"The Impossible Fic", part 2 By: Tamahome no Fujo and Jojostix. (No email) MSTED By: Ketsurui (Ketsurui_Makura@hotmail.com) Disclaimer: This fic belongs to Tamahome no Fujo and JojoStix. I don't have their email address to ask their permission. I mean no harm, ladies. I'm just having a bit of fun. Fushigi Yuugi belongs to Watashi Yuu, and I make no claim to her work. MST3K belongs to Best Brains, and I make no claim to *their* work. Satana, Kyoukumei, Lucien, and Kage-Kitsune all belong to me. Please don't take them--I can't write without my muses. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The four muses sat at the kitchen table, pondering their situation. "How long do think we'll be stuck here?" Kyoukumei finally asked. "Who knows? It could be a week, or it could be after Ketsurui dies," Kage-Kitsune replied,her normally monotone voice holding a bitter edge. Satana lifted her head. "What's stopping us from escaping?" When everyone turned to look at the demoness, she continued "really, what's stopping us? This place seems to be designed like a conventional house...there's even a front door!" She pointed with a long-nailed finger. Lucien looked at the door for a long moment, then said "Try opening it, then." "I will!" Satana sashayed to the front door, her red hair swaying about her hips as she moved. Dramatically, she flung the door open, then jumped back. Nothing happened. Outside, the sky was tinged a faint pink by the setting sun, and a cool breeze blew across a lush green medow. "Cool, we can just walk right out!" As soon as the demoness set foot outside the house, she was frozen in place. Thousands of lines of blue-white electricity flowed into her body, and Satana shook violently. After a moment, the hold released, and she fell backwards. The other muses rushed to her. "Do you think she's dead?" Kyoukumei asked quietly. "I don't think we're that lucky," Kage-Kitsune replied dryly. She looked down at Satana's still-twitching form, and added "she'll probably be all right in a minute." Suddenly, Satana sat up. "Ow," the redhead said weakly. Lucien squatted next to her. "That looked painful." "Brilliant deduction!" The demoness snapped. "It's a good thing you guys didn't go; I can't die, but it probably would have killed any of you." "I'm technically not alive," Kage-Kitsune stated flatly "I'm just a shadow." "Still, that hurt like a bitch." Satana rubbed the spot on the back of her head that had hit the floor. As she did so, a disk appeared and dropped into her lap. Lucien grabbed it. "what's this?" A woman's voice answered "the second part to "The Impossible Fic". Kyoukumei stifled a groan. "I thought they didn't finish it." "Oh, they did. Now get in there, and read it." "What if we don't?" Satana demanded. "Then you'll get fried again." Meekly, Satana slunk off to the bedroom, the other three muses following after her. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- (They pile into the bedroom. Satana and Kyoukumei lay on the bed, Kage-Kitsune drags the desk chair up beside Kyou, and Lucien sits on the desk itself. Satana reaches over and puts the disk in.) >The Impossible Fic - Tamahome/Suboshi By Tamahome no Fujo (Tanzy) and >Jojostix Disclaimers: Fushigi Yuugi doesn't belong to us,it belongs to >Watase Yuu and others. KYOU: And others? So, Watase Yuu is renting out her characters now? SATANA: (Sadly) Yeah, but *we* can't afford them... >Please don't sue us, we aren't making any profit from this (and we don't >have money..or at least >we won't after Fanime ^^;) This story contains >shonen ai (boy's love) if the thought of two guys >kissing makes you >uncomfortable then show some restraint and don't read it! LUCIEN: What if it makes you uncomfortable...in a good way? KYOU: Then read on! >Kishuku sighed as he watched the town doctor scurry away throughout the >rain. KITSUNE: Wearing a sandal on his head and rain hats on his feet- SATANA: Nobody is gonna get that. >The old, skittish man hopped quickly, trying to avoid the puddles and mud. LUCIEN: He sounds like a Chinese Jumping Spider. >The rain hadn’t ceased since the twin boys’ arrival two days before. KITSUNE: And it continued for 38 days afterwards.... >The unconscious one, Koutoku, had yet to improve since he fainted on the >road. KYOU: Now he was *really* unconcious.... >Shunkaku, the other one, was almost inseperatable from his brother’s side. SATANA: They tried *everything*! Axe, sword, chainsaw, crowbar.... >Shunkaku was so intent on watching his brother that Kishuku almost needed >to force-feed him. SATANA: Shoving sausages down his throat- KYOU: pervert >As the doctor disappeared into his small house on the other side of the >village, Kishuku turned >away and latched the door shut against the >tenacious storm. LUCIEN: Not just a stubborn storm, or a cantankerous storm, but a *tenacious* storm! >The small house was silent except for the splattering of rain outside. His >usually loud siblings KITSUNE: (Darkly) Had been silenced...forever! SATANA: Ironic who the houseguests are... >had gone along with his father to visit their aunt, their last remaining >relative. The only >other people in the house were the twins; Koutoku lying >on the only bed and Shunkaku, most >likely sitting nearby, watching him. SATANA: Kishuku couldn't find him. Shunkaku had gotten into the habbit of playing hide-and-go-seek with himself, the little bastard. >Sitting down at the bare table in the middle of the room, Kishuku rested >his head against his >palm and irritably blew a blue strand of hair out of >his face. KYOU: Unfortunantly, he blew *so* hard that his wig flew off... LUCIEN: (Kishuku) CUT! Aw crap, not again! MAKEUP! >What in the name of Suzaku was he going to do? In the three visits the >doctor had paid Koutoku, >he had nearly drained all of Kishuku’s reserve >money. KYOU: With a straw! . >Shunkaku had looked terrified after the first visit when the doctor had >asked for payment for >his services. The only thing Shunkaku had to offer >was the threadbare jacket he had been >wearing. KITSUNE: (Shunkaku) Trust me, it goes *perfect* with that Donna Karen skirt you've got on. SATANA: (Kishuku) And the knockoff Gucchi shoes. BOTH: >In the strained moment afterwards, Kishuku had stepped in and offered the >money needed to pay >off the old doctor. LUCIEN: The young doctor, however, was still pissed and waiting for his money. >"But damn, without that money, how am I supposed to hire help to harvest >the field?" Kishuku >muttered out loud. SATANA: Two words, Kishuku: Slave labor. KYOU: . >"G- Gomen nasai Kishuku-san! My brother and I didn’t mean to be such an >imposition on you. If >there is anything I can do to repay your kindness to >us, just tell me." Shunkaku stammered from >where he was standing in the >doorway. LUCIEN: (Kishuku) The words "Get a job, you lousy bum" come to mind. >Kishuku belatedly realized that he had voiced his monetary concerns aloud. >The implications of >Shunkaku’s comment weren’t lost on Kishuku either. SATANA: (Kishuku) I'm gonna get some, I'm gonna get some- LUCIEN: >"Anything?" Kishuku echoed as he ran an appraising eye over the younger >boy. Though slim and >mal-nourished, KITSUNE: He'll plump when you cook him! >Shunkaku didn’t look weak. He might be able to help Kishuku in the fields >if that infernal rain >ever let up that is. KYOU: He could pull the plow, while the ox drove. SATANA: That's just plain odd. >Shunkaku flushed slightly under Kishuku’s scrutiny, but stepped forward >until he was standing >just in front of him."I said anything, I didn’t mean >it lightly either. I’ll do anything to >protect my aniki." KYOU: But what would you do for a Klondike bar? >From up close, Kishuku could easily see that the boy wasn’t all skin and >bones. There was some >muscle under his skin. SATANA: Is it just me, or can anyone else see Tamahome pinching Suboshi's arm like shoppers do with tomatos? KYOU: Trust me, it's just you. >Good, then he could probably pull his own in the field. With this nice >twist of events unfolding >before him, Kishuku stood up to go begin >preparing their dinner over the burning fire in the >hearth located in the >corner of the room. KITSUNE: The hearth in the center of the room, however, burned the house down. The end. >Suddenly, he found himself standing in very close procemitie to Shunkaku, SATANA: "Close procemitie", huh? How about "standing right in front of", or even "inches away"? >who was hesitatingly as if struggling with something on his mind. LUCIEN: You can go with this, or you can go with that. KYOU: Or you could go with us! >Looking up, the slight height difference between them, Shunkaku stared at >Kishuku evenly. KYOU: (Shunkaku) You've got a booger hanging out. It's disgusting. >"Anything...for my aniki’s sake." LUCIEN: (Kishuku) Anything? Okay, then put your hair in odangos, wear a brown schoolgirl uniform, and whine "Tamahome!" until everyone around you wants to jump off a cliff. >Leaning up and forward slightly, Shunkaku’s hands clenched handfuls of >Kishuku’s shirt and his >lips pressed firmly against Kishuku’s. KYOU: (Kishuku, muffled) Stop giving CRP! It was just a burp! SATANA: No! Continue the CPR! And when you're done- LUCIEN: Silence, demon! >Shunkaku’s lips nudged Kishuku’s more firmly as he clumsily embraced the >older boy. LUCIEN: (Shunkaku's lips) Hey man, move over! KITSUNE: If they both lose their balance and end up in an "interesting position", I'm leaving. >Kishuku had yet to move or respond in anyway, as every iota of his >attention had been dashed >away by Shunkaku’s seemingly random decision to >kiss him. SATANA: (Kishuku, dumbly) I was thinking....something about fish... >Then it clicked in his mind as coherent thought began to return. KITSUNE: (Kishuku) Aw, crap! I left the iron on! >Shunkaku wasn’t kissing him out of desire or attention, he had >misinterpreted Kishuku’s >comments. He thought Kishuku wanted sexual favors >in return for his brother’s medical treatment. SATANA: (Kishuku) Don't worry, I'd never do something that low! LUCIEN: (Shunkaku) Really? SATANA: (Kishuku) Of course not. You'll just be my personal slave for the rest of your life. LUCIEN: (Shunkaku) Um, couldn't we just have a quickie instead? >Jerking himself away from Shunkaku’s grip, Kishuku shockingly stared at the >younger boy. KYOU: Shockingly? KITSUNE: I guess he stole Suboshi's cattle prod from the first chapter. LUCIEN: (Kishuku) *Zap!* I love this thing. >His pale azure (sp?) KITSUNE: "Sp?"? KYOU: Sppppppp! OTHERS: . >eyes slightly wild and unfocused. Fine tremors were running through >Shunkaku’s body, almost in >perceptible. KYOU: Oh damnit, he's having a heart attack! MEDIC! >"What do you think you’re doing?" Kishuku asked bluntly, giving up any >attempt at elegance in >favor of a more direct approach. KITSUNE: (Kishuku) You look to be under a lot of emotional stress. I think I'll make things worse for you by being an insensitive clod. >"I-I thought." Shunkaku’s eyes were wide and dilated SATANA: (Shunkaku) you want a toke, man? >with fear. Slight tremors became shivering. "Go-gomen! I thought that you >wanted, that the way >you were looking at me. I thought" LUCIEN: (French waiter) -you wanted chicken, but sir would prefer the steak? >"You thought I wanted sex in return for paying the doctor?" Shunkaku >flushed and nodded, "I’m >sorry Shunkaku-kun, I didn’t meant to give you >the wrong idea. I was trying to figure out SATANA: The yaoi potiential of "Bastard!!". KYOU: You think? SATANA: Well, I've only seen the first tape, but you gotta wonder about a man that has an attack called "Sodom" and fights naked. >if you’d be able to help me in the fields after it stopped raining. I >wasn't trying to look like >some lecherous (Sure Tama-chan, sure. ^_^) KITSUNE: Uh huh LUCIEN: Right KYOU: Yeah, we believe you, Tama-chan. >old man. Honest." Kishuku smiled at Shunkaku and gave in to the urge to >laugh at the absurdity >of the situation. SATANA: (Kishuku) You thought I wanted to screw you in return for saving your brother's life! That's a knee-slapper, that is.... >At Kishuku’s soft laughter, Shunkaku released visibly and smiled back >weakly. KITSUNE: Released what visibly? KYOU: (Shunkaku) Oh man, I just took a wee on the floor. I hope he doesn't notice... >One last thing nagged Kishuku about Shunkaku’s response and he gave voice >to it "Shunkaku-kun, LUCIEN: (Kishuku) Does my butt look fat in these pants? KITSUNE: (Dogbert) That joke is overused. >even if I was looking at you strangely, why did you think it meant I wanted >that?" SATANA: Uh, Kishuku? You weren't just looking at him *strangely*. KITSUNE: You looked like you were planning on having him for dinner. >Frightened like a cornered animal, Shunkaku froze at Kishuku’s comment. He >didn’t reply >verbally, but the physical response said enough. KITSUNE: He farted? SATANA: . >The horrified fear and shame that shone in Shunkaku’s eyes spoke more >eloquently than words ever >could of previous mistreatments. KYOU: (Shunkaku) Oh my God, I kissed Tamahome! What am I going to tell aniki?! >With that silent confession, a red glow began to resonate within Kishuku. LUCIEN: *Ding* Muffins are ready! >To think that someone had taken advantage of a young, innocent boy. KYOU: Someone besides Satana. SATANA: >The rage became a burning heat, the only escape through the sign of the >ogre. LUCIEN: (Kishuku) Ow, hot! Ow ow, hot hot! >Struggling, Kishuku calmed down enough for the heat to vanish. Then he >returned his attention to >Shunkaku, who was regarding him again in slight >fear. KITSUNE: (Shunkaku) Uh...your hair seems to be on fire, sir... >"Does your brother know?" Kishuku asked. SATANA: (Shunkaku) Does he know?! He was holding the camera! KYOU: >Shunkaku shook his head in negetation. (sp?) KYOU: Can I do again? Please? KITSUNE: If it'll make you happy. KYOU: Sppppp! >"Are you going to tell him?" LUCIEN: (Shunkaku, ala Cid Highwind) Are you outta your @#$%^& mind? >"No! It would break aniki’s heart if I told him. Don’t worry about that, >that will never happen >again unless I choose to. SATANA: He won't get molested again unless he choses to? KYOU: Unless you like it on the floor, just cram it. >I’m no longer quite as helpless as I used to be." From the hard glint in >Shunkaku’s eyes, >Kishuku didn’t doubt for a moment that the fate of any >would be molester was already sealed. SATANA: Ahh, sealed fate! There's the cliche I was looking for! >A loud gurgling noise disrupted their dismal train of conversation as KITSUNE: Shunkaku's beloved aniki choked to death on his own blood. >Shunkaku’s stomach made its presence known. SATANA: (Shunkaku's stomach) Down here, ya putz! >Laughing quietly, Kishuku stepped around Shunkaku and headed for the fire >where dinner waited to >be fixed. LUCIEN: (Shunkaku, weakly) That looks delicious. What's for dessert? KITSUNE: *Zap!* KYOU: (Kishuku) Squirrel. >Shunkaku turned and watched as the older boy began throwing seemingly >random pieces of food into >a pot. SATANA: He graduated from C-ko's school of cooking, I see. >Mentally smacking himself again, Shunkaku cursed his own stupidity. What >the hell had he been >thinking? KYOU: We're not sure, but we believe it involved a banana and rice pudding. OTHERS: >Not much apparently, since he had grossly misinterpreted Kishuku. But why? >Kishuku wasn’t like >those old men. SATANA: He didn't have to wait for the Viagra to kick in. >Granted Shunkaku felt attracted towards him, but KYOU: Koutoku would kill Kishuku if he tried anything. >that didn’t account for what he did. His attraction to Kishuku wasn’t that >surprising either, LUCIEN: (Homer Simpson) Strong, rippling- >Kishuku was the first person besides his aniki to show any kind of kindness >towards them without >demanding something in return. KITSUNE: If you ignore that whole "you're going to work in my feild" thing. >And he wasn’t that hard on the eyes either. It was obvious that Kishuku >helped support his >family through physical labor. SATANA: >(Jojo gags in the background. KITSUNE: (Jojo) I'm on the supermodel diet! >Then she hugs her plushy to make herself feel better.) KYOU: She has her own plushie? Wow, she must be famous in Japan... >Not that any of that mattered, Shunkaku doubted that Kishuku reciprocated >(sp?) his feelings his >feelings of attraction. KITSUNE: So he locked himself in his room with a pint of Haagen Daaz and a box of Kleenix. LUCIEN: (Shunkaku) I'm almost over you.... >With that though, he turned back to thinking about the kiss earlier. SATANA: (Shunkaku) My aniki is better, and he uses more tongue. KYOU: You're begging for it, horn-girl. >Kishuku hadn’t shown any disgust as he had pulled away from Shunkaku. LUCIEN: It was indifference, merely *tinged* with disgust. >Maybe there was a small faint hope after all. No, it was better not to >speculate. "What are you >so happy about all of a sudden?" Kishuku asked >from near the fire. KYOU: (Shunkaku, childish) I caught Eevee! Yay! >"You look like the cat that got the bird. (Or should it be the dragon that >got the peacock?) KYOU: Seriyuu killed Suzaku? LUCIEN: You bastard! SATANA: A SeriyuuxSuzaku fic? Huh, that's an idea- KITSUNE: It's been done SATANA: Damn. >Shunkaku blushed brightly as he realized he’d been caught with a silly grin >plastered on his >face. KYOU: Chances are, cause I wear a silly grin, the moment you come into view... >It was nice to pretend if for only a moment that life was good and the >hearth would always be >warm. But Shunkaku knew it was only a fading >illusion, SATANA: Fading Illusion. Wasn't that the name of one of the Fushigi Yuugi episodes? LUCIEN: I think that was "Vanishing Vision". Or was it "Fading Love"...? >gone with the flicker of dawn over the horizon. KYOU: Pretty. SATANA: The fic is going poetic on us here. >But still, it would be nice while it lasted. KYOU: Nothing lasts forever, even cold November rain... KITSUNE: (Denis Leary) Stop, stop, stop the music! >FYI If we didn't make it clear in the first chapter,this is a fic that's >only purpose (yes, it >has a purpose) is to see if we could slash Tamahome >and Suboshi. LUCIEN: With a knife! KITSUNE: KYOU: That's the purpose of half the yaoi fics out there. SATANA: (Random yaoi writer) Ooh! Irvine and Seifer! Now, let's have an earthqauke so they get trapped together... >This is set in the time before either of them become seishi, SATANA: I thought they became Seishi when they were born? I could be wrong, though... >in consequence their "real" names are used: >Kishuku = Tamahome Koutoku = Amiboshi >Shunkaku = Suboshi SATANA: Kyoukumei = Harp girl KYOU: Satana = Demon girl LUCIEN: Kage-Kitsune = Crazy Fox Lady. KITSUNE: Lucien = Dead angel! . SATANA: Dead Angel = XJapan cover of a Savertiger song. KYOU: Give it up. Let's go. . ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "It's over," Kyoukumei said with great finality. "Indeed," Lucien murmured in agreement, rummaging through the fridge in search of soda. Satana crossed her legs. "At least it was yaoi," she offered helpfully. "Yaoi? It was barely shounen-ai!" Kage-Kitsune retorted, throwing a distowel at the demoness. Satana ducked the towel, then looked up at the ceiling. "Hey, are we done being punished now?" "No," nine voices answered in unison. "Damn." "If no one objects, I'm going to take a nap." Without waiting for a reply, Kage-Kitsune leaned against the wall, her eyes stairing blankly ahead. "Damn, it's creepy when she does that," Satana muttered. "I'm gonna go explore, see what's here." Wordlessly, Lucien followed her out of the room. Kyoukumei slumped down in her chair. "My head hurts," she moaned. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Ketsurui's Notes: My second MSTing! Or is it still my first, considering it's from the same fic...? In any case, I am still going strong. Thank you for reading, and I hope you like my future MSTings! All comments, questions, ect. can be sent to: Ketsurui_makura@hotmail.com Homepage: http://anrui.homestead.com/main.html Sting: Jerking himself away from Shunkaku’s grip, Kishuku shockingly stared at the younger boy.