be sorta neat. >as his balls Tenchi: Bounced! >bulged like sidekicks Artemis: That movie sucked. Felicia: What are you talking about? It had Chuck Norris in it! Artemis: Bruce Lee is better. >behind his main attraction. Mina: I thought that was his sidekick... > >'That's not pee, is it?' Artemis: Yes. Run away, quickly! >Misty thought. 'I wonder what it is?' Artemis: ACID!!! RUN!!! Mina: Quit that. > >She slowly grasped his swelled manhood and stroked the tip with her thumb. Ash took a Felicia: Moment to compose himself, then ran for his life. >sharp intake >of air Artemis: Then Misty punched him in the stomach. Mina: (Misty) That was my air! >when he looked down to find Misty curiously Mina: Batting around his penis like a rubber mouse. Felicia: That brings back memories... Mina: O_O Felicia: I mean...how about them Packers? >tasting his seed. He >didn't think she'd like it, Artemis: Why not? It's Misty, after all. >since he definitely didn't, but she smiled and licked her >lips. > >"I think that they call this a blowhard... All: KYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Felicia: Well, you do have to 'blow hard'! Mina: Yo-ho, blow the man down! Tenchi: This blows. Artemis: ...Tenchi stole mine. >or, no, a blow job...," Felicia: You were closer with the first one. >Misty placed both her >hands around Ash's seven inch cock Mina: Seven inches?!?! Artemis: Somebody's been eating their wheaties. >and placed her lips in an "o" shape Tenchi: Wow, she even managed the quotation marks! Mina: Looks like a mustache... >just over his >head. Ash trembled. She ran her hot tongue over the end and removed her Artemis: Brain. Felicia: (Misty) Won't be needing this anymore! >hands, only to >pull the rest of ash's boxers and jeans down to his mid-thigh. The girl then placed her >palms right over Ash's buttocks and squeezed him hard... with both her hands and her >mouth. Artemis: If she squeezed with her mouth, wouldn't she...? Tenchi: I don't want to think about it... > >Ash couldn't take it any longer. He couldn't take the enormous, Mina: But the enormous could take him. >unbearable feeling of Felicia: Brick. Mina: Brick? Felicia: Yes, brick. Artemis: Not again... >need, and reflexively ran his hands through her Felicia: Head, killing her and ending the lemon. Artemis: We can only hope... >wet hair and then rammed himself into Tenchi: The wall. >her suckling mouth as he forcefully pulled her head towards him. > >"Mmmgh," Misty protested as she gagged from Ash's penis entering her throat. Her tongue >was being uncomfortably mashed between his manhood and her lower teeth. Felicia: Bite it, bite it good! Artemis: Quit that! > >But it did no good. Ash was in a whole other universe Mina: One where Misty wasn't a slut. Felicia: No such thing. >as he grabbed her hair Tenchi: That starched-up ponytail seems almost convenient now... >and moved >her entire head back and forth, letting his cock Felicia: Throw a tea party in her esophagus. >throb against the roof of his friend's >mouth. Mina: Geez, if that's how he treats his friends, I'd hate to see what he does to Gary... Artemis: Must...purge...mental...image... > >After almost a minute, Tenchi: That long, huh? Usually takes a few seconds. Mina: She's a bit slow. >Misty was beginning to enjoy the rub Artemis: Ah yes, there's the rub... >and pulse of her traveling >partner's stiff rod sliding in and out of her mouth. Noticing that he was about to come, >she quickly decided on a mean play. Mina: A punt, right in the balls! > >She pulled her head away from Ash and watched him come Mina: Eww...on the face again? >close to tears as his giant, >shaking manhood quivered without anything to pleasure it. Felicia: Well...it's not a cumshot, but that's just sad... > >"Ash, Ash, Ash," Misty chuckled, watching the boy grasp himself in effort to try and >come. "No manners at all." > >The redhead stood up and looked him in the eye, while giving him a teasing flick as his >penis bobbed up and down. > >"It's my turn now." Artemis: Should we see how Greg is doing? Felicia: Why not? Should be good for a laugh. Mina: If he calls me as a witness, I'm fleeing. *egress* The Scene: NOA Headquarters, the secret prototype vault (note: from here on Shigsy's gonna speak some Japanese, and as I'm not fluent, I'm not sure whether I'll be using the proper word/tense/grammar, so if you do happen to know Japanese and see that I'm in error, just ignore it.) Shadow: Dude! We found Shigeru Miyamoto! Alysa: Yeah, but what's he doing here? Reef: Uh... Miyamoto: Hehehehe...whoa...have you ever seen a room this white? Reef: Judging by the lava lamp, the finger paints, and the bag of weed, I'd say he's stoned off his ass. Miyamoto: Hai, kochi-kun! Reef: What'd he call me? Shadow: Er...a fish. Reef: O-kay... Miyamoto: Douseki, kudasai! Shadow: Er...he wants us to sit with him. Alysa: Well, I don't see why not! Reef: Always happy to help a guy get rid of narcotic substances! (skip to five minutes later...) Shadow: Hehehehe... Reef: Snoochies... Alysa: Haha...wow...I'm like, so red... Reef: Check me out! I'm a fish, dude! Shadow: Hehehehe... Miyamoto: Weed sugoi da... Shadow: Hehehehe... Reef: Hey...Shadow...is this how you wrote PTNP? Shadow: Well, the room wasn't quite as white, but the air smelled the same! Alysa: Hey...my name backwards is Asyla! Reef: Wow...I never knew that about you... Shadow: Hey, Miyamoto-san, I always wanted to ask you...why is Mario Italian? Why not Japanese? Miyamoto: Uh...blame it on the weed, dude. Shadow: I always do. The Scene: The Present, Rory no Jin no Uchi (Rory's House of Men) Zoicite: I can't believe there's a Japanese guy named Rory... Ayla: Wheee!! Zoicite: Ayla, quit swinging off the cages! Ayla: Ayla like cage man! Zoicite: Yes, yes, so do the rest of us. (to himself) Hell, I can't believe we ended up in modern-day Japan...at least now we have a decent chance of figuring out how to get back. (to a stripper) Hey, beefcake, gimme a lapdance! *begin lapdance!* Zoicite: Mmm...er, must focus! Instead of just getting back, I can see if anyone here has the technology to get the others out! Or I can just stay here and get lapdances... Ayla: Zoicite! We save others? Zoicite: ...damn. I miss being a villain... Alright! We'll save the others! But first... (to the lapdancer) I've got some yen in my pants. Be a good boy and fish it out! (moving away from the homoerotic activities...) The Scene: Back in the theater >Misty pulled off Ash's dorky gloves Mina: They ARE dorky, aren't they? >and then pulled off his jacket and black shirt, >tossing his cap to the side. Tenchi: (Ash's cap) Bitch! >She then Tenchi: Got up and left. Felicia: The end, the end! >stretched and laid her entire body out on the soft >grass, her legs only a few inches apart. > >Ash stared at the beautiful girl in front of him. Artemis: (Ash) Maybe I can trade her in for a girl who'll actually finish a blowjob... >She was cruel, to leave him hanging >like that, Artemis: You? What about us? Mina: Us? Artemis: The faster they get tired, the faster we get out of here. >but now he wanted to pleasure her, not just himself. Tenchi: You'd think he'd just go find another girl... Mina: Nobody else is that slutty. Tenchi: Good point. >He pulled off his jeans >and boxers and threw them behind. He kneeled Mina: (Misty) I dub thee, Sir Jack-a-lot. >down in front of Misty's long, ivory legs >and placed his trembling hands on her knees, slowly pulled them apart. He edged closer >between her and then put his hands down onto the grass next to her breasts. He stood in >a doggy position Tenchi: Now that's a contradiction in terms if I ever saw one... >over her supine Mina: Uh, what-- Artemis: Don't ask, it's a needlessly complicated word. Mina: Well, I figured that. >body and then reached Felicia: This whole thing is reaching... >his head down to put his mouth >around her right nipple. He ran his tongue in circles all around her pebble and >unconsciously lowered himself until he was lying in between her legs, his erection >still swollen and resting on her virgin pussy. Artemis: She's not a virgin! >He licked Misty into oblivion. Artemis: And there she stayed for the duration of the lemon. >She >moaned and gasped as Ash's seemingly expert tongue Felicia: Yet completely amateur and totally ineffective. Greg: (from outside) Lemon Law 19, modified for guys! Megabyte: (also from outside) QUIET!!! All: ....... >exerted itself over her two, soft >orbs. Sometimes he would Tenchi: Cry at night, thinking of his lost love Lenore. >open his mouth as wide as it would go and nearly swallow a >whole breast. Felicia: Like that's so hard with her chest... > >Finally, he tired of her jiggling toys and Mina: Bought an Atari. >moved up to lick her neck, pressing kisses >all the way down... down between her tits that she squished around his face... down... >down... and all the way down. Artemis: To HELL!!! > >He liked the smell of her. Felicia: Catnip on toast! Aremis & Fel: Mmmmmm... >Warm and sweet, like coconuts. Mina: I hate coconuts. >Ash got right to work. Artemis: He grabbed a hard hat and a pickaxe, and--! Mina: No. Artemis: No? Mina: HELL no! >He >stretched his mouth wide open and placed it over her pussy lips as if he were giving >mouth of mouth resuscitation to her virgin hole. Artemis: She's not a virgin!! All: We know, we know! >He lapped at her now flowing juices >and enjoyed the taste. Tenchi: (Ash) Mmm...motor oil... >She writhed and wriggled, her hands clutching his wild hair as >he sucked on her pleasure. All: ... Artemis: Well, that's a new one... Mina: Now let's never speak of it again... >She groaned as he moved his nose down to inhale her aroma. Tenchi: (Ash) Mmm...fishsticks... >He fooled around with her Artemis: Sisters. Felicia: That happened to me once...except it was someone else's sister. Artemis: Ouch... >pussy lips and sucked like a madman until he felt Felicia: Chest pains. >her give >an involuntary jerk of the hips. > >'Hehe, my chance now,' Ash thought of what Misty had done to him earlier. Artemis: He didn't like it, so he got a knife-- Mina: *picks up a mallet* Artemis: Er...never mind. >He stood up >and looked into Misty's lustful eyes. > >"Ash... Felicia: (Misty) Lick me or die, bitch. >please... please, Ash, just lick me some more...," she pleaded. Mina: Since when does Misty plead? Artemis: Yeah, get to the smashy-smashy! >"First things first," Felicia: (Ash) Finish the damn blowjob! >Ash directed. Artemis: William Holden produced, and Woody Allen executive-produced. >He then turned around into a 69 position and plunged >his still hard cock down her throat. Misty wildly swallowed Mina: Now now, always remember to chew your food! Tenchi: *crosses his legs* >him worked her throat >muscled on his pulsing erection. Ash gave a guttural groan and rocked his hips back and >forth. When he finally opened his eyes, Tenchi: He realized it was all a dream. Artemis: Oh, if only... >he saw Misty's beautiful, swollen Felicia: Penis. *thwap!* Felicia: I still say it would explain a lot! Mina: I don't want it to be explained like that! >clit. He >pulled his mouth over her and pleasured her like there was no tomorrow. Artemis: Judging by those four guys on horseback over there, there might not be one... > >The two young travelers swallowed and sucked each other like crazy. The feeling of >Misty's tongue swirling around his love rod pushed Ash over the edge. Mina: Where the hell's this edge everyone keeps talking about? > >"MMMMMMGGGPPHHH!!!!" Tenchi: I'm sorry, I didn't quite get that, was that "MMMMMMGGGPPHHH?" >he cried as he latched onto her pussy while mashing Misty's face. > >She felt him tense up in her throat and wriggled her tongue as wildly as she could as >his sudden rope of thick, salty Felicia: Hemp. >cum gush out of his penis and into her throat. She >couldn't swallow as fast as Ash creamed, though, and his seed overflowed out of her >mouth and onto her face, which rolled off in waves onto the grass. Mina: What is he, a horse or something?! > >Ash arched his back in fiery Artemis: DOOM!!! >pleasure, so many times stronger than when he had just >masturbated earlier. While still cumming his brains out, Tenchi: Shouldn't he have finished much sooner, then? Artemis: Ohh, low blow...I like it! >he cried out and unconsciously >flipped Misty over. He fixed himself behind her and shoved his entire love rod into her >virgin hole. Artemis: She's not--! All: WE KNOW!!! >Her barrier ripped like tissue paper Artemis: It *is* tissue paper, because-- *bap!* Mina: Quit it... >as he rammed himself to the hilt >inside her. Artemis: Okay, I don't get this. He's apparently ejaculating the contents of the Hoover Dam, so he automatically goes for the pussy because her mouth isn't good enough? Mina: It's a lemon. Artemis: That's not good enough anymore! Why can't any of these things have any sort of bearing on reality?!?! What kind of moron would write this crap? Tenchi: A lemon writer. Artemis: Good enough. > >Although Misty felt a little bit of pain, it was nothing compared to the ecstasy she >encountered when she felt Ash's balls slap against her. Felicia: (Misty) Ooh, yeah, slap those balls! >He drove himself as far into her >as he could, cumming and cumming what seemed like never ending gushes of passion, then >taking himself almost all the way out, and then banging his entire length into her >tight, gripping hole. > >Misty was driven to absolute ecstasy Mina: (Misty) Hey, I wanted to go to Wisconson! I'm not paying the fare, you bastard! >and cried out her lover's name, Felicia: (Misty) GAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRYYYYYYYY!!! Artemis: (Ash) WHAT THE HELL?!?! >nothing entering >her mind Mina: That's no surprise. Artemis: Harsh... >besides the white hot fire she felt. > >"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Felicia: (Misty) I thought I told you to pull out! Tenchi: (Ash) You never said that. Felicia: (Misty) Well, I meant to! > >He grunted, jamming Felicia: To Naomi beats! >himself two last deep thrusts. He grabbed her hips and held her ass >right against his pelvis as he felt his two exploding balls slip into her flowing cunt. All: ~_~;;;; Artemis: That's it, I'm not listening anymore. >She bucked like a wild animal and took in his entire self inside her tight love tunnel >and gasped deep and lustfully. Ash held the quaking girl on him, afraid that if he let >go that she would literally explode. Tenchi: She's not a grenade, you boob. Felicia: Yeah, but she sure would explode if he pulled out early. Tenchi: Touché. > >Finally, their earth-shattering cries and passions were ridden out. > >Misty lay in Ash's lean arms, his now soft penis still buried to the hilt inside of her. > >"What was that about not doing anything permanent?" Ash inquired playfully. > >Misty giggled and snuggled deeper onto him. > All: -_-;;; *egress* Artemis: That had to be the stupidest ending I've ever seen. Felicia: What about Love in the Forest? Artemis: Let's just let Love in the Forest be in its own special category. Felicia: In that case, that was the dumbest ending ever. Mina: Enough about that, how's Greg doing? (meanwhile...) Greg: And it's evil! And corrupt! And really, really bad! I have a dream, that catgirls and crazy poetry-reading motherfuckers can live in harmony together, this nation, under God, and did I mention I'm from a town called Hope? Megabyte: (very annoyed) Yes, SEVERAL times! Greg: Good! Now I'd like to call back all my surprise witnesses! Ross Perot: Again?!?! *flash!* Greg: Er, check that, I'll just call the Poetry Man. Megabyte: Oh no... (suddenly...) Announcer: It's the Poetry Man! Poetry Man: Alright, my turn! Greg: Okay, do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth? Poetry Man: Would you believe me if I said yes? Greg: No. Anyway, where were you on the night of July 25th? Poetry Man: I was checking out this hot bitch on www.hotbitches.com. Greg: O...kay...and what were you doing on August 4th? Poetry Man: I was wacking off to this big titted slut on www.bigtittedsluts.com. Megabyte: Head...throbbing...vision...blurring... Mina: Now you know what we have to go through every damn day. Artemis: Yeah, forget the lemons, just unleash the Poetry Man on the world. Megabyte: Yes, but then I would still have to listen to him. Artemis: Good point... Greg: (to the Poetry Man) Alright, where were you on August 12th? Poetry Man: I was downloading movies of this chick fucking a snake over at www.catholic.org. (that's the only real URL of the bunch) Greg: You're sick. Poetry Man: And you owe me money! Greg: Fuck you! Poetry Man: KAMIKAZE!!! (tackles Greg) Greg: (tackled) You shall perish against my lawyer powers...OF DOOM!!! (they fight...anime combat style!) Poetry Man: Poetry Kick! Greg: Deposition Blast! Poetry Man: Rhyme Slap! Greg: Briefcase Smash! (and so on...) Felicia: Grab a seat, quick! (grabs chairs from the kitchen to watch the fight) Tenchi: I got the popcorn! (walks out of the kitchen with a big bowl) Felicia: Alright, party time! Mina: Twenty bucks on the lawyer! Felicia: Thirty on the Poetry freak! (continuing the fight...) Poetry Man: Stanza Attack! Greg: Legalese Wave! Megabyte: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Mina: What's with you? Megabyte: Listen. If I swear to discontinue the armbands, will you make that annoying little man go away?!?! Tenchi: Which one? Megabyte: I don't care! Just get them out of my sight! *leaves* *silence* All: WHOO-HOO!!! Greg: Eh? What happened? All: WE WON!!! Greg: Great! Wait, that means I won! Yeah, go me! Poetry Man: You still owe me money! Greg: No problem! I'll just collect my legal fees... *ahem, ahem* Felicia: Er...about that... Artemis: See, we don't actually have any money... Greg: WHAT?!?! Artemis: What'd you expect? We live in a satellite and our food is provided by a shadowy pervert who's got a thing for cavegirls. Greg: But...but...what about those bets? Mina: Oh, that was just pretend. It's just not a bitch match without a few bets. Greg: Are you calling me a bitch? Mina: No, him. *points to...well, you know* Poetry Man: That's slander! I'll sue! Greg: Need a lawyer? Felicia: DON'T START!!! The Scene: Rory's House of Men Zoicite: Ahh...that was a good lapdance. Long, too. Hey, Ayla, you having fun? *silence...well, for a strip joint, anyway* Zoicite: Ayla? (gets up) Hey, Ayla! Where are you? *no response* Zoicite: Damn...hey, anyone here speak English? My Japanese is a little rusty. (technically, mine's rusty, but go with it) Rory: Hai, yes, I speak English. Zoicite: Did you see where my friend went? The girl in the furs. Rory: Yes, yes, she left. Zoicite: WHAT?!?! Rory: Yes, she said she was hungry and went off to find something called a 'reptite'. Zoicite: Ohhhh, shit... Rory: Will there be anything else, sir? Zoicite: Yes, I need a cell phone, a map of Tokyo, and a plate of hot wings. (suddenly...) ????: I've finally found you, you Negaverse scum! Zoicite: What the hell?? *looks* *gasp* Sailor Moon?!?! Sailor Moon: That's right! I fight for love, truth, and justice, and in the name of the moon-- Zoicite: (rushing past her) Yeah, yeah, that's great, see you later! Sailor Moon: Hey, come back here! *chases!* Moon Tiara Magic! *BONK!* Zoicite: OW!!! Watch where you're throwing that thing! Sailor Moon: I will defeat you, you villain! Zoicite: Why me!!! To be continued! ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Poor Zoicite! Just as he gets a little reward for all his hardships, Sailor Moon shows up to punish him in the name of the moon and all that rubbish. Anyway, I'm finally up to this one Xellos/Filia bondage lemon that I'm gonna LOVE MSTing, just because I've finally seen Slayers Try, so I know just how out-of-character they are. It's gonna be a blast! What will happen to Greg now that the trial's over? Will Zoicite escape Sailor Moon and find Ayla? Will Artemis and Felicia conztinue their exploration of the Hall of Doors? How will Zoicite help the SoL crew? Will Shigeru Miyamoto let us take the prototype, or will we have to fight for it? Should we really be pressing the RED BUTTONs while smoking weed? Reef: Um...I wanna say no, but they're like...so red! Alysa: Hey...I just realized...I'M red! Shadow: That's so profound... Miyamoto: RED BUTTON...kawaii... *press* Er...all that and maybe more on the next episode of: Mystery Science Theater 3000! Reef: So wouldn't Sailor Moon be in her twenties now? Shadow: Beats me. Miyamoto: Usagi no kawaii! Alysa: You think everything's kawaii, ya pot-smokin' pipe-jumpin' freak... Miyamoto: Uh...hai? Alysa: Hi! How are you? Shadow: O-kay, no more for you... Kuragari no Hateshiganai no Sensei, Shadow