Elmer Studios presents... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ WST2037 - Episode number 5. A fic written in "response to the dearth of Miho-Kiyo lemons out there." We can see why. Tenchi Muyo! Is copyright Pioneer/AIC. No Need For A Long Patrol! is copyright Keiichi Masaki. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Warning: The fanfic contained within is a lemon. It contains scenes of graphic sex. You must be 18 or older to view this file. With that out of the way... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The rec room. The four assembled psychics sat around, somewhat edgy. They had all arrived on time (for once), yet the fanfic was over ten minutes late. Even more worrying, they hadn't heard from their tormentors- er, employers yet. They were understandably uneasy. James fortunately broke the nervous silence. "You know guys, I was thinking..." He paused to let Alice insert her favorite acidic quip, but was greeted only with silence. he pressed on. "We've got fics so far from all different shows, right? And it's pretty obvious we all disliked the fics-" "How long did that take you?" Alice interrupted in a bored voice. James ignored her. "But what does everyone think of the shows they come from?" "Whaddya mean?" Mark asked, half-interested. "Look, first up we had a Sailor Moon fic. I've got to say I didn't really enjoy Sailor Moon. Yeah, it's funny and all, but it got pretty boring and repetitive after a while. What about you, Mark?" "Me?" Mark said, startled. "Yeah, I thought it was pretty neat, really. You know, neat fights and all, and it's pretty funny." "Of course," Alice butted in, "The fact that it's about huge- breasted teenage girls showing off their panties has nothing to do with it, right? I didn't like it. It was too shallow and obvious." "I suppose the themes of love, duty and destiny passed both of you by then," James needled. "It was flawed but enjoyable," Juno interjected then was suddenly silent again. "Um, okay..." James said. "What about the Vision of Escaflowne?" "Ugh, boring!" Mark declared. "I mean, the fights are lame, all the guys look like girls and all the girls look like sticks. Who can enjoy that?" "I didn't like it either," Alice said, somewhat unsettled that she agreed with Mark. "The female leads were extremely weak characters. All they did was fawn over the males and wait to be saved." "Well I thought it was good," James said, more than a touch put off. "The storyline was strong, and it was well-written which is a nice change from the usual fare." "I want wings like that," Juno interjected. The others were silent for a few seconds, before James nervously continued. "Um... What was next?" He asked. "That Slayers one," Mark said. "Uh, yeah," James responded. "Quite honestly, I hate Slayers. It's stupid, repetitive and all about breast jokes. It's not like they're even original; they use a cross-dressing gag in both the original series and Next, for crying out loud." "I reckon it's neat!" Mark said. "I mean, you've got a girl toting around serious power and whatnot, blowing away everything in her path... It's a symbol of female empowerment or some crap like that. I like the OVAs and the movies better than the series, though." "And we all know why," Alice remarked. "It's alright, funny at times and boring at others. I'd enjoy it a lot more if it wasn't for Amelia." They all looked at Juno, waiting for her response. All she did was mutter "I wish I was built like that," quietly to herself. James shrugged. "Okay... And that leaves EVA," James said. "Same as Escaflowne for me," Alice began. "The female characters are so weak. I mean, the show makes it out like all women are raving psycopaths, or something like that." "Like you should talk," Mark replied. "I thought the first half of it was really neat, but I checked out when it got really slow and they started re-using all that stock footage. It's like they forgot the whole point of the show half-way." James stared at Mark briefly, blinking in disbelief at what he'd just said. "Um... Yeah," he finally said. "EVA's different and original, but that isn't necessarily a good thing, you know. I think they just went a bit too far, which prevented it from being as enjoyable as it could have been." "I thought it was very instructional," Juno said. Once again, this brought about dead silence in the room. "I worry about that kid, I really do," Mark said. Juno's face started to darken, but fortunately any resulting explosions were prevented. The screen activated, displaying Lab 13 as usual, but oddly enough with only one occupant. "Evening, guys," Kim said cheerfully. "Hi there, Martina," James said. "Where's Zoamelgustar?" "Huh?" was the entirety of Kim's response. "Never mind," James said to himself. "Oh, the boss?" Kim finally cued in. "She's at a meeting or something. You know, important work and whatnot. So she put me in charge." "So that's why we're late, huh?" Mark said. "Were you waiting for her?" "Umm... no." Kim responded. "I was just trying to figure out how to work all the equipment." Dead silence was the only response from the room. "But I've got a fic for you today, so if you're ready to start?" "Does it matter?" Alice asked. "Um, guess not," Kim replied. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ [The scene: A small theatre-like room. Four seats sit in front of a large screen, occupying the entirety of the forwards wall. There is an exit to the right and left of the screen.] [They file in and sit, from left to right: Mark, Juno, James, Alice.] > No Need For A Long Patrol! James: No need for originality in titles, either. > Kiyone, Mihoshi, Tenchi, and the rest of the gang are the > property of Pioneer and AIC. Alice: Oh wow, someone wrote a Tenchi lemon. Now there's a startling development. > Mihoshi collapsed on her bed. Juno: A knife hilt protruding from her back. James: I guess Kiyone finally snapped. > It had been a long day and she was exhausted. Mark: [Mihoshi] All that being stupid is *so* tiring. > She barely had enough strength to start pulling off her GP uniform. Mark: Damn. > Having recently been promoted to 1D (detective first class), James: How'd that happen? Did someone systematically shoot everyone of a higher rank than Mihoshi? Juno: Just so I know, how long are you going to keep doing "Mihoshi is stupid" jokes? Alice: I don't think they'll ever wear out. > her uniform was identical to Kiyone^Òs. Mark: Actually, they only gave her a new uniform because Kiyone complained about how often Mihoshi put on her uniform by mistake. > She found herself wondering where her partner/roommate was. Alice: Over the horizon and rapidly accelerating. > The night before, she had undressed Mihoshi, spread whipped cream > all over her body, James: Is that low fat? She's on a diet, you know. > and licked it all off. [Long pause] James: I'm gonna ring the "wrong" alarms right now. Not only are both Mihoshi and Kiyone straight, but Kiyone hates Mihoshi's guts! The only way she'd sleep with Mihoshi is if sadomasochism was involved, and Mihoshi was on the receiving end! Mark: I wouldn't mind seeing that either. > The blond detective shivered at Alice: The chill. She'd forgotten she was naked. > the powerful memory. Juno: [Mihoshi] Aah! My brain hurts! [They all stare at her] Okay, so it wasn't funny. > Her blouse came off first. Mark: Actually, she tore off her bra through her blouse. Kinda forgot she was wearing it. > Under it, she had forgotten to wear a bra, James: Ah, mister fanfic? We're the ones meant to be making the "Mihoshi is stupid" jokes around here. Alice: Right, like how many men forget to put on underpants in the morning? Apart from you, Mark. > and her nipples were firm and pressing through the material. Juno: Is that the material she just took off? > Next came the leggings/stockings. Juno: There is a difference, fic. > These went up to > her mid thighs--about four inches higher than her skirt^Òs > hem-- James: Kiyone's skirt is actually shorter than that - er, not that I noticed. > and when peeled off, revealed her long, tanned legs. Mark: This could take a while. > She > then started unzipping her skirt; when it was unfastened, she > shed it. James: Detail by excruciating detail! Forget storyline, there's clothes to be removed! Juno: There's a story? Alice: I seriously doubt it. > Underneath was a pair of pink cotton bikini panties. Alice: [Bored] I'm surprised she remembered to wear those. > These were very sheer and relatively tight fitting--you could > almost see every pubic hair. Mark: Yeah, but can you pan the camera down a bit? > Finally the panties came off, and she stumbled into the bathroom. Juno: Should we tell her she forgot to take off her shoes? Alice: Actually, she was walking around barefoot all day. > The hot shower flowed into every crevice of her body, over her > high, rounded breasts. James: Whaddya know, Niagara falls. > Her hand traveled down the curve of her thighs, seeking her source. Alice: Doesn't she have anything better to do in the shower? You know, like wash herself? > Once she found it, James: Poor Mihoshi needed a map. > she slid two fingers into it, and out, and in and out.... Mark: It's the next Vengaboys hit. James: [Mihoshi] Hang on... What comes next? > She had no idea how long she^Òd been doing this Juno: But according to the recipe, she was overcooked. > by the time Kiyone stepped in. Alice: And promptly hit her for using all the hot water. > She was naked too, James: What, no more intense undressing action? > and her body was slightly more developed than Mihoshi^Òs. Juno: She took the film to a better chemist. > Their mouths met in a hungry kiss, Alice: Kiyone skipped lunch again. > and Kiyone^Òs hand slid between Mihoshi^Òs thighs. James: It's getting awfully crowded in there. > Afterwards, the two of them were cuddled together in their bed. > Their quarters aboard Yagami were very spacious, and the > furnishing were sized accordingly. James: No matter how big your room is, it always seems cluttered. > Mihoshi smiled up at her beautiful partner/roommate/lover. > Kiyone was clad only in a pair of GP-issue panties-- James: Standard issue panties? Now that I refuse to believe. Mark: Yeah, but who gets to do the uniform inspection? > light gray, bikini style--and a matching sports bra. > ^ÓYou were good, Kiyone.^Ô Mark: [Kiyone] But it's time you were replaced. I'm thinking of upgrading to Ryoko. > ^ÓThank you, Mihoshi,^Ô replied Kiyone, leaning down to suckle > on one of Mihoshi^Òs firm, strawberry-shaped nipples. James: Strawberry shaped? Juno: And strawberry flavored, too! > She was > so glad that her beloved Mihoshi always slept in the nude.... Mark: And so was Tenchi's dad, but that's another story. Alice: Which we will hopefully never have to see. > Mihoshi^Òs eyes squeezed shut as the pleasure arced up and down > her spine. ^ÓK-Ki-Kiyone....^Ô James: [Mihoshi] Hang on... Didn't I have a crush on Tenchi or something? > Kiyone was kissing her way downward, headed for the thatch of > flaxen hair just above Mihoshi^Òs gateway. Alice: Any bets on what euphemism he's going to use next? > ^ÓReady for another > round, Mihoshi?^Ô she asked, teasing her partner^Òs navel with > her tongue. Mark: Hey, there's a better place for that thing. Alice: Mark, it's called foreplay. Look it up. > ^ÓYes,^Ô Mihoshi gasped. Kiyone had shifted herself around, so > that Mihoshi^Òs head was between her thighs. Juno: Mihoshi's rolled up into a ball? James: A few less prepositions could be helpful. > Delighted at this, > Mihoshi reached up, her hands already scrabbling at Kiyone^Òs > panties. Juno: So she had a shower and got dressed, just to strip of and get all sweaty again? Mark: Kid, you wouldn't understand. > The light cotton undergarments fell to the other > girl^Òs knees, uncovering a patch of teal above her own core. Juno: Is it worth pointing out that female pubic hair is almost invariably brown? Alice: Not really. That would make sense, see. > Mihoshi tentatively inserted her tongue, gently poking Kiyone^Òs > clitoris. The green-haired girl moaned loudly. ^ÓOh, > yes....oh, Mihoshi....make me come....^Ô Alice: I still don't see why writers bother with dialogue in lemons. It's like crediting a script writer for a porno movie. > Mihoshi hungrily started lapping at Kiyone^Òs fluids, which had > merely trickled out at first, but were now flowing forth > steadily. Alice: Let's hit another lemon cliche while we're at it. Actually, make that two: Everyone laps up bodily fluids like they're going out of fashion. James: I don't think he's missed a single one so far. > Needing more, she raised her face, burying her face > in Kiyone^Òs mound. Alice: And yet another adherent to the "lesbians only lick" school of lemon writing. Juno: Oh? How else do they do it? Alice: I refuse to answer that question. > The pleasure this gave her was enhanced by > Kiyone^Òs echoing of the action on her inner thighs. James: Action? Don't pretend it's exciting, fic. Mark: Speak for yourself. > All at once both girls felt a violent wave of pleasure sweep > through them, hitting them with so much force that they both Juno: Exploded? James: some of this description belongs more in a gunfight than a lemon. > came at the same time. James: Fine, it's over. Can we go now? Mark: What's wrong with you, man? It's two hot girls going at it like rabbits, and you can't get excited? James: If it was actually two lesbians, fine and dandy. But with two straight women who hate each other, no way. Mark: Philistine. > In the afterglow (once again), the girls held each other, both > out of affection and out of wanting to avoid the dreaded ^Ówet > spot.^Ô Alice: Ah yes, the true romance of lemons. Blatantly unrealistic, until it comes to ruining the moment. > Kiyone started to kiss Mihoshi again, but noted that > tears were trickling down her lover^Òs cheeks Pulling the blond > detective closer, Mark: [Deep] Get over here! > she asked, ^ÓWhat^Òs wrong, Mihoshi?^Ô Juno: [Mihoshi] What are all those funny ^Ó characters doing there? > ^ÓNothing,^Ô she sniffled. ^ÓIt^Òs just that....^Ô Mark: It's just that... Alice: You're blatantly out of character? Mark: Oh hell yeah! > ^ÓIt^Òs just that what?^Ô pressed Kiyone quietly. > ^ÓI need to feel a....you know, a guy.^Ô Mark: Don't you have "things" for that? [Alice throws a chair at him] > She immediately > recoiled, as if afraid that now her Kiyone would shun her. > Kiyone just hugged her again. ^ÓOh, love, it^Òs okay. > It....it^Òs been a long time since I^Òve had a guy, too.^Ô Juno: [Kiyone] Hang on, are we being unrealistically infatuated or not? I want to know. > She turns Mihoshi^Òs face up to hers Alice: Mihoshi's lower than Kiyone on the "screaming mad" dial. > and smiles. ^ÓSo, what should we do about it.^Ô Mark: Go get a man! Do you really need to ask? Alice: well, some people are worried about commitment. Mark: Don't start that again. > ^ÓHow about Tenchi?^Ô James: What about Tenchi? Mark: Back with the ECW, sorry. > Kiyone thinks for a moment. ^ÓWell....he doesn^Òt seem to want > Ayeka or Ryoko....poor kid^Òs probably still a virgin....^Ô James: Not with all the lemons going on. > She grins. ^ÓActually, Mihoshi, we^Òll be doing him a favor.^Ô Alice: That's right, after you steal him away from the two women who he holds the dearest, take advantage of him, use him for your own ends and cruelly discard him, I'm sure Tenchi will thank you. > ^ÓYay!^Ô cheers Mihoshi. ^ÓSo, when can we do him, er, it, > er....^Ô Alice: Very funny. > Kiyone brushes her tongue across Mihoshi^Òs. James: It needed cleaning. Alice: Again? Aren't you two satisfied yet? Mark: I'm not. > ^ÓHush. Now, in > five days we have to do a complete circuit of the Sol system. James: Yes, that's what they've got a super-light, artificial intelligence spacecraft for: so they can lounge around on Earth all day. > He was talking last night about a science project he has to do > on the various planets of the solar system. Juno: Wouldn't he be a bit old for that? > How about we ask him if he wants our help?^Ô James: The teacher's going to love to know where he got his info from. Mark: Close examination of heavenly bodies. Alice: I should hurt you for that. > Mioshi is already excited. ^ÓThat^Òs such a good idea, > Kiyone!^Ô She leans up and kisses Kiyone again. Kiyone hugs her > tight. ^ÓNow, Mihoshi, we^Òd better get to sleep now if we want > to do this, okay?^Ô Alice: [Mihoshi] Why? It's five days away! James: [Kiyone] So I can slit your throat while you're asleep. Alice: [Mihoshi] Okay! G'night! > ^ÓOkay. G^Ònight, Kiyone!^Ô James: That was freaky. > Mihoshi snuggles close to her > partner and falls asleep. As she herself settles down for > slumber, Kiyone thinks, Just wait, Tenchi. In five days, Juno: [Kiyone] You'll be mine! All mine! Bwahahaha! Mark: Uh, kid? You okay? Juno: Sorry, just getting in some practice. Mark: Okaaay... > you^Òll learn all about heavenly bodies.... James: Har, har. > End Part 1 > This is my response to the dearth of Miho-Kiyo lemons out there. Alice: And now we know why. > Don^Òt you people know a gold mine when you see one?! James: Yeah, but I don't see one. > Anyhow, > the address is keiichi_masaki@hotmail.com. Watch for Part 2, > coming soon! Juno: At least the lack of humour is consistent. > The pun was fully intended. Alice: Now I want to kill him. Actually, I'll have him kill himself, that's always more fun. [They all stand and file out] ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The four of them sat in the rest room once more, sufficiently calmed from the fic. The screen was still blank, and all of them could guess why. They sat in silence, each unsure of how to describe what they'd just seen. James broke the uneasy silence. "About earlier, guys." "Whaddya mean?" Mark responded. "You know, what we thought of the shows?" James' explanation was met with nods all round. "So what do you guys all think of Tenchi?" "Weeelll..." Mark started. "i reckon it's lots of fun. Good, clean, harmless fun." "Save for the frequent nudity and blatant sexism, you mean?" Alice needled. "Yeah, but where would quality entertainment be without those two vital qualities?" Mark responded. "A lot better off," Alice said. "And that's why I really don't like Tenchi. The women are treated more like objects. At least it isn't El Hazard." "Hey! I like El Hazard way better!" Mark yelled back. "Let's not go there," Juno responded. James butted in to prevent an all-out war. "I thought it was good and funny, but only for a short while. The first OVA series was great, but after that it just seemed stale and repetitive. Except for Tenchi Forever, I mean." They all nodded in silent agreement. Then, one by one, James, Alice and Mark turned towards Juno, waiting for her undoubtedly odd answer. "Well," she began. They waited with baited breath for her thoughts. "I regard Washu as one of my role models." Juno had the decency to look surprised when they all pitched backwards off their chairs. She shrugged, then looked up to the roof. "Kim?" she asked, suddenly. "What is it?" Kim's somewhat panicked voice came over the intercom. "You forgot the button," Juno said. "Oh, thanks!" said Kim over the intercom, just before pushing the- [BLIP! FWOOSH!] ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Riffed by: Max Fauth (rickr@one.net.au) All MSTing characters are copyright 1999 Max Fauth Elmer Studios!: http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Realm/2628/elmer.htm All of Elmer Studios' MSTings, artwork, character profiles, AAVM conversions and the Satellite of Predacons in one spot. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > Kiyone thinks for a moment. ^ÓWell....he doesn^Òt seem to want > Ayeka or Ryoko....poor kid^Òs probably still a virgin....^Ô She > grins. ^ÓActually, Mihoshi, we^Òll be doing him a favor.^Ô