MYSTERY KAIJU THEATER 3000 Episode 004 "Alternate Universes" Original Version By: Florida Oranges MST By: Christian "The Flashman" Rogers This story contains Lemon elements. Read at own risk. Reel 1. (Beep) _________________ In the not too distant future, Next Monday AD. There were three evil space monsters, Making things tough for you and me. They tried to destroy the human race. Each one of them was a big nutcase. Comander Aso lured them to a trapped place, Annnnd then he shrank the three and trapped them all in spaaace. (Kaiju: WE... HATE... YOOOOUUUU!) I'll send them awful fanfics, The worst, I can find. (La la la) They'll have to sit and read them all, And that way they'll be serving time. (La la la) Now keep in mind none can control, where the fanfics begin or end. (La la la) They'll try to keep their sanity, Since they're the best of friends. KAIJU ROLL CALL! Cambot... (You're on) Space Godzilla... (Blue is cool) King Ghidora... (We are not ammused) GIGAAAAAAAAAAN! (Polly want a BIG cracker) If you're wondering how they eat and breath, And other science facts (La la la) Just repeat to yourself: "They're Toho Kaiju, I should really just relax." For Mystery Kaiju Theater 3000 (Guitar Twang) __________________ SUPER X 4 0800 Space Godzilla was yelling into a celular phone, "What do you MEAN 'rejected'?! I battled my goddamed heart out for that damn show! Where the hell do YOU get the coconuts to reject it?! Handed down from above?! FINE! I'll talk to THEM later..." Ghidora noticed that Cambot was broadcasting and said, "Welcome all. As you can see, our friend here is currently upset over the rejection and deletion from history of a certain event from another certain event with the initials AAA." Ghidora leaned closer to the camera as he whispered, "Between you and us... we think it's not that big a loss." "NOT THAT BIG A LOSS!" Space Godzilla roared as he slammed the phone down and whirled on his three headed companion, "At least I WON my match! Now our only representative is HIM!" Space Godzilla waved his hand at Gigan, who was currently lying down on a hospital bed, in a full body cast with his arms and legs elivated as a heart monitor beeped occasionaly. Ghidora sighed, "We think you're both over reacting." "We are NOT over reacting!" Space Godzilla and the "miraculously" recovered Gigan exclaimed. "We'll talk about this later," Space Gozilla growled as he saw the incoming message light. G-FORCE HQ 0805 Misato was face down on the main councle. Sobbing. SUPER X 4 0806 The kaiju blinked and then looked at each other before looking back at the screen. "Ummm..." Gigan asked, "Are you okay?" G-FORCE HQ 0807 Misato didn't look up, still sobbing as Aso stepped into the shot. The G-Force commander looked at his first officer and sighed before looking back at the screen. "You'll have to forgive her. She just learned her boyfriend got trapped with some old friends of yours." On the viewscreen, the kaiju blinked again as Misato raised her head slightly and wailed, "He even let me start calling him DUANE!" "Well..." Aso said as he coughed into his fist and Misato's head slammed back down onto the councle, "It's time for todays fic." Misato muttered, her head still down, "Do we HAVE to?" Aso blinked. "Of COURSE we have to! It's what we're using the taxpayers money for!" "I thought that was for your food bill," Gigan quipped as the other kaiju snickered. "Can't we send them something nice instead?" Misato sniffled as she raised her head again, "I mean, they've behaved themselves, why not reward them for that good behavior? There's enough pain and suffering in the world already." Aso walked over to Misato and took a sniff of the air around her... he also noticed his boot collide with an empty beer bottle as he said, "You... are drunk." "Yup." Misato said, giggling slightly, "Can we still do it anyway?" Aso sighed, "I suppose we COULD send them chapter one of 'Turn The Page'..." SUPER X 4 0812 The kaiju jumped around in celebration. "YEEEESSSS!" Gigan exclaimed, "ROCK ON!" Misato's expression on the viewscreen suddenly changed from a friendly one to one of pure rage. "Rock..." she growled, "Was that supposed to be some kind of JOKE?! Are you MAKING FUN OF ME?!" All three prisoners shook their heads, intimidated by the broken hearted fury that glared at them through the viewscreen. "Now now..." Ghidora said nervously, "Don't do anything you'll regret..." "Oh..." Misato snarled, "I am NOT going to regret this. Enjoy this little ludrid lemon by Florida Oranges called 'Alternate Universes'. Beware, it has all the daily requirements to have a BAD time." Misato stabbed the button and Aso, wide-eyed, said, "Katsuragi... I'm impressed. That was..." Misato whirled on Aso and said, "If you weren't my superior officer, I'd tell you to..." That was when the comunications cut off. "Are we in trouble?" Gigan asked. "Well..." Space Godzilla said, "I'd say getting a fic named after a citrus fruit would count as trouble." "We should try and cheer her up later," Ghidora said, "We MUCH prefer her as a friend." The flashing lights and sirens went off. "We'll have to think about it later..." Space Godzilla said, "WE'VE GOT FANFIC SIIIIIGN!" %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% [Door 6: It's divided horizontaly. One half slides up into the ceiling and the second slides down into the floor.] [Door 5: It's divided into nine small squares. The lowest right block folds onto the on next to it, which folds onto the one next to it, then goes to the one above it, and the process repeats until the last one slides into the wall.] [Door 4: It's a rubix cube. You try to solve it, then give up and smash it with a sledgehammer.] [Door 3: It's Manda. You show him a model of Atragon and he slinks away.] [Door 2: It's a wall of Barney and Minya dolls. You take great pleasure in bowling them over.] [Door 1: A large vault door. The wheel spins to the left and the door swings open to the right.] %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% (The crew enter and take their seats. Ghidora on the left, Space Godzilla in the center and Gigan on the right.) >Hi again everybody. All: HI DOCTOR NICK! >This is a hentai fanfic, so go away if you're under 18. Gigan:(French Accent) Go away you silly little minors. >It's an alternate universe thing so thecharacters >are a little different. Hope ya like it! Send comments to Space Godzilla: Satan666@Hell.com >FloridaOrange_99@hotmail.com > >Also, a story like this should have cussing but I don't like to say or even >write cuss words so here's a key: Ghidora: The key to our hearts? Space Godzilla:(Imitating author) I am the Keymaster... I search for the Gatekeeper. >@@@--the "a-word" (as in a donkey) >****-the "f-word' (as in humping) Ghidora: Well, **** us. Gigan: Yes, that always is a four-star event. Space Godzilla: Gigan... >$$$- the 'b-word' (as in a female dog) >--- - the 'b-word (as in an illegitimate child) >%%- the 'd-word' Gigan: %% is a curse word? Space Godzilla: Well, if you want to get technical... Ghidora: God %% it! >###-- the 'h-word' Gigan: "Haught"? Ghidora: God ****ing %% it all to ###! >Alternate Universes >by FloridaOrange Space Godzilla: Wait a minute. The fic can't start yet! What about ^^^^-- the s-word (as in human waste)? Ghidora: Or ++-- the p-word (as in male organ)? Gigan: Or @@-- the other p-word (as in female organ)? Space Godzilla: Or $$$-- the w-word (as in one who uses their body for money)? Ghidora: Or &&&&&-- the n-word (as in a person of color)? Gigan: And last but not least, who could forget )))-- the other d-word? Space Godzilla/Ghidora: Other d-word? Gigan: Trust me, you'll know it when you hear it. > Hikari raised an eyebrow at the young girl who burst into his >office. She was all smiles, golden hair and round breasts. Ghidora:(Imitating Hikari) The Rock DEFFINATLY smells what you're cooking! Gigan: He'll probably get to taste it too... lucky ---. >Her pink and white ensemble made her look like an angel. (All three break out singing "Creul Angel's Thesis".) > "And what might you be here for?" he asked. > "Isn't it obvious? I'm here to audition," she replied. Space Godzilla:(Imitating young girl, singing) Joy to the world... (The others look at him.) Space Godzilla: Well... it said she looked like an angel, right? Gigan/Ghidora:(Imitating Raven) Whatever... > "You? You want to work _here_?" he laughed. "Explain yourself, >child." > "I'm twenty-one, and I'm not a child!" she snapped. "But anyway. >Well, I've always been a little slut. Space Godzilla: Wait wait... shouldn't that be, "I've always been a little !!!!"? Ghidora: The censor's asleep at the switch. > I like sleeping with >men, and I've had a lot of experience. It's really lucky that I'm barren, Gigan:(Imitating Church Lady) How conviiiiiienient. >so I'm never gonna get pregnant. I mean, look at me. Ghidora:(Imitating girl) I'm the Typhoid Mary of STDs. >I like to sleep around, I've got a lot of experience, I'll never get >pregnant, and I look pretty %% good. Unconvinced?" she smiled and Space Godzilla: ... Proceded to repeat herself one more time. >took off her shirt. Walking close, she kissed him hard while rubbing her >breasts against his chest. Gigan: WHOA! HELLO! (Big grin) I guess they're making Boogie Nights 2! Space Godzilla: It's sure as hell not Showgirls 2. > He chuckled. "Time for your audition," he agreed.He squeezed her >breasts hard and bit her nipples through her silky bra. Ghidora:(Imitating woman) YEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUCH! > "Oh, %%, yes yes yes," she moaned breathily. She tore off his shirt. >Her hands flew to the fly of his jeans, but her stopped >her. Ghidora: Oh good, she regained control of her senses. Gigan: She flutteringly flew to the fly to free the flee from being fettered but the flight to the fly was flustered by the free flagerent fruity farce flatulance of the fic. *Whew* Space Godzilla: I'm impressed. All those f-words and not a single **** among them. > "Not yet, baby," he said, as he removed the girl's bra. She moaned >as he pleasured her breasts. The pinches, licks, and >bites turned her nipples rock hard. She rubbed her nipples provocatively. Ghidora:(Imitating woman) Move your head out of the way... I'm trying to rub them, %% it! >Hikari moaned, feeling himself become aroused. His >pants felt much too tight and hot but he resisted the urge to remove them. Space Godzilla:(Imitating Hikari) Being in pain is FUN! Gigan: The rallying cry of masochists everywhere... >Instead, he suckled the young whore's rock hard nipples Ghidora: Shouldn't that be "young $$$"? Now the censor's just hitting the button at random... >and kneaded her plump, firm breasts. She ran her her hands all over his back >and through his hair, pulling him against her. Gigan:(Imitating girl) Just a little longer, Wild Stallion... then I'll snap your neck like a twig and my mission will be complete. Space Godzilla: That riff has a little Punch to it, I see. > When he tired of her tits, he pulled down her shorts, throwing them >under his desk. Ghidora: For we all know men get bored with big, firm, rounded breasts. Gigan:(Imitating Hikari) Ho-hum... what else ya got? > "Finally," the girl panted. "I was wondering when you were finally >gonna **** me." > "I'm not going to--yet," Hikari said. Space Godzilla:(Imitating Hikari) Because I'm an evil ---! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! > She grinned. "Well! You're one of my better partners. You know how >to make it last." > He grinned back. "Kneel," he ordered. Space Godzilla:(Imitating Skelator) KNEEEEEEEL BEFORE YOUR MASTER! > The slut kneeled on the plush carpet of Hikari's office. He stood >there and looked at her for a moment. It was an arousing >sight--a young, beautiful woman, obviously aroused, kneeling in nothing more >than her panties. (Gigan nods dumbly as he drools. Space Godzilla sighs and smacks him on the back of the head.) > She moaned, wanting him to touch >her. "I'm so hot," she gasped. "Please-please t-touch me," she whimpered. Ghidora:(Singing) Hold me... thrill me... kiss me... KIIIIIIILLLLLLL MEEEEEEEEEE! All: Please? > Hikari nodded. So she knew how to make a man feel like he was doing >her right. Of course, _he_ was, All:(Deadpan) Of course. >but some men didn't, and telling a customer he didn't **** right was bad for business. He >knelt behind her and rubbed her pussy through the thin >silk thong. She moaned and rubbed her behind against him, giggling at the >feel of his swollen cock. Space Godzilla:(Imitating girl) Haha... I'm sorry... it's just so... so... MWAHAHAHAHA! > Hikari laughed when he caught >scent of her love honey. He slid his fingers under her panties and rubbed >his fingers in it, Then he thrust two fingers into her love- >box. Ghidora: Is that anything like a lunch box? Space Godzilla: Eww... I hope not. > "Oh, yeah," she moaned as he ****ed her with his fingers. After >several minutes of that, he went to her other side and pulled >the silk thong down so he could like her vagina. Gigan: Well, I don't know about HIM but... > The little whore's clit came forward. Ghidora:(Imitating Hikari) OW! My eye! > Hikari rubbed it with his fingers until she had >an orgasm. He licked it and kissed it and bit it as she filled his mouth >with her love juice. Space Godzilla: Sex scenes by Koopa. > She moaned. Her body was sheened in sweat. She wanted Hikari to fill >her lovebox so badly, she couldn't stand it. Ghidora:(Imitating girl) PLEASE... let me have a turkey sandwitch in it. Gigan:(Imitating girl) And PLEASE... don't forget the milk. Space Godzilla:(Imitating girl) Oh GOD! I want the last cookiee in there too! >"Oh, gawd, Hikari, please please please **** me," she cried lustily. She >laughed out loud when he pulled of his pants and >underwear. "oh, terrific!" Ghidora:(Imitating girl) This means the fic's almost over! > hIs cock was the biggest she'd ever seen. The tip already glistened >with his own juice. "Get down on your knees and elbows," >he ordered her. Gigan:(Imitating Hikari) Call me Queen! HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHGACK! Space Godzilla:(Holding Gigan by the throat) Never do that again. (Lets go) > "Ohhh, kinky," the girl replied as she obeyed. "But why? I don't do >anal until a guy's ****ed me in the traditional way at >least once." Ghidora: Ladies and gentlemen... a hooker with morals! Space Godzilla/Gigan:(Blandly) Yay. > "Oh, don't worry, I'm not going to penetrate your @@@--although it >does look pretty %% good." Gigan:(Imitating Hikari) Except you forgot to... Space Godzilla: GIGAN! Gigan:(Imitating Hikari) ... take off your bikini bottom when sunbathing. The tan lines look funny. > "Why, thank yo--" she began but broke off with a cry as Hikari slid >himself deep into her, mounting her like an animal. Ghidora:(Singing) I wanna **** you like an animal... >His balls rubbed against her wet pussy. She screamed as he moved around, >pulling out and thrusting in again, hard. Love juice >dripped down her legs. Gigan:(Singing) Love drops keep dripping down my eeeennnnd... (Ghidora and Space Godzilla blast him with their Gravity Bolt/Corona Beam attacks.) > A true climax came when Hikari's seed gushed into her lovebox. She >arched against him, forcing him in as deep as he >could go. Ghidora: All those amazngly pleasurable two inches... > He continued to **** her, fondling her breasts while he did the >deed. > "Oh gawd yes do it me yesyesyes **** me hump me, oh yes do it >hardhardhardhardhard!!" Usagi screamed in a most (All three facefault.) Space Godzilla: USAGI?! Oh sure... that's in character. NOT! Ghidora: Well... we must remember the title IS "Alternate Universes"... Space Godzilla: So now all the Senshi work in a whorehouse... Gigan: Yeah... and instead of blowing the Negaverse Generals away they just BLOW them away. Ghidora: Let us, this time. Gigan... >provocative way. Hikari drew himself out but before she could blink he >thrust his cock into her tight little @@@. She shrieked and Gigan: ... was shocked that he'd just broken every law of the male annatomy. >thrust her @@@ up, pushing him in deep. The feel of his balls against her >buttcheeks was very arousing. She moaned as he >kneed her cheeks and breasts with strong hards. After what seemed like aeons Ghidora: Aeons? What? Was it so short Oranges had to make up a new unit of time? >of hot sex and screams, he ****ed her pussy again, >quickly, then rolled off of her. All:(Singing) Rollin' rollin' rollin'... > "Well?" she panted, as sweat rolled down her face and breasts. > "You passed the audition, I think. All:(Singing) I think... I think you better recognize... >You start tomorrow, Usagi. Be >here at ten A.M., and be ready, cuz you'll be doing our >most frequent and high-paying customer, Mamoru Chiba." (Everyone facefaults again.) Space Godzilla: Good lord... could you imagine the scenes when she discovers that Tuxedo Kamen and Mamoru are the same guy?! Gigan:(Imitating Usagi) Tuxedo Kamen-sama... it's amazing... you and Mamoru-san both have the same birthmark on your... Ghidora: GIGAN! Gigan: ... lower stomach. >* * * Ghidora: Three stars... Lenord Maltin, how we hate thee. >Well, what'd ya think? Email me and tell me! I'm working on a sequel as you >read this so look forward to it. (Or not...) Ghidora: We think we speak for everyone in the multiverse when we say... All: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! > --------------------------------------------------------------------- Space Godzilla: And let's limbo on outta here! (The three limbo under the line and leave out the door.) %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% [Door sequence in reverse] %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% "So what do we do?" Gigan asked as he and the others huddled around. "I don't know... but we HAVE to do something..." Space Godzilla muttered, "Misato's the nice one. She'd always sneak me extra candy... when you were sick with the Orion Pox, Ghidora, she was always calling to check every five minutes... and don't thnk we don't know about those occasional porno mags she snuck up here for you, Gigan." Gigan sweatdroped. "So what SHOULD we do?" Ghidora asked, "We suggest something funny. Something that will bring a smile to her face and let her forget her troubles for a little while." "What do you suggest?" Gigan exclaimed in frustration, "We dress up as a rock band and sing something to the tune of Blue Monday?" G-FORCE HQ 0915 Misato looked up as the incoming message light blinked. Now less intoxicated then before, she felt terrible for taking out her woes on her (kind of) friends. She slapped the light and was greeted by darkness. SUPER X4 0916 "Ladies and gentlemen..." a voice that sounded like Gigan's said in the darkness, "Boys and girls, children of all ages... for your listening pleasure... MONSTER STOMP! Singing their hit single... BLUE FANFIC!" Suddenly, the bridge of the Super X 4 was illuminated with multi-colored lights and smoke as a kareoke version of "Blue Monday" cued up. To the left of a large drumset in the middle of the bridge was Gigan, dressed in punk rocker clothes and with a large, pink mohawk glued on top of his head. In his arms, he cradled an electric guitar, the tip of his right hook hovering over the strings like a pick. To the right, was Space Godzilla, also dressed in punk rocker clothes and with black shades over his eyes as he stood in front of a microphone. Sitting at the drums, was Ghidora, a drum stick in his left and right most mouths, "playing" the melody as Space Godzilla began to sing... +++ How does it feel... to riff me like you do... When you dimayed when you saw me... and then tore me apart... I thought I was mistaken... I though I heard some praise... But tell me how do I feel... tell me now how do I feel. How does it feel... How should I feel... Tell me how... does it feel... to riff me like you do... Those who came before me... Known for their perversions... And from unfinished to completed... They don't wanna be riffed no more... And I still find it so hard... To accept the jokes you make... But I'm quite sure that you'll tell me... When you wish I'd go away... I see a fic in the future... That will thrill and amaze... But if it wasn't for your distractions... I'd be a more popular fic today... And I thought I was mistaken... And I thought your jabs were weak... Tell me how do I feel... tell me now how should I feel... Now I stand unreaden... I thought I told you to leave me... when I want someone to read... Tell me how does it feel... when your jokes grow old... How does it feel... how should I feel... Tell me how does it feel... to riff me like you do... How does it feel... how should I feel... Tell me how does it feel... to riff me like you do... How does it feel... how should I feel... Tell me how does it feel... to riff me like you do... +++ The music faded out as all three kaiju took a bow. Misato just stood there, looking at the screen with wide eyes. "That..." she tried to say, lost for words," That was so... so..." She then lost it completly and fell over laughing. "Guys... what was THAT for?" she asked in-between laughs. "Well..." Gigan said, "You've done some nice stuff for us and you're taking this really hard so we decided to do something nice back... ya know?" G-FORCE HQ 0922 Misato stood and wiped a tear away. "Thanks guys," she said as she ended the transmition. Behind her, Aso said, "It's working... They're reforming." "Maybe," Misato replied, "Only time will tell." "Push the button, Katsuragi." "Yes sir." *FWOOSH!* Authors Notes: Took me long enough, didn't it? Well, now that another semester of collage is over (and working at the movies with Star Wars going on, will really only take up not that much of my summer time) I'll probably be able to get back into this more... if my other fanfics don't distract (yes, I know, I've made this promise before. ^_^;) Well, next up, a team-up with Jamie on a fic called "Godzilla VS Godzilla"... this one should be fun. AWARDS: Yes, I've ACTUALLY won awards for my MSTings. Addmitidly, with a LOT of help, but still, I'm happy. SILVER MALLY FOR BEST LEMON MSTING: Coming of Munihausen (Along with Alicia "Lynxara" Ashby and Dinobot) SILVER MALLY FOR WORST LEMON: Coming of Munihausen (Didn't write it... but I was there to riff it) That's it. It's not much but I'm happy to have any at all. ^_^ Until next time, Christian "The Flashman" Rogers May The Spirit Remain MMM BEFFY!