MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATRE 3000 ChibiUsa's 7th Birthday A MSTing by Seth "Lefty" Triggs and Black Muse Note from Lefty: This could be the worst story ever written... ugh!! Note from Black Muse: Well, this has been an interesting couple of days. From the time I found this to the time I'm writing this is less than 24 hours. As for the fic, I can sum it up like this - I wish I never found it. MST3K is owned by Best Brains, Inc. By writing this, neither me or Lefty are trying to infringe on the original. Hell, I haven't even seen the original yet ^_^; Ranma 1/2 characters are the property of Rumiko Takahashi. Sailor Moon characters are the property of Naoko Takeuchi. This fic was written by Robert Tsunai, and I can honestly say he's welcome to it. I'd actually be happier if I didn't have to MST this. Oh well ^_^ [Satellite of Love] It was just a typical day in the SoL, with Tom and Crow fighting over a pointless argument, and Mike trying to hold them apart. [Planet of Hentai] "Pearl, Pearl! I found one!" Bobo cried out. Bobo rushed up to the waiting Pearl, handing her some paper. Pearl took a quick glance, and nodded. "Observer, send this up. Today is Judgement Day for them." Observer took the papers from her quietly. "Well, if this is the one to break their spirits... shouldn't you be celebrating?" Pearl nodded. "I'll be doing that soon enough. Right now... I have to throw up." With that, she ran off as fast as she could, holding a hand over her mouth. Observer shivered. What could possibly make her, of all people, sick? Better not to find out. Observer was about to send it up, when... "Stop!" A figure wearing a cloak and headband came up to the two, and quickly got into a fighting stance. "Give me that fanfic back, or there'll be hell to pay!" "How original," Observer muttered. "Bobo, did you take this fanfic from Mr. Lunatic here?" "Yes... he said it was the worst fanfic he'd ever seen, so I figured it'd be good enough for Pearl..." Bobo managed. "Well, that's just peachy. Well, what are you going to do if I don't give it back?" Observer said to the strange individual. The figure removed his headband to reveal a third eye in his forehead. "Idiot... I'm a self-insertion character." Observer blinked at that. "So... just imagine the worst thing that could possibly happen to you, then multiply it by several hundred. Good enough?" Observer pondered a moment, then replied, "Well, I'm sure Pearl would do something even worse to me if I let this one get away. I'm afraid I need more incentive." The figure, who is obviously Black Muse, cursed. He answered "Pearl? _The_ Pearl? I assume you're sending that up to Mike and the 'Bots, then." "Why, yes..." "Tell you what... I'll let you send it up, if you allow me to bring two... subjects of mine to join them." With no other (non-painful) alternatives, Observer agreed. [SoL] "Break it up, guys!" Mike yelled, still trying to separate the fighting robots. "Bill Gates is going to try to take over the world with his monopoly, you idiot!" Tom screamed. "Huh? I thought we were talking about the mating habits of ostriches." Crow replied. And, in that small moment of what-the-hell-is-going-on, two figures suddenly appeared before them... and they were recognized immediately. "Um, hello." the purple-haired youth said, looking around cautiously. "Where is the Black Rose, Kuno Kodachi now? Surely her darling Ranma can save her," added a black-haired youth wearing a gymnast's outfit. She giggled a bit at the thought of Ranma. "Okkkk... all of a sudden, Sailor Saturn and Kodachi are here? What's going on?" Crow asked. With that, the usual parade of sirens and flashing lights began. "I dunno, but we've got... APOCALYPSE SIGN?!" Mike yelled. "Apocalypse sign? You don't suppose..." Tom started. Before he could finish, he was quickly dragged into the theatre by Mike, as Crow took the liberty of escorting the ladies inside. [Dog Bone, 6,5,4,3,2,*] > ChibiUsa's Seventh Birthday SATURN: Well, seems innocent enough. > By Robert Tsunai CROW: Critic to the Stars!! > This is a hentai story about ChibiUsa. ALL: [stunned silence] TOM: No...that couldn't have been, could it? MIKE: I hope that we just imagined that. SATURN: (stunned) ChibiUsa-chan? > If you don't like Incest, Child sex, > lesbian sex, bondage, anal sex,or things like that you probably shouldn't MIKE: Move to Alabama. CROW: Or San Francisco. SATURN: ...let the author of such things live? KODACHI: Rant, rant, rant... read it a little before... *WHAM* SATURN: (clocking Kodachi with the staff of her Glaive) I don't want to hear a word from you for this whole lemon. Got that? read > this. TOM: Now he's telling us! > In this story, ChibiUsa has sex of some sort with every senshi. ALL: ARRRRRRGGHHHHHHH!!!! CROW: This is gonna hurt, isn't it? SATURN: (giggling wildly, eyes glowing) KODACHI: (groaning) Not already... If you want to > skip to a certain senshi, I've marked off the different people's with stars. MIKE: Can we skip to the end? TOM: Fat chance. KODACHI: (nudges Saturn) Do you want to skip your part? SATURN: (still in a frenzy, but nods) > Here is the order they do her in: > Mamoru - a good hard incestous fuck, bondage CROW: GYAH!! [faints] SATURN: (snaps out of it) Oh, please no... > Rei - An All-too -big rod and some torture. SATURN: _Why_ does everyone think Rei's into S&M? KODACHI: Do you mean big length-wise, or big width-wise? > Haruka First a good spanking then doubledildo sex. MIKE: [turns green] SATURN: Ehhh, well... this is Haruka... but with ChibiUsa? > Minako - Tit stuff and kissing and fondling > Michiru - They lick each other's pussies > Makoto Double Fist/double foot Fuck(lots of pain) TOM: Oh, man...Mike, you'd better have that fire extinguisher ready... KODACHI: (blinking) Double fist, double foot? I haven't tried that... SATURN: (muttering) Slut... > Ami - banana fucks ChibiUsa's butthole and whips. MIKE & TOM: AAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! SATURN: Ok, better Rei as an S&M freak than Ami... > Setsuna - Uses the Time staff on Small Lady MIKE: The... Time... Staff?! SATURN: I'm sure he meant the Time Key, it's a common... (does a double-take) The Time Key?! > Hotaru - They rub pussies and make out KODACHI: (starting before Saturn can say anything) Just be happy he didn't bring the Glaive into it. > Usagi - 69, tit stuff CROW: [getting up] Are we dead yet? TOM: Almost. SATURN: This is not right... (shakes head, crying) > Feel free to read this if you're a minor, though, people under 18 should be able > to have fun too! KODACHI: Damn straight! MIKE: This message brought to you by Ted Bundy. > It was CHibiUsa's seventh birthday, June 30th, same day as Usagi. She was very > happy as everyone gathered around her singing happy birthday. TOM: [singing] It's a singing... swinging... happy birthday, yeah! CROW: I have a bad feeling about this. SATURN: Suddenly, the world exploded. The End. KODACHI: (yawning) You're no fun. > She looked around again at them and noticed something - none of them had any > presents. MIKE: Brace for impact, guys. > "Wh-Where are the presents?" She asked, a little dissapointed. TOM: [Usagi] Oh... well, birthday presents are hard to come by when you're unemployed! KODACHI: Oh, we've got a couple of vibrators for you, you just have to find them! (turning to Saturn) So, where do you hide your weapons and transformation stuff, anyway? SATURN: (growling) > "This year you're getting a different kind of present, ChibiUsa," Rei said to > her. > "What kind? CROW: [Rei] We decided to be nice and call off the fanfic. MIKE: Wishful thinking. > "Your first sexual experiences," Makoto said > "What?" ALL: WHY?!!! KODACHI: (drooling) How?! SATURN: NO!! (clocks Kodachi) > "You will have an orgasm by each and every one of us," Usagi told her. TOM: This is NOT good!! Where's Child Protective Services when you need them? SATURN: You bastard... I would not allow this to happen. > "ChibiUsa, go to the bedroom and wait. We'll decide who goes forst." MIKE: [Minako] But, wait a minute... what does a German forest have to do with this? KODACHI: I'm guessing he's referring to a small bush. SATURN: Wha...? GYAH!!! > "I... I'm not sure about this.. I ... no, I don't wanna do this, " Chibi Usa > stated. TOM: Ah, good!! Someone shows some sense!! > Witrhout a word, Haruka picked her up and carried her to the bedroom. She > pinned her down and tied each of her limbs to the corners of the bed. ALL: WHAT?!!! CROW: DANGER... DANGER... FIC GETTING MORE WRONG... SATURN: Haruka doesn't believe in rape! ChibiUsa > screamed and writhed and yelled, but to no avail. Haruka joined the others in > the other room who were deciding who should go first. MIKE: Nobody hates Chibi-usa enough to do this, do they? TOM: Not even the I.S.M. could stoop to this indignity. CROW: Makes me wish for "Countess Chronicles". SATURN: (to the sky) What have we done to deserve having stuff like this written about us?! Huh?!! > "I should go first, I'm her mother!" CROW: [Usagi] Incest is best, when lust is a must.. *THWAP* MIKE: You're not helping, CROW! KODACHI: I'm still wondering what the big deal about incest is... (Everyone looks at her) KODACHI: What?! > "Can I? I'm her best friend..." SATURN: No, no, no!! I am not interested in her that way! > "She should have her virginity taken first, I should go." TOM: ...THE HELL?! CROW: GODS! They're deciding who is first to take the virginity of a 7-year old girl! This is just so wrong!! SATURN: And I thought rape fics of Minako and Makoto were bad... > "hey, I just tied her down... So let me go first." > Ami spoke up. > "I think Mamoru should go first.. He is her father, and she should have her > virginity taken. MIKE: Excuse me... [runs over to a corner and is violently sick] SATURN: (fuming) I don't think so, she's saving herself for Pegasus! KODACHI: Oh, what a big horn you have... SATURN: SHUT UP! > And no matter who goes first, we'll all get to watch anyway." TOM: This is what happens when you have Jeff Foxworthy plan your social occasions. SATURN: I would not stand by and... KODACHI: Oh, be quiet or I'll have to knock _you_ out! > THe others reluctantly agreed. They all stripped down and walked into the > bedroom where ChibiUsa was tied down. CROW: What the hell is this? An _Emanuelle_ movie? [MIKE and TOM look at CROW] CROW: Umm, not that I would know what one looked like... KODACHI [Apu]: Oh, they used nylon ropes this time... it feels so sensuo... *THWACK* SATURN: (slapping Kodachi) No. > ******************************** SATURN: (sighing) Twinkle, twinkle, little star... > The 9 naked girls sat down on the other bed to watch as Mamoru approached > ChibiUsa. TOM: Just then, the Tokyo police bust in and arrest the lot of them for endangering the welfare of a child. MIKE: Dare to dream... SATURN [Police Chief]: Shoot first... then keep shooting. KODACHI: These are your friends... SATURN: (shaking head) Did everyone get possessed again or something? > She trembled as he approached her. > "ChibiUsa, I'm going to take our virginity. This is going to hurt a lot, but in > the end we'll bith enjoy it." CROW: [Chibi] Who are you calling a "bith"? KODACHI: It doesn't hurt _that_ much... > "no.. Mamo-chan.." MIKE: She says no...pack up and go home!! TOM: Don't get your hopes up... KODACHI: Yeah, something else already is up... > He positioned his rock hard dick at the entrance to her pussy. > "ready, CHibiUsa-chan?" > "No!!! MAMOCHAN, NO!!!" CROW: LISTEN TO HER!! NOOOOO!! KODACHI: Can we at least get a condom on him? (Everyone looks at her) SATURN: He's about to take his daughter, and you're worried about condoms?! > He forced his huge dick into his tight, wet, 7 year old daughter's pussy. ALL: ARRRRGGGHHHHHHH!! TOM: [crying] This is rape!! It's wrong!!! MIKE: Don't look at it! [MIKE & the BOTS jump behind the seats] SATURN: Uhhh... oh, what the hell... [SATURN jumps behind the seats as well] KODACHI: (muttering) Wimps... > **************************** KODACHI: You can come out... CROW: Ah, good... that part's over. MIKE: Who... could write such a thing? > Rei got up. > "my turn," She said with an evil look in her eye. TOM: And naughty thoughts in her mind. MIKE: No, Tom. KODACHI: (nudging Saturn) Can I meet her some day? (SATURN mumbles something better unprinted) > In her hand was a large dowel, > with a diameter about the size of a soda can. She moved over to the crying > ChibiUsa, and without warning, pushed the 12 inch dowel into her aching, > bleeding pussy. ALL: GYYAAAAAHHHHH!! CROW: T-t-t-twww-twwwellve?!! Ssss-ss-soda can?!! TOM: TURN IT OFF!! TURN IT OFF!!! TURN IT OFF!!! SATURN: (eyes go wide, then she faints) KODACHI: Geez, it's not like she's putting it in sideways or anything... > SHe screamed again in pure pain as the huge object penetrated > her. [MIKE rips one of the seats out of the floor and tosses it at the screen. Unfortunately (or fortunately), it bounces back and knocks him out. The BOTS try to turn their heads as best as they can] > **************************** MIKE: [waking up] Ohhh... Hey! That part's over! CROW: [turning around] I don't know how much more of this I can take! KODACHI: Geez... do you guys always act so immature? SATURN: (waking up) I had a terrible nightmare... I dreamt... GYAH!! > Haruka got up next. She untied Chibi Usa and retied her face Down on the bed so > that she was on her knees. Haruka raised her hand and brought it down hard on > ChibiUsa's rear. TOM: Haruka into S&M? I had no doubt. SATURN: ... never mind. > ChibiUsa screamed as Haruka slapped her little ass again and > again. Haruka then turned her around again and got out her doulbe dildo. MIKE: Urgh... [vomits] SATURN: Well, that is something she would have... but not to use on Chibi-Usa... > She > pushed it up her pussy and set it on VIBRATE. She positioned it at ChibiUsa's > entrance, and pushed it in. ChibiUsa yelled again as yet antoher object foced > itself inside of her. KODACHI: Well, what else is she gonna set it at besides Vibrate? (SATURN sighs, and closes her eyes) [MIKE covers the BOTS' eyes/sensors, and closes his own. After a couple minutes, MIKE opens his eyes.] MIKE: Scene's over, guys. KODACHI: (sighing) > "We're done now, you guys can use it." > Makoto inserted it into her own pussy and began having sex with Setsuna. CROW: [sarcastically] Didn't see *that* one coming! KODACHI: Makoto/Setsuna? Well, it hasn't been done... > ***************************** TOM: [kid] I *will* beat that last level of "Space Invaders"!! > Minako arose. CROW: So to speak... MIKE: Crow... > "Now the goddess of Love get's a turn!" TOM: [Pat Sajak] And...she lands on Bankrupt...next! KODACHI [contestant]: I'd like to use my free spin... hey! > She approached ChibiUsa and untied her. KODACHI [ChibiUsa]: Awww, but I like playing hostage... > "ChibiUsa, do you like my tits?" KODACHI: Well, they're not bad... SATURN: Calm down, you... CROW: [Minako] Want a pair just like them? Go to Dr. M. Cleaver, 2389 Veneto Way, Sherman Oaks, California! (213) 768-3224. > "I.. I don't know..." ChibiUsa said blushing. > "I know you do because you're always staring at them when I talk to you..." TOM: [Chibi-usa] I can't help it!! I'm only TWO FEET TALL!! KODACHI [ChibiUsa]: Yeah? Well, why are you always flushed when you talk to me... (catches the end of the staff) oh, stop it already... > "You knew that I liked your tits?" > "Of course, and if you had asked I would have shown them to you, that's what I > did for the others when they asked." MIKE: [Minako] Well... written as asked. KODACHI: Huh? So, you're an all-lesbian group, then? SATURN: (growling) No. > "Can... Can I touch them?" > "Do whatever you like to them, ChibiUsa." CROW: [Chibi-usa] Can I deflate them? KODACHI [ChibiUsa]: Can I see how well they bounce? > ChibiUsa grabbed one and began squeezing it. She pinched the nipple hard. TOM: [Minako] Hey, cut it out! I'm not a ketchup bottle! KODACHI [Minako]: Yeah, that's milk! > "ChibiUsa, do that harder..." > ChibiUsa began pinching pulling and twisting her nipple harder. > "Bite them ChibiUsa!" CROW: No, bite ME! KODACHI: Ooo, ooo! Me first! Me first! > ChibiUsa took the other nipple in her mouth and began biting it softly. > "Harder, ChibiUsa!! MAke it hurt!" MIKE: [Chibi-usa] Okay! Rei, cue up that Michael Bolton CD! SATURN: What is this guy's obsession with pain? > ChibiUsa began biting hard now, as Minako screamed. At the same time, Minako > began rubbing ChibiUsa's pussy. ChibiUsa moaned and kissed Minako passionately. > Minako continued rubbing ChibiUsa's pussy as they french kissed each other over > and over. Minako located ChibiUsa's clit TOM: [Minako] A-7... and lock. CROW: What is it with lemons and the Sailor Scouts? SATURN [documentary voice]: The lemon writers are a dying breed... oops, I just killed another one. My bad. and began pinching it. ChibiUsa > moaned and came. MIKE: And went. The end. > "MINAKOCHAN!!!!" CROW: [Dr. Claw] GADGET! TOM: [Mumm-ra] LION-O! MIKE: [Driscoll] SAM! > Minako returned to the bed and Michiru arose. MIKE: [ballpark announcer] Pinch hitting for Minako... Michiru! KODACHI [announcer]: And she places her hands securely on the wooden bat... > ****************** > Michiru approached ChibiUsa. SATURN: ... and tripped, sparing us a few moments of sanity. TOM: Boy, nobody does walking descriptions better than Robert Tsunai. CROW: He's the next Gonterman. > "ChibiUsa, would you like me to show you what Haruka and I do every night?" > "Yes!!" MIKE: [Chibi-usa] But I only have one deck of cards, so we can't play Fourty Thieves... oh...that OTHER thing. SATURN: Didn't Haruka do that already? > Michiru sat down on the bed next to her. > "lie down and spread you legs." TOM: [Chibi-usa] Who are you calling "legs"? > ChibiUsa did as she was told. CROW: You know... it hasn't been as bad of recent. KODACHI: (licking lips) This part might actually be decent. > Michiru lowered her face to her hairless pussy and began running her toungue > down her pussylips. CROW: Allow me to bite my tongue. MIKE: You just HAD to say that, didn't you, Crow? KODACHI: (shivers) > ChibiUsa moaned in ecstacy as Michiru's toungue licked her. Michiru began > pushing her toungue into ChibiUsa's hole, tasting her pussy juice. TOM: From Welch! KODACHI [Homer]: Mmmm, juicy... SATURN: I can't believe you're getting off on this... > "Can I lick your's too, Michiru-san?", chibiUsa moaned. > Michiru got into 69 position. Chibiusa stared in awe at the beautiful pussy in > front of her face. KODACHI [Chibi-Usa]: Good kitty. SATURN: Aaaagghh... MIKE: You're not helping, Kodachi. She licked it, and Michiru moaned. She bean licking it > more, tasting her juices and sucking on her pussy lips. ChibiUsa found >Michiru's clit and cautiously took it into her mouth. SATURN: ... and accidentally bit it off. KODACHI: (wincing) Yeeeoooww... TOM: I would have expected that in the story!! She began flicking it >with her tongue and sucking on it. Michiru moaned loudly as ChibiUsa did this, >and began lickign ChibiUsa's clit. ChibiUsa writhed under her as she took it >into her mouth and lightly nibbled on it. KODACHI [announcer]: How many licks does it take to get to the center of... hey, don't bite it! SATURN: Kindly shut up before I decide to decapitate you. CROW: Green Giant niblets!! In your grocer's freezer! ChibiUsa began doing the same thing to >Michiru. Both moaned louder and louder as they sucked and nibbbled each other's >clits. >"Michiru-san!", Chibiusa shouted as she came, her pussy being taken over by >waves of pleasure. CROW: Man! If Haruka and Michiru do this every night, as they claim, their tongues must get tired! MIKE: Shut up, Crow! SATURN: I don't see what's wrong with this... (blinks) well, compared to the others... KODACHI: (yawns) Been there, done that... > As she came, she mistakenly bit Michiru's clit harder than she had been, causing > michiru to cum. ChibiUsa licked the pussy juice up, and Michiru returned to the > bed. TOM: [Michiru] That's a nice little girl... drink your juice! MIKE: Tom... > ************************* > Makoto whent over to ChibiUsa. CROW: From *whence* did she come? KODACHI: Setsuna. Weren't you paying attention? SATURN: We're trying not to. > "ChibiUsa, I hope you like pain..." > CHibiUsa nodded. "Yeah, I do actually.. " TOM: [Chibi-Usa] I read the entire American Kitsune series! SATURN [ChibiUsa]: Who do you think proofread this? > "Good" MIKE: ...for nothing! > Makoto ordered her to spread her pussy wide. She did, and Makoto pushed 2 > fingers inside her.. ChibiUsa moaned, ALL: NOOOO!! CROW: I hate to say this... but this is *worse* than Oscar! KODACHI: (yawns) > "More, Makochan!" > Makoto pushed a third finger up ChibiUsa, and then a fourth. [MIKE winces] TOM: Ouch! KODACHI: (raises an eyebrow, and smiles a little) > Chibiusa was writhing on the bed as Makoto put more in her. > Makoto finnally pushed her entire fist up ChibiUsa's tight dripping pussy. CROW: This is a combination of all of those anime lemon cliché³® > ChibiUsa screamed as Makoto pushed her fist in all the was past her wrist. ALL: @_@ TOM: NO MORE!! I GIVE UP!! KILL ME!! CROW: GYAAAHHHH!! SATURN: Oh, crap... MIKE: Hit the deck, guys!! [pushes them down beneath the seats] [MIKE gets up] Okay, maybe that's ... > "Makoto!!! Make it hurt more!!!!!!!!!!!!" TOM: [Makoto] Okay! Rei!! Pump the Hanson album! SATURN [Rei]: There's none here, BackStreet Boys and Spice Girls will have to do... > Makoto obeyed ChibiUsa and pushed her other fist inside CHibiUsa too. KODACHI: (blinks) Huh? CROW: ... TOM: What the hell?!! MIKE: I know that the genitalia of women can expand... but this is *really* stretching it! CROW: Don't mention stretch... urp. > ChibiUsa > now had both of Makoto's hands inside of her, and was bleeding all over the > bed. TOM: This *is* like "Countess Chronicles"!! SATURN: What _is_ Countess Chronicles? > Makoto decide to make it hurt even more, and took her clit in her mouth, > She began biting it hard. ChibiUsa was still screaming for more pain, so makoto > began pushing her foot into ChibiUsa's pussy along with her hands. ALL: GACK!! CROW: Whatever believability was in this fic has now been shredded into nothingness. KODACHI: I'm guessing this guy's never been with a woman. SATURN: You just figured that out now? > She forced > the whole thing in, and ChibiUsa's pussy began bleeding more, with two fists and > a foot in her. ALL: WHAT?!! TOM: What is she? A hollow sack? KODACHI: Hell, two fists is difficult... > "Make it hurt even more!!!!!!!!!" CROW: [Makoto] Okay!! Usagi!! Fetch the Drano! Open up, Chibi! TOM: Maybe they should feed some to the author. SATURN: (nudges Kodachi) Can I borrow some of your 'tonics'? > Makoto pushed her other foot into ChibiUsa. ChibiUSa was in so much pain that > she came, blood and cum spewing forth from her battered pussy. [MIKE rushes over to the corner and pukes] [SATURN follows suit in another corner] CROW: Uhh, Gypsy... we're going to need help in cleaning this up!! > Makoto returned to the bed, and as soon as she sat down, Rei spread her pussy > and began pushing the rod she had into her. He others joined in and bit her > nipples and clit. TOM: You know what, guys... we can pretend that this is a *good* lemon! Yeah!! Let's pretend it's Usagi's Usual Morning! MIKE: Please don't... no more Sailor Moon and lemons. SATURN: That's a good lemon? KODACHI: (sighing) > ********************** CROW: A godsend... a break in the fanfic! > AMi got up and went to the bed where the bleeding cum covered ChibiUsa lay. > "ChibiUsa, you're a bit too tender for anything vaginal, so I'm going to push > this banana up your asshole.", she said, holding up a long yeelow banana. SATURN: GYYAAHH!!! (dives behind the seats) CROW: Yeelow? MIKE: This is the first fic I've read with a cowboy accent. TOM: And guys? MIKE & CROW: What? TOM: Hit the deck, it's starting again. [MIKE & TOM duck beneath the seats] CROW: But I have one riff to make first... Boy, this is what happens when you let your senshi watch _Beverly Hills Cop_! MIKE: CROW!!! Get down here! [yanks CROW out of his seat] [After a while, the MST crew get back up] KODACHI: (shrugging) It's just anal sex... > Ami was smacking chibiUsa with both hands now as she pumped the banana in and > out of ChibiUsa's asshole.She called out, CROW: [Ami] RI-COLA! KODACHI [Ami]: How about some more fruit over here? MIKE: Damn!! We got up too early! TOM: I will never be able to go near a banana again. > "toss me that whip!" to the others on the bed. They chucked it to her and > resumed tortuening Makoto. CROW: They made her eat unpercolated coffee. > Ami took the whip and began whipping ChibiUsa's ass hard with it. At the pain > of the whip on her, ChibiUsa screamed. She abruptly turned around so ami's whip > hit her pussy instead of her ass. The pain searing through her made her cum. > Ami pulled out the banana and returned to the other bed. SATURN: (groans) ChibiUsa-chan... TOM: I don't think I can take any more!! PLEASE! KILL ME! MIKE: NO, TOM!! For all that is good and decent... we must survive... we must persevere!! CROW: Mike, we've never had it this bad before!! When will the pain end? > ********************* > Setsuna walked over to ChibiUsa, the time staff in her hand. SATURN: Oh, crap. (dives behind the seats again) TOM: Mike, we don't want to see this! We know what's going to happen! MIKE: One step ahead of you! [dives underneath the seats, followed by TOM.] CROW: Guys!! Wait... oh, no... [CROW is stuck in his seat, and his head is pointed towards the screen, as the horrible sex scene between Setsuna and Chibi-usa unfolds before his eyes] CROW: [weakly] Noooooooo... KODACHI: (shaking head) And you claim to be a hentai? [A few minutes pass] KODACHI: Oh, it's long past now... MIKE: [gets up] CROW!! [CROW's eyes are fried, as is the rest of his head] CROW: Gaahhhhhh... MIKE: Crow's fried, Tom! We have to get him repaired! [GYPSY ducks in and pulls out CROW] MIKE: Just us, Tom. > "oh PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!" > she screamed as she came. Setsuna removed the Time staff. MIKE: Pulling out all of Chibi's entrails, and she bleeds to death. The end. TOM: My, that's dark. MIKE: Well, it is a mercy killing. SATURN: Yikes... living through that would make her more warped than me... > "Did you like that, Small Lady?" > "Yes, thank you Puu!" TOM: [Chibi] For NOTHING!! > *********************** > Hotaru approached ChibiUsa shyly. SATURN: I am _not_ watching this. (dives behind the seats once again) MIKE: WHEN WILL IT END?! TOM: I think we're in lemon hell, Mike. > "ChibiUsa-chan?" > "Hotaruchan!!" MIKE: [Rocky] ADRIAN!! KODACHI [Saturn]: ChibiUsa-chan! (giggles) SATURN: Quiet, you, before I decide to find a lemon abusing you. > "I.. I don't know where to begin... ChibiUsa..." > "How bout kissing her, Hotaru-chan," Haruka encouraged from the bed. MIKE & TOM: SHUT UP, HARUKA! SATURN: (groaning) I'm not like that... > ""Ok.. ChibiUsachan.." > She neared ChibiUsa and kissed her on the lips. They began kissing > passionately, and ChibiUsa rolled onto Hotaru. TOM: Who then rolled into the path of an oncoming semi. SATURN [ChibiUsa]: Oops, just impaled myself on the Silence Glaive... MIKE: Nice try. > "Hotaru-chan," She moaned between kisses, "Let's rub our pussies together." KODACHI: Geez, just because they're abusing you doesn't mean you can abuse Luna, Artemis, and Diana... >"Okay", Hotaru moaned as ChibiUsa kissed her. >ChibiUsa positioned her pussy directly over Hotarus and began pumping her hips. KODACHI: Oh... so she's a piston now? TOM: [announcer] Industry... your friend! >Hotaru moaned adn moved her hips in time with ChibiUsa's. Bith girls were >dripping pussy juice all over each other as their pussylips ans clits touched >again and again. KODACHI: ... and again, and again... CROW: Nothing beats the Copper-Top... urgh. SATURN: Excuse me... (goes to the corner and throws up again) >Hotaru moaned as their sexes touched again and again. Both girls came as their >pussies met. KODACHI [announcer]: Next on Springer - people who get off by rubbing cats together. MIKE: [Hotaru] It gives you a wicked jolt, dude! >"Hotaruchan!" >"ChibiUsachan!" KODACHI: Ranma-sama! SATURN: (sitting down again) Is it over? TOM: 'Fraid not. > Hotaru laid there next to ChibiUsa on the bed for a few seconds as her orgasm > subsides. She kissed her best friend on the lips and returned to the other bed. TOM: [chanting] PLEASEMAKEITSTOPPLEASEMAKEITSTOPPLEASEMAKEITSTOP!!! SATURN: (shaking head) I'm not like that. KODACHI: I don't know, I think you two make a cute couple. > ******************************* > Usagi arose and walked over to her daughter. > "ChibiUsa." > "Usagi" MIKE: John!! TOM: Marsha! > They both instantly knew what they wanted to do. They assumed the 69 position > and began licking each others pussies. MIKE: Of course. [GYPSY drops CROW back into his seat] CROW: Is it over? MIKE: Not quite. SATURN: Well, we got through the worst of it, I think... KODACHI: WE? You guys skipped about half of this... > "Ummm.. ChibiUsa, you taste sooooo god" TOM: [God] Do not use my name in this *filth*! > "Umm, Usagi, oh!!" > ChibiUsa began squeezing Usagi's tits as she licked her, pinching the nipples. > Usagi began doing the same to ChibiUsa's small nipples. TOM: GYYAAAHHH... I...CAN'T...MAKE...IT!!! [head starts to smoke] [MIKE grabs the fire extinguisher and hoses down TOM before he can detonate] TOM: Ohhhhh.... SATURN: Unnnhhh, please... make it stop... > They both came to a climax as they licked each other's clits and squeezed each > other's tits. CROW: [delirious] Heehee... it rhymes... clits... tits... MIKE: We've been up here too long. > Usagi returned to the bed and ChibiUsa sat up. > "Everyone, that was the best birthday present ever!!!" KODACHI: But I still would've liked a vibr.. *THWOCK* SATURN: Quiet already... TOM: [Chibi] Okay, Police! Come on in! > "So, ChibiUsa, you up for another fuck?," Mamoru asked. SATURN: (jaw drops) > "Yea!" She shouted, as she ran over to the bed to have sex with all the others > again. ALL: WHAT?!!!! > The End ALL: YESS!! MIKE: Let's get the hell out of here!! [scoops up TOM and books out, followed by CROW.] [KODACHI has to carry SATURN out, who is completely stunned.] [SoL] "What... was that? Who could write..." Mike just couldn't finish. Kodachi was about to say something when she and Saturn disappeared. "Gee, not even a good-bye..." Crow muttered. [Planet of Hentai] "I don't understand... there is no way they could have any will to live after reading that..." Observer stammered. "Oh well... I'm sorry for you, really." Black Muse replied, then laughed. "Guess Pearl is gonna fry you anyway, huh?" With that, he disappeared. "Oh crap... ahhh, I'll just blame it on Bobo." [fade to credits] Well, I can only hope you managed to read this far. With a fic like this... anyway, this is just a satire, so kindly stop aiming that rocket launcher at me. Ja ne! Hope we didn't spoil your appetite or anything... 2 June 1998