Brain Dead 12 Studios Presents: Theater of Pain (verson 2.1) Qucik Note: As is always the case with this kinda thing I'm riffing without permission...You know the drill. With the exception of Nescaro and his gang I don't own any of the characters here. [Theme Song] In the not too distant future, somewhere in zone 13, Nescaro and his generals were hatching an evil scheme. A plan to beat their enemies and bring the Earth down to it's knees, they tricked Ranma and some friends into their base, then they knocked em on the noggin and they shot em into space. Nescaro: We'll send them shitty fan-fics. Kappa: The worst we can find [Lalala] Sakura: They'll have to sit and watch them all and we'll monitor their minds. [Lalala] Shrivanzella: Now keep in mind that we control when the fanfics begin and end [Lalala] Nagaii: These fics will break their sanity then we'll use them on their friends. Reviewer roll call: Ranma: This sucks! Ukyo: The pain.... Makoto: Vermilion must die! Jinnai: And you said I was crazy. Zoisite: Damn. Nuriko: Don't hate me cause I'm beautiful Shayla-Shayla: Get me a beer damn it! Misato: Don't hog the booze! Shinji: This I can run away from. Asuka: Dumkoff! Karou: Songs are nice. Gourry: Who are these people? Kiyoni: To die...to sleep... Mihosai: Huh? Afura: Arrrgh! Rei:.... [Open on the bridge of the SOH. Everything is pretty much the same as we left it last time (i.e. Shinji and Karou are snuggling, Zoisite and Nuriko are gushing over the situation, Rei's just…..Being Rei, and everyone else is lying on the floor twitching. Slowly everyone starts recovering] Misato: Well so much for you being afraid of affection. Shinji: [shrug] Well I did tell you. Asuka: I'm gonna throw up! Zoisite: [Sniff] Young love.... Nuriko: How sweet. Ranma: Oh stop. Shinji: One thing I don't understand...How are you here didn't I....? Karou: [Shrug] Never question good fortune. Ukyo: Not much of that around here. [The red light flashes] Ranma: Look sharp, Marky Mark and the Funkybunch are calling. [Hits the button] Nescaro: Oh for crying out loud haven't you people done anything? Nagaii: Just what do you think they do when they're not watching the fics anyhow? Nescaro: How should I know. Anyways kiddies, we're not gonna waste any time tonight. You fic tonight was chosen especially for your new members. It's a feted little mess call F^3 angel, and I hope it goes down hard. Let em have it! Nagaii: You got it. [Hits the button] [SOH] Ranma: We got fic sign! Misato: Let's do it! [hits the button. All run into the theater] PM Productions Presents A particularly sick fic by Phillip Masters Shinji: The author is admitting it's sick? Ranma: We're in trouble... F^3 Angel NOTE TO HUANG: I don't know if you even want to go here.... Zoisite: Well we don't. Ukyo: When have we ever? If you haven't seen F^3 Makoto: You're damn lucky. Jinnai: Even I didn't like that one. (where have you been?), you don't necessarily have to, but it would help to fully understand the story line. Asuka: Such as it is. Now, on with the nastiness.... Misato: Anyway we can talk you out of it? WARNING: This is not just a lemon... Nuriko: It's a way of life. Shayla: And it's gonna be the death of us. this is raunch... pure and total... Ukyo: Okay I'm really worried now. Kiyoni: Me too. Mihosai: This is gonna hurt isn't it? however, I hope to be somewhat entertaining as well Jinnai: Keep hoping. Karou: Just as long as I'm not in this I'm happy. ...whatever... She rubbed herself harder. Jinnai: [Edward G. Robinson impersonation] I'm gonna rub ya out see? Makoto: Jinnai you are out there. Jinnai: Thank you. She dug Asuka: For coal. four of her fingers into herself, repeatedly. She clenched her teeth, thinking of having a hard, long cock sliding in and out of her. Shinji: Umm just who is this anyway? She felt electric sparks Gourry: Isn't it kinda hard to get a grip on a spark? Ranma: Huh? Gourry: Well if she's feeling it.... Kiyoni: It never ends.... Jinnai: Kinky. [Asuka and Makoto both nail him] shooting up from her crotch in waves. All (except Rei): [Start waving] Explosions rivaling the Second Impact wracked her body. Jinnai: Just trust me on this. She was riding the edge, Karou: [Singing] Living on the edge! ready to be launched into the awesome crevice of pleasure and pain beyond. Unfortunately, she couldn't do it. Misato: [British accent] I was debliberatly wasting your time. Ayanami Rei has a problem, a *bad* problem. Shinji: This is about..... Ranma: Her? [Everyone glances at Rei, who still just sits there. However she is gripping the armrest of the couch a bit tightly.] She can't come. Asuka: But she should go. She is a very miserable young woman... Ukyo: So am I. (Author's Note: Hell, this could be the end of the fic right here, Asuka: Please let it be.... Ranma: Don't bother. would explain a lot of things ^_^ Unfortunately, I'm going on....) Asuka: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Ranma: Told you. THE NEXT DAY... Jinnai: An angle attacked and killed everyone? Misato: That's dark. Makoto: He's just warming up. "Asuka!" Rei whined, something she most definately did *not* do on a normal basis. Asuka: Are you kidding? She barely even talks! Zoisite: [Glancing Rei's way] For some reason I'm really worried… Karou: You should be. So shocked was Asuka by this, she didn't even notice that Rei had said anything whatsoever. Ukyo: Well we've got more in common then I thought. Asuka: I am right here you know. Her mind simply compared the sound of the voice and the tone of the voice to all known files, and came up with a Jinnai: Glazed doughnut. Misato: What? Afura: It's best not to try. big zero. Shinji: Kinda like this fic. Karou: Very dull. Rei poked Asuka in the side. "Asuka!" she repeated, sounding desperate. Ranma: Desperate for this thing to end. This time, the auburn haired girl could do nothing but stare incredulously at the sight before her. Little Miss Perfect had a look in her eyes that was one borne of utter and total frustration. Ranma: I know the feeling. Gourry: We all do. She shook herself out of her trance. "What is it, Rei?" "I need help." Nuriko: You aren't the only one. This time, the first child's voice came out in a whisper, and Asuka was almost floored as she noticed she was blushing. "For God's sake, with what?!" Asuka asked, seriously curious as to what Rei was getting at. Jinnai: I though the point is what she can't get at. Gourry: There's a point? The blue haired girl leaned forward and whispered in her ear. Asuka's eyes widened to unimanigable levels. She looked at Rei incredulously. "You're joking?" Ranma: No but we are. Rei ruefully shook her head in negation. Asuka found herself dumbfounded for a second. To think, Wonder Girl couldn't get off. Karou: No but your putting me off. Now that was a development she wouldn't have thought of. Shinji: And I'd rather not think about. She wouldn't wish that on her worst enemy for crying out loud. Ukyo: I wouldn't wish this fic on my worst enemy. Zoisite: I would. Nuriko: Boys will be boys. Well, maybe that one bitch in class C, but... well, that's another story. Right then, she had a job to do. Kiyoni: At Mcdonald's. "All right! Rei-chan, we are going to get you off, if it's the last thing we do!" All (except Rei of course): It will be! Rei: [Has now got a very tight grip on the armrest] She cracked Jinnai: Her skull. Asuka: [Whacks Jinnai] her knuckles for effect. She noticed Rei was red... and with her skin tone, this meant *red*. Ranma: Kinda follows doesn't it? Misato: Check your brain at the door. Shayla: Not enough beer on the ship to make this enjoyable. She blinked a few times and glanced around. It seemed she said that a bit loudly, and in a classroom full of students, whose eyes were all locked on the two of them. How embarrasing. Ukyo: How ironic. Misato: How boring. Ranma: How true. Asuka lowered her voice again after scaring everyone around away with a dirty look... Jinnai: All she has to do to scare me away is open her mouth. Asuka: [Slams Jinnai into the floor] except for a few guys who just seemed to draw closer with the look. They were disposed of with swift kicks to the groin. Shinji: This whole fic could use one of those. "Okay, Rei. What have you tried?" Jinnai: Pot, cocain, speed.... Shinji: Your weird. Jinnai: I'm not the one sleeping with an albino. Karou: [Shrug] Rei looked thoughtful for a second. Then she answered in her usual monotone, "Everything." Ranma: Want the list? "Fingers?" Asuka asked. Ukyo: Great move Ranchan. Rei nodded. "Dildo?" Nod. "Vegetable?" All (still excluding Rei): [Blink] Ukyo: What the.... Makoto: If they say one word about jello... Misato: Ummm Rei are you alright? All: [Glance at Rei who now is gripping the armrest so tightly she's starting to break it] Ranma: Ohhh man here we go again.... Asuka: Huh? Ukyo: Fic trauma. That happens a lot around here. Nod. "Pen Pen?" Misato: Okay I call foul! Rei: [Is almost starting to look angry now] Jinnai: Oh man....Get the trench ready... Nod. "Shinji?" Nope, Rei shook her head at that. "Well, that's good, 'cause he's mine!" Karou: Well actually.... Asuka: [Growls a little] Shinji: This is starting to look bad. Asuka cooled off a bit from her outburst and continued, "So, you haven't tried a man?" Jinnai: No but I once tried skydiving. Ukyo: Oh stop. "No." "Well, I suppose we should try that first, let's get you a good man." Zoisite: Those are hard to find. Nuriko: Your telling me. Karou: You just need to know where to look. [Smiles at Shinji] Shinji: [Blush] Ukyo: Now cut that out! She looked around the class briefly, "None here, perhaps in one of our other classes?" At the end of the day, still no dashboard dice (you know? Those dangly things...). Ranma: We all got that yes. Gourry and Mihosai: I didn't. [Look at each other weird] Jinnai: Possibly a mating who knows? Kiyoni: God I hope not. Asuka was getting about as frustrated as Rei. Makoto: She's still not as frustrated as we are. "All right!" Asuka cried out all the sudden, startling a few passerbys on the sidewalk outside the school. "I give up, there are no good guys." She sighed, "Looks like I'll have to take matters into my own capable hands." Asuka: This better not be heading... Ranma: It is. "How do you mean?" Rei wondered out loud. Asuka lidded her eyes sensuously, "I mean," She lifted a finger in the air and wiggled it, "into my own hands." Asuka: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Jinnai: Damn switch to decafe. Shinji: Not a good thing to say. Asuka: [Beats Jinnai within an inch of his life] Makoto: [Whacks Asuka] Misato: This is starting to get out of hand. Rei: I don't like this. "That is what I was afraid of." Zoisite: Your not the only one. Though, inside, Rei couldn't help but get a little turned on by the prospect. In fact, she could allready feel herself getting soaked between the legs. Rei: [Is now growling softly] Ranma: Oh man...She's not gonna hold out much longer I don't think… Asuka dragged Rei back to her apartment. Karou: And dragged her name through the mud. Jinnai: Impossible. They couldn't use Asuka's place, because both Shinji and Misato would most likely come in at any time, if not allready be there. So, Rei's Spartan domicile would have to sufice. Gourry: What? Jinnai: Who knows? Zoisite: Who cares? Not like they needed all kinds of room or anything. Asuka: [Starting to look a little angry herself] Ranma: Oh man.... Jinnai: Think we should just get in the trench now? Shinji: [Very frightened look] Karou..... Karou: [Slips an arm around Shinji] Ukyo: I'm gonna be sick.... Asuka waved her hand at Rei. "Strip." She ordered simply. Rei did as told, removing her school uniform with exacting precision, only faltering once because she accidentally brushed one of her rock hard nipples. Rei: [Growling a bit louder now] Nuriko: Damn, this doesn't look good. Jinnai: [Pulls out the portable trench] Asuka stood back and took in Rei for a moment. She really was a beauty. Jinnai: If you're into the albino look that is. Karou: You're a rude boy aren't you? In every way. She had a cute face, if you could get past the red eyes, and the body of a super model. Her skin may be a bit pale, but it was as creamy as it looked. Asuka stepped forward and reached out to rub one of Rei's pert breasts. Asuka: I did what?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Jinnai: [Hurriedly sets up the trench] It was so perfectly molded and round, almost as if it were manufactured. Makoto: What is this a Marilyn Manson video? That almost sent a shiver through her as the connections to Rei and dolls made itself apparent. Rei: [Is now snarling] Asuka: [Looks about ready to explode] Ranma: Everyone into the trench! However, that passed as Rei had the very undoll-like reaction of sharply inhaling, making her breast fill Asuka's hand fully. All: (Except Rei and Asuka) [Jump into the trench] Misato: It's kinda crowed in here. Shayla: You'll get used to it. Jinnai: Hey! Watch what your grabbing Zoe! Zoisite: Sorry, I was looking for Nuriko's. Nuriko: Ouch! Shinji get your finger out of my ear! Shinji: First get your knee outta my groin! Ukyo: That better be Ranchan's hand I'm feeling back there! Makoto: Sorry Ukyo! Ranma: Mmph! [Can't really talk as he's being suffocated by Afrua's bosom] She could feel the intense warmth coming from Rei, and she slid her palm over the extended nipple jutting from the peak of the soft mound. Gourry: Umm guys aren't we supposed to be riffing the fic. Makoto: Only when our lives aren't in danger....Hey! Who just goosed me? Karou: Sorry. Rei closed her eyes in ecstasy. It felt so good having someone warm and with a pulse touch her this way. For some reason, the fact that the person was also a gorgeous woman, turned her on extra strong. Rei: [Starts to glow bright red.] Asuka: [Takes one look at rei and dives into the trench] Perhaps this would work? Perhaps she would finally come. Asuka: Hey watch it! Shayla: What do you mean? You're the one that landed on me! Misato: Will you two stop? Shinji: How long....? Ranma: Should be right about... Rei: [Screaming] I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! Ranma: Now. Rei: [Jumps off the couch and turns into something that resembles a mini-eva] I'll kill you you bastard! Ukyo: Sounds like it hit her really hard...[Huge explosion. A few moments later everyone (that's able to) glances out of the trench. The theater is more or less in ruins (except for the screen). Rei is sitting on the remains of one of the couches looking as if nothing had happened. Everyone leaves the trench all of them looking more then a little worried] Misato: Rei? Rei: Yes? Misato: You alright? Rei: Yes. Shinji: [Sigh of relife] Looks like she's back to normal. Jinnai: Now try saying that without laughing. So enthralled and ecstatic over her thoughts was Rei, that she reached forward and took Asuka into a hug. Misato: I'd rather take her back to Germany. Asuka: Misato? Zoisite: Welcome to the dark side. She closed her eyes and kissed her right on the lips firmly. She greedily sucked on the lips, Jinnai: Hey this whole thing sucks. Ranma: Too easy. in awe of the powerful feelings it sent to every erogenous zone on her body. She was caught by surprise by Asuka's tongue sliding through her teeth, seperating her jaw forcefully. Karou: Separation anxeity. Ukyo: Good enough. Her surprise soon gave way to another level of pleasure as she explored the new intruder with her own tongue. Asuka: [Launches into a long tirade of German swear words] The two girls pressed against one another tightly, rubbing each other's back with an amazing desperation. Shinji: Sounds like they're as eager for this to be over as I am. Rei: Yes. Even Asuka was finding herself quite hot, which she wouldn't have figured on being with a woman. Asuka: [Growls] Jinnai: Not twice in the same fic! Her hands soon found their way down the fine curves of Rei's back to come to rest on her soft rear. She sqeezed and kneaded the warm smooth flesh, pulling apart the cheeks and pressing them together slightly. She heard, as well as felt, Makoto: Us throwing up. the reward of Rei's gasp in her ear. Encouraged, she moved her hands into the warm inviting spot Gourry: Florida. between Rei's legs. She slid her fingers through the wet folds found there. She was momentarily shocked at how turned on Rei was, judging by the amount of fluids running out of her pussy. Karou: And out of our mouths. Zoisite: You learn pretty fast. Karou: Comes with the work. She couldn't be far from coming. Hell, she probably wouldn't even have to incorporate any oral action to finish this job. Piece of cake... SIX HOURS LATER... Ranma: This damn fic still won't be over. "Come on, Asuka, I'm almost there! A little more! To the left, to the left! Zoisite: Sound familiar Nuriko? Shinji: It does to me. Jinnai: The left, the left! Dickweed! No, stop that... oh, jeez, yeah put it there..." Rei was riding the wave. Shootin' the curl. Misato: At this rate I'm gonna shoot myself. Unfortunately, try as she and Asuka might, she just couldn't make the Big Kahoona. Mihosai: They're surfing? Kiyoni: I haven't got the heart. After two hours, Asuka's tongue refused to work anymore. Jinnai: If only her mouth would do the same....[WHAM!] Shinji: Some people never learn. It may be the strongest muscle in the body, but even it has its limits. Ukyo: So do I. However, a fully charged TI-129 doesn't. No, I don't mean a calculator. Karou: We guessed that thank you. Though, this sucker is definately good at division. Shinji: I'd like to subtract this fic. Asuka: For once your right. Asuka was taking a breather, and watching in rapt awe as Rei squirmed about on the bed with multiple dildos penetrating her every hole. All: What the hell!?!?! It was annoying the way the little ones in her nostrils kept falling out. Shinji: ARRGH! Karou: Make it stop! Jinnai: Turn it off! Ranma: Stop the insanity! The bed was pretty much soaked straight through with vaginal fluids, mostly from Rei. Asuka could swear the girl has an endless supply. Afura: I can't say it. Shayla: I need booze.... Misato: You're not the only one. She herself ran out over an hour ago, after her twenty first orgasm. Another ten minutes later, Asuka decided to throw in the towel. Ranma: Thank god. This just was not working. She pulled the phallic devices from Rei with a number of squishing sounds. She was so damn sore, Jinnai: Not as sore as we are. she was sure she wouldn't be able to wear a plug suit for two weeks. Rei, on the other hand, looked disappointed. Rei: I'm not. "Aw, Asuka!" she whined, "I was almost there!" Jinnai: Well if ya come around again jump off. Asuka fell off the bed, Makoto: Timber! though from shock or slipperiness mixed with exhaustion she wasn't sure. One thing was most definately sure though, "Rei, you are not going to come." Ranma: So let us go. Rei looked infinitely dejected, though resigned to her fate. This made Asuka fire up Misato: The grill. again. How could she admit defeat?! Shinji: It's not difficult. Even with so much going against her, she couldn't quit!! Ranma: Says you. She just needed to change Ukyo: The sheets. her approach. "Rei," she declared grandly, "You need a man!" Karou: Don't we all. Unfortunately, they would have to settle for a boy, due to the lack of available and willing men. They figured Shinji would be the easiest Shinji: No thank you. target, since they knew him well enough and they are all on the same team. Ukyo: I wouldn't really call that a team. Both women just hoped Shinji had grown a bit since they last saw him in the buff. Karou: Anything over a mouthful is wasted. Elsewhere, Ikari Shinji had no idea what the evil fates (second cousins of Urd, Skuld, and Belldandy) had in store for him. Shinji: .... Ranma: Welcome to hell. No idea what cruel and unusual, most unusual, punishment was heading his way. Jinnai: Well what did we do to deserve having to watch it? He was about to lose a lot more than his virginity, and no it was not going to be pretty. Karou: Nothing has been so far. END All: [Cheer] Hmmm... that was officially sick. Jinnai: You're telling us. Andrew, if you made it this far, feel free to publicly fleece me. Ukyo: How about we do it instead? Anyone else may do so, but only if you have the *proper* issue Chicken Cannon (TM Megane Industries All Rights Reserved). Thanks for reading, for what it was worth. Karou: Nothing. PMasters Ukyo: More like pms. Jinnai: Asuka will be back in the bells of St.Mary's....No one knows why. Misato: We should get out of here. [They all try] Ranma: Huh? Asuka: They won't let us out? Misato: There's more? Nescaro: [Over the speakers] Just kidding. All: Asshole! [They all get shocked] Shinji: Let's go. [They all leave. Later on the bridge] Ukyo: Well another lemon put out of our misery. Shinji: Is it always like this up here? Makoto: Yep. Karou: Oh well. Might as well make the best of things. [Extends a hand to Shinji] Shall we? Shinji: Be gentle... Karou: Don't worry...[They both leave] Ranma: Ummm..... Ukyo: Every day in every way this place gets weirder and weirder. [Red light flashes] Ranma: What do ya think? [hits the button] Nescaro, Kappa, Nagaii: [In unison] Bah! Nescaro: Push the button. Nagaii: You got it. [End]