>Irregardless, Jace: The lemon goes on until the end of time. >Shampoo was now standing in front of Tora: A black market weapons shop. Harle: (Shampoo) I end it now. >Ukyo's shop, Harle: Wow, I didn't know she sold black market explosives. Jace: She's a girl of many talents. >naked underneath the trenchcoat. Then the trenchcoat was removed, Tora: By the Japanese mob. >and damn, was she ever naked! Ukyo dropped the Jace: Hammer on the author. >broom in shock, both from being flashed and from the realization that she was holding a Jace: Rare, 1st addition, Urusei Yatsura comic. Tora: (Ukyo) Fame, wealth, power, and money! It's all mine. MINE I SAY! >broom instead of her spatula. Shampoo dashed forward and Harle: Brought a extended warranty >tackled Ukyo, sending the both of them tumbling into the bar. Harle: Right onto the grill. Tora: Yum, grilled humans. >Before Ukyo could recover, Tora: She died. >Shampoo got up and locked the doors, naturally putting the "Closed" sign in the window, >then jumped on Ukyo again Jace: And did some major dental reconstruction. > (she's fast, ain't she?) Harle: Like a speed addict after 37 cups of coffee. > Well, keeping up with that speed, Jace: She gave Ukyo a sex change operation. *WHAP!* >Shampoo managed to rip off Ukyo's clothes faster than you can say Tora: Bad lemon. > "sex kitten!" Go on, say it. Jace: (Sex kitten) You all leave me the hell out of this! >Hah! Too late, her clothes are off! Ha-hah! All: ... Harle: And why zis guy is not in a straight jacket. > Well, anyway, Ukyo was reaching for her spatula when Shampoo felt up her Jace: Sex kitten? >cunt, then the okonomiyaki girl Harle: Burst in. Tora: (Okonomiyaki girl) I'm here to put a stop to this bad lemon! Okonomiyaki ho! Jace: (Author) We WILL meet again, Okonomiyaki girl! > blushed a deep maroon. I have no idea if that's physically possible, but then again, >when has that ever stopped me? Tora: It will one day, and with a very large rock. >Anyway! Shampoo was fingering Ukyo, and Ukyo was still reaching for her spatula which >was just out of her reach (ain't that the way?) Jace: Seems it's more like out of the way. *Whap! Whap!* Tora: Two for knowing that was bad. > Shampoo began fondling her breasts, and Ukyo let out a gasp of pleasure. That gasp >transformed into Tora: Cymouns, evil god of lust and cookies. Jace: Cookies? Tora: Yep, he's really likes his cookies. > a moan, and then into a scream of rapture! I learned a new word! Good for me! Harle: Whatever makes you end zis lemon faster. >About now, Jace: Rumiko Takahashi stands outside the author's house. Harle: (Rumiko Takahashi) It ends here. Go Godzilla! >Ukyo finally grabbed her spatula and was about to whack Shampoo over the head with it, >when suddenly, Jace: My favorite word. >Shampoo kissed her! Damn, so close, huh? Shampoo soon broke >the kiss, and Ukyo whacked >her over the head with the spatula. >Hey, what can I say, it takes longer than that to >take effect. Tora: Not exactly what happened in the first one >Well, now Shampoo's out cold, and Ukyo's about two seconds >away from being horny enough >to fuck a goat. Or maybe...wait! Harle: Fat Bastard. >Ukyo looked at Shampoo, then looked at herself, and whacked >herself over the head with >the spatula! All: YAY! > Bet you didn't see that coming, huh? Huh!? Well, anyway, Ukyo crawled out from under >Shampoo and grabbed a bottle of soy sauce from the counter. She poured a generous amount >on the handle of the spatula, that flat part you flip stuff with, and Shampoo's crotch. >Don't worry, I'm going somewhere with this. Tora: That's one of the reasons why your testicles will be ripped from you, mashed into a paste, and forced fed to you! Jace: Well-said, Tora. >Ukyo lowered her head in between Shampoo's legs and started licking her prone pussy. Tora: (Uyko) Mmm, needs wasabi. Jace: (Pussy) Damn moron! Your slut is over their, you twat! >Shampoo moaned slightly in her sleep as Ukyo pretty much tongue-raped her viciously. Harle: (Lucky the leprechaun) Viciously delicious! >The soy sauce gave Shampoo's pussy a nice zing, Tora: Like acid. >and her juices turned it into a sweet and sour type of deal. Harle: (Ukyo) With zese juices, Moi will be rich! >Ukyo thought of going for the wasabi, but that would've been overkill. She kept licking, Tora: All the way to the bubble gum center. Jace: (Ukyo) Wow, wasabi flavor. >adding more soy sauce when the flavor started to go flat. Jace: Nothing that Fix-a-flat can't handle. >During all this, Shampoo was writhing in pleasure, but still very much unconscious. Harle: Hooray for unconsciousness! >Finally Shampoo's body shook and she climaxed, just as Ukyo ran out of soy sauce! How's >that for convenience? Well, now Ukyo's both horny and hungry, so she grabbed her spatula >and headed off into the streets Tora: (Ukyo) Time to find the Ginger Bread Man. > for a quick fuck. Speaking of which, let's see what happened to Ranma, seeing as she's >the star of the show and all. *** Harle: Only three brain cells will remain after viewing this lemon. >Ranma is, as we all know, naked and horny and out in Nerima. Jace: (Ranma) Forests, a castle, fresh air? Where the hell am I? Tora: (Lion) Welcome to... Jace: Yeah, great. I need to fuck someone. Boy, girl, you, or all at the same time. Tora: (Lion) ...I knew I should have eaten the first two humans that came here. [If you know what the hell I'm talking about, then I salute you.] >Well, not so naked, as she managed to find an old coat in the trash. Unfortunately the >Lust Virus was having trouble inside her, Harle: Roaming gangs of tapeworms bully the Lust Virus. >since Ranma kept getting splashed with warm and cold water Jace: (Ranma) What the fuck is up with this weather? >and changing back from a boy to a girl and vice-versa, and now the poor thing was very >confused. Tora: So it started attacking itself. Harle: (Lust Virus) Janet Reno must die! >Fortunately it finally figured out a way to keep everything in balance, Jace: Oh shit. Harle: You don't mean... Tora: No, no, no, NO! > and Ranma lost the urge to hump the trash can. Harle: Trashcans usually have STD's anyway. Zere total sluts. >Unfortunately (Ranma's got bad luck!) Tora: As do we. > Tatewaki Kuno just happened to show up, entirely by >circumstance, a coincidence, really. Jace: (Kuno) My pigtail girl senses tell me to go this way. >Anyway, Kuno saw Ranma, then ran up and prepared to sweep her off her feet. Harle: Now crush ze bitches windpipe wiz ze wooden sword! Jace: *Sweat drop* You feeling ok? Harle: I'll get better after I get out of here, or after I kill someone. Jace: Um...if you want to kill me, smother me with your breasts. They're my only weakness. >"Pig-tailed girl!" the psycho (Kuno, whatever...) shouted. He dashed up to her and >whipped out Jace: his woody... *WHAM!* Jace: Woodpecker. Tora/Harle:... > a book of poetry, then recited an obscure line from Hamlet (like I remember that shit). >"Kuno..." Ranma said slowly, "I can't resist! Tora: (Ranma) The power of cheese. >I must give myself to you now! Right now, right here!" Kuno was, of course, Harle: Very stupid. > very surprised. But also very glad. "Oh, Pig-tailed girl! You don't know how long I've >waited to Jace: (Kuno) Buy cocaine from the pimp who lives down the street. >hear you say that!" "Well, come and get it, Kuno baby!" Tora: Suddenly, Ranma whipped out two AK-47, and started to shoot at everything. >And with that, Ranma opened her Harle: Chest cavity to reveal ze attack gnomes! Jace: *Ranma* Mine my pretties, mine! Tora: *sweat drop* > coat and revealed...A GREAT BIG DICK!!! Tora/Harle: NOOOOOOO! Jace: It's ok, I bet he's kidding. >AND NO, I'M *NOT* KIDDING!!! Jace: Damnit! *WHAM! WHAP!* Tora: Damn you Jace, for giving us false hope! >BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *ahem* Now, Tora: To REALLY fuck this lemon up. >when Kuno saw this penis on the female form, he was...well, picture a screaming Kuno >ala Homer Simpson Harle: So Kuno morphed into Homer? >to this: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Jace: Hey, it's the idiot's alphabet. >AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA >AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Tora: Someone better be falling off a fucking cliff. >AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA >AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Harle: (Dentist) I'm done damnit. So shut your fucking mouth already. >H Jace: Goodie, another letter. >HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH >HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Tora: WHY WON'T IT END!? Harle: Not having a life gives him time to hold a button down for hours on end. >HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH >HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Yep. Lots of screaming there. Tora: and here too. >That one exclamation point Harle: Is really the 'Frozen Flame'. >was supposed to signify that he fell unconscious, but that sure as shit didn't work out. Jace: Because everyone knows that the sound 'Thud' was the right way to signify someone falling unconscious. >Anyway, Ranma was wondering Tora: (Ranma) Doesn't Lemon law #3 apply here? > why Kuno *didn't* want to fuck her after lusting after her for so long, then she noticed >the GBD Harle: Please let it mean 'Godzilla's Best Doberman'. > (Great Big Dick). All: BASTARD! > She gasped out loud, then dashed home like a madman with an erection. Harle: Reminds me about ze time Jace came zrough ze living room wet, naked, and erect. Jace: Look, if Aisha hadn't thrown me out while I was taking a shower... Tora: I remember that. Aisha was pissed because Jace was in there for an hour. Harle: What where you doing in zer for an hour? Jace: *Blushes and looks down at the ground* Nothing. Tora: And why where you using the shower in the hallway instead of the one in your room? Jace: *Sweat drop* Well, let's get back to the lemon. > Or...madwoman, whatever. *** Where was Ranma going? Jace: To find wizard of OZ. Tora: (Ranma) Where's Dorothy? I need some cunt, motherfucker. >Well, first let's move back to the Tendo dojo, where...oh my, >Ukyo's there! And so's Nabiki! And...Nabiki's reciting her list of >services to Ukyo! Oh my! Harle: Rabid dogs have broken into ze house started ripping into everyone zear. >Can you tell I'm Tora: Stupid? Harle: High? Jace: A Wanking Monkey? >making this up on the spot? Who cares! "Now, since you're not family, I'm gonna have to >charge you extra," Nabiki stated, Harle: (Nabiki) Of course zere's ze lesbian fee, ze spatula fee, ze fee for fucking in our house, a Ukyo fee, a Lemon fee, and zen we add the sex tax. >"but with the profits your okonomiyaki shop has made, I'm sure >it'll be within your price >range." Naturally Ukyo just wanted to fuck. "Yeah, yeah, just get in there and get your >clothes off!" All: SLUT! >Who says romance is dead? Tora: It better be, I tore it's fucking head off over five hundred years ago. >Right at that exact moment, (is anyone timing this?) Ranma ran up to the dojo, still >clad in that ratty old coat, and screamed, "HEY!!!" Jace: Is for a small man named Tim. > "Ranma, honey!" Ukyo exclaimed, using the cheesy dub pet name. She ran up to glomp >him, but Ranma ducked away from her. "What's wrong, Ranma?" (no more cheesy dub pet >name, by the way). Harle: (Author) But plenty of cheesy sex on its way. >Ranma chuckled, her new cock throbbing for pussy. Her pussy was throbbing as well, by >the way. Tora: Infection had set in. >There was lots of throbbing. "Nothing's wrong, in fact, >everything's all right again!" Jace: (Ranma) So Flan for everyone! > She whipped open the coat, Tora: And Waldo was finaly found. >giving full view of the GBD to all present! "Holy hell!!" Ukyo screamed. "Oh my..." Nabiki said quietly. Harle: (Ukyo) Where the hell did you get that. Tora: (Ranma) I stole it from Nintendo Headquarters. It's the new Game Boy Dalmatian! >"Who gots da penis? I gots da penis! Yeah, baby!" That was Ranma, and I'm not even going >to tell you what she's doing right now, Tora: He's fucking himself. *WHAM!* Harle: Zat was wrong on SO many levels. >it's too annoying. Nabiki listened to Ranma's singing for about five seconds, then walked >up to her and kicked her in the balls Tora: FEEL OUR PAIN HE-BITCH! >(she's got those now, y'know). Anyway! Jace: Back to the orgy of testicle kicking! >After Ranma got over the intense and agonizing pain, she and Ukyo began bargaining. >Bargaining...for sex!!! Harle: Ze zree exclamation marks must mean zat ze Author is dead. > Um........right. So Nabiki was reading from her list of services... "Now, Jace: (Nabiki) Right now I'm having a special on my "Dirty, DIRTY GIRL!" package. > since Ukyo's not family, I'm going to have to charge her extra, and given Ranma's >current 'situation,' that'll have to be added on as well. Tora: Is the 'situation' she's talking about Ranmas' penis or the money that Ranma owes Nabiki? Jace: Knowing Nabiki, it's both. >So your total comes to..." Harle: (Nabiki) Ten point eight trillion yen, and a Game Boy Dalmatian. >"Yeah, yeah," Ranma interrupted, "Just tell us the total later!" "Yeah, yeah," Ranma >interrupted, "Just tell us the total later!" Nabiki grinned at that. This was like giving >a blank check to...well, to Nabiki. As the dollar (yen) signs rolled around in Nabiki's >head, Jace: Then the yen signs break threw Nabikis' skull. Harle: (Yen sign) We're free! >they went inside and up to her room, Jace: (Yen sign) Sweet room! Tora: (Yen sign) All right, panty drawer score! >sans clothing on Ranma and Ukyo's part. And hoo-baby, they >sure surprised Kasumi! Harle: (Kasumi) Ranma! Tora: (Ranma) Wait! I can... Harle: (Kasumi) None of you are going to eat? Jace: (Kabiki) We're...going to eat in our room. >Okay, bedroom. Jace: (Bedroom) All right! My chance to shine! > As soon as Nabiki closed the door, both Ukyo and Ranma tackled her and they all landed >on the bed. Ukyo was already naked, and Ranma had tossed away her coat, so that just >left Nabiki. She was about to do another strip show when Ranma and Ukyo descended on >her like horny locusts. Harle: *Sarcastically* Now zat's a pretty picture. Jace: (Horny Locusts) This corns cunt is tight! Tora: (Farmer) Stop humping my corn! Jace: (Horny Locusts) Look everyone, a sexy farmer! Tora: (Tora) Oh shit. >They quickly stripped her with no regard for foreplay (like that >matters anymore). >They laid Nabiki down on her back and Ukyo >quickly climbed up and lowered her pussy >on Nabiki's face. Tora: Pussy Choker: The Vaginal Assassin. >Meanwhile, Ranma spread Nabiki's legs and licked her briefly, then thrust the GBD into >her waiting snatch. Nabiki moaned into Ukyo's pussy and Jace: Herd her echo. >continued licking, feeling Ranma's cock sliding in and out of her vagina. At this point >the Lust Virus got reinforcements from both Ukyo and Ranma, and between them they Harle: Still lost to the Tapeworm Gang. >were able to total up the amount for the sex packages. Then the three viruses got into a >bitch fight for supremacy. I'm not going to say who won, so just use your imagination. Tora: It was Bob from accounting. >At this point the girls were really getting into the swing of things. Nabiki licked with a >new ferocity, making Ukyo groan in pleasure. Ranma fucked Nabiki like a dickgirl >possessed, moaning at the Jace: Thought of this lemon still going. > tightness of the Tendo sister's pussy. This new penis of hers was much more sensitive >than the one on her male body, and she quickly came, unloading deep in Nabiki's cunt. >Thanks to the Lust Virus, Ranma remained hard again and ready to go! She started fucking >Nabiki a second time, who was now licking Ukyo to her first orgasm. Ukyo began to grind >her crotch against Nabiki's tongue, gently rubbing her own breasts as the tongue against >her clit sent her over the edge. By this time Nabiki was the only one who hadn't cum yet, >and that's a good thing, because she managed to get Ranma off of her and slip away from >Ukyo. Now for the fun part! Harle: *Explodes with anger* Everyone fucking died! You hear zat you cock sucking author! End zis damn lemon! END!!! Jace: Just hold in there Harle. >Nabiki went to her nightstand and pulled out...a furby! Jace: ACK! *The reason Jace made the 'ACK' sound is because Harle is now choking him. Not in the good way either. * >Then she tossed that thing out the window and picked up her >trap-on. "I've always >wanted to try this out," she said with an evil grin. Harle: SOMEONE MUST DIE NOW!! Jace: *Making choking noises* Harle...are you...upset? Harle: *Has a wild look in her eye* MUST KILL AUTHOR! * Harle moves from her seat and straddles Jace, all while she's choking him. Jace starts to get an erection, which really causes him to lose conciseness even faster. You know, blood loss and all. Tora is just sitting there, silently enjoying what was happing. * >A three-inch dildo pointed up on the inside, and she moaned quietly as it went inside >her as she slipped it on. Tora: (Nabiki) Does this make me look fat? Jace: *Losing conciseness* Tora...help? Tora: Your ok. >The rubber cock jutting out from the front was a good eight inches long, almost as big >as Ranma's. At this point, there was a take-no-prisoners attitude in the air. Harle: KILL! *Jaces' eyes start to roll back into his head. * Tora: *Rolls his eyes* All right, you damn pussy. * Tora finally gets off his fuzzy ass, and tries to remove Harles' hands from Jaces' throat. It proved to be a little more challenging that Tora first thought. Tora did, however, manage to loosen Harle's grip enough to return his blood to flow. * >Ranma jumped on Ukyo's shoulders and stuffed the GBD in her mouth, which pulled Ukyo down >to her hands and knees, which gave Nabiki an opening to fuck her pussy. You go, girls! So >anyway, Ukyo was being banged from both ends, Jace: *Being lightly strangled now* And none of them have insurance. >and was desperately trying to keep up with either one of them. Jace: Any time now Tora. Tora: *Sweat drop* ... Jace: You can't, can you? Harle: DIE! Tora: *Big sweat drop* ... *Harle's grip begins to get tighter.* Jace: Then I must summon...HER! *Jace reaches into his pocket, and pulls out none other than a HotPocket. A rumbling can be heard in the distance, and it's getting closer. The doors can be heard being forcefully opened one by one.* Tora: What in the seven levels of hell have you done!? Jace: Well, since the big, bad Tora can't handle a little dark moon dragon goddess; I had to call in the big guns. *Suddenly Harle removes one of her hands, knocking the HotPocket out of Jace's hand, and latches onto Tora's throat. Surprised, Tora grabbed Harle's arm and stepped back, pulling Harle forward. Consequently, her foot crushed the eatable just as the door to the theater opened. Letting our favorite catgirl view the last moment of the pastry. I'm not talking about the one in Shadow's MST either. * Aisha: NOOOO! *Aisha jumps from the doorway to where the others are struggling, tackling them to the ground (even Jace) in effort to save the HotPocket. Aisha quickly moved over to where to the HotPocket to see if it was still eatable. Alas, it's to late for the innocent pizza toping filled pastry. * >Ranma was fucking her face with reckless abandon, while Nabiki was taking her time, >sliding the plastic cock in and out in a nice, even pace. There was a really weird rhythm >going on there, at least till Ranma came for the second time, giving Ukyo a nice, healthy >drink of cum. Nabiki pulled out of Ukyo's cunt, then rubbed the tip of the strap-on >against her tight asshole. Ukyo moaned a protest through Ranma's cock, but you think >anyone's gonna listen at this point? 'course not. Aisha: *A fire blazed in her eyes, as well as tears falling. * Bastards! *With that battle cry Aisha jumped into the others lying on the floor, and proceeded to beat the crap out of them. Of course Tora and the enraged Harle fought back. Imagine one of those cartoon fights, where all you can see is a large cloud of dust and a couple of fists swinging. It was kinda like that.* >Without waiting for approval, Nabiki thrust the first half of the strap-on into Ukyo's >ass, while Ranma pulled her upright and scooted forward, slipping her still-hard cock >into Ukyo's dripping pussy. They began rubbing their breasts together, their hard >nipples causing a delightful friction on their skin. All of a sudden both Nabiki and >Ranma thrust their respective tools in all the way, causing Ukyo to gasp out loud. The >dildo on the inside of Nabiki's strap-on shook inside of her every time she fucked >Ukyo's taut ass, exciting her to no end. *Yes, they are still fighting.* > Meanwhile Ranma was out of her mind with pleasure as Ukyo's pussy squeezed her cock like >Mill squeezes Maze (obscure anime reference, whoever gets it wins a mystery prize). >She began kissing Ukyo, the feeling of their tongues dancing together only heightening >the pleasure. Finally Ranma felt her third orgasm approaching and fucked Ukyo faster and >faster. *Suddenly the lemon [which even I think has gone on WAY to long] was replaced by the awful visage of Pyron. * Pyron: *In surround sound * ENOUGH! *The four stop fighting. Well, by four I mean Tora, Aisha, and Harle stop fighting. Jace was just groping Harle and Aisha the whole time. * Pyron: If you four want to kill each other, do it on your own fucking time! Although your reactions to this lemon are outstanding, it's lemon time now so you'd better read, or I'll just get another crew! *Pyron's face disappears and the Lemon reapers.* Jace: So we get to live? Sweet! Harle: *Holding her head* What in ze hell happened? Jace: Harle doesn't want to kill me anymore? Double sweet! Tora: Harle, you tried to kill Jace and me. Then Aisha started a fight, and that's it. Aisha: Well, since you guys killed the HotPocket, I'll just be leaving. *Aisha goes up to the doors and tries to open it. As hard as she tries though, it doesn't budge a bit. * Aisha: What the fuck? Harle: Ze nanites must have strengzened ze door. Jace: Sorry Aisha, looks like you're here for the rest of the haul. Aisha: SHIT! >Nabiki did the same, Jace: She sat down? Aisha: Fucking two people at once really tires a person out. > and soon all three climaxed simultaneously (or close enough so >you couldn't tell them >apart). They all screamed in unison, Tora: And Ranma was still off key. >Ukyo's holes squeezing the two cocks stuck deep inside. Harle: (Ukyo's Hole) Wait a second. This isn't Orange juce. >Once the pleasure subsided, Aisha: Horrible, mind numbing, gut wrenching, kicked in the balls, and punched in the breasts pain began. >they all collapsed on the floor, tired, spent, and still hopped up on hormones. Jace: And now they have the great taste of bacon. > That means humping in their sleep, people! Harle: So, if zey where humping eachozer in zer sleep, would zat be rape? Aisha: Sure, whatever. > *** So anyway, Dr. Lustidick and Ms. Jugglesworth were still in the dark and scary >warehouse. Tora: It's more like a poorly lit and unnerving wearhouse. >Ms. Jugglesworth had her attention elsewhere, however. "Yes, I'm totally naked," she >said into her cell phone. "Uh-huh. Wow. Yeah, I'm rubbing my breasts. Harle: Too bad Pee-Wee is on ze ozer side. Tora: (Pee-Wee) The secret word for today is Cum-dumpster, HEH-HEH. >Really? That big, huh? Okay, now I'm--" Jace: A WANKING MONKEY! Aisha: You forgot to say "(Jugglesworth)". Jace: *Scratching his head * No, I don't think so. >"Will you stop that?!" Tora: Finally, god decides to step in and take matters into his own hands. > the doc shouted. Harle: (Lustidick) Calgon, take me away! >"I just ate lunch!" Ms. Jugglesworth shot him a look. "Fabio, I have to go. Well, I don't >care if you're all big and ready, the ass--er, the doctor is getting squeamish. Look--no, >look, I have to go. No, I have to go. Fuck off. No. Goodbye." She hung up, and... "Geez, >that guy is needy..." Tora: Her inter-dimensional phone bill must be astronomical. Aisha: I doubt Fabio, in any dimension, would be as needy the author claims to be. >"From now on, I'd appreciate it if you'd keep your phone sex >away from my meals!" Jace: (Meals) You want a piece of me?! Harle: (Phone sex) Anytime bitch! > the doc screeched. He was about to continue screaming about the phone sex and the >Packers when suddenly, a strange man and a >big- breasted brunette burst into the >warehouse! Aisha: It's Tom Green and Marlin Brando! >"Dr. Lustidick!" the man shouted. "I've finally found you!" "Gasp!" Er...the doctor >gasped. "Uh...who's this?" Ms. Jugglesworth asked. Harle: (Lustidick) It's ze Author! Tora: (Author) Thought you could escape the lemon, did you? > "I am Dr. Lustidick's greatest rival!" Jace: It's Dr. Evil! >the man said, somewhat proudly. "And I am his assistant!" the >brunette cackled. Finally >the doc and Ms. Jugglesworth >recognized the two, and...! "Dr. Longshlong!" >"Miss Titsalot!" All: *Dead pan* >Yes, those are their names. And just when you thought it couldn't >get any stranger... Tora: Buddy Christ crashed through the ceiling. Aisha: Carrot Top crashed through the window. Harle: Peter Griffin came zrough the back door. Jace: Willy Wonka entered the warehouse by burrowing through the earth's crust. >"Freeze, Dr. Lustidick! You're under arrest!" I think you know who that was. Harle: We would if we had seen the last two episodes. >"Oh, for the love of lust..." Dr. Lustidick muttered. "Okay..." Ms. Jugglesworth said to >Molder, "I gotta ask, why are you in a Japanese schoolgirl uniform?" "The sandwich sign >chafed," Molder said angrily. Tora: (Molder) And I feel pretty wearing this. >"Now put your hands up!" Aisha: (Molder) Now tell me I'm pretty! > "Up where?" Dr. Longshlong asked. At that moment, Skully realized who the other two were. >"Hey, you're--! Quick, cuff 'em!" "Huh?" After much scuffling and slapping of cuffs, Jace: And Asses. >Molder and Skully dragged the other doctor and assistant away. "You two are going away >for a long time!" Skully said triumphantly. Harle: (Molder) A full day of community service at Basken Robins. >"Noooooo!" Dr. Longshlong screamed in frustration. "You won't escape, Lustidick! I'll >hunt you down, even if it takes me the rest of my life!" Aisha: He's not such a bad guy. >"Riiiight," Miss Titsalot said in annoyance. Just before she was dragged off, she called >to Ms. Jugglesworth, "Hey, let me know >when you dump that guy you're with, my cousin's >been looking for a good time." "Send me a photo of him from prison, okay?" >Ms. Jugglesworth said, hoping for a decent non-clingy guy this time. Jace: She has large breasts. That's all men are going to do is cling. >"Uh, Skully? What about those two?" Molder asked, Harle: (Skully) No thanks. I like the breasts I have now. >pointing at the doc. "Er..." Skully thought for a moment, then said, "You two stay here, >we'll be right back." Aisha: That's like trusting a Tentacle monster to be a substitute sex education teacher in a all girls catholic school. >Like that's gonna happen... "Ms. Jugglesworth..." the doc mumbled quietly. Jace: (Lustidick) Spank the Wanking Monkey of love. Aisha: 'Wanking Monkey of love'? Jace: I saw someone use it in a chatroom. Tora: Then No more chat rooms for you. > "We're escaping to another anime universe?" Ms. Jugglesworth >asked, hoping it was to the >DBZ universe this time. "No, we're >escaping to a store to get me some aspirin." Harle: (Lustidick) And an Enema kit. >*** During all this, Tora: Somewhere, normal people were blissfully unaware of the menace of the kitten was headed straight for them. >back at the Tendo dojo, Ranma and company were just waking up and realizing they were all >very, very horny. Ranma and Nabiki began to hump Ukyo again, and Ukyo naturally began >humping back, when suddenly! Nothing happened. All: Hooray! > Then Ryoga burst in the room, All: NO! >shouting, "Ranma Saotome, I've finally--OH MY GOD IN HEAVEN!!!!!!!" Jace: Wait, he found his way to Ramna's room? Not to mention how unlikely it is that Ryoga found his way to the Tendo house. >"Ryoga!" Ranma said happily. Come on, join the party!" She pulled out of Ukyo and stood >up, her GBD bobbing up and down like...well, like a Great Big Dick. Ranma advanced, >coming closer and closer, while a scared Ryoga just stood there like a deer caught in >the headlights... Harle: Except ze car will hump ze deer instead of killing it. >with a giant penis as a hood ornament. But! Just before Ranma could kiss Ryoga, the two >IBI agents burst in the room! "Alright, everybody freeze," Tora: (Skully) Now do the Electric Shuffle. >Skully exclaimed, "And--hey, stop that!" Aisha: (Skully) Stop conjugating that sentence! >she shouted at Ranma, who was currently humping her leg. > "Come on, give them the cure," Molder ordered Dr. Longshlong, >who was still being >dragged in cuffs. "Look," the doc said, "just >because Lustidick is my rival and I'll do >anything to stop him, Jace: Would shove a porcupine up your ass? >that doesn't mean I always carry a cure to his Lust Virus in my pocket!!" "Then what's >this?" Skully asked, taking a vial of red liquid from the doc's coat pocket. "Jell-o," >the doc said calmly. "There's always room for Jell-o!" Ranma exclaimed, Tora: (Ranma) And dildos. >and quickly downed the contents. All of a sudden, her penis withered up and fell off! >"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" *Tora crosses his legs and cringes. Jace on the other hand takes a different approach to show his discontent. * Jace: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! *Then he faints. * Aisha: What a pussy. >As you can see, this was quite a shock! Well, it was till the Lust >Virus got a dose of >the cure and left her system. Tora: Virus in her system or not, anyone would be shocked if they saw their penis shrivel up and fall off. >Then she remembered what she just did to Ukyo and promptly jumped out the window Harle: Into ze acid filled pool. >and ran for his life. "Hey!!" Nabiki shouted after him, "You owe >me eighty-thousand yen >and three more orgasms, you bastard!" Jace: That's way too much for him to give her. I mean eight orgasms!? >Well, to make a long recovery short, everyone was administered a cure, Aisha: Sure, take the "I have no more ideas to keep this turkey afloat" route. >and Ukyo was rather embarrassed, to say the least. Nabiki was less embarrassed than pissed >about her lost payment, but then again, she had pictures of the whole mess, and Ranma >would pay dearly to avoid having those babies presented to the public at large. Tora: Wait, she took pictures? When the hell did this happen? Harle: Maybe when we where fighting? Jace: Nah, she has a high tech security camera system. It has the ability to take hi-definition pictures of anybody's anus. Anywhere in the room at any time. > Dr. Longshlong and Miss Titsalot were arrested for illegal biological experimentation, Aisha: Titsalot's breasts. >and were sentenced to life in prison, or until they escaped, whichever came first. >Speaking of criminals with really weird names, let's check in on the other dynamic duo, Jace: Ratfink and Pumkinhead. > shall we? *** So after the inevitable trip to the drugstore, the doc and >Ms. Jugglesworth did indeed escape to another anime series, and here they are! >"Perfect!" the doctor exclaimed. "This world is wild and untamed, Harle: And it doesn't wear panties. > a veritable smorgasbord of subjects!" "But doctor, there's no one >around." >"Ms. Jugglesworth..." "Yes, doctor?" "Wait five seconds." 5...4...3...2...1... >And so, a small red-headed girl with tiny breasts Aisha: So this is Batch's dimension? *A big smile appears on her face. * Serves her right! * Starts laughing* >walked by, followed by a moron with a sword of light, a guy who was 1/3 golem, demon, and >human, and a justice-minded girl with big tits. Jace: Sorry Aisha, this isn't Batch's dimension. It's the Slayers dimension. Aisha: Damnit. >"Never mind, doctor..." The doctor laughed an evil laugh, which got strange looks from >his assistant and the people who'd just walked past. "Wonderful, wonderful! Tora: (Lustidick) There is a buy one, get one free nipple clamp sale at JC Pennys! >This world shall prove powerless against my delightful virus!" Harle: (Lustidick) And my Stroganoff. >"Uh...there doesn't appear to be any warehouses around here," Ms. Jugglesworth observed. >"Then we shall build one!" The doctor cackled again, and the small-breasted redhead >began muttering something. Aisha: (redhead) God damned, cock sucking, ass licking, piss drinking, slackbitches. >"But we don't have any materials," Ms. Jugglesworth pointed out. The redhead was still >muttering. "Then we'll hire some lumberjacks to get some for us!" "Where the hell are we >gonna find lumberjacks all the way out here? Tora: Suddenly a random encounter is activated, and five rabid zombie lumberjacks attack! > Suddenly... "Dragon Slave!!!" *BOOM!!!* "That's it!" the >doctor said as he flew through >the air, Harle: (Lustidick) We'll fly to ze moon! >"We'll go to the city! There's sure to be a place for rent there!" "Hey, what's that >masturbating panda doing here?" "That's a different one." "Well, that's just great..." Jace: Stop the voices! STOP THE VOICES IN MY HEAD! Aisha: Nock it off. >To be continued! ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Tora: IN HELL! >Ohh, I'm gonna have fun with the next one. I just got the Slayers Try DVD boxed set, so >expect Filia and Xellos to Harle: Be rapped constantly. >show up as well! Well, maybe just Filia, Xellos would probably find some way to stop the >whole mess. Or he'd transform into a tentacle monster, and...hmmmmmmm... Aisha: What, he'll hum?