Hello, all! I'm Whispers of a Ghost, from the GAFF forums, and I've been lurking around here quite some time. Well, now I'm finally going to contribute. I have here the first part of my MST of "Where Angels Dare to Tread", the Pagan!James fic as we all might remember it. It's tedious, and I only have part of chapter one done, but it's been a blast, and I hope you all like it. Starring: -Marakai (ME) -Shinji Ikari (Evangellion) -Kaworu Nagisa (Evangellion) -Eiri Yuki (Gravitation) -Soubi Agatsuma (Loveless) Enjoy! (Soubi, Yuki, Kaworu, Shinji, and Marakai enter the theater and take their seats in that order from left to right.) It was a clear, balmy evening in late summer. Soubi: Leaving unsuspecting readers unbeknownst of the horrors that were to come in the Pokemon world. A cool breeze rustled the leaves of the trees, and a flock of Pidgeys soared through the liquid gold skies Marakai: Hooo-doggy! Them skies are made of liquid gold? Shinji: We're rich, everyone! Though, I don't know exactly how we're going to use the money here... Marakai: Online Multiplayer games, duh. as a lone pokemon trainer made his way up the road, his only companion the jet-black Umbreon at his side. Gary Oak Soubi:: groans:: Oh no, he was the only decent person on that damn show. Why couldn't he have been spared? Yuki: Because he became a favorite of Cori Falls. And once you become the favorite of an author, damnation is the only thing that awaits you. smiled wearily and shifted the weight of his backpack Marakai: So it crushed the ribs of the dying man below him, who was now hacking and reeling in the throws of death! Kaworu: O.o... when he crested Soubi: And troughed. the hill and beheld a small town nestled in the valley below. Shinji: (Gary) " Hmm...Silent Hill. Sounds like a nice place to stay for the night!" "This must be Grove," Gary remarked as he consulted his map. "It's only ten more miles to Blackthorn City from here, Umbreon!" Kaworu: Entire cities in the Pokemon world would be left devestated by the sudden attack of the fanfiction author. Only a few brave souls would survive the OOCness, horrible sex, and bad grammar and be able to tell the tale. "Breon! Bree!" Umbreon said cheerfully. Yuki: The proper translation being "Get me the fuck out of this badfic before I bite you". Gary reached down and scratched behind Umbreon's ears. "Come on, buddy. It's been a long day -- let's go get some dinner and take a rest." Yuki: (Umbreon) "...You REALLY aren't getting what I'm saying here, are you? Am I GOING to have to draw blood here, buddy?" In the four days since Gary had earned his Glacier Badge at the Mahogany Gym, he'd been doing some of the most intense training of his life. Soubi: Becoming a member of the Kaleido Stage is a hard process, but if Sora could do it, then you could to! Marakai: Gary KNEW he should have read the fine print at the bottom of the pamphlet BEFORE he joined the "Third Reich" Movement. Shinji: (Gary) "But they said they had free hors'dourves! How could I pass up?!" He'd sent Rhydon and Pidgeot back to his grandfather's lab and exchanged them for Nidoking and Nidoqueen, hoping that the dragon and ice attacks he'd taught them would help him defeat Claire's dragon pokemon and win the Rising Badge...the last one he needed in order to compete in the Johto League finals. Marakai: Gary, don't sweat it, hunny. I beat her with only my Pikachu in "Pokemon Yellow"! Soubi: THAT'S because by the time you GOT to her, it was up to level nine-hundred-something. Marakai: That's beside the point, you! Gary's smile grew even wider Yuki: So that it split open his cheeks. As blood oozed down his face, he realized he REALLY had to see a doctor about that damn widening smile problem. Too many badfics had made his larger than the Cheshire Cat's. than it already was as he and Umbreon made their way towards Grove. "I bet James would do really well at the Blackthorn Gym," Soubi:...WHY is he thinking about Team Rocket? Marakai: Because in Cori's own personal Utopia, Gary is now bestest buddies with Jessie, James, and Meowth. Soubi:...You're kidding me, right? RIGHT? he mused. "He taught his Growlithe Dragon Rage last summer, Kaworu: I thought his Growlithe was at his parents' estate... Marakai: Remember, Kaworu-dear, that in the Cori verse, canon smells yucky and eats babies on spikes. and his Articuno is gonna have some really powerful ice attacks when he gets older! ::Silence:: Shinji:...An Articuno? Yuki: When in the HELL did Team Rocket get an Articuno? And NOT take it to Giovanni?! Soubi: And besides, doesn't capturing an Articuno cause an ecological apocalypse or something like that? Marakai: (Cori) " B-but it's TEAM ROCKET! My precious babies are holier than Jesus!" Jessie's Wobbuffet could take out pretty much anything with Counter and Mirror Coat, too!" Yuki: Then why, please tell me, dumbass fangirl, does Team Rocket STILL lose in EVERY SINGLE EPISODE?! Marakai: Remember: Canon's an evil abortionist baby-eater in her eyes. Yuki:: groans:: Don't REMIND me. Gary paused for a moment and sighed. "It's a shame so many gym leaders are so snotty about letting Team Rocket members compete for badges Shinji: Yes, it's a perfectly good idea for international criminals to gain all the power they want! Kaworu: At the same time, let's give every Al-Quaida member full US citizenship! -- if anybody deserves the chance to earn badges and compete in league championships, it's Jessie and James. They're good trainers...and good people...." All: Grrroooaaannn... Marakai:: sighs:: Here we go, guys, ANOTHER one of Cori's "They're really good people because they steal things and don't LIKE DOING IT" tangents. Soubi: Is there any possible way that I can get Yugi back so I can leave now? Kaworu: Sorry, you're stuck here. Soubi:...Maybe if I'm lucky, Ritsuka will get tired of our series being on hold without me and come and rescue me. "Bree!" Umbreon said, as if to agree. Yuki: The actual translation being "Snap out of it, man! Cori Falls is manipulating your mind!! She's eating your brains!!" It had been a couple of months since Gary had befriended Jessie, James, and Meowth, Marakai: And the Pokemon canon had gone into a coma ala Terry Schiavo. and during that time, a day rarely went by when he didn't think about them. Soubi: I think that's starting to border on mental illness, when you can't stop thinking about three people you have only known for three MONTHS. Yuki: Aren't you a hypocrite, Mr. Ritsuka-Twenty-Four-Seven? Soubi:: calmly:: I'm a Fighter, he is my Sacrifice. I'm SUPPOSED to think about him most of the time. Unless you want me to start acting out of character and become an evil cackling rapis- Yuki: I'll pass, thank you very much! The last time he'd seen them had been two weeks ago at a fire pokemon tournament, where Jessie and James had won a pair of Fire Stones with the help of their Vulpix Shinji: Why didn't they just STEAL the fire stones, like they would have usually done? Kaworu: And since when did they get a Vulpix? Steal it from Brock? Marakai: I honestly have no clue. Cori Fall's series so SO DAMN LONG that you lose track of all the Pokemon eighty-three-trillion-gargantuazillion stories along the way. and Growlithe...and then, he'd helped them humiliate Ash in a game of Dungeons & Dragons. All:... Yuki: Am I the only one not seeing Team Rocket as fans of Dungeons and Dragons? Kaworu: And am I the only one wondering of Dungeons and Dragons even EXISTS in the Pokemon world? Soubi: This must be when the author implants her own likings into the characters. It's happened to me before. Marakai: What did you become a fan of? Soubi: Linkin Park. All but Soubi:... Soubi:: blandly:: Believe me, that fanfiction was not pleasing AT ALL. And even when he didn't get to see them in person, he exchanged e-mails with them whenever he had the chance to get online. Kaworu: Can Team Rocket even AFFORD a computer?! Yuki: (Meowth) " Yeah, it's composed entirely of chewed up gum, toothpicks, and duct-tape, but if you turn your head to the side and squint realllllyyyy hard, you can sort of see what looks like an AIM box!" Jessie with her beauty and kindness, James with his wisdom and sensitivity, Meowth with his sarcastic wit Marakai: AUGH! The Sue and Stu-ness, it burns! My eyes! -- whenever Gary thought about the three of them, it lifted his spirits and put a smile on his face. All:: singing:: Smile, you've got Frenches! Suddenly, however, the happy image of his friends shifted to one of horror -- Jessie was lying on the ground, writhing in agony, and James and Meowth were kneeling at her side and crying. Yuki: Yes, they're DEAD! Shinji: But only in Gary's mind. Yuki: Shut up and let me have a moment of happiness, will you, you goddamned brat?! Gary squeezed his eyes shut and brushed away the cold sweat that was forming on his brow as he tried to shake the image from his mind. Whenever he thought about the difficult pasts they'd had and the cruel and degrading treatment they often suffered at the hands of Ash and his friends, Soubi: Yes, because God FORBID that Ash actually stops Team Rocket from COMMITTING CRIMES. The AGONY. it made Gary sad, but nothing he'd ever seen before in his mind's eye was as vivid or intense...or disturbing as the vision he'd just had. Marakai: (Gary) "Damnit, the hallucinations were supposed to stop after I QUIT the Crystal Meth!" Umbreon flattened his ears and pawed at Gary's leg. "Breon, bree?" Yuki: (Umbreon) "Please, tell me you're finally coming to your senses and getting us out of here!" Gary shook his head and opened his eyes again. "It's...it's nothing," he said at length. "Probably just my nerves -- we do have some difficult battles ahead of us, after all." Shinji: My, that isn't foreshadowing at ALL. Satisfied with his master's answer, Umbreon nodded and continued on his way. Yuki: (Umbreon) " Oh well, there's a cliff over there. Maybe if I run him over it, I can escape the author myself!" "Just my nerves...just my nerves...." Gary whispered again. But as he cast a look over his shoulder and saw black storm clouds gathering in the western sky, he couldn't help but wonder if that was really all it was. All: OH, THE FORESHADOWING IS SO MYSTERIOUS. IS SOMETHING BAD GOING TO HAPPEN? WE'D NEVER GUESS. @->->- Soubi: What the fuck is that? Kaworu:: blinks:: A keyboard...rose, I think. Soubi: Even Ritsuka's horrible emoticons are better than that! Meanwhile, in a Team Rocket cabin a few miles from a town called Rowandale, Gary's three friends were settling in for the night. Marakai: And now, the true horror beings. "It's a shame we couldn't keep dat staff and mask," Meowth sighed as he watched James open a package of chicken-flavored ramen noodles and add them to the pot of boiling water on the stove. "Even if dey was a royal pain in the ass, we coulda sold 'em." Yuki: Now THIS sounds like Team Rocket. Soubi: Is there hope yet? "Yes. I'm sure an art collector or a museum would've paid a fortune for artifacts like those," James agreed. "At the very least, we could've gotten enough money for groceries." Marakai: Holy crap, this DOES sound like Team Rocket! Shinji: Are we SURE that Cori wrote this? Meowth scowled. "Goddamned fuckin' twerps! It ain't like we was stealin' -- dose things was up for grabs, and we found 'em first!" The cat paused for a moment and looked over at the bedroom door. "Besides, it ain't like Queen Jessie coulda taken over the world, or anything. Why is it any skin off dere ass if we wanna earn an honest buck so we can stay alive?!" Marakai:...And my hopes are dashes into little indistinguishable splinters on the ground. Goddamnit. YukI:: groaning:: Yep, this is Cori, alright. Soubi:: eyes wide:: Holy...are Cori's tangents ALWAYS this bad?! Kaworu: Yes, sadly. Soubi:: mutters something that sounds like 'Ritsuka, get me out of here, PLEASE!':: James ran a hand through his blue-violet hair and sighed. "Beats me. All I know is that I'm at my wit's end with those brats. I guess I can see why they get pissy when we try to catch their pokemon, but they've really been crossing the line lately. I don't know how much more of their bullshit I can take." Marakai: And what's with all the excessive cussing, anyways? "I hear ya, Jimbo," said Meowth. After a couple of minutes, James removed the pot from the stove and began spooning the ramen noodles into bowls. "Meowth, will you tell Jessie that dinner is ready, please?" he asked. Marakai: That's bullshit. I've had Mauchan full ramen packets before, and they are NOT enough for three people! Soubi: Remember, Team Rocket's poor, Marakai. This is actually one of the few things in character for them in this fic. Marakai:...KEEP EATING THE MAUCHAN, TR! "Tell her yerself," Meowth grumbled. James raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?" Yuki: (James) Since when did you start talking like Snaps Provolone? Meowth's expression softened when he saw the look of shock on James's face. "Sorry. I didn't mean for it ta sound like dat." Kaworu: Come on, Meowth doesn't give a damn about hurting James' and Jessie's feelings, so why is he all considerate now? Shinji: It seems as if they've been replaced of replicas made of sugar, cheese, and aphrodisiac. Marakai:...That's actually a startlingly accurate description of Cori's Sue and Stuified characters. "Then what did you mean?" "I'm just sayin', if ya want Jessie ta know dat dinner's ready, you'll hafta tell her yerself -- I ain't talkin' ta gher," he clarified. Yuki: (James) "...Isn't that what you just said?" James buried his face in his hands. "Meowth, don't tell me you're still upset about Jessie using that staff to make you dance!" Soubi: Because if I endured public humiliation at the hands of one of my best friends, I wouldn't mind! Me, offended or angry, nooooooooooo... "Well, how the hell do ya expect me ta feel?!" Meowth demanded. "She humiliated me, James!" Marakai: And Meowth gives us one of the only few glimpses of sense in this story. "You think I don't know that?" James retorted. "Do you think I enjoyed it when she took control of Victreebel and sicced him on me?!" Yuki: SO WHY THE HELL DID YOU FORGIVE HER?! Kaworu: Eiri-san, calm down! Yuki:: breathes deeply, hunched over in this seat:: No more ulcers, no more ulcers... "No...I know," he conceded. "But it ain't really the dancin' dat upset me, even if it was embarrassin' as all get out! It's dat power-trip she went on. James, ya can't tell me it didn't hurt when Jessie declared herself queen and acted like we wasn't any better den a couple a slaves!" Shinji: Wha? I thought Meowth would be more concerned about the embarrassment, really... Soubi: No, Shinji, this is not Team Rocket. These people are obviously Care Bears dressed up like Team Rocket. Marakai: What kinds of hell Care Bears would screw each other? Kaworu: "Hello, I'm Mr. Screw Me Bear, how may I help you, Mr. Boner Bear?" "You're right, Meowth. It did hurt...and I was mad at her about that," James admitted. Marakai: Ohhhh please return to in character, PLEEEAASSEEE... "Den why ain't dis buggin' you the way it's buggin' me?" Yuki: (James) "The author is paying me a King's Ransom to act like this, so stop trying to make me regret it!" "Because I know that wasn't the real Jessie doing all of that stuff today." Meowth's eyes widened. "Ya mean she was possessed?!" All: NO, THAT COULDN'T BE. DON'T BE RIDICULOUS. James chuckled. "No. I'm just saying that she had a momentary lapse in judgement and did some crazy things that she wouldn't normally have done. Soubi: You mean Jessie DOESN'T go psycho almost every Pokemon episode? Well, I've been watching the wrong series. That's something we've all been guilty of -- like the time you had those islanders banish me and Jessie so that we wouldn't ruin your chance to be a god...or the time I thought I was a Moltres-type and tried to usurp control of the team. Shinji: Oh, canon events, how we miss ye. Today it was Jessie's turn to let a bit of power go to her head, and that's why it's not a big deal to me anymore," he explained. Marakai: (James) " I mean, she pretty much acts like that five days of the week and sometimes on Saturdays when we make her miss a clothing sale!" "Besides, Jess had a choice today. She could've stayed in those ruins forever and kept all of those amazing powers, but she didn't -- she gave them up in a heartbeat so that she could stay with us!" Yuki: Actually, I think she just realized how damn BORING it would be living in ancient ruins twenty-four seven. "Kinda like how you chose me and Jess over yer inheritance, Shinji: (James) "Actually, it was a choice between being hit three times a day to being hit twenty times a day, and I chose the one that would give me less pain." Marakai: Aww, I actually thought that was a bit touching. Everyone Else:: stares gaping at Marakai:: Marakai: What? I like Jessie and James together, but I like them IN CHARACTER TOGETHER. and I gave up the chance ta be a god so I could stay with youse guys?" Meowth ventured. James nodded. "Precisely!" "Good point," he said, breathing a sigh of relief. "Ya know, for a moment dere, I thought ya meant dat dere was some sorta evil spirit in the mask and dat it took control of Jessie, or somethin'. I guess dat's kinda ridiculous when ya stop and think about it, but...." All:... Marakai: My God, is Cori DELIBERATELY trying to be obvious, or does she not realize how she's completely giving away her storyline plot on the FIRST CHAPTER. Yuki: I choose option number two, Regis. "It is, isn't it?" James agreed. "But I can see where you're coming from -- everything that happened today was very...bizarre, to say the least." "You can say dat again, Jimmy-boy! Kaworu: (Cori Falls) "Subtlety? What's that?" James smiled and gave Meowth a playful nudge. "Come on. Let's go get Her Majesty -- I'd like to eat dinner before it gets cold." All: Hardee har har. 3 decided | i can't decide ( 3 decided — i can't decide ) your entitled savage bitch :D: Jessie&Jamessarajayechan on March 28th, 2006 09:34 am (local) *loves you hard* ...mind putting spaces between the lines and the riffs, though? Maybe put the fic lines in italics so people can tell what's fic and what's riff? (Reply) (Thread) (Link) Edit Delete Track This marakai_rurouni on March 28th, 2006 09:52 am (local) Will do. Glad you liked it, though. ^.^() :: typed it up in Microsoft Powerpoint, and doens't know what the hell happened:: (Reply) (Parent) (Thread) (Link) Track This Disco citizenteamrodent on March 28th, 2006 06:23 pm (local) (quote)Marakai: Remember, Kaworu-dear, that in the Cori verse, canon smells yucky and eats babies on spikes.(/quote) So true! Welcome. :)