MST3K Digimon Lemonade! by don Jaime del Resfriado (James Reinbold) (jdreinbold@hotmail.com) Synopsis: When the Mads give Mike and the 'bots lemons -- terrible, terrible Digimon porn -- they make lemonade. Chapter 1: "Cody Expresses His Love For Izz!" by Spazoid Barney Chapter 2: "Veemon Gets Lucky" by Shadow Guyver 007 Chapter 3: "Lonely Brothers" by Eric Strife Chapter 4: "I Need A Woman!" by animefreak72 Chapter 5: "The Impossible Accident" by Taito's Child Chapter 6: "Camping Out" by Sailor Goo-Chan, Yaoi Senshi Chapter 7: "The Princess and the Computer Genius" by Kojiro Arigatou Chapter 8: "Getting a Charge Out of Elecmon" by Togashi Tsuke Chapter 9: "ON PURPOSE" by CHRISTINE Chapter 10: "Nature" by Lilac This chapter: The strange fan from Chapter 2 turns out her own fic, "On Purpose," a sticky situation between brother Taichi and sister Hikari. All together, now: ICK! (Doors open into the theater, where the next fanfic is already downloading. MIKE, TOM, and CROW enter and sit down.) CROW: I would have taken you with me on the grand prize trip, Tom, but I liked Cozumel so much I wanted to go twice! TOM: Shut up. >On Purpose MIKE: It's an essay about Flipper. >by Christine MIKE, TOM, and CROW: Shit. TOM: We're in trouble. This is officially going to hurt. MIKE: Well, look at the bright side. At least I didn't kill her. CROW: And the bright side is...? >It was a hot summer day, when Tai and Kari were staying home. CROW: No, no, wrong! We need another character if this going to be a lemon! TOM: Great. Just great. The hetero "Lonely Brothers." MIKE: I'm going into my coma now and get it over with. >Their parents were out shopping, and trying to find a decent priced air >conditioner. MIKE: Wasn't Tai grooving to the AC in Kari's first episode? TOM and CROW: OOPS! MIKE, TOM, and CROW: Wha-wha-wha! >Tai was lying down peacefully on the couch taking a nap, TOM: They're free for the asking. >and Kari was sitting on the floor watching t.v. MIKE (Kari): Why does this "Monster Rancher" show seem so familiar? >They had at least 3 fans going and blowing at them. TOM (Fan): Well, Kari, I think the Packers are going all the way this year. CROW (Fan): Oh, yeah, the Packers are definitely getting rings. MIKE (Fan): Packers! Woo-hoo! >" Good morning. You're watching channel 46 news. CROW (Weatherman): Twice the news of Channel 23! >Today's high is going to be a sizzling 32 degrees celcius. MIKE: What's that in real temperatures? >Don't forget to crank up your air conditioners. TOM (Weatherman): 'Cause they're sagging. >Tomorrow's going to be even hotter. . . . " CROW (Weatherman): A sizzling 33 degrees! >Kari couldn't stand it anymore and turned off the t.v. with the remote >control. MIKE: She used the remote to bat the plug out of the wall. >" Oh man. . . if only mom and dad would come home sooner with that air >conditioner, Tai and me would be more happy." CROW: Why didn't they go with Mom and Dad? If any store is cool, it's one that sells air conditioners. >Kari whined as she looked back at Tai, who was slightly drooling. TOM: Well, Tai's character has been pretty well established in one sentence. >" He looks so cute when he's alseep. MIKE (Kari): He's cute even when he's only slightly seep. >Now's my chance." Kari pulled a picture out of her pocket that she had >gotten a friend whom was 14 years old to draw. CROW: And she got this sentence from a friend whom was three years old to write. >It was a picture of herself and Tai making it hot on her bed. MIKE: Man, that'd chill the blood. Good way to cool off on a hot day. TOM: I'm shivering just thinking about it. CROW: Relax. It just shows them laying out electric blankets and hot water bottles. >" Unhh. . . I just hope that Tai doesn't wake up in the middle of things." >Kari thought to herself as she found her hand snaking it's way down her >shorts. CROW: Particularly not the middle of your thing. TOM (Shel Silverstien): Oh, I'm being eaten by a boa constrictor! >" I wonder if. . . naw! He's not going to wake up. TOM (Kari): The cyanide's had more than enough time to work. >He sleeps like a log.". MIKE: Tai rolls down stairs, alone or in pairs, rolls over the neighbor's dog.... >Kari's fingers moved her delicate cotton panties out of the way. TOM: She didn't want to upset her panties' delicate sensibilities. >Her middle finger found her clit, as it started to rub it gently. CROW: It'd be hard to rub something before you find it. >" Aaahhh. . . oh this feels so good." Kari let out a few short gasps. MIKE (Kari): No...air...in...hot apartment! Can't...breathe! >She moaned softly, taking caution not to wake up Tai. CROW: Since when is masturbating over your sleeping brother cautious? >Anothe one of her fingers moved it's way into her twat. TOM: Does it still count as turning Japanese if you already are Japanese? MIKE: I don't really think so. >She was soaking wet and a little sweaty from the heat, but she didn't mind. CROW: Soaking wet, but only slightly sweaty. She reabsorbed that liquid fast. >As long as if felt good. TOM: That's right. "As if!" >" Ohhh. . harder Tai. Aahhh." She moaned, having a fantasy of Tai moving >his dick up and down on her clit. MIKE: Oog. That makes me want to moan, too, but not for joy. >She started at the picture. CROW: That picture even scares her. >She loved it, and kept it in her pocket at all times, just in case of >emergencies like this one. MIKE: Imagine you're the paramedic who finds that while looking for Kari's parents' phone number. >She felt a heat burning up in her cunt. Her orgasm hit her like an eruption >of a volcano. TOM: Searing the flesh off her bones. >" Aaaaaahh. TAI!" She screamed out loud, not noticing the waking Tai. CROW: She's turned on by Tai, but not enough to pay attention to him. >" Huh? What's going on?" Tai slowly opened his eyes to look into >Kari's. MIKE (Kari): Oh, nothing. Go back to your pig impression. (TOM and CROW oink.) >Kari saw this and quickly pulled her fingers out of her moist cunt, grabbed >the picture and hid it behind her back, and smiled sweetly. TOM (Kari): Maybe I should have put my underwear and shorts back on, too. >" What were you doing Kari? I heard someone scream our my name, MIKE: Both your names, or just your own? >and I though that you were in trouble or something. CROW (Tai): People always scream my name when you're in trouble. >Are you okay?" Tai asked, a little worried about his little sister. TOM: A little tramp with little brains. >" Uhh. . . I didn't hear anything!" Kari lied, slightly blushing. MIKE (Kari): I was screaming too loud. >" Well , alright I guess that I was just hearing things. CROW (Tai): I'd like to hear you shut up while I'm trying to sleep. >If anything else comes up , tell me okay? MIKE (Tai): Tell me it's okay, 'cause I don't want to know about it. >I'm in the bathroom if you need me." Tai told her, heading off to the >washroom down the hall. TOM (Tai): By the way, Caligulette, have we got any ipecac? Oh, don't bother, I can manage. >The moment that Tai was out of sight, Kari folded the picture up and put if >back in her pocket. MIKE: Kitty Fisher's in for the shock of her life. >Taking her fingers, she put them back down her shorts and pushed them in >and out a few times in her soaking cunt. TOM: Almost got caught a minute ago, and she's already forgotten her lesson. >She removed her fingers and placed them in her mouth. CROW (Kari): Wow, I taste like chicken. >" Mmmn. . this doesn't taste that bad." Kari thought to herself as she >cleaned her fingers of her own cum. TOM (Kari): A little paprika and I'd be delicious! MIKE: Why can't she use Lifebouy like everyone else? >" Although I must be careful next time to make sure that Tai doesn't >suspect anything. What can I do to make this fantasy of mine come true? MIKE (Kari): I don't want to get caught, BUT.... >Oh! I know!" An idea snapped into her mind. CROW: And her mind snapped from the weight. >Kari went into the kitchen and pulled out a glass from the cupboard, >filling it with freezing cold iced-tea from the fridge. TOM: She would have used the iced tea from the broiler, but it got too warm somehow. >Opening the freezer, she placed a few ice-cubes in the drink. MIKE: Ice-T, Ice Cube, she only needs some Queen Latifah to make this the best rap drink ever. >Kari got out some freshly sliced watermelon from the fridge and put it on >one of her mother's fine china plates. CROW: Oh, no, watermelon! She's going to do a Gallagher skit. >" Great, everything is going perfect. My plan is sure to work!" she >thought. TOM: Man, Tai must be willing to do ANYTHING for food. >Then she heard the toilate flush and water running. MIKE: I thought the "toilate" was when you didn't get to the bathroom fast enough. CROW: Then the running water is likely going down Tai's leg. >" Oh no, Tai's coming. " She gasped. TOM: Isn't that what she wants? MIKE: Please, Tom, don't encourage her. >Tai walked out of the washroom and headed right back for the couch. MIKE: Man, close the door next time you're in there! >He grabbed the remote control off of the coffee table and flicked the t.v >on. TOM (Newsanchor): This just in, it's now 34 degrees! Don't lock Fido in the car unless you enjoy roast dog! >His favorite Digimon Episode was on, " The Good, The Bad and The Digi " . MIKE: The Western episode?! Is he trying to catch a glimpse of the gun Digimon naked?! CROW: Maybe he just likes the sound of Pat Buttram's voice. >He watched digimon everyday. TOM: He started when the Digimon preschool stopped taking new students. I understand he makes good money at it. >Even tough he was in it. CROW: Tai's rowdy, but I wouldn't call him tough. >He kinda got pissed off with Gennai and his helper Digimon for taping the >whole damned time in the Digiworld. MIKE: And only catching two of the other kids' naked butts. >He couldn't wait 3 more years. He was just anxious to see the new 02 >episodes. CROW: The three years are up. "The Good, the Bad, and the Digi" is one of the 02 episodes! TOM: Suppose he was as let down by episode 50 as the rest of us? >" Great. Plan 'S' will now be put into action." Kari smirked MIKE: "Plan 'S' from Outer Space." Like Plan 9, but much more insane. >(author's note: Project 'S'. The ' S ' stands for spanking ) TOM: The latest novel by Sue Grifton. CROW: "S" stands for "stupid" and "sickening," too. >" Here you go Tai, some nice cold watermelon and iced-tea." Kari happily >said while carrying the very expansive plate and the iced-tea over to the >couch. MIKE: That's a big, expansive plate. Must be two whole watermelons on it! TOM (Tai): But I wanted a root beer! >" Woops. . " Kair shouted as she purposely dropped the plate, smashing in >on the floor. CROW (Walter Matthau): Now it's garbage! >The watermelon was squished into the tiles, MIKE, TOM, and CROW (Gallagher): Sledge-O-Matic! >and the plastic glass cracked. CROW: You need to be cracked to be in this fic. >That sent iced-tea flying everywhere. TOM: But it's tile, so it'll mop up easily. >" KKKAAARRIIIIII!!" Tai screamed at Kari, MIKE: As she's the only one there.... >running into the kitched and grabbing almost more than a handful of paper >towels. CROW: "Almost more than a handful" would be...a handful, right? >" That was mom's favorite china dish. TOM (Tai): It's the one that looks like all the other dishes. >Couldnt' have you just used one of those leftover paper party plates from >your birthday last week?" Tai yelled. MIKE (Kari): With cruddy week-old cake crumbs and melted ice cream goop stuck to them? Nuh-uh! >" Here, clean this up." He said handing her the paper towels. CROW (Kari): Uh, these paper towels are clean, Tai. Maybe I should do the floor instead. >" No. You do it you lazy jerk." Kari smart-ass remarked. TOM (Tai): You're calling me "jerk" after you...I was really asleep, okay? Yeesh. >Tai was taken quite aback by Karis' actions. MIKE: It was the first time she had displayed any personality. >She was usually a co-operative and kind girl who was careful, but little >did he know that today would be different. CROW: Today she was an evil little troll out to destroy his sanity. >" I said CLEAN IT UP!!!" Tai was getting furious at his little sister. TOM: If this is mildly annoyed, I'd hate to see furious! >He was a very forgiving boy, but this was the last straw. MIKE: Laying on the dirty floor in the remains of a broken glass of iced tea. >" You know that if mom found out that you broke her best plate she'd have a >cow. CROW (Tai): And we can't keep livestock in town without a permit. TOM: Sounds like he's going to hide the pieces and hope Mom doesn't notice her favorite plate is missing. >She'll probably punish the both of us." He screamed again. CROW (Tai): And if I'm going to be punished, I want to have enjoyed doing something bad first. >" Well, why don't YOU punish me first?" Kari smirked and giggled a little >bit. MIKE (Tai): That's why you're cleaning it up -- with your TONGUE! >" But Kari I would never. . . . " Tai stopped in mid-sentence. TOM: His train of thought left without him. >" You know, maybe I will". CROW (Tai): But maybe I won't. Help me, Magic 8-Ball! TOM: Answer unclear, come back later. >Tai decided to clean things up himself. MIKE: Getting his hands in all that tea and watermelon helped him cool off. >After he was done, he sat back down on the couch and motioned Kari to come >over to him. CROW (Tai): It's hot, and I know you're tired and irritable, so I'm going to overlook this incident. >Kari was very pleased to oblige. She sat on Tai's lap and pulled down her >shorts and panties. TOM (Tai): Oh, thanks, now I have a skidmark on my pants. Go to your room! >" Punish me . . . . " She said with a little bit of seductiveness in her >voice. MIKE: That little bit immediately jumped ship and fled in terror to another fanfic. >Tai raised his hand and slapped her rear as hard as he could. TOM: Won't that hurt his hand as much as her rear? MIKE: I don't know. I was always on the receiving end growing up.... >" Aahhh. . ." Kari moaned. A little bit of her cum from masturbation >dripped from her cunt. CROW (Tai): Ahhh! Not on the rug! Cripes! >She was enjoying this. TOM: And what a lonely girl she is. >Tai raised his hand a second time and slapped her again. MIKE: Then he raised his hand a third time and forgot to slap her. >His hand made a loud slap that echoed throughout the living room from the >impact. TOM (Tai): What's with the echo? Do we live in the Grand Canyon? >" Oh Tai. . . m-more ." Kari squealed, a teardrop falling from her cheek. CROW: Their folks will know something happened from how squishy the carpet's going to be. >He obeyed his little sister's wishes and spanked her again, this time with >all of his might, and two times in a row. MIKE, TOM, and CROW: Clap on! (Clap, clap!) Clap off! (Clap, clap!) Clap on, clap off, it's icky! (Clap, clap!) >" Yeaaaaah! Uhh. . . t-tai. Again tai. Ahhhn!" Kari screamed out in >pleasure. MIKE: She's so into this that she forgot to capitalize proper nouns. >" Oh Tai, again!" she repeated. More of her cum was dripping from her >soaking cunt. CROW: Geez, I never realized before that S&M is boring! TOM: Spank this, drip that, it is repetitive. >Tai saw the liquid squeeze from her twat. MIKE: About time. He's got Niagara right there in his lap and he's only just catching on. >" Man . . . I wonder why she's enjoying this." he thought to himself. CROW (Tai): I must be doing it wrong. >" If it's a spanking she wants, it's a spanking she'll get!" TOM: She just got one, chump! Notice that burning sensation in your palm? >He raised his hand again and brought it down on her right butt cheek. TOM: This isn't what the Bible means by "turn the other cheek"! >Raising his hand again, Tai slapped her on the other and kept on working on >that one. MIKE: He's playing the congas with her butt! CROW (Desi Arnaz): Ba-ba-luuu! >He stopped when Kari's rear was totally red and raw from his hands slapping >them. TOM (Mom): You spanked her HOW LONG over a broken plate?! No college for you, young man! >Kari was moaning in pleasure by now. CROW: We're moaning in agony. >She was dripping wet, and her face was almost as red as her ass from >screaming so much. MIKE: The downstairs neighbors are banging on the ceiling, saying, "You kids keep that incest quiet!" >" Ahh. . ." She moaned agian. TOM: She's had a lot of lines, but so far they've all been, "Aaaah!" CROW: Once in a while she says, "Ohhh," instead. >Tai saw her cunt and felt his hardon pushing against his shorts. MIKE: Going the opposite direction. It shriveled that much. >His fingers slipped into her cunt. CROW (Tai): Whoops! Sorry, sis, this whole end of you is kind of slippery. >" Oh Tai! Harder! HARDER!" She screamed. TOM (Tai): This is as hard as my fingers get, Kari. >Tai obeyed as he shoved his fingers in and out of her tight virgin walls, >making her moan with pleasure. TOM (Tai): Wait, I'm punishing you. I'm not supposed to do what you want! >It felt good to feel his sister's hot pre-cum on his fingers. MIKE: Even though it's now a sizzling 35 degrees in the apartment. >Moving his other hand to her backside, Tai slipped his middle finger and >his pointer finger into her ass. CROW: What the hell is he looking for, spare change? Quit poking around in her, Tai! She's not a box of Cracker Jacks! >" Ahhh. Uhhnn. . more!" She squealed agian with sheer delight. TOM: Which is nothing like Sunny Delight. >Tai picked up the pace MIKE: And opened a bag of nacho chips. >and switched into a fast and hard rythm. CROW: He's got rhythm, he's got no brains, he's got his sis, who could ask for anything less? TOM: It's Gershwin! >Kari felt her orgasm approaching rapidly. MIKE: She immediately cowered in a thicket hoping to go unnoticed. >Tai removed his fingers from her ass and rubbed her clitoris then a faster >pace than he was going. TOM: Yeah, "faster." We get it! >Kari felt it agian, arched her back, and screamed. CROW: Tai just gave a whole new meaning to the term "rug burn." >Tai felt her cunt tighten on his fingers as she orgasmed. MIKE (Tai): My fingers are stuck! Give me back my hand, you! >" Keeeyaaaaahh!" She screamed with all her might. TOM: Hai-kee-ba! CROW: We haven't used that in a while.... >Tai removed his fingers and licked all of her cum off. It was sweet and >warm, and he wanted more. MIKE (Tai): We still have some coupons for Jism in a Jar, right? >" Did you like your punishment so far?" Tai asked his still-horny sister, >licking his lips. TOM (Kari): Well, I said "Keeyaah." Doesn't that count for anything anymore? >" huff huff. . . Yes. . . huff. . . more!" Kari begged. MIKE: And now huffing. Drug abuse. Thank you, fanfic! >She crawled down onto the carpet and spread open her legs. CROW (Tai): What are you doing? I'm going to make you sit in the corner! >Tai needed no further coaxing in what to do next. MIKE: He called the funny farm and had Kari committed. >He pulled down his pants and shorts, revealing his 5 1/2" hard cock. TOM: Huh. The size of his weiner is the first normal thing in this fic. CROW: Yeah, this is an odd turn of events. We've seen a couple of dog-sized Digimon with bigger privates. >He stopped just as the head touched the tip of her clit. >" You sure Kari?" Tai quickly asked. CROW (Tai): Keeyaaah? >" Aaahhhh!" Was the only thing that Kari managed to get out. MIKE: Take that as a "No," Tai! >The sight of his loving sister with her eyes shut and blushing like that >made him even harder. TOM: Oh, come on! When is heat stroke going to set in and knock these two unconscious? >With that done, he shoved his cock into her. " Ahhh! Brother. . . ." Kari >moaned. MIKE (Tai): Yes, I can spare a dime. >He started to slowly pump in and out of her waiting canal. CROW: Why aren't there locks on this canal? >He picked up the pace with each passion filled moan that his sister let >out. TOM: And at the rate she's lettin' out moans, he's going to break the sound barrier. >Her cunt was soaking wet. MIKE: Are we surprised? TOM and CROW: No. >She could barely hold it, but decided to hold back her orgasm until her >brother was cumming. MIKE: Could you hold that for a little longer? Say fourteen, maybe fifteen years? >Tai bucked into his sister harder with eash gasp that escaped his mouth. CROW: Will she last the full eight seconds? >" Oh T-. . . . T-Tai. Harder." Kari squealed with all the energy that was >left in her. TOM: Y'know, this doesn't hurt as much as I expected. I'm so distracted by the spaces after the opening quotation marks that I forget to pay attention to the sex scene. >He shoved his cock into her with a earth shattering lust. MIKE: The Earth shattered, and I'm okay with that. >He bucked as hard as he could into her . Tai could no longet take it. CROW: He gave up, fled to his room, and hung his head in shame. >" Kari. . I'm , I'm cumming. Oooahhhhh!!" Tai screamed as his balls quaked, >releasing his precious seed into her vagina. TOM: Y'know, Tai's seed goes for $7.85 an ounce. CROW: We've got a ballquake. Let's go stand in a doorframe. >Kari could feel his cum shooting into her system, totally setting her off. MIKE (Kari): What is WRONG with you?! You're doing it all wrong! You are such a moron! >The heat could no longer build up, making her climax. . . MIKE: Plateau! It's all downhill from here, guys! TOM and CROW: Great! >" BROTHER!!!" She shouted as her orgasm hit her. MIKE (Kari): That's my favorite brand of typewriter! >She arced her back and screamed as her cum surrounded her brother's prick. TOM: Just now? Five seconds ago she was soaked! >Tai slowly removed himself out of her. CROW: He took himself out of the inside of her interior by removing and exiting. >Kari stood up and pulled her panties and shorts back onto her body. MIKE (Tai): Kari, take your panties off your head and put them on right. >Tai pulled up his blue breifs and his shorts and zipped them up. CROW: He zipped his briefs? >" Did you like that Kari?" Tai sweetly asked his sister. TOM (Kari): Yeah, I guess. Um, keeyaaah? >" Yeah I did, but I gotta tell you something Tai. MIKE (Rodney Dangerfield): I gotta tell you, I don't get no respect! >I did that on purpose. I wanted you to do this to me." Kari replied, >blushing. TOM: After all that, NOW she gets embarassed. Oh, well, better late than never.... >" Oh really. .. to tell you the truth, I liked it too Kari. CROW (Tai): The broken plate, I mean. The sex was yucky. >Maybe we should do this again sometime when mom and dad aren't home." Tai >remarked. MIKE: I hope their china pattern is still open. >Suddenly there was a knock at the door. TOM: Nausea police. You're over your limit! >Tai got off of the couch and undid the locks. MIKE (Tai): Who is it? CROW (Man at door): I'm here to steal the stereo! MIKE (Tai): Okay, come on in! >His mother and father stepped in. TOM: Mom and Dad should invest in some keys. >" Hey sweethearts, we're home." Their mother said in a sing-song voice wile >putting the new air conditioner down on the kitchen table. CROW (Mom): We had fun at the nice, cool mall while you two sweated in this small enclosed space. >" We were gone for a pretty long time. MIKE (Dad): We thought you two had found jobs and moved out by now. >I'm guessing that you two didn't do that much running around. TOM (Dad): I mean, you were too dumb to come with us and keep cool, so there's little chance you figured out to go to a friend's house and keep cool that way, either. >So what did you two do while we were gone?" Their father asked. CROW (Dad): And why is the floor sticky? >" Oh. .. nothing!" They replied in unisen, starring into each other's eyes. TOM and CROW (Tai and Kari): Aaah! Stars in my eyes! I'm blind! MIKE (Dad): Look at me when I'm talking to you! >They both giggled, thinking back at what had hapened. MIKE (Dad): Crap. What did you do? TOM (Mom): Check the liquor cabinet, honey, just to be sure. >Tai bent down and whispered into Kari's ear CROW (Tai): You betrayed me, Fredo. >" I can't wait until the next time they leave." MIKE (Tai): So let's start again right now! >Kari just nodded her head and smiled sweetly. TOM (Mom): Hey, why is my favorite plate in the trash? And why did you waste all this watermelon? Ki-i-i-ids! >THE END MIKE: Of civilization as we know it. But we lived through it! That's something! TOM: Keeyaaah! CROW: Keeeeyaaaah! (MIKE, TOM, and CROW exit the theater. Doors slam as we return to the living quarters, which are hard to see due to radiating heat waves. GYPSY is waiting as MIKE, TOM, and CROW enter.) MIKE: Man, it's hot! What's wrong with the ship? GYPSY: Hydrostatic thermocoupler blew out in life support. We're at almost 300 degrees Kelvin. At least the temperature went up instead of down. MIKE: How's that good? GYPSY: At out current rate of temperature change, we'd have been Popsicles inside of fifteen minutes. As it is, we just have to wait while repairs are implemented. The repairman works by the hour, so I'm estimating at least three hours, more if he needs parts. MIKE: Right. Let's take a cue from the fanfic we just read. It's really hot and we have to find ways to keep cool. Any suggestions? CROW: I've got one! I know what I do when the mercury rises. I grease some baking sheets and make cookies! Nothing cools me off like kneading and rolling dough. And having the oven on makes the rest of the house chilly in comparison! Once you pop a cookie straight from the oven into your mouth, you'll know the meaning of "cool." MIKE: Great idea! What about you, Tom? TOM: Well, I don't work, that's for sure. I try to relax. And what better way to relax than with a full spa treatment? First, a dip in the Jacuzzi to chill the bones, then a little time alternating between the sauna and the Turkish bath, and finish up in a tanning bed for the all-over fresh feeling that cools you off! MIKE: Pretty good! Gypsy, you? GYPSY: I usually indulge my hobbies, Mike. Like right now, I've got several art projects going. I could blow some liquid glass into interesting shapes, or crank up the kiln and finish some raku pottery. But for today, I think I'll break out the smelter and produce freeform iron sculpture. I'm chillin'! MIKE: Excellent! And while you all do that, I'm going to set up the barbeque. Sirs, could you send up some brisket? (Onscreen: FRANK and FORRESTER.) FRANK: Sorry, fresh out of brisket. I could send your next lemon, "Nature" by Lilac, but I guess that can wait until the Satellite is fixed. FORRESTER: Or you could just switch them to auxiliary life support and send it anyway. FRANK: Oh, yeah. Switching now. (Presses buttons.) And here comes your fic! (Lights flash and sirens blare.) MIKE: Shoot. At least we won't roast, but still, FANFIC SIGN!