Play MSTy For Me Fuck it; I hate AAML. And young children. Hell, someone even said that I don't like anything, but that I just have different degrees of hate. Thankyou for that kind thought. I have guys outside your place monitoring you. Anyway, on with the MSTing. MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATRE 3000 presents FEELINGS, an AAML FIC. Commentary by Ash, Brock and Misty ************************************************************************ ********************************************************* *** MISTY: Hey, Ash. ASH: Yo Mist. What we doin tonight? MISTY: Doing a MST of some gayass AAML. ASH: What is it with AAML anyway? It is like, sooooooo gay. MISTY: You reckon! Anyway, on with the show. ASH: Damn it. Some mushy romace, and I just ate. MISTY: Hold in the vomit till the end. *** Well, our favorite trio has done it again. Thanks to Brock's less-than-stellar mapreading abilities, the group has gotten hopelessly lost. In yet another massive, unnamed forest. Again. *** MISTY: You have a problem with Brock's map-reading skills? ASH: I think they're pretty good, considering how small his eyes are. BROCK: It's called ethnicity, dingus! *** The silver moon shone brightly upon the four wayward trainers. The clouds from the earlier storm had long since blown away, exposing a dark sky full of beautiful, twinkling stars. Ash, Misty, and Brock had been chatting happily and laughing away for quite some time. Although the night was still young, the day's toils had taken quite a toll on them. Brock had born the brunt of the day's troubles, and not getting enough sleep the night before certainly didn't help matters at all. He decided to retire for the night, although he knew the other two trainers and perhaps Pikachu would be up for quite awhile. *** ASH: What were you doing that prevented you from getting sleep last night, Brock? BROCK: I will never tell. ASH: If you don't, we'll show you that Suzanne Somer's porn. BROCK: DEAR GOD, ANYTHING BUT THAT!!!!! MISTY: So, what the hell did you do? BROCK: Ok, ok. I stalked Brad Pitt for a while, and went home. No big deal. *** As he got up and went over to retrieve his sleeping bag, he heard a hopeful "Pika?" behind him. Brock turned around to see what the Pokemon wanted. Pikachu held up an empty ketchup bottle to Ash. The three trainers knew of Pikachu's little addiction to the condiment. However, it had been at least a week since they had been near a town, and the little guy had run out the day before. Ash sighed as he heard the electric mouse's request for his favorite drink. "Sorry, Pikachu. I'm all out. I promise I'll get you some more whenever we get to where we're heading, but for now.." Pikachu, his ears drooping, let out a disappointed "Chuuu." Ash's heart softened when he saw Pikachu saddened, and realized that he did have some ketchup after all. He had requested some ketchup packets from a certain fast-food store in Cerulean for use in a situation like this. He knew the little guy liked and definitely deserved his ketchup. Ash didn't know exactly why the mouse liked it so much -- the very thought of drinking ketchup almost made him queasy -- but to each his own, he thought. "Hold on, buddy," Ash said as he began rummaging around in his backpack. Seconds later, he turned to Pikachu with a handful of packets that were labelled "Fancy Ketchup." *** MISTY: Aren't the words 'Fancy' and 'Ketchum' contradictory of each other? ASH: It's almost oxymoronic. BROCK: I think he stopped drinking ketchup after he realised how sweet and fulfilling human flesh is. ASH: How do you know it is? BROCK: Uh... after I stalked Brad Pitt, I killed some teenage girls, and ate them. So what? Like you haven't had the urge. *** "Pikapi!" the Pokemon exclaimed as Ash opened the half-dozen packets and squeezed all the ketchup into Pikachu's bottle. Ash smiled and handed the small, quarter-filled squeeze-bottle back to Pikachu. "It's not much, but it's all I have at the moment." Pikachu happily accepted the bottle and began slurping away at the red condiment. He really seemed to like the stuff. Ash made a mental note to pick up some more as soon as they got out of this forest. He also made a note never to let Brock near a map again. It seemed as if they'd been lost for months. *** BROCK: Have not. *** Brock yawned and said good night to the other two trainers. Ash pulled out his diary and began to write, while Misty began to gaze into the campfire. Brock was wondering what was up with Misty. Over the course of the day, seldom did she take her eyes off of Ash. She was also talking to him an awful lot, and never seemed to want to leave his side. He chuckled inwardly at this, knowing what it probably meant. Either she liked him or she wanted something really badly from him. Maybe both. *** ASH: Man, keeping a diary is such a GAY thing to do! Like I would be so sissy. BROCK: But... I ... keep a journal... does this mean... OK, Ok! After Brad Pitt and the cannibalism, I went to see Barbra Streisand in concert! Who gives?! *** Brock shrugged. He didn't want to say anything to Misty yet, and he didn't even know how Ash truly felt anyway. Brock decided to give it time. Besides, he was way too tired to deal with it tonight, so he settled down in his sleeping bag and closed his eyes. *** MISTY: But his eyes are always closed. *** Misty continued to gaze into the campfire, her mind a whirl of emotions and feelings. Her feelings for Ash grew stronger every day, but she could never find the words, nor work up the courage to say anything to him. She didn't even know if he felt the same way. And how would she know that she would not be heartbroken by Ash's response? Perhaps her sisters were right. They seemed to have it all. Sometimes, she even believed that she truly was the "runt of the family" as her sisters so nicely put it. *** MISTY: So what if I'm short! ASH: And flat chested. BROCK: And immature, both physically, emotionally and mentally. ASH: And ugly. BROCK: And unrefined. *** Flashing back to her return to Cerulean.. Ash certainly didn't mind staring at them at all. He had NEVER ogled her like that, which may be good or bad news. The good news was that he wasn't a clone of Brock.. but the bad news was that maybe he didn't love her after all. If he truly was interested, he sure didn't show it. *** ASH: Yes, I do see true love in the future. BROCK: They're meant to be. MISTY: We're made for each other. ASH: It was fate. MISTY: I love you, man! ASH: I love you too, man! *** Misty sighed and glanced up at the sky. What appeared to be a million stars twinkled down at her from far up above. The moon, now high in the sky, shone with a brilliant silver light. "How romantic," she mused. The water trainer began to softly hum a tune taught to her by her mother all those years ago. She didn't want to bother Ash, who was writing in his diary, so she kept the tune barely audible. Lyrics began to flow into her mind to match the tune. She had never been a decent musician, but these words seemed to come out of nowhere, yet they had an enchanting quality. *"Out here in the quiet of the night.. beneath the stars and the moon..* *** MISTY: Never been a decent mucisian!? BROCK: You couldn't even play the tambourine that time at the Wooper preschool! What makes me think you can sing? MISTY: Speak for yourself. *** Misty turned her gaze back to an oblivious Ash. *"We've both got something on our minds.. We don't know it, but it's true..* Ash raised his head, apparently thinking deeply about something. *"You look at me..*" He turned and gazed into Misty's eyes briefly. *** ASH: Puke. Don't you even DARE do this in real life, Misty. MISTY: What am I, a pathetic, hormonal girl? *** "I look away.." Misty quickly looked away and bowed her head, blushing slightly. She stole a glance at Ash, who also seemed to be blushing slightly. And smiling. "*I want to tell you what I'm feeling but I don't know how to start..*" She closed her eyes, wondering where these words were coming from. She couldn't possibly be making these lyrics up. "*I want to tell you what I'm feeling but I'm afraid that you might break my heart..*" A single, glistening tear formed in Misty's eye. She was a strong girl, and not one to cry often. But these feelings were overwhelming. All she wanted was lean close to Ash and say how she felt. But how? "*Oh, why should anything so easy ever be so hard to do?*" *** ASH: Because nothing in life is easy. BROCK: Apart from rolling down a hill in bubblerap. ASH: You remember when we did that back in Pallet? MISTY: That was a damn fine day. *** Feelings of frustration rose up, matching the love she felt. She could say how she felt in three simple words. But lately it had been a monumental task just to even hint at the fact that she loved him. "*I want to tell you what I'm feeling, just to say that..*" She could guess at the words coming up.. "*I love you.*" Misty let the tear fall. She really did love Ash. The words were finally figured out, but how could she bring herself to say them? *** MISTY: By not saying them? Am I really this stupid? ASH/BROCK: Yes. *** Pikachu, having finished his ketchup, noticed Ash ferverntly writing in his diary, and Misty who appeared to be.. crying? Concerned, Pikachu jumped up and let out a worried "Chu?" Misty, suppressing tears, glanced down at the mouse and smiled, patting him on the head. "No, I'm alright. Thanks, though." Ash looked up and looked into Misty's deep blue eyes quickly, then he blinked several times. "Something wrong, l.. er, I mean, Misty?" Misty smiled at him, replying "No, I'm fine. Just doing some deep thinking." "So was I." *** BROCK: The first and last time you will ever hear those words leave Ash's mouth. MISTY: Amen to that, Brother! *** Misty nodded, but inwardly she wondered what he was writing. *** BROCK: What ARE you writing, Ash? ASH: Fuck off. None of your goddamn business! MISTY: Ok, I'm taking off my shirt... BROCK: I knew you'd co-operate in the end, Ashy boy... hey, waitaminute... YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!!!! YOU'RE STEALING MY GODDAMN MUFFIN RECIPE!!!!!! *** The two had sat in silence for some time. Pikachu had curled up into a ball on Ash's sleeping bag and had gone to sleep. Ash finally finished writing and he set the book down, putting it beneath his pillow. "I'm still not all that tired. Are you, Misty?" "No, not too terribly." Ash nodded. He took his cap off and sat on his bag, staring into space. The glow of the fire washed over Ash's face. "He really is handsome," Misty thought. She continued to stare at him, unable to break away. He looked so gorgeous to Misty. At that moment, she wanted nothing more than to throw her arms around the trainer and kiss him full on the mouth. But she refrained. For now. *** MISTY: And forever. BROCK/ASH: Amen. *** "They're beautiful, aren't they?" Ash finally asked. "Huh?" "The stars." Ash clarified. *** MISTY: Just look into this red flashy thing... ASH: Heh, heh heh. BROCK: I can't believe they stole a line from MIB! How wrong is that? ASH: Bastards. Besides, how many bad AAML fics have we seen that in? *** Misty managed to stop staring at Ash long enough to look up at the stars. "Yes, they are.." and continuing in her head "But not nearly as beautiful as you, my love.." "... and romantic." Misty continued out loud. "Yes." Ash replied after a long silence. Misty wondered for a moment if maybe he was having the same problem as she was. *** ASH: If it was a rattlesnake in your shoe, then yes, yes it was. *** Misty got up and approached Ash. She sat on top of his bag right next to him, being careful not to wake the sleeping Pikachu. "Want to look at them together?" Misty blurted out. "Er.. um.. er.. ah... sure, of course!" Ash stammered. Apparently, he didn't spend much time around girls, Misty thought. *** MISTY: Just what is this author implying? *** A growing hope began to flicker within Misty's heart. She didn't want to fan it, for fear it might be false. But nevertheless.. "Maybe," she thought, "just maybe, he knows." Ash and Misty marvelled at the stars for at least a good half hour. During that time, a crazy idea began to form in Misty's head. She figured just holding hands with him was the best way to tell him. Actions speak louder than words, and she figured that this was a gentle way to ease into things. *** MISTY: I beg to differ. My mouth is louder than any action will be. ASH: I can vouch for that. Remember that time in the fog where you wanted to play 'Foghorns'? You pierced my eardrums! MISTY: Don't knock 'Foghorns'! It's the national sport of Mistyland. *** Perhaps being close to Ash for once really loosened her up. Or maybe it was the fact that they had relative privacy. Whatever it was, she felt especially brave and resolute, as if an invisible force was guiding her. Was this really the time? Would she really have a chance to show him how she felt? She put her hand on the ground near his.. and began to slowly inch her fingers towards his palm. The hands became closer... and closer, and closer, and closer. Just as she was about to touch it, Ash unexpectedly reached out and clasped her hand tenderly. How the /heck/ did he know? *** ASH: I didn't know. All I know is I saw her hand reaching into my bag of chips. I paid for those damn chips, Misty! *** Misty, awestruck, couldn't do anything but smile broadly at her new love. "Oh, Ash.." "Misty, you mean so much to me.." Ash began. He blushed even redder than Misty's hair and stopped abruptly. "Er.. um.. uh.." Misty flashed her loveliest smile at Ash. "Go on, sweetie." *** BROCK: Now I think I'll go and hurl up those dead teenage girls I ate last night. *** Ash blushed even a deeper shade of red, which seemed impossible. "I just want you to know... that I.. I.. I love you.. with all my heart." She nearly fainted after hearing this. Since Misty could not possibly answer in words, she decided to let her actions speak for her. The water trainer threw her arms around Ash and pulled him as close as humanly possible. Ash grinned and returned the deed, hugging Misty tightly yet comfortably. *** BROCK: Hugging Misty is never comfortable. ASH: Damn, woman! Your bones keep poking me in the gut! MISTY: At least I don't HAVE a gut, unlike some people! *** The redhead was amazed by the wonderful feelings shooting throughout her whole body. To her, Ash felt so soft.. yet so strong. So warm.. so beautiful.. so lovely.. so kissable. However, she wanted to wait and savor this moment for just a little while longer. After all, she'd only get to experience her first kiss once. The cuddling couple began to rock back and forth ever so slightly. Misty let her head rest on Ash's shoulder, nuzzling his neck oh so gently.. then raised her head and began to move her lips up to Ash's. Just as they were about to touch, she leaned forward into him and kissed him deeply and passionately, letting loose all the love and affection that she had stored up in her heart. Ash began to flail his arms around wildly, but then settled down and began to accept the kiss, letting his hands roam up and down Misty's back. They fell into a laying position, but continued. They didn't mind. *** MISTY: What an unrealistic first kiss. ASH: Hey, Brock, what was your first kiss like? BROCK: I don't want to talk about it. ASH: Was it with... BROCK/MISTY: Don't say that name!!!!! *** "Mmmmm.. Ash, I..." Feeling the need to come up for air, Misty broke the kiss and replied breathlessly, "Ash, I love you too." A shooting star streaked across the sky, accentuating the most important moment in both their lives. But the two were oblivious, after finally finding the love that they had been looking for for so long. After losing themselves in each others' eyes for what appeared to be an eternity, their lips met again in a loving kiss. *** MISTY: A shooting star, huh? BROCK: You know what?! I came to the movies tomight to see a nice, pleasant little romance. If you two kids can't shut the hell up, then leave. ASH: Brock, we're not at the movies. MISTY: Uh oh, looks like someone needs his lobotomy reversed. *** All the commotion had woken Pikachu up, who scampered silently over to Brock and began to whisper pikapi's and chu's into his ear. Brock groggily propped himself up on his elbows, and then he saw it. Ash and Misty on the ground, wrapped in each other's arms, lips locked. At first, he was alarmed. He immediately thought of the consequences if the lovebirds went too far when they were this young. He had a good mind to walk over to them and interrupt them. But he didn't have the heart. If Brock were in Ash's position, he would have hated it. *** ASH: Were you alarmed? BROCK: No, just sickened. *** Brock began to whisper back to Pikachu. "It's alright, I think. But please, watch over them. They're fine now, but if they began to get a little too happy, if you know what I mean, let me know." "Pi." Pikachu hoped that Ash had better self control than he gave the guy credit for. He didn't think Misty would have a problem with it, but he knew that Ash could be as stubborn as an ox. Who knows what would happen if he tried to force something upon her? Brock laid back down inside his bag, giving the couple their privacy back. *** BROCK: Ironically, in the process losing all hope I had for the human race. *** Meanwhile, Misty began to press into Ash, deepening her kiss, which made them both moan slightly. Although they were both overwhelmed by happiness and passion, the couple knew that it would have to end soon and they felt a lingering sadness. The fire was beginning to die down, and they could both feel the air becoming noticeably colder. Ash subtly slid beneath his love and kissed her gently on the neck, which in turn made her shiver slightly and tilt her head back. She said his name, but being in the throes of passion, it was simply a mere whisper carried on the wind. *** MISTY: I faked it. I swear, I was a fakin it. *** "Oh, Ash..." Misty sighed. She hated to leave his arms so much. "We'd better get to sleep. It's starting to get really cold out here." Ash kissed her quickly on the lips. "I understand. Still, I have an idea." Misty got up from on top of Ash, but not before stealing one last smooch. Ash opened his sleeping bag up. It was a bit large for him alone, but it might just be enough to accomodate two people. If, of course, they didn't mind being incredibly close together. *** BROCK: Didn't your parents tell you not to get into sleeping bags with strangers? BASIC COMMON SENSE, PEOPLE!!!!!! *** He slid into his bag, and began to scoot as close to the left side as possible. Sure enough, there was still a decently sized space in there. Ash patted the open space, smiling invitingly at Misty. She managed to slide into Ash's bag without too much difficulty. Misty reached it over and zipped it up, then snuggled up to her love. *** MISTY: If I was snuggling up to a television, then I was snuggling to my love. But other than that, fuck me. BROCK: Ok. *** "Nice and warm in here now," Ash whispered. Misty kissed him on the ear, then nodded. "What if Brock finds us like this in the morning?" Ash shrugged. "It's a small price to pay." "I agree." she replied. *** BROCK: If I'd ound you like that, I would've taken photos and sent them straight to your families. ASH: Thank god this is only a pissy fafiction. *** Misty felt around for Ash's hand. After she finally found it, she squeezed it gently. "You do realize we shouldn't go any further than this... not now, anyway. It's not that I don't love you. Believe me, it's quite the opposite.. um.." Ash silenced her with a tender caress. "I understand. I'm perfectly happy with things the way they are. Besides, isn't waiting until marriage the ultimate act of love?" Ash grinned. *** ASH: I see. We're meant to be. We get married, move into a boring, three bedroom house, have two point five boring kids, you be a housewife, me be a used car salesman, and in ten years time, I'll leave you for some bimbo that I've been boning in secret who's carrying my love child. BROCK: Can you tell my fortune too? ASH: Yes. You will marry a very attractive table lamp. BROCK: Hot damn... wait a minute, did you say lamp? *** Misty smiled, and responded with a quick peck on the lips. "Yep. But there's nothing wrong with snuggling, is there?" *** MISTY: In the day of cooties and Republicans, of course there is. *** "Of course not." Misty smiled gently, yawned, and rested her head on Ash's shoulder. "Good night, my love." "Good night." The two closed their eyes and fell into the sweetest sleep they had ever known. Misty's last thought before she dozed off was how happy she was that Ash loved her in return. No feeling in the world is greater, stronger, or more beautiful than love. They would undoubtedly be in each other's dreams. Dreams of love. Dreams of passion. Dreams of fire. *** ASH: Dreams of murder. MISTY: Speaking of which, can I have my copy of 'Silence of the Lambs' back? ASH: I haven't finished it yet. BROCK: He keeps jacking off to all the crossdressing scenes. ASH: YOU SONOFABITCH!!!!!! You promised not to tell!!!!!!!!! *** A tear fell from Pikachu's eye. Not only were they so much in love, they even agreed to wait for each other. He didn't understand human love all that much, but what he did know was that Ash and Misty were so happy together like that. And frankly, that's all he really wanted to know. *** ASH: Is that the end? MISTY: I hope so. ASH: Well, what was the verdict? BROCK: It sucked ass. MISTY: Crap. ASH: So we're all in agreement. MISTY/BROCK: Yup. ASH: Well, that was a waste of a Saturday night. BROCK: Well, what are we going to do now? MISTY: I don't know. We could always call Jesse and Lames around for some fondue*. BROCK: I'm there. ***