Elmer Studios presents... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ WST2037 - Episode 4. An Evangelion double feature. Fair warning: according to the authors, these fic contain "foreplay" and "EVAs." Evangelion is copyright Gainax. Tough Love is copyright Tank Cop. End of Evangelion (an alternate ending) is copyright Joyce K. Wakabayashi. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Warning: The fanfic contained within is a lemon. It contains scenes of graphic sex. You must be 18 or older to view this file. With that out of the way... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The rec room. Time for another experiment. Somewhat subdued, James, Alice and Mark filed in. None of them were in the slightest bit surprised to find Juno already there, as she was easily the most punctual of the team (she was also the most reliable of them, but none of those three would admit that fact). What did surprise them was the Gameboy occupying her full attention and the cheesy music emanating from it. Seemingly without prompting, Juno let out an uncharacteristically girlish squeal of "It's sooo cute!" Alice's curiosity got the better of her. As the others stood around, she walked over behind Juno's chair and peered at the minute screen in front of her. A Pokemon battle was in progress, with Juno's Abra facing off against a Muk. Alice looked at it for a second, then abruptly spoke. "Juno, it's a Muk. It's not cute." "But it's gotta be cute," she responded, unusually cheery. This was beginning to scare Alice. "It's a disgusting blob of filth. How can it be cute?" "Well," Juno responded, "It's in Pokemon. And the shopkeeper told me Pokemon was the cutest thing in the world, so I figure it has to be cute." Alice sighed loudly. Juno's naivety had gotten the better of her again. Best to change the subject. "So why are you playing it anyway?" "I'm just trying to fit into my age group," the diminutive one responded. Mark took this opportunity to butt in. "Kid, you're meant to be sixteen. That stuff's long behind you. You should be into soap operas and Hollywood hunks by now. Besides, it's 2047 and even *that* fad can't last this long." "Really?" Juno said, looking up at Alice who merely nodded. Juno looked at the screen again. Her Abra (she had refused to let it evolve on account of being "too cute!") could destroy the Muk with a single psychic shot, but why bother? It all seemed so pointless right now. She shrugged and threw the Gameboy over her shoulder. "About time," James added. "Here comes Team Rocket." Perfectly on cue, the large, flat screen activated once again showing the contents of Lab 13. Dr. Tokamura dominated the screen, with Kim hanging just behind her. "Good evening again, subjects," she said with almost regal bearing. "Hiya guys!" Kim waved to them. Dr. Tokamura seemed to deflate a little. "So what is it today?" Mark asked. "We have a pair of rather short Evangelion fics for you. We haven't read either of them unfortunately... A bit too much to do, I'm afraid," the doctor said. "But you said that id didn't matter if..." Kim interjected, only to be silenced by a hissed "Shut up!" from her boss. Yuki continued. "Anyway, they shouldn't be too bad. The first one even contains 'foreplay,' according to the author's notes." "He needed to point that pout?" James said. "Well it would be a nice change," Alice responded. "So if you would..." Yuki said. "Have fun, guys!" Kim added. "Kim..." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ [The scene: A small theatre-like room. Four seats sit in front of a large screen, occupying the entirety of the forwards wall. There is an exit to the right and left of the screen.] [They file in and sit, from left to right: Mark, Juno, James, Alice.] > Tough Love Mark: [Deep] It's tough, dear, but it's love. > Lemon Fanfic > by Tank Cop > 6/30/99 > This story involes oral sex, [All except Juno groan] > and forplay. Juno: And excess commas. > But I'm not a sexaholic or nothing. Alice: No, just a spotty little gimp who doesn't get any. But I'm only guessing. > Disclaimer: This is an Evagelion Lemon, but I didn't create Eva or any of its > characters. James: That would require imagination. > I just write a story with them. Thats what I do, I'm a writer! Juno: If you can call it that. > Warning: This is a Lemon. Mark: [Author] I already said it contained sex, but just to mention that again... > So you have to be 18 or older. Juno: What, is being a child illegal now? > If your not 18 and I find out your not James: Okay genius, who are you gonna do that? Ask the readers? > I'll tell your parents faster then you can say "Safe Sex!" > Note: This is my first EVA Lemon story (first EVA story period) so my story > maybe a bit strange, be kind with your comments. Mark: NEVER! > ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ > -------------------------------------------------------- > Asuka storms down the hallway to Rei's apartment. Alice: Tomorrow it looks warm on the coast, slightly cooler inland with a chance of Asuka Langley Soryu. Mark: You don't like her, do you? Alice: Let's just say I've got a few arguments with all the cast. > When she reaches her door she slams it opened! SLAM James: [Asuka] I'm slamming it, SLAM! SLAM, you hear? SLAM! > Asuka: "Rei where the HELL are you?" Asuka in a very pissed off voice. Juno: Yes, but did she do anything with- Oh, she said it. Sorry. > She just found out from talking with Shinji, James: What, Asuka? Talking civilly with Shinji? > that yesterday wonder girl told her she needed help with a problem she > was having. Mark: So... Rei told Asuka she had a problem and Asuka only found out by talking to Shinji? Did I get that right? Juno: I don't think there is a "right." > But what he didn't know was that her problem involved getting some! Alice: Yeah, I can really imagine Shinji telling Asuka that. > Some of Shinji, HER Shinji! So she decided to give her a real problem. James: After reducing Shinji to a grease spot, that is. Mark: She'll probably give her something else. Juno: Just so I know, is this going to be a Rei and Asuka lemon? Yuki: [V/O] Um... Yes. Juno: That has to be about the most improbable Evangelion lemon pairing I could think of. > Rei: "Here I am Asuka, what is it." With no emotion in her voice. Mark: Not that it needed saying. James: It could be one of the millions of perfectly normal fanfic Reis out there. Mark: I hope not. > Rei is sittinfg in her chair in the right corner of her apartment. Juno: She's usually on her bed, actually. Mark: That comes later. Alice: Bad boy. > She look at the mad red-haired girl in the eyes. James: She look at... Asuka... In the... Um... Juno: I don't understand it either. > Asuka: "Don't you is it my you Bitch! Alice: What... What does it mean? What does this rubbish mean? Mark: That the author was choosing words at random? > You took advantage of my Shinji and now your going to be punished for it!" Juno: Can I just point out that the concept of Asuka sleeping with Shinji is only slightly less ludicrous than that of Rei sleeping with Shinji? Mark: So what's the chances of Rei sleeping with Asuka? James: Getting better with each passing line. > Asuka then grabed Rei by the wrist and led her to the Mark: Turnbuckle, climbed up to the top rope, walked along it for a few seconds and elbow-dropped onto her forearm. > bed and sat her down. Alice: [Rei] Do I get a choice in this? > Rei: Looked cofused by this turn of events. "Why are you going to punish me?" James: Didn't she just say that? > Asuka: "Because you had sex with Shinji, do I have to spell it out to you! Juno: Yes, you're being punished for being grossly out of character. > Its wrong to take advantage of someone else's lover with out permission!" Mark: It's wrong to screw a fourteen year-old boy, but never mind. > Rei: "I didn't know that I needed your permission to have sex!" Rei sounds > almost arrogant. Alice: [Asuka] Don't you know, peasant? You need the great Asuka's permission to merely breathe! Mark: Leave those ones for Elmer Studios, okay? > Asuka is so mad you can almost see smoke coming out of her ears! James: [Weakly] Hahaha. > Asuka: "Your just making it worse by saying such things. Alice: Asuka, on the other hand, makes things worse *any* time she opens her mouth. > Now listen wonder > girl, I'll tell you what to do and you will do it, understand!" James: [Rei] Why? Alice: [Asuka] Well... Because! Mark: [Asuka] Now strip off your clothes. > Rei: She looks almost scared. Juno: Did she actually say that? I think it's a script, but I'm not sure... > "Yes, I will do what ever you say." James: [Rei] I am not your doll... Wait a second, I guess I am after all. > Asuka: "I'm going to punish you like any bad child should be punished. Alice: [Asuka] So go to your room, and no TV until... Wait a sec, this is your room, and you don't have a TV. Whoops. > I'm going to spank you!" Mark: Ah. This would be the foreplay bit, no doubt. Juno: Is it? James: I'll avoid an argument right now by just saying no. > Rei's eye's windened at the thought of her fanny being hit by another girl, Mark: So just like Dr. Akagi, huh? Alice: What's this thing you have about Ritsuko being gay? Mark: Hey, did I say Ritsuko or her mum? Alice: Um... Oh, good point then. > althogh it was somewhat of a turn on for her! All except Juno: O_o Alice: [Sarcastic] oh, certainly. I know plenty of young girls who get excited at the thought of having their ass whipped. Mark: Can you give me their numbers? > Asuka: Asika takes a seat on the chair that Rei was sitting when she arrived. Juno: Asuka, that's the directions. You're not meant to read out that part of the script. > "Ok Rei, now I want you to come over here." Mark: [Rei] Can't I come here? [Alice throws one of her shoes at him] > Rei gets off Mark: [Asuka] Damn, you're easy! [Alice throws her other shoe at him] Cut it out! > the bed and and stands next to Asuka. James: [Rei] Can we get this over with? I've got a photo shoot at twelve. > Asuka: "Good, now I want you to pull your panties down to your knees, then > lift the back of your skirt, and lay over my lap." Juno: Why tell Rei to take off her panties? James: Because Asuka likes gawping at naked girls, remember? Juno: Uh... No. James: That's the point. > Rei: "Ok." Rei slowly slips her panties down, to slow for Asuka's taste. Mark: This fic's going too slow for anyone's taste. > Asuka: "Hurry up Rei, the longer you stale Alice: [Asuka] The more you stink the place out. > the more you get!" James: [Rei] See if I care. > That was enogh for Rei to pick up the pace. Mark: Although not for the fic, apparently. > Final her panties were down to > her knees and she was holding the back of her skirt up with her right hand. Alice: [Mimes taking a photo; Asuka] Gainax will pay a fortune for this one! > Asuka: "Good, now lay down over my lap and prepare for your punishment." Juno: [Rei] Could you explain again why I agreed to this. James: I don't think she did. Juno: That's the point. > Rei lays her body over Asuka's lap and puts her right hand down. She then > takes hold of the chair legs with both hands. As she prepares for her > spanking. Asuka looks at Rei's butt with interest! Alice: ah, of course. Why didn't I realise this before? This guy's from the "inside every perfectly straight woman is a raging lesbian waiting to get out" school of lemon writing. Juno: Is there? Alice: *No.* > Asuka (thinking): "WOW Rei's got such a hot Ass, no wonder Shinji was so > taken by her, her whole body is sexy!" James: Not really, she just looks like a stick that's thin in the middle. > Asuka: "Are you ready Rei?" Mark: [Rei] I was born ready. > Rei: Rei responds with a tremble in her voice. "Yes." Mark: About time something happened. > SPANK, SPANK, SWAT, SPANK, SPANK, SWAT, SPANK, SPANK, SPANK, SWAT, SPANK > SPANK, SPANK, SWAT, SPANK, SPANK, SPANK, SWAT, SPANK, SPANK Mark: Remember, this fic contains "foreplay." Alice: I'm still looking for it myself. Juno: Another fine example of why not to do lemons in script format. James: Remember, if you're too inept to describe something, just use a stupid sound effect. > Rei starts to wiggle her hips, but Asuka has a good hold on her waist. Alice: With one hand even. Mark: You know, you're not one to talk about *unnatural* proportions. Alice: ... > Rei starts to cry. Rei's butt starts to turn a bright red color. Juno: [Sniffs] Is something burning in here? > Even as Asuka > continues to spank Rei. REi starts to get a diffrent feeling on the other > side of her body. Mark: She was gonna puke. > Her pussy starts dripping wet and the more Asuka spanks > Rei, the wetter she gets under there! James: Like hell. Alice: Remember, not only is Rei a lesbian, she's also a masochist. > Asuka continues to spank Rei for a good five more minutes. Juno: Wouldn't her hand be sore by now? > Rei is now crying like a baby! James: [Rei] WAAAH! GET ME OUTTA THIS FANFIC! > SPANK, SPANK, SPANK, SWAT, SPANK, SWAT, SPANK, SPANK, SWAT, SPANK, SPANK, > SPANK, SPANK, SWAT, SPANK, SPANK, SPANK, SWAT, SPANK, SPANK All except Juno: ... Juno: Did you know the word "spank" has been used thirty-five times in this fic, including all variations? Mark: You're bored, ain't ya? James: You noticed? > When final she can take no more! Alice: I know I can't take any more. > Rei (crying): "STOP ASUKA, I'M SORRY PLEASE STOP!" Mark: [Rei] I'll never sleep with Misato again! James: [Asuka] What? You slept with Misato too? Mark: [Rei] ...Whoops. > Asuka stopped in surpise, she has never seen wonder girl show as much emotion > as she did just now. Juno: Really? Just read "Neon Exodus," or "Delta invasion," or "Fate of the Children," or "Hellstorm" or.. James: That'll do. > Asuka takes a look at Rei's Ass, it was as red as Asuka's plug suit! Alice: Now look at your hand. > Asuka: "Ok Rei, I think you've learned your lession. But You must not take > advatage of Shinji again, ok." Alice: [Rei] What, like you did? Mark: [Asuka] Well that's different! > Rei: (crying): "Ok Asuka, I'm sorry." > They both huge. Mark: I'm huge! Alice: [Rita Repulsa] Make my monster grow! > But Rei wants more than a huge! James: She wants to be *large.* > She starts to move her hand down Asuka's back. Alice: [Rei] Let's ess, put the knife here... > Asuka stops her. Juno: [Asuka] That's enough, I've finished being emotional for the day. > Rei: "You know those spankings made me feel almost the same way I felt with > Shinji!" Alice: What, bored? > Asuka: "I know how you feel Rei." Mark: [Asuka] But a lot less sore. > She gets an idea. "Now Rei for your last punishment, James: [Asuka] You have to read this fanfic. > I want you to take your panties off and let me give some oral sex!" Mark: [Rei] That's punishment? I should do this more often. > Rei nodded, she was only to happy to oblige. > Asuka: "Ok, now take off your panties Juno: Didn't she just say that? James: I'd say this fic is getting redundant if it wasn't already. > and lay on the bed with your legs spread apart." Alice: [Mimes taking a photo; Asuka] Forget the last one, Gainax will kill for this one! > Rei did as she was told. Then Asuka got down on her knees and started > licking her pussy! Juno: That's quite a contortionist act... Oh, Rei's. Sorry. > Rei was so shock by this that she came almost at once! James: ah yes, Rei Ayanami. All the control of a president. > Asuka suched up what love juice she could. Rei laid her head back Alice: And examined the cracks in the ceiling. Mark: [Rei] I need to get the roof done. > as Asuka > cotinuse to pleasure Rei between her legs. Asuka was really enjoying sucking > on Rei. Alice: Hey Mark, you'd better take notes. > Sh just loved the taste of Rei's love juice. Mark: Less filling! Alice: Tastes great! Mark: Less filling! Alice: Tastes great! James: [Turns green] Urk... > She licked up and > down, then mansged to force her tongue in her pussy! Rei moaned in pain as > Asuka started to use her tongue in her pussy! Juno: I think the author needs to use the characters' names more often. You could interpret that line in some very odd ways. > Rei: "OH...GOD ASUKA...DON'T STOP, DON'T STOP!" > Asuka continues to suck Rei until... Juno: You run out of periods? > Rei: "ASUKA...I'M GOING TO CUM!" > Then Rei cums right in Asuka's mouth. Mark: [Rei] Swallow if you love me. > Asuka sucks up every last drop. After > a while Asuka was final done with Rei. Asuka lies down next to Rei in bed. James: Okay, who gets to clean that up? > Rei: "Thank you Asuka." Alice: [Asuka] No problem... Hang on a sec, don't I despise your very existence? I can't remember. > Asuka: "Your welcome, but if you ever take advantage of Shinji again, I'll > have to come back and do this again!" Mark: She makes it sound like it's a threat. > Rei looks at her and smiles with a devilish grin! James: [Rei] I just remembered what happened to you in Hellstorm. > (END) > ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ > -------------------------------------------------------- > I just think that spanking is a good use of forpay Juno: And I think proper spelling is a good use for a keyboard, but never mind. Mark: Actually, it's a good way to beat the shit out of someone. It's a bit hard to get them confused. > and should be used more often, James: Ah, sure. whatever you say. Alice: Maybe I'll demonstrate on him. > and oral sex is safe sex. Juno: Not if you swallow that much. > If I'm wrong then I'm wrong. All: You're wrong. > But its my story and I'll do what ever I want. James: [Author] You hear? I'm the god! I'm the god! BWAHAHAHA! Alice: You're good at that. James: Thanks. I've been practicing for when my sanity snaps, say somewhere around next week. > If that means forplay and oral sex then by God that's what I'll write. Juno: Regardless of whether or not anyone wants to read it, you mean. Alice: Don't you know? All fanfic authors have a divine mandate to waste bandwidth. > And remember kids use a condom when having sex. Safe sex saves lives. -Tank > Cop Mark: And the whole point of this was a public service announcement. How cute. Yuki: [V/O] And now for the supporting feature. > From: "Joyce K Wakabayashi" James: Hey, I've heard of her. She worked on the translation of the Silent Mobius graphic novels. Mark: And she still writes fanfics? You'd think professionals would know better. > Subject: [Eva][FanFic][Lime] End of Evangelion - an alternative ending James: Featuring Sublime, the cutest incarnation of death you'll ever see. > I admit I made this fanfiction mostly because I wanted to see if I could > make something even more depressing than the End of Evangelion ending. Alice: Of course, if you didn't *like* it you don't *have* to write about it. > Also, I noticed some fan fictions try to make the what happened after the > End of Evangelion happy while I think that the heart of Eva is dark. Juno: Really? However did you notice? James: that's unusually sarcastic for you. Juno: I wasn't being sarcastic. I hold this author's intelligence in severe doubt. > Don't read if you're easily grossed out. Mark: See you later, Alice. [Alice blows a raspberry at him] > End of Evangelion (an alternative ending) Juno: Oh, so it's episodes 25 and 26 of the series then. James: Not quite. > The Red Eva and the Eva-01 were lying on the beach. Alice: [EVA-02] Hey! I have a name you know! > The sea was red, the sand was white and the sky was red. Mark: [EVA-01] Ain't this cool? kicking back, no more angels, bot a care in the world... Of course, all of humanity's wiped out... Bit of a bummer that. > Half of the fallen Rei's head was in the background. Juno: [Rei] Don't mind me. > Neo-Tokyo was in shambles. James: That's nice. What about Tokyo-3? > The streets were filled with > now abandoned animals. There were no more people and never would be, > forever and ever. Juno: Some may consider that an improvement. [Pause] Mark: I'm beginning to worry about you, shorty. > The Eva-01 arose and sat on top of the prone EVA-2. Alice: [EVA-01] Whoops, sorry. Thought you were a couch. > The bindings burst from the lower region of the EVA 1. James: [EVA-01, embarrassed] Pardon. > Something came out, something that looked > like the male human reproductive organ. [They all gape at the screen, then suddenly start screaming in terror for a few seconds, before abruptly stopping.] Juno: How many inches do you reckon it's got? [They all suddenly start screaming again.] > Meanwhile, the EVA2's armor began > breaking. There was strangely a crevice between the EVA2's legs. James: Strangely nothing! Although they're inherently neuter, there are several dialogue cues to suggest that the EVAs are female. ALL of them! Mark: This is about as wrong as they come. Alice: I am going to be sick. James: I'll join you. > EVA2 awoke and tried to stand up. Strangely, the EVA-01 pushed the EVA-02 > back down. The inevitable occurred. EVA-01 roared as it straddled the > writhing EVA-02. All: O_o [Long pause] Juno: This... I do not want to see. Alice: How in hell did the author dream this up? Mark: And I thought I had problems. James: I'll never watch EVA again. > The people called humans had been Lillims; children of Lilith, puny > illegitimate creatures. Mark: I resent that remark! > Now, what would result would be the true children of Adam and Eva. Mark: Uh, that's meant to be Adam and Eve. James: I think she's trying to be funny. > they would be giants who would rule the world and the worlds beyond. Alice: Of course, they both ran out of power half way through. What a bummer. > Such had been the result of God's will. Mark: [God] Uh... whoops. I done boo-boo. > THE END James: Thank you. [They all stand and file out.] ------------------------------------------------------------------------ There was a dead silence in the rec room. Three of the reviews stood facing the blank screen, horrified looks on their faces. James, true to his earlier words, had dashed off to a restroom looking rather green. Without warning, the screen activated, once again showing the occupants of Lab 13. "So, how'd it go?" Yuki asked, uncharacteristically cheery. The three of them continued to look blankly at her. "What? What?" Mark let out a sigh, and spoke. "Okay. That first one was kinda goofy, really stupid and all, but not that bad. As for the second one..." "It was..." Alice began, then trailed off, unable to describe what she had just seen. "It was... Instructional," said Juno. The others glanced at her, and she continued with slightly more confidence. "It gave me a look into the writer's mind which, quite frankly, I didn't want. I'm trying to imagine precisely what causes someone to write something like that, but It's pretty difficult." "And I think James' absence speaks volumes," Alice added. They all nodded solemn agreement. "Hey kiddo, now you get 'round to all that swooning you've been missing out on," Mark suddenly said, addressing Juno. "In fact," Alice continued, "We've fo8und the perfect Hollywood hunk for you." Juno looked between the two of them, her face impassive, wondering where this was leading. "Yeah!" Mark took over. "I mean, he's a perfect match for you in terms of expression, charisma, the whole lot. You'll like him." "Who is it then?" Juno asked. Alice tried desperately to suppress a smile. "Keanu Reeves." Juno looked on as the other two burst out laughing. She'd never understand people, she decided. ***** Although the video feed to the rec room had been cut, Kim was still watching the subjects. "Keanu Reeves, ma'am?" She inquired, turning towards her boos. Much to her surprise, Yuki was also smiling. "I don't get it." "You wouldn't. Don't worry about it," Yuki responded. "And don't forget the button," she added. "Right ma'am," Kim replied as she reached for the but- [BLIP! FWOOSH!] ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Riffed by: Max Fauth (rickr@one.net.au) All MSTing characters are copyright 1999 Max Fauth Elmer Studios!: http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Realm/2628/elmer.htm All of Elmer Studios' MSTings, artwork, character profiles, AAVM conversions and the Satellite of Predacons in one spot. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > SPANK, SPANK, SWAT, SPANK, SPANK, SWAT, SPANK, SPANK, SPANK, SWAT, SPANK > SPANK, SPANK, SWAT, SPANK, SPANK, SPANK, SWAT, SPANK, SPANK