~~We got Disclaimer sign!~~ The characters following in this MSTing are (c) their respective companies (Sega, Squaresoft, and Namco) 1999 or earlier, seeing as later would be a product of an Infinite Improbability Drive ((c) 1980 Douglas Adams). The idea of Mystery Science Theater 3000, the "WE GOT (whatever) SIGN!" line, the initials MST3K, and the "riffing" business is (c) Best Brains Inc., date currently unknown. The "Mystery Stupidass Fanfic Theater 4200" concept is (c) 1999 Swordian Master Bryann (also known as Ashton or Brian Porbansky). The original work, (Pokemon: A New Experience!), is (c) 1998, written by Anime-X (e-mail kept anonymous at request of author). I am not responsible for any mental or physical anguish, including but not limited to paper cuts and/or insanity which may occur from reading, using, downloading, or anything otherwise involving this fanfiction and/or MST. Pokemon and all related characters/creations are (c) 1996 and on, GameFreak/4 Kids/Nintendo. THIS MST AND STORY ARE COPYRIGHTED WORKS! Please please please please please do not just put your name on it and call it yours, or else I shall sent Vito to break your kneecaps. Alterations and parodies are welcome and encouraged *as long as you give me and the original author credit for the story.* This MST was written under the assumption that any information not in the original story or in the anime it is based on is not available to the characters doing the riffs. No insult or injury is intended, just plenty of harmless C&C. The concept for MSFT4200 and its writing style is loosely inspired by Chibi-Chan's own MSTings, read them too, they're great! Also, do not complain that I use the word "prolly". You will be viewed as overly picky and properly counter-flamed and smited. Pardon any stupidity in this MST. If you would like to see my first MST, it's at: http://members.xoom.com/DADYTENGU/BryMST/ashcurious.txt. I believe my first MST was a little too...disgusting for SVAM to post, yet I may (at a later date) submit a more censored version. I may also turn into Boo, the world's only miniature giant space hamster. In other words, don't wait for a postable version, Shinji. Thank you and enjoy your reading. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~Theme Song. PH34R IT.~~ In the not so distant future, Was prolly sometime next week... MST was gettin cancelled again, To the dismay of this avatarish freak. I couldn't take his bitching anymore, Constantly, twenty-four seven or more.. He was doing it nonstop now.. So I shut him up, shoved him out and shot him into space.. (Bryann: Get me down from here!!) (Dakal) I'll send him crappy fanfics, The worst I can find! (La la la!) He'll have to sit and read them all! As I quietly fry his mind! (La la la!) Now keep in mind he can't control Where this crap begins or ends. (La la la!) In order to keep me somewhat sane, I'll send up some more friends! MiSTer ROLL CALL! Bryann! (Jo'o-sama!) Olan! (Do androids dream of electric sheep, or just of early retirement?) Peter! (Harpy Ooze - for when you and your lover can't get it to fit.) Arrrrrrrche!! (Sore wa himitsu desu!) If you're wondering why they just can't leave And other stupid crap, Just think to yourself, "It's just a MiST, I should really just relax" For "Mystery Stupidass Fanfic Theater 4200"! *Twang!* ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Bryann took another sip of his triple mocha latte, just reveling in his freedom. Sun, beach, anime women with plenty of Gainax Bounce (tm), this place had it all. As he kicked back in his hammock, he wondered how he got to be here... I mean, was it REALLY neccesary for the rest of his teammates and co-MSTies to shove him out through the airlock? I mean, pure luck alone is what got him here from that far into space... even though how he actually DID get here, he had no idea. For all he knew, this was Heaven itself. He noticed he had just drank all his coffee in distraction. Oh, well, easy remedy to that - Bryann whistled at a volume loud enough to shatter glass. As if on cue, Shampoo bounded across the sand in the avatar's direction, stopping long enough to glomp onto him, nearly making his eyes pop out of his skull from both force and view. But it was a good type of pop, yanno? "Bryann-husband want Shampoo? Maybe want star in lemon?" Ah, that's what he liked about Shampoo...straight and to the point, but still ready to kick your ass if you pissed her off. But it was a good type of ass-kicking, yanno? Ah, but his thoughts were starting to trail again. Too much Gainax Bounce can do that to you... For a second, he could have sworn he heard Shampoo call him "baka". Indeed, it seemed Shampoo's voice was changing to one not unlike Ruri's from the Nadesico series. "Baka, come on! We need you out here!" Pardon? Then Shampoo's voice changed again, to a voice one could only attribute to the greatness that was Yasunori Matsumoto. "Come on, you stupid fanboy, we can't start this without you!" Okay... just had too many mocha lattes. It'd wear off after time. Once again a change, this time one similar to Crow from the classic MST3K episodes, with a bit of dubbed Happosai mixed in. "Damn it, Bryann, we know you're in there!" Hmm. That was it - heatstroke. He was just going insane, was all. No big. And it changed back to the Gourry-ish voice. "That's it... we tried to talk you out of this sensibly... Hoca, end program, critical restart." Then there was nothing. Well, except for Bryann, one very upset fanboy. And a dull grey room, out of which a door opened, and in walked his co-MSTies... Arche, Olan, and that blasted phoenix, Peter. Arche picked him up and slapped him a few times. "Baka, baka, BAKA! How many times have we told you not to run that program?! You get stuck in it too well. Dakal and crew have been calling for the PAST HOUR!" Arche scorned Bryann. Bryann rolled his eyes. "Whatever." He then proceeded to...you guessed it... take a sip of his drink. The other three test-subjects stormed out of the room. Bryann quickly rushed out after them and ran straight into the IFN light. ~~~Meanwhile, in the InterFanfictional Nexus...~~~ Dakal paced back and forth. What was taking those four so damn long to respond? After making him wait this long, he'd better see them ready to grovel at his feet. It was then he saw a little red light flash - those idiots had finally answered his call. He tapped the light and glared at the viewscreen. "About time you answered, my little delusional guinea pigeons. I've gotten Klarth and Mustadio out of the way, so that it's just you four, me, and this little insanity I have in my hands here." On the other side, in the Satellite of Spam, Olan blinked in surprise. "You mean no invention exchange?" He then quickly hid the Anti-Self-Inserter for another day. "I'm afraid not, boobies. You see, today's torture isn't just in the story, but in your guest. I hope you can handle Perfect Blue and End of Evangelion... because this isn't nearly as senseless as either." Dakal then proceeded to type something in a keyboard, and sent off the monolithic transport tube. The tube appeared on the bridge of the SoS, complete with Spielbergian special effects. The door slid open, and out stepped a young man, probably somewhere around the age of 16, with brown hair in a jumbled mess. A pair of glasses covered up his perfectly brown eyes, and it was fairly obvious by the Levi's jeans and the Kodomo no Omocha shirt that he's a long, LONG way from home. The man blinked a few times, looked around, and sweatdropped. Quite surprised that he even COULD sweatdrop, he blinked a few more times, cleaned his glasses, thinking the problem could be in there, somewhere, and then facefaulted when he realized that he was really was where he was. He opened his mouth to say one thing... "This isn't happening. It only THINKS it's happening, right?!" The man looked around hopefully. The 4 MSTers only shrugged. "Shit. That means... dear God, it can't be. This is just a dream, it has to be... what I get for eating cold pizza while watching Tron..." Olan rolled his eyes. "Sorry, Flynn, this is real here." The startled teenager quickly regained composure, and looked to the viewscreen, obviously pissed. "Okay, Whitelancer, I don't know how you got me here, but when I get back you will have HELL to pay. Got it?!" The other 4 MSTers merely blinked. "Allow me to explain, my little guinea pigeons. For today's fic, I do believe I have gotten you to meet your maker... and, I was right. He's right there in front of you." Dakal said, cockily. "NANI?! You mean..this...is OUR author?" Bryann sweatdropped and proceeded to go into SD-Fanboy-Chaos mode. Luckily his panicking was stopped short by his author's fist. Dakal laughed. "Oh, yes, this will be one for the books, all right. And, may I present for your approval today's fanfic. A bit of a WAFF lemon, or at least I think that's what it wants to be. Anyways, it's coming right up. May your day be long and stupid!" He then pushed the button and proceeded to send the fic. On the bridge of the Satellite of Spam, you guessed it - lights, klaxons, the whole nine yards. "Shit. Guess I'm stuck here for now, so, I assume we have kinky sign?" the author concluded as he took his four characters with him into the theater... [Door 7: Dog Bone, as usual. Duh!] [Door 6: It's yahoo.com. After making various name jokes and finding useless crap on it, you proceed to move on.] [Door 5: It's a giant plush Desolation. It gets randomly smited and you move on.] [Door 4: The Drawbridge lands only millimeters from your feet. It lands on Bryann, however. After peeling him off the ground with a spatula, you move on.] [Door 3: The entire cast of Slayers is here. Arche glomps onto Zelgadis, Bryann glomps onto Filia, (Author: That boy always had wierd tastes. Dunno why he doesn't see how much better Lina is.) and you move on after prying them both off.] [Door 2: After moving far out of the range of an oncoming Dragon Slave from Door 3, the door is completely safe] [Door 1: Do you really expect a door to be standing after one of Lina's Dragon Slaves? Move along, people, nothing to see here.] [Door .42: You open a hatch and go into the horrors beyond.] Bryann: So... uh... Olan: For sake of transcribing, what do we call you? Author: Well... I'd say "Bryann", but my avatar already has that name, and that'd get confusing. So for now, just record me as "SMB". Aight? Bryann: Uh... > Hey there, SMB: o/~ You're an all-star/get your game on/go play o/~ > I’m studying to be writer, so I must try every form of stories ever > made. Olan: All rightie... how about... ancient epic. SMB: And hence Odysseus took his mighty phallus and struck Grendel dead... Olan: And... self-insertion. Bryann: [nameless author avatar] I OWN YOU ALL! YOU WILL ALL FALL BEFORE MY ALMIGHTY AURA OF SMOOTH! Olan: WAFF? Arche: [Ranma] Ucchan, when I say you're kawaii, I mean it from the inside out, no matter what you wear... Olan: Darkfic? Peter: [Nav] And so I kicked Sailor Moon in the head, until she was dead! Heh. > The only stories I never made up are porn stories. Peter: "Porn stories" are what you send into Hustler, my dear author. These are "lemons". Arche: And since when were you such a conniseur, bird-boy? Peter: Sore wa himitsu desu. > Now I’m no expert at > these sort of things (meaning I don’t surf the web for xxx sites), SMB: What's this? Someone who writes fanfics who DOESN'T surf for 'net porn? Impossible. Voice 2: Hey! SMB: *cough*CG Shrines. Voice 2: I USED to! > but I’ll give > it my best. Arche: o/~ I wanna be the very best/like no one ever was o/~ > I won’t have the characters jump on each others at the very > beginning Olan: Pleasant change from the other lemons we've read. SMB: Trust me, not many out there with this much control. > since I like my stories to have some sense. SMB: What's this? A lemon writer who DOESN'T want a PWP lemon? Impossible. Arche: What's this? A MSTer that DOESN'T think outside the stereotypes? Impossible. > I chose to use the Pokemon > characters Bryann: This is going to hurt, isn't it? [SMB nods] Arche: Okay, can we stop with the generalizations now? SMB: So you're saying that a lemon with little kids and overcute animal things _won't_ hurt? Arche: I'm saying we can live through it. Olan: Arche... Sasami and Ryo-Okhi. [Arche shudders] SMB: I thought as much. > since I’m a big fan of the show and the games. You’ll notice that Peter: [author] I'm not wearing any pants! > I > did not give out my e-mail address on this page, Olan: This has got to be the most sensible author we've seen yet... O_o SMB: Bull... AGC, Dimensions... neither of those had e-mail adresses. Bryann: Yeah, but you wrote one of them, so that doesn't count. SMB: Shaddup, avatar-boy. [whaps Bryann] Arche: Actually, didn't you write that, Bryann? Bryann: Oh, sure. Blame the whole mess on me! > well that’s because I don’t > want to be bothered. Arche: Read - He's scared of us flaming him. > This is only for my own personal learning experience. SMB: So he's writing this for a class? Dear god, if I tried writing lemons for my English class I'd get punted out of all the schools in the state... O_o > If my > first erotic story makes an impact, Peter: [author] ...that means you need a life. Bryann: And if it doesn't make an impact? Olan: ...that means you need Viagra. Arche: Yeah, this fic is gonna make an impact... 20 feet into the ground. > then I will be satisfy. Olan: I had a good feeling! > If you want me to > make more stories, just contact Sakura Lemon and if there’s more then 10 > request, I will make another one. All: Uh...okay. Arche: What did he say again? Olan: The words make sense, but the thought isn't working. > Also, English is not my native tongue, SMB: We...kinda suspected as much. > so > there’s bound to be spelling mistakes, live with it ! For now, on with the > Story. Olan: And now for something completely different. Bryann: "Story"? O_o Like Yoshi's Story? Ick... SMB: I think he means more like... o/~ This is, the beginning/the beginning of our Story o/~ > Pokemon, a new experience ! Olan: Star Trek: The Next Generation? Bryann: Love Boat: The New Wave? Peter: [TV Announcer] Now try Pokemon, a brand new experience that is sure to leave your mind floating and your pants squi*WHAP!* SMB: Phoenix wa hentai desu! Baka! > By Anime-X Arche: Speed Racer's long lost brother? > Our heroes are on their way to Cinnabar Island, but before they can get to a > ship deck, Bryann: Or even a shuffleboard deck... Peter: Or even a deck of cards... > they’ll have to make a few stops between towns. Bryann: [Ash] Are we there yet? I haveta go to the bathroooom. SMB: [Brock] Don't MAKE ME turn this car around, young man. Olan: Brock? Driving? Isn't it some sort of traffic hazard to drive with one's eyes permanently closed? > Ash: So Brock, where are we going ? Arche: [Brock] Hell. Here's your handbasket, your pitchfork, and your eternal torment. Bryann: [Ash] POKE-A-MON!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! > Brock: According to the map, we’re heading to a new town called Trainer’s > Dream. Peter: Trainer's Wet Dream, that is. > Misty: Trainer’s Dream, I wonder who came up with such a name ? Olan: Obviously a very horny fanboy. > After 10 minutes, they arrived. SMB: Wow... this is almost as descriptive as Dimensions of Chaos. Bryann: You should know, you wrote it. SMB: Or so you'd like to think. > Ash: Wow, look at all the Pokemon trainers ! SMB: Okay, It's the Pokemon anime. It's SUPPOSED to have Pokemon trainers. > Misty: Never mind the trainers, there’s a fast food restaurant over there ! Arche: Miaka and Misty - seperated at birth? Olan: No.. Miaka's much calmer. > Brock: Great, we haven’t has a decent meal in 2 days ! Olan: [Zombie Brock] Must....eat...proper grammar... Arche: [Zombie Brock] Must...eat...Nurse Joy... SMB: Arche no hentai! O_o > About 20 minutes later. > > Ash: I’m going to battle with those trainers, come on Pikachu ! > Pikachu: Pikachu ! Peter: [Ash] Naw! I was talking about the OTHER Pikachu! Of COURSE I mean you, Pikachu! > Brock: Yikes ! > Misty: What’s wrong Brock ! Arche: [Brock] What's Pikachu doing with the machete and the bib around his neck, Misty...? Bryann: [Misty] Come to think of it, he has been looking at us funny recently... Olan: [Ash] I'll go get the salt and pepper, Pikachu! > Brock: Girls, in that public swimming pool ! Peter: [Brock] Nude! And the pool is filled with whipped cream! Arche: Bzzt. Wrong. That's YOUR pipe dream, not Brock's. SMB: Yeah. Brock practically gets off if he even _sees_ a girl. Olan: That implies Brock can see. > Misty: Brock wait ! Oh well, looks like it’s you and me Togepi. Olan: Seeing as the punctuation has left. > Misty saw a women clothing boutique. Bryann: So it's a boutique that puts clothes on women. SMB: Or one that sells clothes made out of women. Not sure. > Misty: Cool, I’ll check it out. > Misty notice a couple of young guys standing in front of the boutique. Arche: At least, they were young guys underneath all the makeup and the stuffed bras. > Misty: You know, that’s a women boutique. SMB: [Guy, ala Big Gay Al] Of courth we know! It'th jutht that thothe dretheth look tho thuper, don't they? > Guy 1: We know, we’re just waiting for our girlfriends. Bryann: That implies that anyone in the Pokemon world is emotionally connected to anything other than Pokemon. Peter: Bitter much? Bryann: [grumbling] Damn lemons... > Guy 2: Ya, guys aren’t allowed in there ! SMB: [As above] Unleth you want to take fathion tipth from the betht! > Misty: They sure have some beautiful dresses in there. > Guy 1: Humm.. [All hum the MST3K opening song] > Misty: What ? > Guy 1: Uh, nothing. It’s just that when I look at you, I don’t see the kind of > girl who would wear a dress. Olan: Usually, the word "girl" implies that one has breasts or is too young for people to think of that sort of thing. Unfortunately, Misty fits neither of these catagories well. > Misty: You don’t ? > Guy 2: I don’t see a girl at all ! Olan: My point. > Misty: What ! All: What you say! SMB: You DARE accuse the Great Misty of being male?! WA-TAK! > Guy 1: Shut up you idiot ! Forgive my dumb friend here, he’s a real jack ass ! > No but it really doesn’t look like dresses are your stile. Bryann: What do the works of Piers Anthony have to do with Pokemon? Arche: It sounds like these two are really great friends. Olan: Who needs enemies? > The girlfriends came out. Peter: [girlfriends] Sorry, boys, but we've found a whole new world in our pants! Wanna join us at the hotel, Misty? *WHAP!* SMB: Ecchi. > Girls: We’re done ! > Guy 1: Well, nice talking to you. Arche: Well, nice worthless dialogue with you. > Misty looked at her reflection in the window. Peter: [Misty] Funny... those tentacles weren't sneaking up on me before... > Misty: No wonder guys never paid any attention to me, I look like I came from > a circus. Olan: Right down to the trunk and grey skin. > I’m going in ! > Sells Lady: I’m sorry, guys aren’t’ allo... Oh I’m sorry ! I really need to > get these glasses checked ! Olan: And who's selling her? SMB: Forget getting glasses, lady. Misty doesn't even have as much chest as Shinji. Bryann: Nani? O_o > Misty: Do you have anything in blue ? SMB: [Sells Lady] Why yes, we have a copy of Perfect Blue right here, as well as La Blue Girl... Arche: Anime mindfuck and anime mindless-fuck? > Two hours later, Misty walked out of the store wearing a pretty blue dress. > She even took out the elastic to loosen her beautiful short red hair. > Misty: Hey Ash ! > Ash: Excuse me, do I know you ? Olan: No. This Misty has class, fashion sense, and isn't ready to wallop Ash. In other words, completely out of character. Bryann: Geez, Olan... At least Misty has half a brain. Unlike Ash. SMB: And Brock? Arche: Thinks with his pants. > Pikachu: Pikapika > Pikachu jumped in Misty’s arm. All: TOGG! > Misty: It’s me Ash. Bryann: NANI?! I thought it was Misty. Arche: I dunno. It's hard to tell the difference. Olan: Ash has black hair, Misty's the bitch. Peter: Mind not attacking Misty any more? Olan: Whatever. [takes a sip of his drink] > Ash: Misty ?! > Misty: Euheuh. SMB: [Misty] Gawrsh, yer observant, Ashie! > Ash: Wow, that dress makes you look pretty. > Misty: WHEN I’LL NEED YOUR OPINION ASH I’LL.... wait did you say pretty. Olan: First, she'd call him "Ash Ketchum". She always calls him by his full name when she's pissed. Bryann: Second, Ash and Misty have an Akane/Ranma relationship - Ash quite simply thinks Misty is a kawaiikune tomboy. Arche: Not really, Bryann...at least, not on Misty's side. Misty's there for getting her bike back alone. Sure, maybe there's some romance later on, but not in the main badge arc. SMB: God. I am surrounded by insane otaku that came from my own pen. I really need to stop watching Tron and Perfect Blue back-to-back. > Ash: Yyyyessss ! Peter: [Ash] Do that again, Misty! But this time use the tongue, too! SMB: Oh, yeah. You're still here, aren't you, birdbrain? > Misty: Oh, thank you. > Brock: Hey Ash, it’s getting late, lets find the Pokemon INN and .... Hey > who’s the babe ! Bryann: You DARE call the great Asuka a babe?! WA-TAK! Arche: It's Misty, though. Bryann: Misty with her hair down. And she looks like a pre-adolescent Asuka. Olan: They're Pokemon Centers, not Pokemon Inns. > Ash: Brock, that’s Misty ! > Brock: Misty ! Arche: [Ash] Yes, Brock. Misty. Very good. You get a cookie. Bryann: [Brock] Cookie! > They walked to the local Pokemon motel Bryann: I thought it was a "Pokemon INN". Olan: I thought they were Pokemon Centers. Arche: [darkly] Pokemon check in, but they don't check out. > and during the time, Misty notice that > every boy was looking at her. SMB: While Aurora Derall and Chibi-chan were looking at Brock and Ash, pondering the finer aspects of chimaeras and the fruitcakes that love them. Bryann: Uh... Next on Geraldo? > For the first time, Misty felt good about her > looks. Olan: I had a g*WHAP!* Arche: Dead. Horse. Beating. > In the Poke INN main office Bryann: So first it's a Pokemon INN... Olan: Then a Pokemon Motel... SMB: And now a Poke INN?! Olan: THE HELL!? Make up your mind, author! Peter: Something's gonna to get "Poked INN" before the fic is over...*WHAP* Itai... Arche: Baka. > Clerk: You’re lucky, there’s only three rooms left. Bryann: Well, at least they don't get stuck in the same room as a plot device. Peter: [Clerk] Oh, wait. We forgot that a Miss Inverse just destroyed half of our inn yesterday. There's one room left. [Bryann twitches] Olan: This isn't Slayers, you idiot bird. Arche: Thank Gaia for that! > In Misty’s Room SMB: [Misty] Oooh, Togepi... [Bryann and Peter facefault] Peter: Not even I'M that bad, kid! SMB: Don't call me kid. You wouldn't exist without me. [Arche swings her broom at SMB. He puts up his hand to block it. Unfortunately, the broom goes right past the hand after nearly breaking it, and continues on it's course towards SMB's head.] SMB: Itai... This isn't as easy as in the SI fics. Olan: [MCP] I've gotten two thousand, four hundred fifteen times smarter since then. SMB: Okay, now you're freaking me out. > Misty: Well I’m due for a shower. Olan: I feel we'll all be, after this fic. Peter: And the author's comment. SMB: Bite me. [continues to hold his hand, trying to heal it] > She took off her clothes and looked at herself in the mirror All: ACK! NO! PAN DOWN! WE DON'T WANT TO SEE AN 11 YEAR OLD NUDE! Peter: Besides, we'll see more of that later in the fic. SMB: Baka hentai. > Misty: That’s funny, without the dress, I don’t look much like a girl, far > less a woman. Bryann: Because Misty has certain...things that normal women don't have. SMB: Eew. How do you know _that_, Avatar-boy? Bryann: It's called a joke. Maybe you've heard of it somewhere? SMB: Indeed I have, Kumiko-chan. > I guess I just need time to grow. My sisters are all beautiful, so I > guess I’ll have a better body in a couple years. > > She looked at her breast and picture them larger. Peter: Mighty odd looking... one breast larger than the other. Arche: Not what the author meant. SMB: Anyone like this, if you hear us... please don't flame us! Please? ^^; > She took her shower and went > to bed. Arche: EXTREME...BEDTIME...ACTION! > When she lift up the covers of the bed, she screamed like hell. > > Misty: AHHHHAHAHHAHHA, roaches ! SMB: I thought it said she screamed. Why is she laughing then? Arche: [Misty] Go, my roach minions! Go and spread plague across the land! > In the Poke INN main room Olan: It's called a foyer. > Misty: There’s roaches in my bed, DO SOMETHING !!! Peter: [Clerk] How about you, sexy momma? [normal] Was I just talking about Misty then? Ick... > Clerk: Calm down, we’ll take care of it tomorrow. SMB: American politics at work. Arche: Are we sure Kevin Smith didn't write this fic? Olan: Nani? Arche: What the hell is with all the "Clerks"? [SMB rolls his eyes] > Misty: Tomorrow, where the hell I’m I suppose to sleep, that was your room ! Olan: Then why would Misty care? > Clerk: Well you can either sleep on this couch or in this spare bed for which > we can bring to one of your friends room. Bryann: Spare bed?! I hope to hell that's a 1 story "Inn". If not, they're gonna have a hell of a time gettin' it up the stairs. > Misty: I’ll take the bed. SMB: [Misty] And you too, while I'm at it, handsome. > Knock Knock: > Ash: Misty, do you know what time it is ! All: Tool Time? > Misty: Shut up and let me in. SMB: [Misty] ...your pants. Peter: I still say I'm not that bad, kid. SMB: Shut up, before I get out the naughty Tentacools. :P Arche: You just HAD to find a way to make another ecchi Pokemon reference, didn't you? > Ash: Don't you have a room ?! Olan: [Misty] Yeah, but some girl named Asuka is in there, ranting on about how I stole her "pissy redhead" schtick. > Misty: It’s infested, so now I’m crashing in here, OK ! > Ash: All right, all right. good night. Bryann: [Nick Diamond] Good fight, good night! > Misty couldn’t sleep, she kept thinking of the first day that boys looked at > her. Peter: Back when she was a baby? Bryann: Wha? Peter: I'm sure people looked at her all the time. Arche: Unless she's the incredible invisible Misty... Olan: ARGH! > She quietly went to the bathroom and took off her PJs. Olan: And then the fake outer skin, revealing an anthropomorphic cockroach. [SMB reaches to pull a Raichu out of Pokespace, and a scream is heard] SMB: Oops, sorry about that, Cheebs. The Pokespace's been acting wierd lately. [pulls out a 100% Raichu and beans Olan upside the head with it] Don't be bitter. [SMB is suddenly hit with the Pika-Pi attack.] I SAID I WAS SORRY, CHIBI!!! Chibi-chan's Voice: Just make sure you don't do that again, or I'll send Xelloss after you. > She looked at > herself again. She was really starting enjoying pretending Arche: Wretching, gagging, hurling... Bryann: Make up your mind, author! Which is it? Olan: Grammatical pileup in the left-hand lane.... > that she had an adult > body. She started to get a bit hot so she sat down on the toilet. Olan: And body heat relates with going to the bathroom...how? > She genteelly Bryann: [faked accent]Ah, mademoiselle, may I eenterest you in some of the...how you say... vine? > started touching the lips of her pussy, SMB: [Misty, ala Usagi] Now keep quiet, Luna! > caressing them up and down. She closed > her eyes, took a deep breath, and started to finger herself. Bryann: Why me? Why do _I_ have to deal with all the Pokelemons? > She tried to keep > it calm but she was really good at this and she moaned a bit to loud. Olan: Scaring all the commas away. > Ash got > up and knocked on the bathroom door. Peter: [Ash] Can you hurry up with your self-pleasuring? I have to pee! > Ash: Is everything all right ? > > Misty was quick to respond Peter: [Misty] Of course, Ash... want to join me? > Misty: Ya, must have been something I’ve eaten. SMB: [Ash] Awww, don't tell me Brock put Passion Spice in the food again! > Ash: OK. > Ash went back to sleep. SMB: [Ash] Lah tee dah, horny girl in my bathroom, I'll just go to sleep and dream of Pikachu and me... All except SMB: EUGH! > Misty: That was a close one. > Misty just couldn’t satisfy herself tonight > Misty: Damit, I got to have some more. Maybe there's something in here too, > no. Olan: Uh... "Fake Enormous as Little Man"? > She went into the room > Misty: No nothing in here. Nothing in there. Nothing under the bed. Olan: So if there's no nothing in here, how can there still be nothing in there or under the bed? Bryann: My head hurts. > Ash woke up Arche: He could have never gone to sleep in that time! Not unless he was narcoleptic! SMB: Or one of Pavlov's dogs. > Ash: Misty, what are you doing ? Olan: [MCP] Stop...please...do you realize I can't allow this? > Misty looked at him and smiled. She said to herself: But there’s something in > the bed Olan: And it ate the punctuation. > She sat down next to Ash who was still very sleepy. She rubbed his hair and > touched his face. Peter: [Washu] I've got magic fingers! Olan: [Tenchi] I don't care!!! SMB and Bryann: Eugh...dub reference... > Ash just couldn’t understand what was going on. > Ash: Misty, what are... Arche: [Ash] ...those strange purple bulges on your face? SMB: [Misty] This? Oh, just the ancient voodoo curse setting in. > Misty: Ush, I need to ask you something. Olan: Who's Ush? Arche: And how did the author make that typo? The "u" key is nowhere NEAR the "a" key! SMB: Maybe the author uses a DVORAK keyboard. > Ash: What ? > Misty: Do you get erections ? > Ash: What ! Olan: [Misty] What I mean to say is... uh...do you have an Erector set? Bryann: [Misty] Oh, and also, all your pants are belong to us. You have no chance to survive make your time. > Misty: Does you penis gets hard sometimes, when you think of girls and.. SMB: So she's calling him a penis now. My, what a kind, loving girl. Bryann: [Ash] Ohhhh! You mean do I get "morning wood"? [All but Bryann wince] Peter: [Beavis] Heh heh...that sucked, Bryann! > Ash: I know the definition ! Arche: [Ash] After all, my picture IS in the dictionary under the word "naive"! > Misty: Well ? SMB: Deep subject. [All but SMB groan] > Ash: Not of your business. > Misty: Oh well, I guess I’ll have to find out. Bryann: [Misty] Just how many licks DOES it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? > Ash: Misty, what the hell ar.... Peter: [Ash] Those tentacles lining the walls? SMB: [Misty] Oh, just my co-workers on the new "La Blue Pokemon". I thought they'd like to join us. > Misty removed the top of her PJs, revealing her small , but cute breast to > Ash. All: Nani?! Olan: She only has one? SMB: What is she, an amazon?! > Ash: ........ SMB: And there you have it, folks! Duke Togo! Bryann: Or Crono. > Ash was speechless. Bryann: I'd be too, if my girlfriend only had one breast. > Misty looked at him with the sexiest eyes she’s ever made. Peter: [Misty] How do you like them, Ash? I made them in art class today! Olan: [Ash] Um...they're eyeballs. Peter: [Misty] But they're so sexy, aren't they? > Misty: Well, aren’t you going to touch them ? Peter: Go on! Touch them! No! Wait! Get a pin and pop 'em instead! Olan: This is Misty we're talking about, not Naga. Peter: Yeah, so? Olan: Nothing to pop. > Ash: ..... Arche: Maybe it's Rudy. Olan: Or the main character from Suikoden. Arche: No, the player told him what to say. Olan: Yeah. Sure. [turns to Bryann] Would you like some tea? Bryann: Not if it's bitter. Olan: But it's so good for you! Bryann: Not if it's bitter. Olan: I promise, it's fine! Bryann: Not if it's bitter. Olan: But it's so good for you! Arche: ...Minna baka. > Misty took Ash right Peter: Yesiree, she done took advantage of him right! > hand and held it to her breast. Using her other hand, she > reached down and grabbed Ash’s dick. His cock, has expected, was hard. SMB: So grabbing detectives makes chickens turn to stone. I did not know that. Olan: Oooo....kay. > She got > up the bed, took off the rest of her PJs, removed the blanket revealing Ash’s > dick and approached him. Peter: [bed] Aw...and I thought I was just about to get some, too... > Ash: Misty, I... Bryann: [Ash] Am really just a replicant, programmed to kill you. Arche: [Misty] Let me retire you then!! [gets out a mallet] Heheheh... Bryann: Whoa! Break character! BREAK CHARACTER! *WHAM!* Owchies. > She silenced him again Olan: With two more gunshots to the head... > has she rubbed his dick. She looked at while All: Looked at what? > she stepped > at the end of the bed so that she could be closer to his cock. Peter: Chicken, detective, chicken, detective, MAKE UP YOUR MIND, FIC! WHAT DOES ASH HAVE IN HIS PANTS?! Bryann: Pikachu. Peter: Eugh. SMB: Nonsense. It's just a miniature 10-inch Mazoku judge. Arche: Eugh. > She bent down and > started licking his cock. Ash just couldn’t believe what was happening. Bryann: He had forgot to take his medication, and was turning back into an "Ashchu". > Misty > was naked and she was putting his penis in her mouth. All but Arche: BURRITO!!! Arche: Huh...? Bryann: You'da have to have been here. > At first he couldn’t > understand why, but then, Bryann: It all made sense when Misty pulled out the hot sauce. > he got a cool felling about it. She stooped the blow > job and asked him: Olan: [Misty] Why the hell am I stooping?! > Misty: Do you know how to cum ? All: O_o SMB: WHAT THE HELL KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT?! Peter: He's in a LEMON, for Mitula's sake! Bryann: Not to mention, uh... O_o I don't think people turn it on or off like a switch... > Ash: Cum ? Peter: Yeah! You know, putting mayo on the hot dog, creaming the twinkie, having a good feeling... You doof. Olan: Maybe he doesn't recognize the spelling. Maybe he's thinking Misty wants him to be part of Cum Laude. Peter: Say what? Bryann: I...don't get it either. SMB: Idiots. Arche: [Ruri] Baka, baka, minna baka... > Misty: Ejaculate, you know that white stuff that comes out when your penis is > that hard ! Peter: I JUST SAID THAT! Oi! SMB: Stay cool, phoenix boy. > Ash: Oh that ! It comes out sometime in my sleep. > Misty: When did you start your nocturnal ejaculations ? SMB: [Ash] Two years from now. I AM just 10, you know. > Ash: About 10 months ago. SMB: Damn...O_o [old man] Why, back in my day, we dinnt hit puberty till we was 30, and we were didn't none care 'bout it either! You kids got it too easy, what with your 2-year-old girls with their Gainax Bounce... Bryann: KYAAAAAAAAAAAAA! HYSTERIA-CHAN! > Misty: When was the last time ? > Ash: Two weeks I think, why and how do you know so much about... Peter: Why does she bother ASKING is a better question! Arche: I never thought I'd say this....but...GET TO THE DAMN SEX ALREADY! > Misty: I surfed the Internet a lot before I started my Pokemon training. > Ash: Isn’t that illegal or... SMB: Since when is surfing the 'net illegal! It's not like kids go LOOKING for Pokemon hentai, unless they're sick f***ers... Bryann: PLEASE NOTE THAT THE OPINIONS PRESENTED BY THE CHARACTERS ARE NOT NECESSARIALLY THOSE OF THE AUTHOR! Arche: Bryann...that IS the author, if you remember. > Misty: Be quiet and lick me ! > Ash: Lick you ? Peter: [Ash] All those questions and you just want me to eat you out?! Olan: The part of Misty tonight will be played by Dr. Ruth... > Misty: Just bring your head between my legs and lick my crutch ! All: ...O_o Olan: THAT'S an odd fetish... > Ash: Crutch ?! SMB: Crutch - noun. A staff used by the lame as a support in walking, especially one having a crosspiece to fit under the armpit and a grip for the hand. Bryann: Retarded - adjective. See: Pokemon trainers. > Misty: Boy, you got nothing else then Pokemon on the brain. Lick my vagina ! > > Ash: Oh that, euh why ! Arche: To get this stupid story over with? Peter: So that the tentacles can be cued into the scene? > Misty: It will give me the same feeling that you had when I put your penis in > my mouth. All: I had a good feeling! Olan: This is the way! > Ash: I guess I should give you back want gave me. SMB:I think that means...hmm.. Bryann: "To start push only player 1's button." SMB: Well said. > Misty: Ad-a-boy Arche: I'd prefer a Laz-E-Boy myself. ^^; > Misty stated moaning so loud that she woke up Pikachu and Togepi. Olan: If they want in on the action, I'm out of here, air or no air. > Pikachu: Pikachu SMB: Uh.... yeah. Bryann: Duh award time? Arche: I think so. All: DUUUUUUH! > Togepi: Touki Touki SMB: [Togepi] Cut! Cut! Director... what the HELL does that mean?! Bryann: [Togepi] Touga! Touga! Arche: [Kumiko] Die. [the sound of a force-cutlass activating can be heard] > Ash: Oh no, we woke them up ! SMB: o/~ Awake, awake, the day doth break... o/~ Arche: NO. > Misty: Just shut up and keep licking ! Peter: There's a question... Bryann: Nani? Peter: Jesse. And that Likitung. Does anyone else think that something is going on between them *ahem* "behind the scenes"? Olan: It's just you. > Ash: Yes mam, I mean Misty. Bryann: [Ash] May I have some more, please, ma'am? Olan: [Misty] No soup for you! *WHAP!* > Misty: Good, enough. Now lie down. Peter: [Misty] And be a good little biotch...er...I mean boy. > She mounted him, bringing her young virgin pussy to his young and not so hard > virgin cock. SMB: And drank Virgin Cola while worshipping the Virgin Mary. > Ash: Wait Misty, I know what you want to do and I can’t let you ! Arche: [Ash, feminine] That's sexual harrassment and I don't have to take it! Bryann: [Ash] Mommy... Misty's trying to touch me in my no-no place! > Misty: Don’t worry, Pikachu and Togepi won’t tell anyone. Bryann: But if they even THINK of joining in, I think I'll go help Olan suffocate. > Ash: No, but I know that I don’t want you to have a baby. > Ash: Ash you idiot ! Do you really think I would fuck you if I was ovulating ! All: ...O_o SMB: Anyone mind telling me why Ash has periods?! Olan: Or MPD for that matter? Arche: And you know what they call people who use the rhythm method? Parents. > Ash really didn’t want to do this SMB: Neither do we, but thanks to that jackass Whitelancer... Dakal's voice: You know, you sound like a much more bitter Tessiri when you're angry... Bryann: Tessa?! WHERE? [hides under his seat] > Ash: What about all those diseases I heard about ?! All: This is a lemon! Get over it! Peter: Geez. This kid worries as much as people on Loveline. > Misty: All right then ! > She got up and went to the bathroom. Ash checked her butt while she was > walking to the bathroom, it was small and so cute. Olan: Olan checked the sentence structure while it was walking into the toilet, it was so small and nonsensical. > He though that she gave up, but she > came back with a small square package. Bryann: Which was in fact just enough C4 to blow the whole Poke INN to smithereens, and the fic along with it. Arche: I never knew you were dark, Bry. SMB: Hell. I didn't, and I'm his author! You realize how out of character that was, Avatar boy?! Bryann: Bite me. [SMB reaches once more into the Pokespace, pulls out a Staryu, and beans Bryann upside the head with it. Arche, Olan, and Peter wince. The Staryu vanishes from whence it came.] Peter: That looked like it hurt. > She ripped opened the package and took > out something that looked like a weird balloon to Ash. She placed it over his > cock. Arche: And proceeded to make balloon animals. [SMB winces] > Ash: Hey ! Bryann: Is for horses! SMB: o/~ Hey! You! Get off of my cloud! o/~ > Misty: This is a condom, it protects both partners form diseases and prevents > pregnant. Peter: So condoms help both partners form diseases... NANI?! Bryann: I'd sure say little kids are a disease. Olan: Apparently the author thinks there's a status ailment by the name of Pregnant. SMB: There is, Olan, and it can only be cured by the Abortion spell or the Bad Plot Device item. Olan: Uh...okay. Sure. > She forced Ash to lie down as she mounted him again. Arche: ...Actually, it was only his head, and it looked quite lovely over the fireplace. > Ash wanted to get away ! SMB: o/~ I want to get away / I wanna fly awayyyyy o/~ > He > knew that he could take her, but a part of him wanted to let her do what she > was about to do. Olan: She pulled out a shotgun and got them both out of this bleedin' boring lemon. > Finally, he though that she just might knew what she was doing and > he stopped struggling. Bryann: [Shinji] I mustn't run away... I mustn't run away... Arche: [Misty] That's right, Ash, Resistance is futile. NOW CALL ME QUEEN! > Misty notice his cooperation and she smiled and kissed > him. Olan: And steals a "d", laughing all the way. > Ash just took a deep breath while she was pushing to get his cock up into > her crutch. [The males wince] SMB: That's gonna hurt in the morning. Peter: If she doesn't neuter him right here and now... > She really knew what she was doing. Olan: Obviously NOT! > She pushed and pushed, both of > them were in pain but it didn’t matter. Bryann: Of course they're in pain! They're doing it with a freaking CRUTCH for God's sake! > Misty: Don’t just lie there and moan, do something. SMB: Obviously he's doing you, Misty... > Ash placed both of his hands on her breast while she keep pushing. Peter: [Misty] DAMN IT! THE CRUTCH IS STUCK! > He rubbed her > cute tits until they got real hard. Arche: She turned to stone? Bryann: Perhaps she got turned into a chimaera by Rezo. Arche: Don't taint Zel-sama's name with connections to Pokemon. > Ash started to feel what he had felt while > he was sleeping for the last 10 months, he was about to burst ! SMB: [Kasumi] Oh my...how will we ever get that out of the carpet? > Ash: Misty, think I’m going to... Olan and Bryann: Join with Xelloss on his Riverdance tour? Arche: Can't get much more obscure than that, can you? > Misty: No Ash, don’t. Peter: Is she telling him to don't do what I think she's telling him to don't do? Bryann: Aiya. We don't have switches here, people...when it happens, it happens. -_-; > Ash: It’s hard no to ! SMB: Sorry, we're all out of to. Come back next week. Voice 2: Can't think of new riffs, so you steal them from me? SMB: Oh, hush up, Tengu. > Misty: Just think of something else, like Pokemon for example. Peter: Oh, come ON! That's the ONE surefire method to get Ash off! Bryann: [Ash] Ohhhh...pikachuuu...*WHAP!* Hey! Arche: Baka yarou. > Ash: Your right, it’s working, but when can... SMB: The plot device will tell you. > Misty: I’ll squeeze your arm when I’m ready. SMB: Thus triggering the plot device. Arche: Shut up, author boy. [SMB snaps his fingers, and Arche is buried under various Pokemon. Spontaneously, Rampage-chan cannonballs out of Hammerspace and devours them all.] SMB: Uh...okaaaay. What color of crack was I smoking when I made this series again? Olan: Crack? Not bleeding likely. Citan's voice: More probably, he was on hallucinogens. > She kept at it for about five minutes. During that time, Ash tough about > getting to Cinnabar Island and getting a Volcano Badge. Bryann: You want to advance the story? Tough! > He then looked at Pikachu and > Togepi who seamed to be enjoying the show. Olan: Oh dear Ajora... Peter: I swear, I'll never make another ecchi comment as long as I live, so long as they don't join in! Arche: They were sewing? > Suddenly Ash felt his arm squeezed. > He looked at misty SMB: Doesn't look like they're gonna, Peter. Peter: Uh...I had my feathers crossed! ^v^;; SMB: Suuuuure. Bryann: [Ash] Umm, Misty... when'd you lose the capital letter in your name? > Misty: Ash it’s time ! Olan: [Misty] We've got to get the commas back before the world falls apart! SMB: Why did that sound startlingly like the plot of a Care Bears episode? Arche: You'd know, author boy? SMB: Shaddup. > He quickly got back in the game. SMB: [Commentator] And it looks like a touchdown for Ash's team! Yes folks, he's back in the game! > Misty: All right Ash on 3. > > One, two threeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee !!!!!!! Bryann: And hence everyone in the room turned into cinders, due to a well placed Fireball spell. > They stopped moving for minute, then they looked at each other. She kissed him > passionately and said: Arche: [Misty] Why'd you go and do that? I'm going to have to kill you now. Peter: Wierd...Ninja Scroll flashbacks. > Misty: Thank you. > > They fell asleep and spent a wonderful night. Olan: So which did they do, fic? Bryann: [author] Der...soup is good? > Misty had set the alarm 15 minutes > before 8:00 AM so that they could clean up the place so that it would look > like nothing happened. SMB: But despite the constant panic, they couldn't do anything at all to get that mysterious sticky spot out of the bedsheets. Peter: Let me guess, Pikachu was sleeping on Misty's chest again? Bryann: This isn't "Misty's Unusual Morning", Peter. > Misty: Wake up Ash, it’s morning. > > Ash had slept on Misty’s breast the all night Peter: Eh, Ash, Pikachu, same difference. Olan: Uh... he fit on one breast? Did he spontaneously chibify? SMB: [quietly] We've secretly replaced Misty with Naga the White Serpent...let's see if Ash can tell the difference. > Misty: Well you probably had a good night sleep. > Ash: I feel weird. Peter: [Ash] Sex just isn't the same without Pikachu! *WHAP!* SMB: What was that about not being as bad as me, birdbrain? > Misty: Me too, I guess this is the felling of loosing your virginity. OK, lets > cleanup. All: ..... Arche: "The feeling of losing your virginity"? WHAT THE...? SMB: Maybe it's because Ash never took that condom off. > 10 minutes later, knock knock > > Misty: Come in ! SMB: [pulling megaphone out of Hammerspace] THIS IS THE PATROL AGAINST BAD PLOT DEVICES IN LEMONS. COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP. > Brock: Misty, what are doing here. Olan: Stealing articles of speech, apparently. Try saying "you" once in a while, Brock. > Misty: My room was infested, so I sleep here. > Brock: Hey I thing something’s wrong with Togepi and Pikachu. SMB: [Brock] What are they doing to each other, and why can't I join in? All else: EUGH! > The two Pokemon were frozed up like stuff toys. Bryann: Kawaii Pokemon UFO Catcher stuffies? SMB: Hmm..that gives me an idea. Hehehe. Olan: Ah, love those irregular verbs. > Misty whispered to Ash: They’re probably in shocked from last night. Bryann: Pikachu! Thundershocked, now! Peter: [Pikachu] Ash and Misty got horny and didn't invite me in? Bastards. SMB: [Togepi] Must...find...jar of toothpicks... > Ash and Misty started to giggle. Arche: [Ash and Misty] Tee hee. Scaring Pokemon with bizzare sexual rituals is FUN! > Brock: This is no time to laugh, it could be serious. Lets bring them to the > Pokemon center. Olan: [twitching] So...there's Pokemon Inns now, in ADDITION to Pokemon centers? The hell? > Like Misty and Ash said, it was just a shock from seeing their trainers do > something like that. So our heroes went on with their journey to Cinnabar > Island. Bryann: Can we get on with it? > Brock: Hey Misty, where’s that new dress ? > Misty: Oh I returned it, it wasn’t my stile. SMB: Again with the blatantly obscure Apprentice Adept references? > Brock: To bad, it looked really good on you. Bryann: [Brock] And I got a cookie when I guessed it was you! > Ash: I like her just the way she is. Peter: Squishy and warm? Arche: Eeeeew.... > Brock: Humm.. [All hum the Prolouge from Final Fantasy] > The others: What ? > Brock: Why does Pikachu keep looking at both of you every two seconds. Peter: [Pikachu] God damned traitors... I'll teach them to do it without me! As soon as I find a knife, that is...heheh... > Ash: I don’t know > He said while putting his hand on Misty’s butt. SMB: Geez. I know people just like this. Retarded and horny. > Misty: I guess he must still be a little wusy. Bryann: [Misty] Yeah, so I did Ash. What're you gonna do about it, wuss? > Brock: Hey look guys, this store sells bike really cheep. Ash, this would be a > good time to pay back Misty’s bike ! Arche: Uh.. "Crack, crack, crack, the egg into the bowl"? Olan: But Ash never needed to repay Misty's bike, just repay Misty for wrecking it. > Ash looked worried for a second > Misty: I don’t care about that anymore ! SMB: Typical plot device. Misty gets laid and all wish for a new bike becomes null and void. Arche: Girl gets laid and all her problems are over...want to be any MORE sexist, fic? > Brock: You don’t ! > Misty: Ash gave me something better instead ! Bryann: Herpes? SMB: Ick. > She said smiling Olan: Now, what was the point of saying that? > Brock: What could be better than a bike ? Arche: Good fanfiction. > Ash and Misty gave each other a romantic look and continued walking. They knew > now that they had a brand new kind of relationship. Bryann: o/~ A whole new woooorld... o/~ > The End SMB: So is it over? Can I go home? Get back to writing you good jokes? Bryann: Hey! We didn't do that bad this time! SMB: "Caller of the West Wind" was better. Voice 2: Nice plug. You're proud that Chibi posted it, aren't you? > To be continued ? All: Let's hope not. [All get up to leave] [Reverse Door Sequence] ~~The SoS (Satellite of Spam, for all you n00b33z)~~ SMB chuckled. This was truly rich. He knew he got to leave for home soon enough, but still, it was fun exercising what god-like powers he still had. Now he knew why Nav and Oscar liked it so much - not that he supported either author mind you, but he understood them. He also wondered why his friend and Co-MSTer DadyTengu was always so criticizing about everything. It wasn't a bad life, if you left your sense of decency at the door. Unfortunately, the misguided author's little reprieve was interrupted by a mallet to the head. He looked up to see the quite pissed expression on Arche's face up close and personal. She picked him up and slapped him around a few times, just like she did to his avatar at the beginning of the MST. "Baka, baka, BAKA! Why are you just lounging there," Arche yelled, "And not trying to fix the hell Dakal wreaked when he brought you here?!" SMB coughed. "Because. When I leave, it'll be repaired. Simple. I'm in control, remember." Arche sweatdropped and dropped him on the ground. "Fine then. Mind telling me where Bryann is?" SMB pointed up to the table now towering above him. "Want the avatar? He's up there." Arche blinked, and looked on the table. "Nani? There's nothing here but a SD Bryann stuffie..." She paled as she looked down at her author and he nodded. "You didn't, you bastard!" "What if I did? It's not like it's bad to be permanently kawaii. But, if he turns you on that much..." SMB snapped his fingers. "THAT'S NOT WHAT I-" Arche was barely able to spit out before the UFO-Catcher doll expanded into a full-size fanboy avatar, squooshing the young half-elven mage. "BRYANN! GET OFF ME, YOU BAKA!" Bryann quickly blushed as he moved off the disraught Arche. He then noticed a blue flashing from the corner of his eye. "Oh, look. Nuriko and Hotohori are calling again. Olan, Birdbrain, get in here!" He then whapped the light when the aforementioned MSTers were all assembled in the room. ~~~IFN!~~~ Dakal sweatdropped. "Damn it, that woman beat me to it again. I thought I'd beat her this time, but I guess not." He cleared his throat and turned to the group. "So what'd you think of today's waste of hard drive space?" Bryann laughed. "You think it was gonna break our wills, Dak'? Come on! It was bland, stupid, and entirely MSTable. I don't think anything else needs to be said." "I do," the author interrupted, "It was less like a lemon and more like a 'how to score with pre-pubescent chicks' manual. I personally think whoever wrote this should have done an after-anime lemon, at the least...or lied about their ages. Ash is 10, Misty is 11! That's why Pokemon lemons are so dumb!" Arche rolled her eyes. "Calling Doctor Ruth, calling Doctor Ruth..." Olan elbowed Arche and continued with the reviewing. "Really, I understand what all of them were saying. It's bland, involves people who shouldn't even have hit puberty yet, and sounded all too much like a blooper episode of some freakish Pokemon-Loveline crossover. All in all, usual fare for this satellite." Peter, however, was as blunt as usual... "Why the hell were they getting it on with crutches?! That's just SICK!" "Very well," Dakal sighed. "Next time, I'll make sure you won't live through the fic. And...we'll see if you can beat me THIS time, Tessiri... I WILL prove that I'm the better evil genius, mark my words! Push the button, Klarth!" Silence. "Klarth? Where the hell are you? Ah, who cares? I'll push it myself." Dakal proceeded to push two buttons - one to send the guest back, the other to end this thing, FINALLY. ~~~Blipfwoosh!~~~ <> ---- > Ash just took a deep breath while she was pushing to get his cock up into > her crutch.