MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 "Fiery Lovers" A Fushigi Yuugi fanfic by Soi MST'ed by Vegeta Any and all copyrighted references mentioned in this MST work are strictly the property of their original owners. All rights reserved. "Fiery Lovers" is the property of Soi, and by no means is this MST work I'm doing meant to take it. It's still hers, and by all means, she can have it. Just think of this as... "positive feedback" of her work. Warning : This story contains Lemon aspects to it, which are sexual in nature. If you don't like that, stop reading, and you'll be no more the wiser. Otherwise, enjoy! THE SATELLITE OF LOVE 14:18 hours (Pan in to see Crow T. Robot, Gypsy, and Tom Servo dressed as Maison Ikkoku characters. Gypsy is Kyoko, Tom is Godai, and Crow is Mitaka. However, Crow also has on spiked leather, Gypsy is wearing a wide sash, and Tom has on a cape.) "Bah! You will fall Dark Godai! The invasion of Metallicana is coming, so prepare yourself for doom!" yelled Crow, as he bounded around a tied up Gypsy. "Ha, ha, ha! You will never take over the country as long as >I'm< here, AbiMitaka! With my magical powers, I will crush your armies of the undead!" Crow reels back a bit, but then says, "Oh yeah?! Well, what do you think of me capturing the beautiful, yet helpless and utterly useless side character, Otonashi Yoko?!" Tom turned to the side in a gesture of defiance, "Bah, I don't care! Do what you want with her, I'll end up marrying her in about 94 episodes anyway! So do your worst, for we all know that I'll find the weakness in your trap and save her!" Crow laughed, "There is no saving her now! Do what you can, oh wimpy, caped wonder!" Tom turns back to Crow, "Oh yeah?! You dare insult my aura of spinelessness?! Very well, you've forced me to use my ultimate attack magic!" Tom begins to shake back and forth, and the set begins to flash with multi-colored light. Tom begins chanting "Mesopotamia, Babylon 5, Masters of the Universe! I call forth the power of cheesy special effects and the blood, sweat, and tears of countless animators as I prepare to unleash the magic of mystery that is better left unsolved. With this power I will fire forth my rage of being forced to take up 90 episodes when 25 would do......." Tom begins to glow as he now turns sideways again, pointing his function-less hand at Crow "TURKEY DAY!!!!" The set begins to shake and lights flash, Crow screams and falls over. Tom hovers over to Gypsy and says, "So babe? You like my awe-inspiring powers?" Gypsy suddenly reels back and slams her head into Tom, knocking him over. "You big jerk! You left me to be tortured by AbiMitaka!" Tom instantly begins whimpering, "No way sweetheart! I was just letting him feel superior so I could get off my attack!" Gypsy snorted, "Well, you know who has the REAL power around here!...Oh...hi Joel." Joel walked in and surveyed the area, "Hi guys...How goes your ever increasing longing of anime crossovers? Let's see...this one is Maison Ikkoku meets Bastard!! right?" Crow gets up and nods, "Yeah...But I still feel that I should have been Yotsu-lo-su...mysterious ice voyeur and over-all enemy of the show!" Tom got up as well, "Well, you can't have it both ways Crow...We drew straws and you lost...So what brings you down to the set Joel?" Joel smirked, "Oh nothing...Just Laurel and Hardy calling again." DEEP 13 Doctor Clayton Forrester sneered at the screen which displayed his favorite guinea pigs. "Well, enough of your shenanigans you doomed to six OVA rejects! I've prepared yet another literary travesty to rot your brains and destroy your will. But we must, of course, start off with the invention exchange...I hope you did your homework this week Joel, for I've got a doozy planned for you this time." SOL Joel nodded, "Oh, but of course, oh high teacher of evil nuttiness. My invention this week is for those anime fans that really hate long series, and yet love them at the same time. This is a syndrome that comes from series like Maison Ikkoku and Marmalade Boy. There are countless episodes in the series, but only about 10% of them actually have plot relevant themes. So what I've done is created a device that takes all those needless filler episodes, and compressed them all into a one hour block of re-cap! Observe." Joel motioned over to his desk, which had 20 tapes labeled "Marmalade Boy" on it. Each tape had wires coming from the VHS reel, and all the wires lead to a black box. The box was connected to his VCR, and as Joel hit play, all of the useless episodes flew by, each giving about 4 minutes of their contents. Smiling, Joel turned back to CamBot, "What do you think sirs?" D13 TVs Frank walked in, and noticed Joel's invention, "Oh wow...How can he do that when there was that great episode of Yuu, the Japanese exchange student, beating that American basketball player?" Dr. F shooed him away, "Well Joel, I'm afraid you've gotten soft in your old age. But now it's time for you to truly fear me! Frank...bring >IT< in...heh heh heh." Frank did as commanded, and wheeled in a cart which had several VHS tapes on it. Each one was either labeled, "Dragon Ball Z", "Legend of the Galactic Heroes", or "Giligan's Island". Dr. F cackled evilly as he bent down to examine his prize. "Well Joel, it seems I should have gone first, for you've obviously raised yourself up to my level of thinking, FOR THE MOMENT. My invention this week serves to clutter the anime world with those useless episodes! But better yet, what I've done is take those series' which are already too long, and then made them even LONGER, by adding in random clips from boring, redundant, and endless shows like Dragon Ball and Galactic Heroes! With this, the anime world will be forced to continue watching EVERY episode, for fear that they might miss a valuable part of the plot. And while everyone is glued to their TV sets, I'll roll in with my armies and conquer the world! HA HA HA!!!" SOL Crow shook his head, "We REALLY have to guard this machine then Joel. It could be the only medicine to save us from the plague of Dr. F." Joel nodded, "Don't worry, I've got the blueprints in a safe place." D13 Dr. F finally got a hold of himself, "But enough of my genius for the moment. The experiment this week is a tragic little tale simply entitled, "Fiery Lovers". It involves bad writing, bad character development, bad wrap up, BAD FOR YOU! Deal with it joyless proll! I now quote my favorite line from Cha Cha... Frank, "attack them"." Frank pulled the lever, "It's as sent as sent can be." SOL The satellite began to shake, the moment of dread was upon them. All three yelled in unison, "Ohh!! WE'VE GOT LEMON SIGN!!" Joel did the honors and hit the flashing red light. The three passed through the 6 doors to the theater, and sat down. Crow enters first, followed by Joel, who then puts Tom down next to him. >This takes place when Taski and Nuriko take Miaka to the festival to >try and cheer her up after that whole Tamahome ordeal. Joel : As opposed to the "I'm trapped in a book" ordeal. Crow : It must be because she hasn't hugged him in the last five minutes...Withdrawal can be a terrible thing Joel. >Nuriko has retired for the night, Joel : For higher pay, and less stressful hours. >leaving Taski to walk Miaka to her room. Tom : Because Miaka would end up eating the entire palace if she wasn't closely monitored. >Suddenly there is a loud crash coming from inside. Taski takes his fan >out of the holster Crow [Fan] : Ooh! I'm your biggest fan! I love you Tasuki! Please, swing me about like you do with your Tessen! Tom [Fan] : Yeah, come on Tasuki! Make me FEEL the burn! >and stands in front of Miaka. He slowly opens the door. > "Meow" > "Tama?! How'd you get in here?" Miaka says as she picks him up. All : THROUGH THE DOOR MAYBE?! Joel : I thought she was from the modern world...She HAS seen a door before right? Crow : She's been watching Nuriko punch through too many walls I guess. >"Meow" Tama says as he jumps free, Tom [Tama] : I'm free, FREE at last! >leaving a small ribbon in her hand. > "Tamahome" Miaka says as she tightly holds Tamahome's hair >ribbon. Joel : No, that's just an insensitive and uncaring piece of cloth. Tom [ribbon] : Stop squeezing so hard! I can't breathe! > "Damn cat! Now he's playing with hair ribbons!" Taski yells out All : Ahh! Tom : Why is he yelling at us? WE'RE the ones that have to sit through this! Crow : I know...He's hurting my poor little feelings. Joel : Crow...I didn't program you to have feelings. Crow : I know, but I found some. And now they're hurt! > "Tamahome!" Miaka bursts out in tears and grabs onto Taski's >shoulder. Joel : THAT'S not Tamahome EITHER! Crow : Maybe Miaka needs to invest in a good pair of glasses. > "Miaka! You know I don't know what to do in a situation like >this!" Taski uncomfortable Tom : Audience mortified. Joel : Audience fearful. Crow : Audience running! > "Tamahome!" Miaka clings onto him tighter All : THAT'S NOT TAMAHOME, GET THAT THROUGH YOUR HEAD!! > "What does he have that I don't? I'm a seishi too you know!" >Taski yells out Joel : That statement leaves A LOT to open interpretation... Crow [Dumb Tasuki] : Yeah...I'm a seishi too! Just like my fan here! Tom : If he keeps yelling all the time, Miaka's going to need the glasses, AND a Whisper 2000 as well. > "I'm sorry," Miaka pulls herself off Taski and turns around, "I'm >sorry" Crow : I don't think she's sorry enough! Tom : She's not sorry she's doing this to us either. Joel : She's not only the president of the "I'm Sorry Club", but she's also a client! > "Ahhh! I hate women! All : Then seek counseling! >If it'll make you feel any better I'll try to be Tamahome," Tom : But impressions really aren't my strong suit... > he says as he hugs her, "It's ok to cry" Crow [Angry Tasuki] : Cause if you don't, I'll really give you something to cry about! > Miaka presses her head upon his chest and hears his heart >beating. Tom [Miaka] : Yep, you're still alive! >Her hands wrap around his back. Joel : And steal his wallet. > "You ate my peach last time too!" Taski complains Tom [Miaka]: That's not all I ate! I ate EVERYONE'S peaches! Crow : A-hah! This proves that there's drug use in the anime world! Tom : No, when the author uses a completely random and meaningless phrase from out of nowhere, it means that he or she is trying to make the reader delve deeper inside themselves to discover the answer! Joel : Either that, or she couldn't think of anything else to write, and needed Tasuki to say something. Tom : That too. > "You have a big fan" Miaka says Tom & Crow : Oh! Oh! Joel : Leave it alone guys... Tom : Aww, come ON Joel! That's gotta be the biggest opening in a fan-fic I've ever seen! Joel : Okay, you win...go for it... Crow [Tasuki] : You ain't seen NOTHING yet baby! Tom [Tasuki] : That's what ALL the girls say! Joel : (Sighs)...I guess I should contribute...[Tasuki] : Heh, wait till I whip it out! > "Huh?" Taski turning red > "Your fan, can I touch it?" Miaka says as she lifts her head up. Joel : By all means guys, have at it. Crow [Tasuki] : Of COURSE you can...And you can touch my Tessen too. Tom [Tasuki] : Yep! And if you touch it just right, it gets bigger! > "Women are weird" Taski says All : You don't know the half of it...You're just a 2-D character! >as he takes it out of the holster and holds it before her. Tom [Miaka] : I said I wanted to see your fan! Crow [Tasuki] : Sorry baby, gotta whip this gun out and put it to some good use! > Miaka starts stroking it gently as their eyes connect. Joel : That sounds rather painful. I hope they remember to stick them back in their respective skulls. Tom (singing) : Blue eyes, baby's got...blue eyes. >The fan drops and the two are suddenly found in an embrace. Crow : News flash! Tasuki and Miaka discovered in the lost caves of embrace! Film at 11! Joel : Well, they're hugging. I guess Taski IS pretty good at impressions. >Taski held Miaka close, and his hand moved down under her school uniform skirt. He >reached the flimsy fabric of her cotton panties and his warm fingers >reached under and felt her moist clit. Tom : He seems to be doing a lot of reaching. Joel : For what? Plot or just her underwear? Crow : He could reach for plot for the rest of eternity, he ain't gonna get any here though. >He could see her tiny nipples poke through her blouse. Crow : Where? Where?! Tom : Argh! Down in front Tasuki! Joel : Easy there guys... >His fingers probed inside her as she gave out a slight moan. Tom [Picard] : Hmm...Fire off a level 69 probe. Crow [Chekov] : Aie-aie, mon capitan. Joel : How can someone give out a moan? > "Oh Taski! You can have my peach." Miaka moaned out Crow [Tasuki] : Who said anything about peaches? Tom [Tasuki] : No thanks, I just ate...I'll still have some fun with you though. > Taski with his free hand went under her shirt and cupped her >budding breasts. So round, so soft, ALL : SO STUPID! >Taski became excited and groped harder while Miaka begged for more. Miaka unable to control herself >starts ripping Taski's clothes off, Crow (reeling back) : Whoa! Miaka is always so aggresive in these things! Joel (nodding) : No kidding...She's the most sexually starved 16 year old in the world of anime. Tom : All I know is that Soi really needs to learn about the wonderful world of commas. >revealing his strong tight ab muscles and a very hard dick. Miaka's eyes widen as she has never seen >such an erect and hard dick before. Crow : Or ever before... >Tamahome couldn't have been more than what 6 inches? Tom (nervously) : Uhh...Is she asking us? Crow : I hope not...How the hell would we know?! Joel : Not to mention the fact that WHEN did Miaka ever see Tamahome naked either? >But Taski was so much bigger! So much bigger! All : OK! We got it! >Miaka's pussy began to get wet and hot. Her juices started dripping >out. Taski's finger still probing her pulled out and he licked it Crow : Kentucky Fried Mikos! They're finger licking good! Tom [Chekov] : Mon Capitan...You don't even want to know what the probe has found... Joel [Picard] : Nonsense Chekov! If we pump this fan-fic into the Borg collective, they'll all self-destruct! The line must be drawn HERE! >and then shoved it into her mouth. > "A miko's juices taste very good. But I don't want your peach." >Taski smiles Tom [Tasuki] : I'd rather take the Pepsi challenge. Joel : Maybe Soi works for the Dole corporation, and needs to sell more peaches to make ends meet. Crow : Torturing us is HARDLY the way to sell ANYTHING... > Miaka was dripping down her leg and needed more. Tom : Needed more what? Towels? Joel : Squeeges. >She needed to be comforted, to be touched, to be wanted. Crow : That's fine. I'll comfort her like Hannibal Lecter, touch her with a cattle prod, and want her to simply GO AWAY! Tom : You summed it up perfectly for us buddy. >Taski unbuttoned her shirt and saw her soft modest breasts. He pulled them out of their cups and >started sucking on them. Joel : Peach cups? Tom : A-hah! This IS a Dole commercial! > "Oh Taski! Mmmmmmmmm!" Miaka moaned as she pulled his head in for >more. Joel : More what?! More M's? Crow : Maybe she wanted some M AND M's? > Taski then bit her erect tit and Miaka jerked back slightly. >Taski stopped and looked at what he had done. He had made 2 fang marks >on her nipple. Crow : He's a lean, mean, biting machine! Tom [Dracula] : I vant to suck your peaches! Joel : We have GOT to get off this peach kick... >He started rubbing it in a circular motion. > "Did that hurt? Let me make it up to you" Taski picks up Miaka >and places her on the bed. Tom : That didn't hurt her nearly as bad as this is hurting us. Crow : Mister, you ain't got enough peaches to make it up to us! Joel : Okay you two...enough with the peaches... >He removes her skirt and panties, revealing her small brown bush. Crow : You know what they say about two in the bush... Joel : Stop that right there you. >He opens her legs, Crow : CREEEEAAAAK!! Joel : I'll not warn you again. >exposing her pink virgin cunt that was oozing out more cum. Crow : It's the return of the Oozing Peach Cum! A new horror flick by the master of suspense! Joel : That's it! (Joel rips Crow's arm off and throws it behind him.) Crow : Agh! Okay okay! >Taski buried his head between her legs and began tasting what Miaka had to offer. Tom [Tasuki] : Hmm...Nope...No Sir, I don't it...I think I'll go with Sample "A". Crow [Announcer] : You...chose...COKE! Joel : Take the Pepsi/Dole Corporation Challenge today! >His tongue entered her, her hips trusted up down into him, Joel [Miaka] : I trusted you to protect me! Tom [Tasuki] : Your trust in me has its ups and downs baby! Crow : This sounds more like a karate lesson to me [Mr. Miagi] Tasuki-san! Up! Down! Up! Down! Look eye! Always look eye! >forcing his tongue in further. She could barely contain herself. Joel : Believe us, we can barely contain ourselves too. Crow : Yeah, my one arm is kinda leaning towards that good ol' delete button... >Her pussy lips tightened around Taski's head, refusing to let him go. Tom : My GOD!! What is she DOING to the poor Boy?! Crow : I don't even think Mido Miko from La Blue Girl could match something like that! > "TASKI! TASKI! UH! UH! TASKI!" Miaka cried out Crow [Tasuki] : What?! I'm right here! Tom : No way Crow...Considering what's happening to him he'd sound more like this [Tasuki] Ghuf?! Uh vihh heehh! > Taski's head could barely move around. He was there for a good 20 >minutes. Joel : Holy moly! I GOTTA time that! Crow : He must be Jacque CouTasuki! What incredible lung power! Tom : I've heard of hentai anime babes having no spacial limitations down there, but THIS is ridiculous! >Taski grasping for air, broke free and lay beside her, with >her cum all over his face. Joel : Uhh...you got something on your face there...Let me get that for you. (Joel stands up to the fic and begins to dab at Tasuki's face with a napkin.) Crow [restroom attendant] : Hanky Sir...? >Miaka mounts him, forcing his hard rod into her wet little pussy. Tom [Miaka] : Oh boy! Tasuki-back riding! Crow : Yeaa-haaaa!! Ride em, Miko-girl! >Taski grabs her, and rolls her over onto her back, thrusting into her >even more. His long dick was rubbing against her g-spot and Miaka >screamed out for more. Crow [announcer] : Attention K-Mart shoppers! There's a blue light special in the G-spot department! Tom : Gee...You'd think the entire palace population within a 10 mile radius would come running after hearing the sacred Miko screaming so much. Joel : Hmm...Perhaps ancient Chinese walls had really good sound-proofing. >She dug her nails into his back, as he bucked again inside her. Each thrust >was harder and so was the sound of their loins banging together. Joel : I think the sentences in this are getting harder to read with each passing period. Tom : And so is the grammar. Crow : Not to mention keeping interest in what's going on. >The feeling of his hard dick inside her was pure ecstacy for her, >so much that she drew blood on his back, a minor scratch. All : TIS BUT A SCRATCH!! Tom : I've had worse... Crow : Just a flesh wound... > "OH TASKI! HARDER! FUCK ME HARDER! UH!" Miaka cried out All : Ahh! Tom : We're being yelled at again Joel. Joel : That's okay...Dr. F will be waiting for us when this is all over. Crow : True true. > Taski and Miaka's bodies became one, her legs tightly wrapped >around his waist, and his sweat rubbing up against hers. Joel : Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't they start doing it a few lines ago? Tom : Nope, you're right Joel...the continuity generator just burned out again. Joel [Kirk] : Dammit Servo! I need...that...generator...back on line! Tom [Scotty] : I cannah give it to ya captain, I'll need at least 2 hours! Joel [Kirk] : You have...10 minutes! Tom [Scotty] : Oh...ok. >She could feel him getting harder and pulsating inside her. Crow : Bzzzzz Joel : Watch it you, or you'll lose the other arm. > "TASKI! COME INSIDE ME! CUM!" Miaka could barely hold onto him >anymore. Crow : That's okay, I can barely hold onto my lunch. Tom : You'd feel better if you didn't always snarf your ram chips down. Joel : What's with all these caps? Maybe Soi's keyboard is breaking down. Tom : Wouldn't THAT be a damn shame? > Taski pounded her harder and harder, her cum lubricated his dick. >He could feel her vagina lips tighten around him as he pumped harder >and harder into her. Tom : Uhh...Are you sure that a woman wrote this? Crow : No, but that's what the author's name is. Joel : Hmm... > "UH! SO HARD! SO LONG! UH! TASKI! OH! OH!" cried Miaka Joel : I think she means that this fic is so hard to read. Tom : Yeah, and that's it's way too damn long. Crow : The length of the fic normally wouldn't be a problem. But if we're reading it, there must be a reason for that. Joel : Not to mention that Soi really needs that caps lock button of hers fixed. > "LEKKA SHIEN!" Taski finally reached his climax and his cum >exploded all inside her. All : BOOM SHAKA LAKA! >With a flood of his cum inside her, he collapsed onto her body. Tom [Robby] : Danger! Danger! Crow : My god! The dam can't take it! It's gonna be a flood! She's gonna BLOW!!! >Miaka exhausted released Taski from her hold. All : He lives! >The two lay there sweaty, hot, and tired. When the sweat cooled, the >two were fast asleep. (All three begin to make snoring noises.) > The next morning Miaka awoke, alone. Tom : In a desolate void, free from horrified audience members. Joel : Waking up...the RIGHT way to start YOUR day. >She lay there naked, but no one was next to her. Crow : Yeah, everyone already ran away. Tom : Wish we could've joined them. >The sheets smelled like sweat and cum. Joel : Back to the drycleaners we go... >And the only thing next to her was an earring, Taski's earring. Tom : Well DUH! Who's else could it be? >She picked it up and held it close to her. >She got up and looked outside the window. Taski and Chichiri were there talking. Tom [Tasuki] : How do I get out of this fanfic?! Crow [Chichiri] : Uhh...you don't no da. We're trapped and are at the merciless will of Soi no da. Tom [Tasuki] : No, Trapped was Shinji's!... Joel : At least she knows what a window is. > "What are you doing Taski?" inquired Chichiri Tom : Killing the series, you know how it goes. > "Lekka Shien!" Taski said as he used his fan Crow : Which fan is he using here? Tom : Yeah, after he used his fan on Miaka, I don't think I'd want to be close to him swinging it around. > "I wanted a roasted apple Chichiri!" Taski picked up the burned >apple and bit into it. > "Why an apple?" Chichiri asked All : WHY NOT?! Tom : You got something against apples dickweed?! > "I already ate a cherry" Taski grins (All 3 begin chuckling sarcastically) All : NO! Joel : Audience rolfs. Tom : Audience considers suicide. Crow : Audience is outta here. Joel picks up Tom, and he and Crow bolt out of the theater. D13 As always, Dr. F waited with hope to see if his little play things were thouroughly blasted out of their wits. Sadly, he saw that they were fine as always. As he watched Joel and the bots come back into the room, he asked hopefully, "Well? Come on, aren't you at least a little crushed?" SOL Joel looked as his mad tormentor and shook his head, "No way sir...That fic was too silly to have even made a dent." Crow nodded as best he could, "Yeah...And when are these writers gonna realize that sex isn't so......WET?!" Tom also piped in, "And another thing! The Dole corporation is going to hear from my lawyers about this! How dare they send their peach selling zombies at us?" Joel snickered at Tom, "Tom, we're in the middle of cold, empty space. How are you going to get lawyers to do your bidding?" Tom nodded, "Oh yeah...I suppose if I COULD get a lawyer, I'd have already sued Dr. F!" D13 Dr. F grumbled to himself, and then proceeded to poke Frank, "Hey...wake up mongoloid boy...It's time to push the button." Frank blinked and nodded, "You know...It's times like this, when I can sit near a warm, cheery fire, and read fan fics, that I know...life is good." Dr. F growled, "Push the button Frank." Frank continued, "You know...It's times like this when I read bad fan fics, I look within and say, 'Hey, I'm pretty cool. I'm an okay guy.'" Dr. F looked exhasperated, "Push the button Frank!" Frank was still going, "You know..." Dr. F cut him off by reaching past him, and with a glare in Frank's direction, he slapped the button himself. The End Okay...MST number 2 done! Any comments or suggestions? Send em to Vegeta@AMX.net or Vegeta4@yahoo.com All E-mails welcome, except for viruses, and junk mail, and...well, you get the idea. > Taski with his free hand went under her shirt and cupped her budding breasts. So round, so soft, Mystery Science Theater 3000 and its related characters and situations are trademarks of and (c) 1994 by Best Brains, Inc. All rights reserved. Keep circulating the FanFics...