MST3K Digimon Lemonade Too! By James Reinbold Chapter 1: A Tale of a Sister's Bitterness by Jade Diamond Chapter 2: Anti-Me: Sound and Sweat by Pretty Pretty Princess Chapter 3: Our Rainfall by DigistarDBZ Chapter 4: It's All My Fault by Goldstar44 Chapter 5: Through Sickness and Health by Angeteen Chapter 6: Terriermon's Unusual Day by Gabumatic Chapter 7: by Chapter 8: by Chapter 9: by Chapter 10: by (Doors open into the theater, where the next fanfic is already downloading. MIKE, TOM, and CROW enter and sit down.) MIKE: I'm serious, quit replacing the fine coffee I normally drink with other liquids. CROW: Relax, Mike. Angel's milk isn't nearly as caustic as battery acid. >First thing first. TOM: Shh, it's starting. Wait, we're talking through it anyway. Forget I said anything. >Disclaimer: All characters are copyrights of TOEI. MIKE: Then why are you using them? TOM and CROW: Yeah! >I don't have any money, so don't try to sue me. TOM: Do you have any collector's plates? CROW: How about Civil War chess pieces from the Franklin Mint? >Warning: This fic is a lemon. MIKE: Your stomach will turn against you. >No I don't mean those yellow sour fruits, but lemon as in adult material, aka digimon having sex. CROW: Shoot, I had my heart set on chicken piccata tonight. >Don't know what sex is? TOM: Sure! Do you? >Then you are too young to be reading this fic. MIKE, TOM, and CROW: I'm only t'ree an' a half years old! >This fic is also a Yaoi, which means it contains male on male love. TOM: But just a pinch. Add too much pepper and you'll overpower it. >I look forward to your reviews, as long as they are not flames. CROW: Those make me all sad. >I will not even pay attention to flamers. MIKE: I'm not listening to your flames! My fingers are in my ears! LA LA LA! >As I like to say, I will snuff flamers. TOM: Snuff this: you talk like Commander Data. MIKE: Tom, that wasn't nice. And besides, he sounds more like the little girl in True Grit. >Thank you and I hope you enjoy the fic. CROW: I'll be here all week. Enjoy the buffet. >NOTE1: This fic is not related to any other Season 3 fic I have done so far MIKE: Hey, it's the Tamers! We got a fic from the alternate universe! TOM: Ooh! Maybe they use correct spelling, grammar, and punctuation there! CROW: They might have plots in their fanfics, too! >NOTE2: This fic is a request that I did for someone MIKE: Someone who must remain anonymous. >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >Terriermon's Unusual Day MIKE: Henry lets him fight another Digimon. >By: Gabumatic CROW: For the people. TOM: Hey, that's me in the corner! MIKE: That's me in the spotlight! >The day started out as usual for Terriermon. CROW: He still couldn't decide if he was a dog or a rabbit. >The alarm went off as usual. MIKE: And that hurts when you're 95% earlobes. >As usual, Henry turned off the alarm in his sleep. TOM: The word "usual" isn't going to be in every sentence, is it? >Terriermon yawned slightly, as he had woken up from the alarm. CROW (Terriermon): God, I'm hungover. I need a hair of the human that bit me. >He looked at Henry and smiled, the boy was still sound asleep. MIKE (Terriermon): That's my friend, he could sleep through the apocalypse. >Terriermon climbed on top of the bed and crawled over the boy's chest. CROW (Terriermon): I gotta clear a path through all these toys and dirty clothes. >He kept crawling till he was face to face with Henry. TOM (Terriermon): Phew! Morning breath! >He used his paw and poked Henry on the nose. MIKE: I'm so glad he used a paw and not some other body part. >The boy wiggled his nose back and forth slightly, making Terriermon giggle. CROW: Terriermon thinks Bewitched is the funniest show ever. >The small digimon made it's way to Henry's ear. TOM: And shoved in a cockroach. >Terriermon then took a deep breath. MIKE: This fic's about to turn into Digimon of a Lesser God. >"HENRY! TIME TO WAKE UP!" TOM (Terriermon): Fall in! Drop and give me twenty, you maggot! >He yelled loud, but not loud enough to alarm suspicion within the house. CROW (Henry's dad): Dear, what's that noise? MIKE (Henry's mom): That's Henry's dog doll screaming. Pay it no mind. >Henry was jolted awake as he immediately sat up. MIKE: The act of sitting is what brought Henry to a waking state of alertness. >The result of Henry sitting up so fast knocked Terriermon to the floor, but that didn't bother the small digimon. TOM: He had been slapped around so much that Lifetime wanted to make a movie about him. >He was busy laughing his head off at the boy. CROW (Henry): Terriermon, put your head back on. >Henry's eyes narrowed at the small digimon. MIKE: Now they only take up two-thirds of his face. >"Terriermon, that wasn't funny. It wasn't funny today, it wasn't funny yesterday, and it won't be funny tomorrow." Henry said. TOM: Day after tomorrow, maybe? >Terriermon slowly stopped his fit of laughter for a bit. CROW: Makes it sound like he hit the pause button. >"But you should have seen your face!" Terriermon spat out before bursting out in laughter again. TOM (Terriermon): You have no nose! Ha ha! And compared to the rest of your head, your eyes are enormous! Ha ha ha! >Henry sighed and got up. MIKE (Henry): Man, Terriermon, it's too early in the morning for yaoi. Can we just stare meaningfully at each other until late this afternoon? >He watched the digimon on the floor and couldn't help but laugh a bit as well. CROW (Henry): Ha! I'm done. >He gathered up some of his clothes and made his way to his bedroom door. TOM (Henry): I'm leaving you, Terriermon. Forward my mail to my parents' room. And I expect alimony! >He slowly opened it up, looking to make sure that no one else was in the hall. CROW: He doesn't understand the concept of streaking, does he? TOM: Nope. >He motioned to Terriermon as the tiny digimon ran to the bathroom. MIKE (Terriermon): Stay together, cheeks, stay together! >Henry walked calmly to the bathroom and closed the bathroom door behind him. TOM (Henry): Someday Ray Stevens will write a song about me. >Henry walked over the to the tub and started to turn the nozzles, getting the water to the desired temperature. CROW (Henry): Deafen me, will you? Let's see how you like an ice bath. >Once that was set he started to fill the tub with water and began to strip. CROW: He was streaking fully dressed? What an idiot. MIKE: Let it drop, guys. >Once the tub was filled with water and he was completely nude, he stepped into the tub and sat down. MIKE: If this was me, the phone would be ringing right about...now. >Terriermon hopped in the tub with him, splashing Henry a bit. TOM (Terriermon): Marco! CROW (Henry): Polo! >Henry didn't mind as he was trying to relax a bit. MIKE: Twelve hours sleep exhausted him. >Henry opened his eyes and stared at Terriermon. CROW (Terriermon): What? Do I have a booger? >The small digimon was using his large ears to scoop up water and pour over himself. TOM (Henry): Hey, leave some water in the tub for me! >"Hey, Terriermon." Henry began to say. MIKE: He got as far as "He-" and his throat seized. >"Hmm..." The small digimon mumbled out. CROW (Terriermon): You know I can't talk till I've had my coffee. >"Well, I was wondering if you would mind staying home today?" Henry asked. TOM (Henry): Mom has some chores she needs done. >"Why?" Terriermon asked, turning to Henry. MIKE (Henry): I'm just saying we should see other people. >"I think it would be good for you to stay home for a couple of days, as to not arouse suspicion." Henry replied, slinking into the tub a bit more. CROW: What suspicion? These two wander around town and no one bats an eye at the talking rabbit-dog. TOM: Shoot, even the government agent in charge of killing Digimon knows, but he's too busy staring at Takato to do anything. >"Okay." Terriermon replied, wondering if that truly was the reason. MIKE (Henry's mother): Honey, are you all right? Who are you talking to in there? CROW (Henry): No one! Go away! >After a bit, Henry got out of the tub. TOM: That soap's there for a reason, kid. Use some! >Once he was fully dried off, he opened the drain in the tub, letting out the water. MIKE (Mr. Rogers): You can never go down, never go down, never go down the drain. You're bigger than the water; you're bigger than the soap. CROW: You're bigger than your telescope. TOM: I miss him. >Terriermon hopped on the edge of the tub, almost slipping back into the empty tub. CROW: Oh, yes, the bathroom is the most dangerous place in any home, doncha know. That's where 82.53% of all accidents happen. >Henry tossed Terriermon a dry towel as he started to get dressed. TOM (Henry): Should I? Yes! I'm going to wear the same clothes I wear every day! >By the time Terriermon was fully dried off, Henry was already completely dressed. CROW (Henry): I've got my orange vest on, I'm ready to pick up litter along the highway. >Henry picked up the wet towels and his dirty clothes and put them into the hamper. MIKE: Say what you will, this has been a fairly tidy fic so far. >Henry peeked out into the hall again and frowned, seeing his little sister already awake and wandering the halls. MIKE (Susie): Come play with us, Danny! >Henry picked up Terriermon and Terriermon immediately pretended to be a doll. CROW: Betsy Wetsy. >Terriermon hated to pretend to be a doll, but he had to admit he was getting good at it. TOM: He was thinking of taking his doll act on the road. The finale is him doing a ventriloquist routine with himself. >Once Henry made it back into the room, he piled all of his books into his backpack and got ready to go to school. CROW (Terriermon): Well, goodbye. Guess I'll pig out on chips and Coke and sleep through the afternoon. >Terriermon sighed, he wanted so badly to hand around the school instead of staying home. MIKE: The pop quizzes, the mystery meat, the towel snappings in the locker room, it's a cornucopia of fun! >"Sorry Terriermon, I'll try to get home ASAP. TOM (Henry): I may even come back ADORK or ANERD. >Okay?" Henry asked. CROW (Terriermon): Do I have a choice? >"Okay." The little digimon sighed in defeat. MIKE (Terriermon): Do I have to pay an indemnity until I'm taken over by fascists, too? >Henry rubbed Terriermon's head a bit before heading out the door to school. TOM (Henry): How long have you been using the greasy kid's stuff? >Terriermon sighed as he hopped over to the window and looked out, seeing Henry running off towards school. CROW: He's...leaving. He got naked and everything, and there was no sex. Mike, I'm scared. MIKE: It's okay. It'll be horrible in a minute. >Suddenly, the door began to open up a bit. TOM: Nothing happens all the way in this fic. It's always "a bit." >Terriermon immediately assumed the position of a doll and fell to the floor. CROW: He assumed the position! Now we can spank him! >Terriermon gulped as the door opened up wider revealing what Terriermon feared the most, Henry's little sister. MIKE (Susie): Shhh! Be vewy, vewy quiet. I'm hunting wabbit. Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh! >"Awww, is da wittle dolly all awone?" She asked, to what seemed to her to be a Terriermon doll, before picking up Terriermon. TOM: Awww, does da wittle wetard talk wike Babwa Wawa? CROW (Laurence Olivier): Is this a Terriermon doll I see before me? >"Well, momma gonna make it awll better." She replied as she began to walk out of Henry's room. MIKE: Why isn't she in school? Did Henry want the school all to himself today? >She took Terriermon back to her room and closed the door behind her. CROW (Susie): Now for the thumbscrews. >"Aww, you is all naked. TOM: No, not her! Bad fanfic! No Susie porn! MIKE: It's a yaoi. It can't be her. TOM: Whew! That's...almost a relief. Now I'm still wondering who today's loser is. >Momma gonna dwess you all up." CROW (LL Cool J): Momma said knock you out. >She set Terriermon on her bed as she began to dig through various doll clothes. MIKE (Susie): Cwap, where did I put that Fwench maid uniform? >First she pulled out a pink bonnet and attached it to Terriermon's head. TOM: With a staple. >Next she pulled out a white bib with a heart on it and attached that around Terriermon's neck. CROW: She's tying one on! Ha, ha! I crack myself up. >Lastly, she pulled a diaper out and put that on Terriermon. MIKE: You sure she didn't attach it, fanfic? >Terriermon was trying hard not to blush, as he was dressed so ridiculously. TOM: He had his heart set on the feetie pajamas. >"Now momma gonna feed you." MIKE (Susie): Today's special is poached salmon with potatoes au gratin. Would Monsieur like to see a wine list? >She grabbed a bottle with some milk in it and stuck it in Terriermon's mouth. TOM (Susie): Your mouth is supwisingwy wealistic, Tewwiermon. >Milk started to empty into Terriermon's mouth but he only let it fall right back out. CROW: 'Cause he's lactose intolerant. He'd be farting for the next week if he drank any. >From what he could taste, the milk was old and tasted a bit sour. MIKE: Kinda like Bill O'Reilly. >AS the milk left his mouth, it trickled down and fell on his bib. TOM (Terriermon): Look, if I wanted rancid milk, I'd have yogurt. >"Aww, baby made a mess. I gonna give ya a bath." CROW (Terriermon): But I just had one! I'll turn into a raisin! >She grabbed the bib and pulled it off, wiping some of the milk off. MIKE (Susie): So you didn't like the milk. How about a piece of the ham I hid under my bed three weeks ago? >She then made her way out of her room, to start drawing a bath. TOM: Strangely enough, a milk bath. >Terriermon took this chance and went to escape. CROW: Steve McQueen is Terriermon. >He ran out the nearest window and started to run towards the school. MIKE: Too bad for him Henry's family lives on the fourth floor. TOM (Terriermon): AAAAAAaaaaaaah! Thunk! >She came back to the room to get Terriermon and noticed he was gone. CROW (Susie): Now momma gonna watch her stowies in peace without her wittle bwat getting underfoot. >"Where did you go wittle dolly?" She asked as she began to search for Terriermon. TOM (Susie): A nation tuwns its wonewy eyes to you. >Meanwhile, Terriermon had gotten turned around and had run into the park. MIKE: And a mugger brained him with a baseball bat for a measly ten dollars, the end. >A small digimon had spotted Terriermon and went bug eyed. TOM: Hey! Tentomon's not in Tamers! >He leapt down from one of the trees in the park. CROW: And landed flat on his face. >Terriermon saw the purple digimon in front of him and blushed like mad. MIKE: Ladies and gentlemen, our Gay of the Day, Impmon! Give it up for Impmon! >"What the heck are you wearing?" Impmon asked. CROW: Ha ha ha! He's a clown! TOM: Hee hee! He amuses me! >It was only then when Terriermon realized that he was still wearing the bonnet and diaper. MIKE (Terriermon): Drat, I need the bib to complete the ensemble. >"Umm, Henry's little sister dressed me this way." Terriermon said lightly. CROW (Terriermon): It's from her new spring collection for Milan. >"Ha! No self-respectin digimon would let a puny human dress him up. TOM (Impmon): He'd want a big, strong human to do it! >Bada Boom!" CROW: God, the little comedian is doin' his own rimshots! >Terriermon turned away from Impmon. MIKE (Terriermon): Get thee behind me, tiny little Satan! >"It's not like I wanted her to." TOM (Terriermon): I just don't have any self-respect...d'oh! I hate it when you're right! >Impmon smirked. MIKE: How can you tell? He always smirks! >He formed a fireball on his finger. TOM: (Whistles "Sweet Georgia Brown.") >"Bada Boom!" he yelled as he threw the fireball at Terriermon. CROW: Hey, you forgot to tell the joke before the rimshot, you moron! >Terriermon immediately turned around. MIKE (Terriermon): I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention. Were you trying to kill me? >"Ha! You missed." Terriermon called out as he folded his arms across his chest. TOM (Terriermon): No kewpie doll for you! >Impmon only smirked at the scene he knew what would come. CROW: Even the prose makes Impmon sound like he comes from Jersey. >Terriermon began to smell something weird. MIKE (Terriermon): Impmon, you smell worse than I do, and I was dipped in sour milk before I left the house. >"Hey, do you smell something burning?" Terriermon asked. CROW (Terriermon): Smells like hassenpfeffer. HASSENPFEFFER?! >Impmon smirk only grew wider as he pointed to the diaper Terriermon had on. TOM: Yeah, it was marginally funny the first time, Impmon. >Terriermon looked down and started to run around madly. CROW: Look where you're going! You'll run into something! >Impmon started to roll on the ground, laughing at Terriermon. MIKE (Impmon): Look, this is how you put yourself out. Stop, drop, and roll, Terriermon! >After a bit, Impmon collect himself and look at Terriermon, who was still running around. TOM: By now he should be done to a turn. How is he still alive? >He stuck out a foot and tripped the small digimon. CROW (Impmon): Okay, stupid, joke's over. >"Let me help ya with that." Impmon said as he ripped the diaper off of Terriermon, throwing it to the ground, which put out the flames. MIKE (Terriermon): Oh, thanks. If you really want to help, how about NOT SETTING ME ON FIRE in the first place? >Terriermon blushed like mad as when the diaper was taken off it revealed his semi erect member. TOM: Luckily, it was hidden by the third-degree burns. >Terriermon always secretly liked it when the diaper was put on him. CROW: What is the obsession with diapers?! This is the second fic in a row with diaper nonsense in it! >The softness against his body really turned him on. MIKE: It turns him on so much, he can't get a full erection. >Impmon's jaw dropped when he saw Terriermon's semi erect member. TOM (Impmon): So that's what a penis looks like! Not that I don't have one. >"You do like it!" Impmon said as he started to laugh again. CROW (Impmon): I was only horsing around. You didn't have to become a fetishist. >"Terriermon likes to be dressed in a diaper! Bada Boom!" MIKE: Impmon's the one comedian Milton Berle never stole from. >Impmon started to say over and over again while rolling on the ground and laughing. TOM: Man, Carrot Top has a better act. Impmon'll be hitting stuff with a sledgehammer next. >Terriermon was blushing like mad and was also starting to get mad at Impmon. MIKE: He was okay with Impmon torching him, but the laughter was uncalled for. >When Impmon didn't stop, Terriermon's anger got to him. CROW: But he decided to blush some more anyway. >Terriermon jumped on top of Impmon, pinning the digimon down. TOM: Good job! Now, bounce him off the ropes and clothesline him! >"What the heck are you doing?" Impmon asked, trying to get free from Terriermon's grasp. CROW (Terriermon): It's my signature move, the Canine Clutch. >"I'm gonna teach you what it is like to be embarrassed." Terriermon said as he grabbed the partial burnt diaper that was near both of them. MIKE (Terriermon): There's no turnbuckles to jump off, so this diaper is going to have to do. TOM: Impmon majored in embarrassment. There's nothing more to teach him. >Having been dressed in a diaper for a while taught him how to put one on. TOM (Terriermon): You're a boy, so I want double thickness in the front.... >He quickly strapped a diaper on Impmon and let the purple digimon go. CROW: He's releasing him back into the wild where he'll live with his own kind. >Terriermon took one long look and then burst out in laughter at Impmon. MIKE: Today's lesson: diapers are funny! >"What are you laughing at Pip-squeak!?!" Impmon yelled out. MIKE: Am I a -- you guys already did the Goodfellas routine, huh? CROW: Yeah. Not that it's inappropriate here. TOM: You can use it again if you want. >He had to admit to himself, the diaper did feel nice. MIKE: It was on fire a minute ago! He should be looking for a bucket of water to sit in. >The softness surrounding his lower region felt so nice, especially when it rubbed against his groin. CROW: Come on, Impmon, it's like having a potato chip tied to your crotch. >Impmon's face became slightly red as he felt his own member extending a bit out of his sheathe. TOM: Since he's purple to begin with, he's a pale shade of fuchsia now. >Terriermon saw this and pulled the diaper off of Impmon. MIKE: That fire must have singed a huge hole in the diaper for Terriermon to see that. >Impmon's face became even more flushed when he felt he was exposed. CROW: Could we flush the whole thing and pretend it never happened? >"Ha! You like it also!" Terriermon yelled out, starting to laugh again MIKE (Terriermon): You're as sad and lonely as I am! Ha, ha! >"Shut up you long eared freak!" Impmon yelled back TOM: I...have nothing to add to that. CROW: Me neither. >"Oh ya, you demon reject!" Terriermon bellowed at Impmon MIKE: Cripes, we could be doing this. I'm going for snacks. Want anything? CROW: Chocolate-covered RAM chips would be nice. TOM: Honey mustard RAM chips, if there's any left. MIKE: I'll check. Be right back. (Exit.) >"Dog breath!" Impmon screamed CROW (Impmon): Or rabbit breath! I'm not sure! Help me out here! >"Purple monstrosity!" Terriermon screamed back TOM: Did he just call Impmon Barney? >"Antler head!" Impmon yelled out CROW: So he's not a dog or a rabbit, he's a deer. TOM: It's not safe for him on the meadow. >"Scarf wearing freak!" Terriermon screamed while smirking TOM: And that's hard to do. CROW: Um, Terriermon, check your neck.... >Impmon gasped. (MIKE enters and sits down.) MIKE: Beer for me, chocolate-covered RAM chips for Crow.... CROW: Thanks. This situation calls for chocolate. MIKE: Tom, we were out of the honey mustard, but I found some salt and vinegar RAM chips, I don't know if that's okay. TOM: Oh, those are even better! Thanks! >"No one makes fun of the scarf!" Impmon protested as he tackled Terriermon. MIKE: The one with the happy face on it? It makes fun of itself. >Terriermon gave a short "Eep" as Impmon landed on top of him. TOM: Our hero. When faced with danger, he says, "Eep!" >They started to roll on the ground for a bit until Impmon pinned Terriermon down now. MIKE: Why does the heel always get to win? >They landed in a particular position, however, as their members began to rub against each other. CROW: Don't Boy Scouts start fires by rubbing sticks together? MIKE: Kinda. >Both moaned out loud as the sensation. TOM (Impmon): I'm sorry! That was an accident. Did not mean for that to happen. CROW (Terriermon): Me neither. Let's pretend it never happened, okay? >The pair stopped for a minute, thinking about what they were doing and whom they were doing it with. TOM: Y'know, with these two characters wearing scarves, I'm surprised this yaoi didn't happen sooner. >The thinking didn't last long as their hips subconsciously pushed forward again, rubbing their members again. MIKE: Seriously, have either of these two ever thought for long? >The pleasure overrode their minds as they continued the moments. CROW: Celebrate the moments with International Coffee. >Impmon was the first to take control as he reached down and firmly grasped Terriermon's member. TOM (Impmon): Get this thing off me! >Terriermon moaned as Impmon started to move his gloved hand up and down Terriermon's shaft. MIKE (Terriermon): This isn't as good as humping somebody's leg. >The feeling of the cool cloth against his hot meat started Terriermon to already precum a bit. CROW: Then his wool allergy kicked in and his wang broke out in splotches. >Terriermon returned the favor as he reached down and grabbed the purple shaft of Impmon. TOM (Terriermon): Geez, you're doing it all wrong. Let me try. >Impmon gasped at the feeling of Terriermon's paw. CROW (Impmon): Ouch! Do you ever clip your nails? >Of course he had done this to himself but it took a whole new meaning with another. MIKE: It was far more depressing and humiliating. >Terriermon wasn't as subtle with Impmon as he was already moving his paw up and down faster and faster. TOM (Impmon): Ow! You're peeling all the skin off! Stop! >Impmon started to precum as well, his precum only serving to speed up Terriermon's strokes. CROW: These two are going to be the first to have sex and break the sound barrier at the same time. >Both moaned out loud, the feelings starting to overcome them. MIKE: Meanwhile, people in the park are jogging and playing and paying no attention at all to the sordid scene taking place under their noses.... >Being so close to their orgasms their hands started to move faster and faster. CROW: Faster and faster, until their hands turned to butter! >Terriermon was the first to orgasm, as he coated Impmon's glove with his load. TOM: And suede's impossible to clean. >Impmon was second as he covered Terriermon's paw with his own load. MIKE: If Terriermon goes first, then Impmon must come in second. They're the only two here. >Impmon brought his gloved hand to his face and slowly licked off his glove, seeming to savor Terriermon's taste. CROW: Yes, the delicious flavor of Alpo. >Terriermon did the same as he found the taste of Impmon to be intriguing. TOM: Um. I think I've had enough salt and vinegar for now.... MIKE: You okay? TOM: Yeah, I'll be fine, I just need to put these down for a while. >Impmon had a thirst for more as his head trailed down Terriermon's body. MIKE (Impmon): Have you got a soda fountain hidden on your person? >Impmon went down, past Terriermon green fur on his upper chest, CROW: Um, that's a neckerchief, fanfic.... >past the white fur on Terriermon's belly, down to his crotch. TOM: Where the fur is a deep cerulean blue tinged with vermillion. >Impmon gave one long lick, cleaning up the rest of the Terriermon's load. MIKE: His salivary glands secrete Mop and Glo. >Terriermon started to moan again as he felt Impmon's tongue go over every area on his member. CROW: Or, every member on his area. Which would be one. >Impmon then moved closer and started to suck only on the head of Terriermon's member. MIKE: Impmon's mom made him be polite and follow the "take a bite even if you don't want any" rule. >This drove Terriermon insane as he tried to pump the rest of his member into Impmon's mouth but Impmon wouldn't let him. TOM (Terriermon): Come on, I've had better sex dragging my butt on the ground. >Impmon started to suck hard on Terriermon's member head and began to lick it all over. MIKE (Impmon): Hey, there's no Tootsie Roll at the center of this! >Terriermon was moaning louder at the treatment. CROW: Join him, won't you? Roll your eyes, too. >Impmon decided that Terriermon had enough of his torture as he began to deep throat Terriermon's member. TOM: Insert your own damn joke about Gerald R. Ford here. >Impmon immediately felt the urge to gag but he suppressed it. MIKE: What do you know, Impmon has more willpower than us. Our gag reflexes are doing as they please right now. >Terriermon was nearly howling now because of the pleasure he was receiving. CROW: That, or the moon came out. >Impmon used his tongue to rub all over Terriermon's member, increasing the pleasure. TOM: To recap, Impmon licked Terriermon and Terriermon liked it. Then Impmon licked Terriermon and that was much better. Then Impmon licked Terriermon and that was best of all. Then Impmon.... >Terriermon bucked his hips in Impmon's face as his orgasm washed over him, spilling his load into Impmon's mouth. MIKE: He had one five seconds ago! Why does every male in a lemon have the refractory period of a Kennedy? >Impmon had a bit of trouble swallowing Terriermon's load but he eventually got it all down. CROW: He finished his meal. Now he can have dessert. >Terriermon fell backwards on the ground, breathing heavily from his orgasm. TOM: That winded him? Little butterball needs more exercise. >Terriermon's lying position on the ground left his entrance exposed. CROW: "Entrance?" I understood that was an exit. >Impmon's throbbing member didn't leave much thought as he positioned himself at Terriermon's entrance and started to push in. MIKE: And Impmon blows right past the greeter without pretending he wants a shopping cart. >Terriermon gasped as he felt Impmon fill him up. TOM (Impmon): That'll be $15.50. Check your oil, mister? >Impmon was almost yelling out in pleasure as he felt the tightness of Terriermon around him. CROW (Impmon): Wow, I'm having so much fun that I am in complete control of my emotions. >Impmon pulled somewhat out and pumped back in slowly at first. MIKE: He wants in, he wants out, he wants in, he wants out. I used to have a cat like that, always scratching at the door.... >His pace began to pick up, though, as he felt his orgasm coming over him already. CROW: Correct me if I'm wrong, Mike. Having an orgasm this fast is considered a bad thing, isn't it? MIKE: This is early for a guy, I'll admit. >Impmon gave some more pumps as he felt his orgasm wash over him. TOM: All these orgasms washing everywhere, yet it feels so dirty. >He shot his load into Terriermon's butt, some of it coming back out. CROW: Ooh. This is not a good time for chocolate. MIKE: You, too? You all right? CROW: I'll be fine. I need to stop a minute. >When Impmon orgasmed into him, Terriermon's own member shot out his load, covering Impmon's chest. TOM (Impmon): You got my happy face scarf all dirty! Now I gotta wash it. >Impmon pulled out of Terriermon and smiled at him. MIKE (Impmon): Thank goodness that's over. >"Well, thanks for the screw. I gotta go. MIKE (Impmon): I have to find a laundromat before these stains in my scarf set. >Bada Boom!" he yelled out as he leapt away. CROW: I'm hoping his next scene is the one where de Niro beats him up. >Terriermon only blinked at the scene and cleaned himself up a bit. TOM: He's clean, he's dirty, he's clean, he's dirty. This fic ought to be titled "Terriermon's Bath Day." >He got up and continued to run until he eventually found the school. MIKE: Which brings us to the moral: don't play hooky from school or you'll be ass-raped by an agent of Hell. >About this time, school was ending and the students were exiting the building. CROW: So that little scene in the park took the entire school day? >Terriermon saw Henry and rushed over to the boy and hopped on his head. TOM: Henry's going to need a lot of peanut butter to get the sticky out of his hair. >"Terriermon, I thought I asked you to stay home." Henry said to Terriermon, a hint of annoyance in his voice MIKE (Henry): If I only had a newspaper, you'd get such a swat! >"I did, but your little sister was dressing me up as a baby again and feeding me rotten milk. CROW (Terriermon): You know, like she's done every other day of my life? >I had to go." Terriermon explained TOM: Okay. Now can you justify casual sex with an almost total stranger? >Henry laughed a bit. MIKE (Henry): You don't have to tell me. Why, just last week Susie put me in plastic pants and a hair ribbon. >"I don't blame you, come on, let's go home." TOM (Henry): We can tie her to a chair for the rest of the day. >Terriermon gulped a bit. MIKE (Terriermon): You always taste semen twice. Got a Tums on you, Henry? >"Okay, only if you keep your little sister away from me." CROW (Terriermon): Someday I should learn your little sister's name. >This time, they both laughed as they continued their journey back to henry's house. TOM (Terriermon): And then, ha ha, you're not going to believe this, ha ha ha! I went to the park and banged Impmon! CROW (Henry): Ha ha ha! Man, you're right, that is a hoot -- WHAT?! >Meanwhile, Impmon was standing in one of the trees around the school. TOM (Takato): Hey, Impmon. CROW (Rika): Hi, Impmon. MIKE (Jeri): You better not kill my Digimon if I ever get one, you bastard! I mean, ruff ruff. >He looked down at the two, trainer and digimon. MIKE (Impmon): So, Terriermon, you'll call me, right? >He smiled a bit as his attention focused on Terriermon. TOM (Impmon): Oh, how I'm going to blackmail you! >He ran his gloved finger through some of Terriermon's cooling load and licked it off. CROW: He knows where that finger's been, and he still did it?! >He finished cleaning himself off as his mind dwelled on Terriermon. TOM (Impmon): What the hey was I thinking? I can do better than him. >He turned back to two and slowly watched them walk away. MIKE: Nice of them to stand there and wait while he cleaned off the spooge. >He smiled at Terriermon again and then hopped away. CROW: See why you don't have sex with bunnies? Hopping is a social disease. >The End TOM: Ah. My favorite part of a lemon. >I hope you all enjoyed this fic. MIKE: I hope you don't mind disappointment. >I look forward to reading all of your reviews. CROW: And now it's time for the traditional "Please please please review my work! I don't know if anyone's reading or not! Give me a sign!" >To all of you who want to flame my fic, I suggest that you don't. MIKE: Or I'll make you sit in the corner. >I will ignore all of the reviews which are flames because I gave you enough warning before the story as to what was going to be involved and if you just skipped over the story just to flame it, then I would suggest that go back and read it, who knows you might actually like it. TOM: Can you spot the independent clause in this picture? >There is a difference between a flame and a critical review of a story. MIKE: Uh-oh. He thought that he heard us laughing. CROW: He thought that he heard us sing. TOM: He thinks he thought he saw us try. >I would ask that if you do include anything you thought was wrong, like if I seemed to skip over something, because that can help me to become a better fanfic writer. MIKE: Did you two find anything wrong with this fic? CROW: A little bit. TOM: The usual. >For all of who would give this story a good review, I thank you in advance. CROW: 'Cause there won't be many opportunites after. >Anyway, thank you for reading my story or at least looking it over. MIKE: A passing glance, even. Just pay attention to me! >See ya later TOM: I'll be the one in the straightjacket! (MIKE, TOM, and CROW exit the theater. Doors slam as we return to the living quarters. MIKE, TOM, CROW, and GYPSY are gathered at a round table.) MIKE: Good evening, everyone, and welcome to the tonight's meeting of the Satellite of Love Debate Club. Tom Servo will be tonight's "for," Crow T. Robot is our "against," and the judge will be Gypsy. Gentlemen, are you ready for your topic? TOM and CROW: Ready! MIKE: Then let's begin. Tonight's topic is, "Terriermon is really a rabbit." Tom, please start. TOM: Terriermon. The name rings through Digimon history. But despite the long shadow cast by this digital great, controversy swirls. Is he really a dog? Let's look at the facts. First of all, the ears. Terriermon has big, big ears. Large and, dare I say it, floppy ears, not the short prick ears of true terriers. Then there is the little matter of the attacks, like the Bunny Pummel, that speak of nothing so much as carrots and an insatiable desire to gnaw. And need I mention Lopmon, an acknowledged rabbit who is almost Terriermon's twin? Ladies and gentlemen, I submit to you that this terrier is no terrier. He is bunny, and coney, and hare, and he appeals to the Elmyra instincts that lurk in kid sisters. I submit to you that this Terriermon is nothing less than a rabbit! MIKE: Excellent points. Crow, are you ready to make your case? CROW: I am, Mike. My esteemed colleague has challenged the reputation of one of the Digital World's greatest heroes. Why, I ask you? Let's review. First, my esteemed colleague is obsessed with Terriermon's magnificently outsized ears. What of them, I say? This is the Digital World, where appearance is largely meaningless. No one expects to see a real seal with an orange mohawk like Gomamon's, and Palmon remains a palm despite her branched leaf veining typical of real world dicotyledons. So what if Terriermon's ears are more hound than terrier? Then there is the trifling matter of the attack names. Can my esteemed colleague prove that the Bunny Pummel is how a bunny pummels, and not a way to pummel bunnies? And then, as my esteemed colleague's arguments crumble, he clutches at Lopmon, a confused individual uncertain of his or her own gender. My esteemed colleague claims that because Terriermon resembles this unfortunate rabbit, he must be a rabbit. I dare say he would claim that dogs that resemble their owners are in fact their owners. Ladies and gentlemen, I submit that my esteemed colleague has offered us nothing to prove that Terriermon is not a dog! MIKE: Excellent rebuttal. Gypsy, please review the scores and make your judgment. TOM: Wait, don't I get a counter-rebuttal? CROW: And don't I get a counter-counter-rebuttal? MIKE: Ordinarily, yes, but we're taking too long. Gypsy, have you made your decision? GYPSY: Yes, I have. MIKE: And it is...? GYPSY: I think that he is a unicorn. MIKE, TOM, and CROW: Huh? GYPSY: A unicorn. Fabled creature of myth. CROW: But Gypsy, if Terriermon was a unicorn, he'd have a horn growing out of his forehead! GYPSY: Case closed. CROW: Oh. I see your point, so to speak. You're right, Gyps', total unicorn. TOM: Wait a minute. Gypsy, you were supposed to decide if Terriermon is a dog or a rabbit. GYPSY: You've got your green alligators and long-necked geese.... TOM: Unicorns do not enter into the equation. This is a debate, there can't be more than two sides to the issue! GYPSY: Humpy-backed camels and chim-pan-zees.... TOM: Gypsy! Make a decision! CROW: My esteemed colleague, would you please shut your gob? GYPSY: Catsandratsandelephants as sure as you're born.... TOM: No! One of us must be right and Crow must be wrong! GYPSY: But the loveliest of all is the Terriermon! TOM: Mike! Do something! MIKE: Okay. I'll order a pizza. TOM: Grrr! MIKE: Oops, line's tied up. Must be Pearl. (Onscreen: PROFESSOR BOBO, with his finger bandaged.) BOBO: Hello, Mike! Did you know you shouldn't eat the peanut butter out of a mousetrap? I sure didn't! MIKE: Sorry to here that. Yes, I did know it. Where's Pearl? BOBO: Hiding. She said something about avoiding this next fanfic like the plague. I'm supposed to tell you it's by . Hope you like it. Bye now! (Back on the Satellite, MIKE is wrapping up debate club.) MIKE: Okay, the next meeting of the debate club is a week from Tuesday, when our topic will be "Lopmon: male or female?" (Lights flash and sirens blare.) Meanwhile, it's FANFIC SIGN! (To abort, open Hamdingers.)