Princess Zoisite Re-MST! - www.ezboard.com The Pucker-Up Forums > Look At Me, I'm A Star > Princess Zoisite Re-MST! << Prev Topic | Next Topic >> Author Comment Subaru san Saucy! Posts: 174 (8/9/01 6:21 pm) Reply Princess Zoisite Re-MST! Hi, everyone remembers my first MST, 'The Swan Princess'? Well, I Re-MSTed it since I realized how much more I could add (I.E more comments!). And I also want you guys to tell me your favorite comments. Thanx. RUBEUS: I’m bored *eats potato chips* I want to get a QUALITY fic for once! SAFFIR: Remember? We don’t GET good fics! We get bad ones only. I guess this is Neo-Queen Serenity’s punishment for us. *holds bottle of wine* I hope I can pass out from being drunk. I don’t WANT to read another bad fic. DEMANDO: Right. WISEMAN: I got some news! We are MSTing ‘The Swan Princess’ by Princess Zoisite! EVERYONE: PRINCESS ZOISITE!!?? BLACK LADY: You mean that little brat who flames anyone who mentions the male Zoicite and writes some of the most vile hentai fics known to man!? WISEMAN: Yes. BLACK LADY: Please, let this end quickly! The Swan Princess Once upon a time in the Enchanted Emerald Forest there lived a lovely young girl named Zoisite and her two younger sisters, Mina and Lita. RUBEUS: What an original start…… CARABERAS: Mina, Lita and Zoicite being sisters is just not right. The poor girls had lost their parents DEMANDO: Who sensed this wasn’t going to be a good fic and ran away. and lived by themselves in a little thatched cottage, BLACK LADY: Don’t they know that those are fire hazards? with only a few hens and sheep to keep them company. COOAN: *whips out ax* As company for dinner! Preferring the peace of the forest to the nearby town, PETZ: Apparently, she didn’t see ‘Grave of the Fireflies’. And the lesson to that was if you have no community to take care of you, you’re dead. they tended a garden and shared chores, and made up games SAFFIR: Like ‘Find-the-tack-in-the-shoe-by-sticking-your-foot-in-it’? and stories to cheer themselves. BERUCHE: Like the idiotic hentai stories Princess Zoisite writes…. WISEMAN: Idoitic? I love them! EVERYONE ELSE: *sweatdrops* One day when Zoisite went to fetch water for herself and her sisters to wash with, she discovered the well to be dry. ESMERAUDE: *blinks* ‘To be dry’? Where was this girl during her English classes? "Oh dear," she thought. "What will we do?" CARABERAS: Go to a convenience store and buy bottled water! She returned to the cottage with an empty pail. RUBEUS: *in Zoycite voice* Hey, lets PRETEND that there is water in the pail! "No water," she told Mina and Lita. BLACK LADY: *in Zoycite voice* Nuff said. "Eeek! How will I wash my hair?" squeaked Mina, displaying her long shiny blonde locks. "It needs washing everyday!" PETZ: No shit, Sherlock! ANYONES hair needs washing everyday! "More important, how will we drink? Or cook?" asked Lita. WISEMAN: There is such things as Pepsi and instant dinners. SAFFIR: They aren’t supposed to have them. "I'll have to search for some," said Zoisite with a sigh. "We need water." BERUCHE: *in Zoycite voice* Or we’ll have to use lemonade for the rest of our lives! "Want some help?" "That's all right Lita. You two stay here and work on our pillows, okay? CARABERAS: Yeah, beating Mina with them, no doubt? COOAN: That’s you! CARABERAS: Oh yeah!? I'll be fine" Zoisite put her shawl and hood over her little homespun dress and started for the door. SAFFIR: *in Zoycite voice* Wow, this dress is REALLY itchy! "Well at least take this," said Lita, handing her some homemade muffins wrapped in a handkerchief. DEMANDO: *in Lita voice* And remember not to talk with strangers. "Thank you," replied Zoisite. "I'll be back as soon as I get some water." PETZ: Do we seriously believe that? She tucked the small bundle in her pail and left the cottage. BLACK LADY: In a little red hood, prancing about and picking flowers….. ESMERAUDE: Don’t make me sick. Not too far from the cottage but well hidden there was a WISEMAN: Adult video store? beautiful pond with crystal clean water pouring into it from a waterfall. RUBEUS: But little did they know….it was sitting on the remains of an old dump filled with sewage in New Jersey! Here there lived four little swans - each with a unique distinguishing feature. COOAN: Like tattoos, pierced beaks and shaved heads…….. Catzi had a beautiful purple jewel on her forehead, COOAN: I’m a swan? Oh shit! WISEMAN: Fools! They shouldn’t have introduced them right away! Give it time! *starts foaming at the mouth* BLACK LADY: Calm down, Wiseman darling… Bertie had tear - shaped aquamarine crystals on her chest, Avery had golden feathers on her wingtips and Prisma had beautiful green tailfeathers. REST OF AYAKASHI SISTERS: Damn, we are all swans. The four lovely swans were in fact sisters enchanted by their eldest sister's wicked spell. PETZ: Hey, I am the oldest and proud of it! Jealous of their beauty, the witch Emerald had turned her sisters into swans. ESMERAUDE: WITCH!!!!!!!!! WHY YOU ^@@%^^&^&^(*&*%^@$&$#^$#%!@^#!%^#^%!^#%$@%%&#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They were guarded by the biggest most beautiful swan of all, a handsome white male with silver-blue eyes. WISEMAN: Probably sleeping with them, no doubt. SAFFIR: Wiseman, you hentai! *shoots tranquilizer gun and knocks Wiseman out* I’d hate to see him react to that Princess Zoisite’s hentai shit. BLACK LADY: NOOO!!!! WISEMAN!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!! *kisses him* EVERYONE WHO IS CONCIOUS: Ewww…… His name was Malachite and he had once been a prince whom Emerald had fallen in love with. ESMERAUDE: IT IS DEMANDO-SAMA I LOVE, NOT SOME STUPID DUB CHARACTER, YOU ^$!$#!!@^%$%I(&((^$&@^~~!%$%#!%$!!!!!!!!! SAFFIR: *shoots tranquilizer gun again and knocks Esmeraude out cold* Much better. BERUCHE: Thank you, Saffir, dear. I wouldn’t like it if she was our sister. When he refused to marry her, she was enraged and trapped him in swan form, DEMANDO: *in Malachite voice* Help! I’m a guy trapped in a swans body! Can anyone hear me? Help! just as she did with her sisters. But the jealous lady's spell had one flaw BLACK LADY: They changed gender as soon as cold water hit them? - it only worked by day - during the night her victims kept their human forms. COOAN: Ahh, at least I get to see my normal self in the mirror. Zoisite stumbled through the forest, searching for a new water source. CARABERAS: Try the drinking fountains! Her feet ached from walking in her old worn shoes. It seemed that everywhere she looked there were trees for miles and miles. RUBEUS: And cornfields, and cornfields, and cornfields…….. PETZ: Enough with the cornfields! RUBEUS: I grew up on a farm! She was quite deep into the forest and all was quiet except for the sounds of little wood creatures. SAFFIR: Translation for animals: author unfair. Suddenly she heard some rushing water and splashing in the distance. "Maybe there's water up ahead," she thought and hurried forward. RUBEUS: And it turned out to be someone watching nature shows with a loud TV. As she got closer she could hear the splashes more clearly, but there was no sign of water. CARABERAS: Its an illusion within Tomo’s shin! Oh Tomo…….. *TOMO pops out of nowhere* Yes, that’s right, she is inside my shin. Kakakakakakaka…. CARABERAS: *drools* "I can hear it," she said as she looked all around her, "but all I see is a thick wall of trees." RUBEUS: That, ladies and gentlemen, is the result of too many drugs. Zoisite pressed against them, feeling for an opening in all the branches, leaves and trunks. TOMO: *looks at Demando* My, who is that fine-looking young man? Reminds me of Nakago…… SAFFIR: Uh oh. TOMO: *to Demando* Hey, what’s your sign? She pushed a handful of branches out of the way and peering through she could see sparkling water and beautiful swans bathing in it. DEMANDO: *as swans, trying to ignore Tomo* *sings* Rubber duckie, you’re the one. You make bath time so much fun. The rush of water was caused by a waterfall from which emerged the biggest most beautiful swan she had ever seen. BLACK LADY: No punctuation. Geez, I want to see this girls report card. She gasped and leaned closer so she could see better. Suddenly the trees gave way and she tumbled forward, startling the swans. DEMANDO: *as swans* RUN! It’s the boogy man! TOMO: What a sexy voice…… CARABERAS: Oh, Tomo……… SAFFIR: I sense trouble in the future. RUBEUS: Same here. When she looked up they had disappeared. "Oh, no I scared them away," she said sadly. CARABERAS: Had I been the swans, what would have scared me away would be a guy dressed as Chuck E. Cheese. "But I found water." She smiled as she leaned down to drink from the crystal clear liquid and splash some on her face. RUBEUS: But the water was really sewage and she contracted a deadly virus, spread it to Lita and Mina and they all died! The end! PETZ: *sweatdrops* I think you read too many Marvel comics when you were a kid. RUBEUS: Yeah, Wolverine was my hero……… Zoisite filled her pail and opened the handkerchief with the muffins. BLACK LADY: Which she promptly chucked at the swans. It was for target practice. As she ate, the swans watched her from across the pond in some rushes. Slowly the big one swam towards her. BERUCHE: *In Zoycite voice* Come, come, my pretties…… Zoisite kept very still as he approached and broke a piece of muffin to give him. COOAN: Don’t do that! You’ll ruin his figure and give him less need to find food in the wild! "He has silver eyes," she thought as she admired him. "I never saw a swan with silver eyes before." BLACK LADY: Its all genetic engineering…. She held out the piece of muffin to him and after a moment he took it in his bill and ate it. COOAN: He was guessing about how much calories were in that muffin. She gave him more and he swam off with it to the other swans. SAFFIR: It must have had nuts, which he probably was allergic to…… PETZ: I bet he is warning us about the calories right now, how sweet….. "How beautiful he is," thought Zoisite, watching him swim away. BERUCHE: *in Zoycite voice* He would look nice on a dinner plate! The woods grew darker and Zoisite decided that rather than walk home again she would wait until morning. COOAN: She was afraid of running into people attending night school. She curled up well hidden and protected by the trees RUBEUS: That was not the best sentence in the world……… and fell asleep, hoping that her sisters wouldn't worry about her. DEMANDO: Are you stupid or what? Of COURSE they will worry about you! CARABERAS: Oooh! Oooh! Too bad she didn’t bring a video camera. Then it would be ‘The Blair Zoycite Project’! TOMO: Ohh, what a nice guy….. From her dark dwelling deep in the heart of the Black Emerald forest, BLACK LADY: It was the Enchanted Emerald forest earlier. Plot hole! RUBEUS: *tosses a soda can down plot hole* PLOT HOLE: Bbbuuuurrrpppp!!! the witch Emerald watched Zoisite and the swans in her green crystal mirror with growing irritation. WISEMAN: *just woke up* Sounds like the Evil Stepmother from Snow White. *sees Tomo* Hey, who is the babe? TOMO: Uh oh. "How dare that girl drink from my pond RUBEUS: *in Emerald voice* She ruined my plan to systematically poison the town with the pond! and feed my swans, especially my Malachite! COOAN: *in Emerald voice* Now he is all fat and ugly! I will have to get rid of her," thought the witch. BERUCHE: That is the BEST line out of the entire story! "She could be a threat to my spell." The beautiful wicked woman took her magic staff with her and set off to capture the young girl. SAFFIR: And plenty of bishonen. Bishonen: gotta catch ‘em all. WISEMAN: *to Tomo* Hey, want a drink, young lady? TOMO: Hey, I am a man and I am not interested in you! WISEMAN: Are you sure? *grabs Tomo’s chest* Certainly is flat….. TOMO: THAT DOES IT!!!! *traps Wiseman in shin* Now, he can live in his perverted fantasies forever! Kakakakakakaka…… WISEMAN: *within shin* Oh, you look so nice, young lady. Nice face makeup too….Wanna go upstairs? "Where is Zoisite?" asked Lita as she stared nervously out the cottage's kitchen window. "It's getting dark." CARABERAS: *in Lita voice* And this the time when the Shinma are out! "You don't think she's in trouble do you?" asked Mina, looking up at her auburn haired sister. DEMANDO: *in Lita voice* No, I think that she went to a late night movie theater. "I hope not." She frowned. "I want to go look for her. She should have come back by now.” RUBEUS: Well, she is a dumb blonde, so it figures. BERUCHE: I am offended! *beats Rubeus up* COOAN: Beruche! Stop! Don’t hurt my love! TOMO: By the way, what is your name? DEMANDO: Prince Demando of the Black Moon. TOMO: Demando…….What a nice name……. "No, Lita, don't!" said Mina. "But she could be hurt..." WISEMAN: Or at an all-night strip bar. TOMO: Damn, he got out! WISEMAN: Oh, its you again! Come here! TOMO: No! Get away from me! *runs away!* "It's too dark. You'll get lost and something could happen to you. Don't leave me alone! RUBEUS: *in Mina voice* I need you to read me a story tonight! We'll both look for her in the morning, 'kay?" pleaded Mina. BERUCHE: And get a cup of joe, too! "All right," said Lita with a sigh. "Come on let's get some rest." The two girls curled up under the quilts in their wooden beds and prayed silently for their sister. PETZ: And prayed that she would come back with a better laugh. Beneath the canopy of trees, Zoisite lay in a sound slumber. COOAN: Dreaming of being a dead alien man who loved a woman who didn’t love him and reincarnated to be a woman so he could know her in friendship. (this came from ‘Please Save My Earth’ and it was a MAN who was a WOMAN) Suddenly, a noise woke her up WISEMAN: The sound of bagpipes! and who was standing over her but the evil witch Emerald. SAFFIR: Wha? Another grammar error? Zoisite gasped at her striking but cruel beauty. *Miyu comes in out of nowhere!* MIYU: Shinma! Emerald! Return to the Dark! BLACK LADY: Hey, who are you? MIYU: I am the Guardian, Miyu. I send the Shinma back to the world of the Dark. This Shinma has interfered with the lives of humans and must be sealed! DEMANDO: Oh, you’re from Vampire Princess Miyu! Your studio is the next three doors down to the right! This is the Black Moon studio. MIYU: Really? Thank you! *leaves* ESMERAUDE: *in her sleep* Eternal beauty? Really? Sure, Miyu, take my blood. TOMO: *suddenly returns* Oh, Demando…… "Who are you?" cried Zoisite. RUBEUS: *in Emerald voice* The midnight janitor! "I am Emerald, keeper of this pond and the swans. You have trespassed and so you must be punished!" RUBEUS: *in Emerald voice* First, I will make you listen to Britany Spears until your ears bleed! With that the witch pointed her staff at Zoisite and cast a magic spell over her. TOMO: She gave her the ability to pull rabbits out of hats! DEMANDO: We can find the Rabbit that way! "When morning comes, you will be a swan - forever!" Emerald cackled and shrieked with malicious glee and vanished in streaks of green light. DEMANDO: Sounds WAY too cliché! ESMERAUDE: *wakes up* Is this MST over yet? *sees TOMO cuddling with DEMANDO* WHAT THE HELL YOU ARE DOING!!!!??? *attacks TOMO and they start cat-fighting in the corner* Thinking of her cruel fate, Zoisite began to sob beneath the trees. COOAN: And she used leaves to dry off her tears, which turned out to be poison ivy leaves! And, the rest is history. Her crying was heard by a young man who approached her quietly. PETZ: And then he inflated a paper bag and pricked it with a pin right next to her ear. "Why are you crying, pretty one?" he asked, kneeling down next to her. ESMERAUDE: *in Zoicite voice, still fighting* I am trapped in a terrible fic! Help! TOMO: Help! Demando-sama!!!!! CARABERAS: I am trying to save you! SAFFIR: *ties her down to seat* Pay attention. CARABERAS: Tomo, I’ll save you! "Because," sobbed Zoisite, "when morning comes, I will lose my WISEMAN: Virginity? DEMANDO: *Grabs WISEMAN* If you make one more perverted comment, you hentai, you will be permanently be banned from MSTing! Understand? WISEMAN: H….hai! human form and turn into a swan forever!" Zoisite continued to cry hysterically. WISEMAN: Damn….. The handsome man felt sorry for her because he himself knew what it was like to be changed against one's will. RUBEUS: What was he turned into? A bearded lady? For he was the big white swan Zoisite had seen in the pond. SAFFIR: And he didn’t balloon up! Yay! "At least you will still be pretty," he said, stroking Zoisite's hair. "Emerald could have turned you into a toad. ESMERAUDE: *comes back from fight* And I would make you into a French dish with your toad legs! She is quite nasty to pretty girls like yourself." WISEMAN: Rather, girl wannabes, like that guy over there! TOMO: *tied up and gagged* Whyfff youfff &^#&^&*!!!! "You know who that woman is?" asked Zoisite as she looked up into the man's face and noticed his beautiful silver eyes. PETZ: *in Zoycite voice* Wow, nice contact lenses. Where can I get a pair? "Just like that swan's," she thought. Could this handsome man be under wicked Emerald's spell? CARABERAS: We found out already ‘cuz this IDOIT author ruined it for us! The white-haired man sighed. "Unfortunately, yes, I know her. BERUCHE: *in Malachite voice* She was my rival in chemistry. I lost to her when I blew up the lab by accident. THAT is how she gained her powers and got back at me. I am also suffering from one of her enchantments. I am Prince Malachite, son of King Diamond and Queen Pluto. DEMANDO: Wow, that is not right. I cannot imagine myself with Pluto. I want Neo-Queen Serenity! ESMERAUDE: How dare you, Neo-Queen Serenity, for bewitching Demando’s heart! Emerald met me at a social gathering at my parent's castle a few months ago. BLACK LADY: *in Malachite voice* It was the annual fireball eating contest. When I refused her demand to marry her, RUBEUS: Wow, Esmeraude, you move quickly. ESMERAUDE: I do not act like that! My more evil dub side Emerald does that! she became enraged and made me a swan in her crystal pond." BERUCHE: *in Malachite voice* And she wants to fatten me up and kill me! Zoisite gasped. "You are the one - the swan I saw today?" she asked. COOAN: *in Malachite voice* Yes, I rented a swan suit! "But how is it that you are human before me now?" BERUCHE: *in Malachite voice* I took the swan suit off! Duh! "Her spell only works by day," replied Malachite. "When morning comes I too will lose my human form and return to being a swan." Zoisite began to cry again. CARABERAS: *in Zoycite voice* What a tragic story! "I don't know how to be a swan! SAFFIR: ‘I don’t know how to be a swan!’? That just doesn’t fit. I want to be a girl!" PETZ: No, you want to be the normal, kakkoii bishonen you used to be! "Don't worry, my sweet. I will take care of you," said Malachite, who was finding himself quite attracted to Zoisite. BLACK LADY: Already using pet names? He moves fast! They stayed together until the first rays of the sun began to creep through the trees and Zoisite felt her body changing. DEMANDO: She became a boy again! Yay! Next thing she knew, she was a little swan with a little heart locket in the pond and a big swan was beside her. ESMERAUDE: Sappy….. Lita and Mina got up as soon as daylight came and set out to find Zoisite. WISEMAN: *in Lita voice* Backpack? Bug spray? ‘How To Shit In The Woods’ handbook? BLACK LADY: *in Mina voice* Check. As they were walking through the forest they came upon two young men who also seemed to be searching for someone. SAFFIR: *sings* Search for your love….. BLACK LADY: Shut up. "Hey," called Mina. "Have you seen a girl with gold wavy hair and green eyes around here?" WISEMAN: And an annoying laugh? "Sorry, no," replied the older brother whose name was Neflite. "Is she your friend?” ESMERAUE: Uh oh, who is the younger brother? "She's our sister," said Lita. "We think she is lost. She went to get some water and never came back to us yesterday." RUBEUS: And then she fell asleep after biting the poisoned apple for 100 years, so her prince could grant three wishes…………….. "We are looking for our brother, Malachite," said the other one, named Jedite. "He too is missing." BLACK LADY: BROTHER!!!??? This girl picks the worst possible family relationships! "Oh, how terrible," said Mina. DEMANDO: That is right! "Why don't you two girls come with us. It is not safe for you to wander alone," said Neflite. SAFFIR: *in Neflite voice* These parts have wild, rabid chipmunks running around! The two sisters agreed and followed Neflite and Jedite. WISEMAN: And they all went to the bar! Back in the pond, Zoisite was slowly becoming familiar with her new form. ESMERAUDE: *in Zoycite voice* So, how do you put your head in your neck again? Malachite had introduced her to the four sisters and showed her how to swim. COOAN: Anou, perhaps more explaining on this would work. PETZ: Agreed. "Is there nothing we can do to escape this?" asked Zoisite. RUBEUS: Don’t worry! We’ll help you out of this fic! BERUCHE: They meant the swan forms, sadly. Not the fic. "Only one thing," said Bertie. "But it's impossible." SAFFIR: *wearing pink tutu and ballet shoes* Of course not my dear! Nothing is impossible when I, your fairy godmother, is around! BLACK LADY: What the!? DEMANDO: Look. *holds up an empty wine bottle* He drank this in one sitting. SAFFIR: *sings and starts prancing around* La, la la la la llllaaaaa!!!!!!!! *turns green and bends over* DEMANDO: Oh uh! Here, let me give you a hand! *escorts Saffir out* "What is it?" asked Zoisite. "Someone has to shatter Emerald's green crystal mirror," said Prisma. PETZ: BORING! "It's the source of Emerald's power," added Avery. BERUCHE: *in Avery voice* And the mirror was 25% off at Sears. "But we can't do it because we are swans during the day and at night we must stay by this pond or die," said Catsy. CARABERAS: Why? COOAN: The author is too dumb to answer that, sorry. "Oh," said Zoisite sadly. "But maybe my sisters will come looking for me." WISEMAN: They’d probably send the police instead. "If they do, Emerald will do the same to them that she did to us," said Prisma. "Better get used to being a swan, Zoisite." ESMERAUDE: *in Prisma voice* And, we will never see Zoycite again! HOHOHOHOHOHO!!!!!!!! EVERYONE ELSE IN THE ROOM: Stop, please! Lita, Mina, Neflite and Jedite were approaching the cluster of trees that hid the pond and the waterfall. "Listen! I hear water!" exclaimed Mina. RUBEUS: I can hear! Its miracle! "Maybe that's where Zoisite went," said Lita. They came closer but could see no pond. COOAN: Time to get glasses! They began to feel their way through the trees. CARABERAS: And they accidentally stuck their hands in a bee hive! "Look! A pond!" said Lita. "And what pretty swans," said Mina. *SAFFIR comes back, still plastered* SAFFIR: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Enchanted Zoo! Please do not feed the swans in the pond, thank you! It is very bad for them! And you all want to be good boys and girls, do you? They made it through the trees and ran to the water, startling the swans. "Get away, Zoisite!" warned Avery. DEMANDO: *comes back* You need a space to denote a separate topic. I learned it in English *flashes strait A report card* "It is okay," said Zoisite. "They are my sisters!" Zoisite swam to the two girls. RUBEUS: And then she promptly drowned because she didn’t graduate from Malachite’s swimming classes. "Oh, Lita look! What a pretty swan!" exclaimed Mina. SAFFIR: And please, girls, do not pet the swans or feed them! It is bad for their health if you pet them! Did I mention not to pet them? "Mina look at her chest. WISEMAN: Ecchi! And, no comma! BERUCHE: I agree with the comma part, but not the ecchi part. They didn’t mean what you think, you hentai. There is the necklace that our mama gave to Zoisite," said Lita. BERUCHE: See? What did I tell you? *smiles* "Oh, the swan, she has a necklace, too?" said Mina, not getting Lita's meaning. "No, silly maybe that swan is Zoisite!" RUBEUS: Or the swan stole the necklace! And there is a comma missing! "Zoisite!" cried Mina. "Is that you?" WISEMAN: And then the looney bin dragged her away, since you have to be insane to talk to animals like that. Zoisite did her best to make a loud swan noise. "Zoisite!" cried Mina and Lita together. PETZ: How can they tell if it is Zoycite if she makes swan noises? CARABERAS: ‘Cuz she sucks at swan noises, normally. "Perhaps the wicked Emerald had enchanted her," said Neflite. ESMERAUDE: I am still pissed about that. "Who is the wicked Emerald?" asked Lita. BERUCHE: She is the one who REALLY founded Microsoft! No sooner had she asked than the wicked green haired lady appeared before them, BLACK LADY: That’s ‘No sooner had she asked, THEN’. causing the swans to swim away in fear. DEMANDO: Run! Its Roseanne! "I am, my dear!" Emerald said, her eyes flashing. "Would you like to join your sister?" COOAN: *in Lita voice* Sure! How much does it cost? "Change Zoisite back!" shouted Lita and charged at Emerald. SAFFIR: *Sober* Hmm….the number one mistake for Makoto in fanfics: a big dumb clod. Emerald turned Lita into a swan. PETZ: And then she started pecking at her! "Lita! Oh, no!" cried Mina. DEMANDO: *in Mina voice* Who the hell is going to cook and pay taxes for me!? "Hahahahaha!" the witch laughed. EVERYONE (INCLUDING ESMERAUDE): STOP! PLEASE! "You're next!" She turned Mina into a swan. ESMERAUDE: She then promptly ran into a tree and died! "And you," Emerald said indicating the two brothers, "would you like to join Malachite?" WISEMAN: In lunch or for a drink? "What are you talking about?" demanded Jedite. "There is Malachite!" laughed Emerald, pointing to the big swan. SAFFIR: The swan species, Malachus Stupidus Ficus. "You witch!" yelled Jedite. "Set Malachite free!" BLACK LADY: Do you seriously think demands will work? Emerald just laughed and cast her spell on Jedite. BERUCHE: He then flew off to audition for ‘The Ugly Duckling’! Before she could do the same to Neflite, he thought of an idea. RUBEUS: Which was to panic and run! "Oh beautiful Emerald, spare me and let me live with you in your forest dwelling. I could think of no greater pleasure than to be by your side." WISEMAN: *in Austin Powers voice* And shagging rotten baby! Oh yeah! DEMANDO: Sayonara, hentai. I warned you.*kicks him out* EVERYONE (INCLUDING BLACK MOON FANS): YAY!!!!!! Emerald, being vain, was flattered and she decided not to change Neflite into a swan. ESMERAUDE: I would NEVER dream of being flattered by him! He has HORRIBLE taste in women and cannot dress…….. DEMANDO: Be quiet, please. ESMERAUDE: *blushes and bows* Hai, Demando-sama! "Come along," she said and whisked him away with her, to the surprise of the swans. EVERYONE: We are just as surprised by this and by the stupidity of this fic. Once inside Emerald's dwelling, Neflite was taken to her bedroom where Emerald commanded him to fan her and feed her chocolates. ESMERAUDE: That isn’t right. I can fan and feed myself, thank you. "How is it," asked Neflite, "that a lady as beautiful as yourself is so powerful?" RUBEUS: *in Emerald voice* I was bitten by a radioactive cockroach and became SUPER BITCH! Da ta da! ESMERAUDE: You’ll pay for that, Rubeus! *starts beating him up* Emerald eyed her green mirror and smiled slyly. "That is a secret." she said. CARABERAS: She was making sure that smile was sly enough. Neflite had seen her eye the mirror and suspected its power. PETZ: Everything is so obvious in this fic. When Emerald dismissed him he heard her speaking to it. COOAN: She’s lost it! Get the asylum! "Green mirror, show me my swans!" she commmanded. BERUCHE: Now it’s a TV with cable! Neflite waited for her to finish. SAFFIR: *in Neflite voice* According to my watch, its been an hour. What is she doing, having a conversation with the mirror? He decided to steal the mirror when she was asleep. RUBEUS: He figured he could make a profit on it on the black market! Her door was locked, so he had to climb up to the open window. PETZ: *in Neflite voice*Emerald, Emerald, let down your hair! He crept inside and lifted the heavy mirror. the mirror cried out "EMERALD!" DEMANDO: Oooo, its got batteries! waking the witch, who was furious. "Put that back! Don't drop it!" cried Emerald, leaping out of bed. CARABERAS: Well, DUH! Of course he’s gonna drop it! PETZ: She sounds more afraid than furious, if you ask me. Neflite threw it out the window and it shattered into hundreds of shards. BLACK LADY: I hope she has that covered in her insurance. Emerald leaped at neflite but he dodged her COOAN: ‘Neflite’ is supposed to be capitalized. The most basic grammar rule aside from putting spaces between words. and she fell out the window and lay unconscious on the ground, her power gone. BERUCHE: That’s all? BOOO!!!!!!!!!! SAFFIR: If you fell out a window, you would be really dead. You’ll know what I mean if you saw ‘Braveheart’. Anyone see it? EVERYONE: *raises hands* You made us see it in ‘The History of Great Britain In Film Festival’. Neflite hurried back to the pond DEMANDO: And promptly fell face-first into a puddle. and to his happiness he found his brothers, the four sisters, Mina, Lita and Zoisite all changed back to their human forms. EVERYONE: *sarcastly* Yay. They all went back to King Diamond's palace. RUBEUS: They just took the nearest subway! The king and queen were overjoyed to have Malachite back and they welcomed the four sisters as members of their court. AYAKASHI SISTERS: Yes! We get to have Versace clothing and tons of MAKEUP! ESMERAUDE: That is in the story. AYAKASHI SISTERS: Boo. Malachite grew so fond of Zoisite that he made her his princess DEMANDO: Let’s hope that was a year or two later. and let her and her sisters live in the palace. SAFFIR: They said that earlier. PETZ: That’s Mina and Lita, not us, the Ayakashi sisters. SAFFIR: Oh. Zoisite loved Malachite for the rest of her life and they kept little swans in the pond behind the castle. The End EVERYONE: God, that sucked! DEMANDO: No commas…….. SAFFIR: No original plot……… ESMERAUDE: No TASTE! WISEMAN: No hentai! DEMANDO: Where did you come from! WISEMAN: From one of the many plot holes, of course! And, we got a new assignment! EVERYONE: NANI!? WISEMAN: We get to MST ANOTHER Princess Zoisite fairytale! EVERYONE: NNOOOO!!!! DEMANDO: But what do we do with Chinese Opera-boy over there? *points to Tomo* *YUI sticks her head out of plot hole* Has anyone seen a guy who is dressed like a Chinese Opera dancer around here? He is my servant! ESMERAUDE: Oh yes, he is right here! *carries TOMO to YUI* YUI: Thank you. I need him to help me summon Seiryuu. *disappears into plot hole with TOMO* CARABERAS: *Cries* Sayonara, Tomo. I’ll never forget you………. RUBEUS: I need to fix my hair. *leaves into a bathroom and whips out a mirror and hair gel* That was most TASTELESS fic I ever read! Even though, Esmeraude as a witch was pretty appropriate. Hee hee hee. I’d HATE to see what happened to me in the duAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHBBBBBBBB.*gets sucked into his mirror* DUBBED RUBEUS: Welcome to behind your looking glass, Rubeus. Hee hee….. RUBEUS: Oh shit……….. Frank: (to gangsters) Wait there till Thursday! That's when they pick up the garbage!" -Police Squad! Episode 3 Any Jadeite's Little Helper Posts: 372 (8/10/01 2:35 pm) Reply Re: Princess Zoisite Re-MST! *downloading, gathering dictionaries* "I'll hug her and kiss her and call her George !" << Prev Topic | Next Topic >> Email This To a Friend Topic Commands Click to receive email notification of replies Click to stop receiving email notification of replies jump to: Admin AnnouncementsHey Moderators!Shout Outs & IntrosSecret SocietyModerator HeadquartersAural PleasureFilm & TelevisionRoll Over ShakespeareBoard Of TroublemakersHogwarts CentralIt's A Sick, Sad WorldWildly Weird, Wonderful WorldLife's A BitchAnd Now For A Little FunLook At Me, I'm A StarCome Hither...The Help CenterBasic BabbleWe Like To PlayVillain Survivor IVillain Survivor II - The Pucker-Up Forums - Look At Me, I'm A Star - Pucker-Up.net - Powered By ezboard® Ver. 7.246g Copyright ©1999-2003 ezboard, Inc.