I found it... I FOUND IT! Now I can MST it. For those of you who remember her, Christine was rather infamous on Fanfiction.Net for her horrendous self insertion fics. When the NC-17 fics were removed, this one was lost and I lamented not being able to find it for MST value. I finally got a copy of it after some searching and I can, at least, really let loose. And, just to be nice, I am actually going to give my usual MSTers a break. Vance: Thank god. Stratski: Good, I was beginning to get suicidal over this job. Helmholz: Quick, guys, exit stage left before she changes her mind! Right... ok, then. Sanzo, Gojyo, Hakkai... kindly step up to the plate, please. Sanzo: ... No. Gojyo: I will if there's a beautiful woman involved in there somewhere. Hakkai: Ahahahahaha. Guys, I don't think we're getting a choice in this. No, you aren't. ~ Promised Land ~ by Christine Gojyo: Promise of what? Sanzo: ... Hakkai: We'll find out, I'm sure. Shhh. It was really late in the night. Hakkai: At night, you mean? Gojyo: Well, night might be an object rather than a time of day. Sanzo: Shut up. Lame comments get a bullet. I was sitting on my bed, staring out the window. The dead, leafless trees sitting there in the dark, Sanzo: ... Is the entire story going to be like this? Hakkai: Interesting. I would assume that the trees would be in the dark if it were night out. waiting for the warm rays of sunlight to shine in hours to come. My small heater was going on cold, Gojyo: Sweetheart, if the heater is running cold air, they call it an air conditioner. Hakkai: Certainly not the brightest bulb, is she. sending shivers down my spine here and then. Hakkai: Here and then? It had been a depressing time for me since Gojyo: I realized I couldn't write to save my life. Hakkai: I was getting cold patches here and then, and I just swore I bought a new heater... things were happening that shouldn't have, Sanzo: Such as some random guy holding a gun to my head for writing this kind of crap. Hakkai: Haha. So violent, Sanzo. Sanzo: If this keeps up, someone's going to get shot before the end. such as my two cousins being hospitalized for various, bad reasons. Gojyo: Mysteriously, it happened right after they read one of my new stories. I can't imagine why. The only thing that made this night special, was that I wanted something. Gojyo: A new yoyo. Hakkai: Meatbuns, fresh and steaming. Gojyo and Sanzo: ... Hakkai: I didn't mean it like that! Get your minds out of the gutter! Something I knew I was not worthy nor able to have. Gojyo: But I wanted it anyway. And I'm the author, so I'm gonna get it. I needed his love, his tenderness....his body. Gojyo: Please tell me this is not a Saiyuki fanfic. Please? Hakkai: It's Final Fantasy 7, I think. Gojyo: Whew. I wanted him bad, to satisfy my cravings Gojyo: For twinkies. God I love twinkies. that I knew would not go away untill my dream was fufilled. The name of my savior, my wish..... Sanzo: If she says Gojyo, I will actually laugh, for once. Gojyo: Shut up. Sephiroth. Hakkai: Oh that poor man. " Sigh.....why do I always have to be a mortal stuck with the burden of me being life's bad bitch. Gojyo: Well, for starters... Hakkai: Perhaps you could tone down the melodrama? Sanzo: If she pulls out a thesaurus, it's skee shooting time. I can't stand it anymore. I mean, there's so much going on and... Gojyo: I have no game cartridge to masterbate with! Hakkai: That was /low/. Sanzo: Where did you get that one? Gojyo: Vance was telling me about this girl named Link's Queen and-- Sanzo: *click* Gojyo: Nevermind. a-and I'm c-cold...." I stuttered, shivering through clenched teeth, Hakkai: Well, if you'd stop purchasing air conditioners for the winter months, you wouldn't be having this problem. as I suddenly felt a warm hand on my shoulder. I slowly turned my head, only for my eyes to meet those of the most stunning green. Gojyo: Attack of the plants? Hakkai: Oh, Gojyo... let's not let this turn into a tentacle porn. The eyes that glowed with full Mako energy and power. Hakkai: Heaven forfend it be anything less than full. My heart raced, I could feel my pulse quickening as I stared into...into HIS eyes. Gojyo: Honey, that's not his eyes you're staring at. It was him....I could not believe what I was seeing. Sanzo: I'm sure he was a bit incredulous, too. God, these fangirls are amazingly vapid sometimes. Hakkai: I'm surprised she's so amazed. This is her self insertion fantasy, after all. His slender face, his shining long hair, beautiful body, and mighty grip. Gojyo: Heh, she had to mention the grip. Just had to. He was a god in my eyes, and always would be. Sanzo: Is it over? Hakkai: No, just intermission. Sanzo: Good, meet me out back, we'll leave Gojyo here to finish this. Gojyo: HEY!