[SCENE: A dimly lit room. There is a large plush couch, a big screen TV and a VCR. Noriko Kobayashi enters, followed quickly by Shion Nys. Both are dressed in their normal fashion. A few moments later, Ling Ling Li and Marta Nys enter. Ling Ling is dressed *exactly* like Hsien-ko (aka Lei-Lei) from Darkstalkers, while Marta is wearing a 'kung-fu' jacket and pants (sort of like Bruce Lee from "Enter the Dragon").] SHION : And what brought *this* on? LING LING: Well, since we are watching a Darkstalkers fic, I figured I'd pay homage to one of the few major Chinese characters in anime. MARTA: And the number two Chinese martial arts fighting babe, after Chun Li of course. SHION : Of course. NORIKO : Exactly how to you breathe in that outfit? LING LING : It's not easy. SHION: Exactly how many major Chinese anime characters are there? LING LING: Well... there's Hsien-ko, her sister Ling Ling - NORIKO: No relation? LING LING: - no relation - and there's myself, and Chun Li, Mousse, Shampoo and... and... NORIKO: Lum Cheng. MARTA: Who? NORIKO: AMP Officer from real late in Silent Mobius. MARTA: Oh. SHION: And Myung from Macross Plus. MARTA: And? And? LING LING: Heh... I can't think of anymore. SHION: Maybe our extensive fan base will be able to help us out. NORIKO: Is it that important? LING LING: To me it is. MAGIC VOICE: Hello. ALL : Hello... MAGIC VOICE: I see. Well, once again you have a letter. NORIKO: On screen. >Dear Ladies, > Jamie here. MARTA: Y'know, we get so many letters from that guy, I'm starting to worry. SHION: Well, at least *someone* writes! >First off, I would like to apologize to Marta for >giving you such a bad Mai lemon to read. I was in a huge rush when I NORIKO: Hey! What about the rest of us? >found it and I should have made sure that it was good before sending it >off. LING LING: It wasn't *that* bad. MARTA: It had far too little of Mai. >I have just read the riffing of Largo 2 and I loved it! Very funny >indeed! At the risk of sounding like a pervert, I found the scene with >Ling-Ling bouncing in her seat to be one of the best parts. LING LING: MARTA: Heh... and that ain't the half of it. > Now, I would like to ask a favor of you ladies. Would you mind >if my new character, Alexander Misamoto, come over to riff a fanfic with >you? You see, even though he's an *good* MSTier, and he spends a lot of >time with the other Anime characters at Club Anipike, they simply don't >have the expierence that you four do. NORIKO: Define 'experience'? >Think you could take him under your wing for a fanfic or two? >I would be in your debt. Hey! How about >riffing the fanfic at Club Anipike? You could all meet Trunks! ALL: T r u n k s... MAGIC VOICE: I take it then that you wish to met with him? NORIKO: Of course not! I have my career to consider! LING LING: Speak for yourself! MARTA: Well... uh... maybe. I mean, he is a *guy*. SHION: How many times do I have to repeat myself? Dark Schneider! [pause] NORIKO: Do you think they bought it? MARTA: Not a chance. >Yours Truly, >Jamie Jeans MAGIC VOICE : We have movie sign. [The TV turns on] A FURRY COUPLE MiSTed by Michael Surbrook with Noriko Kobayashi, Ling Ling Li, Marta Nys and Shion Nys > A Furry Couple MARTA: Couple of what? NORIKO: If you have to ask, you don't need to know. LING LING: Furry couple? No Hsien-ko? SHION: My sister I can understand, but you? > by Brad Leifer > All characters are copyrighted by Capcom >Author's note: This is a lemon fanfic, which means that there is some >sexual material in here. SHION: No kidding? And I thought a lemon story was about fresh fruit! NORIKO: Depends on the lemon. MARTA: Whoa! Noriko made a funny!!! >If you are not at least 18 years old, NORIKO: Then how did you get here? MARTA: Make like everyone else and lie about your age. >don't read any farther, otherwise, go ahead. SHION: Just try not to get the screen sticky. LING LING: Eww... what a nice image... >If there's anything wrong, write a corrected version, but put my name on >it! LING LING: Suuure! Of course we will! >Felicia had been waiting for this day all the time. NORIKO: She was going to the vet's to be 'tutored'. MARTA: Whoaaa... are you in a dark mood or what? >And now, it finally came. SHION: All *over* the sheets! >This was the day she would marry her one true love, NORIKO: Hello Kitty? LING LING: Felix the Cat? MARTA: Garfield? SHION: Fritz the Cat? MARTA: Omaha! LING LING: Down, girl. >Jon Tablain, the werewolf. MARTA: Werewolf? LING LING : There wolf! SHION : No... there wolf, there castle. NORIKO: Ladies and gentleman, the "Young Frankenstein" sketch! >She loved both forms, and this made Jon happy, >since he had always been shunned by the devils MARTA: -- but the Flyers and Islanders really liked him! NORIKO: Yeah, but I heard he signed with Toronto. >because he had a human form, and by humans >because he had a werewolf form. SHION: Thus creating a strong need for affirmative action! >Felicia had to pick her wardrobe, when Morrigan Aenslad, >the succubus, MARTA : Yow... baby! LING LING: How exactly does that outfit stay on? NORIKO: Wishful thinking. >walked in. She had agreed to be the bridesmaid for the wedding. >"Congratulations, Felicia!" she said. SHION : You're getting out of this fanfic! >"You must be so happy!" MARTA : Of course, I'm still stuck in this story... Hey? You mind if I borrow Jon for a while? You're not using him. >"Yes, I am," replied Felicia. LING LING : And you're still stuck here, so nyahh! >"Do you think you could help me SHION: Get me out of this fic? My contract said nothing about a love scene with a *dog*! >pick out something to wear? NORIKO: What goes good with fur? >Jon is going in human form in a tuxedo MARTA: There's a Sailor Moon joke in there... I know it! >since we're getting married in a human church, >and I can't go like this!" LING LING: What? Naked? Like it's ever stopped you before. >"Maybe you should try the dark violet one," NORIKO: The dark violet what? SHION: I hope it's a dress. >suggested Morrigan. Felicia agreed, and went off. MARTA : HOW DARE YOU! Don't you know that dark violet clashes with blue hair? Dammit woman, don't you have *any* fashion sense?!! SHION : What the hell was that? MARTA : Felicia going off. LING LING: >The wedding was a wonderful one. There was cake, flowers, and music. >Everyone danced, and Felicia was the best of them all. When the couple >kissed, everyone clapped. SHION: What a sweet ceremony. I feel moved. MARTA : I may weep openly. NORIKO: LING LING: Are you alright? NORIKO: I... I always cry at weddings. MARTA: You have *got* to be kidding!!! Someone tell me she's kidding, please? >That night, Jon (in werewolf form, since it was a full moon) NORIKO: Probably October 31st too. >and Felicia ALL: And Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice! >were in bed together. LING LING: That's quite a crowd. >This was to be their first night as a couple, >and they wanted to make a good initial impression on each other. SHION: Shouldn't that be 'in'? MARTA: And people complain about me? >Jon suddenly said, MARTA: Hey! You're not Jenna Jameson!!! SHION : Like any of our readers are going to know who *she* is. >"You realize, of course, that your pretty dress should come off, >as well your furry bikini and panties." LING LING: She's a *catgirl*, she doesn't *have* a furry bikini and panties! NORIKO: This is the new, revised, politically correct Felicia! >Felicia was only too glad to do so. NORIKO: She has no free will. >She undid the clasp of her bikini, and threw it to the floor, >as well as her panties. >Jon simply stared. SHION : Were you secretly one of the Puma Sisters? NORIKO : Felicia, what ever possessed you to get a tatto there? MARTA : Alright! Who are you and what have you done with the real Noriko? LING LING : Sit down. >Her breasts were big and beautiful. MARTA: You can say that again. >Her breasts were big and beautiful. MARTA: Hey! MAGIC VOICE: Fooled you. >"Come, make love to me," Felicia said in her most seductive, >sexy, sultry voice. SHION : Kind of direct and to the point isn't she? MARTA: So? It works. NORIKO : Right. MARTA : Come, make love to me. LING LING SHION: I see. Well, if no one figures it out by now, they are blind and deaf. NORIKO : Alright you two, break it up! >It turned Jon on big time. SHION: What? My sister and Ling Ling getting it on? NORIKO >He slowly walked up to her. He began to caress her breasts. >Felicia's only response was to moan in pleasure. >She let out a delighted yelp when Jon took one of her breasts >in his mouth and suckled it, while slowly caressing the other one. ALL : Ahem. >Felicia moaned in ecstasy, but then she remembered something. SHION : Ahhh! I forgot to take the cake out of the oven! >As a wife, she was not the only one who was supposed to >receive such pleasure. ALL: SAYS WHO?!!! >So she retracted her claws and started scratching Jon. NORIKO: That'll leave a mark. >It was a scratch she promised only to use on the one she married. >Whoever felt the scratch would receive pleasure beyond his/her >wildest dreams. LING LING: Uh... did I miss something here? MARTA: What? LING LING: She's going to use this special scratching technique on the one she marries, right? NORIKO: Yes? LING LING: Then what's with the 'his/her' line in the next sentence? >Jon's eyes widened, and he began to growl appreciatively. He >let out a pleasurable gasp when Felicia did this to his entire body. He >was overwhelmed with sensations that he wanted to escalate. SHION : Now watch, the faster we scratch, the more Jon sounds like a motorboat. > His penis popped out of his fur in an erection, ALL: LING LING: Hey, watch where you point that thing! It's loaded! MARTA: Yeah, keep it up and you'll put someone's eye out! >and he slowly, so as not to hurt Felicia, placed >it, inch by inch, into her slowly expanding vagina. >Both of them felt extreme pleasure by this alone. SHION: No shit. >Jon slowly started to move his hips in a rhythmic motion. ALL : "But it's the pelvic thrust, that really drives you insa-a-ane!" >Felicia let out a moan. LING LING: Purrrrrrrrr... MARTA : Please don't do that... here. >"More. Please don't stop," said Felicia. >Jon complied and sped up. >Felicia did the same. They were both >receiving such pleasure that they were sure they were going to ejaculate. MARTA: Eject! Eject! LING LING: No! I can handle it! SHION: Pull up! Pull up! NORIKO : I think you mean 'out'. >They pulled apart just in time, and they did it over the bed. LING LING : And all over the floor too! SHION: He pulled *out*? You idiot! Leave it in there, let it get the job done! >Then, they shared a passionate kiss, pulled the covers over them, >and went to sleep. SHION: What the hell? Wham, bam,thank-you-ma'am!!! *This* is a lemon? MARTA: And they didn't even change the sheets! LING LING: Disgusting! NORIKO: What? Did Koopa write this? MARTA: Reads like it. LING LING: Except this is spelled *way* better than a Koopa story. MAGIC VOICE: Well? ALL: Well what? MAGIC VOICE: Your review? SHION: Well... from a technical point of view, it is probably the most well-written fic we've seen. LING LING: I'll agree. Correct spelling, punctuation, complete sentences... about the only that that fell flat was the dialogue. MARTA: And the sex scene. It was... uhmm... boring. SHION: Agreed. And very strangely written. NORIKO: My thoughts exactly. A lemon story usually focuses on some sex act as the highlight of the fic. Thus, the actual sex scene - or scenes - are usually long, drawn-out, and written *very* descriptively. [Noriko stands up and starts to assume an instructor's pose. She produces a pointer and begins to indicate the TV screen to illustrate certain points in the story.] NORIKO: Note that during the course of the story the author never uses any of the slang that one normally associates with lemon stories. Instead we see the usage of correct and proper terminology; breast, penis, vagina, etc. SHION: So? The writer is literate, is this a crime? NORIKO: Allow me to finish. You see, during the course of this story, the writer inserts several sentences that come across *really* odd considering the context being described. SHION: Examples? NORIKO: Consider the following: "This was to be their first night as a couple, and they wanted to make a good initial impression on each other." and "You realize, of course, that your pretty dress should come off, as well your furry bikini and panties." and "They pulled apart just in time, and they did it over the bed.". Now, consider what is being said here. Felicia and Jon have never slept together before (not to mention the implication that Felicia is still a virgin); Felicia isn't a half-human half-cat creature, but instead a girl wearing a strange furry bikini; and finally, Jon carefully pulls out 'just in time' practicing a nonsensical form of birth control. SHION: Agreed, the whole story seemed to smack of being non-offensive and politically correct. NORIKO: Right and... [her voice trails off as she looks over to where Ling Ling and Marta are sitting, on the far end of the couch, making out passionately. Marta's jacket is mostly unbuttoned and she is currently trying to undo Ling Ling's Hsien-ko outfit.] Do you mind?!! SHION : I really doubt it. Well, let's get out of here, knowing those two they won't come up for air for an hour at least. NORIKO : Someone should hose them down. [Shion and Noriko make their way to the door, while Marta and Ling Ling stretch out on the couch. Shion hits the light switch on the way out.] \ / \ / -- O -- FFIIIIISSHHHH / \ / \ MARTA : Hey... where did everyone go? LING LING : Who cares? "Furry Couple" written by Brad Leifer. No copyright infringement indended by this MSTing, which is for amusement purposes only. Shion Nys & Marta Nys (c) 1997 Michael Surbrook Noriko Kobayashi created by Jeff Mueller, used with permission. Ling Ling Li Copyright (c) 1987-97 by Yuzo Takada. This version was used without permission. MSTed by Michael Surbrook susano@access.digex.net Visit Surbrook's Stuff! A Hero System/Champions source (especially for anime and manga material) at http://www.access.digex.net/~susano/index.html >As a wife, she was not the only one who was supposed to >receive such pleasure.