Please Don't Make Love to MeTwo months past her deadlines In a future never to be There lived a crazy fangirl Named Uncreativity She made a crappy webcomic And wrote a bunch of bad fanfic She wouldn't update at a regular pace So the fans tied her up and shot her into spaaace "We'll send Pokemon fanfic "The worst that we can find (la-la-la!) "She'll have to sit and read them all "Until it breaks her mind (la-la-la!)" Now keep in mind she can't control Where the fanfics start or end (la-la-la!) She'll try to keep her sanity With the help of imaginary friends Imaginary Friend Role Call! James! (I'm feeling giddy!) Excel! (HEIL IL PALAZZO!) Yuffie! (I didn't steal it, I swear!) KOS-MOS! (This is not within my mission paramaters.) Rufiooo! (I hate all of you.) If you're wondering when she'll update The Disciplinary Room (la-la-la!) She'll send Rufio to gun you down So relax and accept the certain doom that is... Pokemon Fanfic Theatre 3000! Uncreativity: Hi, and welcome to the very first episode of PFT3K! Yuffie: What's with the number? Is that how much we get paid for reading this garbage? Uncreativity: No, it's just a random number. It was going to be 386, for the number of current Pokemon, but I decided this was easier to sing and more of a rip-off. Yuffie: Gawd. Dork-o-rama. Uncreativity: Anyway! Today's fanfic is a grotesquely awful Rocketshippy fic that has always been something of a favorite of mine. Prepare for vast OOCness and some of the worst spelling and grammar ever seen in... Make Love to Me Rufio: No. Uncreativity: Fanfic authors need lovin', too, Fifi. KOS-MOS: That statement is highly erroneous. By Lady Suicune KOS-MOS: I am sorry to report that there is only a 4.8% chance of this pseudonym being a typo for "Lady Suicide." Yuffie: Way to, like, shatter our dreams. The young lovers entered the hotel room,in full lip-lock. The dark skinned boy with lavender hair could not let go of his partner, for he was enjoying her to much. KOS-MOS: Either the self-diagnostic program scanning my language database is malfunctioning, or there are already severe technical problems with this story. Uncreativity: It's the latter. That grammar is atrocious.. Yuffie: Is it? I didn't notice. Excel: *in heavily accented Engrish* Ekuseru agrees! I am think it's very much cleanup princess! "Kojiro." Musashi gasped. "Save some for later." James: Those names sound familiar somehow... *taps chin contemplatively* Excel: A twist of fate as James, bringing home the daily donuts, has walked in on Not-So-Revolutionary Prince Akio, who is enjoying his current princess a little 'to much'! 3P ACTION, HERE WE COME! XD James: HOLY MUK, IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE ME!? O.O Kojiro nodded,shuting the door to their room. James: I get the feeling this fic is gonna follow the door straight down that chute. -_-;; Uncreativity: Guess he doesn't wanna threesome after all. Excel: Just when things were getting interesting. ;_; The two Rockets looked at their suit, it was beautiful. Rufio: We're well-aware that they share clothes. Yuffie: But how beautiful is this suit? "Stick it under your shirt and run out of the store" beautiful, or just "Take it out of Cloud's inventory while he isn't looking" beautiful? James: Honestly! Things like that are important to know! Kojiro took his and Musashi's bags and laid them on the bed. Excel: 2P-on-Bag action! XD Rufio: Just how much hentai do you watch? -_-;; Excel: Excel is in between day jobs at the moment. ^_^;; "I'm gonna check out the hot tub." Musashi said, as Kojiro pouted. James: *pouting* Hmph. Anything to get out of unpacking the bags. Where's Meowth in this story, anyway? Excel: 2P-on-Pocket Monster action! XD James: Stop saying things like that! You'll Jynx us! >_< "Would you like to join me, Koji-sama." Musashi pampered. KOS-MOS: Restarting self-diagnostic... Uncreativity: Don't bother. It's the grammar. James: I'm not too good at Japanese while I'm being dubbed like this, but I've got some Wailord-sized doubts as to whether she'd ever call me "Koji-sama." For any reason. Whatsoever. Rufio: And what about "pampered?" What on earth made the author think "pampered" was the right word to use there? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THE DAMN WORLD WHERE FANFICITON WRITERS ARE LET TO ROAM THE STREETS? >_<**** Uncreativity: How long have you been off the Prozac now, Fifs? Rufio: So long. ;_; "Hai!" Kojiro replied,walking over to his suitcase. Yuffie: He keeps the hot tub in a suitcase? What a steal! XD He opened it and began to take out a few 'necessary' items: Uncreativity: Lipstick, mascara... Yuffie: ...a blonde wig, a satin dress... James: *helpfully* Don't forget about the inflatable breasts. A pair of black satin briefs, a comb, a blow dryer, and a small red square wrap. KOS-MOS: I can find no logical application for the combination of those items. Excel: You know, KOS-CHAN, you and I don't spend enough time together... It didn't take Musashi long to realize Kojiro had taken out a condom. Yuffie: I don't need all of these small, random objects, but I just... can't... stop... stealing! James: Hey! My therapist said I'm making excellent progress! ;_; Uncreativity: I don't think she was impersonating you... -_-;; "Naughty,Kojiro." Musashi slaped him playfuly. Rufio: She slaped him? Hey, Lady Suicide, I got news for ya! 'Slape' ain't a word! Uncreativity: *reading from a dictionary* Slape, adjective. Slippery smooth; crafty, hypocritical. Rufio: All right, wiseass, why don't you find 'playfuly' in that dictionary of yours? Uncreativity: ...okay, you win this round, Palazzo, but I WILL BE BACK! Woe shal be upon my enemies at that particular point in time! *doesn't move* All: ... As she to opened her suitcase to take out a few of her 'necessary' items as well, a single white lacy bra and pantie, a hair brush, sensual lotion, and some sort of gel. Yuffie: Think it's hair gel? KOS-MOS: The tone of the story indicates otherwise. Yuffie: Gawd, stop disillusioning me! Kojiro watched Musashi remove her items, and he saw the gel was labled KY. Yuffie: That's right... I've pondered up the perfect plan to pilfer that Pikachu! James: : So you're saying all we need to do is doll up Nyasu— Uncreativity: *correctingly* Meowth. James: —give him a bottle of KY jelly, and use him as bait? *pause* Actually, that's just crazy enough to work! *whips out a notebook and begins scribbling frantically* "Ooh, naughty Musa-chan." Kojiro teased. Uncreativity: All RIGHT! This has got to be when she breaks out the strap-on! Queershipping forever! XD James: *edges away from her* ...you frighten me. They walked into the bathroom, which was more like another full-sized room. James: *pensive* I think we must've sold Meowth to get the hotel room. Rufio: Trying to make sense of it only makes it more painful. Trust me. Musashi sat her things along the side of the hot tub,as Kojiro did the same,but sat the blow dryer on the counter near the sink. KOS-MOS: This information is irrelevant. Uncreativity: *doubtfully* Maybe it comes up later... Rufio: *dreamily* If only that blow dryer were near the tub... plugged in... James: Even if it were, I don't think a little shock like that would phase us. *shrug* Musashi finished putting up her hair so it would not get wet while in the tub,she than began to undress, KOS-MOS: With that mass amount of hair, it would seem more efficient to put it up after undressing. James: She doesn't need to put it up at all. She's got anti-gravity hair. as Kojiro did as well. Uncreativity: Maybe they translated the fic into English with Babelfish or something. Rufio: I dunno, I think it's still in its native language. You know, gibberish. Then the thought came to her, Musashi realized she had never been nude in front of a man before, James: *bursts into irrepressible laughter* and had never seen Kojiro nude,at least not on purpose anyway. Excel: *nods understadingly* It must have been a naughty shilouette! Yuffie: Umm... what? Excel: Nevermind. ^^;; "K-Kojiro?" Musashi said. Rufio: What the hell do you want now, bitch? "Hai." He answered, looking at her. Rufio: 'Yes.' The word is YES, people. English 101, for crying out loud! "Do you feel a little nervous or tense?" She asked. Uncreativity: No, but there is a slight burning sensation when I urinate... "Ne,not at all." Kojiro replied."Are you?" "I'm trying not to be." Musashi answered. James: I'm just not used to being this out of character. "Maybe if I relax you."Kojiro suggested. Yuffie: That was when Kojiro slipped her the micky. Rufio: *sigh* Just once, I'd like to go an evening without hearing a date rape joke. "Whatever you want is fine with me." Musashi agreed. James: O.o I really DID slip her a micky! Kojiro was down to removing his last piece of clothing, his 'boxers'. James: Why would that need to be in quotations? ?_? Rufio: They're actually panties, aren't they? James: Hey, lay off me a little. You're not the one having to read a lemon about yourself. Rufio: You're wearing panties right now, aren't you? James: .....................kinda. ^^;; Kojiro grinned, and slid them off without care letting the article fall to the tiled floor, revealing his large growing member. James: Check it out, I'm a porn star! ^_^v Excel: Is that a Poke-a-mon, or are you happy to see me? Uncreativity: WOBBUFFET! Excel: Figures. Musashi's face turned hot and red. KOS-MOS: Perhaps she has a fever. Yuffie: Now who's doing the wishful thinking? "Nani?" Kojiro questioned. Uncreativity: I love randomly placed bits of Japanese. Oh wait, no I don't. "Its just another part of me Musa-chan." Excel: I dunno, James, you seem to have an abnormal growth there. Maybe you should get it checked out. Uncreativity: Seems like you're checkin' me out for the both of us, pretty mama. HOO HAH HUH! He began to walk over to Musashi to finish undressing her hisself. Rufio: 'Hisself. ' Yuffie: Down, Rufio. Rufio: 'Hisself.' Musashi made no protest, in fact, the site of Kojiro undressing her while being nude hisself was beginning to turn her on,as she began to feel the juices from between her thighs. Excel: *whips out a tied-up Menchi dons a chef hat* Now, when you're cooking, you want to be careful to make sure the meat doesn't dry out. I prefer my thighs extra juicy! Menchi: *yips in terror* "Just relax Musa-chan."Kojiro told her."Losten up a little." Rufio: 'Losten?' Uncreativity: Maybe we should give her a break. It's hard to type one-handed. Rufio: How would YOU know? ¬_¬ Uncreativity: I broke my arm once. Rufio: ...oh. "Gomen,Kojiro." Musashi apologized."I want to be good for you." Uncreativity: Which you could accomplish by pulling out the strap-on! Rufio: *smacks her upside the head* Don't make me break your other arm, woman. Musashi gazed at Kojiro, he was truly beautiful, his looks were completely flawless. James: Can't say I deny it. The way his lavender hair James: What's with all this 'lavender' stuff? dangled over his dark emerald eyes, he had lovely bedroom eyes, Musashi thought as she continued to skim over his body. Uncreativity: Dark emerald is not a real color, damn it. Excel: Maybe the lights are off in his bedroom eyes. "See anything you like my dear?" Kojiro asked playfuly. Yuffie: You left your wallet unguarded... Uncreativity: Once again, I don't think that's an impersonation. Musashi blushed, but still continued to 'admire' her lovers features, Rufio: I detect sarcasm. James: My features are very admirable, thank-you-very-much! ;_; her eyes moved up and down, Excel: And in and out and upside down and rotationally... she noticed his sexy chest with the little lavender hairs, James: AUGH! Trunks has lavender hair! Clef has lavender hair! Anthy and Elgara and Merlock Holmes and Rabi~en~Rose all have lavender hair! I do NOT! My hair is blue! B-L-U-E! >_<***** her eyes continued downward, she noticed Kojiro had a very large, but very lovely penis. All but James: *burst into irrepressible laughter* James: ;_; She blushed immediately after looking at it. Yuffie: It's so lovely! Excel: Can I pet it? James: You guys... -_-;; Excel: No, seriously. James: ...*inches away from Excel* Kojiro giggled: "My poor little Musashi-sama, so kyuti." All: *GAG!* Kojiro began to undress Musashi, starting with her Rocket Dan jacket, he carfuly slid it over her head and tossed it aside. James: The jacket has a zipper. He then began working at her mid-riff top, he unzipped the back of it and slid it off her arms gently,alowing her purple silk bra to show. James: The midriff doesn't have a zipper. And her bra isn't purple. Uncreativity: This is your biggest complaint with the fic? James: Clothes are important to me. ;_; Kojiro rubbed his fingers along Musashi's bra making her nipples grow hard and stiff, he enjoyed the kawaii sounds his lovely Musashi was making. Excel: *panting heavily* Piiiiika... Pikachuuuu.... James: O.o *appears to be thoroughly traumatized by that thought* He raised his head to look at her face to see her reaction, she looked happy and aroused, but yet the nervousness was clearly seen in her eyes. Excel: I see nervousness! Oh, wait, that's an eyelash. Here, lemme get it out... Excel: AAK, MY EYES! YOU'VE PUT OUT MY EYES! Excel: Oh no! I'll be thrown into jail! I'm too pretty for jail! I've got to kill you and dispose of the evidence! Excel: Nooo! Please, Kojiro, I love you! Don't pull that rope! Excel: Well, perhaps if you do me some... sexual favors... Excel: All you had to do was ask, darli— KOS-MOS: *bonks Excel over the head* Peasants: *rejoice* "Musashi?" Kojiro asked. "Why are so tense?" Uncreativity: B CUZ this is 1st time silly lol!!!!!!!!!!!!111 Rufio: No, no, you gotta do it like this: Gomen nasai, Koji-sama! Atashi wants sekusu with anata-sama, but I sugoi fear the loss of hana of my shojo innocence! "I've never done anything like this before." was her reply. Rufio: Unless all that oral and heavy petting with all those other guys counts. Uncreativity: Or my long-running fling with Cassidy. Excel: Or all those hours 'training' with Arbok, Lickitung, and Wobbuffet. James: You guys are SO lucky she's not here to hear this. -_-;; "Musa-chan, you said that you wanted us to be together for ever,ne?" Kojiro said. Rufio: Whoa, somebody's a little sleazy. Yuffie: What're you talking about? He's, like, being all mushy and sappy. Rufio: He's baiting her. Watch. "Hai..." Musashi trailed. "Then how can I see you if I can't be with you, Yuffie: !!! Rufio: Told ya! ^_^v Uncreativity: It figures you'd be the expert on sleaze. Excel: You think Il Palazzo-sama would buy that line? All: No. Excel: Damn. I need you Musa-chan." Kojiro added. Rufio: Backpeddle a little faster there, Kuja. James: Kojiro. Rufio: Whatever. "I know." Musashi answered. "I want you badly Kojiro, I really do, but just something in me just quenches." All: Quenches? All but James: *suddenly turn on James* Uncreativity: Who knew? Deep down inside, she was really just thirsty all along! Excel: But here he is, convincing her that that deep inner thirst is a sign of lust! The corrupt male Kojiro has taken advantage of her weakness, thus demonstrating the evil of men in today's society! *pause* Except for Il Palazzo-sama. Yuffie: Gawd! Like, totally steal her virginity, why don't you? KOS-MOS: If you pose a threat to the women in this room, you will have to be exterminated. James: o.o Eeee! It's not like that at all! *cowers* Rufio: See, and with guys like that running around, it's any wonder you can't meet any girls nowadays that aren't total tramps. Girls: *turn away from James and instead beat Rufio to a blood pulp* James: *sigh of relief* Kojiro smiled: "Just follow my lead." Yuffie: Like, thanks! You give the best dancing lessons! He continued undressing his female lover, beginning to remove her small white mini skirt, Rufio: As opposed to a large miniskirt. as he pulled it down slowly to her ankles with his mouth, James: Getting that thing off is hard enough with hands, let alone with your mouth. All: *stare at James* James: I imagine it must be even worse getting it off someone else! allowing Musashi to step out of her skirt. Rufio: And onto his head. "How do you wear this thing?" Kojiro said, holding the small skirt in front of his face. Uncreativity: I want to try it on. Yuffie: Here's a hint, Koji-sama: it doesn't go on your face. Musashi giggled, as Kojiro tossed the skirt aside and concentrated on his lovely female. Rufio: Note the constant emphasis on the word 'female.' KOS-MOS: Odds are in favor of the idea that Kojiro must remind himself in order to avoid technical difficulties. Uncreativity: Which wouldn't be a problem if Jessie'd just bring out the strap-on. *pouts* James: *irritated* Do you guys mind? I'm sitting right here. He stepped closser to Musashi, pressing his body firmly against her own, allowing his erection to rub against her purple pantie. Musashi closed her eyes and took a deep the, KOS-MOS: What is a 'deep the?' Excel: The world may never know! then re-opened her eyes to look at Kojiro. Excel: Your aim's off. Yuffie: Yeah, that's my 'pantie.' Rufio: Oops! Hold on, let me get the pamphlet... "Feel good?" Kojiro asked. Rufio: I've had better. Uncreativity: Hear that a lot, do you Rufio? Rufio: *shoots her* Uncreativity: *sits up with a big bandaid on her forehead* Oww... ;_; As he unclasped Musashi's bra, Rufio: Began yet another sentence fragment letting the garment slide off her arms and fall to the floor, James: Wheeee! releasing her large breats. All: *gasp!* Uncreativity: The BREATS are loose! Excel: Breats, eh? *rubs chin thoughfully* We should capture and enslave these breats... for Il Palazzo-sama! James: Quick, somebody get a net! Yuffie: I wouldn't risk it... they're large breats! Rufio: I'll fetch the tranquilizer darts! KOS-MOS: Safety lock disengaged. Breat-fighting capacity at 100%. Kojiro gazed at them, admiring them. Rufio: Yep, those are some damn fine breats. Yuffie: We'll win first place in the breat races for sure! "You like." Musashi flirted. All but James: No. James: Mine are bigger. Uncreativity: Jeez, can't a guy have a big pair of breats without having to brag about them? "Mu-Musashi, you are beautiful." Kojiro said to her. Rufio: *nod* Anything to get her in the sack, right James? James: More like anything to not be beaten senseless by an angry Jessie. Rufio: Touché. He leaned towards her taking her nipple in his mouth, Yuffie: Ha ha, took your nipple! Uncreativity: *reading Animal Farm* But it wasn't really Kojiro who took the nipple, now was it? It was the breats! Those vile, conniving breats, who exist only to— Rufio: Gimme that. *snatches her book* No more reading for you. *pause* Except of this fic, with the rest of us. Uncreativity: Damn. and gently sucked on it, nibbling a little. Musashi wrapped her arms around his neck Rufio: And slowly choked the life out of him, bit by bit. entwining her fingers in Kojiro's hair. Rufio: Which she ripped out in chunks... Yuffie: There, there. Take it from someone who's been in a lot of bad fanfic — It'll be over before you know it. Rufio: That's a bald-faced lie. Yuffie: True. ;_; Kojiro knew his work, Rufio: As a Las Vegas showgirl. Uncreativity: How is that clone of yours? Have you made up yet? Rufio: I HAVE NO CLONE. >_< and was enjoying the pleasurable sounds his lover was making. Musashi was completely lost in the moment, Uncreativity: Excuse me, is this Furinkan High? Excel: Actually, my good, delicious-looking sir, I believe we are trapped in a moment. Might I inquire as to directions to— Rufio: A joke that doesn't suck? savouring Kojiro's touch as if it were to be his last. Yuffie: So wait, now she's fantasizing that he'll, like, drop dead after this? Rufio: I'm fantasizing that he'll drop dead right now. Uncreativity: That would make for an interesting plot twist. KOS-MOS: *charging an R Cannon at James* I could exterminate this one, if it will make you feel better. James: *squeals in fear and hides behind Yuffie* Yuffie: H-hey! You know she shoots right through people! Get out there and die like a man! James: No! *clings* Rufio: Just shut up and finish the goddamn fic like civilized people before I'm forced to kill you all! >_<** "Oh, Koji-sama." Musashi breathed, gripping the young bishonen's hair. James: NOT THE HAIR! "What about the hot tub?" Musashi remebered. Rufio: Maybe we should move the hair dryer a little closer before we get in. Oh, don't bother unplugging it. James: I'm telling you, it won't make a difference... "What about it?" Kojiro replied,not caring at all. Yuffie: Shouldn't you take it out of your bag before it leaks through? Rufio: That joke wasn't funny the first time you made it, woodchuck. Yuffie: >_< *makes mental note to steal his wallet* He continued to suckle Musashi more intensly, Excel: What is she, a Miltank? James: *chuckles* Excel: No, seriously. I'm thirsty. James: ...*moves even farther away, if that's possible* as his hand flowed downward to her panties, Uncreativity: What's his hand made of, water? Excel: Chocoate pudding? James: Ribbons? KOS-MOS: Nanomachines? sliding them off gently as they fell to the floor. Rufio: If they're already falling to the floor, logically speaking, there's no need to slide them. Uncreativity: You're supposed to read what the fic means, not what it says. Rufio: Ah. Silly me. Kojiro wrapped his arms around Musashi Rufio: Comma. lying her on the bathroom floor Rufio: Comma. crawling on top of her, Rufio: Thank you. sucking her breast immensly, Rufio: Start a new damn sentence already! >_< Yuffie: *ignoring Rufio* Sheesh. You'd think he's trying to suck the whole thing right off. Excel: I saw that on TV once. letting his right had slide between her thighs. Uncreativity: PH33R TEH EROTIK P0W3R OF KOJ1R'OS RITE HAD!!!!11 Rufio: Stop that. Excel: His right had to what? Did it have to declare its presence? Was it his right to not be in a bad fic like this? James: If there's a country with that right in its constitution, I'm joining. -_- Musashi made deep breathing sounds as Kojiro touched her, Uncreativity: *poking Musashi's brain with a scalpel* Hey, if you touch her here, she makes her make funny noises! James: *poking Musashi's brain with a scalpel* Ah, the frontal lobe, the seat of good manners... she won't miss it. her sounds increased as she felt his fingers slide into her wet folds, and began to fondle her needy clit. KOS-MOS: That seems an inefficient place to put one's volume control. Kojiro enjoyed the excitement he was creating for Musashi, her sounds and persperation were evedence he was arousing her, he wanted nothing more than to please his Musashi-sama. Yuffie: And steal Pikachu. Excel: And find an inexpensive all-you-can-eat buffet. *drools at the thought of it* Rufio: And make bad jokes, even though he's refrained from them through the entire fanfic. James: *helpfully* And look good! You forgot that I want to look good. "Ne,Koji...Don't stop." Musashi gasped,tingling from Kojiro's touch. Excel: But alas, her fantasy was over and she looked up to see Il Pa— I mean, Kojiro holding the rope. Kojiro licked the tip of Musashi's Yuffie: Delicious ice-cream cone. breast, sliding his mouth off and letting his tongue trail down Musashi's stomach. He held her legs wide apart with his hands Rufio: Snap 'er like a wishbone, James! End the suffering! allowing his tongue to slide between her vaginal lips and began to suck her clit gently. Excel: KOJIRO wants to battle! Uncreativity: KOJIRO sent out LICKITUNG! Excel: CLOISTER, go! Both: *laugh immaturely* Rufio: You know, you could have gone this whole fic without making any Pokemon references whatsoever. Uncreativity: What, like the fic itself? Rufio: It is a sex fic. Would you rather have the little buggers in there? Uncreativity & Excel: *in unison* Well, actually... Rufio: NO! Don't answer that! I don't want to know! >_< Kojiro was happy that Musashi was enjoying him. Uncreativity: Was she now? Rufio: Well, of course, it just said so. Uncreativity: Well, yeah, but it makes you wonder. Is she really enjoying him, or does he just think so? It's very presumptuous of him. He could be doing it all wrong. Excel: Perhaps we could have him give a practical demonstration... James: I don't like where this is going... -_-;; Rufio: Don't worry, James. If she gets any closer, I'll shoot her. James: My hero! <3 Rufio: ...you don't get any closer, either. He was sure enjoying her, the smell, the taste of her was almost over whelming. Uncreativity: Is it just me, or does that not sound as enjoyable as Jimmy makes it out to be? Excel? Excel: Not even I'm touchin' this one. In all the years he had known Musashi, they had shared many moments together, and now they could share this as well. Excel: *eating out of a can* Corn, anybody? It's creamed. Uncreativity: If you know somebody for years, wouldn't it be inevitable that you share many moments together? Rufio: You'd be surprised. Guess how often I call my foster mother, clones, best friend, girlfriend, good twin... Uncreativity: I don't think James is as much of a jackass as you. Rufio: Shut up. Kojiro felt he was not close enough to his precious Musa-chan. Uncreativity: Whereas I feel that he couldn't get much closer. He felt his passion, love, desire, was about to burst out of him. Excel: *whips out a stethoscope* Actually, Koji, I'd say those are the malevolent alien eggs maturing in your stomach. Soon you'll be the proud mother to a litter of healthy baby Puchu! But you'll also be dead. Very dead. Suppressed feelings for Musashi were now being released and how good that made him feel. Yuffie: I love how he unsupresses feelings for her NOW. "Gosh, I guess I like Musashi after all!" He could now treat Musashi the way he had been wanting to treat her for a long time. Rufio: Like the dirty whore she was! James: *smacks Fifi, albeit girlishly* Yuffie: How totally sweet! He's standing up for his female lover! Who's female! Fe-male! James: You guys are mean. *sulk* Kojiro released his mouth from Musashi's clitoris KOS-MOS: Clitoris lock disengaged. Mouth will be released. resting his head on Musashi's stomach, kissing her navel softly. Excel: *suddenly has a microphone for some reason* Now that James has demonstrated his skill as a cunning linguist, we've got a bit more compulsory fluff lined up, followed by his own consequential fluffing up, which all leads up to an inevitable series of nonstop orgasms for both parties. It's a fluff sundae with a popped cherry on top. What do you think about that, KOS-CHAN? *holds the mic out for KOS-MOS* KOS-MOS: There is a 93% chance that the author will use the word 'Aishiteru' at the end of this story, a 4% chance that she meant to use that word but forgot it, a 3.999998% chance that she does not know the word, and a .000002% chance that she refrained because of the idea that an English-based story should not be saturated with random Japanese words. He took his single red rose, Yuffie: You know, I've always wondered how you can keep that one rose alive for so long, and whether the techniques would be applicable towards other plants, like, hypothetically speaking, opium poppies. *whips out notebook* Rufio: Don't be dumb. It's probably made of plastic. It's made of plastic, isn't it? James: I bought it at Tuxedo Mask's garage sale. and rubbed it over her body, letting its soft petals trail down her cheek, past her neck, over her large breasts, past her stomach, and between her folds. Rufio: Oh, for the love... just hump the damn woman already! Kojiro then lifted the rose to his face, seeing Musashi's secretions glisten on its red petals. Rufio: *getting to be quite agitated* I wanna get out of here at a reasonable time! I've got a date tonight! Just cut the crap and let's get to the sex! Uncreativity: Whoa, Fifs, don't use up your best line before that date. Rufio: *shoots her again* He breathed in the scent of the rose, mixed with Musashi's scent, it was enought to make his head spin. Excel: *head spinning* Lick me, lick me! Yuffie: Um... how are you doing that? ^^;; Excel: Excel prefers not to think too deeply on it. As he moved upward to Musashi's face and kissed her sofly on the lips. "My Koji, you are quite the lover,ne?" Musashi told him."But now its my turn." Rufio: That's right! It's my turn to pleasure you, as all women love to volunteer to do! Yuffie: Whoa, bitter much? You sound like Barret. Rufio: *shoots her* I pity da fool makes fun of Rufio Palazzo. Musashi crawled on top of her lavender James: Blue. haired bishonen, kissing his mouth long and hard. Kojiro reclined against the bathroom wall as Musashi kissed him, sucking on his tongue a little. Excel: Not a lot, but a little. Yuffie: Um... what? KOS-MOS: *who secretly thinks she's not getting enough lines* Who is Tongueless Joe? Excel: Excel made him up in one of her more acute moments of delusion. ^^;; KOS-MOS: I see. And how does he talk if he doesn't have a tongue? Excel: Well, that was more of an inner monologue, really. Or maybe he has psionic abilities. Yeah, and he's the handsomest tongueless man in his tribe, who makes all the women fall for him, and yet he is distraught with woe, being tongueless and all. Uncreativity: Damn it, Excel, this fic is bad enough without you trying to add a Mary Sue into it! >_< Excel: Just you wait til he saves us all from the tongue-controlling aliens! Rufio: Look, if you can't think of a real joke, keep your damn mouth shut. My IQ is going down just listening to you! James: Would you guys keep it down? I'm trying to read the horrible fanfic about how sexy and dripping with testosterone I am! All: ... Musashi placed her hands on Kojiro's firm shoulders, she released her mouth from his, and trailed her tongue down his neck, onto his chest tickling his nipples with her tongue. James: Damn you, Jessie, you know I'm ticklish! As Kojiro made slow breathing sounds, and this made Musashi feel good, for she knew she was pleasing to him. Uncreativity: ' Do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.' Hebrews 13:16. Yuffie: You're totally going to hell. Rufio: At least in hell I didn't have to read bad fanfic. *realizes something* Though I probably will next time. -_- Musashi continued to caress Kojiro with her mouth, leading down to his stomach, she lightly kissed his navel, letting her tongue swerve around in it. Rufio: He kisses her navel, she kisses his navel... is anybody else really, really bored? She moved her hands from Kojiro's shoulders sliding them down his fine body, Yuffie: *singing* Oh Jamesy, you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind... Uncreativity: This fic blows my mind. Rufio: It makes me wanna blow my brains out. resting her left hand on his side, but continued sliding her right hand downward and between his thighs. Excel: *has the chef's hat again* Now, again, when you're working with the thighs, you want to make sure that your juices are flo— All: NO! Uncreativity: We really need to get one of those trap doors installed. James: *helpfully* I'm an expert at hole-digging! Kojiro moaned a little louder as Musashi took his penis in her hand and gently stroked it. "Oh, Musa-chan!" Kojiro moaned in ecstasy. Rufio: *who has that look on his face that very plainly shows how clever he thinks what he's about to say is* I used to think all he did was bitch and moan, but now I see he just moans while doing a— Uncreativity: No! *smacks him on the nose with a newspaper* Bad Fifi! Rufio: ... Uncreativity: Now apologize. Rufio: ... *shoots her* Musashi continued to stroke his now hard member, she was now enjoying the pleasurable moans coming from Kojiro, she placed her hand around the large organ and gripped it gently as she worked her hand up and down. Excel: She's an organ-grinder. Uncreativity: And his little monkey dances to the music. Yuffie: And picks the pockets of naive tourists? Rufio: The only pocket that monkey's gonna be picking is Jessie's. Uncreativity: And possibly Ash's, if there's a sequel. -_-;; This created a new excitement for both Kojiro and Musashi, she could hear Kojiro's moans become cries as she masturbated him. Uncreativity: You know, I've got a friend who theorizes that the author feels she has to use Japanese names to rationalize writing bad sex scenes about a show intended for preteens. Yuffie: Makes sense. Uncreativity: At least it's not a self-insertion. I really hate those. Yuffie: *large sweatdrop* Uncreativity: *senses her concern* Oh, don't worry. I can write anything I want and it's good. ^_^v Yeah, I'm great, I—aaah! *ducks ninja stars* "1Oh! God!" Kojiro cried, gritting his teeth sharply. Uncreativity: 2Ah! Goddess! James: 3Eek! Non-Gender-Specific Magical Deity! Rufio: 4Bad! Jokes! Excel: 5All! Of the above! And possibly also some demon-tentacle porn, in addition! As Musashi seemed to move her hand faster and harder. Excel: 'Work smarter, not harder.' Yuffie: Does Il Palazzo say that? Excel: No, he usually just pulls the rope and sends me falling to some sort of horrible, painful punishment. But he means that. And also 'I love you, Excel-kun.' I'm sure he means that, too. Kojiro was now beginning to feel his orgasm coming on stronger now. Yuffie: Much like our gag reflexes. As Musashi pumped harder with her hand, Kojiro could feel the pressure, as his semen poured out along the tiled floor. Excel: 38% of it landed on a white tile, and the remaining percentage was split between two black tiles. Uncreativity: Meanwhile, James's large yet lovely organ exploded due to the extreme pressure. Rufio: They did not bother to clean it up... after all, that was housekeeping's job! Musashi giggled mischievously lowering her head to Kojiro's rock hard shaft. She examined it before engulfing the tip of it into her mouth. Uncreativity: Kojiro's shaft has performed Rock Slide! Excel: It's super-effective! She wrinkled her nose at the salty taste as the semen leaked slightly onto her tongue. Excel: I prefer my semen pizza flavor! Uncreativity: Scientific Erotican strikes again! Rufio: Obscure much? Uncreativity: Bite us. Musashi decided to take her time with this one, no sense in rushing into things. Musashi flicked her tongue over Kojiro's shaft, trying to hold back the gagging reflex. Uncreativity: Ah, yes, because it's just wonderful to prolong all that gagging. She could hear the sweet moans coming from the bishonen. Kojiro placed his hands around Musashi's head curling her firey maine around his fingers. Yuffie: *turns to James* If you really think that Jessie owns Maine, I've got beachfront property in Midgar to sell ya. ^_^ James: Really? "M-My, l-lovely Mu-Musa-chan."Kojiro moaned. "So g-good to m-me." Yuffie: G-gawd-damn, it's c-c-cold in h-here... Excel: It's n-no wonder our n-nipples are s-so h-hard... Musashi began to take in more of Kojiro's member, trying her best not to choke. She nibbled on it slightly careful not to hurt Kojiro. Excel: *evil glint in her eye* Chomp! Chomp! Chomp! James: *pale* Please do not joke about that. She moved her right hand around Kojiro's penis and began to fondle his genitals with her long fingernails. Which made Kojiro's moans go into a frenzy. Uncreativity: Who do you think would win in a fight, the large breats or the frenzied moans? Yuffie: *thoughtfully* You know, 'frenzied moans' sounds a lot less dorky than 'moans go into a frenzy'. Uncreativity: *nods* I confess, it's hard to capture the sheer dorkiness of this fic. I'm considering it an ongoing battle. Rufio: If you ask me, it's a battle you've already won. Musashi's Jessie's touch was like a heaven on earth, and Kojiro James never wanted her to stop, because he loved it and her too much. Rufio: *puts away his red marker* There! ^_^ Uncreativity: Okay, you fixed the grammar. Now fix the writing. Rufio: What do I look like, God? "I-I'm almost there Mu-Musashi." Kojiro told her. Yuffie: *whips out the PHS she swiped from Cloud* So I'm gonna h-hang up now, 'cause I'm going through a t-tunnel and I think I'm losing the si-ig-n-a-l... Kojiro could feel another orgasm coming on strongly than before, the pressure was to intense, and the feeling so divine, he knew he couldn't hold it in much longer. Yuffie: Duck an' cover, he's gonna blow! Excel: Isn't that her job? *rimshot* All: *groan* James: *pats Excel comfortingly* Nobody appreciates a good play on words these days. Musashi could taste Kojiro's semen as it began to flow out his hard shaft, and she found this quite arousing. Uncreativity: That's funny. She was gagging before. She removed her mouth slowly off the throbbing penis and looked into Kojiro's emeral eyes, Excel: *puts the chef hat back on* Next, on Essence of Emeral, we'll be discussing the proper way to baste a throbbing pen— All: Very no! he looked so beautiful whilst cuming. James: Thy beauty hath made me effeminate, and in my temper soften'd valour's steel! Yuffie: Um... what? James: I thought we were talking like Shakespeare now. Yuffie: I don't think 'whilst cumming' constitutes Shakespeare, Jimmy. -_-;; "I've never seen sperm in real life before." Musashi said. Excel: Just on the bukkake channel. Uncreativity: *pulls out a microscope to get a better look* "Well, you see it now." replied Kojiro, feeling a bit shaky. Rufio: *snicker* He'd never seen sperm in real life, either. Excel: I dunno, he strikes me as the uke sort... Uncreativity: That doesn't mean he'd actually see the sperm, per se. James: *blushing, whips out a shovel* That's it. I'm digging my way out. KOS-MOS: As we are currently situated in deep space, puncturing the floor is inadvisable. *takes away the shovel* James: ;_; Kojiro leaned forward taking Musashi in his arms, lying her back down on the tiled floor, kissing her neck passionately. Rufio: You know it's bad when you're already ready to fall asleep and they haven't even started screwing yet. Uncreativity: Seriously. Next time, I'm bringing my Game Boy Advance. "I need you so much, I want you Kojiro, and only you." Musashi told him. Rufio: God, this drivel is like something straight out of some crap chick-flick. Excel: Or those dating games where the guy ends up with his sister. At least, in my case, he'd better end up with his sister... Uncreativity: Or Matrix: Reloaded. Yuffie: Or any Final Fantasy. Ever. Excel: You're just jealous because Cloud didn't invite you back to his hotel room after the gondola sce— *is killed by shiruken* "Do you love me Musa-chan?" Kojiro asked her. Yuffie: Gawd, needy much? She just said so! "Hai." Musashi replied. "With all I am." Excel: Except for my little toe. It doesn't love you all that much. I think because you stepped on it last week. But hey, you know what they say, 'If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away!' *whips out a machete* All: *sweatdrop* Rufio: Gimme that. *snatches the machete* No more weapons for you. *grin* They're for me! KOS-MOS: *snatches the machete and stabs Fifi with it* ......he was a threat. Uncreativity: Fifi's not a threat to anybody, and you know it. I think he was just getting on your nerves. KOS-MOS: Perhaps I should reevaluate your level of threat... Uncreativity: *whimper* I'll be good. "Then thats all I need to know." Kojiro added. Yuffie: Ooooh, and he doesn't even say 'I love you' back! What a jerk! He sat up and grabbed the small red wrapper on the side of the hot tub and tore it open pulling out a Uncreativity: Cherry Starburst. James: I think that comes later. *ducks projectiles* small round latex pouch. Rufio: A condom. Call it a condom. You've used the word 'hard' a hundred times; nobody will be disappointed if you use 'condom' twice. He placed the latex pouch over his shaft, and began to roll the latex over his cock, covering it. Rufio: *even more sarcastic than usual* Oh, thank you for the informative lecture. We would have been totally lost without it. Uncreativity: Now, class, you give it a try on these helpful bananas! Excel: *perks up* Bananas? Kojiro did not want to get Musashi pregnant. At least not yet anyway. Rufio: He'd wait til tomorrow! He got back on top of her and straddled her thighs, looking into her sapphire eyes, as if trying to see regret in them, and it was not there, which made him very happy. Uncreativity: He saw what he always saw when he gazed adoringly into her eyes, something that he loved more than anything... a little mirror image of himself! James: Hi me! ^_^ *waves* He took his hard penis in his hand and guided it to the entrence of Musashi's wet tunnel, she jumped a little, Kojiro looked at Musashi once more. "Are you sure?" Kojiro asked, making sure Musashi was willing. Rufio: Actually, I think I've changed my mind. But we can still be friends, right? "Hai." She answered. "Make love to me, Koji." All: Awww... Excel: That's touching, you know? Gets you right here. *points to James's crotch* James: Stop that. Then with no more delay he pushed the head into her warm tightness, and began to pump slowly careful not to hurt Musashi, since she was still a virgin. KOS-MOS: Her virginity has already been established. Excel: Under redundancy, see redundancy. Kojiro on the other hand, was not. All but James: *burst into irrepressible laughter* James: Hey! ;_; He had given hisself away a while back to a girl who did not appreciate it, Rufio: Well, I'd really appriciate it if you proofread your e-mails before you sent them to me! Uncreativity: But she spelled 'appreciate' right, Fifi. Rufio: 'HISSELF.' Uncreativity: ...touché. and he regreted it miserably. James: I'm confused here... Uncreativity: Maybe Lady Suicide is referring to Jessebelle? James: *jumps in fear at the name* Don't even joke about things like that! O.O He had been hurt by girls twice in his life, they never cared about him or really loved him, James: Okay, the ghost on Maiden's Peak is one, and the other one... the other one must be my mother! *breaks into sobs* Why didn't you love meeeee... they just used him as a girly toy. James: *stops sobbing in order to be properly confused* Girly toy? Rufio: I think she means "Barbie doll" James: Oooooh! ^_^ That makes much more sense. But he knew Musashi was not like that. Yuffie: Musashi would use him for slave labor as well! He knew she appreciated his love and performance. And he wanted nothing more than to make love to Musashi, because Musashi was looking for more than just a good time. Rufio: This woman has no concept of when to break up the paragraphs. Excel: Not that you can tell with all our butting in. Our good intentions are marred by our youthful exuberance, that's what Il Palazzo-sama would say. Uncreativity: Look at it this way, at least it IS broken up into paragraphs. All: *murmur agreements* She loved him for he was and not what she could get out of him. Rufio: This was, most likely, because she could get nothing worthwhile out of him. Kojiro continued to pump slowly Uncreativity: Hurry it up, James! We have to get the Meowth-head balloon filled before the twerps show up! working his hard cock deeper into Musashi's tunnel, as she gripped his shoulder's trying to bear the pain and pleasure she was feeling right now. KOS-MOS: If she is feeling that pain and pleasure now, why would she have to bear it then? Yuffie: Maybe her tunnel is, like, a time tunnel. "Ahhhhh! Koji-sama!" Musashi cried, tears almost coming out of her eyes. KOS-MOS: Where else would they come out? Uncreativity: Trust me, you don't wanna ask... Kojiro did his best to take care of her body, although Musashi's cries made him want to go faster. All: *turn on James all over again* Uncreativity: So, her pain gets you off, eh? Excel: You are sadistic and contemptable and are you free Friday night? Aiiee, no, I have Il Palazzo-sama! *clutches head* Yuffie: I'm ashamed to be in the same union as you! Rufio: I don't think the Thieves' Guild is a legitimate union. But acting on impulse he started to pump faster as his throbbing member slid into her further, bursting her cherry as she cried out in pain feeling the stinging sensation as Kojiro dug deeper into her. Rufio: I think this sentence deserves an award. Uncreativity: The 'Worst Sentence Ever' award? Rufio: ...yes. *glares viciously at UC for stealing his joke* Uncreativity: Come on, Fifs, that one was pretty obvious. Her cries were constant as Kojiro intamately became one with her. Rufio: Anybody else reminded of the movie 'Kids?' All: ... Musashi wrapped her legs around Kojiro's back, pulling him towards her, making his member thrust harder into her going in and out. Uncreativity: Into, in, and out, you say? Excel: In one end and out the other. Rufio: *conversationally* So, how long do you think it'll be before this turns into a vore scat mutilation fic? Yuffie: Grossness! Are you trying to make me barf? Rufio: Maybe we should take bets. Yuffie: *instantly* 20 gil on six sentences. "I love you, Musa-chan." Kojiro breathed, kissing her long and hard. Rufio: Those other girls meant nothing to me! Excel: Great! Me neither! Musashi loved the way Kojiro was rythmic with his movements, its as if it was steady as a heartbeat. Musashi ran her fingers through Kojiro's perspired lavender hair. Yuffie: *shoots James a funny look* You perspire hair? James: If I did, it wouldn't be lavender, that's for sure. *sulks* As she felt her secretions leaking out of her. Yuffie: Maybe she's trying to perspire up some hair. Musashi, now, acting on impulse held Kojiro to her fliping them over so she was on top of him. "So full of surprises, aren't you my love?" Kojiro coaxed her. James: What on earth am I talking about? I'm surprised she didn't do that earlier! Uncreativity: With the strap-on, right? James: Ri—hey! Excel: Maybe that's what he's trying to coax her into doing. Musashi began to pump herself, trying to see if Kojiro's cock would sink in deeper. Rufio: Think she's really just an inflatable doll, and this whole thing has been Kojiro's twisted fantasy? Uncreativity: That'd explain the gender roles thus far. Kojiro whinced as Musashi pressed firmly on his sex. He put his hands on her soft smooth ass gripping it firmly. Yuffie: What would you say your hips are, Jess, twenty-four inches or so? Excel: I wish I could say the same about your sex, Jimmy. Musashi loved the little kawaii sounds Kojiro made, Excel: Bulba... bulbasaauuur... Rufio: I dunno, she's the one with the sore vul— Uncreativity: *smacks Rufio with a rolled-up newspaper* Bad! along with the beautiful expression on his face. Uncreativity: *drawing* What do you wanna bet the 'beautiful expression' looks like this: ? Excel: *thoughtfully* Excel would have drawn him a little more constipated. Uncreativity: Actually, I just sketched what he looks like right now. *points to James* "I love you too, Kojiro." Musashi coaxed him. "My bishonen." "I'm your bishonen?" Kojiro questioned. Uncreativity I thought you were the bishonen. "Always, Koji-sama." Musashi reasured. "Always." James: *in his Double Trouble voice* I'm always the man! All: *laugh* "Rocketto Dan Yo I En, Musa-chan." Kojiro added. Rufio: Okay... first it's 'Rocket Dan', and now it's 'Rocketto Dan'. Engrishier and Engrishier. Would it kill her to call it Team Rocket? I bet she's never seen a Japanese episode of Pocket Monsters in her life. KOS-MOS: Considering the characterization thus far, it is unlikely that she has seen any Pokemon at all. Uncreativity: For those not in the know, 'Rocketto Dan Yo Eien Ni' is Team Rocket's Japanese theme song. Means 'Team Rocket Forever' or something like that. *proudly* I used to be able to sing it by heart. ^_^ Yuffie: That's, like, not really something to be proud of... As Musashi continued to pump up and down against his shuddering need. Kojiro could feel his pressure level building again. Excel: My pressure levels are over one million! Uncreativity: Oh yeah? Well, my pressure levels are over two million! And I have the power to go super-Saiyan! "Faster! Musashi!" Kojiro said, as Musashi obeyed him. James: Yeah, right. Jessie wouldn't obey me if her life depended on it. For example, she won't help dig the hole faster when I ask... in fact, usually she won't help dig the hole at all. All: ... Musashi increased the rythm of her pumping, causing Kojiro's ejection to flow freely. Musashi saw how beautiful he looked in this state. Excel: Kansas? James: *giggle* All but James: *groan and throw things at Excel's head* Kojiro wasn't very bright on somethings, but he knew how to please a woman. James: Pleasing women is pretty easy. All you have to do is buy them new shoes! ^_^ "Musachan?" Kojiro said. Rufio: Be a brave little fencer and go get me a beer, will you? Uncreativity: *thwaps him on general principle* "Hai." Musashi replied, slowing her rythm down. Uncreativity: *gasp* You can't lose the rhythm! Excel: U Screwin' Bad "Promise me something." He added. Rufio: Let's see... 5+7 is... 9! James: HEY! Even I know it's 13! "Nani, Kojiro?" Musashi wondered. Excel: Next, on Fox, the adventures of NanoKojiro, the miniature superhero samurai! All: No. "Promise me you'll always love me." Kojiro told her. "And that we'll have many nights like this one." Rufio: Silly James. Everybody knows promises made mid-coitus don't count. Girls: *glare at Rufio* Rufio: What? They don't! "I promise, Koji." Musashi responded. "I love you." Rufio: Aishiteru, Koji-samaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Uncreativity: Stop that. Kojiro smiled, and flipped him and Musashi over so he was on top of her again. He carefuly slid hisself out of her, removing the condom from his still hard cock. Rufio: 'Hisself.' *twitch* Yuffie: Gawd, are you already on that again? KOS-MOS: Drop the firearm. "God, I hate those things." Kojiro complained. Excel: They never blow up as big as regular balloons! ;_; Rufio: Hey, check it out! They're finally done! ^_^ He took Musashi's bottle of KY gel, and poured some onto his two fingers. Rufio: *swears incoherently* Musashi looked at him strangely. "What are you doing, Kojiro?" Musashi wanted to know. James: That's my KY! Get your own! Kojiro just grinned and never said a word, Musashi was trying to figure out what he was about to do, then it hit her. he had taken off his condom and poured the KY onto his finger, Yuffie: So it was must be time to enact their master plan to steal Pikachu! KOS-MOS: You are thinking wishfully again. Yuffie: What does it matter now? I don't think this fic could get much worse. analy was the only possibitlty it could be. Yuffie: I spoke too soon. -_-;; Rufio: She's the one who brought the lube in the first place! What did she think they were gonna do with it, make PB&KY sandwiches? Uncreativity: Damn it all, how many times do I have to say that it was for her strap— All: WE KNOW! "Kojiro, I dunno about this one?" Musashi questioned. KOS-MOS: That is not a question. "If you don't want to we won't do it then, if it makes you feel uncomfortable." Kojiro said. Rufio: While giving her the big 'you'll do it if you REALLY loved me' eyes. "Have you ever done it before?" Musashi asked him. Excel: Not on the giving end. "Ne, but I wanted to with you." Kojiro told her. Excel: And it's not just 'cause I couldn't get Tracey... James: *sigh* You're just sick, you know it? "We can try it, I guess, I might like it, ya' never know." Musashi said. Uncreativity: Or it might be HORRIBLY PAINFUL, but hey, as long as I'm already sore! James: Is it just me, or is she talking a little like Meowth there? All: ... "Recline against me, Musashi." Kojiro told her. James: My mother always did call me a lazy boy. *rimshot* Musashi rested against Kojiro's chest, lying her head on his shoulder. Kojiro wrapped his arm around her so she wouldn't figeot. James: So she wouldn't Pigeot? I always saw her as more of a Krabby myself. *rimshot* He carefuly placed his two greased fingers between her cheeks and pushed them up into her, causing Musashi to let out a loud whimper. Yuffie: I'd whimper, too, if someone was stickin' their greasy fingers up my nose. All: ... Yuffie: I'm trying to pretend here! >_< "My lovely Musa-chan." Kojiro soothed her, greasing her dry hole. He continued to do so until it was soft and slick, then he carefuly lubed the entrance and removed his fingers, kissing Musashi's neck at the same time. Uncreativity: I guess you gotta give this fic points for its completeness. I wonder which orifice he'll go for next. Rufio: I don't want to wonder. Musashi felt Kojiro open her cheeks and place his penis at the entrance of her anal. Rufio: Her anal what, personality?. Uncreativity: She's not you. Musashi held her breathe as he thrust into her. Which made her welch out in agony. Rufio: 'Welch?' Yuffie: Like the grape juice? Uncreativity: *has the dictionary out again* Welch: to swindle a person by not paying a debt or wager, or to fail to fulfill an obligation. Rufio: Ah, of course. It makes perfect sense in the context. "Ko-Kojiro I don't think I can go this route." Musashi told him, her speech slured from pain. Excel: What a horrible example of today's ungrateful society! Why, I would be delighted if Il Palazzo-sama were to indulge me in anal sex, or any other kind of sex, for that matter, even the weird kinky stuff out of doujinshi! "It'll start feeling good in a moment Musashi." Kojiro told her. "Just relax and enjoy the ride." Rufio: That's right, bitch, shut your mouth and take it! Moments later Musashi realized Kojiro was right, it did feel good, but the other way felt better. Uncreativity: Well, yeah, duh, unless she has a prostate hidden up in there somewhere. James: You never know with Jessie. *pause* Please don't tell her I said that. But as long as Kojiro making love to her, she had no preference. KOS-MOS: But it just said that she preferred the other way. Rufio: See, the thing is, she tells him she has no preference, when really she decides to secretly harbor a grudge against him for the rest of his life, or maybe she just files it away as an excuse to break up with him later... Kojiro moved gracefuly in and out of her, massaging her nipples as he performed for her. Uncreativity: Look at me! I'm the ballerina nipple masseus! Wheee! Yuffie: ...you get weirder every day, U. Their love making continued on for hours as both Kojiro collasped on top of Musashi unable to continue. Excel: Wait. Excel is confused. There were two of Kojiro? It was a 3P after all? KOS-MOS: That would explain his excessive stamina. They made their way into the hot tub relaxing to the warm water and the feel of the bubbles rub against their bodies. Excel: Ow! The bubbles are rubbing us raw! Musashi was so comfortable and tired, she fell asleep against Kojiro. Kojiro just leaned against the hot tub, letting the water and bubbles over take his senses. Yuffie: Hey! Give those back! Excel: *after taking over his senses* It is not we who will rule Kojiro's senses, it is I, i.e. Mojo Jojo, who is not Bubbles, who shall rule Kojiro's senses alone, which is to say without anybody else, and without anybody else, shall I rule Kojiro's senses! And when Kojiro's senses are ruled by one person; not a collective group but one person who is ruling Kojiro's senses, it will be none other than ME, Il Pa— I mean, MOJO JOJO! Uncreativity: Ahahahaha! I told you I was hardcore! "It feels good to have someone love you." Uncreativity: That's easy for you to say. You can still sit down. Uncreativity: You know, this fanfic was pretty informative. Yuffie: Yeah! We learned how much of a sexual predator James is. Rufio: You know he's just gonna play with her long enough to knock her up, then dump her and go seduce Misty. Excel: Excel is marking him on the list of people who need to be punished when Il Palazzo-sama conquers the universe. KOS-MOS: I don't think that he'll be any danger. *motions to the corner* James: *rocking back and forth* Lavender. Blue. Lavender. Blue.