-=TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS=-
		(after all, electricity is expensive)

(The future is now...)


MSTed From the Files of Kage no Ryuu, Dragon's Shadow.

A Mystery CrossRealms Theatre 3000  Riffer-fic... (Kinda.)


An Introfic to the MSTing cast, and the jackass at the controls...

Riffer: HEY! No fair!

Shut up.

Riffer: <meekly> Yes, sir.


Any random mention of certain anime characters, song titles, etc. are 
the property of their respected creators/distributors/etc.  Just covering 
my own tracks here folks....

The characters in this Fanfic (and all associated MSTing I write), notably, 
Jaye Kuroneko, SilverNight, J-Chan/J-Kun Yamazaki, and Sir Magus Darkcloak, 
are copyrighted to me, Kage no Ryuu, Dragon's Shadow.  (OtakuMan64@cs.com)  
Any outside use of them, unless I grant permission, is by no means allowed. 


START OF INTROFIC

SCENE: {A large room, resembling an old movie theater, but with only the 
first few rows of seats intact, the rest inexplicably missing.  Instead of 
a theater screen, a giant television set is in place, with a small 
transparent box, locked, housing a VCR, at the bottom} 

{A young catgirl enters, chasing a squirrel, but promptly loses the rodent} 
{she looks around, idly grooming her black, white-striped fur, and 
adjusting her red ponytail.}

Jaye:  Niyao... what is this place?

{the speakers crackle to life}

Voice: This is the Riffer's house.

Jaye: Myowr?! Who's there?

Voice: Me. The Riffer.

{Jaye jerks back, hissing angrily, as the doors and windows slam and lock 
tightly, and a spotlight settles upon both her, and one of the seats of the
Theater.}

Voice: Please... sit down, Ms. Kuroneko.

Jaye: <sitting, whiskers twitching in irritation> I won't even ask how you 
     know my name, Riffer.

Voice: Ah... but the other three have yet to show up... then I'll explain 
      why all of you are here...

Jaye: Other three? Nyaaa... this is weird...

{A howl is heard outside, and a silver-black furred wolf races in, the 
doors rapidly opening and closing just for him, then again locking} {With a 
slightly strained bark, the wolf changes shape, standing erect, paws 
becoming handlike, and a pair of cutoff jeans appearing to modestly cover 
his humanoid form}

Silv: <to himself>  Foolish hunter... I gave him no need to pursue me... 
     I only fed upon his catch to sustain my own life. <looks around> Eh?  
     This is not my cavern... what trickery is this?

Voice: You are SilverNight, I presume, werewolf?

Silv: <looks around, puzzled> Indeed I am.  Why do you ask? And who are you, 
     at that rate?

Voice: I am called Riffer. Please take a seat.

{A light settles upon Silv, and a theater seat next to Jaye} {growling 
slightly in confused wonder, he sits to her left} {They begin to converse 
idly, getting acquainted}

Voice: Ms. Yamazaki and Mr. Darkcloak should be here within a few moments.

{A young woman enters, with the same red ponytail as Jaye, but she is 
clearly a human, not a Nekojin.  She brushes off her "Got Anime?" T-shirt, 
and looks around, rather confused, adjusting her knapsack}

J-Chan: Kuso... this isn't Planet Hentai...  Where's that "All-You-Can-Eat" 
       nyotaimori buffet?  I even had my chopsticks and strap-on ready...

{upon hearing the woman's complaint, both werewolf and catgirl mutter 
"Hentai.", to which she replies "Damn right, I am."}

Voice: Ms. Jay Yamazaki, AKA J-Chan, correct?

J-Chan: Yeah, your point?  Whoever you are, ya better show yourself... Cause 
       if you're cute, <lecherous grin> I'm gonna strip you nekkid and--

{she is drowned out by a buzz of speaker static}

Voice: Ahem. Better.  Ms. Yamazaki, please sit down.

{J-Chan sits, pulling a hentai doujinshi from her knapsack, and reading, 
absently listening to Jaye and Silv talking, not really caring who this 
Riffer guy is, too wrapped up in reading about Haruka and Michiru's 
"playtime"}

Voice: As for my last... guest...  Mr. Darkcloak... time to get him in 
      here... <buzz of speaker static, resembling a synthesized laugh>

{A strange object, like a blackhole, opens up near the door.  A man steps 
out, clad in a black cape, a blue tunic, and carrying a Scythe, the portal 
closing behind him.  With a look of annoyance, the man looks around, the 
Scythe vanishing.} {Reaching up with a gloved hand, he brushes his lavender 
hair from out of his crimson eyes, tucking the strands behind his pointed 
ears, letting the rest of his hair drape down his back, as usual.}

Magus: How the shade did I get here?  This is NOT the CrossRealms Tavern...

Voice: Ah... I see the last victim, erm, Guest for my little party has 
      arrived...  Welcome, Mr. Darkcloak.

Magus: <staring upwards, toward the ceiling and speakers> Who the Darkness 
      are you?  And how do you know my name?

{A light again shines on one of the seats, and also on Magus, but 
inexplicably, is rather dim around his immediate form, keeping his true 
appearance secretive from the spotlight's view.}

Voice: Please, Mr. Darkcloak... sit down with your fellow... uh, guests, and 
      I'll explain.

Magus: Hmph. Whatever. <sits between Jaye and J-Chan, keeping silent, only 
giving his name to the others, and learning theirs>

{From L-R, the order is SilverNight, Jaye, Magus, and J-Chan}

{The giant television sparks, then flickers to life, showing nothing except 
a silhouette of a man wearing glasses, like some deviant parody of 
Doctor Tomoe.} {The image introduces itself as the Riffer}

Riffer: <half to himself> Well, well, well... an odd group, but doubtless 
       more organized than my fellow Mads have assembled for their 
       "3K"-classed experiments...

Magus: Hey kittycat, any clue what this joker is ranting about?

Jaye: Mrowr...  You've got me.  He's been in the catnip, I think.

Riffer: Ahem.  I gathered you all here, with the use of a nifty toy I 
       invented, called the Super Homerealm Interdimensional Transportation 
       Finder And Character Exporter, which --

J-Chan: Uhh... you realize that abbreviates to SHI--

{Speaker static blares a moment}

Riffer: Ahem! Yes... I did note the abbreviation, but only after naming it.  
       Shut up.  As I was saying, the SHI... erm, my invention... in 
       essence, selected you four from your home dimensions, and altered 
       your course of travel so that you would end up in this Theatre...

Silv: But why select we four?  Be there some great destiny in store for 
     those such as ourselves?

Riffer: Uhm... no.  Just random chance. <looks to the right, and smacks a 
       metallic object offscreen>  Stupid Infinite Improbability Generator.  
       Last time I buy from a Mad Science yardsale... I wanted a group of 
       gorgeous Anime babes, but NOOOO...  Had to get this bunch of 
       idiots...

All: <mutter darkly, except J-Chan, who is mumbling "Anime babes...", and 
    drooling slightly, until Magus slaps her>

Riffer: <looks back at them> Ahem.  Nevermind.  As I was saying... I brought 
       you here, to enlist in a special experiment. 

Jaye: Which is?

Riffer: You are to sit here, and give commentary on badly-done fanfiction.  
       My job is to monitor you...  If I find the ONE fic to render your 
       minds into so much warmed-over tapioca, then, I shall broadcast 
       that ONE fic all over the planet, in every medium possible, and thus, 
       with humanity reduced to drooling vegetables, easily take total 
       control of the WHOLE WORLD!  
       MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Magus: Idiot.  Nobody can rule forever.  Why even tell us this anyway? 

Riffer: I have a raging ego.  That, and something this good CAN'T be kept a 
       total secret...

{Magus stands up, headed for the door. The others follow, but all four are 
stopped inches from the door by a crackling burst of energy, blocking off 
the door.  They find that the other doors and windows of the Theatre are 
treated similarly.  All impenetrable.}

Silv: <growling in anger> Riffer! Release us from this imprisonment at once! 

Riffer: <synthesized evil chuckling from the speakers> Now, now...  The 
       experiment hasn't even begun yet... I can't release any of you 'till 
       this whole thing is done...  That could take forever, if things 
       don't go JUST the way I want them to...

Jaye: <pitiful mewling, tail slowly twitching> Then how'll we survive? What 
     about food, water, beds, and other things we'll need?

Riffer: Don't worry about not having a litterbox, kitty... <a light shines 
       on a door just off to the screen's right, previously hidden by 
       curtains>  All the things you'll need to live during this experiment 
       are in those rooms; beds, kitchen, bathroom, and even a small VR 
       simulation area, to help you unwind after any particularly - heh, 
       heh - *unsettling* fanfics...  Only one thing is not going to be 
       provided for you four, during my experiments...

J-Chan: Let me guess, oh tall, dark, and deranged...  The one thing we won't 
       get, is our freedom, right?

Riffer: Bingo, pervert-girl. <chuckles>  But I won't make you four suffer 
       immediately... Even I have SOME compassion...  I'll give you the day 
       off, to get acquainted with one another, and the Theatre...  Consider 
       this momentary kindness a rare treat... 'cause it is just that, 
       Rare.  Byebye for now, my little lab-rats.

{The screen goes blank, leaving only the four, and the faint humming glow of 
the giant TV, along with a few stray lights to illuminate the vast room.} 

Silv: My friends, we have found ourselves in a madman's grip... it is all 
     too readily apparent that fighting is no option, so I say we let things 
     come as they may, and simply persevere to the end of this matter.  Are 
     the three of you willing to follow my example on this?

{Jaye and J-Chan nod, while Magus grumbles in disgruntled annoyance, 
agreeing as well, with the comment, "As soon as we get out, I'm gonna filet 
that Riffer for this."}

{They all exit the Theatre, as the lights, loudspeakers, and TV go out, and 
the room grows silent and dark}

-=CLICK....=-


END OF INTROFIC

Well... I know this wasn't a true MSTing, but, unlike several folks who have 
used "Non-Standard Casts", such as Don Euclid, Mike Surbrook, Nightbreak (in 
his "Club Anipike" MSTings), and a few other folks whose names currently 
escape me, my entire MSTing cast, and the guy imprisoning them, are entirely 
of my own deranged little mind, and not composed of any kind of
pre-existing/pre-trademarked characters.  I felt that, at the least, instead 
of filling my first MSTing with a huge intro to the cast/crew, I should give 
a small Introfic to get readers/fellow MSTers acquainted with my 
characters. 

As previously mentioned, "The characters in this Fanfic (and all associated 
MSTing I write), notably, Riffer, Jaye Kuroneko, SilverNight, J-Chan/J-Kun 
Yamazaki, and Sir Magus Darkcloak, are copyrighted to me, Kage no Ryuu, 
Dragon's Shadow.  (OtakuMan64@cs.com)  Any outside use of them, unless I 
grant permission, is by no means allowed."  And I DO ask that, should you 
wish to use my crew in any MSTings (crossovers, for example), that you 
email the above address.

My first MSTing will arrive shortly, and, most likely, will be a Lemonfic 
MSTing, if only for the fact that, due to the idiots who write them, they 
are quite easily the most fun to riff. 

By the way, doubtless you've noticed my MSTing style (which I've hinted at 
in this Introfic) takes bits and pieces from the styles of Mike Surbrook, 
and Megane 6.7 ... Well, all I can say is "Imitation is the sincerest form 
of flattery."  It was their riffings of things like "Go, AMP, Go!", and the
infamous "Artemis's Lover" that inspired me to start my own MSTings, and 
my borrowing from their MSTing styles, is kind of my way of thanking them.

Ja ne!

--Kage no Ryuu, Dragon's Shadow.

 

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