Dominion Science Theater 3000 "Pokesex" A Dominion/MST3000 Crossover By Oni Satellite Of Love [SOL]: [MIKE Nelson enters the SOL’s bridge. Looks to either side, then over the counter. Ducks under it rising again almost at once. Looks over the counter once more] MIKE [Still looking about. Distracted.]: Um…Hi everybody, I’ll be right with you. [Pauses with a hand on the counter. Scratches his head with the other.] Can’t find Tom or Crow anywhere and the Mads are gonna call any minute. [Rubs his chin with a worried expression] Hope they aren’t trying to moon MIR again… WOMAN’S VOICE [Somewhat upset]: Oh! So there you are! We’ve been looking all over for you! [To MIKE’s Left a WOMAN, very attractive, long dark blonde hair, somewhere in her twenties, slightly MIKE’s height and functioning pair of cat ears atop her head, walks into view. Is dressed in a dark yellow—gold—dyed half top tank top, black suspenders and gold cut off hot pants. A Gold painted umpire’s mask is worn in reverse in her hair. One of WOMAN’s cat ears flick irritably as she halts next to MIKE with a slight heave and bounce. MIKE shies back, Makes an ‘Oh, I get it!’ expression and recovers.] MIKE: Wow Crow, that’s a great costume! You got the ears…[MIKE points to WOMAN’s cat ears standing on his toes and his craning head. Almost touches one. The ear flexes, twitches. MIKE settles on feet again stepping back. Makes a clasping gesture towards WOMAN’s chest with both hands. Stays within his own personal space] …and everything…[readjusts his hands, wiping them off the front of his jumpsuit] WOMAN [Not a disguised Crow]: Gee thanks, [Raises her arms in a lanky, near revealing, stretch] put this together from stuff that was just laying around. Couldn’t stand that stupid jumpsuit. [Gives MIKE an examining, pitying up/down sparking green eyed glance.] No offense. [A pause. She pouts] Who’s Crow…? OTHER WOMAN’s VOICE: Is this that Nelson guy? [OTHER WOMAN enters to MIKE’s right. Twin to WOMAN but has blue eyes. Dressed in formfitting, clinging, red satin French maid’s outfit with a very short ruffled skirt, small white apron and underskirt, white fishnet stockings with black garter. Holding a feather duster behind her back. Her cat ears are turned fully forward.] OTHER WOMAN [Leans close to MIKE who leans away in response] He’s…kinda cute…I guess…[Her ears droop] MIKE [Timidly takes OTHER WOMAN by her shoulders and pushes her back. Chuckles awkwardly] Okay…(heh,heh,heh) You both put in a real effort on your costumes and all, but why don’t you get out of them? The Mads…[Looks behind OTHER WOMAN’s back. Grabs her arm with the hand that’s holding the feather duster. Examines it.] Tom?! How’d you get these hands to work?! [OTHER WOMAN yanks her arm back] OTHER WOMAN [upset]: What do you mean get outta our costumes?! I only said you were kinda cute! [Turns back on MIKE. Ears go flat. Folds arms under her chest giving it a slight heave] What kinda girls do you think we are?! WOMAN [Turns her back on MIKE. Rests hands huffingly on hips]: Yeah! We know you’ve been in space for a long time, but that’s no reason to act ungentlemanly! OTHER WOMAN [Spins back towards MIKE]: And what’s with tryin’ to name us!? I’m Uni! WOMAN [Spins back towards MIKE]: And I’m Anna! MIKE [Tosses his hands up in the air]: Okay guys, I’ll admit you had me fooled for a second or two—and Tom, the working hands are a real nice touch—but enough is enough! I mean, do you really think anyone would think these are…[grabs WOMAN’s top with one hand. Lifts it up. Long pause. MIKE swallows. Blinks. Blinks some more.]…real… [WOMAN’s [ANNA Puma’s] ears go flat. OTHER WOMAN [UNI Puma] Leans over in-between MIKE and ANNA to look at MIKE’s awed face. Her ears perk up] MIKE [Mouth agape. Still blinking. Staring.]: … [ANNA slaps MIKE’s hand away, pulls him close and knees him in the groin. Pushes him away. Pulls her top down as MIKE falls to the ground. Crosses her arms under her chest.] ANNA [Upset]: Real enough for ya?! MIKE: [moans]… UNI [Noticing blinking yellow message light on counter]: Ooo…What does this but-ton do…? [Dusts at it as MIKE’s hand tries to crawl up on the counter. Uni leans close into CAMBOT with her cleavage almost spilling out of her outfit] DEEP 13 LAB [D-13] [Doctor Claton T. FORRESTER leans back from a close-up with a smug smile on his face. Quickly leans back in to stare at the lower view of his screen. Brushes at his mustache. Smiles more] [SOL] [UNI moves back from her close-up. Puts a hand to her maid’s outfit to cover her exposed bosom. Turns her head. Humphs] [D-13] FORRESTER: [Takes a more comfortable distance] Ah Juan, have you noticed the difference yet? Normal morning cup of coffee doesn’t quite have the same kick does it? [tilts his head back with a chuckle. Brushes at his mustache again] [SOL] [MIKE slowly pulls himself up using the counter for support. Glares at ANNA.] MIKE: [voice a little horse and cracked] Crow! What do you think you’re doing?! [ANNA now with hands down sides, kicks at MIKE who painfully manages to stay up] OW! Stop that! ANNA [upset]: What I tell you about the names you jerk! And if you try to grope me again while we’re up here, I’ll make sure you’re a permanent soprano when we leave! MIKE: [Getting to his feet leaning sideways. Rubbing at his leg] Come on Crow, snap out of it! You are not Anna Puma—even if it is an impressive—very impressive!—costume! [ANNA goes to kick MIKE once more] [D-13] FORRESTER: [After an out of view MIKE can be heard saying ‘ow! Crow! OW!’] Now girls, please behave yourselves. You are new here after all and you’re going to need…oh, never mind the teamwork pep talk! I am the evil mad scientist here after all! Anna! Give him a good one for me would you? And Nelson, even a blind amputee stuck in a closet could tell them apart from Joel’s erector set droids! You really haven’t been up there that long? [Pauses. Rubs his hands together. Grins. Leans into the camera] Have you? [SOL] [Half stooping and rubbing his leg, MIKE looks again to ANNA and UNI Puma with pained confusion. Gives ANNA a more wry, passive glance.] MIKE: Well,[eases to his feet yet again] they do look a little too real. ANNA: You better believe it buster! [ANNA puffs up her chest with a bounce] One hundred percent all natural! UNI: [Face beams with a smile. Holds up a finger] Technically speaking of course! We are Bioroids after all. But barring damage, we’ve got all the parts we started with! MIKE: All right. But if you are the real Puma sisters—[takes a defensive posture towards ANNA as she makes to kick him. Adds hurriedly] You are! You are!! [Calms] But what are you doing here? How did you get here? And where’s Tom and Crow? [D-13] FORRESTER: Ah, that’s my que. [Puts his hands together. Paces slowly in a tight circle in view of the camera.] You see Nelson, the male animal is making a resurgence in society. Examples to such can be found in such shows as the Man Show, or the X Show. Television programs spewing nonsense and fossilized pop culture terms as attractive and scantily clad vixens prance about and bounce on trampolines keeping the male viewer’s short attention span. So to capitalize on this— [SOL] MIKE [Sneezing]: R-R-Rip-off! [D-13] FORRESTER [Stops pacing. Pauses. Gives the camera a mean look with a raised eyebrow]: As-I-was-saying [Further warning look before edging back] to capitalize on this, and after long and painstaking research and analysis, I have concluded that a little…[leans in twiddling his fingers] cheesecake is just what my experiment needed! And who better than the famed Puma sisters to even better appeal to all the little Otakus out there…Hmmm… [SOL] [The Puma sisters give each other confused sidelong glances.] UNI: What you talkin’ bout Mister Wizard?! ANNA: Yeah. We broke into your lab trying to get away from Liona and told you if you didn’t hide us we’d smash your face in! [D-13] FORRESTER [Smugly]: Ah! But you were only falling into my clever little stratagem! [SOL] ANNA [Crossing her arms and cocking her hips]: And did that include whimpering like a little baby begging us not to pop you one? UNI [Waving her feather duster]: And wetting yourself? Hey! Just because I’m dressed as a maid, don’t expect me to— [D-13] FORRESTER [Embarrassed. Hurriedly]: And now that the introductions are done lets— [SOL] MIKE [Angrily]: Hold it Forrester! Girls, you don’t understand— UNI: What? That Forrester’s a wimp? ANNA: He forgot to put on his Depends today? MIKE: No!…Well, yes…But he’s also— UNI: Incompetent? ANNA: Inept? UNI: …Interchangeable? MIKE: Maybe you do know him? [D-13] FORRESTER [Peeved]: So glad you’ve settled in so quickly girls! Your first—and last—experiment is entitled— [TV’s Frank enters into view carrying a large Fedex box interrupting FORRESTER. Puts the box on the floor and begins to open it. Back to the camera, but it’s easy to see he’s very excited.] TV’s FRANK [Excited]: They’re here! They’re here! I had to put up a really high bid, but I got them! [Begins opening the box. Turns slightly with an excused expression] By the way Doctor F [says quickly and embarrassingly], could I talk to you about advancing me, oh…eight hundred thousand one dollars? FORRESTER [Looks worried. Slightly blocks the view to the SOL with his body] Frank!? What are you doing here?! Thought I gave you the day off?! TV’s FRANK [Partly turns around. Laughs lightly] You!? Give me the day off? Oh that’s a good one Doctor F! [Gives a bland chuckle and makes a dismissive wave before he gets to his feet] Besides, I know how mad you are at me for letting the Puma Twins into the lab—Oh, that reminds me, I tried and tried, but I couldn’t get those stains out of your— FORRESTER [Hurriedly giving the camera a shamed, angry scowl] That’s quite all right Frank! [SOL] ANNA [Striking a shy pose. Blushing. Speaking softly] Ah…ah…hi Frank…[UNI looks to her sister in disbelief. Rolls her eyes as the other gives a timid, hopeful wave] [D-13] TV’s FRANK [Puzzled sidelong expression as he pauses in scooping out packing corn from the opened box]: What was that? FORRESTER [Blocking more of the view to the SOL]: Oh, just Nelson. [Puzzled] What was that about needing an advance?! TV’s FRANK [As a muffled ‘Pi-ka-pi’ can be heard coming from the box]: I mean, I don’t believe this! First, the famous Puma Twins break into our lab—God, that Anna was such a fox— [SOL] ANNA [Hiding her cheeks with her hands] R-R-Really?! [Face going bright red, she ducks under the counter] Oh God! [D-13] TV’s FRANK: Yeah really—and now I’ve got my very own— [He lifts a cage out of one half of the box amid a rain of corn] HEY! [In the cage is the very familiar form of CROW T. Robot with little yellow triangular cardboard ears glued to his head. Red dots on his cheeks. Another piece of cardboard has been stuck to the tip of his nose with squiggles drawn on it to make it look like a gerbil’s snout and mouth. A black tipped tail shaped in the from of a lightning bolt has also been attached to his backside. The casing of his main body sports several black triangular stripes] CROW [Trying to look zombafingly cheerful and cute. Hardly pulling it off]: PI-KA-CHU! [SOL] MIKE: Well, at least we know what happened to Crow. [Leans into CAMBOT] Crow, where’s Tom? And how’d you get down there?! [D-13] CROW [As TV’s FRANK stands with him looking confused and upset]: PI-KA…O-Oh hi Mike! How’s it going? Love to trade places with you—God how I’d love to trade places with you—but we really didn’t have a choice. The girls just showed up last night in the supply shuttle— [SOL] MIKE [Looking surprised and betrayed] Supply Shuttle?! [D-13] CROW: Yeah, the supply shuttle. The one that comes by once a month when you’re asleep—don’t you know anything?! But anyway—the girls come up and the next thing we know we’re on sale on Ebay getting passed off as knock-offs…oh and Claton, I don’t mean to complain or anything, but I think I would’ve made a better Mankey or a Hitmonlee. VOICE OF TOM FROM BOX [Muffled. Box shakes angrily]: And I could’ve been a Squirtle or a Clefairy. Maybe even a Vileplume or Togepi—I would’a been a great Togepi! But noooo…I hust had to be this stupid Pokemon! CROW: On come on! That’s gotta be the coolest one yet! VOICE OF TOM FROM BOX [Muffled. Box shakes angrily]: Well if you think so, why’d don’t we switch? CROW: Because I’d look like a dork! VOICE OF TOM FROM BOX [Muffled. Box shakes angrily]: Oh! But it’s all right if I look like a dork?! CROW: Tom my man, you can’t improve on perfection! VOICE OF TOM FROM BOX [Muffled, but sounding calmer] Really? [Pause] HEY!! [Box shakes violently] TV’s FRANK [At last looks to the SOL monitor edging away FORRESTER]: Ah…Uni?! Doctor F said you and Anna left after he spilled that dye on his pants. VOICE OF TOM FROM BOX: [Muffled]: Oh you wish it were dye? Don’t you girlie-man? [FORRESTER kicks the box] ow! [SOL] [ANNA timidly raises out of hiding as UNI shakes her head and rolls her eyes. Anna puts her hands behind her back striking a innocent heaving pose] Anna [Shyly]: Ah…hi Frank. Do you really think I’m a fox? [D-13] VOICE OF CROW [As TV’s FRANK drops him to the floor with mouth hanging open. There’s an out of view crash]: OW! [SOL] ANNA [Timid]: Do-do you like my outfit? I made it just for you. [She takes several deep breaths looking away in a blush] UNI [Upset and pouting]: God, I don’t even know what you see in that little dilweed! [She turns away in a huff giving a shapely side profile] MIKE [Gives both Pumas a cautious look over with a neutral, blank expression. Folds his arms over his chest before looking to the Mads. Raises a hand to his mouth tracing a pondering finger across his lower lip]: [Mouths] Thank you. [D-13] CROW [Free from his cage with head popping into view as he looks to the SOL] : Gosh Frank, I really think Anna Puma likes you—but Uni hates your guts. Twins…go figure. And don’t you have a thing for them as well? To think, you had her right in this very lab before Forrester tricked them both into going up and taking our place in revenge for his lost pride and manhood—not that he had any to start with mind you. Must have been pretty depressed when he flat out lied and told you they left till tou thought you were getting some real Pokemon. [Makes a smacking sound with his mouth] Yeah, yeah, yeah…I bet you must be pretty cheezed at Forrester about now. Not only ruined your big chance with the Pumas, but swindled you on online auctioning. Maybe even rigged the bidding. Boy, you probably wanna rip his guts out and feed them back to him…yeah, yeah, yeah… [TV’s FRANK slowly looks from the camera to FORRESTER. A murderous rage replacing his stunned features. FORRESTER’s posture turns cowering and cautious as he glances to TV’s FRANK. Inches back as the other inches towards him. Then looking to the box, FORRESTER quickly drives his hands inside it as TV’s FRANK makes to rush him. Confronts his lab assistant with a Porygon-disguised TOM Servo holding the caged bot at arms length while tightly shutting his own eyes] FORRESTER: Porygon—do that…blinking thing! [TV’s FRANK goes down in an epileptic fit amid a red flashing burst of light] TOM: Say, maybe this is pretty cool!? [Explodes into another burst of flashing light as a blind FORRESTER feels for the box. Buries TOM back into it. Closes it before opening his eyes. TV’s FRANK threatens to trip him with his ongoing involuntary spasms] FORRESTER [Standing up and brushing off his lab coat]: Sacrifices in the name of science and all that Frank! Oh don’t worry [nudges his assistant out of the way with a shoe], I’ll give them both to you [Pauses] after I’m done with them of course! [Looks lecherously with a smile to the camera while rubbing his hands together] [SOL] [ANNA, MIKE and UNI each have their hands up covering their eyes. ANNA is the first to take a cautious peek. Leans forward in a cross pout as MIKE and UNI lower their hands as well] ANNA: Hey! What did you do to Frank?! UNI: The same thing NHK did to a couple ‘a hundred of it’s viewers and put the dumb show on the map? MIKE [Looking from one sister to the other with a serious tone] Girls, this is no laughing matter! Forrester is an evil mad scientist bent on world domination! He tries to break our wills with really bad fan fiction stories and movies! Pure mind rot! It’s going to be rough, but with my help [He wraps one arm about UNI’s waist, holds ANNA to him as well as he strikes a manly pose] I’ll make sure we all get through— [Both Pumas elbow him in the ribs. MIKE bends over releasing them to favor his sides] [whining] ow…hey come on…I bruise easily… ANNA: Try that again and you’ll be a bruise! UNI: Yeah! And we can take care of ourselves—in more ways than one! ANNA: Yeah, I hope you like cold showers! And we’ve seen plenty of bad movies! Read even worse stories! [D-13] FORRESTER: Well, I hope you like this little bit of fan worship, it’s even keeping with our theme. It’s entitled, ‘Pokesex’. CROW [Jumping up and down excitedly]: Oo-Oo! Let me send it to them! [SOL] MIKE: CROW?! [D-13} CROW: Oh come on Nelson! Don’t tell me you never wanted to be on the other end, poised to turn you fellow man into a blubbering heap? [He hits the button before FORRESTER can do or say a thing] [SOL] ANNA [Panicked as warning bells and horns sound and the lights turn on and off] Ah-hey!! UNI [Worried]: I knew this piece of junk was falling apart! MIKE: It’s Movie Sign! I’ll explain on the way! [MIKE, ANNA & UNI enter the theater after passing the many vault-like doors and a quick explanation. ANNA takes crow’s seat, MIKE his usual and UNI Servo’s] >> PokeSex UNI: Don’t you generally have to poke something anyway? >> by Mysterious Author MIKE: Translation: Warning! The following is so bad, even Allen Smithy refused to lend his name! >> It was nigthfall. There was unknown terrian out there, and Hip wanted to >> explore it. UNI: Yes. The very thing to do at night when you don’t know your way around: Go exploring! Boy, this Hip guy is a true adventurer! ANNA: Hold it?! Who’s Hip? Some new Pokemon? The writer self-inserting himself? UNI: Well, with a title like ‘PokeSex’, you know something is gonna get inserted… MIKE: …Uni…! UNI: What? MIKE: Watch it please? UNI: It’s a fan fiction. How am I suppose to watch it? And we’re suppose to talk right? MIKE: Just be careful of what you say? All right? UNI: Boy! Like the other guys never said things like that! >> Hop, Hip's twin brother, ANNA: Second new character from out of nowhere. At least they’re a set! UNI: Looks like Forrester picked this story just for us Anna. I feel so welcome! >> had rejected, but had no choice for Hip clobbered Hop and knocked him out, >> and Hip dragged Hop away with him. MIKE: Guess we know who the dominant one is. UNI [As Hip]: Com’on Hop, I can’t see a thing, we’ve already been hiking all day and I can’t find any reason why we’re in this Pokemon story! Lets go out into the woods!! ANNA [As Hop]: But Hip, don’t you think that would be a really dumb excuse to take us out of the story? We just got here and should be described better. Expanded as characters. UNI [As Hip]: I got your character expansion right here—BOOT TO THE HEAD!! >> Brock decided to follow, for Hip gave him a stern look. UNI [As Hip]: Okay Brock! Come along peacefully, or you’ll get more of the same! MIKE [As Brock]: Well, since you put it so nicely. Wait! I think he’s dead! You’ve killed him! UNI [As Hip]: So? Help me drag the body—or else! >> Hip left Ash and Misty, for they were sleeping. ANNA: And thus escape Hip’s psychotic rage! MIKE [As Brock as he drags away Hop’s body]: I knew we shouldn’t have tried to replace Team Rocket! UNI [As Hip]: We’ll come back for them later! >> Ash woke up and looked around, but could'nt find his friends anywhere. ANNA: ‘Woke up’? HA! He was faking! MIKE: When facing a vicious Hip in the forest, it’s best to just play dead. >> Ash just sighed, UNI [As Ash]: Boy! That was a close one! Thought Hip was going to get us for sure! Pity about Brock, but oh well! >> and sat down. ANNA: He was parenting to be asleep standing up?! MIKE: Fortunately, the dangerous Hip can be easily fooled. ANNA: Ohhh… >> He looked at Misty, MIKE: Who sadly, wasn’t pretending… UNI [As Ash]: Stupid girl, I told her not to feed the Hips. But would she listen? Nooo… >> and sighed loveingly. ANNA [As Ash]: Now I can have all her Pokemon! And Brock’s too! >> Ash, with nothing to do, pulled down his pajama shorts and started >> masterbating. UNI [As Ash]: Boy, thinking about all these Pokemon, I just can’t help myself! ANNA [As Ash]: Yeah! Gotta Poke ‘em all! MIKE: …Anna…! ANNA: What?! UNI: Someone’s got a hang up about girl talk I see. >> He stroked his cock with his fist up and down, up and down. ANNA: I guess we can’t say anything about him choking his chicken? MIKE: No you can—HEY! UNI: Mike’s right on this one Anna. That’s way outta line. MIKE: Thanks Uni. UNI: Besides, this is the Pokemon world remember? Doduos and Dodrios replaced chickens. We’re talkin’ two fisted action at the least! MIKE: Girls?!? ANNA & UNI: Sorry Mike… >> He let out a soft moan and came a little bit. Pikachu, hearing >> it's master's soft moan, perked it's ears up and sat up. MIKE: Fearing for Ash in the wake of Hip’s bloody attack, Pikachu stirs only to receive a bigger shock! ANNA & UNI: …Mike…! MIKE: What? >> "Pi?" Pikachu said, a little tired. "Pikapi?" ANNA [As Pikachu]: Is that a Diglet in your pants, or are you just happy to see me? UNI: [As Ash]: No, this is my new Doduo and I’m just— MIKE: Uni… UNI: Geez…! >> 'Oh great,' Ash thought, 'Pikachu heard me!' Pikachu stood up and walked >> towards Ash, and shook it's head. Pikachu then saw Ash's dick, and it's >> eyes went wide and it looked up at Ash. "Pika-chu? Pika Pi Pi Chu?" ANNA [As Pikachu] Ash! How could you?! Misty and Hop killed by Hip and Brock, and all you can think of is putting a Diglet in your pants! I’m so ashamed to be your Pokemon! >> "Yes, Pikachu. This is a cock." Ash said. MIKE [As Ash]: Not to be confused with a Doduo… UNI: Ooo…someone’s loosening up. You go Nelson! >> Pikachu let out a "Pi!" and reached down where it's private was supposed to >> be. MIKE: Not to be confused with it’s corporal… UNI: Mike! ANNA: Ew… Nelson, save the stinkers for the bathroom okay? MIKE: Sorry… >> It unzipped something with it's maple like hands, and then pulled something >> out. It's dick was a sight to behold. ANNA: Forget that! Explain the zipper?! UNI: That short guy from Austin Powers is showing up all over the place! MIKE: You’d think Pikachu would be too small a part for him? >> It was big, and long, and had a hideous purple head. "Pikapi?" Pikachu asked, >> pointing down at it's cock. UNI [As Pikachu with an Australian accent]: You call that a Doduo mate? This is a Doduo! >> "Yes." Ash said. He did'nt know Pikachu was of the male gender. Pikachu >> looked down at his manhood and smiled. "Pika!" He went. MIKE: Shouldn’t that be ‘Pika-hood’? ANNA: I’ll allow it! >> "Ohhh." Misty groaned, having heard the entire conversation between the >> boy and his Pokemon. She turned around sleepily, and saw Ash and Pikachu >> talking, and she saw both of thier cocks. MIKE [As Misty]: Is Hip gone yet? Saaay…where did those Doduo come from? >> Ash and Pikachu looked at Misty. UNI [As Ash]: Damn! This means I don’t get her Pokemon! ANNA [As Pikachu]: One good thunder shock should finish her off boss! We could always blame Hip! >> "Misty, uhm...uh...hi...." He started. Misty silenced him, and got out >> of her sleeping bag. Ash's and Pikachu's eyes went WIDE as they relized >> she was sleeping without panties on. UNI: Okay, that’s it! I know we’ve been ignoring the others, but ‘relized’?! MIKE: Guys, trust me on this, the stories get bad enough without examining things like syntax and spelling. Just keep going. We’re almost done with this one and you’ve both been doing great for your first time out. ANNA: Yeah, come on Sis! This is easy! >> She took off her shirt and sat down next to Ash. She looked at him lovingly and >> said nothing as her hand went down and carrased his dick. Pikachu went over >> and Misty started petting him, and carrasing his dick as well. MIKE: Whole lot of ‘carrassing’ going on. ANNA: Tragically for both Misty and Ash, when she ‘carrassed’ Pikachu’s Pika-hood, it released all of his electrical power. >> Ash kissed Misty and licked her breasts, and her nipples hardered, she kissed >> his head, then licked his chest after he was done. UNI: Yes Ash was done. He was well done! >> She wrapped her legs around Ash's body, and Ash pushed a little upwards, his >> dick entering Misty's thight, virgin pussy. Pikachu smiled, and entered Misty >> from the rear. UNI [As Pikachu]: Say misty, you’ve got a zipper back here! Let see—Smurfette?! >> Misty pumped herself up and down, Ash and Pikachu keeping up the beat. ANNA: Uh…are they having sex, or doing interpretive dancing? >> She moaned, as she was about to orgasm, MIKE: As shown by her active tossing of her many scarves! >> and Pikachu licked Misty's asschecks and back. ANNA: Wow, I knew Misty was the most responsible one in the group, but a kid Misty’s age with a checkbook? MIKE: Can’t be that responsible. Not if she has them in the shape of a donkey… UNI [As Misty]: Hey Pikachu! Stop licking the back of my asschecks and get back to your drum! >> Ash kissed Misty and played with her mouth and tounge, while he moaned. UNI [As Misty]: And you, you little creep! Stop trying to use my mouth as a guitar! MIKE: From the same people who brought you Stretch Armstrong, it’s Streeeetch Misty! >> Simotanously, Ash and Pikachu exploded their loads into Misty, while she >> spasmed. ANNA [As Misty]: Geez guys! If you didn’t like my dancing why didn’t you say so?! What you have for lunch anyway?! UNI: And where the Indian come from? MIKE: Indian?! UNI: Yeah, that Simo guy that showed up as Ash and Pikachu were loosing their lunch! MIKE…Uni… UNI:…Mike… >> They all fell to a heap to the ground and fell asleep. ANNA: So, they’ve been in a car all this time?! A pile of leaves?! UNI: Maybe that’s how Hip missed them. But now that they’ve made out…well, we all know what happens to kids who make out in slasher films! >> They were exaushted, and Ash wondered what he would do when Hip, Hop, >> and Brock returned, but for now, he just sighed as he slept, soaked and still >> inside Misty. MIKE [Announcer voice]: Sadly, it is speculated that attracted by Misty’s interpretive dance, the murderous Hip—after hiding the body of his brother and killing Brock—then returned. Finding Ash, Misty and Pikachu in the abandoned car. Their bodies never found, only this fan fiction— ANNA [Coping MIKE]:—A pile of stones and a set of crude twig dolls— UNI [Coping MIKE]:—Found in the corner of a basement of an abandoned house in the Blair woods— MIKE [Announcer voice]:—serves as the only evidence of the fate of the young campers… >> END MIKE, ANNA & UNI: This has been Unsolved Mysteries! UNI: I am your host, Robert Stack! >> Well, how did you like this story? ANNA: For some reason, Mysterious Writer who gave no replying address, I have a feeling you already know… UNI: [As Robert Stack]: If you know of the identity or the whereabouts of the Mysterious Writer…please tell Hip! MIKE: Perhaps this was Hip’s way of confessing? >> I liked it, and had some fun while making it too. UNI: No Mike, I really don’t think so. In fact, I’m sensing some Doduo petting action here! [ANNA, MIKE and UNI get up and make to leave.] >> I just love hentai. ANNA: Pity you don’t have an affection for seppuku… MIKE: Anna! ANNA: Mike! [They leave the theater and the vault doors close behind them] [SOL Bridge] [UNI and ANNA walk into CAMBOT’s view with UNI leading. Both now dressed in full body toddler pajamas. ANNA gives her sister a teasing poke. UNI pouts.] ANNA: You are such a baby! UNI [Turns around poking back.]: Are not! ANNA: Are too! The story was almost over, and you were so about to lose it! [Pokes her sister again.] UNI: Were not!! ANNA: Were too!! Big baby! [ANNA pokes UNI a third time.] UNI [making to cry, she pokes ANNA back]: Ooo…I am not! Mike! Anna’s calling me a baby! Make her stop! [ANNA pokes UNI and she pokes back. A minor poking fight ensues.] [MIKE walks into view and between the quarreling sisters breaking up the fight. Is dressed in a plain white cotton short sleeve shirt and dark slacks. A 50’s TV Dad complete with smoking pipe in his mouth and unfolded newspaper in both hands. Easily folds up newspaper putting it under his arm as he plucks pipe from his mouth. MIKE: Whoa…now what’s this? My two little princesses fighting? [Puts pipe back in his mouth.] UNI [Doing a pouting, twisting, fidget]: Anna’s callin’ me a baby! [UNI sucks her thumb. Suddenly has a teddy bear in her other hand which she hugs.] ANNA: She was going to start crying over that stupid fan fic! [She leans over to poke UNI] UNI: Ow! [whines] MIKE! MIKE [Jovial chuckle as he adjust his pipe.]: Now Anna, it’s not right to tease your sister like that. And that was a pretty bad story. Wasn’t it Anna? ANNA: Well, yeah… MIKE [Striking a thoughtful pose.] Why, I can remember many a story that left me weeping. ANNA: Really Mike? A story’s been so bad it left you in tears? MIKE: Of course! There’s nothing wrong with a little cry now and then. UNI [Snapping out of her pout.] Told you he was a whimp! [Pokes Mike.] MIKE [Whining.]: Ow! Uni! [ANNA pokes him on the other side.] Ow! Anna! ANNA: Oh shut up you big baby! [Snatches his pipe. Pokes him with it] UNI: And you better not be a smoker! [Pokes him] MIKE [Twisting as he tries to defend himself from ANNA’s and UNI’s constant poking] Ow! Guys com’on! Ow! Guys! Stop-stop it! Ow! Ow! Gypsy! The girls are—Ow!—the girls are picking on me again! Oww…[Starts to cry] [GYPSY Pops into view to ANNA’s right. A yellow apron tied to her umbilical cable. ‘PIYO, PIYO’ is labeled at it’s sides.] GYPSY: Now girls, behave… ANNA & UNI [Striking timid, bashful poses]: Yes Gypsy… GYPSY: That’s my little princesses. Now come along. Let’s get you in the tub, then off to bed. I’ll even read you your favorite bedtime story! ANNA & UNI [Cheering. Hopping up and down as they move over to GYPSY]: YEA!!! GYPSY!!!! MIKE [Rubbing his sides]: Gypsy! What about me?! I wanna a bath too! [ANNA, UNI & GYPSY give MIKE a mean look] MIKE [Shying away]: I’ll take a shower. A nice cold, freezing shower… [ANNA, UNI & GYPSY leave going right, but not before UNI pokes MIKE one last time giving him a mean look] ANNA’s VOICE [Fading]: God! What a day! I’m gonna soak all night! I just feel dirty all over! Uni? Could you suds me up? UNI’s VOICE [Fading]: Only if you do me! And we can both do Gypsy! GYPSY’s VOICE [Fading]: W-What? I-I don’t know? I’ve never… UNI’s VIOCE [Fading]: Oh, come on! We’re all girls here—You don’t mind if we sleep in the nude do you? ANNA’s VOICE [Fading]: So Gypsy…You like women prison movies…? GYPSY’s VOICE [Fading]: Oh my… [MIKE watches them go with a blank face rubbing his side. Looks to CAMBOT. Shrugs, pouts and walks out of view of CAMBOT going left] [D-13} [FORROSTER and TV’s FRANK are looking at the camera while TOM & CROW are way off in the background caught in the glow of a TV. Piles of Pizza boxes, popcorn and soda cans surround them. FORRESTER looks somewhat reserved while TV’s FRANK is a rigid pose of barely checked rage] FORRESTER: Well, that should be a good ratings booster I should think! Pity we don’t have a bath cam. Oh well. Push the button Frank! [TV’s FRANK’s eyes move in the direction of FORRESTER while the rest of him is ominously motionless. He can be heard breathing] FORRESTER: You’re still not upset are you? We’ll get them next time. Now, push the button. [TV’s FRANK stares sidelong at FORRESTER. His body seems to be trembling in fury] FORRESTER: Oh! Like your chances are any better than his! So what if one of them wanted to cook for you? She wanted her sister to do it for her! TV’s FRANK [Growling]: What? FORRESTER: Right before they went up, one of them was trying to get the other to make a sandwich for you or something. I overheard them. TV’s FRANK: Was that for…or with? [FORRESTER opens his mouth, then shuts it covering it with a hand. TV’s FRANK is now visibly trembling with fury. Breathing heavily.] FORRESTER: … TV’s FRANK: … FORRESTER: …? TV’s FRANK: …!!! [His eyes are rolling into his sockets] [FORRESTER leans away from TV’s FRANK. Collects himself, then reaches for the button on TV’s FRANK side of the controls. He hits it as TV’s FRANK bursts into motion with a sissy punch to FORRESTER’s arm. The screen goes black.] FORRESTER’s VOICE [Whining]: Oww!