Warning: The following story may cause pain in various parts of your body. Your head and your stomach. Sailor Mac (AmberSesht@aol.com) and Mark Berger (mberger8837@vax2.winona.msus.edu) present... A Moon and Rose MSTing Mystery Sailor Theater 3000 Episode #105 "Evening at Lita's" Love theme from Mystery Sailor Theater 3000 In the not-too-distant future, Way down in Deep 13, Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank Were hatching an Evil Scheme, They caught a girl called Sailor Moon, A teenage girl who liked to sleep til Noon, Their experiment needed a good test case, So they signed up with the Negaverse And shot her into space! (Get me down!!!) We'll send her cheesy fanfics, The worst we can find (la-la-la) She'll have to sit and watch them all, And we'll monitor her mind (la-la-la) Now keep in mind Serena can't control, Where the fanfics begin or end (la-la-la) She'll try to keep her sanity With the help of her Sailor Friends! (Whirrrr) Sailor Roll Call! Venus! Jupiter! Mercury! Maaaaaaars! (That's one 'A') If you're wondering how they eat and breathe, And other science facts (la-la-la) Just repeat to yourself, "It's just a show, I should really just relax! For Mystery Sailor Theater 3000!" <@> <2> <3> <4> <5> <6> SERENA: Something smells good! LITA: Well, I figured that since we were being held captive by an American, we might as well borrow one of their holidays. MINA: Really? LITA: Well, not really, but hey, it's a more solid excuse than most of the authors we've been seeing lately, ne? ALL: Sure is. RAYE: So when is it going to be done? SERENA: I hope it's not too much longer, I'm getting hungry! DARIEN: And when Serena gets hungry... AMY: We've got commercial sign, we'll be right back... AMY: Now we're back. And, unfortunately, we're getting signal feed from the Mads. I would have thought that virus would have had a longer life. DARIEN: Don't blame me, I wasn't the one who designed it. FORRESTER: I'll ignore that. It's your turn again to go first in the Invention Exchange. FORRESTER: That's an invention? LITA: Not really, but we were kind of running short on exchange ideas, and I started cooking dinner. Besides, it actually is kind of a culinary invention, you see everything here - except for the turkey - was grown here on the Satellite. AMY: I was exploring in the aft bays and found some old hydroponics modules from an old Star Trek movie, so I decided to put them to good use. SERENA: An invention that's practical AND delicious, I like that! FORRESTER: We'll see to it that after today's fic, you regret that meal. But what are the holidays without old friends and children? SERENA: You let them go RIGHT NOW, unless you want to be dusted!! FORRESTER: An idle threat, to be sure. Today's invention is an artificial dark-energy inducer. And since we've already shown you the kids, I think it's time for the old friends. Frank, throw the switch. (Frank throws the switch and dark energy courses through the two girls) REENIE: MAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! HOTARU: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! BLACK LADY: You're going to suffer for that, Forrester! How dare you treat the next Queen of Crystal Tokyo in such an undignified manner? FORRESTER: But... But I... MISTRESS 9: No "buts!" You're going up there!! FRANK: Oh no... BL and M9: OH YES!!! (Forrester and Frank disappear from Deep 13 and reappear on the SOL2) BLACK LADY: Mistress Nine... Let's push the button! MISTRESS 9: Of course! (pushes the button) BLACK LADY: I wanted to push the button! FORRESTER and FRANK: OH GREAT! We've got LEMON-SIIIIIIGN!! SCOUTS: AAAAAAAAAUGH!!! <6> <5> <4> <3> <2> <@> Hello. This is Vermilion, formerly known as FRANK: Prince! the Unseen Warrior. FORRESTER: Why couldn't he have remained hidden? This is my first attempt at a hentai fic and only my second fic overall. So please keep this is in mind when you flame me. SERENA: Sure, we'll only broil you well-done. As with all hentai fics that have come before mine, this contains LITA: Characters acting way out of character, illogical situations and ridiculous dialogue. scenes of graphic sex and adult situations. So, if you're under 18 or stuff like this is illegal in your area (you know if you fall into one of these situations), FORRESTER: We're in space, nothing is illegal out here. please stop now. I will not be held responsible for anything that happens to you. SERENA: Except for the words that we had to read. Put the appropriate Sailor Moon disclaimers here. FRANK: And put the lamps over there. You know who they belong to. SERENA: I AM NOT A NUMBER!! I AM A FREE WOMAN!!! As with my first fic, I'll be using the American names. In case you're a Japanese fan and have never heard of the American version, LITA: Some may say you're lucky. here's a list that might help. JAPANESE NAME AMERICAN NAME Usagi Serena Ami Amy Rei Raye Makoto Lita Minako Mina Mamoru Darien Yuuichiro Chad FRANK: And Jerry Mathers as the Beaver. This fic is dedicated to all Lita/Makoto fans, since all the good stuff in this fic will involve her. LITA: Oh, wonderful. Can I kill him now? Feel free to mail me at the address below. AMY: You will certainly get SOMETHING in the mail!! Now as Metallica said in "The House Jack Built": Let the show begin! ****************************************************************************** FRANK: Ooooh, look! Fireworks! EVENING AT LITA'S by Vermilion Chapter 1: A Tall, Cold One LITA: What I'll need to get through this. AMY: Seconded. FORRESTER: All in favor? (all say "Aye!") FORRESTER: All opposed? (silence) FORRESTER: Motion carries. VOICE OF BLACK LADY: I don't think so, Doctor. As she looked at how perfectly the table was set, Lita looked at her watch. She knew that her friends Serena, Raye, Amy, and Mina would be arriving at any time. LITA: And she didn't have much time to warn them. She then turned her attention to what was prepared for the feast that was soon to come. She looked at the curry, beef stroganoff, and many other dishes that were prepared and congratulated herself. AMY: Somebody who knows what complex cooking actually is! Whoa! "I did a nice job, if I don't say so myself," she thought. She then took off her apron and set it on the counter just as the doorbell rang. FRANK: AAAAUUUGGGHHH!!! Jehovah's Witnesses! "Come in," she shouted. The door opened and one by one, Lita's friends poured in. FORRESTER: Come ON. Either they came in one by one or they poured in, you can't do both. "Hi Lita," Amy said. Noticing the smell of the food, Serena darted toward the table. SERENA: Shallow Serena stereotype number one! "Wow! This looks great," she said to Lita. "Thanks," Lita answered. "Please, take a seat and help yourselves." The girls did just what Lita said and when she sat down, the quintet began to eat. "This food is great," Serena said with her mouth full. SERENA: Shallow Serena stereotype number two. "How do you do it?" FRANK: Like this. (Mimes picking up phone) Hello, Boston Market? SERENA: (smacks Frank) Unlike you, Lita can cook! "I just can," Lita answered. "Cooking is just second nature to me." "Well," Raye blurted out, "whatever you do, don't lose it. What would Serena do if you did?" Serena flashed Raye a dirty look. SERENA: Strike three, you're OUTTA THERE!!! "All right you two, knock it off," Mina said in order to avoid another Serena and Raye stand off. LITA: Is there any shallow Serena stereotype this author hasn't used yet? SERENA: Nope. "Let's just enjoy our evening here." AMY: Don't I wish. The girls ate what was prepared until it was gone, save for a few scraps here and there. FRANK: (belching noise) "Hey Lita," Serena said, "you got any dessert? After all, it's the most important part of the meal." SERENA: Oops, we missed one! Lita chewed herself out. "D'oh. I knew I forgot something. I'll have it ready in just a bit. In the meantime, you guys can go watch a video or something. You can pick a movie from my collection if you want." LITA: Except the new "Godzilla." If you watch that, your brain will implode. FORRESTER: Brain? What brain? "What about the table?" Amy asked. "Let it go, I'll clean it up later." Lita replied happily. She then walked into the kitchen as the others went into the living room. AMY: Which was filled with poisonous gas! In the living room, Amy and Raye sat on the couch as Serena and Mina surfed LITA: the Web, looking for this author's Web page so Darien could Cyber Rose Bomb it. through Lita's video collection. The two girls saw some titles that caught their eyes. "Hey, look at these," Serena said as she read off the titles. "Have any of you heard of 'Terminator 2: Judgment Day', 'Jurassic Park', or even 'Twister'? What kind of titles are these?" FRANK: She's been imprisoned in an underground vault all her life! "Those are American movies," Amy said. "I've seen them and they're all quite good." "Really?" Raye asked Amy. "Chad and I rented 'Twister' once. I thought the effects were good but no storyline to it." LITA: Which pretty much describes every top-grossing American movie of the past 15 years. As Amy and Raye discussed movies, Mina said to Serena," AMY: (as Mina) To Serena. Lita is an avid collector of foreign films, especially American films. But check out what I found." She then pointed to a collection of tapes in clear boxes. FRANK: The complete works of Jerry Lewis? When she and Serena walked over, they discovered that the videos were hentai videos. ALL GIRLS: AAAUUGGGHHH! PORN TRIGGER! "Holy sh.." Serena shouted as Mina covered her mouth. "Not so loud," Mina whispered angrily. "These are her little secrets. All 20 of them. Let's see what on these shall we?" SERENA: No! AMY: I'd rather have bamboo driven under my fingernails. "But Lita will find out. Won't she be mad?" LITA: I've been mad from the begining of this fic. Why stop now? "Maybe. But I think she'll get over it." Mina then grabbed one from the shelf and put it in the SERENA: Trash can. VCR. "What are we going to watch, Mina?" Raye asked. FRANK: Lita's vacation videos. ALL: NO! ANYTHING BUT VACATION VIDEOS! LITA: (Ben Stein monotone) And this is Ken sitting next to the Grand Canyon. . .this is the couple from Kentucky we met at the hotel . .this is Ken in the restaurant. . . OTHERS: (snoring noises) "You'll find out," Mina said discreetly as she and Serena took seats on the floor. SERENA: (eeps and grabs for where Darien usually is, out of reflex) FORRESTER: Why Serena, I never knew you cared. (Serena lets go fast!) Meanwhile, in the kitchen, as Lita began preparing dessert, she began to hear sounds of two women having sex. LITA: There's a Chris Davies fic taking place in the next room! When she heard this, she cringed. She knew they had found her hentai collection. "Oh no," she thought. "They found the tapes. Now they'll think I'm some kind of perv or something." She hanged her head down and was near the point of crying. Back in the living room, the girls stared at the events on the screen. All of them were aroused at what they were seeing. LITA: Aroused to commit a bit of the old ultra-violence, that is. However, the video had begun to arouse Amy most of all. She could feel the warmth building up between her legs. FRANK: She's sitting on the radiator! She could also sense her lust taking over her mind as every thought in her mind became one. All she could think of was.... SERENA: (as Amy) I have to pee! "I have to get out of here and fast," Amy thought. Just then, she could smell her own musky scent emanating around her. LITA (as Amy): Damn! Overdid it with the Georgio again! She knew the others had smelled it too but were too entranced by the video to notice. SERENA: Try "too nauseated by the video to notice." She walked over to the kitchen hoping something there could get her off of what she was thinking. FORRESTER: I suppose I should point out what a horrendous choice of words that "get her off" was. When Amy walked into the kitchen, she saw Lita hanging her head. She then asked, "Lita, what's wrong?" FRANK: I can't get rid of this nasty garlic breath! "I'm going to kill Mina," Lita replied angrily. "She knew I didn't want you guys seeing my hentais." SERENA: Well we have two of them that we make fun of whenever we have a video night. Not quite knowing what to do, Amy did the first thing that popped up in her mind, to walk over to Lita and hug her. When she did, Amy became turned on again. FORRESTER: Oh what the hell is she, a light bulb!? Feeling Lita's warm body touching her own made her juices flow free, soaking her panties. LITA: Snapple AWAAAAYYYY!!! Now feeling unbelievably horny, Amy began to whisper in Lita's ear. "Lita..." Lita, who was able to calm down, replied by whispering, SERENA: (as Lita) Get. . . Out. . . Of my. . . PANTS! "Yes?" "I want to tell you something, something that I normally wouldn't tell you." "What?" LITA: When I'm alone late at night, I like to dress up as Mary Ann and act out old "Gilligan's Island" scripts. "I....I ha...I have always looked up to you. In fact, I sometimes desired you. I was always afraid to tell you until I saw that movie." As this point, Lita was shocked. FRANK: She backed into the electrical socket! "Did I just hear that right?" she thought. "Amy wants me? What's going on here?" FRANK: Offhand, I'd say a lesbian pileup lemon is being written! Those were her final thoughts before she felt Amy's lips touch hers. Lita was at first overwhelmed by what was going on, SERENA: I'm underwhelmed by what's going on. but gradually she got used to it. As Amy pushed her tongue into Lita's mouth, Lita returned the favor. As their tongues intertwined, LITA: They became painfully knotted. Both of them were rushed to the ER, where emergency surgery was necessary. SERENA: Whoa! Dark this morning, Lita? Lita could feel her juices flowing just as freely as Amy's. Just then Amy's hand grabbed one of Lita's breasts and started to caress it. Lita broke the kiss in order to moan just loud enough so only the two of them could hear. Amy then asked Lita, FRANK (singing): Are you ready for some FOOTBALL? "Lita, will you make love to me?" That question pushed Lita over the edge. FORRESTER: She went on a rampage through much of Tokyo before being brought down by the AD Police. With a sweep motion of her arm, Lita was able to clear a small part of the counter. She then lifted Amy up onto the counter and the two kissed again. As they did this, Lita removed Amy's shirt and bra and using her pointer fingers, flicked over the nipples. The sensations caused the nipples to harden almost instantly. LITA: Revlon Fast Dry Nipple Polish: hardens almost instantly! After about two minutes of this, Lita broke the kiss and took a step back. "Okay, let me get this straight," she said, "You want me to pleasure you, right?" Amy simply nodded. "It has always been my greatest desire." FRANK: Well, that and bungee-jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge. Lita smiled and said, "I'll try my best." She stepped toward Amy and removed her ponytail band, allowing her hair to drop down to just below her shoulders. Her mouth then encompassed one of Amy's pebble like nipples while one of her hands continued to flick and pinch the other one. Amy arched her head back when she could feel Lita's tongue circling her nipple. The feeling was sensational, a feeling she had never felt before. LITA: It's redundant. And redundant. And redundant. All she could do was moan between the short gasps she was now taking. While this all felt so good, Amy wanted something else, something she always wanted Lita to do. "Lita..hhh" she grunted. FRANK: She's become a pig? "What?" Lita asked seductively as she took her attention from Amy's nipple. "I have some dessert for you." "Oh? What kind?" Amy then unzipped her pants and pulled off her wet panties. She then spread her legs wide enough so that Lita could see her juicing pussy. LITA: It's the Juicing Pussy! Simply insert the oranges in the ceramic cat's mouth, and fresh juice comes out of the tail! Available only through this special TV offer! Amy softly and seductively replied, "Some hot Mercury pie." Lita so badly wanted to taste that throbbing clit but she had an idea. She walked to the freezer and took out an ice cube. When Amy saw the ice cube, she asked, "What's that for?" AMY: Oh no. . . Please don't say that. . . "I want to cool the pie a bit first." Lita then took the ice cube and inserted a portion of it into Amy's love cup. Amy's head shot LITA: off her neck, flew up to the ceiling and got caught in the blades of the fan. back quickly as the shockwaves of pleasure overtook her. AMY: (winces) That doesn't sound like pleasure! That sounds PAINFUL! As she could feel Lita driving the ice cube in and out of her dripping pussy, she was able to keep herself busy by playing FRANK: Pokemon on her Gameboy. with her nipples. After teasing Amy's helpless love tunnel with the cube, Lita then started to lick the end she inserted into Amy. "Hmm" she thought, "Amy tastes pretty good." She brought the ice cube to Amy's mouth, which she instantly accepted. Amy relished in the taste of her own juices. As Amy sucked on the ice cube, Lita returned south and FRANK: Ended up in Florida! indulged herself by darting her tongue into LITA: A big heap of Chunky Monkey Amy's hot dripping pussy. She started by licking circles around the mound until she ultimately thrusted it as far as it would go into Amy. Meanwhile, Amy took the now melting ice cube and rubbed the dripping water and love juice mixture all over her hot body. FRANK: Now remember, do this every night before bedtime and your skin will be soft as a baby's bottom! As she was doing this, she started to cry out in sheer pleasure as she could feel Lita's tongue doing its magic. "Ahhh..Lita!!!" Amy shouted out. "Oh yes!! Keep licking." FRANK: And keep on ticking! Lita did just as she was told, licking every part of Amy's womanly folds making sure not to miss a single area. Amy started to feel the pleasure building in her swollen hole. She knew what was going on and what was going to happen. She was building to orgasm. Lita also sensed this by how Amy was reacting. She then stopped licking and inserted two of her fingers into the blue haired vagina. She smiled at how easily Amy's cunt accepted them. LITA: I'd like to thank the Academy for these lovely fingers. She figured Amy must have masturbated a few times in order to have her pussy accept fingers easily. "It's always the ones you least suspect," Lita thought to herself as she continued to finger her fellow Scout, good friend, and now lover. As Lita's fingers went in and out of Amy's second pair of lips, both girls could hear sloshing noises being emitted. FRANK: Oh, damn! The toilet's overflowing again! The sound of her womanly liquids pushed Amy over the edge. FORRESTER: That doesn't sound right at all. AMY: Damn right!! She lifted her ass off the countertop as her slit tightened around Lita's fingers. She yelled at the top of her lungs as she covered Lita's fingers with cum. Lita forcefully removed her fingers and licked the cum off. LITA: (gags) FRANK: Needs sugar. She indulged herself in the taste. "Mmmmmm......" Lita brought her fingers to Amy's mouth which she accepted just as she did with the ice cube. After the cum was licked clean off of Lita's fingers, Lita picked Amy up off the countertop and set her gently down feet first to the floor. "So," Lita asked, "how was I?" LITA (as skating announcer): Here are the marks for Lita Kino: 9.8, 9.7, 9.7, 9.6, 9.8. . . A very groggy Amy gave a weak smile and answered with, "You were wonderful." With that said, the two of them kissed briefly. "Let's get your clothes back on," Lita said. Amy nodded and with Lita's help, Amy got dressed and the two of them walked out to the living room. While Lita and Amy were having the time of their lives, Serena, Raye, and Mina were LITA: Getting wise to what this fic was about, so they made their escape. still hypnotized by the hentai film. That is until Lita pushed the stop button. The three girls snapped out of their trance to see that Lita was standing in front of them. "What's the deal?" Raye asked Lita. "I have a surprise for you all," Lita answered. She then walked over to her CD player and started to sift through her discs. LITA: Yanni? Who put these here? Crystal Knight's been into my CD collection again! As Lita was doing this, the girls looked at Amy, who gave them a weak and goofy smile. FRANK: I will love him and kiss him and call him George. "What happened to you," Mina asked. Amy softly and sweetly replied, "I just went to heaven." The girls stared at Amy in wonder and then at each other. "What happened to her?" Raye asked. LITA (as Raye): Somebody put hash in her brownies? "I don't know," Serena said. "I do," Mina replied. She then smiled at Serena and Raye. "I think Lita and Amy...uh...you know." "What?" Serena asked Mina. LITA: Do I have to draw pictures? "They had sex," Mina answered bluntly. "We didn't pay attention because we were too into the hentai film." AMY: I thought the stereotype was that Lita was the blunt one. As the three girls looked at one another clueless, Lita said something that got their attention, even Amy's. "I found the right song. Now for that surprise." SERENA: We're getting out of here early? FORRESTER: Don't I wish. Sit back down. AMY: I'm out of here!! BLACK LADY: We don't need you for the next one. (Amy disappears and Darien appears)