2000 RIVAL SCHOOLS THEATER 3000 Episode 1 "Lies and Pleasure" Written by: Lord Sailor Aaron MiSTed by: Hoshino "I'm not a Tux, dammit!" Mamoru (bishounenwannabe@fcmail.com) This fic is the property of the author, Lord Sailor Aaron. I'm just using it for the purposes of this MiSTing. No harm or insult is meant towards the author by doing this. I'm just doing this for the purposes of good, clean comedy...pretty poor comedy, but still comedy. All characters in here are the property of the comapny that makes some of the best fighting games, Capcom, Inc. Mystery Science Theater 3000 is the property of Best Brains, Inc. [MAMORU'S NOTE: Okay, This is the first time I ever did an opening sequence fro an MiSTing, so please don't castrate me if it sounds like crap ^_^;;;) JUSTICE HIGH SCHOOL MAIN OFFICE (It is a dimly lit room, with the only light in the room coming from a computer screen. There is someone sitting in a rather fancy-looking chair that blocks the screen from view. That person begins to chuckle evilly.) MALE VOICE: Perfect.... just perfect! Now I can start my experiment! (He presses on a button that is next to the computer.) FEMALE VOICE: Yes, Mr. Kagami? MALE VOICE: Are the subjects ready? FEMALE VOICE: Yes they are, sir. They should be waking up anytime now. MALE VOICE: Excellent. JUSTICE HIGH SCHOOL DETENTION HALL (It is a well-lit classroom, with desks and all. There is also a TV set hanging from the ceiling in one of the corners. On the floor lie five teenagers, all unconscious. A few seconds later, one of the teens, who is clad in a baseball uniform, starts to come to.) SHOMA: Wha--what the hell? (Suddenly, a bell rings... a really, really loud bell. This was loud enough to wake up the other four.) HINATA: (holding her head in pain) Ugh...what happened? BATSU: (doing the same) I dunno.. Last I remembered, I was on my way home from school. AKIRA: (taking off her biker helmet and looking around) Hinata? Batsu? What are you doing here? ROY: (looking around) This place looks familiar... (Roy looks around the room some more and sees a familiar logo.) ROY: Justice High School?! How did we get here? BATSU: Something's not right here... (A familiar laugh sounds through the PA system.) VOICE: I see you made it here safely... HINATA: (as she realizes who is behind the voice) Oh no...not again... (The TV screen turns on and shows a picture of a man that looks very familiar to everyone in the detention hall.) BATSU: HYO??!! SHOMA: Dammit!! I thought we got rid of you! AKIRA: So did I! HYO: Thought you'd get rid of me that easily? Please. It takes a lot more than what you and your little friends did to get rid of me. BATSU: Hyo, as soon as I find out where you are, I'm gonna--ARRRGH!!!!! (Batsu, along with the others, grab their heads in pain as a high-pitch noise comes out of the PA speaker. After a few seconds of torture, the sound cuts off.) HYO: You're gonna do nothing to me!! You will do as I say when I say! And trust me, you're not gonna like what I'll have you do during your stay at Justice High School! SHOMA: (still holding his head) Bastard... JUSTICE HIGH SCHOOL MAIN OFFICE (Hyo is sitting behind a desk, polishing his sword.) HYO: Now, my friends, since you foiled my previous plan to control the minds of people, I've come up with a new idea. You see, since certain people have fought their way out of the trance I put them in, I decided to use a method that will break their willpower and have no choice to submit to the mind control. And you five will be the first to witness my new master plan! JUSTICE HIGH SCHOOL DETENTION HALL HINATA: So what is he gonna do, torture us? JHS MAIN OFFICE HYO: Why Miss Wakana, you hit it right on the button! I'm gonna force you to read fan fiction so bad that you will be begging to be put under my control than to read more of it! [insert stock evil, manical laughter here] JHS DETENTION HALL (Everyone is standing around the TV, blinking.) ROY: That's torture? I mean, come on, he can do worse!! SHOMA: Yeah. He could have forced us to listen to Natsu's singing! Now *that's* torture!! JHS MAIN OFFICE HYO: Oh trust me, it's a lot worse than you think it is!! (he turns and looks offscreen) Kyosuke!! Send them their first vial of poison! KYOSUKE'S VOICE: (a little monotone) Yes...brother... HYO: (turning back) Okay, freshmen, your fic for today is "Lies and Pleasure" by Lord Sailor Aaron! It's one of those infamous Sailor Moon lemons that are common on the Internet. JHS DETENTION HALL ROY: (with a hint of sarcasm) Oh goody... AKIRA: No way I'm doing what that lunatic says... (The usual alarms and light effect common with MST3K go off.) HINATA: What is this, a fire drill? HYO'S VOICE: No, guinea pigs! That's the sign for you five to go through that door to your right and receive what's coming to you! BATSU: And if we don't? HYO: You'll die a slow, painful death. Now, GET IN THAT THEATER!!! (Everyone files through the door.) HYO: And have fun!! BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAA!!!! (7,6,5,4,3,2,1...) [MAMORU'S NOTE: I told you I suck at writing an opening sequence, didn't I??] --------- (The group enters the theater and sits down in this order: Roy, Shoma, Akira, Hinata, Batsu.) ROY: Well, at least the theater looks nice... HINATA: Eww...this floor's sticky! AKIRA: Hyo did say this was a lemon, right? HINATA: Uhh...yeah. AKIRA: Guess that explains the sticky floor! ROY: Shoma, don't contribute to the sticky floor, okay? SHOMA: Shut up, you-- BATSU: Guys, the fic's starting. > "Lies and Pleasure" ROY: -The Bill Clinton Story... >By: "Lord Sailor Aaron" AKIRA: Oh great. It's another one of those guys who thinks he's a Sailor Senshi. >This FanFic is Rated H (HENTAI). BATSU: The H also stands for "hurl", which we all will be doing after this fic's over! HINATA: We haven't even started reading it yet! How do you know that this fic is gonna be that bad? BATSU: Just a shot in the dark. >Anyone under 18 years of age is forbidden to >read this due to US guidelines. ROY: Good, then we don't have to read this! SHOMA: He's right! Let's go! (Everyone gets up and heads for the exit, only to find out that it's locked shut.) SHOMA: Damn door's locked!! HYO'S VOICE: Sorry, guys, but you're not getting out that easily! SHOMA: That's what you think!!! (Shoma begins beating the hell out of the door with his bat, but the door doesn't even budge. Seeing that they can't get out, the others sit back down. Shoma follows a few seconds later, grumbling something that's better off not being typed here.) >If you are 18 how ever.....join the party!!! AKIRA: This is gonna be a party? BATSU: I hate to see what kind of party it is, with this being a lemon and all... >Introduction: >---Serena and Ray had never, EVER been very good friends from the beginning >the Sailor Scouts were formed. SHOMA: Well, we now know that the author's a DiC-head. BATSU: We also know that the author can't spell Raye's name right. HINATA: Maybe Ray's a Star Light? >This, however, will soon change.... BATSU: I don't like the sound of that... ROY: Ooh, a lesbian lemon! AKIRA: Roy... >KEY: HINATA: -The Metal Idol... >** is a sound effect like **CRASH** or **giggle** or something AKIRA: Uhh..."giggle" is not a sound effect. It's a verb. BATSU: Nitpicker. > ^^ is thought to the charaters self like: ^^ hmmm....I wonder^^ ROY: ^^hmm....I wonder if we're gonna have to hurt the author after this fic ends...^^ SHOMA: How did you do that? ROY: A great magician such as I never reveals his secrets... > "" is talking > ( ) is my notes > >_____________________________________________________________________________ AKIRA: The thin line between love and hate... > > "Lies and Pleasure" >_____________________________________________________________________________ >--Part 1-- HINATA: --Readers 0-- >Location: To 2000 kyo Grand Central Mall > "OH NO!!! My parents are going to kill me Ray!" Serena exclaimed SHOMA: (Serena) They found the weed that's under my bed!! >" I >FAILED the big Math test! BATSU: (Serena) All of that single-digit addition confused me!! >Now I won't be able to go skiing with you, Mina, and >my family this weekend." "Well that's your own fault now isn't it Serena?!?" >Screamed Ray," ROY: (singing) Ohhhh....it ain't my fault!! SHOMA: (ditto) Did I do 'dat?! AKIRA: Missing commas, improper dialogue organization, more unnecessary capitalization... BATSU: Akira, what are you doing? AKIRA: Pointing out the mistakes in the fic. ROY: This whole fic's a mistake. >Now stop Whining. It's bad enough we aren't going to be able to >go skiing this weekend, but I don't want to hear your horrible voice!" HINATA: (Serena) Hey, it's not my fault!! Blame Terri Hawkes!! AKIRA: Long live Mitsuishi Kotono!! >" Why are you so mean? ROY: (Raye) Because I was written that way! >If you REALLY want, I will ask my parents if they can >take you guys anyway". "No, that's ok...I had some stuff planned anyway. I met >this really GREAT guy! SHOMA: (Raye) His name is Shoma Sawamura, and he has this real big-- HINATA: Shoma... SHOMA: --bat. I was gonna say *bat*, thank you very much! HINATA: Sorry. Natsu told me about your dirty mind... SHOMA: I DON'T HAVE A DIRTY MIND!!! >Might even be better that Tuxedo Mask!!" AKIRA: Well, that's not really saying much considering Tuxedo Mask is scum... >Serena Turns >around VERY quickly BATSU: -and breaks her neck. The end. >with her mouth almost dropped to the ground," NO WAY! ALL: WAY!! >That >is not possible! MY Tuxedo Mask is the best guy in ALL of Tokyo. ROY: Psh...yeah right. AKIRA: Yeah, well that's if he's the *only* guy in all of Tokyo... HINATA: I take it that you don't like Tuxedo Mask, Akira? AKIRA: What was your first clue? >Nobody can even >come close to his quality and character." SHOMA: Yup, no one's lower in those catergories than Cape-Boy. >"Since when can you tell if anyone >or anything has character?" Raye BATSU: My goodness! The author spelled Raye's name right!! HINATA: (pulls out a camera and takes a picture of the screen) This is a Kodak moment! >says in a laughing voice. " ohhhh, go away Ray. >If I knew that you were going to be mean today, I NEVER would of invited you to >go with me to the mall." " oh....I'm sorry Serena. SHOMA: (Raye) It's just that time of the month and-- GIRLS: SHOMA!! SHOMA: Sorry... >I always get carried away >and I over react...sorry!" ^^yeah right, after I say something mean and almost >out of line, she gets all sweet on me^^ AKIRA: (Serena) ^^That girl is so OOC...^^ >Serena says to herself. > " So, Ray, who is this GREAT guy anyway?" ROY: (Raye) I don't know his name, but he's a star football player for Pacific High School... >"Oh he's just someone that works >at the HATACHI MODELING AGENCY!!!!!" " NO WAY!!!" "YES WAY HINATA: STOP SCREAMING!!!! (everyone jumps out of their seats, startled by Hinata's sudden scream) BATSU: Geez, Hinata...calm down. >and he asked me if >he could take me out to lunch at that really fancy diner on 5th and main!" AKIRA: "Main" should be capitalized since it's a proper noun in that sentence... ROY: Fancy diner? Why doesn't that make sense? SHOMA: I dunno, Roy. I'm sure you Americans would know about these things... ROY: Shut up, shorty. SHOMA: (growls) >"WOW!" exclaimed Serena " He sounds great already! AKIRA: Oh yes...he's a model, therefore he's a great guy! Okay, I can believe that...on a cold day in hell... BATSU: Raye was right. Serena can't tell if anyone has character! >and you haven't even said >anything about his looks! " **giggle**. " He has short blonde hair, saphire eyes >and is about 5'9 and is a total HUNK!" (Everyone looks at Roy.) ROY: What? HINATA: Been cheating on Tiffany, Roy? ROY: Uhh...err...that's not me! >" Great Ray. He sounds nice!" SHOMA: (Raye) Of course he sounds nice!! He's the author of this fic!! AKIRA: He spelled "sapphire" wrong, missed a comma, described the height wrong... BATSU: (holding a roll of duct tape) Akira, don't make me use this... > --part 2-- ROY: Electric Boogaloo! >Location: 2 blocks from Serena's house > **Hmmmmmm...I wonder if Serena gets out of getting in trouble, she could >come on this date with me and my friend. SHOMA: Ah, a threesome... AKIRA: Quiet, Shoma. >She's been through this 'first date' >thing before so maybe she can coach me through a little!** SHOMA: If you know what I mean... ROY: Man, that was one long sound effect... HINATA: The author just did a T1 effect!! BATSU: Hinata, I don't think many people are gonna get that... AKIRA: That was supposed to be a thought. The author just screwed up his symbols. >**SMACK** **WHAM** ROY: **BAM** SHOMA: Thank you, ma'am!! >**CRINKLE** "SERENA!!!!!! Get down here this instant! and >tell your friend to leave now!" serena's father says. AKIRA: (Serena) Damn, he must've found that stash of condoms Darien keeps over here... >"well I guess he found your >paper, huh serena?" "yup, now comes the moment of truth. Bye Ray" BATSU: (Raye) Stop calling me Ray!! I'm not a guy!! >"by serena... >oh and by the way, if you don't get grounded, you can come with me and my >'guy' friend to the diner. " HINATA: Am I reading it wrong, or does Raye make *'guy' friend* sound like it's a bad thing? (everyone shrugs) >"really? thanks ray" "yeah, whatever" ^^ I can't >BELIEVE that I just told her that!!!! What was I thinking???? ^^ ROY: Ah...so she's been in Serena's weed too! >"bye" "bye!" >"Serena, do you know what this means?" her father asked. AKIRA: (reading from a dictionary) "This...1) That is near or present, either actually or in thought; 2) That is understood or has just been mentioned-- HINATA: Akira, that's not necessary! AKIRA: Sorry...(puts the dictionary away) >"yes daaaa.." SHOMA: That was the absolute worst Chichiri impression I've ever seen...no da!! BATSU: And that was the absolute lamest riff I've ever heard! >" Don't speak! >I'm talking ! This was one of the most IMPORTANT tests of the year. If you >keep this up, we will have to get REALLY strict and stop being your friends and >start being REAL parents. You are now grounded till further notice!!! " HINATA: (Serena's father) And no saving the world for the next three weeks!! >Serena: ^^ OH NO! that means I can't go with Ray and her friend to the the SHOMA: Uh oh, the fic's skipping! (Shoma walks to the screen and taps it a few times with his bat.) >diner tonight!!! I really want to go! AKIRA: (Serena) I must steal Raye's new friend from her like I did Darien!! >I have to lie! But that is bad!! But I'm >going to do it anyway!^^ ROY: You know, this goes against everything she says in those "Sailor Moon Says" segments... >"But dad, I....Um.....did a retest and I got a 89 on it...." Serena lied. BATSU: (Serena's dad) You expect me to buy that tripe?! You're grounded through high school!! That is if you ever make it there!! >"Really? Oh....well....I'm really sorry dear. I should have given you a >chance to speak. I'm sorry. Please forgive me." SHOMA: Mr. Tsukino's so whipped... AKIRA: If that worked so easily, then he should've asked if she could still go on the ski trip. BATSU: Don't try to apply logic to this fic, Akira...you'll only get a headache. >It's ok daddy! I love you!" ROY: (Serena) Now give me 300 dollars. I've got Sailor V memorabilia to buy! >"thank you" >--part 3-- HINATA: --Readers still 0-- >Location: Somewhere AKIRA: (singing) over the rainbow... SHOMA: You know, for such a tough, hard-knuckled biker chick, you have a great singing voice! AKIRA: (while hitting him over the head with her biker helmet) Shut up. >in Tokyo >Situation: Serena went to look for ray and her date and Serena's mother and Father >had gone to the Casino gambleing and weren't going to be home 'till Monday. HINATA: Okay, I know what's gonna happen! ROY: What? HINATA: Serena's parents and Sammy go away for the weekend, leaving the house to herself. Then Seiya comes over to stay. They start having relations. By some stupid plot contrivance, Serena's family won't be able to come back for another year and-- BATSU: Wrong fic, Hinata. >^^Oh rats! were did did Ray say they were going to meet? was it 6th and Broad >or 5th and Main? SHOMA: Yes, I'm pretty sure that there's a Main street somewhere in Tokyo. ROY: Well, there seems to be a Main Street in almost every city in the US... >or was it......^^ As Serena Pondered were her friend was Ray >was thinking the same-- AKIRA: Commas, people! Use the commas!! >"Were the HELL is Serena? And more importantly, where is >my date? BATSU: He ran into Lita and reminded her of her old boyfriend... >I hope this is the right place.." She looked at the piece of paper and >it said %th ROY: %th?? AKIRA: Unnecessary use of the shift key... >and main diner on it at 8:00. "Where is he??????" said ray softly. >-- ^^I give up!!^^ thought serena, HINATA: Hey, she submitted!! Does that mean that the fic's over? >^^I've been looking for almost an hour. and >now it's raining and I'm all wet. SHOMA: HINATA: Gee Shoma, I thought you said you didn't have a dirty mind... SHOMA: I don't! >I'm going home!!!^^ >**CRASH** BATSU: -Bandicoot? >Serena slammed the front door. She walked over to the answering machine >and there was a message she played it, it was from Sammy: ROY: (singing) Believe it or not, Sammy isn't at home... AKIRA: Run-on sentence... BATSU: (with the duct tape in hand) Akira, I'm warning you... AKIRA: (in a threatening tone)Come within a foot of me and I'll shove that roll of tape down your throat. BATSU: Err... > "Serena, this is Sammy. >Mom and Dad called and said that they were having a good time and I asked them if >I could go over Bobby's house for the weekend and they said ok. SHOMA: (Sammy) Oh, and if you see that a few of your panties are missing, don't worry. I took some with me...hee hee... >The number here >is 567-**** HINATA: That's an odd phone number... >( sorry, just incase ). ROY: Aww...and I was gonna make a prank call to that number too! >So have a good time without me ** BEEEEP ** SHOMA: Wow, the answering machine bleeps out bad words. HINATA: It's amazing what technology can do these days... >" good, I don't have to hear his stupid video game all night!" said serena. AKIRA: Guess Serena's sick of Parappa the Rappa... HINATA: Kick, punch, it's all in the mind... >--part 4-- ROY: -Citizens on Patrol! >location: Serena's House >Serena was sitting down watching an American Comedy called "Blazing Saddles". ROY: Classic Mel Brooks...gotta love it. SHOMA: I'd expect her to be more of a Jim Carrey fan myself. >She had a bowl of popcorn ( a HUGE bowl ) and was getting realy for the next movie. AKIRA: History of the World, Part 1? BATSU: Men in Tights? HINATA: Spaceballs? ROY: Oh sh*t, there goes the planet... >It was 11:00 pm. SHOMA: It's 11PM...do you know where your children are? ROY: That was lame, shrimp. SHOMA: (holding his bat across Roy's neck) Don't start with me... >**DING DONG** "I wonder who that is at this time of night??" Just to make sure >she looked out the side window only to see ROY: Freddy Krueger? HINATA: Raizo? ROY: Same thing. I mean with those fingernails and all... BATSU: That's my dad you're talking about, you know... >poor, wet. cold and shivering Ray standing >there in the heavy Rain. AKIRA: Capitalization of a common noun... HINATA: Are you gonna keep doing that? AKIRA: Yep. We ain't got nothing else better to do. >She quickly unlatched the locks and opened the door. >" Oh my god.... ROY: -They killed--nah, it's been overdone... >Ray, are you ok? What's Wrong?" Ray's cheeks were all red from SHOMA: -the hard, yet sensual spanking Yuuchiro gave her... AKIRA: SHOMA!! >crying >but Serena couldn't tell from the rain. " He never showed up" "WHAT?" ALL: SHE SAID HE NEVER SHOWED UP!!! >"the guy, >from the modeling agency led me on and he never showed up. AKIRA: Yup, that's models for you...they just a bunch of jerks! ROY: You know, Darien was a model at one time... AKIRA: I rest my case. >I was in the resturant >until it closed. BATSU: (Raye) They threw me out because I ate their entire supply of french fries!! >They had to take me outside and SHOMA: (Raye) -beat me to a bloody pulp! >I was there in the rain for almost >an entire hour. Then I thought of you and I came here." HINATA: And we have a "Girl runs to Teammate for comfort" lemon, ladies and gentlemen! >"Jeez Ray. You'll be >ok. I'll get you some dry clothes". >As serena ran upstairs, Ray SHOMA: -took the time to look at Serena's cute little... AKIRA: (energy building up in her hands) Skull... SHOMA: -baby pictures on the wall!! ROY: Good save, Shoma... >started to get out of her jacket. ^^Serena is being realy nice >considering I'm always mean to her... I wonder why... maybe she isn't that bad of a person^^ >Serena then came downstairs with the dry clothes. " here Ray, you can change >in the bathroom over there." HINATA: (Serena) It'll be easier to kill you in there--oops, did I say that out loud? >"thank you Serena" "I'll go and put some Hot >Chocolate on the stove" "ok" >Serena went and got the hot chocolate ready. It was done when Ray came out of the >bathroom. she had on one of Serena's XX-Large shrits AKIRA: That should be "shirts"... OTHERS: AKIRA!!! >that went down past her >knee's, one of Serena's pairs of Silky panties ( which SHOMA: -smelled kinda funny and had white spots-- AKIRA: (while hitting Shoma with her bike helmet) NO!! >ray enjoyed and said she >HAD to get a pair becuase they were very comfortable ) and no bra. BATSU: Sammy must have taken all of Serena's bras with him to Bobby's house... >"Here is your hot chocolate Ray." "Thank you Serena" "I'm watching those funny >American Comedy Movies. Care to join me? " "No thanks" "ok" ROY: You gotta love this riveting dialogue... BATSU: This is just your typical lemon with a poor setup. Nothing unusual. >serena went back to watching the movies. She was sitting in a small bean-bag >chair and was not paying attantion to Ray. AKIRA: Little did Serena know that Raye was silently aiming the butcher knife at her back... HINATA: I wish we didn't have to pay this fic any *attention*. >Ray was watching Serena. ^^ wow. I never knew how good looking meatball head >really is. No wonder Tuxedo Mask Chose her instead of me.^^ SHOMA: Oh yeah, just forget *everything* about their romance during the Silver Millenium! Mr. Tuxie-boy only wanted Serena because she was *so* good-looking. Right. ROY: I'm starting to wonder how much Sailor Moon this guy has seen. I mean, I know the DiC dub is bad, but it's not that bad. >Serena had bent over to get closer to the TV and now her ass was sticking out >ever so slightly. Ray was incrdibly turned on by this. SHOMA: Uh oh...here we go! BATSU: Do you think there's barf bags in here? HYO'S VOICE: Under the seats. And in case of a water landing, your seats can be used as floatation devices... BATSU: Uhh...thanks. >She started to think >about how she could walk up behind Serena and AKIRA: -stab her repeatedly with a butcher knife!! HINATA: Akira, you're scaring us... AKIRA: Sorry... I've been hanging around Edge and his knives too long. >just sit there and play with >Serena's ass for hours. HINATA: I think Serena wouldn't mind, but the donkey might object to it... (the others groan) BATSU: Poor, naive Hinata... >^^ Oh RAY! you sicko^^ Ray said to herself ^^ but the >more she thought about it the more she got aroused. Her juices were starting >to flow ROY: The juice is loose!! >and she was getting a little tinglie inbetween her legs. SHOMA: (Raye) Damn jock itch... BATSU: Speaking from experience, Shoma? SHOMA: Shut up. >She put her >hand down her shirt and started to play with he nipple. It got hard ALL: GYAHHHHHH!!!!! AKIRA: Oh...she was talking about her nipple! (everyone breathes a sigh of relief) >and she >moaned ever so softly. Serena had no idea what was going on becuase she was >still to much into the movie. HINATA: She was acting out the big fight scene from "Spaceballs". ROY: (Lord Helmet) I see your Schwartz is as big as mine... >Ray got up and went into the kitchen and played with her nipple a little more. AKIRA: See? She's gonna get a butcher knife and kill Serena! BATSU: Then why does she keep playing with her nipple? AKIRA: I dunno...maybe she gets off on the idea of killing people. >The TV was really loud so she wasn't worried about serana hearing. SHOMA: Yeah, but *Serena* might hear, though. >She was >still a virgin and so was Serena, Ray knew this for a fact. Ray got daring and >started to rub her Pussy. HINATA: Funny, I thought only Serena and Mina had cats... >She was getting very hot now and made up her mind to >sneek up on serena. ROY: (hums the music from "Psycho") SHOMA: I think porno music would be more appropiate for this fic... > Serena still watching the movie didn't look to see were Ray was. AKIRA: More missing commas... BATSU: Akira, please cut that out! AKIRA: Just trying to keep my mind occupied... >Ray came SHOMA: Man she's a quick one... >up from behind Serena and stuck her finger down the back of serena's >panties. Serena jumped in surprise and turned around quickly. ROY: -to see Raye pointing a huge butcher knife at her!! >She couldn't >believe Ray was doing this. ALL: NEITHER COULD WE!! >She tried to get Ray to stop but all ray did was >grab Serena and gave her a hard, long kiss. A passionate and sweet kiss. Serena >Got used to this and eventually let it go. Serena's hands went slowly towards >Ray's ass. She reaches it and gave it a big squeeze. HINATA: We should report these girls to the ASPCA for all the cruelty to animals in this fic. >Ray responded with a deeper >kiss and a moan of pleasure. BATSU: And we respond with a moan of pain... ALL: (make fake moaning noises) > Ray and Serena broke their kiss only long enough to catch there breath, >take off there shirts and look into eachothers eyes. ROY: STARING CONTEST!! ALL: I stare at you, you stare at me, whoever laughs first-- HINATA: Wait, that's not gonna work...there's five of us! ROY: You're right about that...ah well. >They did'nt even have to >speak. BATSU: Because they knew just what they're saying. ROY: I wish this fic would please stop explaining. AKIRA: I think I know what they're thinking. HINATA: Don't tell us, Akira. AKIRA: Why not? HINATA: 'Cause it hurts. >They knew they now loved eachother and they couldn't stop. ROY: (rapping) I thought I told ya that we won't stop, I thought I told ya that we won't stop! SHOMA: I wish this fic would stop. >They Leaned in >and kissed again. AKIRA: What's with the author capitalizing words at inopportune times? HINATA: Maybe it's a secret code... >Serena took her hand and went exploring. SHOMA: Afterwards, she went muff diving-- (Akira nails Shoma using her biker helmet.) SHOMA: Itai... >She found Ray's right >breast and kneaded it and squeezed it. BATSU: Then she put it in the oven and baked it. >Serena then broke the kiss and pushed Ray >back on her back and licked and sucked ROY: -and flickered and lickered... >her friends nipple. Ray moaned and groaned >from the pleasure. She had to bite her lip to keep from screaming out of control. AKIRA: Ah, she was reading this fic, too... >Serena then slowly kissed her way down to the silky panties that Ray was wearing. >She saw that they were already soaked with Ray's love juices. HINATA: Silly Raye spilled a whole glass of the stuff on them... ROY: "Ray's Love Juices"!! Made from concentrate! AKIRA: I've heard that somewhere before... >Serena leaned over >and took in the strong, but sweet smell of Ray's juices. She then slowly and >sexily slid them down Ray's legs. SHOMA: She slid the strong but sweet smell of Raye's juices down her legs? >She then put her hands on Ray's knee's and >opened her legs up and lowered herself in. Ray was now aching for Serena to lick >her pussy. HINATA: Eww...that wouldn't be a pleasant experience with all the fur and stuff. She might get hairballs! (The others sweatdrop at what Hinata said.) HINATA: What? >Ray moaned really load and Serena understood. Serena spread Ray's lips >with her index and middle finger and licked away. HINATA: Uhh...I don't think my virgin eyes should be seeing this... (Hinata covers her eyes.) ROY: (tossing a notepad and a pencil to Shoma) You might need this... SHOMA: For what? ROY: To take notes on what to do with Natsu. SHOMA: ARRGH!!! (Shoma swings his bat at Roy, who ducks. They both get out of their seats and begin to fight.) BATSU: Guess it's just you and me, Akira... AKIRA: Whoopee... >Ray screamed as pleasure shot >up and down her body and serena worked wonders on ray's insides. BATSU: What was Serena doing to her, surgery? >" Oh god Serena >your GREAT! Keep going!!! " Serena said nothing. AKIRA: -for she was suffocating to death. >Then she stuck her 2 fingers >inside of Ray as deep as they could go. Ray could feel her first orgasm building BATSU: -a house for the homeless... AKIRA: Actually, I prefer a crazy house...so we can put the author of this fic in it. (Shoma and Roy continue to battle as they go across the screen.) >up to the max. Serena knew it too and she then leaned in and started licking >Ray's clit. She rolled it inbetween her lips, and licked it and this set Ray off >the edge. AKIRA: -of a cliff, sending poor Raye to her death. The End. BATSU: Anyone up for some Marvel vs. Capcom? >"OH GOD!!! AKIRA: (God) Leave me out--(normal) Nahh...too many people do that one. >SERENA...I'M CUMMMMMMMMMMMING!!!!!! aaaaaaaarg!!!" BATSU: Wow...nice Charlie Brown impression by Serena... AKIRA: Wha? (Roy and Shoma are still fighting. Shoma throws a few baseballs at Roy, but he counters with an attack of his own, canceling it out. They move across the front of the screen.) BATSU: Hey! Down in front!! >Ray lifted her ass off the bean bag chair AKIRA: Oh good, we won't have to hear anymore donkey riffs since Hinata has her eyes covered. HINATA: (eyes still covered) But I still can hear! AKIRA: Erk... >and in to the air and came all over >Serena. BATSU: Hmm...is that a lemon cliche? AKIRA: I dunno...probably. >Serena licked up every last bit of cum. > "Wow, Serena, you were GREAT! Now I think it is your turn." Serena nodded >and kissed Ray on the cheek. AKIRA: Which cheek? BATSU: I dunno...the right one? AKIRA: No, I mean which *cheek*? BATSU: Akira... >Ray Grabbed Serena's ass and slid her up onto her. AKIRA: Oh no...not bestiality!! BATSU: Very funny, Akira... SHOMA: (from the back of the theater) BUNSHIN MAKYU!!! AKIRA: (looking back) Uh oh... BATSU: (ditto) DUCK!! (Akira dives to the floor. Batsu does the same, taking Hinata down with him. A second later, a bunch of baseballs fly over them and into the screen, bouncing off of them. Seeing that the danger has passed, the three get back up. Hinata continues to cover her eyes. Akira looks angry.) AKIRA: (putting her helmet on) I'm gonna stop this!! Be right back! (Akira goes offscreen. Sounds of fighting are heard, and a couple of yelps of pain. Finally, there is a sound of an ki blast going off and an elxplosion. About ten seconds later, Akira walks back to her seat, taking her helmet off.) AKIRA: (sitting back down) That should shut them up... >She then ordered Serena to stand up, BATSU: Then she told her to sit down...and then fight, fight, fight!! >take off he panties and sit down on Ray's >Mouth. Serena did just that. Serena squated down over Ray and Ray feasted on >Serena's wet pussy with a few of serena's gloden pubic hair tickling her nose. AKIRA: Run-on sentence... BATSU: Raye's a very cunning linguist. >After about 5 minutes of this, Serena Screamed out of control and yelled "OH Ray! BATSU: (Serena) GET ME OUT OF THIS FIC!!! >OH GOD. YEAH!!! Oh...I'M CUMMING!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..." AKIRA: Megami-samaaaaaaaaaaaaa... (Roy and Shoma return to their seats, their clothes tattered.) SHOMA: Dammit Akira, I almost had him! ROY: Oh shut up, Shoma! Did we miss anything? BATSU: Other than a lame lemon scene, nothing. >Ray also licked up all the cum. They both fell back and kissed eachother. >They fell asleep on the floor. BATSU: Okay, Hinata, it's over. HINATA: (uncovering her eyes) About time... >--Ending-- ROY: Oh good, we're almost done! > The next morning Ray woke up and smelt the lovely scent of SHOMA: -sex in the air... >Pancakes and >Bacon that Serena had gotten up and perpared. " This looks great Serena" said >Ray as she walked into the kitchen. AKIRA: (Raye) Are these cajun-style pancakes or are they just burnt? >"Thank you Ray. I had a Great time last night. >You are a wonderful person." "Thanks Serena. You were pretty good yourself". BATSU: (Raye) It's amazing to see you do something without klutzing up! >They both smiled at eachother knowing that all the fighting, yelling and >bickering were over and they could be friends, scouts and lovers for the rest >of their lives. They ate breakfast and watched TV for the rest of the day. HINATA: They watched a Pauly Shore marathon. (everyone shudders) HYO'S VOICE: Pauly Shore marathon....that's not a bad idea for torture! OTHERS: THANKS A LOT, HINATA!!! HINATA: Doh... > On Monday, Serena's parents came home. " Hi dear. Hope you had fun while >we were gone." said her mother. " I did....believe me, I did" said Serena >smiling to herself. ROY: (Serena) You've should've seen the huge house party I had while you were gone! >" I'm going to call the school and find out if we can get >your math average for the this marking period since that 89 probably brought up >your average". " ok" replied Serena. ^^ Being yelled and grounded for eternity >for lieing about my grade doesn't matter to me now. AKIRA: (Serena) However, keeping my life does, since my dad's gonna kill me when he finds out that I saw his stash of hentai magazines! >I had a great time with Ray. >And that's all that matters to me now^^........"SERENA!!!!!!!!!!!!!" SHOMA: (Serena's dad) STOP THIS CRAZY THING!!!! (everyone looks at Shoma) SHOMA: I saw it on an old American cartoon... >"OH NO!!! >HERE WE GO AGAIN!!!!!!!!! ** clears throat ** YES FATHER?????????" > THE END BATSU: Finally!! HINATA: Dang...there's more... >{___________________________________________________________________________} >This story was written by me, "Lord Sailor Aaron". This is my first Hentai >Fanfic ROY: -and it shows... >so please don't burn me too bad. ALL: (like the villagers on Holy Grail) A WITCH!! A WITCH!! BURN HER!! BURN HER!! >I did my best with spelling but I don't >have spell check on notepad AKIRA: Not to mention grammar check... SHOMA: I think this guy needs his head checked. >so I'll do better next time. ROY: Yeah... next time he'll use *two* hands when he tries to write a lemon. >You'll be sure to see more material from me HINATA: With our luck, it's highly possible... >in the future on this site!!!!! >I would like to thank my brain BATSU: -or lack thereof... >and Sailor Jupiters Fanfic Archive for making >this all possible!!!!!!!! >SEE YA AROUND!!! =) AKIRA: We hope not! ^_^ >Feel free to e-mail any comments to me at: blyooo@hotmail.com SHOMA: Oh, I'll give you some comments, alright! HINATA: (looking back) Hey! The doors are open! BATSU: Let's go! (The group exits.) (1,2,3,4,5,6,7...) ---------------- JUSTICE HIGH SCHOOL DETENTION HALL (Everyone is just sitting around. Shoma and Roy both have on fresh clothes now.) BATSU: Now I know what Hyo meant by torture. That was an evil fanfic! HINATA: It sure was! Who in their right frame of mind would write such trash about a great show such as Sailor Moon? SHOMA: (while polishing his bat) That's an easy one... every hentai on the internet. AKIRA: Well, at least no one has wrote and lemons about us yet... BATSU: That's true... Imagine all the possibilites... like Kyoko and Hideo. SHOMA: Or Tiffany and a tentacle demon... ROY: Or Shoma, Natsu, and Shoma's bat... SHOMA: (a little angry)Or a Roy/Boman yaoi fic... AKIRA: WIll you two cut it out?! You might give people ideas! HYO'S VOICE: Too late!! JUSTICE HIGH SCHOOL MAIN OFFICE (Hyo is sitting at his desk, polishing his sword.) HYO: The biker chick is right! As soon as I publish that conversation online, then I'm sure someone is bound to write an abusive lemon about y'all! And I'll be sure to get my hands on it so I can torture you with it! AHAHAHAHAHAAA!!! DETENTION HALL (Everyone is shocked at Hyo's last comment... well, everyone except for Akira, who's a little pissed.) AKIRA: (putting on her biker helmet) Shoma...Roy...I'm gonna give you a five-second head start! SHOMA: Uh oh...(runs for it) ROY: Wait for me! (follows Shoma) AKIRA: 5...4...3...2...1... (Akira bolts after Shoma and Roy. Batsu and Hinata just stand there and watch.) END ------------------------------------------------------------- MAMO-CHAN'S NOTES: Yay! I'm finished!! This is the first episode of my next set of MiSTings, and also the first one that I'm gonna send to SVAM. I just hope they like it...^_^;; Oh, I forgot to mention that this is the first time I had both an opening and a closing sequence for my MiSTings. If you seen the ones on my page at [PLUG ALERT!!] http://fly.to/Tachibana_Zone, then you know I haven't done an opening and closing sequence because well... I suck at it, as you can see. Now for the legalities and stuff. Rival Schools and its characters are the property of Capcom, Inc. MST3K is the property of Best Brains, Inc. This fic is the property of Lord Sailor Aaron. I'm just using his fic for the purpose of comedy. I mean no harm to him or anyone else by any of the riffs in this fic. Now with that out of my way, let me tell you what fics I'll be MiSTing in the future...(shuffles through his papers) Aw, dammit! There are none! Well, until I find some more material, this is Hoshino Mamoru saying buh-bye!! Hoshino Mamoru (bishounenwannabe@fcmail.com) WEBSITE PROMOTION TIME!! http://fly.to/Tachibana_Zone The webpage of the great Ukyo_Tachibana99 (Bishounen version)! MUSIC!! BABES!! LAUGHS!! DRAMA!! SEX--no wait, there's no sex...ANYWAY VISIT THIS PAGE!! YOU WON'T REGRET IT!! AND PLEASE SIGN THE GUESTBOOK!! Completed on Thursday, August 05, 1999 0