A MiSTing of ‘Lustful Wishes’ by: Chuck Williamson (BigFire_hq@hotmail.com Notes: First off, I would like to state that this is my first MiSTing. A big thanks is rightfully earned by all of the wonderful authors who’s razor-sharp wit and cutting edge humor brought some of the most hilarious MiSTings about. The works of Kuanna and Megane 6.7 especially inspired me... I simply adore their brand of humor! At any rate, I would love any sort of positive or negative critical response. I tried; honestly, but I doubt I will ever be as good as the aforementioned authors. WARNING: Contains all of the usual requirements for the genre of lemon. Those who are underage may wish to seek a parent to hold their hand and watch over them as they read this and those with sick stomachs should find a bucket or something. Did I also mention that not reading this at all was another option? SoL The scene opens with Mike and Servo sitting on the main deck, lounging on lawn chairs. Each is reading a book with a look of intrigue piercing their faces. Well... I guess Tom technically -can't- change facial expressions, but you get the picture, right? Anywho, Mike finally loses his concentration and turns his head toward the open-eyed Servo. MIKE: So, Servo... what exactly are you reading? TOM: Oh, nothing you would be interested in, Mike. It's a little too deep for a kid your age. MIKE: Yeah, well... waitaminute! Is this just another excuse to sneak hentai material onboard? TOM: (nervous) Um... no Mike. You see, those La Blue Girl videos were Crow's and I was just watching over them for the night... MIKE: (interrupts) Speaking of which, where is Crow? I haven't seen him since... Mike halts in mid-sentence as Crow enters the room. He now wears a simple blue dress and an unwieldy brown wig. His eyes are wide, the pupils an odd gold color. TOM: (laughing) Hey, Crow. I guess all those Zoicite references were true, huh? MIKE: Tom! This is not the time for this. CROW: (creaky voice) Will you two become one of Crow's 30,000 friends? TOM: Wha--?!? The hell are you talking about? MIKE: Wait... I think I know what's wrong. CROW: Become one of my 30,000 friends. All in my quest for humanity. Crow wants to become human, so he can be accepted by the bulk of society... MIKE: Right. This is all a product of Crow's recent obsession with ‘Key: The Metal Idol’. From constantly brainwashing himself with the psychological nonsense of this show, Crow's now become estranged from himself and now thinks he's the main character, Key. Now he's trying to collect 30,000 people to become his friends, in hopes that it will bring him humanity. TOM: Either that, or he's trying out to be a Las Vegas show-girl. MIKE: Servo! This is hardly the time for wise cracks. CROW: You! You will become one of Crow’s 30,000 friends! Crow then lunges himself toward Servo and the two fall to the floor with a loud smash. As the two continue to wrestle, the light signaling the call of Pearl Forrester flashes. With a quick look over his shoulder to survey the ongoing grudge, Mike taps on the button. MIKE: 'Evening ma' am... and you two guys in the back. ----- WMoD Bobo and Observer, who were previously bickering over some childish issue, come to a halt and stare indignantly at Mike. BOBO: Did you just refer to the great Professor Bobo as the ‘other guy’? Ohh ohh! I’m hurt, Nelson... really. OBSERVER: I second Bobo’s notion, which is not far from the truth. And considering the source, that’s a vast compliment. Hardly worthy of this wretched baboon... BOBO: Who you callin’ a baboon, brain-guy?!? The two commence with the arguing once more, the mingling of voices becoming quite incoherent. Pearl’s face is that utter impatience and rage. She quickly turns her head to the fight behind her and then into Nelson’s pale blue eyes. PEARL: And I thought Clayton was a handful... these two make having kids look like a picnic. ------ SoL MIKE: Well, that’s very good, ma’ am. With that said, Crow is tossed across Mike’s face, torn fragments of his blue garments lightly tumbling to the ground. Tom then leaps unto the fallen Crow and the beating continues. MIKE: (sighs) I share your pain, Ms. Forrester. ------ WMoD PEARL: Yeah, but just you wait. When I get my hands on you, you’ll be feeling such sweet, agonizing pain. The heaven’s will burn with the color of your blood, Nelson! By my name I swear it! ------ SoL MIKE: Um.... okay. ------ WMoD PEARL: At any rate, your fanfic this week is ‘Lustful Wishes’, by the revered prodigal lemon author, Shinji, the 10 O’clock Assassin. It’s a fascinating tale of lust and passion in the ‘Fushigi Yuugi’ world... it makes ‘Crash’ look like a walk in the park. Have a nice day! ------ SoL The fighting has ceased and Tom and Crow, looking their worst for wear, stagger toward Mike. Crow’s wig has been torn off and only fragments of his dress remain. MIKE: Done? TOM: Yeah, I think I knocked some sense into him... CROW: You make have won -this- time, but mark my words! I -will- become human! MIKE: Yeah, sure, sure. Suddenly, the violent red lights and sirens go off. MIKE: UH-OH! We have LEMON SIGN!! Doors.... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... Mike and the ‘bots take their usual seats in the theater. MIKE: Why are you so intent on becoming human, Crow? CROW: I don’t know really... but it seems nice. MIKE: Ah.... >Fushigi yuugi Lemon: Lustful Wishes TOM: Somehow, Fushigi Yuugi and the title ‘Lustful Wishes’ don’t seem to go too well together. MIKE: Actually, considering how many times someone attempted to rape Miaka.... CROW: Yeah, even Tomo abandoned his homosexuality just to get it on with that Usagi-clone... TOM: And then the psycho yo-yo boy killed -him- off just to get a piece. >* This story takes place when Nakago had control over Tamahome. TOM: So basically, this can happen -anywhere-, -anytime-, in the Fushigi Yuugi universe? > " Tamahome." MIKE: (Miaka) Tama-ho-MEEEE! CROW and TOM: (shudder) > " Yes, Nakago." TOM: (Nakago) Polish my boots... with your tongue! MIKE: (ditto) We find that your outrageous fan following is without merit and therefore will have to deduct from your 150 shrines. CROW: (ditto) Since Ashitare’s gone for the night, mind if I test these new whips out on you? > " Tonight, you will go to Yui-sama's room and make love to her." CROW: (Tamahome) Ewww! Girl’s are icky! TOM: I always suspected that there was something going on between him and Nuriko. > " As you wish, my master," Tamahome replied. TOM: Ahh... such strong motivation. Such character development. I’m touched, really. CROW: (Tamahome) Damn! But I had already made plans with Tomo! MIKE: Crow... CROW: Bite me, Nelson. I haven’t even reached my worst. TOM and MIKE: (shudder) > At night, Tamahome walked into Yui's room. CROW: ...and tried on some of her underwear. TOM: Agh! Thanks for the mental image, Crow! CROW: Anytime, Servo. > " Tamahome, I want you to know that I love you more than Miaka. CROW: Awww... so she loves Tamahome more than Miaka? I’m sure old meat-ball head will be crushed. TOM: Usagi? CROW: Nonono, I meant Miaka. You know... the BUNS! TOM: Oh, yes, yes. But I still believe that Miaka and Yui were made for each other... despite what this fanfic claims. MIKE: After reading some of Chuck Williamson’s fanfiction, I wouldn’t be surprised. CROW: Who? MIKE: Nevermind... >I love >you the most. Please make love to me!" Yui said. TOM: (Tamahome, whining) Awwww.... do I have to? CROW: (ditto) Okay, but it’ll cost you. Love-making doesn’t come cheap nowadays, y ‘know. > " Yui-sama, you are the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. MIKE: (Tamahome) Well, next to Nuriko... >Of course >I'll make love to you. I'll make love to you foreever!" Tamahome replies. ALL: (singing) I’ll make love to you.... like you want me to... (stops) CROW: So, is Tamahome actually going to make love to Yui forever? Could someone actually last that long? TOM: Conner MacLeod, perhaps? MIKE: Crow, Tom, you’re both about to cross -the line-. > Tamahome undresses himself CROW: ...and blushed as Yui chortled at the sight of his frilly lingerie. TOM: Crow, I think I agree with Mike on this one. CROW: Et tu, Brute? >and leads Yui to the bed. MIKE: Where they had a pointless night of sex. The End. (Bots start wandering away from theater) MIKE: Hey, come back you two! Don’t take me so seriously! TOM and CROW: (both moan and return) > Tamahome reached out and grabbed Yui's MIKE: Handkerchief? CROW: Turkey sandwich? TOM: Collection of Spice Girls singles? (ALL shudder) >arm and gave a jerk. MIKE: Steve Martin? >She fell >against him, as his other arm slipped inside her robe. MIKE: Ah, that Tamahome... always knows how to set the mood! TOM: (sniggering) He’s a regular Casanova, neh? >They lay there for a >minute with her bare tit pressed against his chest CROW: She only has ONE?! MIKE: (shrugs) Maybe only one was pressing against him. CROW: (grumbles) That would be kinda hard to do... TOM: Hey! I’m the official nit-picker around here! >and his hand pressing softly >in the small of her bare back, holding her against him. Tamahome's hand >finally >come to rest on a bare cheek of Yui's ass. CROW: Oh, Shinji. A true romantic. TOM: Yeah, he has such a poetic way of describing the passion of sexual desire. MIKE: Eat you heart out, Anne Rice. >He softly caressed the soft MIKE: Tissue! Yes, Bounty Fresh toilet paper; it’ll bring a smile to every bottom. TOM: (pause) Ummm.... where did that come from, Nelson? MIKE: (shrugs) >, warm >flesh of her ass then carefully let his hand stray lower over the firm >flesh of >her thigh and on to the warmth of her inner thigh. TOM: It makes one wonder if she keeps a heater up in there. CROW: I don’t know about a heater, but... MIKE: Crow... >He brought his hand up until >it was resting against the hot wetness of her lower lips. TOM: Yes, I think we’ve established the fact that’s fairly warm in that particular area... >Yui quietly moaned as CROW: ...Tamahome strangled and killed her, the end. MIKE: A bit of a dark ending, eh, Crow? TOM: Mike... -any- ending would be satisfactory... >his finger sought the source of the moisture covering the hair covered slit >between her legs. CROW: I’m just -dying- to make a ‘Crying Game’ reference here... MIKE: Crow... CROW: But I didn’t. > Yui raised up on one elbow and quietly looked into Tamahome's eyes, >then slowly lowered her head and covered his lips with hers. TOM: She pressed her -eyes- against his -lips-? CROW: How icky! >Her tongue pushed >between his lips, TOM: BUT HIS LIPS ARE OVER HER EYES!!! MIKE: Uh-oh... I haven’t seen Servo get this upset since the last Oscar fic we had to sit through. CROW: Oh, don’t worry. As long as the bestiality is non-existent, he should be a-okay. TOM: (gasping) That’s... not... humanly... possible... >tasting the warmth of his own probing tongue. MIKE: (Yui) Taste’s like chicken. >Soon the >movements of her tongue matched the rhythm of Tamahome's finger ALL: (singing) This is the rhythm of the finger! (stops) CROW: Kinda low, but what the hell? >as it explored >the depths of her slippery vagina. CROW: (sniggers) Yui should have a sign on her back that reads ‘slippery when wet’ on her back. MIKE: Crow... I’m warning you. CROW: Bite me. >After exploring each other for a few >minutes, TOM: Spare us none of the graphic detail, Shinji. CROW: So what? Was Tamahome sent to have an archeological dig in Yui’s... MIKE: Don’t go there. CROW: ...inner ear. >Yui sat up and twisting around on the bed straddled Tamahome's naked >body. He could feel the hot wetness TOM: Yes, you have made it -perfectly clear- that her genital area is quite -hot- and -moist-! MIKE: Um... Tom. Just let it slide. TOM: (muttering) >of her pussy MIKE: Tamaneko’s in this fic? CROW: (shudders) So it’s true! Oscar is using Shinji as a pen-name! TOM: But isn’t he dead? MIKE: True evil is not vanquished so easily. >pressing tightly against his >belly CROW: ...which had grown quite large to the heavy drinking he had been doing in Kutou. MIKE: Who can blame him? With both a squeaky-voiced bimbo and a psychotic Sailor Uranus clone fawning over him. TOM: It could be worse. Eiken could be fawning over him. CROW and MIKE: (shudder) >as she leaned forward, placing her hands on his shoulders. > Yui set up and untied the >belt of her robe. TOM: Wha--!? What did she set up? CROW: And while taking off her robe, one can only wonder... MIKE: (sighs) >She dropped the robe from her shoulders as Tamahome just lay >there CROW: ...sleeping, dreaming of the passionate love he could have been making with Tomo if not for Nakago’s -stupid- orders. TOM: Why, Crow. I didn’t know you were such a yaoi fan. CROW: Tom... we’ve been friends for quite awhile and we’ve called each other a lot of names. But I swear, if you -dare- call me a yaoi fan once more, I’ll make you wish that you were never engineered. TOM: Alright, alright... sheesh! >starring MIKE: Brad Pitt, as Tamahome! TOM: Ellen Degeneras, as Yui Hongo! CROW: Isaac Hanson, as Nakago! MIKE: Arnold Scharzenegger, as Mitsukake! TOM: Leonardo DiCaprio as Amiboshi/Suboshi! CROW: Muckuly Culkin, as Miboshi! >at those luscious orbs headed for his waiting mouth. MIKE: Orbs? Something tells me that wouldn’t be too appetizing. >The nipples >were large and erect with a dark brownish aureole surrounding them. TOM: Hey, isn’t that one of Nakago’s powers? MIKE: I believe your thinking of -aura-. TOM: Ah... CROW: Ugh... now I have a mental image of Nakago with breasts! >The >brownish part was crinkled, TOM: Just like Clint Eastwood’s skin! >kind of like goose bumps MIKE: (gasp) R.L. Stine has contaminated this fic! CROW: The horror... the horror... >but the nipple was >hard and erect, TOM: Once again, Shinji must blatantly restate the conditions of certain parts of the female anatomy. CROW: Yeah. You don’t see him reminding us how much Yui’s toe jam stinks. TOM: Yui has toe-jam? Agh! CROW: Well, considering those shoes she’s forced to wear... >begging for his mouth to tickle it. CROW: (Tamahome) Goochie goochie goo! MIKE: (Tickle-me Elmo) Ha-ha-ha! That tickles! >Tamahome pulled Yui toward >him and obliged, sucking one lovely nipple into his waiting mouth, letting >his tongue CROW: ...flickering and lickering? MIKE: (sighs) Do you ever get tired of the ‘Games’ references? CROW: In a word... no. >lash the hard little nubbin TOM: Nubbin? That’s a new one on me. MIKE: No, you see. Shinji is such a revered author that he’s allowed a pretty loose artistic license. TOM: Oh! Then that explains the whole mouth in the eye thing! It all makes sense now. CROW: Feel better now? TOM: No. >until she was gasping with delight. > "Oh my god baby," CROW: So Tamahome’s a ‘god-baby’ now? Such interesting pet names... TOM: Well, considering his vast amount of followers and fans... MIKE: It’s all part of his artistic license. Encourage it; let it flow. TOM: (grumbling) I would like for -something- of his to flow, but it has nothing to do with art. >Yui moaned, "suck the other one too. You're >driving me crazy." ALL: (singing) They’re coming to take me away, ha-ha! They’re coming to take me away. TOM: Ten bucks says we’ll have Yui acting totally out of character before this fic is over. CROW: You’re on! >She slowly raised her body from Tamahome's and reaching down >between them, guided his prick to the hot, juicy hole awaiting it. TOM: Yes, once again, Shinji must remind us how moist and scorching that fiery inferno of a ‘hole’ that awaits Tamahome actually is. Agh! MIKE: It’s all a part of his... TOM: Screw his artistic license! >He felt >velvety lips encompass the head of his cock, the hot moist tunnel TOM: (opens his mouth) MIKE: Tom, we already know what you’re about to say, so don’t even bother. TOM: (mumbles to himself) >engulfed his >throbbing shaft CROW: (singing) Who is the man that would risk his life for his brother man? MIKE and TOM: The partially engulfed Shaft! CROW: Damn right... >deep into her very being. Sensations that Tamahome never felt >coursed through him, CROW: Well, except for the time when he snuck into Nuriko’s tent. TOM: (laughs) Now I understand. Is this why you keep all of your Minami Ozaki manga hidden in your pillow case? CROW: What?!? That’s a lie! TOM: Is not! I also found a first edition copy of Clive Barker’s ‘Sacrement’! CROW: That’s it! (Crow tackles Tom and proceeds to beat the living daylights out of him) >wave after wave MIKE: (Roll Cran) PSYCHIC WAVE! >of the most exquisite feelings swept over >him. As Yui's hips began to MIKE: (Elvis) Shake, rattle, and roll! >move, sliding Tamahome's rigid member in and out of >her quivering, gyrating body, an animal lust possessed Tamahome and he >started >to meet her movements with thrusts of his own. (Crow and Tom return to their seats, each spitting out loose nuts and bolts) MIKE: So have you settled your little problem? CROW: Um... yeah. As long as Servo here admits that I am -not- a yaoi fanatic! TOM: Alright, alright. You’re not. Sheesh! Can’t a guy take a joke? But you can’t say you don’t make me wonder at times, with such comments. And coming decked out in that funky dress of yours! CROW: (snarls) What?!? MIKE: Tom... Crow... drop it. For all of our sakes. CROW and TOM: (mumbles) >Tamahome pounded his cock into >Yui. TOM: So what did we miss? MIKE: Oh... um... Tamahome and Yui are continuing to have sex. CROW: Oh... nothing important then. (shrugs) >Time after time, penetrating the liquid heat of her loins. TOM: What does that make? Six? Seven? Eight times? MIKE: To tell you the truth, I lost count. >The soft, >slurpy MIKE: A slurpy? TOM: Yeah! I could really go for one of those right now! >slapping of their bellies became thunderous clapping as they raced to the >fulfilment of orgasm. MIKE: Ummm... I think I changed my mind. CROW: Not a word, Servo! TOM: From me? Perish the thought! >Tamahome could hear the soft, gasping of Yui's voice as >she chanted trance-like in my ear. (All stare at the screen with bulging eyes) TOM: Why is Yui whispering the author’s ear? CROW: I don’t know... did he happen to walk in while we were fighting. MIKE: No, I don’t recall that happening. Maybe he was hiding under the mattress. TOM: Or perhaps the bowels of Yui’s scalding... MIKE: Tom... TOM: ...closet. MIKE: At any rate, ignore it. > "Oh, come on Tamahome, fuck me. Fill my hot virgin pussy with your >big hard cock. Make me cum with you, baby. Let me feel your cum!! I >want you to >cum into my virgin pussy! (All begin hooting with an uncontrollable burst of laughter) TOM: Heh heh... hey Crow! Remember that little bet we made? CROW: What?!? Don’t tell me you were serious! TOM: (nods and laughs harder) CROW: (forks over the cash) Why couldn’t this be a Tamahome/Miaka fic? MIKE: Too bad we aren’t reading Shinji’s ‘Trapped’, or Crow might have won.... CROW: (grumbles) >Make me pregnant with your baby!!!" CROW: (gasp) You mean this whole time, Shinji’s been promoting unprotected sex? MIKE: Well, I don’t think condoms or birth control pills are easy to come by the ‘Fushigi Yuugi’ universe... TOM: Shame on him! I hope his flesh is torn apart by the blistering heat of... MIKE: Tom... please don’t say what I think you’re about to. TOM: Bite me, Nelson. > Tamahome's lungs were burning TOM: Were they near Yui’s crotch? ‘Cause I heard that particular area was toasty... MIKE: Tom! You have crossed -the line-! CROW: Heeeey, I feel so... belittled. (sniffles) >and grasping for air to feed the inferno >burning in his loins. TOM: I won’t say a thing. I swear. MIKE: (hardening his gaze) Good. >Sweat trickled off Yui's brow and fell damply on his >already soaked chest. CROW: Because, apparently, both of them are sweating quite a bit. MIKE: Not you too, Crow. CROW: I have a reputation to live up to, Nelson. >Tamahome cried out in ecstasy as his balls tightened with >impending relief. MIKE: I bet John Bobbit experienced that same ‘impending relief’. CROW and TOM: (sniggering) MIKE: What?! CROW: Hypocrite... MIKE: What? It was one innocent little comment. TOM: (laughs) Sure, Nelson. > "I'm cumming. Oh Yui I'm cumming. Aaahhhh Oooohhhh ahhhh." CROW: (shouting) AHHHHHHHHHH!!!! MIKE: (yelling) OHHHHHHHHHH!!! TOM: (shrieking) UUUUGGGHHH!!! > Tamahome's hips bucked and his body convulsed as he shot spurt after >spurt of >hot creamy cum deep into her burning virgin cunt. TOM: Nelson, can I please? MIKE: No. TOM: Just this once? MIKE: No. TOM: Spoil-sport... >Yui's tits were squashed against Tamahome's chest CROW: Agh! Hope that isn’t permanent. >as her body responded in kind, trembling and shaking as >Yui collapsed on top of Tamahome, fully, utterly, completely spent. TOM: Enough adjectives for you? CROW: Let’s go, Nelson. MIKE: You know, as far as lemons go, that wasn’t half bad. CROW: Yeah, maybe Pearl was being lenient this week. Doors... 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... Mike is quietly lurking toward the book that Tom was once reading as the bots converse today’s fanfic in another room. He picks up the small paper-back and his eyes gleam with something that could resemble victory. At that moment, Tom storms into the bridge. TOM: Mike?!? Can’t a guy have a little privacy? MIKE: (pointing to the cover) William Burrough’s ‘Naked Lunch’? Don’t you know of the vile garbage that pollutes these pages? TOM: Well... actually... it chronicles the darker regions of the human psyche and... Crow then wanders in with a smug look on his otherwise mechanical features. CROW: So who’s the yaoi freak, huh? TOM: Look who’s talking, ‘Mima’! CROW: (snarls) MIKE: Speaking of which, whatever happened to your dress, Crow? Or your sudden desire to become human? CROW: Oh, I decided against it. Why bother? After seeing today’s fic, I think I lost faith in humanity. TOM: So, you’re afraid of situations involving heat, huh? CROW: Yeah, well.... waitaminute! The light flashes again. MIKE: Oh, here’s our fare damsel. Hello Lady Pearl... and you two guys back there! ----- WMoD OBSERVER: Dear me! Does this ape ever learn how to address higher beings? BOBO: Higher being my left toe, brain guy. And what’ cha have against apes? You prejudiced---? PEARL: (growls) Shut up, the both of you! I’ve heard enough of you two to last a lifetime! With a whimper, the two settle down and remain silent. BOBO: (to the point of a whisper) Sorry, Lawgiver... PEARL: At any rate, Nelson, darling! (sweetest tone) Soon, very soon, I will find the fic to crush your soul. In the meantime, enjoy the company of your crossdressing bots. Bye now! ----- SoL CROW: SHE SAW ME? Agh! TOM: Well, goes to show you that you can never be truly safe. I guess this means we can safely say that you’re social life’s down the drain... permanently! MIKE: Not so fast, Tom. She said ‘bots’... as in plural. TOM: Agh! (head explodes) (FADE TO BLACK) ----- CREDITS mst3k created by Joel Hodgson mst3k produced by Best Brains, Inc. riffs written by Chuck Williamson original fanfic written by Shinji, the 10 O’clock Assassin In no way am I claiming to own either the ‘MST3K’ or ‘Fushigi Yuugi’ franchises. If I did, I would be a millionaire and wouldn’t even considering MiSTing the literature works of others. So please, if you have the need to sue me, I urge you to decline. I’m not worth much and it would be a big waste of time and manpower. Plus, I hope Shinji doesn’t mind me MiSTing one of his fics. Sorry, but I mailed you and... well... I didn’t get a response. But, if you want, you can MiST some of my works. Go ahead, I won’t mind... too much. >Time after time, penetrating the liquid heat of her loins. ----- Episode One: ‘Lustful Wishes’