WBS Fanfic reviews from hell! Starring: The WBS fanfic review bored: Scott Beggerow-Hentai wiseass, fanfic guru, and offical punching bag Katja Subic-The new girl Donald Vincent-Web Navigator Kevin Costello-Another newbie Elizabeth Vincent-The sane one (yeah right) Dana Carmine-Phreakie girl extordinary. Also Starring: The Webmaster and WBS’s Larry. [We open as always on the bridge of the semi-good ship Netcruiser. Only Don and Liz are visible, and both of them look a bit annoyed.] Don: Hi everyone. Welcome aboard the Netcruiser, our own private hell. A lot’s been going on since last time. We lost both Karma and Joanna in the data stream… Liz: So the web master sent me Katja and Kevin here. If your wondering where everyone else is….[Loud moaning is heard off screen] That should answer your question. [The siren goes off] Don: Pull out guys the agent of hell are calling. [Scott, Kat, Kevin, and Dana all stagger in. Don pushes a button sending us to the Wedmaster’s lair. Think Deep 13 with a lot more wires and such. The webmaster (who looks disturbingly like Dr. Clayton Forrester) is standing at the consile] Webmaster: Hello my little elves. How’s everything up there? [NC] Everyone: [sarcastically] Just great. [WL] Webmaster: Oh good. Anyway I’ve been having a little trouble here so I had to hire some new help. Larry! Get in here! [WBS’s Larry (Who looks like T.V.’s Frank with red hair) runs in.] Larry: Hi your stinkiness. Wedmaster: Remind me to kill you later. Larry: Okay. Webmaster: That’s what I get for calling dial a stooge. Anyhow your fanfic for tonight is probably vermilions finest to date. [NC] Everyone (But Kat): [Screams in mortal terror] [WL] Yes quite. Enjoy. Push the button Larry. [WC] [The sirens go off] Scott: We’ve got hentai sign! Come on we gotta move! [Hits the button. In a moment every enters the theater and sits down in the following order: Aisle, Scott, Kat, Don, Liz, Kevin, Dana] Dana: This iz gonna be the worzt yet. Scott: Kat I hope you have a stronge stomach. Evangelion: 2 Into 1 A Lemon by Vermillion Don: In other words get the bags ready. last screwed with Liz: Right now. 5/25/1998 Scott: A date that will live in infamy. It's been a while since I have written anything of this nature. Kevin: Not long enough. That nature being pornographic, with some "extreme" language, nudity, and whatelse your mind can generate from this work. Katja: All I can think about is shotguns for some reason. In other words, Parents, get your childrens permission, 'cause we're in the raw now! Scott: Among other things. So, I felt the need to become one of the first to penetrate (yes, that pun was intentional) All: [Weak laugh] the barrier and write an EVA lemon. Scott: I hate to say this, but you’re a little late. Katja: Not late enough. And before anyone bitches me out, I just have to say that I wouldn't do it if I didn't love the series. Dana: And that makez a difference to uz? Scott: Remember he loves Sailor Moon too. I currently own volumes 1-7 dubbed(they're cheaper), and have seen nothing beyond that, most of the manga released by Viz here in the states, two wall posters (of my favorite character, Asuka), Dana: I didn’t think he had zuch good tazte. Scott: You feeling okay? and the 3rd soundtrack. And I can't get enough of EVA! Kevin: And we’ve already had enough of you. Anyhoo, this one pits our hero, Shinji, at home, with Asuka. (Hey, he lives with 2 very attactive females). Scott: Which probably doesn’t affect him much. Kevin: Watch it. This might be a bit of a spoiler to new fans of Evangelion, so, if you don't want to spoil yourself, then close this document NOW, but otherwise, read on. Scott: And never be able to watch EVA again. Some notes: I don't really like writing with too much detail, Don: He always gives too much detail for me. I like to give my readers an idea of what is to be seen, and let the mind fill in the blanks. Feel free to abuse me about the poor quality or my work, Katja: We will thank you. as I need more fanning to the flame of my ultimate depression and end, and I would like it to be on your mind when I die, and you WILL feel responsible! Katja: We’ll be dancing in the streets you mean. Scott: And singing hallalua. To put it more nicely, I put (some) time and care into writing this, so don't flame me too badly, alright? Don: We only flame you as much as we think you deserve. Oh, and BTW, I dedicate this to my dear friend Eriku. ===================================================================== ================== Backgrond Info: This takes place some time after Asuka moves in with Misato and Shinji. Scott: Dana you should worry. Here's how I split it off (or, if you like to think differently, Kevin: I’d rather not think of it at all. how it might have happened one evening, as everything that happens every single minute isn't chronicalled). Liz: Thank god for that. As usual, Asuka has failed another test due to not knowing Kan-ji, and Misato lets her have it. Don: And she can keep it. Everyone else: [Groan] I tried doing something different with this one. I made Asuka come out of her shell, and I gave Shinji a little more concern. Scott: And you’ll probably give us another reason to hate you. ===================================================================== ================== A rainy day. Scott: [Singing] I’m only happy when it rains…. Dana: Keep your day job. The skies over Tokyo-3 seemed even gloomier than usual. More so for Asuka Langley Soryuu than usual. Don: Point please. Scott: The sting ain’t gone away huh? "I just don't understand it! All: Neither do we! How can someone who 'graduated' from college get these kinds of grades?". Katja: Graduate from a college in new york. Scott: Asuka does have an acedemic advantage. Dana: Zcott, if you zay what I think your going to….[pulls out her golf bag] Scott: I’ll shut up Boss. As usual, Major Katsuragi wasn't very happy with the performance of the Second Child. Don: [As Misato] Damn it how many time do I have to demonstrate oral sex to you? Everyone else: [Whacks Don] "What is the problem, anyway? Is it something personal?" Kevin: Nahh we just hate lemons. And as usual, the Second Child had something to say. Scott: Please keep it to yourself. "Of course not! It's just that your Japanese teachers don't seem to be able to do their job!" Katja: With a student like that I’m not surprised. Misato shoots her that evil stare. "The teachers are perfectly capable of doing there job. I want to see improvement from both of you by the next report". Don: So they’re studying to be a threesome? Scott and Katja: [in unison] Kinky….I mean….! [double blush] Misato leaves for her evening rounds and slams the door. The dormant Shinji Ikari stirs. Scott: More like door matt. Kevin: That’s two strikes man. "Jeez, I wish Misato would get off our backs. Right Asuka?" Scott: That seems a little out of character. Then again I ain’t seen much EVA. "WHAT!?!? Oh, yes. I don't know how she expects the fate of the world to ride on my shoulders AND for her to want to see good exams coming out of me!" "I guess so.." udders the Third Child. Liz: So he’s a cow now? Kevin: This is gonna be rough. "Well, the nerve of some people. Anyhow, seeing as how we have the night off, I'm going to go do something, which has absolutely no concern of yours. So stay away!" Don: We wish we could. The Second Child storms out. Shinji finishes his instant ramen and goes to his room. Katja: I don’t know why, but that worries me. Scott: Your learning. He picks up a magazine and puts on the earpieces of his portable music player, and loses himself in an article. Scott: And we wish Vermilion would get lost. Hours later, when he takes his earpieces out, he hears sobbing. Liz: That’s probably from us. Dana: Nahh juzt yawnz. Thinking it was the neighbors, he paid it no heed, and began to read again, this time, sans the music. But the sobbing grew louder. Kevin: As did the snoring. EVA-01's pilot gets off of his floor matress and goes to investigate. All: [Yawn] Scott: Really we should enjoy this boredom, I’ve got a bad feeling the pain will begin soon. He reaches the door to Asuka's room. The sobbing became louder. Shinji, having no idea what was going on, Liz: Well there’s probably some one crying in there. slides the door open. Sure enough, there sat Asuka, in her night clothes, head buried in her knees, crying her eyes out in the corner. Katja: And we care because? At first, Shinji felt disgusted. For someone who claimed to be so great, she seemed to have lost it. Scott: She didn’t have much to lose though. Dana: [Whacks Scott] Then, at second, he felt remourse. At least that proved that she was human. But something seemed so different about Asuka. Scott: Nahh I ain’t touching this one. Perhaps it was the way the moonlight hit her. Kevin: [Drools a little] Shinji takes a step forward. Don: And I’d like to take a step right out of this theater. "Asuka..." "GO AWAY!" screams the Second Child. All (except Dana): [Cringe] Scott: Switch to decafe! "What's wrong?" Dana: [As Asuka] I just read evening at lita’s! All: [Scream] "NOTHING! LEAVE!" Shinji moves a little closer to her. Scott: Not a good idea really. "Is it what Misato said?" Asuka continues crying. Shinji moves closer. Don: And we still don’t care. "I know what it feels like to get negative reinforcement from someone in authority." All: [Blink] Scott: When did he start talking like that? Dana: I think Vermilion iz trying to zound zmart here. Don: Wasted effort. "SHUT UP!" All: Please! Shinji becomes the recipient of a pillow shot. "Why don't you tell Misato the truth?" Scott: Because truth hurts? Don: You can do better then that. Scott: [Points at Dana, who has the mallet out] Don: Ohhhhhh. "Because she hates me!" Katja: Can you blame her? "Misato Katasuragi can only hate the Angels." "BUT SHE HATES ME!" "No she doesn't" Shinji lowers his voice and moves next to her. "Then why does she say things like that to me?" Scott: Because it’s in the script. "I guess...it's just a natural parental mechanism, to want their child to be the best." Liz: Nothing we can say about that. "SHE'S NOT MY MOTHER!" Scott: Get that girl some prozac! Don: Or a hit in the head. Dana: What waz dat? Don and Scott: [Sweatdrops] Nothing…. "Hey, calm down. Everything's going to be ok." Scott: I wouldn’t be so sure. "..." Shinji sits down next to her. "Why don't you just vent your anger? I read that it helps" Scott: That probably wasn’t the best thing to say…. "Well, I don't know" "Come on, say it, and you'll feel better." "I wish...I wish...I wish..." Scott: I were a fish. Katja: Honey? Scott: Sorry, jet lag. "Yes?" "I wish someone would care for me..." Scott: Keep wishing. Dana: [Mallets Scott] Shinji is shocked. "What do you mean?" "I've been alone for these 14 years. My mom died when I was young. I never saw much of my father. All I have known is lonliness!" Scott: And all we’ve know lately is resentment what’s your point? Shinji begins to say something, but can't find the words. Scott: Let’s hope it stays that way. He remembers how his dad dumped him at his uncle's when he was young. "No one cares about me. Scott: I know I don’t. Dana: It’z not worth the trouble. Sure, boys at school like me, but I know they're only interested in what's on the outside." Kevin: Dana, you’ll kill me if I say it right. Dana: Yez. "Well, I guess so, Aida and Suzahara have made a small fortune off of pictures of you". Asuka's face turns as red as her piloting suit out of embarrasment and anger. Don: Get on with it please. "Can't anybody accept me? Scott: Nope. I fail a couple of lousy tests and..." Asuka balls up her fist and strikes the ground. "It's ok" "NO IT'S NOT!" Katja: I’m with her on this one. "Yes it is!" Dana: No it’z not! Kevin: Yes it is! Scott: I dunno. All: Third base! "How do you know?" Don: He read the script. Shinji is about ready to verbally let her have it himself. But he knows she will only get worse. Scott: If that’s possible. "Because it happens. It happens to all of us. The gifted and the meager." Dana: We’ve got plenty of thoze. "But I don't feel smart anymore!" Scott: Too easy. "Asuka, look me in the eye and tell me you're not smart! You already graduated from college! Do you need someone to remind you what you have accomplished?" Dana: [As Asuka] Yes. "..." Shinji boils over. Scott: So turn down the fire. Kevin: And get a mop. He was going to let what was on his mind beat common sense in the head. Liz: Huh? Scott: Who knows? "Asuka Langley Soryuu, Scott: This is your life! Don: And welcome to it. you are smart and beautiful. And I don't know what anyone wouldn't care about someone with the obvious talent that you possess!" Katja: That sounds kinda familiar….[Glances at Scott] Scott: Oh come on, I’m not that bad. For the first time, Asuka looks up at him. Liz: [As Asuka] Damn your ugly. "Do you mean that?" Don: Well no…. "OF COURSE I DO!" he says, in his usual anrgy disdain. Asuka procedes to continue crying, and Shinji puts his hand on her shoulder. Liz: And that puts us right back where we were. Scott: You’ll get used to it. "Asuka, never let anybody make you think that you are not beautiful or smart. I can teach you Kanji. It takes a while, but..." The moonlight hit Asuka in a particular way, Scott: Here it comes folks. such that Shinji could see down her night shirt. It wasn't anything he hadn't seen before. Scott: Why do I doubt that? But he had enjoyed the thought. The first time he really got off was thinking of when he saw her changing on the aircraft carrier. He blushed a little. He feels inspired. Don: Would that be divine insperation? Dana: No. He whispers in her ear. "Misato was just upset at Kaji. She didn't mean any harm. Scott: Well not much anyhow. And if you real need anyone to tell you you're special, well, I think that you are". Kevin: Kiss up. Scott: Your not much better. Katja: Neither are you. Suddenly, a warm feeling comes over her. Liz: [As Asuka] Okay who turned the heater up? A feeling she never really felt or understood. Scott: We should be so lucky. She stops crying. Liz: And we get ready to start. Her tear-covered cheak glistened in the moonlight, as she raised her porceline-white face. Liz: And we lifted our barf bags. Shinji didn't know what was happening, Don: I’m afraid that I might. as Asuka pulled his hand over her shoulder, across the back of her neck, and draped his hand over her other shoulder, and leaned into him. Scott: Just lean into it. "You really think so?" she asked, recovering. Scott: [As Shinji] Nahh I’m just trying to get into your pants. "At times, you can be a real pain, and one hell of a show off. Kevin: And if he lives to finish that sentence this is the most out of character writing I’ve ever seen. But deep down I know you're just trying to be accepted. And as much as you anger me, I do respect you for what you do, not how you look." All: [Blink] Scott: When the hell did he become a psychatrist? "Shinji..." "What?" "I purposely made you kiss me that night" Dana: Handz up all who zaw dat coming. Everyone: [Raises a hand] Once again, Ikari is stunned. "I guess I did it because you are the only person I really want to get to know" Liz: Isn’t that speical? "Why me? You could have any guy at school and you choose me?" Katja: Poor taste. "Because, frankly, they don't pilot EVA. And because you do sets you apart from all the others." "But what about Kaji?" Kevin: And what about bob? All: [Weird look] "He's just a crush, I know I could never have him for myself, as Ritsuko keeps telling me the kinds of things he has done. Besides, for all I know he's my father (author's note: this is a crazy theory of mine)." Scott: And you know what you can do with it. Shinji felt different. No one had ever admitted liking him before. Scott: No woman anyhow. Dana and Kevin: [Pound Scott into the floor] "But, anyway, why choose me?" Don: Why ask why? "What didn't you understand, Third Child?" Dana: What the point of thiz iz zuppozed to be. "Oh, I'm sorry." "It's ok" All: Oh no it’s not! The room became cold. Scott: And so did the audience. Dana: Theze ficz alwayz leave me cold. "Shinji, it's getting cold. Hold me" Don: Can’t they just turn on the heater? Liz: We’re gonna wish they did. Shinji cautiously pulls her closer to him, trying to make sure it all wasn't a farce. Scott: It is. Without Asuka's sobs or conversation, the room fell silent, except for occasional cars passing by the condos. Silence. Deafening Silence. Eerie Silence. Scott: Annoying silence. "Ritsuko has been telling me about a way to improve the EVAs ability to stay disconnected from the ambilicle power supply, incase it's ever needed. What do you think about that?" "Do you really think I'm beautiful?" Scott: [As Shinji] Nahhh but Rei’s techincally my mom. Shinji became annoyed, Kevin: I’ve been annoyed for a while now. but let it go. She was recovering from a traumatic experience. Scott: And we’re about to have one. "Well, yeah". All: [Fall asleep] She kisses him. All: [Snore] "There, we're even". "What was that for?" "Oh...well..." Asuka looked like she was going to cry again. "I'm sorry..." "Well...I..." "CAN'T ANYONE LOVE ME?" she screams, and exploads back into tears. All: Gah! Scott: Don’t do that! He pulls her closer, and embraces her gently. He felt the soft, round firmness of her breasts on his chest. Don: Brace yourselves… He draws his face closer to hers. "It's allright. Everything will be allright." Liz: Not for us. Shinji kisses her. Asuka's eyes fill with a glow, a warm, yet strange glow. Don: What is she looking into someone’s headlights? She holds him tighter. Their eyes met, and locked. Scott: And threw away the key. Slowly, she sank to the floor, on top of him, until they were horizontal. Katja: And we were bored. She kissed him again. But this time, she didn't let up. She began to work her way down to his neck, and pulled off his shirt. Scott: [singing] Yohoho we’re going down… The Third Child felt uneasy. Were they going to have sex? Scott: You gotta ask? He had read about things like this in magazines, as well as seen it in a couple of tapes Aida had made him watch, but this was definately different. Scott: We won’t ask how. But he began to get the idea, and pulled her shirt off. He carresed her smooth, silky skin while she continued to suck at his neck. Kevin: And the fic continued to suck. Dana: Too eazy. Shinji didn't know what was happening. Scott: What do we need to draw him a picture? He was confused. One moment someone dominated by her own ego was crying and telling all, and now she was a quivering mass of hormones. Scott: Sound familiar Don? Oh well. At least Misato hadn't broken down as far...yet. Dana: Let’z not go there. The Third Child pulled up Asuka's right breast to his mouth, Scott: A clean breast of it. and sucked upon the nipple. She squeeled in delight as he continued to do so, as the nipple began to get erect. Don: And we began to get sleepy. And by the feeling in Shinji's pants, there was another soldier standing at attention. Scott: Atteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeention! Asuka notices this, and straddles his lap, taking her attention away from his neck, and held up her breast for him. Kevin: First position. Her nipples became fully erect, and he began to tease them with the tip of his tounge. Don: Should we say it? Scott: Might as well. Scott and Don: Lick it good now! Dana: You two are weird. She began to feel electric pin-pricks in her bosom. Scott: So she’s into s and m? Don: And we don’t mean Sailor Moon. He began to moan, feeling Shinji's erect member through his pants and hers. Katja: So Shinji’s moaning? Scott: I don’t know about him but we sure are. Dana: In agony. As he had lost interest in her breasts, he got a good feel of her ass before slipping he shorts off. Scott: Vermilion you’ve done it again. All: Asshole! He slowly let his finger wander down to her slit, Kevin: Let your fingers do the walking. and massaged her clitoris a little. She moaned louded, Scott: Too easy. and slipped her tongue into his mouth. Shinji's thoughts wandered a bit. Don: Sounds like he’s as bored as we are. He thought of Misato, and how she had provided a home for him. Dana: While I thought of tequila. He thought back to his uncle's family, whom never even called to ask how he was. And then he thought of his father, Commander Gendo Ikari. Scott: That’ll kill the mood. And when he thought of his father, he began to think of the First Child, Rei Ayanami. Scott: And I’m thinking about shooting the author your point please? He had a special place in his mind for the silent one. Not the place an average teenage boy would place a girl, but in a tranquil place. Under a tree on a hill on a warm spring afternoon. His thoughts became punctuated by the feeling of his pants sliding off. Don: Okay what did that have to do with anything? Asuka had succeded in getting enough of a grip on herself during Shinji's handjob, when she noticed he was falling limp. She pulled down his boxer shorts, and witnessed something she truly had never seen before. Don: And we wish we weren’t seeing now. But it wasn't as big as she was hoping for. Scott: There’s no pleasing some people. Thus, she ended tongue wrestling with him, and when she did, he shoved a finger in her. Dana: You can shove thiz fic. "What do you call tha....OH YES!" All: OH NO! She took his cock into her hand. Her hand was moist, and felt oddly pleasant. Scott: Not for us. Pleasant didn't describe her next action, Kevin: But painful did. as she ran her tongue up the neck of his member, curving around at the head. She repeated this action, twice more until he was competely erect. Scott: And we were completely horrified. She mounts his head. He soon gets the idea, and runs his tongue up her slit. Scott: I’m kinda confused here. Which head? Katja: Do you care? Scott: Nope. He parts her lips, and begans to play with her clit, licking at the base of it, as she grew wetter. Don: Get a towel. And, finally, he began to fuck her with his tongue, eating her. Scott: Dinner is served. Shinji noted how it kind of looked like a taco, and that's probably where the use of the term "eating" came from (yet another intentional pun). Dana: And not a very good one. She pulled off of his face, and began to back down to his crotch, with his member still at full attention. Scott: And we’re still not paying attention. They kissed again, as she grabbed his wrists and pressed them to the floor, and she had her legs spread just above him, parted her lips, and began to take him in. Katja: Seems like he’s in a hurry. Scott: I know I am. And after about 1.5 inches, they hit a stop. Scott: Exact measurments no less. "Oh, that" said Shinji. Scott: Let’s hope he doesn’t get any further. He sat up and kissed Asuka on the neck, and pushed her top half back gently. In a move of some agility, he slid his knees under him, putting him on both of them. He tooks his freed hands, and grabbed her thighs. He carresed them to her lower back, whence he locked his hands, and began to gently thrust at her. After a few moments, she looked at him, kind of annoyed. Don: She ain’t the only one. So, he pulled back, and took her virginity with a heavy thrust. Scott: [As Shinji] Not really worth it. "Aaaaaaagh!" she cried, shedding a tear in pain. None the less, Shinji re-adjusted his fingers, and began to bang the redhead. Scott: And we hope this fic goes boom. "Ohhhh..." she moaned, melting away. Don: That must have been messy. Shinji felt his peak coming. Scott: No stamina at all. Who knows what would happen if he came before she would? Scott: Does the term hell on earth mean anything to you? Maybe this new mellow mood would only last for the evening. So he pulled out, and began to suck inbetween. A bewildered, but horny Asuka paid no heed. Scott: And we won’t either. Shinji was merely practicing a technique he read about in a copy of the Kama Sutra he found in Misato's room while doing laundry. Liz: Well I could see that….Huh? Scott: Sucker’s gonna break the goofy meter again. He read that if he switched positions, he could go a little longer before coming. Don: Meaning that it’ll be longer before we’re going. Scott: That joke’s too old. He interest in her breasts ended, and he turned her over. Kevin: Well we already knew she flipped. Then, he pushed himself in, another technique he read of reguarding "deep penetration". All: [Look of horror] Scott: Not again….. Dana: Oh god…. Don: The horror….The horror. Once again, he began to thrust, and Asuka began to moan louder as she was feeling more and more electricity between her legs. Scott: Nahhh I better not say it. She began to thrust backwards, to get a deeper push inside of herself. All she knew was that she was enjoying it. Scott: And I enjoy whiskey so? Asuka takes control. She pulls Shinji's ankles through her parted legs, knocked him backwards, and began to run herself on his manhood. Katja: What? Scott: Don’t ask. Sure, it wasn't as long as she would have liked it to have been, but it had to do. Liz: If at first you don’t succeed lower your standards. Don: Works for me. It made squishing sounds, as her wetness combined with the pseudo thrusts were generating friction. Dana: Among other thingz. Friction... she remembered that from being in college. Shinji sat back, mortified with pleasure, Scott: Is that possible? yet upon the threshold of orgasm, as Asuka began to moan louder, and louder with each passing moment. Shinji felt it upon him. Liz: I guess he’s getting sick too. Don: This one’s not really that bad. Everyone else: [blinks] Don: I mean for a vermilion fic. "Asuka! I'm going to..." Scott: Throw up! "DON'T YOU DARE!" she interupts, as she clutches her breasts and begins to knead them both. Shinji is helpless under her power, all he can do is sit back, and wait for the end. Scott: Which should happen soon, if I’m any judge of horseflesh. Don: You don’t know what that meant either do ya Scott? Scott: Not a ****ing clue man. Katja: You get used to it. "Grab my ass, now!" commands the red haired pilot of EVA-02. Scott: And you can kiss mine. He obeys, and begins to bring her down hard upon himself, she is almost screaming in pleasure at this point, nearly out of breath, sweat running down her porceline white skin, running down off of her breast, and dripping off at the nipple. Scott: [Yawn] Just end this will ya? They continue to moan, sweat, and grit their teeth, Liz: They aren’t the only ones. until she looks like she can take no more. Scott: Too easy. She falls backward , pulling him upright. "Thrust the Progressive Knife in for the kill!" she commands. Dana: What the….? Scott: Oh come on! Kevin: Make it stop! "Put the target in the center...SWITCH!" Everyone: [Switches seats] He grabs her legs, and begins to bang her, harder and harder, until he loses it. Kevin: They lost me a long time ago. He begins to empty himself into her, until she shortly follows suit, and comes to climax. Scott: [starts to say something] All females: DON’T YOU DARE! They collapse, absolutely exhausted. Scott: And we collapse absolutely bored. He withdraws, cleans himself off with a piece of tissue paper. While getting dressed, he notices how peaceful the Second Child looks, asleep, quiet. All: [Yawn] She was finally beginning to come out of her shell. He began to worry if this would effect how they could pilot EVA. Scott: That’s kinda closing the barn door after the cows get out. That would mean the only person left to pilot EVA would be Rei, and she couldn't even fight! Dana: I’m at the point where I don’t care any more. Scott: What I wouldn’t give for an angel to show up about now. What would this night cause to happen to the rest of the world? All: WHO CARES?!?!?!?!?! He stopped caring. He had just experienced true sex for the first time, Katja: It’s kinda hard to have fake sex. Scott: I have a couple of times. I’ve dated some dull people. and he enjoyed it. Maybe it would happen again, sometime. Liz: Let’s hope not. He never had a girlfriend, and Asuka is available...hmm... He glances at her once last time. He pulls her blanket over her, as she goes to sleep. Shinji walks to his room, and goes to sleep. Scott: Okay it’s over! [Everyone starts to leave] He has a dream. Scott: There’s more? All:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! A strange one. One of him running through Tokyo 3. He was being chased by EVA-01, causing death and destruction in it's path. It catches Shinji, and picks him up. Scott: That’s a new kinda pick up. Everyone else: [Whacks Scott] He screams in terror, Dana: Zo do we. holding his arms against his face, trying not to look as he nears its opened jaws. Scott: Suppertime! But then it turns to his mother, and then, just as she is about to pass into the mouth, it looks like Rei. Don: You know he could tell us anything and we’d belive it. Then he feels warmth. Moist warmth, not anywhere specific, but it seems to be moving around him. Scott: If this is what I think it is... It kept moving, until it began to stop, down at his crotch. Liz: It is. He felt pleasure, and he got excited, blind as to the reason. Don: A pervert fanfic author could have something to do with it. His eyes open to see a beautiful red's mouth moving up and down on his exposed manhood. It was Asuka, with her usual savage look on her face. Scott: I think we all saw that coming. She sucked harder and faster until he came to a shuddering orgasm. Scott: Clean up aisle #5. She cleaned him off with her tongue, and finally released his cock. "Now Third Child!" she begins, with her usual disdain. "There are going to be a few changes around here!" she says. She stands over him, and strips her panties off. Asuka mounts Shinji's face. All: [Singing] Sit on my face and tell me that you love me... "Breakfast time! Eat up!" Scott: Let’s hope he isn’t hungry. He obeys, and begins to lick her, inside and out, rapidly, until she began to spout honey, Scott: What is she a bee now? with which she lets out a loud "Wunderbar!". She cleans the rest of the cum off of his face with her tongue, and they procede to make love again. Scott: [As Rocky] Again? Apparently, her coming out was just a one night event, as she had returned to normal. Don: If that’s what you call it. His life slipped back into normality for a couple of days, until she found him attempting to get off without her, while he was taking a shower. Scott: More things we didn’t need to know. She takes his member into her hands, and finished the job for him, drinking all of his cum. Dana: Let’z let dat one go by. After his shower, Shinji gets dressed, and finds Asuka waiting in the hall. "How about this, Third Child!" "Wha...what?" "I won't tell anyone what you do in the shower, if you promise to pleasure me whenever I want it!" He had no choice. All: Oy vey! "Yes, Asuka," he said, sounding depressed, as usual. Shinji Ikari, Age 14's life had become somewhat of a hell. Scott: We all know it was so wonderful before. Asuka required sex once in the morning, once after school, and the occasional 69 while prepping for an harmonics test. Dana: And I’m gonna require lot’s of tequila to get this fic off my mind. Scott: Crap even I feel dirty here. He enjoyed the sex, and was happy he was getting it, but he kept it to himself, and thought they were the only people that knew, until Shinji was cleaning Misato's room one day, he uncovered her observation log, and read the dates that they fornicated. Scott: Oh fornicate you! One interesting occurance Liz: Haven’t been many of those so far. in the log is as follows: "After thorough inspection of Asuka's room, I found *several* pieces and furniture lightly stained with sexual fluids. Scott: Misato’s got way too much free time. One article of Third Child's clothing was recovered, and after analysis, was revealed to have saliva and semen traces about it. Perhaps I will have to pull the two aside and have a talk about safe sex..." Scott: [As Misato] Nahh I’ll just keep watching them through the peep hole. "Hypocrite!" says Shinji, tossing the log aside. He and his "mate" arrive home from school. Asuka goes into her room and begins to read out of a Kan-ji dictionary Shinji had gotten her to put off sexual favors for one night, while he let his "Progressive Knife" heal. Scott: What about healing our souls? Katja: I didn’t think you were the spiritual type. Scott: These fics are a good reason to pray. He takes the opprotunity to take a hot shower. It felt good on his overworked joints, ever since Asuka found Misato's copy of the Kama Sutra. Shinji fantiscises of having a manage a trois with Asuka and Misato. Scott: Item number #2999 that we didn’t want to know about. It was at this point he decided he needed help. Don: I could have told him that. Sex had controlled his life for, what, 2 weeks now? He even began to have thoughts about the operators, or Ritsuko, and even some of the support crew. But for some reason, he could never think of Rei that way. It was something about her, but he could not think of her doing that. Scott: Good thing. He hears the door slam. All: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! "You can't hide, Third Child! Now let's both dance like we want win!" Scott: What is she shampoo all of the sudden? She jumps into the shower, naked, and noticed that he was erect from having his 3-Way fantasy. Scott: Please kill me... "I...I...oh, we haven't, have we?" She doesn't answer, she merely bends over, as he goes for the kill. No one in the condo would hear them screaming in pleasure. Don: Finished? ===================================================================== ================== Scott: Nope here come the author’s notes. Take your best shot gang. Dana: I need zomething heavy to throw. Well, that's it as far as this is concerned. Scott: Thank god. I might do a sequel if I feel like it. Dana: You better not. I am in the process or writing a pure fiction series, called "Dearly Departed", it's a little, sad attempt at a romantic comedy, about me, and a girl I can't bring myself to asking out. Scott: And we’re supposed to care? It is at my webpage at: http://members.xoom.com/GameDoctor ===================================================================== ================== Until next time, Only Fear The Darkness. Scott: Or reading one of your fics. -Vermillion Scott: All right we’re free! [Everyone runs out of the theater. A moment later on the bridge we see the crew all gathered at the oval table] Scott: And now it’s time for a moment for us. This for new folks is where we rate the fics. Okay Don you start. Don: Don’t make me think about that man. ½ * Kevin? Kevin: It sucked. Dana? Dana: It sucked real bad. Liz? Liz: Just how low can we go? Scott: No stars. Liz: Not low enough. Katja? Katja: Worst thing I’ve ever read. Scott? Scott: I’m gonna go out on a limb here by saying that for a vermilion fic this was really good. But of course a good vermilion fic is not quite as pleasant as falling into a sewer so I’ll have to say ½ * And by the way Kat, you shouldn’t say things like that, you haven’t been here very long. Anyhow folks that’s all we got. What do ya think Webmaster? [Cut to the Webmaster’s lair] Webmaster: Well I liked it. Push the button Larry. WBS’s Larry: Pushing the button.