Mystery FanFic Theatre 1998: Pearl's Side Project This is my first MST. I'm just a rookie at this, but I hope that people will like this, especially John L, the story's author. We all know about the legal jargon that's usually stated, so we'll skip that right now, and come back to it later. [Scene: The messy room that might be considered average to a teen. ] Kori: Dude, you are SOOO wrong! Felix: Am not! I bet that Zelgadis turns on Lina and Gourry and revives Shabranigdo! Kori: You're wrong. Felix: [crosses arms] Oh yeah? What makes you say that? Kori: [points in Felix's face] 'Cause I have AND seen the entire Slayers series that's been released! You couldn't have been more off! Felix: [sweat drop] Point. So what happens then? Kori: Well, Rezzo--[realizes what she's saying] I'm not going to tell you! You have to watch it! Felix: [shruggs] It was worth a try. [notices a package on Kori's bed] Hey what's this? Kori: Huh? [picks up package] What could be in it? Felix: I say we burn it! Kori: [whacks Felix on the arm] Idiot! It says right on here: "Do not burn, VERY important" Felix: [reads label] I'd say whoever sent this was psychic, or something. Open it up already! [Kori rips off the brown mailing paper, revealing a box with a note on it. Felix picks up note and begins to read aloud] Felix: Dear Kori, You don't know me, but I have to ask you a favor. I need you to review this story I found. Write back to the address shown at the end of this note with your criticism. I hope you like this story! Kori: Does it give a name? Felix: Nope, just and address. Kori: Funky. [Felix lifts the top off the box. Its contents were the story that was mentioned.] Felix: Here's the story. It's called "The Return of Malachite and Zoycite, Part 1" Kori: A Sailor Moon Fanfic? Felix: Gee, you sounded a lot like Amy there, stating the obvious. Kori:[angerly] Oh shut up. [grabbing the story] Should we do this maturely, or rip on every line? Kori & Felix: RIP ON EVERY LINE! >The Return Of Malachite and Zoycite/ Part 1 >By John L Felix: So far, it seems safe. Kori: Seems being the key word. >A few years ago. After the defeat of Queen Beryl. The sailor scouts thought that they had >saved the world from complete doom. Kori: A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away... Felix: When do the Sailor Scout realize that there is *always* some sort of doom left over? Kori: [shruggs] Who knows? >Back in the NegaVerse,which was thought to be destroyed. Kori: Does John know how to use a comma? Felix: He might, he just used one in this fragment. >Beryl was very low on energy and no longer had a army to support her. Felix: Uhh, isn't she supposed to be dead? Kori: Yeah, but then there wouldn't be a story if she was six feet under. [Beryl] Oh woe is me! I didn't want to be here, but I was desperate and needed the cash for this part. Felix: [Beryl] Ever since I no longer had an army, I felt insecure and tried to get Cape Boy again, but he's still in love with Usagi! [faux tears pour from Felix's eyes] Kori: How'd you do that? Felix: Don't ask questions, just look stupid. > She thought about the last two generals she had to help her gain the rainbow crystals. Felix: Two?! I'm sorry, but it was only ONE who gathered them. Kori: [shaking head] Man, you can be dense sometimes. [knocks on Felix's head] Two did collect the crystals. Malachite acted like Zoycite's lacky for a while, remember? Felix: [rubbing head] That's right. I totally forgot! [Kori sighs, sweat drop appears] >Yes those last two generals were the lovers Malachite and Zoycite. Kori: [shudders] Please, never mention the word *lovers* in the same sentence with those two in my presense. Felix: Why? Kori: YOU DON'T KNOW?!? Felix: [looking totally lost] Know what? Kori: I'll tell you later. >Beryl decided that there would be a all new begining for evil. She used the last of her powers >to bring Malachite and Zoycite back. After that Beryl said her very lasts words to the two >generals. Felix:[Beryl] Make sure to get me the black marble casket, and send it out into orbit. I've always wanted to see the universe. Kori:[Beryl] I've been lying, my real name is Michael Jackson and this hair is really a bad wig. >She told them to be the new rulers of the negaverse and to spread a whole new evil. Yes Beryl >banished Zoycite before but now she knows to forgive. Kori: Beryl? Forgive? Felix: Spread new evil? Why bother? >Now Beryl couldn't banish them anymore. Kori & Felix:[monotonous] What a surprise. >Malachite shocked Zoycite by [Felix begins to grin evilly] Kori: Felix, don't go there. You'll give me a nightmare. >putting a big giant dome over Beryl draining her of energy. He said "Beryl,for making Zoycite >suffer, you'll shall now suffer. ''But you'll suffer a more painful death!''. Kori:[Dubbed Japanese person] I laugh in you face! Ha! Ha ha! Felix: How DO you do that with your mouth? Kori: You know what they say... Felix: About what? Guys with big feet? >As he said those words he shrunk the dome and it mushed Beryl in. Felix:[Malachite] SUFFER I SAY! SUFFER! Kori: Mushed, now isn't that a lovely word. >She squealled loudly as you heard her cry for her last breath. Kori: Did you hear her squeal? Felix: Nope, nor did I hear her cry. >After Beryl's death, Felix: Malachite and Zoycite leave the NegaVerse, buy a condo in Colorado, and live happily ever after. >Malachite and Zoycite had a big chat about what there going to do to rebuild and create a all >new NegaVerse. Kori:[Zoycite] I don't know, do you think that the sky blue wallpaper will work here, honey? Felix: [Malachite] No! I prefer the "Mother of Pearl" [A beeping noise is heard from somewhere. The two look around for anything. Realizing that it was nothing, they went back to the story.] >The two talked it over during a pleasent dinner. They had many plans and ideas to create this >all new negaverse. Zoycite thought about a great idea, she thought that they can bring back >Neflite and Jedeite and put them under their control. Felix: 10 bucks says that this won't work. Kori: You're on! Felix: On what? Kori: Prozac, of course. You're that poster child of it anyway. >Malachite didn't really agree with it but he thought a better plan. They can capture the sailor >scouts and turn them over to the the negaverses' side. Kori & Felix: Oh yeah, this one's a winner. >Zoycite agreed with that idea but Malachite thought well about Zoycite's idea. Kori:[Zoy] Wait...I just don't know which one to choose! Is it Door #1 of Door #2? > He said '' I guess it's worth a try." Zoycite replied "Shall I make the two come back ?'' >Malachite answered " Don't worry,save your strengh." [Kori gives Felix the evil eye] Felix: OK, I won't say it. >"I'll do it." As Malachite used his powers,Neflite and Jedeite came back. Kori: *POOF* Felix:[Mal] Thank you, thank you. My next show will be in a half hour. >Neflite said" "That was a big mistake setting me free." Kori:[Neflite] I've been dying to get back with Molly, and end some unfinished business. Felix: Hey! How come you can make dirty remarks and I can't? Kori: 'Cause that comment wasn't with Malachite and Zoycite. >Jedeite said "Yeah,Nef's got a point there!" Kori:[Jedite] Yeah....so there! Felix:[Jedite] I'm on his side! >Before the two tried to attack Zoycite and Malachite. Malachite flung those energy boomerangs >nailing Nef and Jed to the ground badly hurt. Felix: 10-4 there, we got a grammar fugitive on the run Kori: Wouldn't Neflite and Jedite be able to take those boomerang hits better than Sailormoon? Felix: Good point. > Zoycite then used her powers to hypnotize the two to serve them. Kori: ~You're getting sleeeppppyyyy..~ Felix: Nu-Uh! No I'm not! [sticks out tongue] ~It's not working on me~ >Malachite then sent them down to earth to spy on the sailor scouts. [Kori and Felix looked at each other, then shook their heads] >Well, before he did that task he erased their memories because of Neflite remembering those >days with Molly. Felix: That's a big tragedy. > He erased all of the thoughts of Jedeite making him think that he doesn't serve Queen Beryl. Kori: Nah, I don't think they should've done that. >Finally, the tough part came for Zoycite and Malachite. They had to create a new army of >monsters. But Zoycite said " Malachite, we can capture those lousy humans and turn them to >monsters and we can use them to serve us." Felix: Why bother when you have people like Mike Tyson. Kori: Or Charles Manson. Felix: Or Kathy Lee Gifford. Kori:[Kathy Lee as a youma] I'll get you into shape Sailorbrats! [whip cracks] >Malachite replied " Yes,that is a interesting idea my sweet." "Oh Malachite,your so wonderful >to me." Zoycite replied. [Sweap drop appears on Kori's head] Felix: You have to tell me why you get disturbed by that. > TO BE COUNTINUED > __________________________________ > > Meet us in part 2 to see the countinuing sceams of Malachite and Zoycite. Kori & Felix: The End! Woo-Hoo! [The same beeping sound that was heard earlier sounds again. The two look around until spotting a small little controller with a flashing red button on it. Kori picks it up.] Kori: To push or not to push. That is the question. Felix:[Ignoring Kori, she pushes the button] No, you no push the button. I push the button! [A screen appeared out of nowhere. First there was static, then a picture began to come into focus.] Felix: Is that... Kori: PEARL FORRESTER? Pearl: Who were you expecting? Dennis Miller? Kori: Wait a second. You really exist? I thought it was just a show? Pearl: Yeah, I'm real. I was getting fed up with Mike and the bots-- Felix:[wide-eyed and smiling] You mean they're real, too? Pearl: Yes, that's true. Anyway, I wasn't really getting anywhere with tormenting Mike and the bots, so you two are my new guinea pigs. Kori & Felix:[Monty Python] And there was much celebration. [wave around invisible flags] Pearl: Oh yes, how could I forget...WHO MADE THAT MOTHER OF PEARL COMMENT! Kori & Felix:[pointing at each other] She did it. Pearl: Whoever said it..[regaining composure] Well, whenever you see the button flash, press it. Felix: Duh, but why? Pearl: Because it's me calling, you half-wit. The bad news is that I can only contact you when both of you are in the same area at the same time. [Felix and Kori cheer] The good news is that even if you don't press the button, I'll show up. [The two grumble] Kori: So why send us this remote? Pearl:[shrugs] I don't know, it was Bobo's idea. Bobo:[in the background] Hello there! Pearl: Since you're finished with part one, I better send you part two very soon. [The screen disappears] Felix: Ok, let's go. [Felix tries to open the door, but it's jammed] Pearl's voice: Oh, I forgot to tell you, you'll be stuck wherever you are at the present time until you finish a series. Ta ta! Felix & Kori: NOOOOOO! ________________________ MST3K, Pearl Forrester, Bobo, Mike, and the bots belongs to Best Brains, INC. (I don't want a lawsuit, OK?) MFT1998, Kori, and Felix belong to me. "The Return of Malachite and Zoycite/Part 1" belongs to John L C & C can be sent to TJPhoen@aol.com.