In the far and distant future Downtown Midgar B.C There was a guy named Cloud Not too different from you or me He worked at the AVALANCHE H.Q. Just another face in an armored suit He did a good job protectin’ the place But the Turks didn’t like him so they shot him into spa-ace! (GET ME DOWN!) They’ll send him cheesy fanfics The worst, they can find He’ll have to sit and watch them all And they’ll monitor his mind! Now keep in mind Cloud can’t control Where the fanfics begin or end He’ll try to keep his sanity With the help of some of his friends! FF ROLL CALL! Aeris! (Here we go again. . .) Sephiroth! (Where’s my sword?!) Tifaaaaaaaa! (SWEET MOTHER MCCREE!) You’re probably wondering how they eat and breathe And other science facts So tell yourself, "This is just a spoof, I really should relax" For Final Fantasy Theatre 7000! *guitar twang* BEFORE THE STORY. . . Please note that the following fanfic has adult content in it and may cause discomfort to those who a)don't like this sort of thing, b)have a heart condition, or c)are sane. Thanks! "Wrench." "Wrench." Aeris Gainsborough handed Cloud Strife the wrench, and he proceeded to ineffectually whack the control panel with it. "Cloud, we don't really need a direct satellite link to Earth anyway," Tifa Lockheart pointed out. "What do we use it for?" "Strife uses it to--OW!" The wrench went flying through the air and clonked Sephiroth Jeter on the head. "Oh, well, it doesn't matter anyway, the Turks are calling," Aeris said as she hit the Shiny Happy Button. "Hi everyone!" Elena said cheerily. In the background, Reno and Rude were carrying a large silver box in, with Scarlett and Tseng following them, calling instructions. Then Rude dropped it. "RUDE! YOU IDIOT!" Scarlett screamed. Elena turned and jaw-dropped at the scene. "Er, today's experiment is called "Distant Love" and here ya go!" Elena dropped the connection as the story went to script format. SEPHIROTH: WE GOT FANFIC SIIIIGN! *General chaos* *Door sequence.. . * ROLL 'EM! >>Well this is my first lemon (eek) CLOUD: Oh, great, so we're stuck with a newbie? AERIS: *hits him* Hush, don't flame the author. >>Title: 'Distant Love' >>Author: Aiko TIFA: Edited by C-ko. SEPHIROTH: Blown up and obliterated by B-ko. ALL: Thank God. >>E-mail: Aikoxoxo@aol.com >>Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Ginza/2920/frames.html >>Anime/comic/cartoon from: Final Fantasy VII CLOUD: Oh twitch. >>That night Cloud settled in his tent before he went to sleep. he opened >>the roof hatch to look at the stars. >>"I know your out there, Aeris." Cloud thought, "And, I'm going to >>find you." AERIS: Hi! >>before he closed his eyes, he heard a small rustle and a zipper. TIFA: Whoa! Already? >>then >>he heard it again. This time closer. He looked up and saw Tifa closing >>Cloud's tent from the inside. SEPHIROTH: EXCUSE ME?! CLOUD: What exactly is "Cloud's tent"? AERIS: But Cloud, you showed it to me the other night when we. . .*CLOUD slams his hand over AERIS'S mouth* CLOUD: That's enough. >>"I just wanted to say thank you." Tifa smiled sheepishly, "for saving >>me from the heat." TIFA: *herself* Now put me in heat, baby! >>"No problem." Cloud responded. >>"And it was getting cold in my tent." Tifa continued, "Cloud...I sleep >>with you?" SEPHIROTH: *Shampoo* Ranma! Shampoo sleep with you! >>Cloud blushed in the dark moonlit sky. He would refuse, but how can he >>to a Childhood friend and a girlfriend for that matter. AERIS: *starts emanating a pink battle aura* CLOUD: *hurriedly* No Aeris, Tifa and I are not going out, it's just a fic! >>"Sure." Cloud smirked back, "There's enough room." >>Tifa settled herself next to Cloud. He smiled and closed his eyes >>again. He woke up and noticed Tifa was shivering in her sleeping bag. >>"It's to cold." Tifa thought. TIFA: Delivery for a Mr. Cold! >>She heard a zipping sound somewhere close. SEPHIROTH: Oh, ew! Strife! Nobody wants to see THAT! >>A click, and another zipping sound. >>"Ohmygod. Someone's coming in!" Tifa screamed in her head, "Should I >>wake up..." >>Then she heard someone wisper to her in her ear. CLOUD: *singing* Could you whisper in my ear/The things you wanna feel. . . AERIS: No no no, that's *wisper*. TIFA: Who wrote this, Issei Mataloun?! >>"Lift you head up, Tifa." >>She slowly lifted her head and sense something slide underneath it. SEPHIROTH: An atomic bomb, how nice. . . >>"You can put your head down." >>She put her head down and felt like a pillow was under her. She gasped >>when she felt something else wrap around her. CLOUD: *Tifa* Get this *hack* *gag* damn *hack hack* anaconda *hack* off me! >>She blinked when >>something pressed up against her body and cuddled her. >>"Cloud?" Tifa wispered. >>"Mmm...Yeah?" Cloud wispered back. AERIS: *Tifa* I hate you. >>Tifa smiled and enjoyed the moment. She felt Cloud kiss her sholder, >>then her neck. TIFA: Then she felt Cloud sinking his fangs into her neck and drinking her life force and she sank into oblivion. . . . SEPHIROTH: Dark today? >>She turned her head to find Cloud staring at her. His >>blue eyes fixed on hers. Tifa parted her lips slightly and took the >>kiss that came from Cloud. >>He opened his mouth a little more and stuck his tounge in her mouth. CLOUD: Oh, crap, it came off. >>He was expecting for Tifa pull away and say she's not ready but she >>didn't. >>She turned around and wrapped her arms around his neck. She deeped >>the kiss even more. AERIS: 'Deeped'? Exsqueeze me? >>His heart was in heaven. TIFA: Which means that he must be in Hell, 'cause if his heart's in Heaven, then it's not in his chest, so he's dead. Thank you! >>His cock has gotten hard >>from all the kissing. >>She noticed Cloud wasn't wearing his shirt. SEPHIROTH: Yes, he was wearing his pink bunny pajamas with the pink footies that have little bunny ears on the feet. . . . >>She ran her fingers through his hair and down his back and into his >>pants. she guided her hand toward his manhood and rubed it vigorisly. CLOUD: What the crack is a Rubix cube (tm) doing in my pants? >>Cloud moaned at the action taking place. He took his hand and started AERIS: . . .to beat Tifa over the head with his disembodied hand. Thank you! >>rubbing her inner thigh. Tifa took off Cloud's belt and took out his >>cock. TIFA: *crack* SEPHIROTH: *Tifa* Uh, how do you reattach this thing? >>"Cloud...?" asked Tifa >>He nodded. >>Tifa took off Cloud's pants and sucked on his Dick. CLOUD: Dick? What are you doing in my tent? Bad doggy! >>She shoved the massiave >>manhood in her mouth as she massaged his balls. >>His dick all of a sudden >>grew hard. >>He groned in pleasure. AERIS: Really? I thought he 'groned' because Red XIII was using his head for a chewtoy. >>He reached down and grabbed one of her Tits. His warm hands made Tifa >>fell TIFA: . . .off a cliff, splattering on the pointy rocks and sending a wave of blood into the Colorado River. SEPHIROTH: *applauds* >>more comfortable. She licked him from his navel to his lips. >>Cloud shivered at the experience he was having. >>Cloud fumbled taking off Tifa's Skirt and panites CLOUD: As opposed to her panties, which were still firmly covering that area with no intention of moving. >>and threw them to >>the corner to the tent. He took her out of her sleeping bag and started >>to Lick her pussy in delight, making sure that she cumed. AERIS: AAAAAACK! WHAT THE HELL IS ARTEMIS DOING IN HERE? TIFA: Shades of Oscar! >>Tifa threw her head to the side. SEPHIROTH: And across the tent, landing somewhere in Eastern Mongolia. >>A chill >>ran down her spine as she tried to get use to Cloud being there. CLOUD: As opposed to Cloud being in Dairy Queen, where he worked most of the time. >>It >>took only a few minutes for Tifa to settle in. Cloud looked up and >>moved toward's Tifa's chest. >>Tifa smiled to see Cloud's face covered in cum. She reached over >>and started licking his face. >>he got up and took off Tifa top. AERIS: Cloud Strife! The easy-to-use Tifa opener that takes the tops off the hardest to open Tifas! TIFA: *turns green* That was wrong. >>he looked down to see the most beautiful body Cloud Strife had ever laied eyes on, SEPHIROTH: Pamela Lee! CLOUD: Carmen Electra! AERIS: Darien! TIFA: Tamahome! >>Tifa Lockheart's. ALL: Oh. >>Her sholders and her brests were all you need to see if >>she had a good nature. her slim waist and angle hips are heavens >>creation. And, her slender legs and socked ankles were earth's present. SEPHIROTH: Socked ankles? CLOUD: Don't think about it, you'll make whatever brain cells you have left explode. >>Cloud blushed and the sight and thought about his body. Tifa lied on >>her back, legs streched apart and around Cloud's waist. She ran her >>fingers gently down his muscled chest. >>"You've grown much stronger the last time I saw you." Tifa commented. TIFA:. . .as a five-year-old wimp who can't solve two plus three. CLOUD: Would you stop bringing that up? >>"You've grown stronger too. Sexier for that matter." >>She blushed at the complement and rested her head. >>Cloud licked the base of Tifa's neck to her hard nipples. he sucked >>on them for a while as he fingered her. AERIS: . . .pearl necklace and tried to figure out how much it was worth. >>Tifa couldn't take it anymore. She cumed all over his hand. Cloud took >>every drop and licked it up. he put some on Tifa's chest and licked every last >>area that had juice. SEPHIROTH: Apple juice! Yummy! ^_^ >>As he shoved his manhood up her sex. Tifa's body was ignited. ALL: Burn the witch! Burn the witch! >>Every cell >>felt like it was on fire. Tifa moaned and called out his name softly. >>"Cloud.....Ahh!" Tears started rolling down her cheeks. Cloud know that he >>broke the hymen and it must have hurted. TIFA: It doesn't hurt! What is the author smoking? AERIS: How would you know, Teef? TIFA:. . .nemmind. >>He picked her up and held >>her close. Tifa's tears fell uncontrollably as it landed on Cloud's >>shoulder and down his back. Cloud looked into Tifa's eyes >>"Are you alright?" he asked. CLOUD: *Tifa* Well, my stomach is hemorrhaging internally and I'm having an aneurysm in my brain, so I'd say I'm dandee-doo! >>Tifa nodded. >>"I'm sorry." he wispered into her ear, "I've never meant to hurt you. >>even after all these years. You mean the world to me. Your more precious >>than the breath I take. SEPHIROTH: *Tifa* Then inhale me into your lungs and exhale me with the poisonous gasses! >>I love you Tifa and I will never hurt you." >>Tifa cried even more when she heard this. Cloud really loved her that much. >>Cloud kissed Tifa's tears away and kissed her on the lips. >>Cloud Continued to thrust his hips into her. AERIS: That's stretchy. TIFA: I imagine that he must be quite flexible. . . >>Sweat stated to build up >>on his forehead. He wiped it away, concentrating on Tifa. >>"Oh...Tifa..." >>Cloud sped up his hips making Tifa's pussy lips hurt. CLOUD: HEY! What did that poor cat do to you? SEPHIROTH: You should be giving him back to Minako. She's worried. >>"Cloud...!" Tifa panted. >>He took her and made her get on all fours. AERIS: Sit! Stay! Roll over! Good doggy, here's your cookie. >>There he fucked even faster. >>grabbing on to Tifa's sweaty hips. Tifa couldn't Take it anymore. Her >>jucies erupted and cumed all over his cock. TIFA: Jinkies! It's a bad fanfic! >>It was pleasure for the >>both of them. Cloud fucked as fast as he could trying to please Tifa. >>he yelled out her name. CLOUD: Rosebuuuuud! >>"Tifa...! Oh GOD...!" Cloud's manhood ejaculated with his seed and >>into Tifa. SEPHIROTH: Oh, he's a tomato plant. >>He took out his cock TIFA: *crack* AERIS: Whoops, it came off again. >>and spirted even more on Tifa's back. >>She turned around trying to lick all the semen up. CLOUD: Tifa, the Amazing Rubber Woman! >>It got all over her >>face. and on her body.She got up and hugged Cloud's neck, dragging him >>to the floor. >>"Oh...God..." Tifa panted. >>"Your a good fuck." Cloud Commented. >>"And your a good fucker." Tifa kissed Cloud. >>"I love you, Tifa." Cloud smiled. >>"I love you to...." SEPHIROTH:. . .morrow! >>Tifa said while resting her head on his chest. >>They both fell asleep under the stars in the moonlit sky. AERIS/TIFA: *singing* Fighting evil by moonlight. . . . >>Vincent regreted not being by Tifa's tent durin this night. His eyes >>grew red in jelousy. CLOUD: A little Visine(tm) will take care of that. >>"Cloud...." Vincent wispered. "Strife.... Why am I so mad at you? >>Can't you see I'm in love with Tifa too? I miss Aeris as well, AERIS: Awww, Vincent, I miss you too. . .. >>but you >>can't have both." >>Vincent closed his eyes tring to make the crying stop. Vincent opened >>his eyes and in the first time of Vincent Valentine's life, The true >>colors of his eyes shown a bright blue. TIFA: There's a riff in there but I can't think of it. >>*Note: my fist Lemon. Gosh i'm such a naughty girl. This was the missing part >>of my fanfiction series 'Distant Love'. SEPHIROTH: And for good reason, too. >>Since this is a lemon, I couldn't put it >>on my webpage. CLOUD: Hey, it doesn't stop Sakura or the god who reigns over all, Tim McLees. >>You might have notice this is a Final Fantasy VII lemon. All >>Characters are (c) of Squaresoft. So don't sue me. >>Aikoxoxo@aol.com AERIS: *scribbles it down* Hey, Cloud, do you still have those nude pictures of Barret handy? >>Aiko Kunoichi (Love Child Ninja) TIFA: Well, Miss Kunoichi, this is what I have to say about your defamation of Cloud and me. . .*strikes a pose* FINAL HEAVEN! *The screen gets fried.* *All exeunt* The four filed out onto the bridge as the story went back to story format. "Tifa, what were you smoking when you agreed to star in that?" Sephiroth asked. Tifa made a face. "Well, it was a late night, and we'd been drinking. . ." "Waaaait a minute." Aeris turned so that she stared right into Tifa's eyes. "Are you telling me that this actually happened and you weren't drafted by Aiko?" "Weeell. . ." Aeris stormed off, followed by Cloud, who was desperately attempting to tell her that it wasn't what she thought. . . FIN. Well, that's my third MSTing. For the sake of continuity, it comes after the second MSTing and before the fourth. Please send all C&C to jonnyquest2000@mailcity.com and rememnber, praise and comments will be accepted, flames, death threats and the like will be considered, and rabid vermin will be deleted. "Distant Love" belongs to Aiko and she's welcome to it. Clod, Aeris, Tifa, Sephiroth, and the Turks belong to Squaresoft and I don't own them, so (unfortunately) I'm not making any money off of this. PREVIOUS EXPERIMENTS: "Cloud and Aeris", by Keops. "Black Passion", by Xander3000 FUTURE EXPERIMENTS: "Revelation", by Jesus "Jesse" Zamora "Their First Time", by Al-I-Bus Keep circulating the fics! >>Tifa couldn't Take it anymore. Her >>jucies erupted and cumed all over his cock.