Hurray, my first request lemon! And how ironic/weird/convenient it is that it came from the now (in)famous (=P) Greg Hawkins, aka Greg the Arcanine. Heh, I'm gonna have fun with this one... ------------------------------------------------------------ My Quick Disclaimer: This lemon is the property of Greg Hawkins, AKA Greg the Arcanine, and any copyrights belong to him. This MST is done on request, so hurray for me! Mystery Science Theater is owned by Best Brains. Minako, Sailor Venus, Zoicite, and Sailor Moon are owned by Toei Animation. The respective characters and copyrights belong to them. Felicia and Darkstalkers are owned by Capcom, copyrights, same deal. Megabyte and Reboot are owned by ATFL, Mainframe Entertainment Inc., BLT Productions Ltd. and Alliance pictures. I'm not really sure about all that, but those are the company names in the end credits of Reboot. Tenchi Masaki and Tenchi Muyo!, Tenchi Universe, and the rest of the Tenchi franchise is owned by Pioneer. Much thanks to Greg Hawkins for the copyright info. Ayla and her respective character are owned by Squaresoft, my personal heros for creating a goddess like her! The Poetry Man is owned by me and my companies, Eternal Dark Corp., Mark IV Inc., and Ink Blot Inc. Why do I have so many companies? I can't decide which one to keep. I seriously need to learn how to write better disclaimers. If anything, it'll help when I'm writing parody movies for a living. MST vers. 1.000000005: A Friend in Need... Prologue In the year of our Spooge, 2345, the virus known as Megabyte escaped from the Web into the real world and took over a space station in an attempt to conquer the Earth. Finding the work of the Forrester family, he has followed their attempts to drive a population insane by exposing them to bad lemons. Using the method he discovered to get to the real world, he extracted random test subjects from old anime series and placed them inside the space station in an attempt to drive them, and the rest of the world, insane. Among these subjects are Minako, also known as Sailor Venus. The original (male) Zoicite, though he has the breasts of his female counterpart. The catgirl Felicia, from Darkstalkers, and the Juraian descendent, Tenchi Masaki. The strangest additions are The Poetry Man, still in my employ, and Ayla, chief of the Ioka village, both found in the basement of the SOL in the hall of doors. Let's watch, shall we? *** After being high on catnip for a while, Felicia ran downstairs and accidentally released two new crewmembers, Ayla the cavegirl, and The Poetry Man. Felicia suddenly turned violent, then Zoicite, Mina, and Tenchi were called into the theater for another round of Zing That Lemon! When it was all over, they came away with a nice kitchen set and an unconscious Felicia. So far Megabyte hasn't checked in yet, so it's anybody's guess about the whole plot thing. Zoicite: This sucks. Poetry Man: I don't know, I'm having fun. Zoicite: How can you say that?! Felicia's still unconscious! Mina: Yeah, it's been three days. How long is this supposed to last? Artemis: I'm not entirely sure. I mean, she's not exactly a cat and she's not exactly a human, so I can't say for sure. About the only thing we can do now is wait. Tenchi: I hate waiting... *communicator beeps* Mina: Damn it! Megabyte: Young ladies shouldn't swear, you know. Mina: Fuck you! Megabyte: Yes, quite... Regardless, your next lemon will be arriving soon. Please try to be on time for it. Zoicite: You rat bastard! Fel's sick or something, and you're sending us lemons?! Megabyte: Yes... *chuckle* Devilish, isn't it? Enjoy yourself now, my precious subjects. You might not survive till tomorrow. *Megabyte vanishes, then the 'other communicator' beeps* Zoicite: Finally, maybe we can get some good news. *switches it on* John: Hey guys. All: Hey. Poetry Man: Huh? Boss! John: What? Oh, hey. How'd you get there? Poetry Man: I don't know, I just remember getting into a bar fight on Saturn, then waking up downstairs next to this weird cave chick. John: What??? Ayla: *glances at the screen* Who that? John: Hm? ........AYLA!!! *leaps toward her and smashes against the screen* Oww... Ayla: He strange... Mina: No shit. *to John* Where the hell have you been?!?! We're in a little bit of trouble here! John: Uhh...*staring at Ayla* Right...trouble... Zoicite: Yeah, and we need some help! John: Need...breasts... Mina: O_o Zoicite: That's the LAST thing I need! Poetry Man: HEY!!! John: Huh? What? Oh, hey guys. How are things? *facefault* John: What? What'd I say? Ayla: Angry girl asleep for a long time. John: Fel's been unconscious for three days? *facefault* John: Okay, what the fuck did I say this time?! Poetry Man: Listen, Shadow, how the hell do I get out of here? Mina, Zoi, Tenchi, & Artemis: Shadow??? John: Shhh! Keep it down! Megabyte might be listening! Mina: Is that your real name? John: Depends on who you ask. Tenchi: Then what do we call you? John/Shadow: I don't give a flying fuck, just don't use that name where Megabyte can hear, otherwise he's gonna have a lot more ammunition to use against you. Tenchi: Fine, but what about the new lemon he's sending? John/Shadow: Don't worry about it. I got a fairly tame lemon from a friend of mine and changed the filename to trick Megabyte into sending it. It'll be a nice break from the shitfest. *Lemon Sign sounds* Mina: Damn! We've got Lemon Sign! Tenchi: Well, we might as well go in... Poetry Man: Hey, I think I'll join you. I need some entertainment. Zoicite: Ayla, you stay with Felicia. Let us know if anything happens. John/Shadow: Yeah...and we can get to know each other better... Mina: -_- (for the sake of familiarity, I'll be using my actual online nick from now on. And for those of you who weren't expecting this...get a clue!) *entre* *dog bone* *6, a picture of Tracey in a bonfire with Oompa-Loompas pissing on him* *5, slow-motion replay of the GameCube Metroid FMV* *4, Gatomon and Kari doin' the nasty* *3, Goku and Trunks going SSJ ala Toonami intro* *2, picture of Indianapolis Charmander with an erection* *1, a big wheel of parmesan cheese* >“A New Path” >Act I: A New Face Mina: Is this going to end up with Ash owing money to the mob? >By Greg The Arcanine Zoicite: Impressive. He can type without opposable thumbs. > > >Greg: Welcome to my first lemon, Tenchi: Another first! Mina: I'm sensing an annoying trend... >so here is the >Disclaimer: >You can’t be under 18 to read this lemon; Poetry Man: Yes, you can. You just have to be stuck in a spaceship with a bunch of crazy people and an evil computer virus bent on taking over the world. Zoicite: I don't see how you can be so calm. Poetry Man: Compared to my last job, this place is paradise. >if you do >then I am not responsible if your brain gets warped. Tenchi: We're about three lemons past warped. >If you want to post my Lemon somewhere, make a MST out >it, just E-mail me so I know. This means you too >Shadow, I know where you live! Mina: And we know where *you* live, buddy! Tenchi: We do? Mina: Er...I'll find out. >(Pushes a button on the >intercom) you do have Shadow’s address right Chrissie? >Chrissie: I did, but now I lost it. >Greg: What? What am I paying you for? Zoicite: (Chrissie) For filing, I get $7 an hour, and for blowjobs, I get $20 a pint. Mina: Eww... Zoicite: Hey, I'd take that job in a second. >Chrissie: you don’t pay me anything. Zoicite: That's it, I'm complaining to the worker's union! >Greg: Oh, oh well, on with the story! > >Location: A Forest Tenchi: (ominous voice) Of Death!!! > >It was another day for Ash, Brock and Misty. Tenchi: Something happened, then it was resolved, the end. >Misty (of >course) was bitchin about something to Ash, while >Brock was studying the map. Poetry Man: (Brock) Hey, who's been drawing naked men on the back?! Zoicite: IT WASN'T ME, DAMN IT!!! *everyone stares at him* Zoicite: Uh...heh...ignore me. >They have been lost in a >forest for 3 days and we’re run low on supplies. Zoicite: Somebody want to explain to this guy about past and present tenses? Mina: How about we just force him to play Majora's Mask for ten weeks straight? Zoicite: Eh, either one. > >Misty: (In a tired voice) Let’s sit down and rest for >a minute. > >They all agreed and sat down. > >Ash: Let’s eat while we’re resting. Tenchi: Wow, they can eat in their sleep. Poetry Man: Reminds me of a girl I once dated. Mina: Reminds me of Serena. Poetry Man: Oh, you know her too? Mina: What?!?! >Brock: Sorry, we’re out of food. Zoicite: (Misty) Hmm...Pikachu's looking pretty plump... >Ash: (stomach growls) Man I’m hungry. Poetry Man: (Ash's stomach) Give me food, or I start snacking on somebody's leg! >Misty: (angry voice) Well if we would have stuck to >the map and not taken one of you stupid shortcuts, we >wouldn’t be in this mess!!! Tenchi: (shortcuts) We're sorry! >Voice: Shhhhh!!!! Mina: (voice) You're ruining the movie! >Ash, Brock and Misty shoot up on their feet very >quickly. > >Ash: What the hell was that? >Voice: (whispering voice) Shut up!! > >All three of them turn their heads from where the >voice was coming from and saw a guy standing there, >the guy about 7’2” 220lbs, blues eyes, brown hair, >Black Jeans and a Black T-shirt and nothing but >muscles. Zoicite: I finally found my dream man! Poetry Man: Too bad he's not real. Zoicite: He is when I close my eyes. > >Ash: (whispering) Who is that? Tenchi: (Brock) I think it's my mother. >Brock: (whispering) I don’t know. (looks at the guy) >Who are you? Tenchi: (Brock's mother) Brock, don't you recognize your dear mommy-kins? > >The guy never answered, they noticed that he was >interested in something beyond those trees. Mina: You mean those two trees humping each other over there? >They >wanted to know what he was looking at Zoicite: And why his pants were down around his ankles. >so stepped up >behind a couple of trees and looked around them and >saw a small opening. Zoicite: Then Misty finished peeing and pulled up her pants. Mina: Hey, that's just gross! Zoicite: Live with it. I'm bored. >In that small opening they saw >two guys in a white uniform Tenchi: (Ash) Shit, it's the men from the nut house! Poetry Man: (guy in uniform) Remember, shoot to castrate! >with a red “R” symbol on >the front of their uniform and gun holder on their >right side. > >Ash: (thinking) Team Rocket! Poetry Man: (Ash, thinking) I'm gonna get laid! > >He moves in for a closer look and steps on a stick. > >*Snap* > >The two Team Rocket members jerked Poetry Man: Do they have to do that in public?! Zoicite: (unzipping his pants) Hey, I don't mind! Mina: I see a pair of Jockey's and I'm gonna break your hand! Zoicite: Hah! I wear Hanes! *SMACK!* Zoicite: Oww... This is why I never went to Negaverse Catholic School! >their heads toward >the sound, saw Ash, and drew their guns at him. > >(Note: from here on the 2 Team Rocket guys will be >know as Team Rocket Guy #1 & #2 and the guy in black >will be know as Guy in Black.) Tenchi: Can anyone say 'simplicity'? > >Team Rocket Guy #1: Freeze!!!!! >Guy in Black: (looks at Ash) Good going Dumbass!!! Zoicite: Yeah, dumbass! Poetry Man: 99 bottles of dumbass on the wall, 99 bottles of dumbass, you take one down, smack it around, 98 bottles of Ash on the wall! All: O_o Poetry Man: Er, sorry, job flashback. > >Team Rocket Guy #2 signaled Ash Zoicite: (TRG #2) Come on over, you fine piece of ass! >out to the opening >then saw Brock, Misty and Guy in Black and signaled >them out too. (They both had magnums by way) Then he >reckoned the Guy in Black. Poetry Man: (TRG #2) I reckon you're a big, big man! > >Team Rocket Guy #2: (smirks) So we meet again. >Guy in Black: Too bad there won’t be another time. Tenchi: (TRG #2) Yeah, it's a shame I had to take that job in India at the Wacky Racers Dildo Manufacturers. >Team Rocket Guy #2: You’re right! Mina: (TRG #2) I should've held out for the dental plan! > >And with that he shoots his gun at the Guy in Black, >but the Guy in Black swiftly raised his right hand and >caught the bullet. >Team Rocket Guy #2: What the hell!! >Ash/Brock/Misty: (wide eyes) Whoa!! >Guy in Black: Is this yours? (He holds up the bullet >that Team Rocket Guy #2 just shot at him) (smirks) >here, you can have it back. > >In one quick movement the Guy in Black flicks the >bullet in Team Rocket Guy #2’s head and thought Tenchi: (GiB, thinking) Yippee, I got one, I got one! >the other end, Team Rocket guy #1 looked at the dead body >then up at the Guy in Black. > >Team Rocket Guy #1: Who are you? >Guy in Black: Your worst nightmare! Mina: (TRG #1) Oh my god, a giant living bowl of pudding shaped like John Goodman! >And with that, Team Rocket Guy #1, ran like hell! Mina: (hell) Damn, everyone always tries to copy me... > >Ash quickly reacted. > >Ash: Pikachu Thundershock!!!! >Pikachu: PPPPIIIIIKKAACCHHUUUU!!!!! > >Shocks the crap out of Team Rocket Guy #1 Poetry Man: Eww, I hate scat lemons! Tenchi: Ugh, don't even suggest that! >making him >fall unconscious. > >Guy in Black: You fucking retards!!! Mina: (Ash) No, I'm fucking Misty! Poetry Man: Why doesn't he just find someone with a measurable bust? (looks at Zoicite) Like you! Zoicite: I DIDN'T ASK FOR THESE!!! >All: WHAT?? Zoicite: He called you guys retards. They must be hard of hearing. >Guy in Black: I have been trying to find Team Rocket’s >Main headquarters for mouths, Tenchi: (GiB) Because I need blowjobs, damn it! Lots and lots of blowjobs! >but now I can’t find >their hideout, I wanted him to runaway you morons!! >Ash: Oops... Poetry Man: (Misty) Eww, Ash! I told you to pull out! >Brock: Sorry, but we have been lost for three days in >the forest, decided to rest, ran in to you, TWO GUYS >TRIED TO KILL US!!!! (cools down) We thought they >we’re muggers or some kind of thief. >Guy in Black: What’s done is done we have to move on. >(looks at all three of them) What are your names? (suddenly...) Announcer: He's the Poetry Man! Poetry Man: Dammit, how the hell did he get in here?! >Brock: Brock! >Misty: (in a sexy voice) I’m Misty handsome. Tenchi: (GiB) Hello there, Misty Handsome. >Guy in Black: O...kay, (points at ash) and who are you? >Ash: I’m Ash and I’m going to be a pokemon master. >(digs in his pocket) I already have four badges. >Guy in Black: (looks at the badges) So you’re on your >way to Saffron City? Zoicite: (Ash) Yes, I'm going to sell my badges and use the money for hookers. > >They all nod. Poetry Man: And noticed the flock of Pidgey's above them had crapped on their shoes. > >Guy in Black: Follow me. > >The three of them followed the Guy in Black till they >came to an opening with was a dirt road path. > >Brock: Where are we? >Guy in Black: On a path to Saffron City. (pointing >west) Saffron City is that way. >Misty: You never told us your name. >Guy in Black: Just call me ‘Killer’. Zoicite: Can I call you 'hung'? >Misty: (thinking) He’s so sexy. I have to have sex >with him. Mina: I have to get out of here. >Killer: I guest Tenchi: I hostage. Poetry Man: I horny. Zoicite: I stacked. *pause* I sad. >it’s on to Saffron City, you three >have to come too. >Brock: Why? Poetry Man: (Killer) Because I said so, bitch! >Killer: Cause you just got yourselves involved too. >Ash: Involved in what? Zoicite: (Killer) My pants. >Killer: Being down Team Rocket, now they’ll try to >kill you too. >Ash: Shit! Poetry Man: (Ash) Damn Pidgey's! >Brock: How do you know? >Killer: They find out one why Tenchi: Typo there, but it's too easy. Mina: If you say that sentence really fast, he sounds Australian. >or another, has anyone >been following you? >Misty: Jessie and James. >Killer: Who? >James: Nice of you to mention us. >Ash: Not again!! > >Jesse/James Theme Music starts *everyone hums the theme music* > >Jessie: To protect the world from devastation! Mina: (Jessie) To come up with simplistic plans and fuck them up easily! >James: To unite peoples within our nation! Tenchi: (James) To screw each other behind the scenes! >Jessie: To denounce the evils of truth and love! Zoicite: (Jessie) To lie about our sexual preference! >James: To extend our reach the stars above! Poetry Man: It don't rhyme, but I like it! >Jessie: Jessie! >James: James! >Jessie: Team Rocket, Blast off at the speed of light! Tenchi: Have they no respect for Einstein or the Theory of Relativity? >James: Surrender now, or prepare to fight! >Meowth: Meowth, that’s right! > >Killer gives them a strange look. Zoicite: (James) Thanks, but I was hoping for your underpants. > >Killer: What the fuck was that? >Jessie/James/Meowth: Huh? >Killer: Are you some Team Rocket rejects or what? >James: How rude! >Jessie: (walks up to Killer and starts rubbing his >upper arm) Hey handsome, I’m Jessie. >Killer: (jerks his arm away) I now who you are, Tenchi: 'Nother typo there, still too easy. >you >said it in that stupid speech. >James: It is not a stupid speech! >Killer: Could you three leave now? Poetry Man: They aren't leaving without their signature phrase. >James: Not without his Pikachu (Pointing at Ash’s >pokemon) Zoicite: (Ash) That's my crotch, you sicko! Mina: (Misty) Ash, what's Pikachu doing in your pants? Zoicite: (Ash) Uh...he was curious about something. Mina: Okay, stop it, now it's getting lemony in here. >Killer: How about I give you this instead? Zoicite: Yay, he's gonna take off his pants! > >Killer raises his right hand in front of their faces >and releases a bunch of energy waves from his hand >causing them fly off. Zoicite: Tease! >Jessie/James: It looks like Team Rocket is blasting >off again. Poetry Man: There it is! That's the phrase I was looking for! >Killer: here are your choices. Come with me and help >me bring down Team Rocket or go on your own, the path >you chose will be all up to you. Mina: There's that past/present tenses problem again. Tenchi: I'll get the N64, you get the game. > >Ash: what should we do? Zoicite: Strip naked and entertain me! Mina: You didn't used to be this horny. Zoicite: Fel and I used to read Playgirl together... Mina: That's...nice... >--------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------- Zoicite: That is the longest, thinnest dildo I have ever seen. >Greg: Aaaaand cut, that’s a wrap now get the hell out! All: Gladly! > >Everyone leaves expect Chrissie and me. Tenchi: Damn, I thought that was the end. > >Greg: Take 5 Chrissie. > >She gets out for under the desk with white stuff >covering her face. Mina: (Chrissie) I finished cleaning your chalkboard with my face like you told me to. Tenchi: (Greg) Great, now drain the pool by drinking all the water. > >Greg: Here come the teases: Zoicite: Killer already left, didn't he? > >What will happen next time on? > >Pokemon: A New Path Poetry Man: PANP? Must be a coincidence... > >Ash and company decide to take up his offer Zoicite: Yay! Orgy time! Poetry Man: I swear, I see one naked ass that isn't attached to an equally naked female, I'm gonna shoot somebody! > >Misty tries to hit on Killer (poor guy) Zoicite: Yeah, how dare that bitch infringe on my territory?! Mina: You're getting weird, ya know? Zoicite: Eh... > >Killer gets to meet a rare pokemon. Zoicite: Is that what Ash calls his penis? *WHAP!!!* All: Quit it!!! > >This and much mor- (moans) > >Greg: It’s been 5 minutes? >Chrissie: yes >Greg: All right continue. All: Let us outta here!!!! > >This and much more on > >Pokemon: A New Path >Want to be a guest, or just send feedback, E-mail me >at MCV_D...@yahoo.com > Tenchi: Finally! Zoicite: Come on, let's go check on Fel. *egress* Zoicite: Is Fel awake yet? Artemis: No, she hasn't woken up yet...it's getting depressing... Mina: Where'd Ayla go? Artemis: She's in the kitchen making some kinda potion or something. Shadow left after Megabyte came back to check if everyone was in the theater. Said somethin' about soup and dildos I couldn't understand. Poetry Man: Damn it! That's *another* party I'm not gonna see! *Ayla enters, carrying a large bowl* Ayla: She need medicine! Artemis: Wait a damn minute, what are you trying to feed her? Ayla: Medicine. It heal her. Mina: Shouldn't we check with the FDA before we feed her that stuff? (Ayla's already pouring the medicine-type stuff in Fel's mouth) All: GAH!! Felicia: *weakly* Oohhhh...... Zoicite: Felicia! You're awake! Felicia: Zoi...get me... Zoicite: Get you what? Felicia: October issue... Zoicite: Huh? *pause* Oh, just a sec! (runs off and comes back with a Playgirl) Felicia: Page...83...show me... Zoicite: Uh... *turns to page 83* Here! *shows her* Felicia: BOOYAH!!! *sits up* NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!! *facefault* Felicia: Hey, guys! Miss me? Mina: I guess... Poetry Man: One more pussy is always good news! Hey, look at me, I made a double pun! All: -_- Poetry Man: Aw, fuck you. Felicia: Hey, what's been happening with James, Bill, and Cynthia? Mina: Who??? Zoicite: Uh, just soap opera characters... Felicia: (whispering to Zoi) You haven't told her yet? Zoicite: (whispering) Nah, she likes romantic comedies, anyway. Tenchi: Oh well, we're all alive and well, so let's celebrate! *communicator beeps* Megabyte: Perhaps later, my little lab rats. Mina: Aw...why do you have to always ruin our good time? Megabyte: I'm the villain, my dear. It's what I do best. *everyone sans Ayla gives him the finger* Megabyte: How crude. Regardless, it has come to my attention that someone has been tampering with my lemon delivery system. It wouldn't happen to be anyone on your little crew, would it? Zoicite: Don't look at me, I'm a lover, not a computer nerd. Poetry Man: I just get paid to read bad poems. Megabyte: Oh, really? Care to discuss a small business proposition? Poetry Man: I'm still employed, and I'm more scared of my boss than I am of you. Megabyte: It doesn't matter. The delivery system has already been fixed, and I have quite a horrific piece of fiction for you next time. Until then, subjects. *Megabyte leaves* Ayla: He bad guy? Zoicite: Yep. Ayla: You woman? Zoicite: Dammit, no! Ayla: But you got chest... Zoicite: Erghh.... ------------------------------------------------------------ Hah, finished this one in record time, I think. Next I think I'll start on these weird-ass Tenchi lemons I downloaded a few weeks ago. Then again, maybe I should just delete them and reformat my hard drive...nah, an exorcism would work better. The Master of Eternal Darkness, Shadow -- BIG SIG vers. 1.6.1 Congratulations!!! You have been deemed worthy to view my BIG SIG!!!!!!! Kuragari no Hateshiganai no Sensei =================================== Currently holding: 6740 Magic Points 33 Weirdness Points 82 Chicken Points 5 Ass Song Points 4 GIVE ME YOUR POINTS! points 5 Evil-Twin-In-A-Can's 45 Genius points 7 Lab Assistant points 3 MTGWNSOHL points =================================== Current Obsessions (in no particular order) Breath of Fire 3 Chrono Cross (oh baby!) Legend of Mana Rayman 2: The Great Escape Ayla from Chrono Trigger (yes, still!) Copyrighted Phrases "Yo Queiro Pussy!" "Death by Anal Rape!" "Watch the tits!" The Old Laptop Have you heard of this? I have a laptop from 1990!!! Here are the specs! 386 Win 3.0, DOS 6.2 16 mHz processor 60 MB hard drive B&W 5" LCD monitor with brown spots 3.5" floppy drive Dead battery (only works off the AC cord!) And it still works, ladies and gentlemen!!! Random Quotes "Dreams are the stuff of fantasy...enjoy them when possible, remember them always." "I'm not addicted to drugs. I'm just addicted to yellow dots in front of my eyes." Icy Lock: I yelled at the voices in my head in public and named them. Shadow: Oh, have you met Bob? "Fantasy is what goes on inside your head. Reality is everything else." "You want to know what the Force is? It's my cock! You happy now?" -Dennis Miller as George Lucas "He's a dickhead!" "What's a dickhead?" "A giant penis capable of intelligent speech." -Blast from the Past So, me and my penis talked for a while over coffee, and we both decided trying to not masturbate on purpose was bad. Then he spilled coffee on himself, and we both ran around screaming. -Falconeer Random Links My E-mail Address teris...@hotmail.com My Personal Archive http://www.geocities.com/shadow_archive/ My Favorite Site for Free Music http://home.netvigator.com/~chorus/ Winamp - High-Fidelity Mp3 Player http://winamp.com Random Excerpts Excerpts from Merc's- The List of Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord ================================================= If I'm sitting in my camp, hear a twig snap, start to investigate, then encounter a small woodland creature, I will send out some scouts anyway just to be on the safe side. (If they disappear into the foliage, I will not send out another patrol; I will break out the napalm.) If I burst into rebel headquarters and find it deserted except for an odd, blinking device, I will not walk up and investigate; I'll run like hell. I will decree that all hay be shipped in tightly-packed bales. Any wagonload of loose hay attempting to pass through a checkpoint will be set on fire. 'Slutty the Reindeer Song' By Mewbie Selphie: That's hilarious. So it WAS A Reindeer! Slutty, the horny reindeer! Squall: Had a very moooist cunt! Zell: And Whenever menn saw it! Selphie: It would soon become humped.... Squall: All of the other reindeer.... Zell: Would fuck her till her pussy burst!! Selphie: And all the dicks' sizes... Squall: Matched up to a Sausage Wurst! All: Then one cummy Christmas eve! Santa came to say... Slutty with your cunt so tight! Won't you join me in my sleigh tonight! 404 Poem, posted by Denjiro (author unknown) Once upon a midnight dreary, while I websurfed, weak and weary, ...Over many a strange and spurious website of 'hot chicks galore', ...While I clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning, ...And my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour. ..."'Tis not possible," I muttered, "give me back my cheap hardcore!" - Quoth the server, "404".