(Turn off your lights. Void in Hawaii.) Mystery Hentai Theater 3000 Episode 1: Makoto Finds her Lost Lover This is a MSTing of a work of fiction created by another author. Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred. Sailor Moon is the property of Naoko Takeuchi and all the distributors of her work. This work is the property of the Author. I don't want it. I do not intend to offend the author, rather to give him an odd form of C&C. Warning: This fic contains adult content. If you are offended by such material, simply delete it and it's gone. If not, enjoy! SATELLITE OF LOVE 0800 HOURS 1000 IN TOPEKA, KS AT THE SOUTH POLE, WHO KNOWS? Joel Robinson and the bots were crowded around the computer. Normally they would have scorned anything that might put them in touch with a bad lemon, but today they were eagerly awaiting the nominations for the Silver Mally Award. As he stared at the screen they all began to form opinions. "Oh god, a Sailor Moon, Winnie the Pooh crossover!" Joel said in shock. "I hope Dr. F never sends us that!" "Um, Joel." said Crow, "We did that one two months ago." "I know, I was just trying to block the memories Crow" "Here's a controversial category." Tom pointed out, "Bravest Author." "I'm giving it to the crew of the Showgirls MiSTing." said Joel. "Anyone who exposes Santa Claus porn has got to win." said Crow. Tom was caught in a moment of indecision when the lights began flashing. The trio rushed over to the viewscreen to see the stupid yet terrifying face of Dr. Forrester. "Ah, my humble little lab rats. How are we today." "Um, fine sir. Ready for the invention exchange?" "Not this week, sorry. It seems Frank ate this week's invention by mistake." Dr. F stared at a bloated Frank who was lying on the floor. "But sir, It looked like Jello!" "Save your sniveling for when I suck your stomach! Now then boys, today's experiment concerns a question we've all wanted an answer too. What the hell happened to Lita to cause her to see every male as her old boyfriend. And where is the creep now? So prepare yourself for "Makoto Finds Her Lost Lover!" (Lights strobe and pan around) "Ohhhhhh, We've got Lemon Sign!" yelled Joel DOOR 6: It's a wall of Legos. You take them apart and rebuild them into an giant Lego person before continuing. DOOR 5: It's a bead door. You easily walk through it. DOOR 4: A stop sign pops up and blocks your way. You take it off it's post and hang it in your bedroom before continuing. DOOR 3: It's an airlock from DS9. It rolls into the wall. Door 2: It's a giant atom. You throw a neutron at it and it explodes. Door 1. It's a hoop like football players run through. You crash through the paper and enter the theater. Joel walks into the theater with Tom in his arms and steps over the air vent that prevented Tom from gliding in. The three take their seats. >So then... I am doing my third lemon! I can't believe I can write this stuff >so easily... Tom: Could it be that you didn't bother to come up with any sort of a plot? >this crap just flows from my fingers as I wrote it in this PC... Crow: If you find crap flowing from your fingers, call the specialists at 1-800-HND-CRAP Tom: Operators are standing by, to help with your problem. >OK: Here it goes, not people under 18 here (Sailor Moon says!), Joel: Sailor Moon says! Don't slander the image of my friends or you'll be dusted! >after that age you're welcome, ah! also hafta tell you that this damn pretty >good looking characters are property of Toei, Bandai, DIC (or DICK?) and >Naoko T. Crow: Please welcome the newest member of the cryps, Naoko T! >excepting this guy Frey that you're going to hear about soon... Tom: Frey sat by the bay in the month of may, watching the say, with his friend Rey, who wanted him to pay for the day, but Frey said Nay, Nay! Joel: A poet, you're not Tom. >Oh! Also hafta told you that if you read this story you'll maybe find some >stuff going like Aaron's lemons, I just wanna follow the steps of my >master... Crow: You didn't pay much attention in Lemon Writing 101 did you? >Mail me your ideas, because I'm running out of them, OK? just send any crap >you're thinking on at shiro_usagi@hotmail.com. Tom: 3 Lemons and he's already running out of ideas! > Makoto finds her lost lover. > By Mike -Shiro Daimon- Fuller. > It was raining that night as Makoto ran by the street, holding her >bag from the supermarket. Her body was all soaked and her clothing hugged >her perfect body, water ran by her face and her waved hair sticked in her >neck and forehead. Crow: Hey the perfect setup to get a Lemon going! > She crashed with someone and her bag felt, Joel: It felt it should run far, far away from here. >he crouched to help her to pick the things. Tom: How courteous. Of course I would have used that opportunity to cop a feel of Makoto's breasts. Joel: Tom.... Crow: Come on Joel, you would've done it too! > She looked by a second the face of the person helping her and she >exclaimed -"Frey! Joel: Frey? I hope this is a typo for Fred. Tom: I hope so. Frey sounds gay. >It's you..."- her eyes grew larger Crow: Until they blew apart and splattered on Frey's face. Tom: Why are you so dark all the time Crow? Crow: Not all the time! Just... most of it. >as he looked at her and said -"Makoto!"- Tom: How nice, he knows Morse code. >, she quickly took all the stuff and put it in the plastic bag, and scaped >as fast as she could. Joel: (with gangster accent) You can't scape foo! >He ran after her and grabbed her arm -"Let me explain please..."-, Crow: I'm not talking to you until you stop beeping! >she just told him: "There's nothing to explain! Nothing!" Tom: I am omniscient! > He stared at her as she looked Frey's beautiful green shinning eyes Joel: (now a Scottish accent) Careful Lass, He's got the shinning! >-"I left you because I got a schoolarship I couldn't reject... It was one >chance of my lifetime" - "You lost all the chances with me son of a bitch!" Joel: See guys, when you love a woman, she's far more important than money. Tom: That's what you think Joel! >-"I love you Makoto Kino!!". His eyes meet with her's as she felt what he >was saying was true, Crow: But to be sure she made him take a polygraph. >then they just only found each other Tom: I thought they'd already found each other. They were speaking to each other right? Joel: Ignore it Tom. >in a kiss under the rain, as they hugged each other in a moment that seemed >last forever. Crow: Now there's an oxymoron if I ever heard one. Tom: Considering the guy who wrote it was a moron. > Frey was the guy who broke Makoto's heart long time ago, now they >where together again... Joel: They're in front of the supermarket, in the rain. You already told us! >it was just a weird playing of destiny... Crow: So does destiny play the flute or the cello? Tom: I'd guess the saxophone. > A pair of months went like running... Crow: Running what? Water, milk... Joel: Don't go there Crow. >Makoto was having an incredible time as she believed that she just found the >man she was looking for. She didn't knew what was going to happen now. Tom: Please say Frey will leave her again! > Makoto called up Amie in the afternoon, she asked quickly Joel: One, what did she ask and two, what's up with Ami's name? >and Makoto started to chat: > -"What are you doing over there?" Tom: Smoking crack and getting stoned. > -"You know... my mother is out of the city for some of her stuff..." > -"Why do your mother does go out a lot?", Makoto interrumpted. > -"Maybe she goes out to do the same I do here, ha!", Amie said. Crow: So what does she... actually I'd rather not know. > -"Well, anyway, I'll tell you this and then let you go and play with >the cherries Joel: I hate playing with cherries. It's the pits. >... tonight Frey is going to come over here..." > -"Sleep with him!" Amie yelled. Tom: (yelling) Oh, my God! Could you be more OOC! > -"Hey sis! what's happening to you?" Crow: It's probably PMS. > -"Just wanna go back to bussiness!" Ami said. Tom: Back to the cherry pits. > -"Well, I guess I'll take your advice then! Bye!" > -"Bye! Ahh!" Amie gasped and Makoto though that her friend was a >kinda maniatic. Joel: Just a little bit. > Makoto started to prepair for the dinner she was going to have with >Frey, first she went over the refrigerator and saw what she had there... she >noticed a bottle of wine Crow: Excellent. When he comes in I'll smash him on the head with this. >and imagined how wonderful it will be to include it on the menu they were >going to have that night. Tom: We'll start with chicken and rice, have a light salad, and for desert, Me! >Then she oppenned the dish washer and took a pair of dishes, the spoons and >all the other stuff she needed, Crow: Don't forget the dildo! >she closed the door and went over the stereo and put a romatic CD on >it "hafta be the best", she though, Joel: Just do it! Tom: Obey your thirst! Crow: Go for the gold! >then walked upstairs. She was going to take a shower, Crow: Where's Norman Bates when you need him! >she took a towel and hang it in a hook on the bathroom, the went over her >bed and started to take off her clothings, she slowly took off her white >t-shirt, caressing her soft and smooth skin, Tom: Hand lotion, so many uses, so much time! >then, looking at herself, slid her hands down and grabbed her panties and >threw them behind her, over her right shoulder, like kind of wishing herself >look. Joel: I wanna be a supermodel! >She could start to touch herself as she was thinking all that she was going >t do with Frey, but she didn't... she wanted to save the best for him. Crow: For Frey, I doubt her best will be good enough. > She entered to the shower after putting on her shower cap, then >pulled the courtain, she turned the faucet on and let the water caress her >naked body, after being soaked enough Tom: Oh, where's my super soaker? >she took the soap and started to pass it over her skin, she closed her eyes, >the soap runned down Joel: Looks like the soap is out of gas. >and she slowly rubbed her body, going down as she felt the heat of her skin >nearby her legs... she though she just could start to touch her sex now, Crow: Why do they say sex? Why not just say... Joel: Don't make me have you sit in a corner Crow. >but she wanted to save the best for him, Tom: Why not obey your thirst? >so she stopped, turn the faucet into colder water and quickly end her >shower. Joel: Sex Clichй #254: A cold shower always takes away your urges. > She took the towel and slowly dryed her body, going from the top of >her face til her tiptoes. Crow: Stretch and one and two, that's it! >Then, walking to her drawers, dropped the towel over the bed, she looked the >bed and almost layed over it to start to masturbate, she was really hot and >exited, Tom: I think I'll just take a walk and get out of THIS Fic! >and she could felt how she was getting wet... she didn't care about it and >took the underwear she was going to use, "black lingerie drives men crazy, a >black bra, black panties and of course, a black neglige, that will do it!" Joel: Sex Clichй #1054: Lingere is a must-have for any encounter. >she though as she put on them and looked for something else to wear, then >she looked at a matching black short dress, "OK, I'll turn into black >clothing now, hafta also take my black high heels then!", Crow: This Makoto's my kind of gal! >she put them on as she walked to her mirror, then took some dark makeup, >putted a little shadow over her eyes Tom: Fore! >and lipsticked her mouth with a vivid red tone, remarking it from the rest >of the black clothing she was wearing. Joel: Oh no! Makoto's gone Goth! > It was late by now, Makoto had just made her delicious soba noodles >and set the table including wine in the menu, Tom: I doubt she'll stay "Soba" for long! >someone ring the bell... it just had to be him. > Frey entered giving Makoto a bunch of red roses, she took them and >went upstairs and putted the love flowers on her night table. Joel: Sex Clichй # 52.. Bots: Shut Up! > "Let's... have dinner" (she almost said "let's do love" but she >wanted that to be the last thing they would do, like the dessert or >something). Tom: Or something like not doing it at all. > Then they started to talk and Makoto started to relax, feeling better >as she was with Frey that magical night. > "These noodles are delicious, really delicious" Frey said. > "Thanks, a lot" Makoto answered softly. Joel: What happened to the strong, loudmouthed Makoto we knew and loved? Crow: She's up your butt. > The romantic music had been dominating the background of the scene >all the time the had been eating the dinner. Tom: Don't you love the music Frey, hint, hint! > They were a little drunk by now because they drank a lot of cups of >the wine Makoto had placed on the table, but she took the dishes to the >kitchen as Frey followed her. Crow: I'm sure Frey could only get to Makoto by getting her drunk. Tom: Either that or stoned. > She turn off the CD player, as the scene went completely silent. > She kept walking as she went upstairs, into her room. She already >had a plan as soon as she saw that Frey was following her everyplace she >went. Joel: I'll walk out the front door then slam it in his face! > In her room she sat on the bed, as Frey, drunk, followed everything >she did. She went over him and took her tie off, Crow: Hey, only Haruka wears ties! Tom: Are you sure Crow? Then how do explain Makoto and Ami? Crow: Ok, you win. Makoto can wear a tie. >he already knew what she was trying to tell him. Joel: Get out of my life? >He started to undress Makoto as he found the black lingerie she was having >for him, only for him. She started to take his shirt and his pants, Crow: Throw them out the window and have him walk home naked! >while he caressed her head and let his fingers run thru Makoto's waved brown >hair. She slid her hand into his boxers as she felt his penis hardening, >"hmmmm" he said, Tom: Let's see, E=MC.. Doh, where's my notebook? >as Makoto though it wasn't hard enough. > She started to pull down her bra as it slid down, Crow: Wouldn't that be the exact same thing? Joel: Just smile and nod Crow. >caressing her soft big and round breast, and over her swollen nipples as the >fabric felt from her body, Frey started to touch them as she moaned softly, >gasping, begging for more. Tom: Let's see. Total punctuation errors in that part, 5! >He pinched her nipples as she moaned harder, she felt how her own sex was >wetting again. Crow: Bad sex, bad! >Frey kept caressing her body for a long, long time, his hands ran by her >back and her bossoms, he felt her hard nipples running in his chest, Joel: Frey must have a hollow chest. Tom: He certainly has no heart! >it felt good and warm as Makoto kept sighing. > Then he took off her neglige, and put his hand down to take the long >stockings off from her long and beautiful legs, she enjoyed to feel him >caressing her legs for so long, as Frey went up back, finding this time her >sex Crow: Jeez! We already knew this was going to come to sex. Takes him most of the fic to find that out! >under her black panties, he started to rub the wet area, until he found >the throbbing hiding behind the panties he quickly took off. Joel: A throbbing what? Crow: I would tell you Joel but I'd only get in trouble. > "Lickin' time" Frey gasped, "Go on! go on!" (Everyone bursts out laughing) >, he started to lick the smooth inner surface of her sex, Tom: I'm going to guess that this guy has no sexual experience at all. Crow: And you'd be right. >she moaned hardly as she felt the pleausure that masturbating could never >give her, he was tasting her juices as they flood over his face, Joel: What is it with lemons? Every woman has to be Old Faithful. >the flavor was delighting and he just can not stop there. > Then and suddenly Frey went into her clit, Tom: I guess Makoto's got a hollow clit to match Frey's hollow chest. >Makoto just yelled "Do it! do it!" while he did it all over there: licking, >sucking, touching and pinching one time after another, Makoto felt she was >going to come in any second. Joel: Unlock the door Frey. I want to come in! > Frey run up after kissing all her body, Crow: Knocking them both to the ground. >licking her swollen hard nipples and tasting the flavor of Makoto's sweat, >his tongue crossed across all her chest. Tom: With a tongue that long Frey must be a toad! >She moaned and yelled went he slid his cock in, now this time she felt it >was hard enough, maybe too much. "AHHHH! AHHH! it hurts!" she yelled full >of pleasure Crow: I thought Rei was the only one into SM. >while licking clean the fluids from Frey's face, "you taste so good!" he >gasped as they where Joel: Hey, I don't want to know where you are! >quickly moving, rolling over the bed as their hips were going >uncontrollable. > Makoto was licking Frey's neck and shoulders desperatly as she felt >the orgasm building inside her, "I can't hold it anymore, I'll come!! AHH! >AHHHH!" she was yelling as he gasped hardly, "Try to hold it more, honey!!". Crow: Try to hold the honey, Honey! > "I can't!!!" she moaned loudly as she was coming, shaking as most and >locking with Frey in a long long kiss. She felt her orgasm lasted by an >eternity, she felt it grew higher and higher, beyond all the limits she ever >expected Tom: She's gone to... Ludicrous Speed! >, "I'mmmmm comiiiin'!!" the guy moaned hardly Joel: Thank God. Frey left! >as she said, "inside me, inside meeeee!!!" then he came as the slurping >sounds of their sex dominated the scene mixing with their moanings, >gaspings, sighings, cryings and yellings. Tom: With Usagi I could picture crying but here... no. > The layed over there, he already was inside her, and he kept there >for a long time, until Makoto raised weakly, Crow: So you found my hollow clit eh? >with tears running from her eyes and soaked out with sweat. > She went over Frey's penis and lick it up clean, from down to top, >making him moan by last chance when she stayed for a long time licking the >tip. Joel: Cleanliness is next to Godliness. Except in this case. >She finally felt over it, tired at all after having sex with Frey in >such of a hard way and woke up the next day at 10 o'clock on the morning >with a headache, Tom: Woah, what happened last night? I hope I didn't sleep with my ex-BF! >and feeling really weak and tired, same as Frey felt after their most >exciting night together. Well, as a result, any of them could go >to the school that day. Crow: Except for Ami, who was too busy working in the cherry pits. >-------The End, by now------- >Well, and what about that pointless scool crap? who cares about the school >now, anyway? Joel: Hey, stay in school! Learning is just as good as sex. Crow: Yeah right Joel! >This time I guess I really exaggerated by putting this lot of sounds and >wild movements over here, Tom: It's a good thing I don't have an imagination. I wouldn't want to hear the sounds this guy put in. >and there, so even I am not making stories so long as I want, I think I'm >doing them allright. (All nod heads sarcastically) >So then, tell me what you felt after reading this stuff I've been doing for >you, only for you! well, even I enjoy this creative writting too! >You know my adress, or at least you should! shiro_usagi@hotmail.com Joel: Tom, arm your Damocles cyber-virus. It's got a new target. >"Remember, having sex without protection can cause the appearance of not >wanted babies and the possible transmission of VD (venereal diseases), so >have sex but have it safely, Sailor Moon says!" Tom: That might have been the only worthwhile bit in the lemon! (All exit) SOL BRIDGE "So my little lab rats, has your will been crushed yet?" asked Dr. Forrester. "Actually we're ok Dr. F." said Joel. "This book you sent up, 2001 SEX CLICHES really helped us out" Crow and Tom gasped. "2001" they said. "Yeah guys. It's really interesting. Here, cliche #1." At the mere mention of cliche the bots sprang into action. Tom floated up, grabbed the book from Joel, and tossed it to Crow. Crow stuck it in the airlock and immediately spaced it. "Well," said Dr. F, "Looks like you'll have to make do for the next fic. The next chapter in the Makoto and Frey saga. Including the REAL meaning of cherries!" "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH" screamed Joel and the Bots. FADE OUT