Continued from over here: MST of 'Promised Land' by Christine Sanzo: I'll be over here. You two deal with this. Gojyo: Dammit, why can't she have the monkey read this? Hakkai: I wouldn't want Goku reading this, Gojyo. At least our brains can handle it. Gojyo: You sure about that? Hakkai: ... No, not really. " Then let me warm you..." Sanzo: Since you're too stupid to figure out the difference between the cold and hot air settings. Hakkai: My, my, I thought you were over there. Sanzo: Shut up. He smiled mysteriously with a grin on his face. Gojyo: Does anyone else have a hard time picturing this? Hakkai: I'd attempt to replicate this strange expression he was supposedly wearing, but I'm afraid of the results. It seemed to tell me that even though his whole world was full of hatred, that he still had compassion in his heart. Sanzo: It tells /me/ that Sephiroth is just doing this between yaoi doujinshi takes at the comic shop next door. Hakkai: I'd love to know how she comes to this conclusion. I mean, mysterious smiles on grinning faces hardly leads one to any conclusions of compassion. Gojyo: Wow. She's either delusional or her interpretation of 'I'm going to kill you now' is somehow rearranged to mean 'I'm compassionate.' That through the snowstorm there was a small fire, Gojyo: Did you forget to turn off the kerosene again? Hakkai: She doesn't have a kerosene heater, remember? She bought the air conditioner. a small hope that wasn't going to be let go. Gojyo: But can it be crushed under heel? He wasn't wearing much this time. Gojyo: Wait, wait, wait... just how far is this going? Sanzo: I really don't need to know how much he's wearing. Instead of his full regalia, the sexy looking armor that kept his powerborn body from being injured, Gojyo: ... Powerborn? Hakkai: Sexy looking armor? Gojyo: Brace yourselves. I fear where this is going. Hakkai: Well, so long as she doesn't start elaborating on his cod peice, we should be ok. Sanzo: Hakkai, just when I start thinking of you as fairly benign, things like that come flying out of your mouth. Hakkai: Ahahahaha. Well... he was wearing only the bottom half of his soldier uniform. Gojyo: I would say something witty about this, but it's eluding me. Hakkai: It speaks for itself. We need not riff on it. His somewhat tight pants, Gojyo: Only somewhat? Hakkai: Well, just how tight would your pants be if you were in his shoes right now? Gojyo: I'm afraid it would be not at all tight. Sanzo: Coming from you, that's really saying something. was all that was covering his body. His muscular torso was too much for me to handle, too much for my frail body to take. Sanzo: ... Hakkai: Ahaha. Oh my. This is getting melodramatic. Gojyo: I love it when they try to play fragile innocence. I was just merely half melted butter to his hot knife, Gojyo: That was fast... she doesn't waste time, does she. Sanzo: The metaphors are killer. I'm not sure if I want a barf bag or a cigarette right now. being able to just slice right through me. Gojyo: Such an easy spread this one is. Hakkai: Oh, Gojyo... that was horrid. Sanzo: One more crack like that and *bang*. Just the feeling of his soft, yet firm touch on my shoulder was enough to drive me over the edge with lust. Hakkai: Well. Sounds like your kind of girl, Gojyo. Gojyo: Hey, I like them firm but yielding, not any of this desperation crap. He seemed flawless, his silver hair shining in the dim light, his delicate face.... Hakkai: I'm not entirely familiar with Mr. Sephiroth, but I don't think I would ever call him delicate. Gojyo: This is her fantasy, man. We just have to ride it out. looking so gentle. His body....oh his body! Sanzo: Ok, we get it, you're infatuated with his body. Could you kindly find something else to go on about? The greatest body I had ever seen. Gojyo: Oh, and did I forget to mention his body? Again? My face turned a bright red, feeling a burning sensation in my groin. Sanzo: Is /that/ why your hair is red? Gojyo: Don't go there, man. His eyes...his eyes were his best feature. Hakkai: Except for his body, which must be written and elaborated on repeatedly. That bright green....those marvelous windows to his soul. They seemed to tell me everything. And I could tell....what I needed was his utmost desire as well. Sanzo: Well, if he could give you a life, I'm sure he would, just to escape this strange fixation you seem to have with pixelated characters. " H-how did you ..... become able to appear? N-not even Thomas can do that yet! " Gojyo: Who the hell is Thomas? Hakkai: Perhaps a previous lover in one of these self insertion fics? Gojyo: I pity the poor bastard, then. I slightly stuttered, still feeling a bit dazed and nervous. I couldn't stop looking over him. A PERFECT man. Sanzo: ... A /pixelated/ man, you freak of nature. Hakkai: Now, now, calm down. Sanzo: I am calm. I'm zen. Gojyo: Don't mind me, while you're zen, I'm going to stand out of target range. " I have .....my ways, " He smirked Hakkai: In other words, she doesn't feel like explaining it. So we'll have a plot contrivance in order to get to the sex part. as his grip on my shoulder tightened. Gojyo: That is a rather telling thing, this grip tightening. Sanzo: Yeah, it's 'I've got ten minutes to get to the shooting of me and Cloud and Vincent having a threesome, can we get this over with?' He let out a deep breath as his warm hands slowly slid their way up my neck, it tickling a slight bit. Gojyo: Why is it that the most embarassed of sex writers just can't write things without using 'slight' and 'seems' all over the place? His hand caressed my cheek gently. " You're so beautiful you know that....." Gojyo: (Sephiroth) Hold on, let me check the script real fast. *flips pages* Hakkai: (Sephiroth) Oh, here it is... 'You're so beautiful.' He whispered, eyeing me from head to toe, examining every part of my body with his mind. Sanzo: (Sephiroth) Hmm, this one has love handles on her thighs. Hakkai: (Sephiroth) Is that a zit on her nose? Gojyo: (Sephiroth) I may have to roll this one in flour, first. Hakkai: ... Gojyo, that was really over the top. Gojyo: I know. Heh. (To be continued later.)