Disclaimer:This is a MSTing of a work of fiction created by another author. Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be considered to exist. Also I do not own anything else mentioned in this fic, namely Sailor Moon, any anime references, or anything else anyone happens to own. However, I do own this MSTing, so contact me before you decide to put it on you're site. Oh, and not to sound like most horrible writers, but when somethings in *'s it means an action or a setting, and when a word's in ()'s it means one of the characters is impersonating that voice. And now, on with the MSTing!!! *Bridge of the SOL* *Mike, Tom, and Crow are on the bridge, looking as they always do* "Hi everybody! We're just here on the SOL, doing absolutely nothing." Mike said. "Wait a minute, isn't there supposed to be a theme song?" Crow asked. "Well yeah, but the author hasn't... I mean it's still in development." Mike explained. "Oh, ok." *silence* "I'm not used to this much time before the commercial sign. It's kind of creepy." Tom said. "Yeah, it is..." Mike stated. *Yellow light blinks* "There we go." *hits the button* *Commercials for Sci-fi, and any products you happen to like.* *Bridge of the SOL* "And we're back. Unfortunately Tom's not here because... well he just kinda disappeared." Mike said. "Yeah, just poof and he was gone!" Crow exclaimed. *Red light blinks* "Looks like Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde are calling" Mike said as he hit the button. *On Deep-13 Dr.F is sitting in a cushy chair, and TV's Frank is not onscreen* "Why hello my little lab rat's, how are we doing today?" Dr.F asked. *SOL* "We're ok, but Tom just disappeared!" Mike said, sounding worried. *Deep-13* "Yes, well, I needed him for my invention this week. Which reminds me, where's you're invention?" Dr.F asked with an impatient tone. *SOL* "It's right here sir, I'll go get it" Mike said as he headed offscreen" "He'll just be a minute" Crow said. *Deep-13* "Well obviously" Dr.F said, clearly angry at the robot's nerve. "Well, I might as well show my invention first. Frank! Frank get in here!" Dr.F yelled. *Frank drag's a large box onscreen, then collapses in exhaustion* "Yes, thank you Frank" Dr.F said, kicking Frank out of the way. "Well, this insidious invention is something I like to call, for lack of a better word, evil Servo." Dr.F said proudly as he opened the box and took out a small robot from it. *SOL* "Servo!" Crow yelled. *Deep-13* "I know do not know you designation Cro31257. I know only to serve Dr. Clayton Forrester with unswerving loyalty, and incredible skill." The robot said. "Yes, yes indeed my evil companion. Together we shall rule the world!" Dr.F exclaimed. *SOL, but Mike is back with a small box of his own* "So what's up Crow?" Mike asked. "It's Tom, he's gone evil!" Crow sobbed. "What!!!???" Mike yelled! *Deep-13* "Well, actually this is just a copy based off Servo, in fact he should be arriving very soon." Dr.F said. *SOL, where Mike and Crow are sobbing* "He was such a good robot, and now..." Mike sobbed. "Sure I hated him, but in a good way damn it!" Crow said as coolant leaked from his eyes in the robot equivalent of tears. "Uh, guys? I'm right here." Tom said as he walked onto the bridge. "Oh" Mike and Crow said in unison. *Deep-13* "As much as I enjoy seeing you crying you're eyes out like ninnies, I believe you have an invention to show me." Dr.F said becoming impatient. *SOL* "Well it's quite I coincidence that you made a evil Servo this week" Mike said as he reached into the box, "Because we made a good version of you." *Mike pulls out a full size replica of Dr.F from a box clearly too small to hold it* *Deep-13* "Well, I'll give you props for the physics defying box, which I may have to steal by the way, but that's just a cardboard cutout of me." Dr.F said with an evil smirk on his face. *SOL* "Well.. it's still a good tempered cutout." Crow said. "Yeah, I'll show you" Mike said as he pulled a cord connected to the back of the cutout. "Let's go rent Spaceballs" Came out of the cutout in a perfect replica of Dr.F's voice. *Deep-13* "That is rather impressive." Dr.F conceded. *SOL* "You haven't seen the best of it yet sir." Mike said as he pulled the cord again. "I've just come up with another way to kill Oscar. It involves breaking his kneecaps in and forcing him to play spellfire." It calmly stated. "Let me try" Tom said. *Mike grabs Tom and uses Tom's arm to pull the cord* "Let's go read the works of Sailor Mac while listening to some clasical music" *Deep-13* "Enough!" Dr.F boomed "I will have to destroy that hideous invention later. But for now I will content myself with driving you insane. Frank. Frank!" Dr.F yelled. *Frank sits up for a moment, then collapses again* "Allow me sir" Evil Servo says. *Evil Servo hits the button* *SOL* "Uh oh..." Mike said as sirens went off throughout the satellite. "WE'VE GOT FANFIC SIGN!!!" They all shouted at the same time. *Door sequence* Door 7: It's an Oscarfic. You run in terror, skipping the other doors in your hurry to get into the theater. >A Dream Come True CROW:All the senshi I can bang? TOM:All the horrible lemon writers on the planet dead? MIKE:All the donuts I can eat? >by: Hopeless Romantic MIKE:The situation looks hopeless guys. >hnabatchi@hotmail.com CROW:Prepare the spam! MIKE:I don't think we have anyway to sign her up to a mail service. CROW:No, I mean the spam! I need some to cover my eyes with. OTHERS:*Sigh* >Rated: NC-17 TOM:No Common sense-17. MIKE:What's the 17 stand for? TOM:The likely number of orgasms in this fic. >After frantically searching for Chibi-Usa in Vadiane's Black Dream Hole, MIKE:You okay Tom? TOM:Yeah, just a little shaken up. CROW:What, no intro? ALL:WOHOO!!! >Usagi, as Sailor Moon,finds herself in Mamoru's apartment. TOM: (sarcastic) Gee, what a surprise. CROW:(also sarcastic) Yeah, we didn't see that one coming! MIKE:C'mon guys, give the author a chance. CROW:Mike, when's the last time you had a medical examination? MIKE:Last month, wh... HEY!!! BOTS:*Snicker* >She puts the fast asleep Chibi-Usa on his couch. TOM: Incredible child laying action! MIKE:Tom look at what you just said... TOM:*checks memory banks*... oh dear god!!! >"Usagi how did you get here?" he asked. CROW:(Usagi)Took abandon all hope street past horrible lemon drive, then I made a left onto What the hell am I doing boulevard, and there you were. >Stunned Usagi questions him, MIKE:(Usagi)What are all these printouts of Rei Ayanami doing here? TOM:(same)Since when am I smart enough to question anybody? CROW:(same)Why am I not wearing any clothes? MIKE:(same)When did Stunned Usagi get here? >"Mamoru ... are we in *your* apartment?" MIKE: (Mamoru) Yeah, maybe you should come back later, when I'm not coming out of the shower. CROW:(Mamoru) *porno music plays* Yes... I must say you caught me rather... off guard. TOM:(Usagi) It's nothing I haven't seen before in worse lemons. >"Yes, why?" he relplied."Mamo-chan, Chibi-Usa will not wake up.Will you help me wake her?" Usagi asked. ALL: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH CROW:Hey, at least it's not Oscar guys. TOM:Please don't mention his unholy name around me. >At this point Mamoru had walked up behind Usagi CROW:And stabbed her until she died. The End. MIKE:Not that lucky. TOM:At this point I'd like someone to stab me from behind. >and draped his arms over her shoulders. His shirt was unbuttoned revealing CROW:A variety of sex toys? >his well defined chest. CROW:Oh. >"Usako, just let her sleep and enjoy her dream" he cooed in her ear. MIKE:Coo coo ca choo. >Usagi's mind was fighting her body. CROW:(Mind)You're going down body! TOM:(Body)Over my dead body Mind! ALL:*Make fighting noises* >Her mind told her that this was not Mamoru, that is was a dream. CROW:(Usagi)Voices.. in my head. MIKE:(Freud)Yes, this is very common in crime fighting teenagers who have sex at every opportunity. >Her body insisted that it was real. TOM:Seeing as her mind never did anything at all. >Her mind screamed that this was a dream. TOM:(Usagi)The voices won't go away! >Her body ignored her mind MIKE:Nothing new there. CROW:I hear ya. >and immediately responded to his touch. ALL:EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW. CROW:She doesn't have much stamina does she. >Usagi became very flushed CROW:Kinda like Mike when he watches Tenchi Muyo. MIKE:That Tenchi is so dreamy *sigh*. BOTS:*Edge away from Mike* >and she could feel her fuku getting wet between her legs. TOM:Watch as our hero gets aroused by a simple touch. MIKE:Man, I'd hate to be her if she wasn't wearing green on St. Patricks day... >The feel of his lips on her neck, TOM:Enough with the neck already! MIKE:Hey, at least he isn't nipping it. >gently nipping and kissing her, TOM:AAAARRRRGGGHHH! >melted every defense that she had readied. CROW:That must have taken all of 5 seconds. >Her mind yelled at her to not give in,to fight it. MIKE:I think we've already done the voices jokes to death. >But Usagi's desire had built up MIKE:The desire's really building. >and she completely surrendered to it and her love. TOM:And our hero surrenders. CROW:Who saw that one coming? MIKE:I did, for one. TOM:I think we'll be seeing more coming by the time this is over. >Mamoru slowly worked his way further down her neck. TOM:Like he's been doing through most of the fic? >Nipping at it the entire way. TOM:Again, like he's been doing through most of the fic? >His hands came up and caressed her breast through her fuku. MIKE:At least he's not at her neck. CROW:*Drools* >Instantly, her nipples hardened as he rubbed them with his thumb. MIKE:Witness the amazing instant hardening nipples. CROW:Batteries not included. TOM:Some assembly required. MIKE:Limited warranty. CROW:Keep away from small children. >This caused a sigh to escape her lips. Mike:(Usagi)That James Vanderbeak is so hot. TOM:(Same)I'm hungry. CROW:(Same)I want Rei so bad... >"Usako, I love you so much. MIKE:(Mankind)It's Socko time... again. >I need you my love." he cooed in her ear as he nibbled on it. TOM: This man loves to coo and nibble. CROW:coo coo ca nibble. >"Oh Mamo-chan this must be a dream" she whispered. ALL:DUH! >"No Usako, this is as real as my love for you." MIKE:So that would make that a dream. TOM:Obviously. >That is all that it took, she was under his spell. CROW:(Austin Powers)You're under the spell of my Mojo baby, yeah! >Her love for him was her downfall. MIKE:Not her idiocy, her easy arousal, her inability to fight, but her LOVE is her downfall. TOM:Makes perfect sense to me. >"Come Usako, let Chibi-Usa sleep, ALL:Thank you!!! >and come to bed." he whispered to her TOM:(Mamoru)Shhh! The other scouts will hear us. >as he picked her up and made his way to his bedroom. CROW:(TV Announcer)Yes he's past the flaming pits of death, the river of snakes, and the whorehouse of temptation, and now only the panties of quick surrender block his way to the bedroom. >"Oh Mamo-chan" she cooed. MIKE:Coo coo ca.. oh never mind. >"Yes Usako, tonight all your dreams are going to come true." TOM:(Usagi)You mean that shipment of jello I ordered came through? CROW:(Usagi)You mean I can finally be free of this lemon? MIKE:(Usagi)You mean I can finally kill you? >Upon reaching his bedroom, TOM:Usagi promptly fell asleep. >Mamoru put Usagi down on the bed. CROW:(Usagi)OW! TOM:(Mamoru)Sorry, I really should get rid of my thumbtack collection. CROW:(Usagi)Hey, what are these Playboys doing here? TOM:(Mamoru)Uh... nothing. >He lay down bedside her and trailed kisses down her neck. MIKE:Again with the neck. TOM:She is gonna have SO many hickies. CROW:I think hickies are the least of her problems... >Making his way to her chest until he came to a barrier. TOM:The Great Wall of China? MIKE:A giant mosquito? CROW:A stack of Playboy magazines? >Her fuku. ALL:Oh. >"Usako, I don't think you need this.' CROW:(Usagi)Please don't take my vibrator Mamoru! TOM:(Usagi)Anything but my Sex Toys! MIKE:(Usagi)Not my Picture of Mike Nelson! CROW:You make me sick Mike. >Without a word she grasped his hand TOM:(Mamoru)Uh Usagi, that isn't my hand... >and held it over her transformation brooch. MIKE:Mega lesbian power! >Within the blink of an eye, CROW:She had taken off her clothes and begun without him! >her fuku was gone CROW:Can I see into the future or what? >and she lay there beneath Mamoru TOM:Having sex with the other scouts of course. MIKE:That would go with most SM lemons out there. CROW:And how would you know that Mike? MIKE:Because I read them. CROW:Oh...... Well, so did I so there! >completely naked. MIKE:Predictable. >She held her hand over it a moment longer TOM:Oooo kinky. >to use the Crystal for "protection". MIKE:Like I use my barf bag for "purging" >Then Mamoru took her brooch from her CROW:(Usagi)It's mine!You can't have it! >and put it on the night stand. TOM:And then he seductively **PUTS** it on the night stand. MIKE:You okay Tom? TOM:No, not really. >He then continued down his path to ecstasy. CROW:That's only a 5 foot trip. TOM:It would be a little longer, but this is Sailor Moon we're talking about. MIKE:And so he ventures down the path that every character has gone down at one point. TOM:Yeah, in some demented writers' minds. >He took one nipple into his mouth MIKE:(Homer)mmm... nipple. TOM:Tastes like chicken. >and nipped and sucked on it. CROW:He just can't get enough of nipping! >The other he gently ALL:*make crunching noises* >caressed with his thumb. MIKE:(singing)Rock a bye nipple on the bed top... TOM:(also singing)When the cock blows, you're uterus will rock... CROW:(singing too)When you're hymen breaks, you're virginity wll fall... ALL:(singing)And down will cum Mamoru, On you and the wall. >This brought a low animalistic growl CROW:(Austin Powers)Grr baby!Very grr! >from deep within Usagi's throat. MIKE:Not too deep I hope... CROW:(Usagi)Uh Mamoru? TOM:(Mamoru)Not now! CROW:(Usagi)But Mamoru! TOM:(Mamoru)What!!!??? CROW:(Usagi)I'm gonna hurl! TOM:(Mamoru)EEEEW!That's not the bodily fluid I was hoping to see Usagi! MIKE:*grabs a barf bag* >"Oh Mamo-chan" she moaned. TOM:(looks in the dictionary) Moaning-see teenage crime fighting sexaholics. CROW:(also in dictionary)Teenage crime fighting sexaholics-see sailor scouts. MIKE:(same)Sailor scouts-see "Resistance? What's that? >Mamoru then trailed kisses down her abdomen. MIKE:Unfortunately Usagi had not bathed recently... TOM:(Mamoru)Usagi?!Is that chocholate? CROW:(Usagi)Uh... maybe. >The closer he got to her womanhood TOM:The more bored he got. CROW:(Mamoru)Yeah... lets get it on... baby. TOM:(Usagi)Yes...... lets. >the quicker and shallower her breaths became. MIKE:C'mon honey, just breath, breath, breath TOM:(baby)WWWWWWAAAAAHHHHH! CROW:(doctor)Congratulations!It's a.. um.. it's a.. I better call this in! >He stopped just at her mound. TOM:(Colombus)I claim this mound for Spain!!! CROW:(hundreds of other men)Too late, we were here first. >He nuzzled the soft golden curls. MIKE:(Usagi)Sit!Stay!Nuzzle!Good Mamoru! TOM:(Mamoru)Ruff!Ruff ruff! >He inhaled her scent, CROW:(Mamoru)Smells like an armies sweated down here. TOM:(Usagi)Well funny story honey... >and she smelled of pure honey. MIKE:Or maybe that was the beehive nestled between her legs... TOM:Now that would make for painful sex. CROW:(Mamoru)Yeah baby, just a little more... OW!OW!OW!OW! >Usagi instinctively opened her legs for him. ALL:OF COURSE! >Slowly, he eased open her nether lips, ALL:*CCCRREEEAAAKKK* >then ever-so gently began to stroke her jewel MIKE:(Mamoru)Good brooch... nice brooch. CROW:What are you talking about Mike? MIKE:Well, he's talking about her transformation brooch right? TOM:You make me pity you more every day Mike. >with his tongue. MIKE:Now why is he licking her brooch? TOM:Mike, I think it's time we gave you the talk. CROW:You see Mike, when too people love each other... TOM:Or are just in horrible lemons together... CROW:They have this little old thing called sex. MIKE:O_O >Not only did she smell of honey, BOTS:(Keep giving mike "the talk") MIKE:!_! >she tasted just as sweet. MIKE:AH! They don't! BOTS:*Nod* MIKE:Oh, well that explains the weird noises coming from my nanna's bedroom. >This caused her to take in a sharp breath TOM:(Usagi)OW!Too sharp! CROW:(Usagi)Is that a fragrant pine scent??? >and hold it. MIKE:(Han Solo)Cmon baby, hold together. >The feeling of his tongue stroking her jewel, MIKE:Ok, now I get it guys. He means her clitoris. CROW:I certainly hope he does... >then gliding down along her inner folds, TOM:Sounds like she folds under presure. MIKE:That was beneath you, Tom. >was like nothing she had ever dreamed of. CROW:Not really, when you consider she's dreaming of it right now. MIKE:She is? CROW:C'mon Mike, even you should be able to tell she's dreaming this. MIKE:?_? >As he stroked her, TOM:(Slaver)Stroke!Stroke!Stroke! >she could feel this extreme heat CROW:(Usagi)FIRE!!!!! TOM:(Mamoru)Quick Usagi let's... *estinguish* it. >flood her body. MIKE:Soon every cell in her body was infected with the dreaded LEMON WRITER VIRUS!!! TOM:May god rest her soul. >It seemed to radiate all over her. CROW:That nuclear energy will do that every time. >Sensing her oncoming climax, TOM:(Spider-man)My climax-sense is tingling! >Mamoru eased a finger TOM:(Mamoru)*grunt**groan**grr* CROW:(Mamoru)Geez Usagi, you have a really tight pu... MIKE:CROW! CROW:What? MIKE:Uh... nothing. >inside her opening CROW:Let's hope he means her frontal opening. ALL:*shudder* >and paid more attention to her jewel. MIKE:It's so... shiny. TOM:For the last time Mike the author doesn't mean her brooch. >Higher and higher CROW:(Pothead)I fell really high dude... >she soared on this beautiful cloud of pleasure. TOM:(Rose)I feel like... I'm flying. >Then Mamoru decided to bring her to climax. MIKE:(Mamoru)I've got nothing better to do. >He took her jewel into his mouth MIKE:Isn't that... kinda impossible? CROW: If you're not in a lemon then yes. >and gently sucked on it. CROW:All this fanfic does is suck. >This took Usagi over the edge. TOM:And plummeting down the cliff side. CROW:Luckily she had the "Wand of plot contrivance", which broke her fall. >Every muscle in her body locked up. TOM:That happens to me all the time. CROW&MIKE:!!! TOM:When I run out of oil you perverts! >Her inner muscles grasped onto his finger, MIKE:Mamoru cried out, but it was too late... TOM:Usagi's lethal inner muscles had him. >to keep it in her. CROW:Right now we're all keeping it in. MIKE:*Takes head out of a barf bag* Some less than others... >Feeling this, TOM:He just keeps feeling everything, doesn't he? >Mamoru began to simultaneously lick her jewel MIKE: Better keep Mamoru out of a jewelry store. TOM:(Clerk)And what fine jewelry can we interest you in today, sir? CROW:(Mamoru) Do you have anything I can lick and suck on? >and move his finger in and out of her womanhood. TOM:In and out and in again... >This caused her to have a climax of extreme force. MIKE:It's an *extreme* climax. CROW:Man that was *extreme*! >As she came, TOM:Mark time of climax at 3:34. CROW:Climax time marked. MIKE:It's later than we anticipated. >her honey began to flow out of her MIKE:Taste the rainbow! TOM:Feel the rush! CROW:Hold in you're vomit! >and completely soak his finger. TOM:(Mamoru)Ew! I just cleaned that finger! >Mamoru withdrew his fingers and licked up her honey Mike:(Homer)Mmmmm... honey. >as it came running out of her. CROW:Her own fluids try to flee from her. >He lapped up her honey like an animal starved. TOM:Meow. CROW:Woof. MIKE:Squeak. >As he did this it was rapidly bringing her to another. TOM:Another badly written lemon? CROW:Another jello-in-the-tub scene? MIKE:Another Oscar fic? >Mamoru had just finished cleaning her MIKE:You see she was so dirty she had to be clean. TOM:Don't let this author get to you Mike. CROW:Yeah, you're starting to sound pretty bad. >of all the love honey and kissed her jewel. CROW:If it's not her neck, it's her jewel. >This sent her into another climax. TOM:Climax marked again at 3:35 CROW:Time of climax marked. >Happily he resumed his feast on her. MIKE:Happily, I resumed my urge to kill the author of this fic. >As she came down from the second, he returned to her side. TOM:He's a movin on up! >He softly kissed her face everywhere. CROW:Least he's not at her neck again... >As she caught her breath, MIKE:(Usagi)What am I doing?! TOM:(Usagi)Yeah, I need my fellow scouts to have a lemon scene. >she realized that he was now sucking on her breast again. CROW:It took her a few hours... >"Oh Mamo-chan, that was wonderful." she whispered to him. MIKE:(Usagi)That sex with Mike Nelson was so wonderful. TOM:You need serious help Mike. >"Usako, the best is yet to come my love" CROW:(Mamoru)Yeah wait till I get the porno tapes going. >"Well, we need to get you as comfortable as I am" TOM:Isn't that pretty much impossible when she orgasms twice a paragraph? >she said with a raised eyebrow. MIKE:Do you smell what Usagi is cooking? >Mamoru just looked at her CROW:(Mamoru)You're purdy. >and gave her his famous quirky grin. CROW:Yes its his famous quirky grin! No woman can resist. TOM:Or as we have seen, no man... >"You truly are my minx, aren't you Usako?' CROW:She brings disgrace to all minxes. MIKE:I had a minxy girlfriend once... TOM:Yeah in you're dreams Nelson. >"Of course, Mamo-chan. MIKE:(Usagi)Of course you greatly offend me. TOM:(same) Of course I'll have sex with you for no reason at all! >Would you have me any other way?" she replied, TOM:(Mamoru)Yeah, dead. CROW:Or with the other scouts. >capturing his lips in a deep kiss. CROW:His lips struggled, but could not escape... >After breaking the kiss, Mike:After 10 minutes... ALL:*Make gasping-for-air noises* >he grasped her hand TOM:Better than her breasts... >and placed it on his extremely hard member. CROW:And Mamoru, with all the subtlety of a rhino, makes his move >"Does this answer your question?" MIKE:(Usagi)Did I ask a question? TOM:(same)Do I know how to ask a question? >Shocking herself with her bravery, CROW:I'd like to shock myself right outta this fic. MIKE:Uh, Crow, you're a robot. You could do that. CROW:Oh yeah... *ZZZZZZZZZ* MIKE:Uh oh... I better repair him. Tom you're in charge of riffing this thing. TOM:Sure Mike. No problem, heh heh heh... >she squeezed his manhood through his pants. TOM:(Mamoru)*talking in a whisper* Not... so... hard... Usagi. MIKE:*Takes out his Robot repair kit, on which is written "for incredible dummies who haven't had a girlfriend in decades"*... Crow messed with my toolbox again. TOM:(nervous) Yeah, it was him all right. No reason to suspect good ol Tommy boy! >"Apparently so" she replied. TOM:(Usagi)Apparently I am Bi. MIKE:*In between working on Crow* Big surprise there. >Slowly, she began tracing his member through his pants. TOM:This lemon's chock full of tracing action! MIKE:*Grabs more supplies* >This cause his blood to boil even hotter. MIKE:*Whaps crow on the head* CROW:OW! *zzzzzz* MIKE:So close... >"Oh Usako, I need you so much" he moaned. TOM:(Mamoru)I need you to stop squeezing me there right now! >Usagi then sat up and motioned for him to do the same. MIKE:*Cuts the blue wire* CROW:Hey, what happened? TOM:You electrocuted yourself to stop reading the fic. CROW:Sounds good, I'll do that again. MIKE:Well you could if I hadn't added a surege suppressor while i was fixing you. TOM:But you didn't do anything to me... *zzzzzz* MIKE:*sigh* Crow you riff, I'll fix. >"We still need to get you comfortable my love." CROW:I think you'll be more comfortable at Rei's place... MIKE:*Starts repairing TOM* >"Ummhmm" he moaned. CROW:Roughly translated that means "Get your hands off me you whore" MIKE:*Still fixing Tom* >"You don't seem very comfortable at the moment my love." CROW:(Mamotu)Maybe that's because your crushing my penis, and I'm sitting on my thumbtack collection. MIKE:*cuts the blue wire again* TOM:Huh? What happened? CROW:You shocked yourself, Mike fixed you. TOM:Oh yeah thanks Mike. Mike? *Mike is fast asleep* MIKE:zzzzzzzzzzz... CROW:Lucky *(^)%^()#*%$(#%*@)%#%*)@@)%*@)%! >as she dragged her nail across his hard member, BOTS:OOOOWWWW!!! MIKE: No, come back Jennifer Aniston! TOM: That's it, I'm waking him up. CROW:No, let's see what else he says. >still encased in his pants. CROW:Wasn't very hard to encase a 2 incher though. MIKE:CROW! CROW:Wow, even when he's asleep he can yell at me. >"And what are you going to do about that my minx?" he questioned, TOM:(Usagi)I'm gonna... uh... um... well I'll think of something! MIKE:*Wakes up* CROW:Bout time. MIKE:I had the worst nightmare. I was shot up into space and only had 2 really annoying robots that I think about killing every day. And this mean guy who I feel strangely atttracted to kept on sending us cheesy movies and fanfics to try to drive me insane. It was horrible! BOTS:0_0 CROW:That's whats really happening you idiot! MIKE:Oh, ok. >barely containing the lust in his voice. DR. F:(over the intercom) Do you really feel strangely attracted to me Mike? MIKE:Since it was a nightmare I doubt it. DR.F:Oh. Ok then. After all it's not like I think of you whenever I take a shower. It's not like I dream of having hot sweaty "sessions" with you every day. It's not like I own my very own Mike Nelson blow up doll. *breaks the connection, but sobbing can be heard before he does* ALL:Uh......... MIKE:Lets never mention this again guys. TOM:Okay yaoi boy. CROW:Whatever you say Mr. Gay. >To his shock, TOM:He realized he liked the other scouts better. CROW:Either that or he realized she wasn't "doing it" for him. >she bent down and began undoing his pants. MIKE:Unfortunately they were protected by the dreaded zipper. TOM:(Usagi) How the heck does this thing work. CROW:(Mamoru) Well you rub it and suck on it and... MIKE:CROW! >While she was fumbling with the button, he began to pull off his shirt. TOM:I thought he already had his shirt off. MIKE:Try not to think, it only makes it worse, >"No, wait. Let me do it, love." CROW:(Mamoru) Yeah you can go away now Usagi, I think I'll just mastur... MIKE:CROW! >So to honor her request, TOM:He killed himself. >he stopped. MIKE:Hey, the lemons over! Let's get outta here guys. DR.F: Not so fast boobies. There's still a good 10 paragraphs to go. ALL: 10 PARAGRAPHS!!!!!!!!!! >She sat up and pulled off his shirt, TOM:Even though it was already off him. >then left a trail of hot kisses down his chest and abdomen. CROW:10011101010001110110110111100! TOM:Me too Crow, me too. MIKE:What? TOM:It's binary code Mike, you wouldn't understand. >Then she returned to her previous task. MIKE:You mean (singing) Fighting evil by moonlight... CROW:(singing) Screwing mobs by daylight... TOM:(singing) Never running from a lemon. ALL:(singing) She is the one named Sailor Screw. >Successfully, getting the button undone, MIKE:After 10 minutes... CROW:(Usagi) Oh, I'm sorry, I was fooling around with my button. >she then took Mamoru completely by surprise. TOM:He never saw the knife coming... >She grasped the zipper in her teeth TOM:And slowly slid it over his hard manhood. >and slowly slid it over his hard manhood. MIKE:How'd you know that was gonna happen Servo? TOM: I read ahead. By the way I think we'll be repeating previous riffs later on... >He could feel her hot breath down the trail of his zipper. CROW:If it's not the neck it's the zipper. >It was amplified by the fact that he had nothing on underneath his jeans. ALL:Mamoru's going commando! >So her breath was directly on his skin. TOM:Thanks, I never would have figured that out. >"Hmm, Mamo-chan, nice, very nice." CROW:(Usagi) So how long is it until the other senshi get here? TOM:(Mamoru) Not long my love, not long. >She motioned for him to stand up CROW: I don't think that her middle finger means she wants you to stand up... >and she pulled his jeans all the way down. ALL:Shrinkage alert! >They pooled at his ankles and he stepped out. TOM:Step to the beat. >Now, she could plainly see his CROW: Large balls and 11 inch long... MIKE:CROW! CROW:What? I was gonna say his pool set. TOM:It's 9-ball dreams all over again! >hardened manhood standing completely erect and away from his body. CROW:Even his "manhood" wants outta this lemon. >It was like her carnal nature and extreme arousal took over. TOM:(Usagi) Must.... have..... Force dildo... OTHERS: ACK! >She got down on her knees CROW:OH my god! It really is warrior sisters! TOM: Then again we haven't seen any tall trees or moist caves... >and motioned for him to sit on the bed. MIKE: Incredible sitting action! >She then positioned herself between his legs TOM: Oh boy, here we go. >and softly caressed his sac with her hands. ALL:*Make Crunching sounds* >This brought a deep moan from Mamoru. CROW:(Mamoru) But I don't wanna get a Blowjob *sob*. >Taking this as encouragement, TOM: She'll take anything as encouragement. CROW:(Mamoru) Get away from me Usagi! MIKE:(Usagi) I'll take that as encouragement. >she then began to stroke his manhood. CROW:(Slaver) Stroke! Stroke! Stroke... again. TOM:Told ya. >"Mamo-chan, what have you always dreamed of me doing to you?" TOM:So many riffs, so little time... CROW:(Mamoru) I've always dreamed of having all the scouts at once. MIKE:(Usagi)But we did that yesterday silly! CROW:(Mamoru) Oh yeah... >Mamoru didn't even answer her. TOM:(Mamoru) I'm not even going to dignify that with a response. >He gently began to undo her odangos CROW:(As a lemon writer) Undo! Undo! TOM:(Same) Phew! i almost used good tastee thered. Imaginee if i had putted proper gramerandspeling! wouldnot that be weirdd! >and let her hair fall to the floor. MIKE: Hmmm... beware of falling hair. Wonder what that... AH! CROW:When bugs don't look at signs... until its too late. >Then he began to stroke her head. ALL:AAHHHH! TOM:Shades of Oscar! CROW:Initiating self destruct in 5...4...3...2... MIKE: No guys, he means her head above her shoulders. She isn't a... well, you know. TOM:A hermaphrodite cat lover? MIKE: Yeah, thanks for breaking it lightly to the reader. CROW: And there goes the fourth wall. >This produced a low purr from Usagi. ALL:AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! TOM:I told you! I told you all! But did you listen? No. MIKE:Aw, c'mon guys, cut it out. CROW:Okay, but if Artemis shows up I'm shutting down. >Then he put slight pressure on her head ALL:CCCCRRRRRUUUUSSSSHHHH CROW:A little too much pressure, eh Mamoru? >to direct her to his manhood. TOM:(Alien) Take us to your manhood. >Instantly she knew what he wanted. MIKE: Please say he wants a bananna split. CROW: Well, I think she wants a bananna, I think I'll just split. >She completely bypassed his manhood ALL:*Snicker* TOM:Nice to see she knows exactly what he wanted. >and began to slowly kiss the insides of his thighs. CROW:As opposed to the outsides of his thighs, which remained unkissed. >She kissed the whole way around his manhood, but never touched it. TOM:(Usagi) You've got cooties! >Gradually, she worked her way to his sac. MIKE: She had some trouble locating it... >She gently licked and sucked at it. CROW:(DX) Suck it! MIKE:Crow! CROW:Well, she is. >This produced short little gasps from Mamoru. TOM:Just like his short little di... MIKE:CR.. er... TOM! >She was driving him close to the edge. MIKE:I didn't know Usagi was a drag racer. >She could tell he was getting there because his breaths came quicker and more shallow. ALL:*Make gasping noises* >He massaged and rubbed her head. ALL:.............. TOM:Did I read that right? CROW:I REALLY hope not... >"Oh Usako, please" he panted. MIKE:(Mamoru) Please Usagi, I'm not enjoying this at all. >This indicated to Usagi not to play any more games. TOM:(Usagi) But I'm in the middle of a game of monopoly! CROW:(same)Well, I guess I can find a park place for you're shortline railroad... >So she licked her lips MIKE:(Usagi) Tastes like lemons! >and encircled the tip with her tongue. MIKE:(Usagi) Tastes like Ami! >Fluid formed at the tip TOM:Yoohoo? CROW:Snapple? MIKE:Milk? CROW:Semen, perhaps? MIKE:Crow! >and she licked it off. MIKE:That musta hurt. CROW:Huh? MIKE:She licked it off, didn't she? TOM:Maybe we should give him another talk soon... >Liking the taste MIKE:(Usagi)Tastes like all the scouts this time. CROW:Taste the rainbow! >she took the whole length of him into her mouth. CROW:Yeah, all 2... MIKE:CROW! >This caused Mamoru to take a deep breath. TOM:Yes... yes... breathe deeply... little do you know that poison is seeping into you're lungs even as I speak. MIKE:A little dark today? TOM:Really? You could tell? >"Mmmmm" Usagi murmured still sucking on his member. CROW:Roughly translated, mmmm means "I really hope that's not what I think it is..." >She then started moving her mouth up and down his length. CROW:What length? He's only got a 2 inch... hey why didn't you interupt me? MIKE:*takes his head out of a barf bag* Wasn't feeling up to it. >She could taste more of his fluid TOM:Yeah, but which fluid? >and she increased the pace. Faster and faster she sucked his manhood. MIKE:Whoa, she's a machine! CROW:I had a machine like that once... >Suddenly his entire body locked up TOM:(Mamoru)Damned arthritis! >and his heart started beating at an incredible rate. CROW:2 beats per minute! Amazing! >He began to move his hips with the rhythm of her incredible sucking mouth. MIKE:Yes, it's the incredible sucking mouth! Order it today! CROW:Actually, that might have been the machine I had... >Nearing release, he grasped her head gently but firmly. TOM:Gently yet firmly. CROW:Fiercely yet calmly. MIKE:Sickening yet... even more sickening. >Though never wanting her to stop, he knew that if he didn't stop her soon MIKE:She would run amok through Tokyo, killing badly dubbed citizens at every turn! CROW:(Badly dubbed japanese man)Oh no! It is *Beak moves rapidly*...... Usagi. >that he would be shooting his seed in her mouth. CROW:Gee, that's only happened to her a million times. >"Usako... you have to stop love" he said in between gasps. TOM:(Mamoru)*gasp*please stop *gasp* I think I'm gonna.... CROW:(Usagi)Going to what? TOM:(Mamoru)PUKE!!!! CROW:(Usagi)EW! I just changed those breasts too! MIKE:Guys... >Usagi just ignored him and continued. ALL:*Laugh* CROW:Looks like the author got one thing right at least. >Harder and harder she sucked, MIKE:Yeah, this fic does suck. >bringing him closer and closer to release. TOM:(Mamoru)Release me vile wench! >To his surprise he was ready before he knew it. CROW:Sounds like the same old Mamoru. >She could feel his manhood get harder in her mouth. CROW:As opposed to getting softer in her puss... MIKE:CROW! >She knew it was time. CROW:It was that time of the month... TOM:Beware of projectile fetus! MIKE:Guys... >He tried unsuccessfully to pry her off him TOM:(Mamoru)Putting on a little weight Usagi? >but he became caught up in his climax. CROW:(Mamoru)It's so purdy... >He felt a tingling in the base of his spine. CROW:(Mamoru)I have to tinkle. >All he could do was close his eyes and pray she would forgive him. MIKE:Oh she'll forgive him... after she lops off little Mamoru. TOM:Speaking from experience Nelson? >It was a shock to her at first, CROW:(Usagi)I'm a bisexual! No way! MIKE:(same)Xena's been canceled! No way! TOM:(same)I say no way at the end of every riff I make? No way! CROW:Oh shut up. >as his warm seed began shooting down her throat. TOM:All together now... ALL:SSUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEE! >It was a strong taste, TOM:(Usagi)Tastes like crap. >but not too over-powering. Actually, she liked it. ALL:OF COURSE! >Greedily, she sucked every last bit from his now receding member. CROW:Mamoru had no warning as Usagi sucked the life from his co... MIKE:CROW! >After licking her lips of the liquid that had come out, TOM:And it wasn't semen... CROW:Had kinda a yellowish... MIKE:CR.. aw forget it. >she sat up and looked Mamoru in his stormy blue eyes. TOM:(Mamoru)That's not where my eyes are Usagi. CROW:(Usagi)Well it was so small I thought it was you're nose. >"Usako, I am so sorry, I never meant to..." he pleaded ALL:*yelling*WUSSY!WUSSY! >but was cut off by Usagi's index finger on his lips. MIKE:While her other fingers began digging themselves into his neck... >"Mamo-chan, I wanted you too. If I didn't, I would have pulled away." she said with a loving expression in her eyes. CROW:She said that with her eyes? Wow. >Mamoru pulled her up to him and hugged her tightly. AlL:*SQUISH* >"Oh Usako, I love you so much." TOM:(Mamoru)I love you more than my gigantic stack of playboys. >"And I love you Mamo-chan." CROW:(Usagi)I love you more than my vibrator. >They lay embracing on the bed for what seemed like an eternity. MIKE:But in reality it was only 5 minutes. TOM:(Mamoru) Enough cuddling I have places to go, senshi to screw. >At some point they both fell asleep. CROW:What? No sex? OTHERS:WOOHOO!!! >Usagi was awakened by Mamoru's hardening manhood. TOM:So close. >This brought a huge smile to her face. MIKE:This also brings a huge lump of bile to my throat. >She put her hand around his now hard member. TOM:(monotone)Yay. CROW:(same) Such excitement. >"Uhmm, Mamo-chan. I think that you are becoming uncomfortable again" Usagi cooed with a sly grin. MIKE:(Usagi, but with a )I'm such a sly little minx. TOM:Hold on Mike it's almost over. >"Well then, we will just have to do something about that." CROW:(Mamoru)My monkey has been very bad and must be spanked right away! >Mamoru sat up against the headboard of his bed. TOM:*bang* MIKE:(Mamoru)OW! >He brought Usagi into a sitting position, CROW:As opposed to a fuck my brains out position, which she's in the other 23 hours of the day. >straddling his manhood. MIKE:Guys, I think I have to close my eyes. TOM:Me too. CROW:Fine wussies, I'll riff the rest of the fic. *Mike and Tom close their eyes* >Usagi eased herself down onto his member. CROW:Easy now. >It was such a wonderful feeling how he perfectly fit inside her. CROW:Perfect like a... um... a... I dunno. >A warmth radiated through her. CROW:Ok, now even I have to close my eyes. *some time passes* MIKE:Is it over? CROW:I'll check. >In a flash Usagi was starting her ascent to climax. CROW:*closes his eyes again* Nope, still going. *some more time later* MIKE: Now is it done? TOM:I'll check this time. >As she was in the throes of her climax, this caused Mamoru to reach his. TOM:Ooo, goey. You can open you're eyes guys, they're just about done. MIKE:(worried)Just about? >They both climaxed together. ALL:Well duh! >As they came down, MIKE:My lunch was comeing up. >Usagi collapsed on Mamoru's chest. Her hair was sticky, TOM:Guess Mamoru has to work on his aim. >and wet from the force of her exertion. CROW:(Usagi)I knew I should have taken yoga! >It lay completely covering her and Mamoru. MIKE:What lay? CROW:A goey sticky white substance. MIKE:Milk? BOTS:*sigh* >Mamoru put his arms around Usagi CROW:You gotta love the after sex copping of the feel. >and held her there until they both caught their breath. TOM:5 days later... >Awaking some time later TOM:In the year 3000. >Usagi came back to reality. MIKE:As opposed to the dream she's been in this whole fic. >She awoke before Mamoru and grasped for her brooch. CROW:Geez!She must be really horny! >She had just finished her transformation when Mamoru awoke. TOM:Uh oh, she's been caught going without him. >"Usako, where are you going?" MIKE:(Usagi)Anywhere but here. >"Mamoru, do you still love me more than Chibi-Usa?" CROW:(Usagi)Considering the shag I just gave you you better! >"Yes, of course my love. Now please get back into bed." TOM:(Mamoru)My monkey needs another spanking! >Usagi walked out of his bedroom and he followed her into the living room. CROW:Still not wearing pants... MIKE:Shrinkage alert 2! ALL:Electric Boogaloo! She picked up the still sleeping Chibi-Usa ALL:NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO! >and began to walk out of the door of the apartment. ALL:*sigh in relief* >"Mamo-chan, you are even gorgeous in a dream." MIKE:What? So she knew this was a dream and did it all anyway? TOM:Just smile and nod Mike. Mike:Ok. *smiles and nods* TOM:Oh brother. CROW:Yeah? TOM:*sigh* >At this point the scene of the apartment faded from around her and Chibi-Usa. ALL:YAY! >Usagi shouted Moon Crisis Power. MIKE:Almost there! TOM:Mega Bisexual Power! >She broke herself free from the evil witches dream coffin. ALL:*Cheer like never before* TOM:Let's get outta here. >************* MIKE:Aw man! CROW:No intro, but she gives us her notes at the end. That's just great. >Note: Hey there! Sorry I haven't been producing any stories. ALL:We aren't! >The Yarnspinner and I have been a little busy. MIKE:What with them being married and all. TOM:How'd you know that? MIKE:Author told me. *Crash* CROW:We seem to go through a lot of fourth walls. >He says that the reason I haven't been able to write is because I was inspiring him. TOM:No wonder, seeing as Yarnspinner's written hundreds of fics, most of them lemons. CROW:Yeah, she must have to give him a lot of "inspiration". MIKE:CROW! >Well, finally no more writers block. TOM:(sarcastic) Lucky us. >I want to give many thanks to The Yarnspinner for his ongoing contributions to making my life so wonderful. MIKE:I give thanks that I am miraculously not insane. CROW:I give thanks for the existence of porn! TOM:And I give thanks that I am not a Raving pervert like Crow. >His stories truly reflect the romantic in him. CROW:If they're anything like this I'd say they more reflect the torturer in him. >And yes for anyone who has been curious, he is just as wonderful in person as he is in text. TOM:You mean he's a horrible man who writes hundreds of lemons. >This story is dedicated to you my love. MIKE:Aw, how sweet. Two writers in love. CROW:Don't you mean two horrible writers in love? >Thanks to Histoshi Doi's website for giving me the synopsis of the Super Sailor Moon S movie. ALL:Curse You Histoshi! >As always, the characters of Sailor Moon belong to someone else. I just borrow them from time to time. TOM:Nice to see she put in a full disclaimer. MIKE:Hey, the exit's open! Let's get outta here guys. *Exit* Author's notes: Well there ya go, my first MSTing. I'm still learning the ropes, and still have to think of a good theme song, but I think I'm doing ok. Any C&C can be sent to amn79224@icqmail.com. Oh, and my apologies for the skipped area, I just cut out a few lines because I was rapidly running out of ideas. And I didn't wanna push it on my first MSTing anyway. P.S. My next MSTings won't be as... explicit as this one was, just so you know. *stinger* >she realized that he was now sucking on her breast again.