Insane Fanfiction Theater 3000 #2! Fatal Fury: Boy's Night Written by: CATS MSTed by: J-Boogie On: 3/21/98 Disclaimer: Like I said before, this is only CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM!! Well, MY version of constructive criticism. Hee....the story being MSTed is a work of CATS......and he can keep it. So readers......have at thee! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Theme Song: In the not too distant future, In fact it's at the present date, There was a boy named Ryan, Who was going to meet his fate, He was to read fanfics his captor said Who turned out to be Oscar but wasn't he dead? And it seems that old Oscie is touched in the head Because Ryan was teleported to a place called Hentai Space.... (Argh! What now?!?!) Oscar'll send him crappy fanfics, the worst he can find(Lalala!) In order to find the exact one that will send him out of his mind(Lalala!) Now Ryan just can't control when the fics will begin or end(Lalala!) But to keep his sanity, he has the help of some Anime friends.... ANIME ROLLCALL!! Ranma!! (I don't belive this!) Akane!! (Oscar no Hentai!!) Ryouga!! (Where am I--Oh.) Ukyou!! (This just sucks.) Now you're probably wondering how they'll eat and sleep and other science facts (Lalala!) but just remember it's just fiction so you should really just relax!! On Insane Fanfiction Theater 3000! (Twang!) --------------------------------------------------------------------------- [The camera pans to the longue, where Ryan and Ryouga are sipping some cocoa.] Ryan: You know, I just thought of something. Ryouga: What's that? Ryan: This place needs a name...... Ryouga: Hmm......how about the cinema of doom? Ryan: Ah....too cliche. What about the citadel of the damned? Ryouga: Nah.....besides that's already taken. Ryan: Really? Ryouga: Oh yeah! I've been there a couple of times. Very dangerous...... Ryan: Ah....well, we still need a name..... Ranma chose at that moment to walk up to the table.....as a girl...and unfortunately (or fortunately for the drooling fanboys) topless. This causes Ryouga and, surprisingly, Ryan to spout nosebleeds and pass out. Ranma-chan: Guys? Guuuyyyss? Moshi Moshi? ::shrugs:: Oh well. ::mutters to herself:: Damn tomboy just HAD to wake me up like that, and I couldn't even find a shirt.....::walks off mumbling:: Akane: ::off screen:: I HEARD THAT!! Ryan and Ryouga come to as an audible thwack and then a thud come from the side of the screen Ranma walked off of. Cleaning themselves quickly, they sit back down. Ryan: I think I came up with a name...... Ryouga: What's that? Ryan: Hentai Space. Ryouga:.......I like it. Did you know this place has a bowling alley? Ryan: Really?!?! Ryouga: Yup, and an arcade room, a jacuuzi, and....probably a lot of other stuff I haven't seen yet. Ryan: Boy.... Oscar, for his own reasons, chose that moment to pop up on the monitor. Oscar: Greetings, my subjects! Ryouga: What the hell do YOU want?! Oscar: Now now, don't take that tone with me. Does Akane know about.... P-chan yet? Ryouga: ::pales slightly:: Um.... Oscar: Don't yell at me again. Now.....hey wait, where's the other 3? Ranma: ::staggering to the table:: Yo....::slumps into a chair:: Ryouga: Haven't you learned anything YET?! Akane and Ukyou walk in from the doorway, chatting idly. Akane:....and all this time I knew him I'd NEVER believe that HE'D....oh, hi guys! Ranma: That who'd what? Ukyou: Oh.....nothing. ::giggles:: Oscar: Ahem. Anyway, I have another story for you! Ryan: Alright, who wrote it? Oscar: Why, one of my favorite author.....CATS!! Ranma: AAAHHH!! ::dives behind the couch:: Cat?! Where?! Ryan: Uh.....the author...not the animal. Ranma: Oh. ::climbs back into his seat:: Oscar: The name of this story is Fatal Fury: Boy's Night! Ryan: ::cries:: No! For the sake of humanity.....and my SANITY, NO!! Ryouga: ::pats Ryan's shoulder:: Come on....we can get through it... Ryan: ::sniffles:: Ok.... Oscar smiles at them in the monitor. Just under his head a small sign pops up held by a white paw reading: [Help me! I've been kidnapped! Call the Sailor Senshi and get me out of here!!] That's when the sirens went off. Ryan: We'll deal with that later....WE'VE GOT FANFIC SIGN!! All: BANZAI!! They all ran into the theater and sat in their usual arrangement: Ukyou Ryouga Ryan Ranma Akane. >This is a Fatal Fury lemon story. It is by me, CATS. Please post it >with my Thundercats fanfic and the other story I am sending you (a >Battle Arena Toshiden hentai story!). Ryouga: HEY!! We had to read that crap before!! And it's TohshiNden!! Ukyou: Why'd you emphasize the n? Ryouga: Because the author forgot it! Ranma: Thunder..c..c-c... Ryan: Just think pleasant thoughts.... Akane: Ok.....Oscar roasting over an open fire....mmmm... >Fatal Fury: Boy's Night >by CATS Ranma shudders. >***This is a lemon fanfic about the characters from the Fatal Fury. I >did not create none of the characters Akane: I see a double negative...... Ryouga: And I see the need for pepto bismal after this story... > from this story so I have no hold >on them. If you are not old enough to read stories about sexually acts >between adults then read no further. Ranma: Oi!! Oscar!! Ya hear that?! We're not supposed to be here!! Oscar: I'm evil! I don't abide by rules! Ranma: ::grumbles:: > I will gladly except any comments. >This story is strickly ficitional.*** Ukyou: And that's "accept" and "strictly"! Ryan: I've got a comment......stay away from lemons. Ranma: Yeah, can't he write a good one, like Lemon Sherbert? Ryouga: Now THAT was a good story! Even if Ranma was the star.... A little subtitle flashes at the bottom of the screen- (Shameless plug - Go to Spoof Chase Productions! http://spoof.maison- otaku.net/ NOW!!.....after the story of course...) > Andy poured a glass of champagne into a two >glasses. He was happy that he decided to finally go "all the way" with >Mai. Ranma: You mean he actually made a decision about that?! Akane: Will wonders never cease.... Ryouga: Yeah, I mean all before he was usually so bitchy about keeping the relationship "clean"... Ryan: Oooh....bouncy bouncy boun-OW! Ukyou: ::sheathing the uber spatula:: Nitwit. > He walked over to the bed where she was sitting. She was wearing >a T-shirt and a pair of jeans. Andy walked over to her in his sil robe. Ryouga: silLY? Ryan: Nah....CATS was probably going for silk but he skipped the k because he was too lazy to press it. > He gave her the glass of champagne and sat down. Mai sat nervously, >knowing this was going to be her first time with Andy. Andy's palms >were sweating and he did not know what to say next. Ranma: Um...Mai....aww, damn this...let's get hot and horny baby! Akane: Uh...too late...do you need some talcum powder for those hands? > Mai sipped from her >glass and awaited the next move. Mai decided to make the move and out >her hand on Andy's thigh. Ryouga: AHHH!! Her hand came to life!! Ryan: After reading that last sentence.....I don't know what to make of it. Akane: I'd rather not try..... > He felt her hand and looked into her brown >eyes. He slowly leaned over to kiss her and the door knocked. Ryouga: The door knocked?! Ukyou: Ohayo Gozaimasu! I just knocked to tell you I'm here! Ryan: Yeah, Mai said she needed a big, flat piece of wood..... Ranma: Nani?! Akane: ::giggles:: Didn't I tell you? I like to give spankings! > Andy cursed under his breath and went to the >door. He opened the door and Joe was standing there with nothing but a >towel wrapped around his waist. Ryan: ::sighs:: And HERE we go...... > "UH sorry to bug you Andy but can I use >your shower. Mine is on the fritz again" he said. Ryouga: Yeah, it's starting to spray blood again and demonic chants are coming from my faucet. Ranma: And just where the hell did THAT comment come from!? Ryouga: ::shrugs:: I dunno. > Andy was depressed >and said "Sure come on in". Joe entered the hotel room where he saw Mai >sitting on the bed. Joe looked at Andy and then Mai and got the idea. >"OH WOW! Geez I'm sorry Andy. Isee that you are kind of busy right >now! Hey Mai be careful with him will you!" Joe said. Ryan: Yeah! Remember? He's sleeping with me every other day of the week! Akane: Ecchi! ::mallets Ryan:: Ryan: ::slurred speech:: Guh.... > Mai blushed and >Andy slapped his head with his hand. Ukyou: Ow!! Just because you're not using ME every night like you used to doesn't mean you can abuse me! > "I'll come back at another time" >Joe said as he headed for the door. "No wait!" Mai called out. She >slowly approached Joe. She kissed him passionately on the lips and >Andy's jaw dropped. Ryouga: Oooh.....Andy's gonna kill him.... Ranma: I don't think so. But what makes you say that? Ryouga: That's what I'D do! Ranma: But that's not you. Ryouga: So?! Ranma: Think about the last story...... Ryouga:......::small voice:: oh... > "MAI!" he said in a rage. Joe began kissing Mai >and pulling off her shirt. Andy headed towards them to break it up. >"No wait Andy! If we are going to make this our first time, why not >make it between all three of us" Mai said. Ryan: Ok! Believability factor - SOUND OFF! Akane: 3. Ranma: 5. ::gets malleted:: Ow! That's outta 10 ya know! Ukyou: 2. Ryogua: 8. ::gets stared at:: What?! If you'd have seen the stuff I'VE seen while travelling..... > Andy looked at her confussed Ukyou: And the author STILL hasn't figure out it's spelled "confused". >and shocked. The idea made Joe's cock rock hard. Mai finished pulling >off her shirt and then began to unzip her pants. Andy was still shocked >and din't know whether to stop her or help her. Akane: And for the sake of this story.....we know what it's gonna be... > Joe went behind Mai and >unsnapped her bra. He slowly pulled off the black laced bra and threw >it to the floor. Joe moved in front of her and began to lick her >swelling nipples. Ryan: Wow.....so they DO levitate.....::drools:: Mmmm...got milk... Ukyou: 1... Akane: 2... Akane/Ukyou: 3! Ryan gets whapped with the kick ass spatula, then gets driven further into his seat by mallet-sama. Ryan: Wow....I can actually TAKE this kind of punishment...::passes out:: > Mai moaned as Joe helped her pull down her jeans. >Mai slipped her legs out of them and began to kiss Joe. She stopped >kissing him and walked over to Andy. Ranma: Hey!! Oh well, guess it's back to buffing the helmet...OW! Akane: ::puts away her mallet:: Hentai. ::smiles:: > She slowly opened his robe and pulled >it off. Andy was wearing nothing under his robe and Mai began to feel >the length of his cock. He was at least 10 inches long. Akane/Ukyou: Big whoop. ::blinks and turn to each other:: No kidding! Ryouga and Ranma glance at each other, then turn back to the screen. > Joe walked >over to them and moved Mai out of the way. Joe slid his hands across >Andy's broad chest. Ryan: ::wakes up:: Is it over? ::glances at the screen:: AGH!! > Joe slid his hands across Andy's broad chest. He felt >Andy's hardening nipples. Joe pinched each one and moved down towards >Andy's cock. Andy didn't know what was going on but he was enjoying it. Ranma: Jeez, we're what? 5, 6 years younger? And we know more than him! Ryan: ::grumbles:: Ranma: Huh? Oh yeah, no girlfriend..... Ryan: Shut up! > Joe knelt down and began kissing Andy's >chest. Andy moaned and let Joe lick his nipples. Ryan: Because Andy knew that he was trapped by the author who was blackmailing him with pictures of him and Yuri Sakazaki in....compromising positions. Ranma: You know...I can actually see that happening. Akane: What, you can see Yuri naked and in compromising positions?!?! Ranma: No! Andy getting blackmailed! Don't hurt me! > Joe moved slowly down >to Andy's penis. Joe, with one move took all of Andy's cock in his >mouth. Ranma: ::clutches his stomach:: Uh....excuse me...::spins around in his seat and vomits over the back of it:: Ryan: K-kkkhhh.....ARRGGHH!! ::passes out:: Ryouga just slumps over. Akane: It's a slap in the face of their masculinity, right? Ukyou: Right. > He began licking all over the head over Andy's member. Andy >groaned as Joe lciked the shaft of his cock. Ukyou: Ow! Wouldn't that hurt getting kicked there? Akane: No, look at the word again, I think it's supposed to be "licked". Ukyou: Oh.... > Joe moved up and down on >the length of his dick. He slowly kissed he piss slit and worked his >way to Andy's balls. Mai began pulling down her soaked panties. She >was getting wet watching the two boys in action. Akane: Well, she's the only one then..... Ukyou: Yeah, I don't see it either.... Ranma: ::plops back down in his seat:: Other two pass out? Akane: Yup. Ranma: Damn..::slumps down in his seat:: > She stepped out of >them and walked to Andy. She kissed him on the m,outh as Joe kept >sucking Andy's balls. She began kissing on Andy's neck, sucking on it. > Andy moaned and his knees began to give way. All this pleasure was >making him feel so good. Ryan: ::blinks and wakes up:: Is it over? Ranma: Not by a long shot. HEY, P-CHAN!! Ryouga: Bwee?! Uh....rrrannnMAA! > Joe stood to his feet and lead both of them to >the bed. He laid Andy down and told Mai to fuck him. Mai quickly >jumped on the bed and moved to Andy's prick. Joe got behind her and >slipped a ginger in her wet cunt. Ryan: So now they're playing with roots? Kinky! Ranma: Couldn't the author have written that better?! Ryouga: Oh yeah? How would YOU write it? Ranma: Well...::clears his throat:: "Joe stood up and led them both to the bed. He pushed Andy down gently and told Mai that he was ready. Their relationship would be consumated, as they originally planned. She climbed onto the bed, gazing lovingly into Andy's eyes. Mai moaned in pleasure as Joe slid his finger into her waiting entrance....begging, no PLEADING to be filled by the one she loves. She..." ::notices everyone staring at him:: What?! Akane: ::gazes at him in awe:: Ranma.....I never knew... Ryan: ::claps:: Well done, Saotome. Eloquently stated. Ranma: ::rubs the back of his head:: Heh, just saying it don't have to be written so crudely.... > She moaned and stopped her movement. > She began to move up and down on Joe's finger. She grunted as he put a >second finger in her pussy. Joe began rubbing on Mai's clit, parting >her lips. Ryan: Which set? Akane: I'd hit you.....but I was wondering the same thing. > Mai moaned and sweated as she fucked Joe's fingers. Joe then >slipped his fingers out of her warm cunt. "Now fuck him!" he said in a >commanding voice. Ryouga: Jeez, for a guy who just came in for a shower, he's being bold! > Mai got on top of Andy and placed his cockhead at the >opening to her pussy. She slowly pushed his dick in her, enjoying it >stretch the walls of her delicate pussy. She moaned and so did Andy as >they slwoly fucked. Ranma: Slwoly? Nah, I'm letting that go, too easy..... > Andy took hold of Mai's hips and began pumping her >on his cock. His 10 inches went as far as they could go inthe ninja >girl's cunt. Mai relaxed and enjoyed feeling her boyfriend's cock run >the length of her wet pussy. Her juicies dripped from her pussy onto >his balls. Joe moved on the bed to Andy's chest. He got on top of him >and aimed his cock for Andy's mouth. Andy opened his eyes in surprise >and slowly opened his mouth. Joe forced his 8 inches into Andy's mouth. Guys: ::slump in their seat, holding their stomachs:: > He beagn fucking Andy's mouth as Mai was doing his dick. Joe groaned Ryan: What...::gulps::...the hell is beagn? >as Andy sucked and licked his cock. Soon Mai climaxed all over Andy's >dick. Andy kept up the blowjob he was giving Joe. Joe enjoyed the >tongue action Andy was giving him. "I'm GONNA cum....." Andy said as >spurts of semen went into Mai. Ukyou: Tut tut.....and no protection either. Akane: Ah, you know how it goes. It happens when you want it to happen. Ukyou: And damn good thing too! Ranma: ::gasping for breath:: Why's that? Akane: Because we wouldn't have as much fun with you! Ranma: Oh.....good... > Joe continued fucking his cock in Andy's >mouth until they heard a knock at the door. Mai got off the bed and ran >to the door. There stood Andy's brother Terry with nothing on but a >hard dick. Ryan: You know, I don't even WANT to know where the hell he got THAT outfit from! > He stood there with his at least 11 or 12 inch dick slapping >his stomach. Ryouga: Why do I have the feeling CATS thinks up all these scenes because they're......fantasies?! Everybody else: ::groan:: > Mai greatfully let him in, where terry saw his younger Ukyou: Yet another typo. Ryouga: I don't CARE about typos! Let the damn thing end!! >brother giving Joe a blowjob. Joe put his head back and let out a huge >roar as he came in Andy's mouth. Andy was surprised and took as much of >the cum as he could. He swallowed it and Joe got off of Andy. Terry >walked over to Andy and pulled on his dick. Andy began to get hard in >his older brother's hand. Terry began sucking all over Andy's dick as >Mai walked back over to the bed. Ryan: That's it! Ryouga, Ranma, let's fight! Ranma: Huh? Why?! Ryan: Would you rather watch THIS thing anymore?! Ryouga: Good point. HIYAAH!! Akane and Ukyou blink as Ryan, Ranma, and Ryouga start brawling in front of the screen. Akane: Hey! Ryan! I thought you couldn't fight! Ryan: ::yells back:: You get inspired when you're desperate! XUXA!! A dust cloud starts forming as the fight drags on, thankfully blocking the screen, and you hear the occasional yell and grunt. Ranma: KACHUU TENSHIN AMAGURIKEN! {thud,thud,thud,thud,thud,thud,thwack} Ryouga: BAKUSAI TENKETSU! {KA-BOOM!} Ryan: FUNKAY HAME HA!!{THWOOM!} Ukyou ducks the ki beam that flies out of the dust cloud. Ukyou: I guess Ryan MUST be desperate if he can come up with a ki attack... Akane: Well....I don't want to see the rest of this thing either. BANZAI! ::leaps in:: Ukyou: Hey, wait for me! ::jumps in as well:: And cue to the dust cloud.... Ranma: MOUKOU TAKABISHA!! {WHAM!} Ryan: SHAKIN' BAKIN' BURST!! {thwap,thwap,thwap,CRACK!} A giant spatula zooms up and out of the dust cloud. Ukyou: OKONOMIYAKI COOKOFF BARRAGE!! A bunch of okonomiyaki and spatulas come flying out of the cloud, and right after it ends, the mega spatula zips back into the dust cloud. Akane: SUPREME MALLET SMASHER!! A giant mallet pops out of the dust cloud and goes flying back into it. {WHAM!} Ranma: HIRYUU SHOUTEN HA!! Ryouga: SHISHI HOUKOUDAN! Ryan: DISCO INFERNO!! Ukyou: RENZUKO OKONOMIYAKI DAN! Akane: TORA RAIU GEKI! The resulting explosion causes the screen to go white. As it clears we find everybody back in their seats, smoking slightly. Ryan: ::coughs up some smoke:: wow...that was fun.... >They all cleaned up and slept on the bed together. Ranma: Alright! It's over! Let's get out of here! And so, everybody files out.....running that is. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- We find our intrepid group in the arcade room, taking a break. They're all sipping milkshakes as they talk about the last fic. Ryouga: Jeez.....that was just awful..... Ranma: You said it....though the fight was cool! Ryouga: There wasn't a fight in the story..... Ranma: I meant OUR fight! By the way...where'd YOU guys come up with attacks like that? Ryan, Akane, and Ukyou look at each other and shrug. Akane: Like Ryan said, you really DO get inspired when you're desperate. Ukyou: Well, you can't use that "I'm not a martial artist" argument anymore, Ryan. Ryan: ::grumbles:: Like that ever mattered before. Oscar: ::pops up on the monitor:: Hello! So how are you feeling? Ryan: Battered, bruised, and alright. Ryouga: Ditto. Oscar: Oh....damn. Now I've got to find something REALLY bad! Ranma: It CAN'T get any worse.....can it? Another sign pops up beneath Oscar's head: [If you can't get the Sailor Senshi, call anybody! Moroboshi Ataru, Kunou Tatewaki, Rally Vincent, Anna Puma, Morrigan Aensland.....ANYBODY!! HELP!!] Oscar: Artemis! It's time for my daily rubdown! A cry of the damned comes from the monitor just before it shuts off. Ranma: I wouldn't wish that on anybody.....even a cat...... Everybody else: Hear hear... --------------------------------------------------------------------------- You can all reach me at WHolden535@AOL.COM to tell me how I'm doing. And if you're interested, catch my website at http://members.aol.com/WHolden535/wacky1.htm! Jaa ne, minna-san! MST3K is copyright of Best Brain's inc. Duh. Ranma 1/2 is property of Rumiko Takahashi. Sailor Moon is property of Naoko Takeuchi. And Darkstalkers is property of Capcom. "He slowly leaned over to kiss her and the door knocked."