Miyuki-Chan in HentaiLand: By William Geiger An MSTing by the Psimaster (Look out world!) exeter@direct.ca NOTE: This story is a lemon. More than that, it's a really weird lemon. I bear no responsibility for any permanent insanity caused by any of the content within. If you are under 18 or cannot handle erotica without having a priest ready to exorcise you, I recommend that you stop reading about now. Really. LEGALITIES: All Mystery Science Theater 3000 characters are property of Best Brains, Inc. Miyuki-Chan in Wonderland is the property of Clamp. Miyuki-Chan in HentaiLand is the property of William Geiger, so all you big publishing companies know who to go to... ^_^ This MSTing is copyrighted to me! Me! ME! (I've never had a copyright...) Still with me? Then let's-a go! ============================================================================== (If you don't know the title song by now...) ============================================================================== The Satellite of Love, 4:00 P.M. 4:30 in Newfoundland ============================================================================== Michael J. Nelson was in a heap of trouble... Crow had him cornered in the second stage of "Spleenbuster's Happy Place" in "Ultimate Unreal Quaking of the Doom Nuke". Gypsy had locked herself in her room with about 150 tapes of everything from Sailor Moon to Fist of the North Star in order to make herself sound like an otaku, just like the rest of the crew. (She was doing well enough, but 80 straight hours of watching anime after anime had made her cranky and incoherent.) Tom was busy downloading a ton of useless crap off the Internet and erasing programs he felt unnecessary, like Mike's e-mail messages from his family and parts of the Windows core programming. "Hey, the game demos are getting really big nowadays..." Tom always put it. To top things off, Dr. Forrester had sent word that Gizmonic Institute was being audited, and he'd sent Frank up to the Satellite to avoid having to pay extra taxes for having an assistant. (He didn't want to claim him as a dependent, because that would insinuate that he wanted to be near Frank frequently, and the thought bothered him to no end.) Frank had come to the SOL only an hour earlier, and Mike had to show him around. The scariest part was when Frank asked where the oxygen and food supplies were. Fortunately, Mike had been able to deflect that question with technobabble, but there was no telling when Frank would decide to get nosy... Mike's train of thought was promptly derailed by Crow T. Robot's deranged cackles. "Ha HAA! Prepare to taste the wrath of my Flesh Immolation Cannon, puny carbon- based mortal!" With that, Crow fired off an energy sphere the size of a small country at Mike's quivering body. The game ended a few seconds later. "Where do you find that cannon, anyway? I've looked all over the Spinemelter plant, and all I find are throwing knives." Mike dusted off his jumpsuit and left the Holocabana. "Why, Mike, you know me... I'm a master of the art of blow-you-to-high-heck- jitsu. It's a zen thing; you have to *be* the gun. *Feel* the gun." ============================================================================== Tom was talking to Frank about some of the fics and movies they had been subjected to as they awaited orders from Dr. Forrester in the main lounge of the SOL. Frank was beginning to weep openly. "And then, Setsuna took the Time Staff..." "PLEASE! No more! I'm so sorry..." Frank whimpered loudly. "But I haven't even told you about Gonterman yet!" complained Tom. Mike walked into the lounge and sat down with a sigh. He decided that he would stop Tom from destroying the mind of an innocent. After all, Frank wasn't *too* evil. "Tom... do you think you could keep from driving Frank insane until he leaves?" What would Dr. Forrester do if he knew that Frank had been tormented during his tenure on the SOL? Mike didn't want a repeat of the "Chibi-Usa's 7th birthday" fiasco... Tom Servo hovered over to Mike as menacingly as a bubblegum machine with Slinky arms could. "I am *trying*, Mike, to give back what we've received. Do you know that we've gone through 6 more of my heads in the past week?" "Leave Frank alone. He's just a pawn in all this, and you know it." "But Miiiiike..." Mike put his hand on Tom's shoulder. "Listen, Tom, when we get back to Earth - and we will - you can vent all your frustrations on Dr. Forrester. Okay?" Tom sighed. "Okaaaaay..." As if to reinforce Mike's comment, Dr. Forrester appeared on the viewscreen. "Hello, Beavis, Butthead, Winger..." Frank walked over to the screen. "What about me, boss?" "Shhh! Frank, you idiot! Don't call me 'boss', remember? The auditors will be here any second..." A door opened behind Dr. Forrester... "Torgo?!" Torgo, the Man of the Impossible Knees, walked up to Dr. Forrester. He was wearing a navy blue business suit which seemed to be about ideal for his build, although his knees were obvious through the well-pressed fabric. His hair had obviously been styled by a professional. He carried in one hand a clipboard along with two pens in his jacket pocket. In his other hand was a jet-black suitcase. Mike, Frank and the bots could only gape in amazement. Dr. Forrester was the first to speak. "I thought you worked for that pizza delivery service!" "YeS, BUt tHe MasTEr tOLd mE I wAs NoT FiT tO lIcK HiS bOoTs. hE SaId I wOuLd bE BeTtEr sUiTeD tO a jOb iNteNDeD fOR CoMpLEte mOrOnS. SO, hE dEciDeD tHaT gOVerNmeNt wOrK wOUlD bE PeRfeCt fOr mE." Torgo paused to think for a moment. The terrified Mad whirled to the screen. "I really need to break you now, or else my deductions will be struck down! Prepare for "Miyuki-chan in HentaiLand", fools!" Frank did a double take. "What?! You mean..." A familiar cascade of lights and klaxons flared. "OH NO, WE'VE GOT LEMON SIGN!" Frank couldn't believe what he was hearing. "But... but..." Mike was in a panic. "No time for regrets, Frank! Let's go!" (Door 6: It's a picture of Haim Saban. You burn through it and continue.) (Door 5: It's made of straw. You blow it down.) (Door 4: It's made of sticks. You knock it down with your fist.) (Door 3: It's made of bricks. You wisely decide to use the doorknob.) (Door 2: It's a complicated math problem. You write "Need More Time" and it disappears.) (Dog Bone) Crow, Tom, Mike and Frank enter. Mike and the bots sit in their usual seats, while Frank sits on the left of everyone else. >From the newsgroup rec.arts.anime.creative, a post by PHPN65A@prodigy.com >(William Geiger) Tom: The Geiger counter reads "1 bad fic", guys... >----- > > I'm writing this along with CATHARSIS as a sort of small protest >against the deluge of Ranma/A!MG/SAILOR MOON Lemons that are out there. Crow: Oh yeah... nobody wants to read about Urd stripteasing... Tom: Or Makoto getting it on with Minako... Mike: Guys... calm down, okay? Give him a chance. Frank: Are they always this way, Mike? Mike: Yeah, but come on... we haven't seen women in *years*... >Although a number of these stories are good, people aren't taking >advantage of the large number of anime available as targets for this sort >of story. Frank: What's the point? All lemons turn out the same anyway... Mike: Now you're getting the hang of it! Frank: (hopeful) You really think so? > GUNBUSTER is such an obvious choice for a lemon that I was >surprised that nobody had written one, Crow: Okay; anyone who's heard of "Gunbuster", put your hand up... (Tom flails one of his arms ineffectively) Crow: Yeah, I kind of figured it would be the otaku fanboy. Tom: Shut UP... > so I took the first step. I hope >people will 'expand their horizens' when writing lemons after reading my >two lemons. ^_^ Mike: (stoner) Whoa, man! These lemons are great for expanding my mind! Frank: Well, it makes sense... things happen in lemons that would NEVER happen in real life. > Plus, I do think there should be more then the 'Wham-bam! Oh My god! >Usagi's a closet pervo!' Stories. Tom: Hey, wait a minute... this guy's got some good points. Mike: Don't be so sure; why would Forrester send it to us? > try focusing more on erotica (soft-core >for those who don't know ^_^) tenderness is more interesting then >tentacles. Mike: Sailor Sukebe Says! Crow: Isn't she one of the Hentai Scouts? > >************************************************************************* > >MIYUKI-CHAN IN HENTAILAND >Miyuki is trademarked by CLAMP, please don't kill/sue me Crow: Clamp? Is this a bondage fic? (Frank starts squirming nervously) Mike: Don't worry, Frank. We're here... Frank: I've... never actually done this... Mike: Well, you can shut your eyes during the bad scenes. Crow: Yeah... if you're a wuss, that is. Mike: Crow! >************************************************************************* > > > Miyuki quivered as the cat woman leaned over her. Crow: (ecstatic) Puma Twins! Puma Twins! Tom: Crow, this obviously isn't Dominion Tank Police. Crow: (sulking) Well, you just *had* to ruin my fantasy, didn't you? > She had been >wandering in this strange forest when the woman had appeared out from the >branches of a large tree. Miyuki had tried asking her where she was, but >the woman had merely climbed down and now had her hands up Miyuki's >shirt. Mike & Bots: Whoa! Frank: Geez... even Oscar attempted to create a plot before any of the ecchi... > "This can't be happening." Miyuki whimpered and clenched her eyes >shut. The air started to shimmer, signaling that Miyuki was about to be >whisked to some other part of this land. The cat woman snarled, not this >time. Tom: (singing) The girl is mine! The doggone girl is mine! Crow: (announcer) Speaking of hentai, heeeeere's Michael Jackson! Mike: The King of Pop! Frank: And special friend to children everywhere... Mike: (shocked) Frank!! Crow: Welcome to the club, my friend! > "Of course it isn't happening." The woman purred. Miyuki opened an >eye and the shimmering in the air stopped. "Huh?" Crow: The horny catwoman kept her from leaving. Oh, hoo-RAY. > "I know how you came here." The woman leaned back, letting Miyuki sit >up. "You do?" Miyuki asked. > "Of course. You followed a rabbit and fell down a hole. Frank: (Miyuki) Of course! Your hard logic is so refreshing! Tom: (Miyuki) Yeah... do you have guns here? I haven't eaten since last night, and that rabbit was *so* big and juicy... Crow: (Cat Woman) I can show you something else big and juicy, if you like... Mike: Crow! Crow: What? I meant prime rib! Mike: Yeah, sure... > You met a >talking door, drank some tea that shrunk you down and met the rabbit, a >madwoman and a dormouse having tea. And now you've met me. Do things like >this really happen?" Mike: (Miyuki) Well, not usually, but this is the fifth time this month. Tom: (Cat Woman) Come on... you can trust the catgirl who felt you up a second ago! > "Uh.." Crow: Duh... Tom: Guh... Frank: Man! This Miyuki-chan is one dynamic character! > "Tell me." Asked the woman. "What does this remind you of?" The woman >smiled broadly, her white teeth flashing. Tom: Oooh! Oooh! I know! It's your impression of Mary Hart, right? > Suddenly, she became >transparent and slowly faded away, leaving only the smile hanging in the >air. Mike: (Cat Woman) Dangit! I never remember to take this thing with me when I leave the forest... Crow: Twizzlers... makes mouths happy! Mike: Shameless Product Plug #1... > "Aiyaaa!" cried Miyuki. She looked closely at the smile, and thought. >She suddenly remembered.. > "Wonderland!" Miyuki yelled. Frank: Wunderbar! Tom: But... this is a rather ecchi version of Wonderland, isn't it? Mike: It's probably where the title comes from... "Hentai-Land", remember? Tom: Ah. A hentai version of the classic children's story. (pause) I think I'm going to be sick. > "Of course!" The woman faded back into view. "And I am the Cheshire >cat. Just call me Cheshire. Crow: So Miyuki is being seduced by the catgirl equivalent of Happosai? Mike: (turning green) Well, when you put it *that* way... ugh. > "But how can I be in Wonderland?" Miyuki asked. > "Well." Cheshire said. "How did Alice go to Wonderland?" Tom: A Klingon Bird of Prey? Crow: Hammerspace? Frank: Second star from the right, straight on till morning? Mike: That was Neverland, Frank... Frank: Oh. Well, at least this isn't a Captain Hook lemon. (Mike and the bots proceed to beat the hell out of Frank) Voice of Dr. Forrester: Hey! Leave him alone or I'll give you the rest of "California Dreaming"! (Mike and the bots proceed to run back to their seats) Frank: Oooohhh... remind me to never mention that again... Mike: Well, at least he learned his lesson. > "Um.." Miyuki thought "She feel asleep and it was only a dream!" > "Your such a smart girl!" Cheshire purred, time to reel this morsel >in. Tom: (redneck fisherman) She's a big 'un, too! Crow: (fisherman) Gotta be 100 pounds, at least! Tom: (fisherman) Boy, I'd like to mount her... Mike: TOM!! Tom: (fisherman) ...on my wall. Mike: Oh... well, okay then. But I'm warning you... > "And so are you! Your safe in your bed having a dream!" > Miyuki gave a sigh of relief. Suddenly she gasped. "But I want to >wake up! I don't like it here!" Frank: (Miyuki) The editorials in your newspapers are insulting to my intelligence, and the government is corrupt! Tom: (Miyuki) And your frozen yogurt is bad for my complexion! Mike: Good to see you're back with us, Frank. > "But why not?" asked Cheshire. > "The people are so nasty! All they want to do is fondle me." Crow: Hey! I think you'd better start appreciating your situation, young lady! Tom: I'd reprimand you, Crow, if I didn't agree completely. Mike: Oh, be quiet, the both of you. Crow & Tom: (muttering) Virgin... Mike: HEY! > "But that happens in dreams."Cheshire mused. Tom: So Cheshire's turned into Malahelicon? > "Haven't you ever had >those sorts of dreams?" > "Well, I...." Miyuki blushed and poked the tips of her fingers >together. Crow: (Cheshire) No... that's yaoi. Mike: CROW! > "Oh come now!" Cheshire adomished. Crow: ...no, it's too easy. Tom: A-dom-ished? Is this going to turn into bondage after all? Voice of Dr. Forrester: Just you wait... heh heh... Frank: (nervous) What's that supposed to mean? > "Its not like I'll go >running around telling everyone. Your secrets safe with me." Miyuki >didn't see the edge of Cheshire's mouth curl up and a predatory look flit >across her face. Mike: (nature show host) And now, the 'Felinius Ecchius' closes in on its prey. Crow: Oh, the savage eroticism of nature. Tom: Well, PBS *is* desperate for ratings... > "Um..Yes." Miyuki blushed furiously. > Cheshire leaned up against Miyuki. "And how about flying? Crow: Been there... > Walking >nude down the street and nobody noticing? Crow: Done that... > Being super strong? Crow: Wrote an S-I fic based on the concept... Tom: So you're really General Peterson? Crow: No... mine was actually interesting to read. Tom: Ah. > People have >these dreams all the time. There's nothing wrong with it." > "But I want to wake up." Miyuki toyed with the ends of her hair. Frank: (falsetto) Then just click your heels together and repeat to yourself, "There's no place like sane... There's no place like sane..." > "Let me tell you what." Cheshire scooted over to face Miyuki. "You >know how when you come to the end of whatever you do in your dream you >wake up?" > Miyuki nodded. Mike: Actually, that rarely works. But... that's okay, in this world. Crow: Hentai-Land... the place to be for insanity and illogic... Tom: Ah, logic is overrated anyway. > "Well, if you would have a little fun with me, I promise that you'll >wake up just in time to get to school. What do you say?" > "Uh, fun?" Miyuki asked warily. Crow: (Cheshire) Yes... you *have* played Korean Suicide Darts, haven't you? > "Yes." Cheshire ran her finger along Miyuki's thigh. > "Wahh!!" Miyuki facefaulted. Frank: (tennis referee) Facefault. Loss of serve. 15-love, Cheshire. > "How about I just get you some yarn to >play with?" Tom: Because balls of yarn are frigid in bed? Mike: Tom... what exactly are you talking about? Tom: Come on, Mike. We're obviously dealing with a very strange lemon here... we have to fight it with weirdness. > "Oh come now." Cheshire leaned closer. "It's only a dream, Your >virtue will be safe. I promise." > 'This has to be a dream if I'm in Wonderland' Miyuki thought 'And >I'll wake up right after this..So..And it's only a dream." Crow: Ah, yes. Another lemon staple... Mike: What's that? Crow: The fact that it takes a normal woman about 10 seconds to justify spontaneously becoming a lesbian. Mike: Ah... > "Ok." Miyuki whispered and lay back on the grass. She wrapped Her >arms around Herself. Frank: So Miyuki's a goddess now? Tom: Well... you've got to figure there's a certain amount of worship going on here... otherwise, why would there be a lemon? Mike: Oh... my... Goddess! Tom & Crow: It's Megami-Sama! (All pause) Crow: Whoa... deja vu... > Cheshire lay next to Her, softly purring."It's only >a dream." Miyuki whispered. > "Relax." Cheshire purred. "Here." Cheshire sat up and put Miyuki's >head on her lap and stroked her hair. Cheshire sang a song that of course >consisted mostly of purrs and Miyuki began to relax. Mike: Geez, I hope it isn't that song that the Siamese Cats sang in "Lady and the Tramp"; I would have ripped Cheshire to pieces if she sang that. > "I'm going to fall asleep in my dream." Miyuki whispered. Frank: (ballpark vendor) Irony! Get yer ice-cold irony right here! > Cheshire grinned and reached behind her back and tugged on the >zipper of her suit and brought it down. She switched hands and pulled it >down partialy, exposing her firm breasts to the cool night air. Her >nipples hardened at the wind's caress. Crow: (Cheshire) Not now, wind! I'm trying to score with this chick! > "Just a momment' Cheshire said and held Miyuki's head gently as She >spread her legs and rested Miyuki's head on the ground. Cheshire smoothly >rolled back and slipped the suit the rest of the way off. Her pussy hair >was the same yellow as the hair on her head, Crow: Ah, another lemon cliche. Mike: And that is? Crow: Pubic hair is always the same color as hair on the head. > and Cheshire could see the >lips parting as her clit pushed up with excitment. Her sensitive nose >caught her scent and she licked her lips. Crow: Now *that's* flexibility! Frank: Crow! Stop being a hentai! Mike: Thanks for covering for me there, Frank. > Cheshire put Miyuki's head back in her lap and stroked her head some >more. Miyuki glanced up to see Cheshire's breasts hovering over her along >with Cheshire's smiling face. Miyuki gasped and tensed. Tom: (Miyuki) Um... is this part of the song? > "Relax, it's only a dream,' Cheshire purred. > "A dream." Miyuki relaxed slightly. Cheshire massaged Miyuki's >temples until she could feel the tenseness leave Miyuki. Cheshire stroked >Miyuki's cheeks, then her chin and trailed her fingers along Miyuki's >neck to the knot that was Miyuki's Fuku scarf. Tom: (Cheshire) Ah! She has built-in bondage equipment! Crow: (car dealer) Yes, it's the '98 Miyuki! She has built-in bondage equipment, easy manipulation and an adjustable seat! Mike: Crow... > Cheshire's nimble fingers >undid the knot, and she purred "Its ok." As she tossed the scarf to the >side. > Cheshire rubbed Miyuki's shoulder's and her fingers danced down >Miyuki's blouse, unbuttoning it. Mike: Michael Flatley *is* Cheshire's fingers! > Cheshire rubbed down the length of >Miyuki's arms and caught the edges of Miyuki's blouse and spread it open >revealing Miyuki's white bra. > "Cold." Miyuki said as goosebumps sprung up. Tom: (Miyuki, as cavewoman) Cold. Miyuki need pretty dancing light. Will catgirl make pretty dancing light? > "I'll keep you warm." Cheshire said as she rubbed Miyuki's arms and >shoulders Cheshire slipped a hand down and flipped the latch of the bra >open. She slowly opened the bra and her eyes gleamed as she viewed >Miyuki's young breasts. The nipples were hard, if only from the night >air. But that would change. Frank: So Cheshire's going to try to un-arouse Miyuki? Tom: But... that doesn't make sense... urrgh... Mike: Tom... calm down. Tom: ...it's OK. I'm just a little irritated, that's all. > Cheshire did not touch the breasts. She instead brought Miyuki's arm >up to her and placed it betwen her own breasts. "See? I'm warm." > "Um.." Sighed Miyuki Crow: (Miyuki) Um... you're cutting off circulation to my hand, strange lecherous catgirl... > "Let me rub your feet." Cheshire purred "If your feet are warm, the >rest of you will be warm." Cheshire laid Miyuki's head on the ground and >craweled over to Miyuki's feet. Taking one in her hands, she took off the >shoe and sock. She then did the same to the other,She then lifted one up >and started to gently rub it. Cheshire pressed it against her breast as >She did so. Tom: (Cheshire) And I will love this foot, and hug it, and pet it, and call it George... > Miyuki looked up at Cheshire, she didn't mind that her blouse and bra >where undone. 'A dream' she thought. The moonlight shone through >Cheshire's hair and seemed to make her skin glow. Cheshire looked so >beautiful, and she was so nice. Mike: Miyuki not being familiar with the concept of 'molestation'. Frank: I wanna go home... > Miyuki felt heself warming up, the light >wind no longer bothering her. > Cheshire massaged down the ankle and calf, she lifted Miyuki's skirt >up around Miyuki's waist and rubbed her fingers into the thigh muscles. >"Your a little tight here." Mike: Oh, man! She's got a charley horse *there*? (All clutch their groins in sympathy) > Cheshire whispered as her fingers danced >along Miyuki's inner leg. Cheshire glanced at Miyuki's white panties and >spied a small damp spot. She inhaled, and smelled Miyuki's scent. Crow: (falsetto) Yes, with our douche, you too can-erk! (Mike clamps his hand around Crow's beak) Mike: Finish that thought, and I have Gypsy recite to you Richard Basehart's filmography. Crow: (meekly) I'll be good. > Cheshire finished her massage and lay next to Miyuki. "How do you >feel?" Cheshire pressed her body up close. > "I feel so relaxed, and warm." Miyuki murmered. > Cheshire slid her arm around Miyuki, her hand resting just below the >side of Miyuki's breast. "I'm glad you stayed." Cheshire purred. "I've >been lonely. Nobody stays long in a dream." Tom: (sarcastic) Gee, I wonder why... > "I don't want to wake up yet." Miyuki sighed. > "We all have to wake up some time." Cheshire said. "But we have to >enjoy what we have." > "Thank you for being so nice." Miyuki said. Mike: (Miyuki) I wish I could be molested *every* night! (All stare at Mike in horror) Mike: Look, I have this thing about pedophilia, all right? > "Thank you." Cheshire purred and with one finger, turned Miyuki's >head towards her. Cheshire lips lightly brushed Miyuki's. Miyuki kissed >back and the kiss deepened, soon Cheshire's tongue speared down into >Miyuki's mouth causing Miyuki to moan. Frank: (Miyuki) You put a spear in my tongue! Aaaagh... Crow: Wow, he's really breaking down; he's resorted to being literal to fight this lemon... > Both broke the kiss and giggled, then kissed each other more lightly. >Cheshire slid her hand up and lightly cupped Miyuki's breast, Miyuki >gasped into Cheshire's mouth as the cat woman's hand stroked her breast. >Cheshire rubbed Miyuki's nipple between thumb and forefinger, causing it >to harden. Tom: But wasn't it already hard before? It certainly would have hardened during all that stimulation... Mike: Don't think too hard, Tom... > "More." Miyuki sighed. Cheshire grinned and nibbled Miyuki's chin Mike: (Juggernaut Hordling) *CHOMP* Yum! > as >She threw a leg over Miyuki's body. Cheshire pulled Miyuki up slightly >and removed her blouse and bra before laying her back down. Cheshire then >trailed light kisses down Miyuki's throat and chest. Pausing at Miyuki's >breast, Cheshire flicked out her tongue All: (make whip-cracking sounds) Crow: Indiana Cheshire and the Lost Virgin! Mike: Crow... > and licked Miyuki's nipple. > Miyuki yelped as she felt Cheshire's bristly tongue on her nipple. Tom: Given the fact that a cat's tongue is supposed to be like sandpaper, I'm not surprised... (shudders) >Miyuki arched her back in an attempt to push more of her breast into >Cheshire's mouth. Miyuki clasped Cheshire's head with both hands, Her >fingers tangling in her hair, and rubbing the cat ears. Frank: As opposed to what? Demonic horns? Mike: Well, the Cheshire catgirl *is* acting exactly like a succubus... Tom: Coincidence?! I think not! > Cheshire purred and began to kiss down Miyuki's stomach. Miyuki's >scent was overpowering, mixing with Cheshire's as she reached Miyuki's >waist. Cheshire saw Miyuki's panties were soaked, Crow: (falsetto) Miyuki... you're soaking in it. Mike: Crow... ah, hell, I don't care anymore. This fic is confusing me too much for me to think rationally. Frank: (realizing something) Confusing? Uh-oh... Mike: Frank... Is there something you're not telling us? Frank: Well... Forrester's under a lot of pressure. He wanted to take the deductions on all of his equipment, but he needed to make this experiment a success to justify them as "scientific equipment". Mike: So he wants to dispose of us immediately... Frank: Exactly. This is a two-part fic... Tom & Crow: WAAAAAAAHHH!! Frank: ...right. Anyway, the first part is meant to confuse us, and the second is supposed to drive us right off the edge. Mike: But why are you telling us this? Frank: Well, you're the only ones who can keep *me* from going insane... right? Mike: Uh... right. Okay, then; let's fight this lemon proper. All: Fight! Fight! Fight! > and rubbed her nose >against them as she unlatched Miyuki's skirt, then lifted Miyuki's hips >so that she could toss it to the side. Now only the panties remained, >Cheshire leaned forwards and extended her fangs. Crow: Yikes! Snuff porn! Mike: Crow, I don't think he's THAT sadistic. Crow: I sure hope not... > Taking the straps >between her teeth, Cheshire made short work up the cloth. Leaning back >up, Cheshire reached forewards and took the ends of the straps in Her >fingers, and with the slow motions of a one unwrapping a gift, brought >the fabric down revealing Miyuki's pussy. Tom: And who could better appreciate pussy than a catgirl? Mike: Tom! Tom: Oh, come on, Mike. You were thinking the exact same thing, and you know it. > Cheshire growled as she gazed at the feast before her. Miyuki's pussy >was framed by a light covering of curly blond hair and the lips were >swollen Crow: Insert your own Mick Jagger joke here. > But Cheshire's eyes were locked on Miyuki's clit. It protruded out, >and was bright red. Cheshire inhaled and and her head swam with the >smells of sex. Frank: (Cheshire) Yum... Puma twins and a vat of Jello... (Mike & the bots stare at Frank) Frank: What? A guy can dream, can't he? > Rivulets of cum trickled out of Miyuki's pussy, something >had to be done about that. Tom: Yeah! She should dress herself up and get the hell out of Hentai-Land! Crow: Go Tom! (All make 'crowd applause' noises) > "Miyuki-chan" Cheshire purred. > Miyuki opened her eyes. It was hard to focus, but she saw Cheshire >sitting between her open legs. The moon was to Cheshire's back and >although they shouldn't be. Cheshire's eyes glowed. Mike: Wha?? Crow: Has Dr. Thinker taken too much Spanish Fly? All: EW!! Tom: (Beavis) Shut up, buttmunch! I'll kick your ass! > "Hai?" Miyuki asked. > "Your such a mess." Cheshire said as she trailed a finger down >Miyuki's stomach. Miyuki saw that she was covered in a light sheen of >sweat as was Cheshire. She looked further down and saw that her pussy >hairs were matted down. Crow: Wet women going at it! Woo-hoo! Mike: ...no, you can go ahead, Crow. I'm open to any comments which will decrease the amount of pain this fic is causing me. > "I'm so warm." Miyuki whispered. > Cheshire laid herself out on the ground and kissed Miyuki's inner >thigh. "Of course. Let me help you out, by cleaning you." And Cheshire >licked Miyuki's clit. Tom: (prissy) Tsk, tsk. Such an inefficient cleaning tool. Mike: I can recommend a good mop... > Miyuki cried out as Cheshire's bristly tongue stroked her. Miyuki >ground her hips into Cheshire's face as Cheshire deftly nibbled Miyuki's >clit, the thought of her fangs being so close frightened and excited >Miyuki. Crow: Turned on by the potential of extreme pain in the sexual organs, are we? Geez, this is really offending my sense of taste... Tom: Nani? You have taste? Crow: Oh, bite me, bubblegum boy. Mike & Frank: Stop it, the both of you! Tom: Wow! Two old wives in one theatre, what are the chances? > Cheshire lapped up Miyuki's fluid and licked Miyuki's pussy lips. >Miyuki's back was arched, and her hips were completly off the ground, >letting Cheshire squeeze her buttocks. Miyuki grasped her breasts and >began rubbing them and tugging her nipples. Mike: This is playing out like a surrealistic porn film. Crow: Say... that gives me an idea... perhaps after the fic... > Cheshire slid her hand around Miyuki's leg and rubbed her thumb >lightly across Miyuki's pussy, casuing the girl to whimper. Cheshire >pressed harder and her thumb split open Miyuki's pussy lips. Sliding it >down, Cheshire pressed it against Miyuki's opening. She paused. Crow: Arouse. Rinse. Repeat. Tom: If only this fic could be discarded like a used shampoo bottle... > "Now what should I do with this?" Cheshire mused as she ran Her >thumb in little circles. Miyuki looked up. "Please." she begged. Mike: (Miyuki) Please let me go. I don't wanna be here... Crow: (Miyuki) Please teach me to be as evil as you. I'd like to get my revenge on you one day. Tom: (Miyuki) Please explain why Wonderland has fallen into such debauchery. Frank: Vague, surrealistic porn... your point's well taken, Mike. > "Please what?" Cheshire asked and pressed lightly against the >opening. > "Put it in me" Miyuki panted. Mike: And so she did, impaling Miyuki through the heart and ending the dream. The end. Tom: Is this lemon making you that dark, Mike? Mike: ...yes. > "This?" Cheshire held up her thumb "What should I put it in?" > "In theeerreee." Miyuki whined as she pointed at her pussy. Crow: My God, do I have to ram it into your face to make my point clear? Uh... never mind... Tom: Good hentai statement. I give it an 8.3. > "What this?" Cheshire gazed at Miyuki's pussy as though she never saw >one before. All: Duhhh... Mike: I take back my previous point. This IS surrealistic porn. > "My pussy!" > "Oh, so it is! How nice!" Cheshire lightly kissed it causing Miyuki >to groan. > "Nooo! Don't tease me!' Miyuki cried and pushed her hips towards >Cheshire. Crow: After all, you've been teasing me for a whole 3 minutes! I've got a schedule to keep, y'know! Tom: B-ko, move over! There's a new pushy schoolgirl in town! > > "Oh! I'm sorry! Should I leave?" Cheshire leaned up. > "No!" Miyuki howled. > Cheshire pouted and lay back down "Well what should I do?" > "You know!" Crow: Now who's being vague? Mike: How should I know?! It's not my fault... (Silence) Frank: Wow... Mike's really been hit hard. Crow: Yeah... maybe next time I'll let him win at Ultimate Unreal Quaking of the Doom Nuke. Frank: Wha? Crow: I'll tell you later. > "I do?" Cheshire mused "Why don't you tell me what I should do?" >Cheshire's thumb hovered over the entrance to Miyuki's pussy. > Miyuki licked her lips. "Put your thumb in my pussy!" > "Oh! If you insist." Cheshire plunged her thumb into Miyuki's pussy, >causing Miyuki to scream and rotate her hips. Tom: Ah. This must be some of the "tenderness, not tentacles" policy the author was talking about earlier. > Cheshire pistoned her thumb >and flicked her tongue over Miyuki's clit. Miyuki grunted and moaned as >Cheshire slid two more fingers in and pumped her. Miyuki was emiting >short moans as Cheshire's fingers moved faster and faster. > "Unnngghhhhhh!!!" Miyuki screamed and orgasmed. Crow: That's it? Geez, no wonder Cheshire wanted it to last as long as possible. Mike: But that would mean an extra section of lemon... Crow: Ah, yes. I take it back, then. > She cummed all over >Cheshire's tongue, who proceded to lap up as much as she could and licked >Miyuki's pussy and thighs clean. Cheshire lay her body across Miyuki and >kissed her. "Did you like it?" > "Oh, Yes!" Miyuki panted and hugged Cheshire. > Cheshire soaked up the afterglow for a momment. "Now me." > "Huh?" Miyuki looked confused. Frank: (Miyuki) Dearest me... I *never* expected the lesbian who made love to me to ask me to return the favor. Crow: What a putz this girl is. > "Since I was so nice to you. Its only right you return the favor." > Cheshire sat up and leaned back against the tree while pulling Miyuki >up with her. Mike: (Miyuki) *thunk* OW!! You threw me headfirst into a branch, you... > > Cheshire spread her legs, and Miyuki saw the bright patch of hair >framing an erect clit and dripping pussy. > "I've never." Miyuki started to say. Crow: ...read such disgusting imagery. Mike: What about "The Coming of Munihausen"? Crow: Um... okay, I'll give you that. > "Oh I'm sure you'll do fine." Cheshire took Miyuki's face in Her >hands and Miyuki suddenly noticed the tips of claws underneth the skin. >"Just think of it as an ice cream cone." Tom: (Miyuki) Oh, thanks. THAT helps. > Cheshire gently pulled Miyuki's >face against her belly and pushed downwards. > Miyuki's nose was the first to become aware of Cheshire's pussy, the >smell was very sweet, like candy. Miyuki eyes then locked on it. The hair >seemed even lighter next to Cheshire's tanned skin, and the pussy lips >puckered as if blowing a kiss. > Miyuki lightly pressed her lips against Cheshire's pussy. Cheshire >began purring loudly and impaitently lifted her hips towards Miyuki. >Miyuki took a quick lick and marveled at the taste of strawberries. And >the clit looked like a berry. Crow: You know, there's a lot of food-related imagery at work here... Mike: I don't think I'll ever eat again. Tom: If I had a humanoid digestive system, I'd second that notion. Mike: (confused) Uh, thanks, Tom... I think. > Miyuki began licking in ernest. Crow: (Ernest) Hey Vern! You'll never believe what's happening to me! Mike: CROW!! Crow: What? It wasn't that ecchi, was it? Mike: No... it's just that I *really* hate the Ernest movies. Crow: And you don't want to think about him reproducing, or getting any... Mike: Exactly. > She pressed her face as close as She >could and drove her tongue into Cheshire's pussy. Cheshire clutched at >Miyuki's head and started meowing along with the purrs, she then braced >her hands on the ground and thrust her hips up. Frank: Throwing Miyuki into a nearby clearing. Tom: (spaceman) We have reached maximum thrust, Houston... > "Nibble me." Cheshire commanded and Miyuki lightly took Cheshire' >clit between her teeth and pressed them together. Tom: What?! That's not nibbling, it's biting off! Crow: Ouchie... Frank: Well, THAT'S going to sting for a while. > "Uhh..Puurrrrrrr!" Cheshire felt herself beginning to cream as Miyuki >began thrusting her tongue like a miniature penis into her. Crow: Uh... is "miniature penis" the best thing to say about intercourse? Frank: Oh... it's so *small*! Mike: Frank... do I have to inflict deep hurting upon you? > "Uhh..Fingers!" Cheshire said and Miyuki brought her hand up, then >suddenly paused. > 'What should I do with these?" Miyuki asked. Remembering Cheshire's >cruelty. Crow: (announcer) "Miyuki-chan: A Lesson in Cruelty". A shocking new made- for-TV movie... coming soon to NBC. > "Oh,I think you know!" Miyuki caught a dangerous tone and looked up >to see a sweat covered Cheshire looking at her like with a slightly >frightening look. "Just do what comes naturaly." Mike: Okay... (makes running and screaming noises) > Miyuki plunged a finger in, causing Cheshire to yowl and arch Her >back, Cheshire's pussy swallowed all of Miyuki's finger, so Miyuki >slipped another one in, and another. Until she was practicaly fisting >Cheshire. Tom: Ah... the joys of softcore erotica. Voice of Dr. Forrester: Compared to your next torture, this *is* softcore. Mike: Again with the threats! Tom: It's beginning to wear thin, I say... > Cheshire hissed and then purred as Miyuki pistoned her fingers in and >out. Miyuki began licking Cheshire's pussy like a girl with a mouth full >of sweet teeth, Crow: A "mouth full of sweet teeth"? (All snicker) > her head swam with Cheshire's scent and was becoming >drunk on Cheshire's cum. Mike: (Miyuki, slurred) Howwwwshabout a little more of that fairy drink? Crow: All right! Now that Mike's gone hentai, it's *party time*! Mike: I'm not that far gone, Crow... Crow: Oh, poopie. > "ROWARRRRRRRRRR!!!" Cheshire howled and cummed all over Miyuki's hand >and face. Miyuki almost choked on all the fluid and tried to swallow it >all, but was no match for Cheshire. Frank: (Stanley Spadowski) You get to drink from... the FIRE HOSE!! (All make crowd cheering noises) > Miyuki collapsed, and Cheshire lay down on the ground with Her, >gently licking her face clean. > "I'm so tired." Miyuki murmmered as she snuggled up against Cheshire. > "Thats it." Cheshire purred and stroked Miyuki's face. "Just close >your eyes." Soon Miyuki began to shimmer and faded away. Cheshire lay >there for a momment before stretching and began cleaning Herself. She >felt SO much better, and won't the others be so jealous when she told >them what happened. Tom: (Cheshire) Hey everyone! Guess who molested a little girl today? (All make fighting and clawing noises) > Cheshire lay back on the grass and let the cool wind >blow over her as she purred contentedly. > Miyuki suddenly opened her eyes as she felt a warmth come over her. >She saw sunlight and sat upright with a gasp as she saw herself lying in >a small clearing. Her clothes were lying next to her and her skin was >still sticky from her encounter. Crow: (Miyuki) What's this paper on my stomach... "Official Hentai-Land Flytrap"? > "Wha? Where am I?" Miyuki grabbed her panties, but saw that they were >runined, she then put on her skirt and threw her blouse on. > "I'm not back home?" Miyuki saw a castle in the distance and saw >women painting women who looked like flowers. Mike: Nani? Frank: I've never seen a woman who resembled a flower... although Dr. Forrester's mother could pass for a dandelion... > "I thought this was a dream!" Miyuki's face contorted in anger. "She >tricked me! CHESHIRE NO BAKA! HENTAI!" > "Who are you calling Hentai?" Miyuki turned at the voice and saw a >tall blond woman walking down a path towards her. She wore a hat that had >a heart on it, and was dressed in a leather suit that had spikes on it. > she was also carrying a whip. Tom: (Duckman) I've said it before, and I'll say it again... DWAAAAAAAA!! Mike: Th-th-that's the Queen of Hearts?! (Tom's head begins to glow) Crow: Tom... calm down... think of nice, new RAM chips... Tom: ...NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! (Several beams of light emit from the center of Tom's dome head. A loud whirring noise can be heard, increasing in volume and pitch. More and more light beams fire from Tom's dome. Mike, Frank and Crow hide themselves at the back of the theatre. As the whir reaches its crescendo, it stops... and then Tom's head explodes violently, sending sparks and scorching beams of white light everywhere. As the blast area settles, the rest of the gang cautiously approaches the seat in which Tom sits with his now-scorched dome.) Frank: Uh, Tom? Are you all right? Tom: (weakly) Almost made it through an entire fic without having my head explode... Mike: We'll get you a new head after it's over. For now, you just relax. Tom: (weakly) Fine with me. > "I said." The woman snapped in an authoritive voice "Who are you >calling Hentai?" she stood before Miyuki and tapped her whip. > "Uhh.." Miyuki stammered "I certainly didn't call you Hentai ma'am." > "YOUR MAJESTY!!!" The woman yelled and cracked her whip. Crow: (godly) FALL TO YOUR KNEES, PUNY MORTAL!! Mike: You get the feeling somebody needs to re-evaluate their social skills? > "Yes, you Majesty!" Miyuki said. "I was calling Cheshire a Hentai." > "Oh?? You call one of my most loyal subjects a HENTAI???" > "But she made me have sex with Her!" Miyuki cried as she began to >back away." Mike: (Miyuki) That's grounds for a molestation charge! Crow: (godly) HA!! YOUR INSIGNIFICANT IDEALS OF "LAW" AND "MORALITY" MEAN NOTHING TO ME!! > "Oh?? And you make slanders against her morals? That she likes >little girls rather then ME??" The queen was very angry and advanced on >Miyuki. "Your going to be punished for that! Get down and lick my boots! >The Queen cracked her whip at Miyuki's feet. Crow: Geez. It's no wonder she's a bondage fanatic; she doesn't seem like the "sanity-enhanced" type. Frank: Now, Crow. It's not fair to lump regular bondage fanatics in with this particular bondage fanatic. > "Waaaaaaaa!" Miyuki cried and ran off. "I just want to wake up!" The >Queen charged after her cracking her whip while yelling "PUNISHMENT!"> Mike: I wish... I wish I could wake up from this nightmare... > >FIN > > Crow: Eh?! It's over! It's really over!! Crow, Mike and Frank: YAAAAAAAAY!! Tom: (weakly) Yay. (All exit the theatre in a brisk sprint) (Dog bone, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6) ============================================================================== Crow and Frank sat in the lounge, exhausted. Mike was busy in the workshop designing a new head for Tom, who could be heard moaning in pain. Dr. Forrester popped up on the screen with a part gleeful, part nervous look on his face. "Well! How are my little lab rats doing, I wonder?" Frank stood up, angered. "Why am I being subjected to this?! I demand to know!" "Consider this another part of your contract with me, boobie. Remember, I get to use you in any of my experiments." "Contract?! All I've signed in my entire experience with you was a pizza delivery reciept!" "Exactly." Frank quickly went from angered to horrified. "You don't mean..." Dr. Forrester chuckled knowingly. "Yes... you're *officially* my hapless victim." Crow jumped to Frank's defense. "That's illegal! I'll have you know-" Dr. Forrester stopped Crow in mid-sentence. "Sorry, nitwits; Emperor Knee-ro here's about to check out my secret equipment. I'll have to prevent him from leaving, I think..." Forrester cackled gleefully to himself. "Anyway, I hope you enjoy the next part of this exciting saga: 'Miyuki-chan in Hentai-Land Pt. 2'! Frank, push the bu- oh, sorry. Force of habit." Frank and Crow were already launching into a furious tirade as Dr. Forrester pushed the button. ============================================================================== (Fade to black. Over the credits, Dr. Forrester can be heard moving equipment around and mumbling to himself.) ============================================================================== NOTES: Well... my first MSTing. Did you like it? This particular battle isn't over yet, not by a longshot... I'll have it wrapped up after I finish Part 2. (In other words, the concluding host segment is short because it's setting up the second part. I swear, it's not because I'm creatively bankrupt...) All comments, criticism and praise (hopefully a lot of praise ^_^) can be directed to exeter@direct.ca. Again, "Miyuki-chan in Hentai-Land" is property of William Geiger, who's been a very good sport about it. I'd invite you to MST my own works, except I don't have any yet... that should change, though. (I'm going to write a story with my Fourth Wall Guards if it kills me, or at least gives me a mild case of the sniffles.) The "Megami-Sama" riff is done with apologies to Megane 6.7. Also, I don't mean any ill will towards anyone who's into bondage... but come on, it's the *Queen of Hearts*, people! Keep circulating the fics! > "Oh I'm sure you'll do fine." Cheshire took Miyuki's face in Her >hands and Miyuki suddenly noticed the tips of claws underneth the skin. >"Just think of it as an ice cream cone."