Fushigi Seiryuu Theatre 3000! It was all darkness. She couldn't see, couldn't feel, could do nothing but float in the darkness and wonder what had become of her. Her last memories were of Nakago. Wonderful Nakago, for whom she died. Those damned Suzaku seishi killed her! But surely Nakago would revenge her, surely he would make things right, surely... The world fell out from under her. "WHAT IN THE...?!" Soi leapt to her feet and looked around. Suddenly feeling quite alive, she heard a laugh she had never thought she'd hear again. "KA KA KA KA KA! Welcome, Soi!" "Tomo!" Soi turned to see that behind her, her fellow Seiryuu seishi Tomo and Suboshi stood, both apparently none the worse for wear despite being dead. "Hi! Welcome to Hell!" Suboshi said, a tad too cheerfully. Soi glanced around her again, finally taking in the true nature of this place. It appeared to be... a living room. A rather comfortable living room at that, with a large-screen TV, a Laz-E-Boy and a nice couch. There was a door leading out of the room, but there were no windows. Soi scowled terribly around her. "What in the hell is this? I thought I was supposed to be dead!" Soi was none too happy with her new, rather peaceful-looking accomidations. "It's Hell. Weren't you listening?" Suboshi seemed a little annoyed. "We're all dead. So here we are." "You're dead? When did you die?" Soi asked. "Oh, it's a long story. Damn little brats." Suboshi shook his head. "Waaaaait a minute. If this is hell, then why aren't I in terrible agony?" "Because apparently Hell is something out of the Brady Bunch." Tomo spoke up, gesturing at the oh-so-wholesome surroundings. "But... but... shit, I can take this!" Soi plopped down on the couch and sulked. "Why aren't any of the other dead seishi here?" "Cause we're the cute ones?" Suboshi sat down on the other side of the couch. Soi glared at him. "You're awfully impertinant." she said, a bit of a threat in her voice. Suboshi shrugged. "Hey, none of us have our powers here, and besides, we're dead. What are you going to do to me, kill me?" Suboshi gloated. "So I can boss *you* around, if I want!" "I can still kick your ass without my powers." Soi glared again. Suboshi blinked. "Or, I could just sit here quietly." Suboshi said submissively. "Good boy." "A HA HA HA HAAAAA!" A sudden, deep-throated laugh filled the room, apparently from nowhere in particular. "ENJOYING YOUR NEW HOME, SEIRYUU SEISHI?!" "Hey! Who's there?" Soi stood, but realized there was no one to threaten, and so sat down again, sulking. "HERE!" The TV flickered on, to reveal the sillouette of a rather large man, with spikey hair and a cat on his shoulder. "HA! NOW YOU DON'T KNOW WHO I AM, AND I CAN EXACT MY REVENGE! I..." "I can tell who you are!" Tomo said. "You're Mitsukake, aren't you?!" "OH, POOP." Mitsukake came into clear view. "FINE, SO YOU GOT ME. I'M STILL IN CONTROL OF YOUR DESTINIES, THOUGH! HA HA HA!" "Hey, you're some kinda pacafist doctor! Why are you threatening us?" Suboshi complained. "And what's with all the caps lock?" "I GET CAPS LOCK BECAUSE I AM IN CONTROL! WHA HA HA!" Mitsukake, revelling in his one chance to costar in a fanfic, seemed to be playing his role to the fullest, very happy to get some attention at last. "Yeah, yeah, yadda yadda." Suboshi rolled his eyes. "So what are you gonna do?" "I HAVE BEEN ALLOWED..." Mitsukake began, but Soi interrupted him. "Can you quit with the caps lock? It's giving me a headache!" She rubbed her head for emphasis. "Oh. Okay, sorry." Mitsukake cleared his throat, and continued. "I have been allowed this one last chance to earn fame and love amongst Fushigi Yuugi fans! I shall be the villain (tragic villain!) in this wonderful series of MST3K-style fics, and..." "Yadda, yadda, yadda." Suboshi muttered again. "What about us? What happens to us?" "Hmph." Mitsukake looked genuinely annoyed. "Fine, fine, fine. I get to choose the punishment all of you have for the crimes you have commited, and I chose... the worst of all!" "That being...?" Tomo pressed. "You will have to read bad Fushigi Yuugi fanfiction... UNTIL YOU GO INSANE! WHA HA HA!" Mitsukake, doing his best to sound menacing, only managed to sound mildly deranged. The cat on his shoulders rolled his eyes. "Geez, get some acting lessons." Soi sighed. "And that damn Caps Lock is back..." "Excuse me!" Mitsukake said indignantly. "For that, your first fanfic is a lemon! Entitled, "Another Reason Why Tasuki Hates Women," it should cause all of you to understand what crap we poor Suzaku seishi go through!" The screen flickered, and then words began to appear on the screen. "Ka ka ka! You can put the words up, but you can't make us read!" Tomo challenged. A flash of lightning came from nowhere and fried him. "Itai." "Sit and READ!" Mitsukake ordered. Tomo sighed, and sat between Suboshi and Soi on the couch. And so the pain began.... >Another reason Tasuki hates women... Soi: Don't you mean otaku? >Azaellus thought everything was alright. Suboshi: Azaellus? Isn't that that Batman replacement guy? Tomo: Nope, that's Azrael... Suboshi: Same difference... > Not great, not horrible, just >mediocre, you know. Suboshi: Sorta like sex with Nakago, huh Soi? Suboshi: Itai... > It aint pretty, it aint bad, it's livable, >its what you gotta deal with whether you want to >or you dont. Tomo: Now it's sounding like Suzaku no Miko. > And this was just it. Wandering along >a road towards an unknown destination, alone, it >aint hot or cold, its not bumpy or smooth, its >undeterminable. Soi: This author wins the prize for vagueness! Tomo: This fanfic is not crappy nor lousy... no wait, it is. > The outcome's sketchy at length. >Az didn't care. Soi: Neither do I, but I'm reading this anyway to make some stupid healer happy. > She was used to these days. All past >experiences reminded her that these were the days most >shit happened at. Suboshi: For me, those days are the ones I eat the most prunes... > She was a good looking girl with >loooong green hair, and dark eyes. Soi: Green hair from swimming in over-chlorophylled pools, dark eyes from not sleeping and getting punched in the eyes... > Well, I mean, she was a mystic from >Facinaturu. Suboshi: Fa.. Facina.. Facinatu... what in the hell? Tomo: Self-Insertation Land. > And have you ever seen am ugly mystic? No such thing. Soi: I wonder if Taiitsu-kun knows this Az creature doesn't believe in her... Suboshi >And not only that, she was a fighter, contract killer, mercenary, escort, >assassin for hire, Suboshi: Fast-food worker, junkie, janitor, prostitute, rock idol, Sailor senshi... > you name it. You could tell by her black armor, Tomo: Yeah, only fighter/killer/mercenary/escort/assasins wear black armor. >the Sun Dog tattoo on her stumach, or the way she sized everyone up in her >eye as a price tag Tomo: Oh, so it's Tamahome! > or a meat popsicle. Suboshi: o_O Soi: Wipe that blood up before it stains the couch!! Little pervert... >"I hate these cyberpunk gibson wanna be writers," she muttered. Wait a sec, Tomo: "I'm talking about myself!" >Eh? Soi: Oh, it's Canadian. That explains a lot. >"LEKKA..!" a gruff voice came to her right. She paused, >eyes wide, teeth grit, absolutely still dredding the next moment-- Suboshi: Judge Dredd? >"s-sh!t..." *_O Tomo: Any guesses on what *that* is supposed to be?? Soi: I don't wanna know... >And she couldnt move cuz the next thing she knew she >was straight in a headlock, her long green hair >being tangled already beyond help. Suboshi: She's being attacked by the invisible man! Tomo: Maybe the trees are attacking her. Soi: Figures! Even nature abhors self-insertation! > "HEEEEY!!!" she >grabbed the man by his foot and flung him >into a tree. Tomo: Or, I could be wrong. >"Oi, bitch, come on now, is that anyway to treat the >incredibly sexy and very cool king of bandits?" Suboshi: Not to mention modest! > he hit the tree he seemed to >dissapear into the shadows. Tomo: He disappeared, just like this author's sense of grammar and spelling.. >Azaellus attempted to smooth her now knotted >and tangled hair back to normal. "Shit. Who the hell are >you. I've never seen you in my life." Suboshi: Yeah, but what *I* wanna know is if you recognize question marks! Because trust me, you need 'em! >He emerged from behind a rock beside her and smirked. The >guy, hell no she never seen him before! Tomo: For she had only seen up to episode 12. > He had kinda spiky >orange hair, michievous yellow eyes, wore a long black >coat distinguishing him as a bandit. Soi: I've seen my share of bandits, and Tasuki's the *only* one I know that has that coat. Tomo: Frequent customers, ne? *smack!* Tomo: Itai... > When he spoke his voice >was gruff and firey, "Never seen me before? Sure about that?" Suboshi: Is it just me, or is she obsessing over making sure we know she doesn't recognize him? Soi: "Now, I need a volunteer! Ah, you over there! Yes, come up here! I've never met you before, have I, Bob? ... oh, whoops." >Azaellus looked him over, a pretty kawaii punk, Tomo: "PUNK NO KAWAII!!" Suboshi: Itai! My ears! > with a really >loud osaka-ben accent. "I havent. Just who do you think you are >messing up my hair like that?!" Suboshi: "And messing up my grammar, too?!" >He blinked a few times, his grinning face was now blank. Soi: Sounds like Chichiri washed the smiley-face off of that damn mask of his. >"...eh? What the hell is your problem?" Tomo: Does anyone know who is talking? >Azaellus narrowed her eyes, "I dont think you understand me." Soi: "For you do not speak the Self-Insert language." >The bandit's face suddenly got fierce and pissed off, Suboshi: While the rest of his body got calm and composed... > "Well no SHIT! There >hasn't been a day in my life I've understood you bitches!" He turned and >walked down the path. Tomo: "Damn self-insertation freaks! I'll never understand those hentai idiots!" >She stared at him walking away, wondering what the hell he had a tessen >strapped across his back for. Soi: For proper posture? > It wasnt that hot. Tomo: Quite the contrary, I find his tessen rather... Soi: That's ENOUGH! Tomo: eep... > "Huh? Hey wait!" when he >didnt look back she ran after him. ending up walking beside him. "I dont care >who you are, alright? I'll even let you off for fukkin Suboshi: Furinkan? Isn't that the school from Ranma 1/2? >up my hair. Just tell me where i am." Soi: Of course! Suboshi, you're a genius! This is a cleverly disguised Ranma cross-over! And Az is really Ryouga! Tomo: Give up, it's a self-insert, just live with it. Soi: Hmph. >After a minute, he told her, "Mt. . In the county of Konan." Suboshi: Come visit glorious Mount Dot, in the county of Konan! Soi: I didn't know *counties* could wage war against each other.. >Grinning, she elbowed him in the side, "Arrigato, Carrot-chan." Suboshi: She should do something about that slur of hers. >"Wha?! CARROT?! Its Genrou! You dont recognize me?" he looked annoyed. Tomo: For GOD'S SAKE, she DOESN'T RECOGNIZE YOU! What kind of idiots are these Suzaku seishi?! >"Nah." >"Shit, women never know anything." Soi: You know, I'm feeling some hostility towards Tasuki right now... and it's not just because he killed me, either. >That kinda pissed Azaellus off. Suboshi: Kinda sorta, in a way. > Snarling, she took her Asura blade and >with it still in its sheath, she slammed the back of his knees out. Suboshi: WHOA! Tomo: Ouch.... Soi: She knocked his *kneecaps* out? Over *that?* ...I think I might like this Az girl after all! > Genrou >hit the ground hard on his back, catty yellow eyes wide with suprise. "What >the f--" >before he could finish her foot was on his chest, holding him down. Tomo: Must be one heavy girl, to hold him down like that. Suboshi: Isn't Tasuki's power supposed to be speed or something like that? Soi: Remember, she's a self-insert, she can kick any @$$ she cares too... >"I dont like sex Suboshi: Then you've never tried it. > ists." Suboshi: Oh. Never mind. Soi: And just what do *you* know about that, little boy? Suboshi: ^_- >"What's your problem you prick?!" Soi: 'She' has one of those?! She's a hermaphrodite! Tomo: If Tama-neko shows up, I'm leaving! > he tried to throw her off, but little >did the bandit know that us mystics, man we're strong as hell. Soi: No duh, Sherlock. You're a self-insert. You can be whatever the hell you want to be. >"I told you, I dont like sexist bastards. Unless of course, Im bein one," Suboshi: She probably doesn't like bad writers either. >she smirked, then removed her foot, only to slam her knee down in it's place. Soi: At least she has a nice sadistic streak. >Genrou choked a bit then snarled. Tomo: Nice and articulate. >"Get the fuck off! Lemme go! Stupid bitch! This is my mountain! I'M the one >that gets to kick YOU around!" he changed his tactic, "Kouji!! KOUJI!! >HELP!! Shit." Suboshi: It's too bad the Suzaku seishi weren't really this pathetic. We woulda won in an instant! >"Shut up for a second," Azaellus leaned close to him, and some of her hair >tickled the sides off his face. Little did the bandit know the mystic was >notorious around Facinaturu and the Sun Dog Mercenaries for two things: Suboshi: Her ass and her brea... Soi: NANI?! Suboshi: Uh, her grass and her bread! Yeah, that's it... > her >half assed Tomo: Sense of writing style? > temper and her sadistic perversion. Suboshi: Which is why she *posted* this. > "Lemme tell you, if you were >half as vicious and zealous in the sack as you are right now, I'd take you >home as my little plaything..." she stuck her tongue out and licked from his >chin to his mouth. Suboshi: O_O Soi: You're going to have to get that nosebleeding of your under control. You're making a mess! >"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" Genrou screamed, struggling. Tomo: You'd think, being a bandit, he would know at least a *little* about that. > "Dont >touch me!" Soi: While doing that? That's hard to do. >Azaellus tilted her head slightly, curiously, snd giggled. Suboshi: She sounds like Elmyra from Tiny Toons. ... uh, not that I've ever watched that. > "What, you gay or >somethin? I'll turn you straight." Tomo: Sure you will, honey. Sure. > She touched his face on the side and kissed him, slipping her >tounge between his lips and into his mouth. Tomo: As our Official Homosexual (tm), may I just say right now that being kissed by a girl is *NOT* enough to make me turn straight. Enough to make me feel sick, maybe... > Genrou's eyes were very wide open, and >he almost let himself go along with it. Hey a girl's a girl, he could only think >of one thing they were good for, and so-- Soi: That 'only one thing they were good for' better be ruling with an iron fist. > WAIT A SEC GENROU! Tomo: HANG IN THERE, NAKAGO! > No one rapes >you! Suboshi: Girls can't rape boys. Not like that, anyway. > He >bit down on her tongue with his fangs. Tomo: "Can you feel the love tonight?" >"YAAAAAAOOOOWWWWW!!" Azaellus squealed and pulled away, grabbing her tounge. >Genrou took his chance and got out his tessen. Tomo >"LEKKA...! SHIIEEEN!" >WHen the fire cleared there was no trace of her. Suboshi: Burnt to dust. Crap, he was serious. > Genrou hopped up, and wiping >his mouth with his palm muttered, "Holy shit, that was scary." Soi: It gets worse. >"Hellloooo Gen-Chan! You got a way of scarin off the ladies! Yeah i know, it's my >horrible face! You got that right, right? Hai! Thank you, come again." Suboshi: WHAT is Kouji ON?! >Genrou looked at Kouji and said nervously, "Uh. You saw dat?" Suboshi: Oh, look, it's an old gangster movie now. >The blue haired bandit Kouji, also Genrou's best friend, nodded, smiling >stupidly. Soi: "Me bandit! Me like sake! Me like brawl!" Tomo: "Me like Gen-chan!" Soi: Ecchi! >"Neva laffed so hard. And yea she was easy on the eyes. You looked like you was likin >it for a second, eh Gen-Chan, eh?" Poke poke nudge wink snicker. Suboshi: A wink's as good as a nod to a blind bat. >"Piss off." Soi: Love to leave, but sadly... >~*~*~*~ Suboshi: Okay... so *what* is *that*?! Soi: Something you don't want to encounter on a dark night... Tomo: A three-eyed, four-mouthed monster? >Azaellus watched them from a high up branch in a chestnut tree. Soi: "Azaellus roasting on an open fiiire..." Tomo: Like we could be that lucky. > She was >lounged out on the branch, pickin her teeth with a dagger. Tomo: Sadly, she slipped on the branch, and the dagger shoved back into her throat, the knife's tip exiting the back of her neck... Suboshi > "Jesus, i kiss a guy >an' what? He tries to incinerate me? Heeeellllllll naw... he aint getting >away with that." she snickered a bit insanely, "Helllll naw, man, I'm gonna >GET my WAY..." Tomo: Horny, mentally depraved rednecks and the bandits who DON'T love them, on the next Sally Jesse. >By one o'clock that night at the peak of Mt. in the bandit hideout, Suboshi: Oh, what a great view you get from Mount Dot! Why, it's amazing! Soi: No, no, silly boy. The mountain's name is "in the bandit hideout!" Suboshi: I like Mount Dot better... >everyone was pretty toasted. Tomo: Genrou's getting a little liberal with that fan, isn't he? > Everyone, except for of course Kouji and Genrou, Soi: Of course. >cuz one of them could outdrink all the bandits with only half a liver, straight. Suboshi: But once they came out of the closet, their alchohol endurance dropped dramatically. >Anyway, the subject of the green haired girl Genrou tried to mug in the >woods earlier today comes up. Kouji is amused that Genrou gets so embarassed >over this. Soi: Soi is amused that the author changed tense. >"Why you actin all sketchy, Gen-chan?" Suboshi: Because he thinks he's Relm! Tomo: Nani? Suboshi: Heh heh... nothing. >"What you talkin bout? I not actin sketchy. That crazy was all on me, tryin >to get in my pants 'en stuff. She was crazy." Tomo: Crazies often are. Soi: And you would know. >"Naw she was horny for ya, mighty Tasuki." Kouji and some of the bandits started >laughing drunkenly. Suboshi: The mighty Tasuki, in it's natural habitat, unfettered by human civilization! >Genrou flicked them all off. "Shut yer ass up. If i wanted a girl i could get >one myself." Suboshi: "I got the money after all those people we stole from... ne?" >Kouji snorted, "Yeah I know right? You jus' write a name on one of those pieces >of paper! Heh heh, lemme give you some info, brother. Illusions dont count." Tomo: Au contraire. Soi: You better not have any of Nakago, fruitcake... >Genrou kicked his friend's chair over, "Let's not forget who got caught doin >THAT." >Anyway, Tomo: Moving along now... > after a few more swigs of sake, Genrou had enough of hangin around, >and decided to kick off in his room. Suboshi: I never knew Genrou liked American football! > The place was nice, warm fur-lined bed, >canopy, and lotsa loot from rich guys he ripped off. Tomo: I take it that there are often bed-carrying rich men on this mountain? > He tossed off his coat, >took off his shoes, stripped away his shirt and pants, and stood there in his >boxers holding his tessen. (Heh.) Tomo Suboshi: ... I don't get it. > He tossed the fan to a table beside the bed >and then hopped in, wrapping the soft covers around his body. Soi: He hopped into a table? >"Oh Genrou-sama! How erotic your surroundings are... and you never share >them?" >Genrou groaned. "Sweet Jesus, not you again." Soi: My sentiments exactly. > He reached for his tessen to find >it gone. Suboshi: How can he find it if it's gone? >"So how do ya use this again?" the girls voice came from somewhere >in the room. "Lekka? Shinen?" A little puff of flame lit a few candles >nearby, lighting the room up dimly. Genrou barely made out the girl's figure. >He was too tired and too drunk to try to fight. Tomo: "Okay, okay... but I gedda be on top." >"Dont ya ever givvup? Whas ya name anyway?" >"Azaellus! You didn't recognize me?" Soi: Yeah, you're that self-insert pervert girl! >"Nuh uh." >"Shit. Men are such cavemen." She was now on the edge of his bed. "Relax now, >I'm not here to kill you." Tomo: If only. >"No shit. You wanna fuck me." Genrou backed away near the headboard, "It aint >gonna happen. Na ah." Suboshi: Give up, Genrou. You're facing self-insertation lass! You can't win! >Azaellus scracthed off plan A and resorted to plan B. Soi: What's plan B? Tomo: I don't know! I haven't thought of plan B yet! > It was cheating a little, >but hey, sometimes in the game of love you had to break the rules. "Genrou..." >she was suddenly next to him, her head on his shoulder, and he didn't move. Suboshi: She cast Stone on him? >Mystic magic was called charm magic. The undertones of her voice was weaving >a parody of the spell called Facination. He could still think like himself >yet hormones were doubled. Soi: New Horny Tasuki! Same price as Regular Tasuki, with twice the hormones! Suboshi: Wouldn't that price be free? Soi: Now you're catching on... >"You're not supposed to be the one tryin to get in MY pants..." he muttered. >"I feel like a stick of meat." Suboshi: "Ugly bags of mostly water!" > Sighing as if in surrender, he hung an arm >around her shoulders. And suddenly like a truck hitting a unsuspecting cow All Suboshi: Whoa! That's cool! Soi: Didn't think that would happen! Tomo: Next, run over Miaka! > he was aware of her soft >skin, no armor Soi: K'so! It was teasing us. Suboshi: Damn you, Az-rat! Damn you to HFIL! Tomo: Na... nani? Suboshi: Long story... >hiding it. Just her shoulders and the back of her neck and his arm. And her >body now right next to his, warm wet lips now sucking gently on the side of his >neck... Huh? When did that happen? Soi: Just now. Weren't you paying attention? > Genrou's expression in that dim candle >light turned from suprise, to confusion, then finally to surrender. >Azaellus snickered, then whispered, "Your like a tame cougur or something >... i'm just waiting for you to cork out..." Suboshi: You know, if both of them were landed on by a large mecha, that would be a pretty nice ending. Yeah, I could live with that. > Then she kissed him like she >kissed him a few hours back on the dusty going to nowhere path, Tomo: The dusty going to nowhere path, yet another exciting part of this dirty going to nowhere story! > slipping her >tounge past his lips. And just like a few hours back on the dusty nowhere path, >he bit her tongue with his fangs, Suboshi: ...slowly sucking the lifeblood from her body. Little did anyone realize that Tasuki's fangs were functional... > except this time a hella lot softer. This >response was exactly what Azaellus wanted. She wrapped an arm around his body, >and tugged on him to roll this way onto her. Genrou took that, and a little >more. He shoved his tounge into her mouth, kissing her roughly and a little >savangely, maybe, he liked the way her mouth tasted, sweet like she just finished >sucking on some candy so he wanted more like he did with everything. Her hands around his hips >now, she already had off his >boxers. Suboshi: You know what would be nice right now? Soi: What? Suboshi: Listening to our singles. Anybody wanna try to sing "Never Get Away" with me? Soi: ...It might dull the pain. Tomo: How come I don't get a single? Soi: Because you're an annoying, two-dimensional idiot. >Genrou stopped kissing her to get some air, and to focus his drunk ass >attention to other parts of the body that were standing at attention (heh heh.) Tomo: Salute, private! >This was a weird feeling he had, actually had a very strong desire to screw some >one allll night. Tomo: Oh, it's not *that* weird. > "Genrou.." she moaned again, "please..." Tomo: "You're sitting on my foot... itai..." > he looked up with >the candlelight flickering in half open demon eyes. Tomo: My god! You mean Tasuki was a demon all this time? That explains why we had such a hard time killing him... > Azaellus looked at him >the same way. As he moved down kissing, suckin, nibbling, licking his way down >her body, Tomo: How many licks *does* it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? > something in the back of his brain said 'Look what your doing. A WOMAN >made you do this.' Tomo: I'm starting to think this is some sort of bizzare pro-yaoi propaganda. Yes, that makes sense! This is just to encourage people to write more yaoi fics about us, so that no more stories like this are out there! .... or not. >As he licked one of her nipples like a kid licking ice cream >off his fingers, Tomo: Delicious and nutritious! ... I feel dirty. > Genrou told the back of his brain he didnt give a fuck. This >chick was gonna go home happy. Tomo: Can't disappoint the S-I character, can we? > Down at the good end when he finally got there, Tomo: Women don't *have* a good end. >he really soaked it up with his tounge, makin her squirm and moan and gush with Tomo: Look out, she's sprung a leak! >that pattern, you know, lick dip slide roll suck lick dip slide roll suck, Tomo: Sounds like the steps to the electric slide... >spreadin his meal all out with his hand then lookin up in her cloudy eyes then >smirkin like-- SHUT UP WITH THE SIMILES AND GET TO THE SEX! Whew, tough crowd. Tomo: Oh, look, now the S-I thinks she's Kouji. How cute. Who's next? ... with any luck, it'll be Miboshi and she'll *never* get laid. >He stopped when she sounded almost ready to get off, then slid his way up mission >ary, Tomo: Slipping, sliding, rolling... what is she, a Slip and Slide?! > it was easy going from the sweaty two bodies and the skin sliding on skin. Suboshi: Hey, is it almost over? Tomo: Looks like it. They just assumed the position. Suboshi: I wonder if Aniki would mind me singing *his* song. Tomo: Come on, we're going to have to handle this together. >He was overwhelming her with his lip action, and with that same intensity he was >moving inside her. Tomo: Now that's odd, he never actually entered her. > Lets look at it from the other side. Suboshi: Please, let's not. > Azaellus thought >his body was amazing. Suboshi: "Wow, this guy is a lot better than that crossdresser I bonked last week!" Tomo: It's bad enough with one Suzaku seishi. Let's not bring Nuriko into it too. > She couldnt tell at first glance, but now feeling it >all over her it was arousing as hell! Soi: May I say that I doubt hell is all that arousing? > Her legs were wrapped around his hips as >they grinded together, his heavy muscular body banging her again and again, this >guy was a freakin animal... Suboshi: More than I *ever* wanted to know! >"Whats that noise? I dunno. Soi: You don't want to know. > Go check on it. Alright, if i'm not back in 10 >minutes, get worried. Go with god, my child..." Kouji snuck down the hall, >exepct he didnt really sneak cuz his drunk ass was makin so much noise. Soi: Do you think the author is really this stupid, or that she's writing this way on purpose to make it seem more bandit-ish? Tomo: Now, now, she's going to flame us bad enough already... > He jump >ed out in the hall meaning to roll along the floor but missed the floor and >somehow landed in a crate. Suboshi: I guess bandits just have crates laying around randomly in the middle of their halls...? >He was stuck in the crate and it fell over and busted before he was able to >move on. He inched his way, giggling insanely, along the wooden floor untill >he got to Genrou's room. And shit, was he suprised. "I hear.... I hear.... Tomo: The Sound of Music? >i hear... sex?" Kouji sniffed the air, "Yes I definatly smell it. Couldn't >be, could it? No way. Genrou? No way. That's what i said, Kouji-sama. This >couldnt be--" All: IT COULDN'T BE! WE GET THE IDEA! >A faint female voice moaned his best friends name. Suboshi: Tasuki's not going to be too happy about her calling out to Kouji. >Kouji sneaked away on all fours, crawled out a window, tumbled down a hill 50 >feet before screaming. "AHHHHH HAHAHHAHA AHHHHH HHAHAAHAAAAA!!! Soi: Any editor's reaction to this fic. >OOOOHHHH HOOHOO >HOOOOO! THIS IS SOME SHIT!! Tomo: *My* reaction to this fic. > HOO HOO! LEKKA SHEN! WOOOHOOO!! >HAAHAHAKKK... hakk.. Suboshi: I think that's the first time I've ever seen anybody actually succeed in laughing themselves to death. Wow. >*cough* um, Kouji-san i think your a little too drunk. No way sir. Gomen. >Blah." he passed out. Soi: A pointless end to a pointless fic. >Next Chapter Suboshi: Please! No! >...by Az Rat the twisted Tomo: Do you realize there was no warning on this fic? Soi: Somebody should sue... **** "So, what did you think?" Mitsukake's face flicked back on the screen. "... it wasn't THAT bad." Soi sniffed dismissively. "Maybe a little boring..." "I feel a little sorry for Tasuki." Suboshi confessed. "That was nothing. I could make a worse illusion than that!" Tomo said confidently. "Wha... what?" Mitsukake blinked. "You mean you weren't struck dumb by the evils of self-insertation? But... but.. but that Forrester guy I asked said that self- inserts were the worst..." "Heh. WE'RE the worst! You can't scare us!" Tomo cackled, making Soi and Suboshi wince. "... very well. Next time, I won't go so easy on you!" Mitsukake promised. "Next time, you'll be begging for mercy!" "You need to see someone about anger management therapy." Soi commented. Mitsukake's face blinked off the screen. "... we're still here. And still sane!" Suboshi smiled. "I wish Aniki were here to see this! All three of us, getting along and working together to stay sane! This is just the kind of thing that makes him happy!" The other two stared at him. Finally, Soi asked, "What do you *mean*, us getting along?" "Well, you and Tomo haven't attacked each other, or anything." Suboshi explained. "Hmph." Soi's nose went up into the air. "Fine. As long as we're trapped in this place, then we might as well have a truce. But, once we're out of here, all bets are off!" "Suits me." Tomo cackled. "So, anybody know of any food around here...?" THE END ^_^ Thank you for reading my MST! This is not an attack on the author personally, just on the work. MST3K is copyrighted by Best Brains. Fushigi Yuugi is copyrighted by Watase Yuu, and a number of other people who aren't me. Don't sue me! ^_- All comments, flames, and etc. can go to Mearl.dox@person.net! Let me know what you thought! Till next time! >And her body now right next to his, warm wet lips now sucking gently on the side of his >neck... Huh? When did that happen?