Innocence Lost Featuring the Powerpuff Girls Original Story by Youri Pepplinkhuisen MST3K by James Reinbold (Just before we begin: This was my response to a kid who posted this story of his at the PPGWorld.com message boards in November 2000 just to be irritating. The post was erased when PPGWorld upgraded. Reference is made within to a disturbing picture, also by "Hated," of Buttercup and Bubbles in their underwear; this picture is now (I hope!) lost. This was my first MSTing.) Thursday, December 14, 2000 - 03:21 am Oooooooooooookay....you asked for it. (The Satellite of Love. Two robots, CROW and TOM SERVO, are wearing PPG-style dresses and making "whoosh!" noises like they're flying. Their human friend MIKE NELSON enters.) MIKE NELSON: Hi, guys! What are you up to? TOM SERVO: We've decided to become our own version of the Powerpuff Girls, Mike. CROW: We love them and their show so much, we're going to be just like them. You can call us the Robopuff Boys! MIKE NELSON: The "Robopuff Boys"? Sounds cool. TOM SERVO: Yes, it is, Mike! I am now Bacon-O. I fight evil with my crumbled bacony goodness. I stop evil and go great in salads! You can recognize me by my puce outfit. CROW: And I am Bubblybuttercupblossom. I combine all of the good characteristics of the original Powerpuff Girls in one tidy package! MIKE NELSON: That's not very original. CROW: Well, no, it isn't, but my taupe dress is! None of the other Backup Subsidiarypuffs have taupe for a color. MIKE NELSON: That's true. Just a minute, the Mads are calling. (Onscreen: the "Mads", DR. FORRESTER, a mad scientist, and TV'S FRANK, his assistant. They are holding Mike and the 'bots hostage in an experiment to see what effect terrible fanfics have on them. They're sitting at a computer reviewing their options.) DR. FORRESTER: Well, hello, Mike, are you ready for today's torture session? CROW: NO! We shall save him! TOM SERVO: YES! The Robopuff Boys will protect this mere mortal from your bad fan fiction! DR. FORRESTER: Frank, you're stupid. You explain what they're talking about. TV'S FRANK: I am a dim bulb, sir, but I'm not completely burned out! (DR. FORRESTER and TV'S FRANK chuckle.) MIKE NELSON: See, the 'bots were playing Powerpuff Girls.... DR. FORRESTER: Really? Frank, didn't you find a link to a promising Powerpuff Girl fic the other day? TV'S FRANK: I did. It's called "Innocence Lost", and it's rated PG13 because it's, well, smutty. MIKE NELSON, TOM SERVO, and CROW: SMUTTY?!? CROW: You're joking! TOM SERVO: You're brutal! MIKE NELSON: You're sending it, aren't you? DR. FORRESTER: You're damn right. Press the button, Frank. TV'S FRANK: You're on! (DR. FORRESTER glares at him.) Why can't I ever be in on the joke? DR. FORRESTER: You are the joke. Press the button, Frank. (TV'S FRANK taps on the keyboard and sends the fanfic. Aboard the Satellite, horns blare and lights flash.) MIKE NELSON: Oh, no, we've got Movie Sign, er, Fanfic Sign! (Doors open into a theater, where a web browser is already onscreen downloading the fanfic. MIKE NELSON enters carrying TOM SERVO, with CROW following them. They sit down. >INNOCENCE LOST by "Hated" TOM SERVO: Milton, this ain't. CROW: Y'know, his parents were going to call him "Son", but they thought this was more specific. >Friday, November 24, 2000 - 02:42 pm MIKE NELSON: We were working the daywatch out of Robbery/Homicide. My partner's Bill Gannon. My name's Joe Friday. I'm a policeman. >------------------------------------------------- >Please C&C, TOM SERVO: Music Factory. >especially on the use of words and the English in general. CROW: And don't get me started on the Scots, either. >===== MIKE NELSON: The City of Townsville...I guess. >"Atchoo!", sneezed Bubbles, wiping her nose. MIKE NELSON: Can one sneeze anything BUT "Achoo"? >"Gesundheid." said Blossom, a little indifferent, while looking up at Bubbles. CROW (Bubbles): Someday, Blossom, you'll be a big indifferent, just like me! >"How come you an' me both got a fever an' Buttercup is still as healthy as a horse?" questioned Bubbles, slightly annoyed. TOM SERVO: Must be the horse pills. CROW: I'm hoping they didn't catch Boogie Fever from Boogie Man. >"I told you that ice was still not thick enough, but you just wouldn't listen. I should've stayed at the side with Buttercup, then at least I wouldn't feel like hell right now." MIKE NELSON (Blossom): I should have let you drown. TOM SERVO (Bubbles): Why didn't we just fly when we fell in? CROW: Mike, she said, "Hell"! >Bubbles was quiet, she could do nothing but agree with that. CROW (Bubbles): Yep. I should'ha drowned. >"Well anyway, it does have it's good sides. At least we're alone for once now." Blossom replied, giving Bubbles a sly look. MIKE NELSON: "It does have it is good sides"? CROW (Blossom): Sly look, Bubbles? TOM SERVO (Bubbles): Why, thank you very much, sis! >There was a long pause, then Bubbles said sweetly: "Blossom, could you lie a bit closer to me, I feel so cold." MIKE NELSON: The check is in the mail. CROW: I love your new outfit. TOM SERVO: I am not a crook! >"Of course, Bubbles." Blossom replied, while cuddling up to Bubbles, showing her eagerness a little too much. CROW: Mike, you mind hittin' the "Eagerness" button? It's affecting the vertical hold. >Blossom began to tittilate Bubbles's arm and strike through her hair. TOM SERVO: The rest of Bubbles remained unaffected. MIKE NELSON: I'm not good at this kind of thing. Usually I end up only sparing through people's hair. CROW: Better than me, Mike. I roll a lot of gutter balls in people's hair. >"You are so beautiful." Blossom said with a sigh. TOM SERVO (Joe Cocker): ...to me-e-e-e! >Bubbles looked away from Blossom, a little embarassed about the whole thing, then she said: "Blossom, I've always had such feelings for you, more than with Buttercup.." CROW (Bubbles): I mean, she wouldn't even save me when I was drowning. >"I know, Bubbles. I have them too." Blossom replied with complete understanding. TOM SERVO: Meanwhile, Buttercup saves the world from Mojo Jojo's latest fiendish plan! >"But.. it doesn't feel right..." Bubbles replied a little scared. CROW: Meanwhile, Buttercup saves a bus full of children from falling off a cliff! >"It'll be our little secret, Bubbles" Blossom said lovingly, moving her hand lower towards Bubbles's nether region. MIKE NELSON: HELLO! Hint, hint! CUT TO BUTTERCUP! TOM SERVO: Please! CROW: In the name of humanity! >"Blossom, no!" Bubbles said with shock. MIKE NELSON (Bubbles): I have got to stop playing with the electrical outlets. >"Shhh... It's okay." Blossom tried to calm Bubbles, softly moving her hand over her mouth. CROW (Blossom): You got spaghetti sauce all over your face. Use a napkin next time. >"But.." Bubbles exclaimed. TOM SERVO: -tercup! Save me! Blossom ate paint chips again and it's making her all weird! CROW: Meanwhile, Buttercup snarfs a PBJ and catches up on her favorite soaps! >"Just relax." Blossom said, looking at Bubbles with a caring smile. MIKE NELSON (Blossom): I'm only going to warp your psyche for life. >Bubbles gave a deep sigh, TOM SERVO (Bubbles): Deep sigh for that sly look, Blossom? CROW (Blossom): Why thank you very much, Bubbles! >looking away from Blossom again and closing her eyes, as if she was trying to ignore it. MIKE NELSON: I think this one's nailed down. I know I'm trying to ignore it. >Blossom moved her hand beneath Bubbles's panties, generating a slight moan from Bubbles. TOM SERVO: Gaaah! MIKE NELSON: Oh, my head. CROW: Oh, my transistors. >She began to move her hand slowly around, while striking through Bubbles's hair once more. MIKE NELSON: What, is there a picket line on her scalp? >Bubbles's whole body began to meander CROW: I guess "Bubbles" has turned into "Babbling Brook". >and she started to breathe heavily. Blossom knew she had to move the pace up now so she started to move her hand faster, MIKE NELSON: Nothing like a Dutch rub to turn on the incest. >keeping with the rhythm of Bubbles's body. Bubbles's eyes screw up TOM SERVO: Much like this story. >as she breathe heavilier and heavilier TOM SERVO, MIKE NELSON, and CROW (Guffawing): Curiouslier and curiouslier! >and suddenly she started to sob softly. Blossom moved her hand slowly away and hugged Bubbles. Bubbles looked up at her and said: "I love you Blossom." >Blossom kissed Bubbles. "I love you too, Bubbles" she replied. TOM SERVO: I want to die. CROW: Not yet. I'm in line ahead of you. MIKE NELSON (Picks up TOM SERVO): Well, something good happened in this story. TOM SERVO: Yeah? CROW: Like what? MIKE NELSON: It ended! (TOM SERVO, MIKE NELSON, and CROW exit the theater. Doors slam as we return to the living quarters. TOM SERVO is working at a computer. MIKE NELSON enters.) MIKE NELSON: Whatcha up to, Tom? TOM SERVO: Committing suicide. MIKE NELSON: Oh. TOM SERVO: I was going to download a virus and have you reboot me with the backup disks you made before we read that dreadful fanfic, but I couldn't find one. I'm writing my own now. MIKE NELSON: Well, good luck. See if you can synthesize it into DNA so I can do that, too. (CROW enters.) CROW: Good news, guys! I've found a solution to our problem. TOM SERVO: Melissa? "I Love You"? CROW: Huh? MIKE NELSON: What is it, Crow? CROW: I wrote a continuation of that fanfic! TOM SERVO: CROW! MIKE NELSON: C'mon, Crow, can't we leave bad enough alone? CROW: Just listen, listen! "At that moment, Buttercup came in and saw something was wrong with Blossom and Bubbles." TOM SERVO: Hooray! Buttercup will save them! CROW: "They had fallen under an evil magic spell. Buttercup discovered she had developed a new power. She could use magic, too, and was not affected by anyone else's magic. She freed her sisters from the spell and cast a new one so they would never remember what happened." TOM SERVO: See? I told you she would save them! CROW: "Then Buttercup hunted down the evil magician who cast the evil spell and beat him up so bad, he gave up magic and became a foreman on a loading dock in Perth Amboy, New Jersey. And so, once again, the day is saved, thanks to the Powerpuff Girls. Or at least Buttercup." TOM SERVO: I love it. Here, let me type that up. I'll hack into the website and tack that on. MIKE NELSON: Guys, the Mads are calling. (Onscreen: DR. FORRESTER and TV's FRANK.) DR. FORRESTER: So, how did we like "Innocence Lost"? As horrible as I imagined? MIKE NELSON: Much worse. At least there weren't pictures. DR. FORRESTER: Frank, send the picture that Hated posted later. (Note: It's Buttercup hiking up Bubbles' nightgown.) CROW: Ick. TOM SERVO: Double ick. MIKE NELSON: Triple ick. It's not even a good picture of Blossom. Her hair's so dark and short. And the hairbow was left out. And her eyes look wrong, kind of greenish. If I didn't know better, I'd swear that was Buttercup. TOM SERVO: Definitely Buttercup-ish. CROW: Of course, the story said Blossom, so it's gotta be Blossom. MIKE NELSON: Uh-huh. Guess that guy didn't read his own work. I'm surprised you didn't pick up on that, Dr. F. DR. FORRESTER: Oh, we haven't read it, either. I may be a mad scientist, and Frank may be a mad scientist's mad assistant, but even we have to hang on to a little sanity. TOM SERVO: Oops! Shoot! CROW: Oh, you're in trouble now, Tom. MIKE NELSON: What happened that I don't want to know about, but need to anyway? CROW: Tom spliced the story into his homemade virus. We didn't even get my finale added! TOM SERVO: I just spammed that drek to everyone in your address book! I'm sorry, Mike. MIKE NELSON: Don't worry, Tom. It was an accident. Besides, I've only got one name in my address book. CROW: Shouldn't we warn them? MIKE NELSON: Maybe later. Who wants RAM chip ice cream? TOM SERVO and CROW: I do, I do! (Exit MIKE NELSON, TOM SERVO, and CROW.) DR. FORRESTER: At last, a crack in their sanity! Only a madman wouldn't warn others about the horror of a PPG porno! TV'S FRANK: Hey, I've got mail! Wonder what it is.... (Credits roll over DR. FORRESTER's and TV'S FRANK's screams.) >Blossom began to tittilate Bubbles's arm and strike through her hair. (Mystery Science Theater 3000 property of Best Brains Inc, The Powerpuff Girls property of Hanna-Barbera Animation, used without permission. To return to MST3K fan fiction, press New Experiments. To abort, open Hamdingers.)