Hey and a hi-ho there. Wolfvain is here and ready to ROCK YOUR WORLD! Well, maybe I'll lightly shake your hamster instead. In any case it's gonna be good for you. Oh, this is ep. eight in case your wondering, and Pyron's little secret is getting closer to being reviled. REVILED I SAY! Now on to the Disclaimer! Disclaimer: This one is one that some of you might recognize again. I'm gonna be doing the Ranma Lust Virus for you lovely person, people, or very hot chick. Made by a good friend, Shadow, this is the latest Lust Virus lemon. There are four others I think, and the cops still haven't arrested him yet. Pyron is owned by Capcom. All copyrights to him go to them. Batch and Glucose and Mon Collie Knights are owned by someone. Haven't found that copyright info out yet sorry. Vash and the small black cat is owned by yasuhiro nightow / shonen gaho-ahs, tokuma shoten, jvc. That's a hell of a long name even for a Japanese company. Aisha Clan-clan is owned by SOTSU AGENCY, SUNRISE, INC. and I'm so glad they made her. MST3K, the nanites, and anything else related to MST3K belong to Best Brains inc. Harle belongs to Square Co. Lucky Basterds. Tora belongs to Kazuhiro Fujita, Shonen Sunday, Shogunkukan. Akane and Ranma1/2 is owned by Rumiko Takahashi. Hand May May belongs to Jyuzo Mutsuki. My company of Spanky Co. owns Jace, and the name "Anime Lemon Theater 5000 1/2". I couldn't think of any other company names at the time all right! Backstory: After being defeated in his own dimension, Pyron, being pure energy, reformed in this dimension after being sucked through a wormhole. On earth he found the remains of the SOL, some tapes of the experiments, and some nanites (the really, really, really small robots). He went to the moon where the nanites built him a base, a new ship that he named the Satellite of Lemons, and an anime/game character extractor. Pyron studied the surviving tapes and decided to take the idea as his own. . So he kidnapped his first prisoner from earth using a ham and cheese sandwich on a string (yes, I know), then he gathered two anime characters from two different shows. Now others have been added. See below to find out who is MSTing and who isn't. The captives who MST are: The video game and anime freak earthling, Jace. The feline powerhouse and garbage disposal unit, Aisha Clan-Clan, from Outlaw Star. The sexy harlequin and dragon god, Harle, from Chrono Cross. That five hundred year old demon, Tora, from Usieo and Tora The man who has 60 BILLION double dollars on his head, Vash the Stampede, from Trigun. The non-MSTing captives are: The worst cook in the world, yet a strong fighter, Akane, from Ranma1/2. The mini-bot cyber doll and all around hard worker, May, Handy Maid May. And now on to the torture.... Err.... No, wait, I mean torture. _____ Last time on Anime Lemon Theater 5000½: *CHOP!* Three months ago, during Internship: Hot Chick: Are sure you have to massaging my vagina? Wolfvain: Uh, yes. Now turn over so I can spank your ass. Hot Chick: You mean massage? Wolfvain: Same thing. 30 million and two years ago: Male T-Rex: Do you like it when I eat you out? *The female T-Rex would answer, but it's very dead from being "eaten out". * Male T-Rex: Damnit! That's the sixth one this week! How the hell do the mammals do this?! Well I'm gonna keep doing this until I get it right! *And that's the real reason that dinosaurs are extinct today. * Now back to the SOL and today's ep! Episode 8: Lemony ouches and another virus. *CHOP!* *A sudden case of "Delayed Reaction Syndrome" hits everyone at once. * Harle/Aisha: *mouths hang in horror, and eyes wide in horror too.* O.O (See! I told you.) May: *Screams in horror * Tora: Alright Akane! I knew you had it in you. Now finish the job! Akane: VASH! Are you alright?! I'm so sorry! Vash: What? What happened? All: *Face fault* Aisha: What do mean what? She just chopped off your peins! Vash: WHAT?! Quickly, get some ice, a hot glue gun, a sowing kit, a twelve inch steel pipe... Aisha: Hand! I meant hand! Sorry, thinking of something else. *There, on the counter, was Vashs' hand. Well, it was really chopped of in the middle of the Radius and the Ulna. Which is really is half of the forearm down. But everyone had their attention on Aisha on what she had said. * All: *Sweat falt * Aisha: What?! I was thinking of Jace. All: *Big sweat drop* Aisha: *Face turns red* IF ANYONE THINKS OF WHAT I THINK YOUR THINKING, AND I'LL SHOVE ALL OF YOU INTO SPACE! Harle: Um, back to Vashs' hand. Tora: Oh well, too late to save it. I'll just have to dispose of it. *Tora jumps over the table, swiftly moves to the decapitated hand, and snatches it up. * Vash: Wait Tora, you don't want to do that. Tora: I know we're out of barbecue sauce, but I like it plain too. * Tora tilts his head up, opens his mouth, and pops Vashs' hand into the air. * Vash: No! *CLANG!* Akane: Clang? Tora: *In pain* AHHHHHHHHHHHH! My teeth! What in the seven levels of hell is going on?! *Vashs' hand falls out of Toras' mouth, and falls on the floor. Vash walks over to his hand and picks it up, and shows where it was chopped off. * Vash: My right left arm is totally made of metal. Tora: You bastered! You could have told me sooner! Harle: Didn't you see ze sparks shooting out his arm? Tora: ... Aisha: *Looks over to May.* You ok? May: *Covering her eyes* Vash: May, are you ok? Aisha: Here, I'll see what's wrong with the squirt. *Picking up May, Aisha tried to look at Mays' face, but she is still covering her face. * Vash: Aisha, can you bring May over here. I need some help. *Aisha walks over to Vash with May in hand. * Aisha: What the hell do you want with May? Vash: May, oh May. Can you help me with this mess. May: *Slowly removes her hands from her face * Well...ok. *After completely removing her hands from her face, she opened her eyes. That's when Vash shoved his severed arm in her face.* May: *Her face turns light green * It's so disgusting! Harle: Why? Zere're only sparks, cut power cables, twisted metal rods, and some micro chips barely hanging on. *This was all that was needed to get May REALLY sick. * May: *Her face becomes dark green* I don't... Aisha: *Eye's widen, then looks at Tora * Here you go Tora! *Aisha forces May into Toras' hands. Tora looked kind of confused. * Tora: Why did you...? *May suddenly throws up all over Tora* Tora: AHHHHHH! NOOOOOO! NOT AGAIN! *Everyone was surprised as you might think. Sans Aisha of cource.* Aisha: *In an innocent tone.* Wow, I didn't know she could throw up. Vash: Yeah. Akane: Look at her go. Harle: Where is all coming from? *The others just watched in awe as she kept going, and going, and going. She was like the energizer bunny of vomit. And it was going all over Tora.* Akane: You know, I'm not feeling so well not so well myself. Tora: *Still being vomited on.* MAKE MAY STOP! Harle: Take her over to ze sink you fool! *Tora quickly moved May over to the sink. Harle moved over to hold her hair back. * Tora: Would someone take this little puke machine? Akane: *sighs* I'll take her. *So Akane went over and took over for Tora. Tora, looked over himself to make sure that he wasn't loosing his hair again. Then he walked into the hallway. Perhaps to take bath? I can't say. For if I did I would have to kill you...well I'd just mock you for YOU KNEW SOMETHING! * Tora: *Sticks his head in the doorway* I'm taking a shower. *Leaves to take shower. * *LET THE MOCKING BEGIN...but I don't feel like it now. Now about that time that old Jace showed up, and about the time that May stopped being sick. * Jace: Hi guys! What's going on? *Looking around the room, he saw things. * Jace: Hey Vash, you look different. Did you lose weight? Wait! You cut your hair. Looks good. Vash: Well, I did lose pound or two. Aisha: He had his hand chopped off, you ass. Jace: Oh! Well... *Looks over at May.* MAY! *Jace rushes over to her side. * Jace: May, what happened to you? Did you look at the lemon? May: I'll be ok Jace. It's just looking at Vashs' severed arm made me sick. Jace: Well, I'll put you to bed till you fill better. My bed will... * At the speed of Clan-Clan, Aisha moved over to Vash, stole his severed hand, moved over to Jace, and bitch slapped him three times with Vashs' severed arm. * Aisha: Jackass! Jace: * Gets knocked out * Akane: Sorry guys. Dinner is definitely ruined. You will all have to fend for yourselves tonight. Aisha: *Holding back a smile* Damn. Well, you go take May and give her a bath, ok? Jace/Vash: *Jace instantly awakes and stands up, while Vash moves right beside Jace. * We'll do it! Aisha: NO! * Aisha bitch slaps both Vash and Jace with Vash's own hand. Both are K.O'ed by this. * *At this point May finally stops pukeing.* Harle: *Sighs* Monsure Links was never this much trouble. Aisha: * Cracks a wicked smile * I just got one hell of an idea. Help me out Harle. Akane, you go and give May her bath. Akane: *A little confused* Ok, lets go May. May: *She speaks weakly* Ok Akane. *Akane and May leave to take a shower.* Aisha: *Giggles evily* *Next day, say about 8:00 a.m. We find Jace and Vash still laying on the floor of the kitchen. Vash is laying face up, while Jace, was laying face down on Vashs' crotch. This wouldn't have been so bad except for the fact that Vashs' button and zipper was undone and wide open. Also, Vash was just wearing a bra. Both of their faces are covered in makeup. Jace was holding a dildo in one hand, a whip in the other, and Vash's severed hand was clamped firmly on Jaces' ass. Quietly, Aisha sneaks in, picks Jace up, and carries him to the living room. * Aisha: Jace? Wake up Jace. Jace: * No response* Aisha: *Shakes Jace violently * Wake up you moron! Jace: *Groggily hugs Aisha* I love you. Aisha: * Pulls Jace off* Me and every other girl on the Satellite. Now be quite, Hamtaro is starting. *15 minuets into the program, and still no girl on girl action yet. * Jace: I don't know why Hamtaro just doesn't jump into her panties, and get the sexual tension over with. Aisha: *sweat drop* You never had a girl friend, have you? Jace: Yeah, but one day she deflated. Aisha: Figures. * A couple of minutes pass and Aisha is starting to look annoyed. Why you ask? Well it's because Jace hasn't noticed the makeup on his face yet and the other stuff that was on or stained on his clothes. So she decided to do something about it. * Aisha: Hey Jace, you got something on your face. Jace: * Checks with his finger* Hey, your right. It looks like makeup. You have a mirror? Aisha: *Snickers* Yeah, here. *Aisha hands Jace the mirror. Jace takes a long look into it. His eyes go wide and his jaw drops a little. * Jace: Aisha, did you do this? Aisha: *busts into laughter* Jace: Well....I love it! Aisha: *Face fault* What!? Jace: I like how the eyeliner brings out the color of my eyes. You did good job. Aisha: Well it was hard finding a lip stick color and a blush...hey! *Aisha reaches into her pocket and pulls something out. * Aisha: Well if you like that surprise then you'll love these. *Aisha hands Jace several pictures. As Jace looks at the pictures he looked as if someone thew a mini generator while he was taking a bath. * Jace: Where did you get these pictures!? I thought I destroyed them all. I was so young and very drunk at the time. He meant nothing to me, I swear! I never would have taken Yoga if I thought I'd be those kinds of possessions! Aisha: *Looking confused* What the hell are you babbling about? We took these last night! Jace: *Looking closer at the pictures. * Oh, that's Vash. Though I'm relieved, I'm still disturbed. So what do you plan to do with them, and how did you get us in that possession? Aisha: Don't know, I'll have to think about it. We used some butter, glue, rubber bands, and a lot of fishing line. * Silence fills the room as the commercial flash across the screen.* Aisha: You do look pretty. Jace: I feel pretty. *Suddenly Pyrons' face appears on the screen. * Pyron: Time...*Sees Jace * What the hell happened to you? Jace: Oh, well I fell into Harles' makeup case while I was going though her underwear drawer. Pyron: Then what are you sitting on? *Jace reaches down and feels Vashs' hand still clamped on his ass.* Jace: Uh, a severed arm. Pyron: * shakes his head* Whatever. I here to tell you that your lemon will start soon. Aisha: *Stands up* What?! It's way too early for lemons! Batch's voice: It gets worse cat bitch. It's another Lust Virus lemon. The forth one to be precise. Aisha: But Pyron said... Pyron: I lied you moron. Aisha: *Extremely pissed off* I'll rip you two apart! Glucose's voice: Hey Jace, you look really pretty in that makeup. Batch's voice: Actually, you do look pretty. Jace: I feel pretty. Pyron: ...Anyway, we need one more for the lemon. Jace: Vash is passed out in the kitchen. Pyron: That's fine. By the end of the day your wills will be mine! * Monitor turns off * Aisha: Well fuck. Jace: I'll get Vash. *A little bit later Jace, Aisha, and the sleeping Vash wait in the living room. * Aisha: When the hell is the lemon going to start? *As if the lemon gods answered her question with "Here it is ass licker!", the lemon sign went off. * Jace: It's time! *Cloud Strife's Buster Sword* *6, Tracy being eaten alive by Tora. * *5, Hexadecimal and Dameon fighting. * *4, Gohan giving the final blast to cell with Goku's sprit behind him.* *3, Super Smash Bros.: Melee screen pic. * *2, All the girls from Chrono Trigger and Cross-sans clothing. * *1, A sign reading "Warning: Lemon can cause Blindness and Death".* >It's time! Jace: Hey, the lemon copied me! > You knew it was coming... Aisha: Like an out of control car heading toward a very deep gorge. >there have been many before it, but none such like this! Jace: A good, clean, and wholesome lemon. > It is...the Ranma 1/2 lemon!!! Aisha: Great. Jace, wake up Vash. Jace: Ok. My god, it's the biggest doughnut in the world! Vash: *Wakes up* DOUGHNUT!? Jace: No, a lemon. Vash: *Looks around * Oh doggie butter. > BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Vash: It seems the author is hopped up on the drugs. > By the way, for those who have not seen Ranma, it is a slightly >ecchi, semi-romantic series with lots of boobs. Jace: What anime isn't? >Naturally there have been huge amounts of Ranma lemons, but Aisha: (author) None that made you want to want to scratch your eyes out and drink acid like this one will. >I'm guessing none like this. For one thing, almost no one features >Nabiki...and she's the prettiest! (ever seen her in a bikini? Yow!) Jace: Oh yeah, I bet that her one wish in life is to be a star in a lemon. >Oh yeah, a quick review of who's cursed in this thing. Everyone >changes to their cursed form when hit with cold water, and >changes back to their original form when splashed with hot water. >Ranma changes into a very pretty redhead (with large tits, no less) Vash: A bisexual's dreams come true. >Ryoga changes into a small black pig (P-chan) Mousse changes >into a duck, Shampoo changes into a cat, and Genma Saotome >(Ranma's father) changes into a panda. Aisha: And Linda Blair changes into the hopping woman. >I'd do a review on the 98 characters, but it sure as shit wouldn't be quick. Jace: Like this lemon. >Oh yeah, oddly enough, this particular series was requested by Vash: By the "Red Cross" and "Wemon Against Breast Cancer". >Burn-it and Blackheart745 right in the middle of me writing it, so >how's that for a coincidence? Now that you know, on with the lemon! ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Vash: You have to be this tall to watch this lemon. > Ranma 1/3 (I thought up this title all by myself! Yay me!) ~OR~ >The Case of the Masturbating Panda Aisha: Remnant of a Rocky and Bullwinkle ending. >It was a beautiful day somewhere in Tokyo, Jace: Godzilla humping Tokyo Tower, tentacle monsters invading all girl schools, Gundums smoking joints with ultra strong school girls wearing tight uniforms and normal girls wearing super armor, and cat girls where hornier than ever. >but in the setting for this story, brewing beneath the surface was something so dark, so >sinister, so evil, grown men did not dare speak its name!!! Vash: It was...HIM! > It was...an underground Xbox factory!!! Jace: NOOOOOOO! Aisha: Don't you have a Xbox? Jace: Only for DOA: Extreme Volleyball. > Several hundred yards above that factory was a warehouse, and inside that warehouse >was a pink fluffy bunny! Really! Vash: The cousin of the white rabbit from the Monty Python and The Holy Grail. >Dr. Lustidick was eating it! How about that? Aisha: You mean this bastered hasn't been killed yet. > Naturally, when Ms. Jugglesworth walked in and saw this, she was very surprised, Vash: And horny. Jace: She loves a man that eats rabbits. > to say the least. "Doctor, what the hell are you doing?!" Aisha: (Lustidick) W-w-well I was cleaning it's cage and one thing led to another. >she shouted. Dr. Lustidick looked up from his cute pink bunny and said, >"What are you talking about?" Vash: (Lustidick) There is no bunny. Aisha: (Thumper) Help me Bambi! > Then Ms. Jugglesworth saw it was a chocolate Easter bunny and said "Never mind..." >After that she resolved to beat him over the head with several large objects. Aisha: But we haven't. >"So what are we doing here instead of the DBZ universe WHERE WE BELONG?!?!" >The good doctor just stared at her. The fact that her coat was open and she wasn't >wearing a bra was part of it. Jace: Speaking of which, your bra is showing, Vash. Vash: *looks down* Thanks...what the hell!? I don't need a bra! Aisha: You mean you just noticed now? Here, look at this. *hands Vash a picture* Vash: How did you get this picture?! Look, Wolfwood and I got hold of this 200 proof whiskey, and the next thing... Aisha: That's Jace you moron! Vash: OH! Then wow... Jace: Well Aisha dolled us up, put us in some "possessions", and took pictures of us all while we where knocked out. Vash: *Eyes really wide open* What?! Jace: Oh, you'll be needing this. *Pulls Vashs' arm off of his ass and handed back to Vash.* Vash: Ok. *takes his hand back* So, who's this belong too? *points to the bra.* Aisha: We got it from Akane. Vash: *Takes the bra off and puts it in his pocket. * Oh, I see. >"You do know the man you're after is married?" "When the hell has that ever stopped us?" >she pointed out. The doctor thought for a moment. "Quite. In any case, I've selected the >next target for the virus." "Doctor, why are we even here?" "Ms. Jugglesworth, this is >the first *normal* anime universe we've come across. The odds of the people here rising >up to stop us are a million to one." "Doctor, it's an ANIME universe! When have they ever >been normal?!" Jace: *Looks over at Aisha then at Vash* They have a point. Aisha: Oh, like you're the picture of normalcy. >The doctor thought again. Vash: But the blue screen of death appeared, so he had to reboot. >This was becoming a troublesome activity. "Good point. But THIS one will help us >realize our dreams!" Jace: (Lustidick) Of owning my own Chevy Vega. >"It'll help me get Vegeta to tie me up and have his way with me?" the excited >assistant asked. Aisha: If he had his way he'd just blast both of you. > "Er...possibly," the doctor replied. "But most importantly, it will allow us to take over Vash: (Lutsidick) Hannson! > the world!!!" The doctor put down his chocolate bunny and went back to stirring the >beaker with the Lust Virus. "So who's the target this time?" Ms. Jugglesworth asked, >resigning herself to another evening of self-gratification. Jace: Welcome to my world. > I saw on the way back from the market." "You couldn't think of >anyone more cliché, could > you?" Aisha: In retrospect, aren't they all school girls? Vash: We'll see for ourselves in the other Lust Virus lemons. >"Pardon?" Jace: (Jigglesworth) You set yourself on fire again. >"Nothing..." Suddenly, the door to the warehouse swung open, and a guy in a yellow shirt >and tiger-striped bandanna burst in shouting Jace: Penis slut ass plug mother fucker spank that hoe! Vash/Aisha: O.O >"Ranma Saotome, I've finally found you!!!" The doctor and Ms. >Jugglesworth just stared at >him. Vash: Daggers instantly flew from their eye's stabbed him in the chest. >"Who in the hell are you?" the assistant asked. "Um..." Aisha: (Ryoga) I'm your god, bitch! Jace: And you think what I said was weird. >Ryoga took a quick look around. Jace: And broke his neck. >"This...isn't the Tendo dojo, is it?" The lab equipment and mad scientist made him doubt >it was. "No, it isn't," Dr. Lustidick told him. "It's ten blocks west of here." >"Oh...thank you, sir." Ryoga turned around and walked out of the warehouse, promptly >turned east, and started walking. Vash: Poor directionless bastered. >"That is one strange boy..." Ms. Jugglesworth mumbled to herself. "I wonder if he's >single?" Dr. Lustidick quickly forgot that temporary distraction and quickly Aisha: Turned into a marlin. >pointed the Lust Virus to Vash: To the Bat Cave! >the door. Then he had to scrape it off the wall after it tried to follow Ryoga and go >east...while still inside the warehouse. Aisha: Lazy bastared of a Virus. >After yelling at it and saying very impolite things about its mother, the doctor threw it >out the door and sent it off on its way. Jace: Wow, just like my Dad. >*** Vash: In California, the author can get a life sentence now. >It was a beautiful day in...hmm...where does Ranma live again? *checks fan site* Oh, >Nerima. Jace: That's where Lum's crew live as well. Vash: Imagine the hell that could happen if the Ranma group, the Lum group, and this Virus all crossed paths. All: *Shutters * >Okay, it was a beautiful day in Nerima. Akane was walking home from school alone, since >Ranma had gone ahead to chase after Happosai (who will not be appearing in this lemon!) All: YAY! >Akane didn't notice Jace: Nataru ready to pounce. >the Lust Virus far above the city, watching, waiting, Aisha: Drinking Vash: Urinating Jace: Spooging >searching for its target. Then it got bored and attacked Akane. Aisha: Next on 'When Lust Virus's Attack'! >Akane saw the speeding virus flying at her, but it was in the path of the sun, and she >thought it was P-chan... Vash: But it was really the Outlaw Star. Asiha: Damnit Gean, stop looking at the naked chick in the glass tank! >right up until it jumped into her mouth and squiggled down her throat. Then she was >pretty sure it wasn't P-chan. Then the virus took over her hormone centers and went to >work producing enough pheromones to drive any male wild. Jace: Not just human males either. She making animals, insects, trees, and even one-celled organisms horny. > Now Akane was positive it wasn't P-chan, but then again, she was too horny to care. >*** Meanwhile, Vash: In a place called Perfect, lemons don't exist. [{Guess the commercial and win a pair of Aisha's or Jace's panties}] >Ranma had just lost track of Happosai (if you really wanna know, All: Oh we must, we must. >the fucker got creamed by a truck. Well, not really, but it's my story, so I get to >brutally murder whoever I want). Aisha: Then murder away! >He was just walking home, minding his own business, when SUDDENLY!!! Jace: I love that word. >Nothing happened. All: *Face fault * >Mind you, Vash: This is all crap. >that was incredibly surprising to Ranma. Minding his own business was usually followed >by Shampoo glomping onto him, Ryoga or Mousse attacking him, or Godzilla asking to >borrow a fiver. Aisha: Godzilla just spends the money on lap dances anyway. >Ranma began to think it was his lucky day! And about time, too! Why shouldn't he deserve >a nice, peaceful afternoon in the sun? All: Yeah. >Why should he be relentlessly dogged by misfortune? All: Yeah! >Why shouldn't he enjoy himself?! All: YEAH! >Yes, this would be a good day! All: HELL YEAH! >Then it started raining. All: D'OH! Jace: Sounds like us, don't it? >Ranma probably could've heard the god of irony laughing if she wasn't so pissed. Asiha: The god of irony sounds like Steven Hawkings. > She dejectedly Jace: Aisha, what dat word mean? Aisha: Uh...um..It means 'having her period'. >walked home in the rain, water dripping down her tits (he's a girl now. Rain is cold. >Well, it is!) Vash: Really? Well, how informative. >For the sake of speeding up the lemon (along with time itself) Jace: My god! He did speed up time. It's was 8:40 a.m. when entered , and , by my watch, it's 11:38 p.m.! Vash: *looks at Jace's watch* Your watch has stopped. Jace: He stopped time instead!! Aisha: Nit wit. >Ranma soon arrived home. Kasumi greeted him at the door with a towel and a few kind >words about always looking for the silver Vash: Dildo. >whatsits in the cloud Jace: Whore. >thingy. Nabiki, on the other hand, Aisha: Started to spank Ranma. Vash/Jace: What? Aisha: I need to get it out of my system every once in a while too. >held her trademark apathy. "You should know by now, Ranma," she said, "in your life, a >lot of rain must fall." Ranma glared at her. Vash: (Ranma) In your life, a lot of beatings will come from me. >"Gee, thanks, Nabiki. I'll keep that in mind." "Just thought you should know," Nabiki >said as she went back to reading her Jace: Necronomiccon >magazine. Ranma ignored Nabiki and went to her room, still dripping slightly. She didn't >notice Akane walk in, also dripping wet. Vash: By now, it's in a different place than what he's talking about. >Now for a brief interlude showing what happened to Akane! Briefly Aisha: She got horny, fucked, the end. >after the Lust Virus invaded her body, it lay siege to her hormone production centers. >Naturally the hormones fought back, but the >siege prevented the easy flow of red blood >cells and 7-Up Jace: and tiny vibrators. >to the hormones, and the siege was quickly over. With Akane under the influence of the Vash: Dr. Who. > Lust Virus, there were some... problems. For starters, her idea of a romantic event >started changing, as illustrated here: holding hands *ding* All: Huh? Aisha: Is breakfast ready now? >kissing *ding* Jace: (Announcer) Let the match begin >admitting your love *ding* Vash: Is there a bell involved with this process? > making love *ding* Aisha: Not even my idea of a romantic event lasts this long. >fucking the bastard's cock off. Vash: Isn't that the same as the one before? Aisha: Not in lemon terms. >There was one more *ding*, but it isn't appropriate for anyone with a pulse. Jace: Looks like it's appropiate for you, Vash. Vash: Give my hand back! *Takes back his severed arm * >Anyway, she began walking home, plotting, planning, scheming, Aisha: Twirling her mustache and laughing evilly. >and rubbing her pussy through her panties. Jace: (Pussy) Stop petting me, and let me out! > Upon arriving at the Tendo household, she spied Ranma walking off, towel in hand, and >suddenly...! *** "Wait a minute!" Dr. Lustidick exclaimed. Vash: (Lustidick) Your not James Brown! > "What about the Packers game?" "There is no game today, doctor," Ms. Jugglesworth told >him. Aisha: (Jugglesworth) They where all arrested. >"Oh..." The doctor was silent for a moment. "FUCKING PACKERS!!!" Jace: Why doesn't he just infect them with the Lust Virus if he hates them so much? It would interesting to see what happens on the field. Vash: Nah, he doesn't hate them, he actually likes them. It's a love-hate relationship with him. >Ms. Jugglesworth just groaned in disgust... Aisha: I'm glad he wrote disgust. > Damned if they play, damned if they don't, huh? *** Er, sorry about that, I couldn't >think of a good segue to get back to the Tendo house. Wait...I just wrote a decent >one...oh, fuck it! * The three look at each other in confusion * Aisha: What the hell is this? Jace: Did he suddenly get ADD? Vash: I actually expected better from this author. >Akane was inside! Ranma was going to her room! Aisha: Tendo was wearing shoes! Vash: Tofu was poking people! Jace: Panda was humping! *Whap!* Aisha: Don't jump ahead. >There, we're back on track, Vash: Headed to a destroyed bridge. >fuckdammit! Jace: Slackbitch! >Now sit down and shut up, we're getting to the damn sex already! Aisha: Don't start on our account. >*ahem* Anyway. Vash: They all where suddenly raped by wild donuts. * Whap! * >The Lust Virus hadn't taken over completely, as it was a lazy fuck, Aisha: Like the author. >so Akane wasn't charging after anyone. She did, however, have the distinct urge to strip >down Ranma and lick him all over. Jace: Who doesn't. Others: * Stares at Jace * Jace: *Sweat drop * > Er, her. Jace: Yeah, her! Aisha: *Sarcastically * Sure. >Whatever. Vash: It's the theme of this lemon. >At this point, Akane wasn't about to discriminate. Akane slunked Jace: Like a slinky going down the Tibetan monastery steps. [{A clue to the reference: It was in a movie writen by Steve Oedekerk}]