This is one of those things that just needed a good MSTing. Sheesh. Silly OOC orgy, general nastiness, etc. Try and count how many times the word "cock" is used. The Sailormoon characters, such as they are, belong to Toei; the Dark City of Mecha characters belong to ME (it was only a matter of time before they ended up in the theater); and the fanfic belongs to The Hentai Man. -Sardonyx- cranky with Fanfiction.net's being slow about her upload. ========================================== tDCoM Theater: "WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS ch. 1" ========================================== It was dark, and the dark was full of noises. "What the-- !" "Who's sitting on my arm!?" "Raichimanotakaru!!" After a few minutes of scuffling the three seemed to have sorted themselves out, though the oppressive blackness remained. "So where are we and what's going on?" asked an annoyed-sounding male voice. "I don't know." replied another voice, more confused and more boyish, "We were just... uh... where were we, just?" "Raichimanotakaru," whispered the third voice, this one female, "I think something's-- " "_SURPRISE!_" There was a large flash of very bright light, and the trio were rendered momentarily blind. When Raichi could pry his eyes open again, he found himself sitting in front of a rather large television screen, from which two familiar faces leered. "YOU!" he shouted, leaping up in a heroic rage. "Hey, we killed you!" Gomezu yelled indignantly, "You died!" Kyouhansha stuck out his tongue. "And thought we would be gone with that easily, I guess," he smirked, "Jiushenza-sama, tell them about the..." "Villains coming back from the dead ad nauseum isn't an anime convention!" cried Raichimanotakaru indignantly, "It's Inspector Gadget! You can't do that!" "You'll get yours for disobeying the rules like that!" declared Maryoko, "Just you wait!" "Children, children," Lord Jiushenza smiled evilly, "Don't go jumping to conclusions now. See, this isn't a ressurection... it's an Alternate Universe." "ALTERNATE UNIVERSE!?" shrieked the captive trio, in synch. "That's right," the bishounen henchman said smugly, twirling a lock of his hair. "All the classy series have Alternate Universes. El-Hazard, Evangelion, Tenchi Muyo's got a veritable half-dozen. Even 'Saikyou he no Michi' was an Alternate Universe," Gomezu blinked. "'Saikyou he no Michi' was an Alternate Universe?" "Of course it was!" snapped Kyouhansha irritably. "The point is," Jiushenza broke in, "we've got one now, and there's nothing you can do about it. You are completely in our power!" he punctuated the statement with an evil laugh. Raichimanotakaru stood, his heroic face shining with determination. "Alright, Jiushenza," he declared boldly, "Kill us if you wish! But you can never kill the immortal spirit of _Justice_ and _Peace_!" Maryoko's eyes began to wobble. Gomezu shook his head. "You misunderstand." the head villain's wicked smile was nearly splitting his face in two, "We're not going to kill you... oh, no... but before long you'll wish we had!" Gomezu ran a nervous hand through his short blonde hair. "What exactly _are_ you planning to do?" The bishounen love-slave henchman smiled winningly. "We're going to make you read bad fanfics," "WHAT!?!?" With that, Kyouhansha waved them an impudent goodbye and the evil duo blinked out. "Aw, shit," the sidekick grumbled, just as the screen flickered to life once more. * * * >******************************************************************** >******* >WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS Raichi: Create an alternate universe, apparently. >...by the Hentai Man Maryoko: It's a bird! Gomezu: It's a plane! Raichi: No, it's... HENTAI MAN! Defender of wretched perversions! [trumpets] >Endymion took another sip of his drink Raichi: Lemonade! Lemonade! >and sighed. He cast his eyes around the bar. Gomezu: They bounced off the far wall then came back and hit him on the forehead. Splat! > Not much chance of any action tonight, he thought. On one side of >him, Nephrite sat and drank, Maryoko: ...toilet bowl cleaner. > on the other side Kunzite and Zoisite sat, snuggled against each >other. Raichi: It must be hard to balance on a barstool like that. >Endymion heard a slap, then Jadeite Gomezu: ...started to whine. "I'm trying, Nephrite, really... don't hit me!" [ the other two stare at him ] Gomezu: Just getting in the spirit of things. > returned to his seat beside Nephrite. "Looks like no-one wants to >fuck a Royal Guardian," Jadeite said, taking a swig. Maryoko: You're so charming, I wonder why. >Endymion snorted. "You'd think it'd be easier being a prince,but Raichi: [Endymion] ...I still haven't figured out how to insert tab A into slot B. >none of the bitches here care to spread their legs." Gomezu: [Endymion] Heck, I gave up on the _human_ women long ago! > "Have you tried to get it on with that blond piece of fluff >from the Moon Kingdom?" Nephrite asked. Gomezu: [Nephrite] _I've_ had a lot of luck with her.... > "I have to act 'respectable' to her," Maryoko: [Endymion] You know, eat with silverware and wash my face and stuff. > Endymion said sourly."Bloody arranged marriages. She's probably a >cold fish in bed. Raichi: You'd know just what that's like. > Can't even walk without falling over." Maryoko: Wouldn't it be easier to get her into bed then? Raichi: You'd think so. > Nephrite put a comraderly hand on Endymion's shoulder. [all groan in despair] > "Let's get back home. Maryoko: [Nephrite] Know what I mean, wink wink, nudge nudge? > Looks like the only ones getting any tonight are Kunzite and Zoisite. >Again." Raichi: [Endymion] Did you set the video camera? Gomezu: [Nephrite] Same as always. >They left the bar, and stumbled their way to Endymion's quarters. >Inside, Nephrite, Jadeite and Endymion got fresh drinks, Maryoko: Hot, drink-pouring _action_! >and sat side by side on the couch. Kunzite sank into an arm chair, >pulling Zoisite onto his lap. They started trading deep kisses. Raichi: [Zoisite] I'll give you my Rei and Asuka for a Miki and Yuu. Gomezu: [Kunzite] Got any Ronin Warriors yaoi? > Nephrite rolled his eyes Maryoko: ...off the couch and down onto the floor. They rolled out the door and far, far away.... Gomezu: Don't miss... "The Crawling Eye II: Escape from the Lemon"! >. "Look at them. Can't keep their hands off each other. If we were >attacked, some guardians they'd be." Raichi: We could discuss ancient Greek history... but maybe this isn't the time. > Jadeite was watching the pair at work, and surreptisciously >tried to adjust his trousers Gomezu: [Jadeite] My diaper needs changing. >to ease a growing erection. All: .......... > Endymion sat between the two, and smirked at Jadeite. >"Thinking of joining them?" Maryoko: [Jadeite] You're so cute when you're jealous. >"Just bloody horny," Jadeite admitted. "Getting a bad case of blue >balls." Raichi: Oh, Jadeite seems like he'd be a great help if they were suddenly attacked. > "At least that's one thing I never have to worry about," came >Kunzite's voice, and the three looked over, their eyes nearly popping >out. Maryoko: That seems to be happening a lot. Raichi: I know how they feel. >Zoisite now knelt between Kunzite's legs, his head in Kunzite's lap, >moving up and down on Kunzite's freed erection. Gomezu: You'd think they'd at least charge admissions or _something_. > Nephrite picked up a cushion and threw it at the pair. "Thanks >for an image I really didn't want," he said. Raichi: [looks ill] Yeah, us too. Gomezu: What would you like to bet he really did want it after all? > Kunzite caught the cushion, and threw it back. "You're just > jealous," he said. Maryoko: _Everybody_ wants to be a creepy exhibitionist. > Nephrite growled but didn't deny it. > Jadeite's eyes were transfixed on Zoisite's head, watching >the long hard peice of manmeat slide in and out of his mouth. Gomezu: [makes a slide whistle noise] Raichi: That was inappropriate. > His own mouth was dry, and one hand rubbed unconsciously over his >crotch, Maryoko: [Jadeite] I have to go potty. >his prick filling out as blood engorged it. Gomezu: ...Never mind. Never mind. > Nephrite turned to Endymion, and saw the prince wrapped up in >watching Kunzite and Zoisite. Raichi: [Endymion] Oh, I get it now... [mimes taking notes] > With a wicked grin, Nephrite reached over and unzipped Endymion's >pants, and pulled his cock out, and slowly started jacking it. Maryoko: [Nephrite] I hope I'm not being obscure. > Endymion groaned in lust, then realised what was going on. He >slapped Nephrite's hand. Gomezu: [Nephrite] Oooh, I'm so sorry, bad Nephrite, bad! You must tie me to the bed and spank me. > "Stop that," he said. But he didn't remove Nephrite's hand from his >cock. >"Seems to me your balls might be just as blue," Nephrite said. "No one >to look after your needs." Raichi: Yeah, only half the cast of the show is frantically chasing him. > "Fine then," moaned out Endymion. "As Royal Guardian, you're >supposed to take care of me. Maryoko: No wonder there's only four Royal Guardians, if this' in the job description. > And I got something that needs to be taken care of. We haven't got >any women, so you'll have to do." Gomezu: How terribly flattering. > Nephrite licked his lips. "As you command, my prince." >Nephrite moved off the couch, put down his drink, sat on the floor, Maryoko: ...untied his shoes, walked over to the window, closed the shade, walked back, picked up the remote, turned on the TV, sat on the floor again.... > then leaned over to lick the head of Endymion's cock. Raichi: Oh, so this was all leading up to _sex_?... > Endymion closed his eyes as the tongue washed over his >cockhead. His head fell backwards and a moan escaped. A hand, >Nephrite's, reached in and removed his balls from his pants. Raichi: [Nephrite] They detach? Gomezu: [Endymion, choked] They do now. > Nephrite rolled the balls gently in his hands, and Endymion's eyes >fluttered in passion. Maryoko: [Endymion] Well maybe Jadeite's eyes can _bounce_, and Nephrite's can _roll_, but mine can FLY! >When Nephrite took the head of Endymion's cock into his mouth to suck >on it softly, Endymion put a hand on Nephrite's head to keep the >sensation from stopping. Not that Nephrite had any plans on stopping. >The taste of Endymion's cock was quite pleasent. Gomezu: [Endymion] I should probably tell you I haven't showered in a while. >The head was soft, yet firm, Raichi: Well _that_ makes sense. >and Nephrite washed it with his tongue, before slowly moving his head >down to take the cock deeper into his mouth. Nephrite felt a presence >on his groin, Raichi: [Nephrite] Oh, wow. I've got one of _those_? >and hands undid and opened his trousers. Maryoko: [Nephrite] Thank you, Thing. >The hands took out his hard dick, Gomezu: Ladies and gentlemen, we have a synonym! >and played with it for a moment, rubbing it up and down, and jacking >it. A short time later, they stopped, Maryoko: [blandly] The End. >and Nephrite moaned a little in disappointment around Endymion's prick. >>However, when a warm wetness engulfed his prick, Nephrite bucked his >hips automatically to drive his cock into a willing home. Raichi: [Nephrite] Well, it's not ideal, but the rent's cheap. >Twisting his head on Endymion's pole, Gomezu: Don't you mean LOVE pole? >Nephrite looked down to see Jadeite's head bobbing up and down, >meeting his thrusts. Maryoko: Jadeite's torso was propped against the wall opposite. His arms and legs were stored in the fridge for later. >Having his prick sucked, and sucking a prick himself was heavenly. Gomezu: Yessir, it doesn't take much to make Nephrite happy. Raichi: I'll say. > Kunzite looked the threesome over, and smiled to himself. Raichi: [Kunzite] I like lettuce. >The pleasures of other men was something he delighted in, and maybe, >just maybe, there would be three more men he could sample. Maryoko: Now now, that's _beyond_ "Compromise." > He reached down and removed Zoisite's lips from around his >cock, bringing the sandy haired man up to trade another kiss. Both >standing up, Zoisite stood still while Kunzite slowly undressed him, Raichi: Great, now it's becoming "Sailor Moon Fantasy." > licking and sucking on his nipples as they became visible. Gomezu: [Hungarian] My nipples explode with delight! >Kunzite threw the top behind him while he sucked on Zoisite's chest, >and slipped his hands down the back of Zoisite's pants to squeeze >and play with Zoisite's firm ass. Zoisite moaned as his lover played >with him, Maryoko: [Zoisite, moany] Ooh, Kunzite... make me your tetherball! >and gently stroked Kunzite's white hair. He put his hands on Kunzite's >top, and pulled it up, forcing Kunzite to >seperate from him so it >could be removed. > Now apart and half naked, they wasted no time and removed the >rest of their own clothes, Raichi: [sighs with relief] At least, it's not "Sailor Moon Fantasy." >hard cocks waggling in the air while they did so. Once naked, they >embraced and kissed, hard cocks pressing hard against each other. Raichi: Oh, for the love of... get a thesaurus! > Jadeite gave Nephrite's cock a last suck, then attended to >the task of removing Nephrite's boots and pants, not an entirely >easy task Gomezu: [Jadeite] Duhh... explain buttons to me again? >while the other man was only half attentive. Maryoko: [Nephrite] Wow, "Pokemon" is on. > Still Nephrite did what he could to help, and soon was naked from the >waist down. Raichi: Yes, that IS what usually happens when you take off your pants. >Instead of returning to Nephrite's prick, Jadeite moved around and >positioned himself on the other side of Nephrite. He placed his hands >on Nephrite's ass checks, and spread them side. Jadeite stucked out >his tongue, and licked up Nephrite's ass crack, making the guardian >writhe in pleasure. All: ................... Gomezu: And so Jadeite begins his illustrious brownnosing career. >Spending a few moments rimming Nephrite, Jadeite's tongue played >around his hole before darting inside. Endymion looked down at >Nephrite head in his lap, and his cock sliding in and out of >Nephrite's lips. Gomezu: [Endymion] Whoa... what's going on here? >Why hadn't they done this before? Maryoko: Because, um, it's really icky. >It was the perfect way Raichi: ...to stage a ludicrous orgy fic. >of easing their needs. He looked past Nephrite to see Jadeite emerging >from Nephrite's ass. Gomezu: I must say, that explains a lot. > "He's ready if you wish to take him, my prince," Jadeite said. >>Nephrite heard this, and gave Endymion an extra hard suck, then >removed his head. "Yes, my prince. Take me Gomezu: [Nephrite, breathy] ...out to dinner and a movie! Oooh! >." They all stood, and Endymion and Jadeite helped Nephrite >remove his top, Maryoko: [Jadeite] Well you undo this button and then push it sort of sideways.... Raichi: [Nephrite] No, just slide it down over his feet. Maryoko: [Jadeite] Why don't these things come with manuals? > before Nephrite and Jadeite stripped Endymion. Nephrite turned and >bent, putting his arms on the back of the couch, presenting his ass >to Endymion. Gomezu: Nephrite never wanted to be a villain... he wanted to be Sailor _Moon_!! Get it!? Raichi: [groan] > "Now," he moaned. Maryoko: [Endymion] Sorry, I'm kind of busy. I could try and fit you in next week.... > Jadeite took Endymion's prick in hand, and guided it to >Nephrite's nether hole. He helped steady the prince as he aimed the >cock directly at the hole. Gomezu: [Endymion] Ohhh, I get it. ... What now? >Endymion pushed, and the cock head slowly dipped inside. Both Nephrite >and Endymion moaned aloud at tiny shocks ran through their bodies from Raichi: Make your own electric eel joke. > pleasure. >"Yessss," Maryoko: Can I disagree? > Nephrite hissed, Gomezu: [Endymion] Stop hissssing in my ear! > as Endymion pushed again, still slowly, and his cock eased its way >inside. > Jadeite sucked on a finger, Raichi: [Jadeite] I've got a dirty thumb. Maryoko: Okay, no more of that, guys. > and reached down to play with Endymion's ass a little, before >slipping the finger into Endymion's hole. Endymion involunteerily Maryoko: Involunteeeeeerily! >jerked forwards, and his cock slammed therest of the way into >Nephrite, pushing the guardian forwards until his head rested on >his arms. All: ........................... > "Oh, yes," Endymion wispered. "That feels so good. You're ass >is so tight, Nephrite." Gomezu: Thanks for telling us that, Endymion, or we never would've known. > "Fuck me," said Nephrite. "Fuck me hard. Make me yours." Raichi: [Endymion] Only because you've asked so prettily. > Endymion eased in and out slowly, but soon built up a pace >until he was sliding in and out of Nephrite's ass with ease. Gomezu: [dryly] Oh, what a fast learner he is. > Jadeite removed his own clothes, Maryoko: Oooh... Jadeite's a big boy now! > and looked over to see how Kunzite and Zoisite were doing. Kunzite >was behind Zoisite, his dick up to the hilt in Zoisite's backside. Gomezu: [bland] Why look, honey, there's more sex over _there._ >Kunzite was nibbling on Zoisite's neck, Raichi: [Zoisite] Do you have to do the Bela Lugosi thing _every night_? >but they were both looking at Jadeite, Zoisite grinning in happiness >as Kunzite bucked in and out of him. Jadeite wet his hand, Maryoko: Apparently potty training is not essential for the Royal Guard. >and dropped it to play with his own prick, wetting it for the use he >had in mind. Grinning back at Kunzite and Zoisite, he moved in behind >>Endymion, and as Endymion pushed into Nephrite's ass, he positioned >his dick just outside Endymion's asshole. Endymion groaned as he slid >into Nephrite, but as he pulled out another sensation was felt. >Something was sliding into his ass. Gomezu: Wow, something sliding into someone's ass. This is new. >Looking over his shoulder, he met the lustful gaze of Jadeite, and >pushed back harder, driving Jadeite's prick deep into him. Jadeite's >eyes closed for a moment as pleasure ran through him, but he opened >them again and leaned into kiss Endymion on the mouth. Maryoko: Jadeite, Jadeite, only losers kiss with their eyes open. Raichi: [Jadeite] Sorry, couldn't find your mouth otherwise, sire. >Their tongues battled for a moment, Raichi: [Endymion] Ahhg, we're thtuck! >but Nephrite reaching back under himself to stroke their balls made >them realise that they had stopped pumping while they kissed. Gomezu: Obviously it'd be a little much to expect these guys to do more than one thing at the same time. >Endymion started moving again, plunging into Nephrite, then backing >onto Jadeite. Jadeite had his hands on Endymion's hips to steady him, >so was surprised by a pair of hands being placed on his own hips. Maryoko: [Endymion] Why! Whatever could that mean! >Even as he turned his head to look behind, a prick was burrowing its >way into his ass. His eyes met Zoisite, who winked at him, and blew >him a kiss. Beyond Zoisite was Kunzite, still buried in Zoisite's ass. Gomezu: [Kunzite] Help, I'm lost. Raichi: And to think he wanted to be buried at sea. > So now they were a chain of humping flesh. Kunzite fucking Zoisite >fucking Jadeite fucking Endymion fucking Nephrite. Maryoko: There's the recap, for those of you who missed the last three pages. >They started moving, and groaning, as one, Nephrite feeling the full >force of four other men plowing into his ass. Raichi: [Nephrite] Hey, um, this kind of hurts...... guys? >Endymion leant over Nephrite, and reached under to start jerking >on Nephrite's prick, giving him some pleasure while others took it. >The five man chain grunted and sweated, and slowly began speeding >up as desires built, and cum started to rise in their balls. Maryoko: Oh the tension. The drama. The eroticism. >Undeniable urges made them thrust harder, until their balls bounced >off the man in front of them as four dicks slammed hard into four >assholes. Gomezu: Apparently they all had their testicles replaced with superballs. Raichi: The Silver Millennium had a twisted culture. >The sound of breathing was laboured as pleasure rose in their minds Gomezu: Sheeyah, right. >and bodies. Cries of animal passion escaped their lips as hips >jerked back and forth. The pleasure rose in them, until- Kunzite >thrust hard into Zoisite, who Maryoko: ...filed for divorce. >thrust hard in Jadeite, who Gomezu: ...was secretly having an affair with Metallia's sister. >thrust hard into Endymion, who Raichi: ...died in Vietnam. >thrust hard into Nephrite, while holding tightly onto Nephrite's prick. >Semen spurted from Kunzite, setting off a reaction that seemsd to fire >a burst straight from Kunzite, threw Zoisite, Maryoko: Would the word for that be "projectilephilia"? >Jadeite and Endymion, and out through Nephrite, who's cock spat cum >out like a geyser onto the couch. Gomezu: However, we wouldn't call Nephrite "Old Faithful"... if you know what I mean. Raichi: Few people know the game of dominoes originated in the Silver Millennium... and was, at the time, quite naughty. >Four men's channels became filled with cum, Maryoko: Silver Millennium cable, on the other hand, was just lousy. >some already leaking out to run down legs, and the couch gained several >long strings of cum. The five froze, still spruting for a moment, but >even still when the cum ran out, orgasms still in possession of their >minds. Gomezu: [official] The problems of the Royal Guardians seem to originate from a small particle of brain in the skull. Once it's removed, they'll all be just fine. >It seemed like they were joined like this for hours, Raichi: You're telling _us._ >until, as one, they shivered and began to come down from their >ecstatic high. Maryoko: It seems like they'd make a lovely synchronized swiming team. >Kunzite, Zoisite, Jadeite and Endymion pulled out of their respective >>partners, and Nephrite was the first to slump ont the couch, the >others following, but falling onto the floor. Raichi: Allow me to demonstrate. [collapses, choking] Maryoko: [concerned] Raichimanotakaru? > No one was able to speak for a moment, Gomezu: Oh damn. The dialogue's been the best part of the story. > all dazed and covered in cum to various degrees. Finally, Kunzite >said "And that's why men are so good." Raichi: [from the floor] I missed it. Why? > Endymion grinned. "And now, when all else fails, we know we >have each other to relieve ourselves." Gomezu: Need a toilet? Try a Royal Guardian instead! > "Only when all else fails," Jadeite grinned back, before >leaning over to pull Zoisite into a deep kiss, Raichi: [sobs] Oh please no. Maryoko: It's okay, Raichimanotakaru, it's almost over... pull yourself together! Gomezu: Here, let me give you a hand. Let's see if we can find someplace where he can lie down. C'mon, Raichi, it's done now. > starting them all off again. [Gomezu and Maryoko lift the weeping hero on their shoulders and drag him out of the theatre. The screen goes black] * * * From the observation room, Jiushenza smirked evilly. "Little do they know," Kyouhansha giggled. ___________ "This's Nothing" (my fanfiction page): http://sardonyx.virtualave.net/ "The Dark City of Mecha" (the epic clash between the forces of Good and Evil!): http://sardonyx.virtualave.net/HAPT/ >^_____^ I love DCoM! I'm glad to see the characters again. They work well >in a MST. Thanks! Since they've really taken over my mind and all... >_<;;; >That was really funny. Bonus points for referencing 'Compromise' AND for >referencing, of all things, Disney's animated 'Robin Hood'. Apparently you >don't have to worry about a Fourth Wall. ^_^ Fourth Wall? What's that? :P... I apologise for the "Robin Hood," it was really not right, but dammit that movie IS MY LIFE. I can't help it. *sob* Further melodrama nonwithstanding (it's 11 PM and I'm having a weird day), part two: More silly OOC orgy, stupidity, merciless repetition of words, character thrown to all hell, stupidest Kunzite this side of DiC, etc. And I'd just love to know the stats on this one, Travellyr-darling. Hentai Man blah blah C/C blah Toei blah blah blah Naoko blah MINE MINE MINE. -Sardonyx- who thinks life would be a lot less fun without magnetic poetry. ========================================== tDCoM Theater: "WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS ch. 2" ========================================== Raichi leaned over the back of Gomezu's chair as they all stared helplessly at the complicated technical equipment. There was a moment of silence. "So you can't even figure where we are?" the hero finally asked. His sidekick shook his head regretfully. "We haven't got a technical wizard. Some kind of plot oversight I'm sure. We maybe could've tried to find one, but it's too late now," "So we're stuck...?" there were tears wobbling in Maryoko's cerulean eyes. Raichimanotakaru put his arm around her. "There's a way out," he said confidently, "It'll just be a little harder finding it since we don't know where we are," Gomezu regarded the pair of them, then sighed. "At any rate, we'll be here for a while. Maryoko sniffled. The two boys looked despondent. A small monitor on the wall blinked to life. "Now now, giving up already? You're no fun," Kyouhansha smirked at them, before moving over to give the Dark Lord a chance. "Just in case you have any spirit left, today you're going to be seeing the second part of the epic 'When All Else Fails,'" Jiushenza paused to smile evilly at their stricken expressions, "Don't look like that yet. There's still one more part to go... and after that... who knows!" he roared with hysterically wicked laughter, and his henchman popped up in the corner of the screen to giggle. As they trudged wearily to the theater, Gomezu threw a comradely arm about his friend. "Oh cheer up, Raichi. There's a way out. We'll find it. Never give up!" Raichimanotakaru's face began to glow, and he straightened his shoulders heroically. Maryoko beamed. The sidekick rolled his eyes, but he seemed to be smiling. * * * Maryoko: [taps her heels hopefully] There's no place like home...? > WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS... Raichi: ...write about it. >Part 2 by the Hentai Man >Zoisite rubbed the shampoo into his hair, going slowly to appreiate the >feel of soft hair in his hands, and also the fel the water beating down >onto his bare skin. Gomezu: No, really; doesn't everybody shower with their clothes on?! > He swayed slightly from side to side, and his penis waved half-hard, >>standing out from his body. Raichi: Dirty Hula Dancing. > He kept his eyes closed, jusr relying on his sense of touch to >convey the sensations. Maryoko: [Zoisite] Well this is the water, it's wet... OW! that was the showerhead, it OW! that's the wall, it's very solid OW! I think that was the faucet OW! that was the soap.... > A slight increase in water sounds told him that Gomezu: ...Kunzite missed the toilet again. >someone else was in the shower, and Zoisite's thoughts, already heading >that way, ran with the possibilities of what could happen. Raichi: [Zoisite] Let's see... it could be a girl who will slap me for having accidentally seen her breasts, and since I'm gay, comical mayhem will ensue. > He refrained from seeing who it was, just letting his imagination >run away with him. Maryoko: [Zoisite, moany] Oh, Norman, take me away! >Nephrite knocked on the door to Endymion's quarters, then opened it, >saying, Raichi: [Nephrite] Could I please borrow a cup of sex? > "You sent for me, my p..." His voice faded away as he looked to see Gomezu: [Nephrite] Racer X, NO!! >Endymion lying naked on his bed. Raichi: [Endymion] I hope I'm not being obscure. > Nephrite gazed swept down to Endymion's prick, which hardened even as >he watched. Gomezu: Guarenteed to break the ice at parties. > Endymion's head rested on his hands, and lay propped up on >pillows. He smiled at Nephrite. "My needs need looking after again, >and I remember you last...servicing." Endymion bucked his hips >slightly, suggestively. Maryoko: [Nephrite] Could you perhaps be a little more direct, Sire? > Nephrite licked his lips. "As my prince commands." Gomezu: [with breathy jazz in the background] Tonight I'd like to restate our position on agricultural subsidies, and their effect on our Commonwealth relationships.... > He lay on the end of the bed, positioned between Endymion's >legs. His eyes devoured Endymion's erect cock, Raichi: There's some pretty talented eyes in this lemon. Gomezu: [Endymion] AAAAUUUGHH! > and put out a gloved hand to Maryoko: [Nephrite] Scalpel. > stroke Endymion's Raichi: ...wife. >up and down gently. Endymion rolled his hips under Nephrite's >attentions, and thrust up and down in short pulses. > Nephrite bent close to the prick, and breathed heavily on it. Gomezu: [Nephrite] Aaccchhhkkk... [hack] [couch] [snrkkk] >He then took a deep sniff, smelling Endymion's musky scent. Raichi: [Nephrite] Mmm, crayon wax and diesel. > A tiny pearl of liquid emerged from the tip of the prick, Maryoko: Endymion's some kind of oyster? Gomezu: He always seemed a little _shellfish_. Raichi: Okay, guys, stop. > and Nephrite put his tongue out and gently touched it, the salty taste >>immediately sensable. As he drew away, the thin lime of precum joined >his lip to Endymion's prick, Gomezu: E.T. phone home. >stretching out before finally breaking. Raichi: Sound effects by Warner Brothers. > Endymion moaned as his eyes took all this in. "Take me Maryoko: [Endymion, breathy voice] ...to DISNEYLAND! >, Nephrite," he said huskily. "Suck me deep." Raichi: [Nephrite] Stop being so bossy you stupid git. > "Not yet," said Nephrite, Gomezu: [Nephrite, coy] We'll have to be married. > still masturbating his prince. He bent down and ran his tongue over >>Endymion's balls. Endymion groaned as Nephrite sucked a ball into his >mouth. > "Oh gods," moaned Endymion. "You're good." Raichi: [Endymion] Not that I have much to compare you to, but never mind. >Zoisite rinsed his hair out, still not looking over to see who had >joined >him. Gomezu: [Zoisite] Random people showering with me? Sure thing! > He heard the other shower being turned off, then a moment later he >sensed a presence behind him. Maryoko: _Other_ shower!? Raichi: Didn't he sense the presence _ages_ ago!? > He smiled as hands touched his skin and romaned Gomezu: Et tu, Zoisaitus? > over his back.They moved up and caressed his shoulders, then moved >down, rubbing over his back, and rested for a moment on his hips. Maryoko: [Zoisite] This is sexual harrassment, and I'm GOING to take it! > Then just one hand moved down to cup and squeeze a butt cheek. Gomezu: Somebody forgot and left their butt in the shower again. Maryoko: Not a good idea around here. >It moved further, and Zoisite bit his kip as a finger pushed against > his butt hole. Wet from the water still cascading down onto him, the >finger slipped inside, and began to slowly pump in and out. Raichi: [Zoisite] Random people violating me? Sure thing! > The other hand moved up and around to his front, and attached >itself to one of Zoisite's nipples, Gomezu: The elusive Nipple Leech is native to southern Russia and parts of Brazil. After humans started wearing shirts and speaking in complete sentences, it took to lurking in showers belonging to candy-assed princes. >pulling, twisting and teasing it. Zoisite moaned at the double >sensation, and put his arms on the wall in front of him so he could >push his butt out further, and onto the finger in his ass. Raichi: My willing suspension of disbelief just committed suicide. > The finger was removed, and Zoisite waited expectantly..and >there it was. A long hard length pushed its way into Zoisite's butt. Maryoko: [Zoisite, vapid] Ooh, there, my life has meaning again. >Zoisite let loose a long low groan, continuing it for as long as the >cock entered him, until it was buried to the hilt inside him. > Zoisite knew the feel of Kunzite's prick inside him well, Raichi: [Zoisite] Hmm, this feels like a vintage 409 Southern blonde, about 5'10 and.... Gomezu: [British] No, it's a wee-wee, sir. Maryoko: We're pushing the boundaries of obscurity. >so knew this wasn't Kunzite. Gomezu: Off to your left, there goes our last bit of credibility, folks. > Finally wanting to know who it was, Raichi: Really, why bother at this point? >Zoisite turned his head around, and stared into Jadeite's eyes. Maryoko: Actually he'd more be staring into Jadeite's chin, wouldn't he? > "Hello, Zoisite," greeted Jadeite. Raichi: That's more or less just a formality now. > "You could have asked first," said Zoisite, Gomezu: Yeah, you really seemed to mind and stuff. > his eyes fluttering as Jadeite slowly drew his cock out and then >slowly pumped it in again. > "Would you have said 'no'?" Maryoko: [Zoisite] Let's see. You snuck up and took me from behind without warning, in fact without so much as a greeting. Nope, it's fine. > "Not as long as you fuck me hard and deep," Zoisite groaned. Raichi: Oh, the heartwrenching drama. Gomezu: This is powerful because of how the author makes us _care_ about the characters. > "Just what I was thinking," Jadeite grinned. Placing his hands >on Zoisite's hip Raichi: No wonder these people need acrobatic eyes, this guy only has one hip! >to help balance himself, Jadeite sped up his strokes into hard and >deep thrusting. Just what they both wanted. Maryoko: I wonder how many tries it took Jadeite to find somebody who liked being raped in the shower? > Kunzite took a deep breath, Gomezu: Man I _hope_ this isn't going to be "Sailor Moon: Fantasy." > then knocked on the door. Maryoko: [Kunzite] Knock knock. Raichi: [Endymion] Who's there? Maryoko: [Kunzite] Uhhhh.... let me check. > There was no responce, so he put his ear to the door. Gomezu: This fic brought to you by the Society of Detatchable Sensory Aparatus. > He could hear sounds within and frowned. Raichi: [Kunzite] Could it be... that someone is in the room? > Some kind of heavy panting. A thought crossed his mind, Maryoko: ...and then flittered on its merry way.... > but he dismissed. Most likely, Endymion was training, or something. Gomezu: I can't decide whether to make a joke about Dragonball or about Zoisite. > Opening the door, Kunzite Raichi: ...hit himself in the face with it and was knocked out. Maryoko: [Kunzite] Not _again._ > looked in to see that his initial thought had been pretty close. His >gaze swiftly took in Endymion naked on the bed, and Nephrite in between >his legs, still clothed, Raichi: ...reading to him from _The Merchant of Venice_. Maryoko: [Endymion, moany] The qualities of mercy, ooh, are not mmmm strained... yeah, baby! >and sucking deeply on his hard cock. Gomezu: [Kunzite] Hmm... analyze the situation... let's see now... > Endymion looked over to see Kunzite, but was too relaxed to be >>shocked. Raichi: If Zoisite can be jumped by a stranger without blinking, why not. > "What is it, Kunzite?" Maryoko: [Kunzite] Your fiance's here to see you... shall I send her in? > "Er...." Kunzite found it hard to think, the sight before him >turning him on. Gomezu: These guys are worse than the cast of "Student Bodies." >"Well, actually it is related to this, as it happens." Raichi: What a shock. > Endymion raised an eyebrow. "Indeed? Sounds...fun," he grinned. >"What is it?" > "Well, I was thinking of that night," said Kunzite slowly. Maryoko: [Endymion] The night we went to Beryl's birthday party and played Scrabble? Raichi: [Kunzite] No, the... Maryoko: [Endymion] The night Mars attacked us because of trade squabbles? Raichi: [Kunzite] No, no, I meant... Maryoko: [Endymion] The night you were drunk and flirted with a hat rack? Raichi: [Kunzite] Look, never mind. >His hand drifted down to his crotch, and started rubbing his stiffening >>member. "And...well...my prince, I'd like you to take me. Make me yours," Gomezu: Well that's an original line. Raichi: Why? Isn't Kunzite the one who was getting plenty of sex already? > he managed to get out Gomezu: [Kunzite] My hovercraft... is full of eels. Wait, no. Maryoko: Bravo, Kunzite! Have a cookie. >. Endymion's grin became wider. "Well, I was thinking of having >>Nephrite fill that position." Raichi: [Endymion] But heck, the more the merrier! > Nephrite glanced up from his ministrations. "Or rather, filling >Nephrite in that position. But...I'm willing to grant your request." Gomezu: Oh good. I would've been so heartbroken. > Endymion turned onto his side, holding Nephrite's head in >place so his cock was kept in Nephrite's mouth while he moved. On his >side, Endymion raised his leg, Maryoko: Aww, he's going to mark them as his territory. How cute. > revealing his nether hole. > "Nephrite can still join in, though. Raichi: [Nephrite] Hey, I was here first! >Get naked, then get licking, Kunzite. I don't want Nephrite to have a >hard time entering me." Gomezu: [Kunzite] Extremely submissive worm at your service, Sire. >Kunzite stood still for a moment, Maryoko: [Kunzite] Duhh... naked... get naked... then... could you repeat that last bit? >then nodded. Shutting the door, which had been open all this time, Raichi: He didn't mind doing it in public _last_ time.... >Kunzite quickly stripped his clothes off, releasing his prick to jut >up into the air. Maryoko: Psh, it's just for show. >He took his place on the bed, with his head on level with Endymion's >buttocks. Gomezu: All three of them. >Using his hand to spread Endymion wide, Kunzite stuck his tongue out, Maryoko: Oh, real mature. >and began rimming the prince. Endymion reached a hand down breifly to >press Kunzite's head firmly into place, Gomezu: [Endymion] Your head wasn't far enough up my ass, Kunzite. >then moved around to grasp Nephrite's head. Raichi: Enough with this hair-grabbing fetish! >Nephrite released the cock in his mouth as Endymion guided his head up >until they were in a position to kiss deeply. "Undress," whispered >Endymion quietly. "I want to suck your cock while you suck mine." >Nephrite grinned, Gomezu: [Nephrite] Wow... I never would've thought of that! Brilliant strategy! >and hurriedly stripped his clothes off. Endymion's eyes fastened on >Nephrite's hard cock Raichi: [Endymion] Damn... could you try to peel those off for me? >as it emerged, and watched it bob towards him. Gomezu: It's Glinda the Good Witch. >Nephrite took up the required sixty-nine position, then they both >immediately tried to swallow the other's dick. Raichi: Without chewing? Tsk, tsk, didn't your mother teach you manners? Maryoko: Wouldn't it be kind of hard with Kunzite...? > Slurping was the only sound for a while in the prince's bedroom. Gomezu: No sleazy jaz music, even? > Slurping was the only sound for a while in the prince's bedroom. Raichi: Poor old Kunzite. >Zoisite's head lay on his arms Maryoko: [Zoisite] Ichabod... Ichabod.... >which were pressed against the wall. Jadeite's hard cock pounding into >his ass, the hot water beating down onto his back and the sheer >eroticism of getting fucked in the shower were all adding up to an orgasm >that would blast his mind. Raichi: If you ask me, they've all been lobotomized already. > All without anyone touching his rock hard penis. > He had gotten off that way before, all with Kunzite of course, Gomezu: One more thing I could've lived very happily without knowing. >and the tought of coming without being touched there was just another >part of this arousing situation. Maryoko: [Zoisite] _And_ there's the green, scummy bathroom tile, mmmm...! > Jadeite, on the other hand, was getting all the sensation he >needed from Zoisite's tight ass. Although the water beating down on his >>flushed skin didn't hurt. Raichi: Wish I could say the same for _this._ > He moved hard and fast inside Zoisite, and began to feel the >sperm rising in his balls. He hadn't gotten any pussy since before they >had gathered last, Gomezu: The "Mindless Royal Fuck Toy" t-shirt didn't help. > and so when he saw Zoisite glouriously naked in the shower, Maryoko: Not your every-day ordinary naked, but GLORIOUSLY naked! > he felt unable to deny certain urges rising within himself. Raichi: Ludicrous vulgarity? Check. Random sex? Check. Complete lack of self-control and all scruples? Check. > Zoisite could feel a climax of furious proportition building up. Maryoko: [flatly] Joy. > Just a little more...a surge of disappointment flooded him as Jadeite's >>sperm flooded his ass. Zoisite tried moving his hips back onto >>Jadeite,desperate for that last climb, but Jadeite was lost in his own >.bliss,and not giving any consideration to Zoisite. Raichi: Well, you give yourself to anyone who happens to pop into the shower and you have to expect this kind of thing. > As the last shot of semen left him, Jadeite slid out of >Zoisite's ass, Gomezu: Again, this explains a lot. > and fell to the floor, Raichi: ...stone dead. The end. > sitting there in a pleasent daze.He let his head loll back, and the >water wash over him, cleaning him. > "Hey!" Zoisite's voice interrupted his haze. "What about Maryoko: ...Bob? > me?" > Jadeite opened his eyes and looked up to see Zoisite standing >over him, arms on his hips, Raichi: That's an interesting physical deformity, there. >and erect cock standing red and needing release. "All right, Zoisite," said Jadeite placatingly. "Come here." Gomezu: [Jadeite] Sit, Zoisite-- stay! Roll over.... > Zoisite moved close, and Jadeite pulled Zoisite's cock into his >mouth, and bobbed his head on Zoisite's shaft. > Zoisite moaned Raichi: Oh for.... >as he felt his climax approaching again. > >Endymion gave Nephrite one last lick, Maryoko: [Nephrite] Can't I have one for the road? >then removed it from his mouth."All right. Time for the real fun." Raichi: [Nephrite] You invited the Sailor Senshi? > Kunzite immediately looked up his duties in Endymion's ass. Gomezu: [Kunzite] Funny place to keep my contract, sire, but if you say so. >Nephrite released Endymion's cock, and rolled out of the way. > Endymion patted the bed beside him, and grinned as Kunzite >crawled up and over him to lie down in front of him. Kunzite kissed him, >and they traded kisses while Nephrite positioned himself behind Endymion. Maryoko: Brought to you by the Musical Chairs Lemon Association. > Kunzite turned over, presenting his ass Gomezu: [Kunzite] Endymion, my ass. My ass, Prince Endymion. >for penetration to Endymion, who took full advantage to press his cock >into Kunzite's tight ass. Both Endymion and Kunzite groaned as it sunk >in. Once buried, Endymion Raichi: ...died. >held still for Nephrite, who pushed his spit slick cock into Endymion's >spit slick hole. Gomezu: Try saying that three times fast. >Having his cock inside one ass, while another cock filled his ass Maryoko: [waves card in air] Bingo! >was an incrediably addicting experience, and Endymion was already >having thought about Gomezu: What the hell kind of a tense is that? Raichi: Future Semiperfect Upside Down Cake Indicative. >arranging another full on gang-bang with all five of them. Maryoko: Endymion could really learn a few things from "Queen Christina." Raichi: Was it really such a bad deal, Metallia taking over the Earth? > But for now, he revelled in the sensations he was felling. >"Yeeesss," he moaned out loud. "Now start moving." > Kunzite looked around. "What?" All: HE SAID "START MOVING"! > "You don't expect me to do all the work, do you?" > Kunzite looked past Endymion to meet Nephrite's gaze. Gomezu: [Nephrite] Let's kill him. >Nephrite gave him a wry grin and shrugged his shoulders. Turning to >their tasks, Nephrite eased in and out of Endymion, slowly building Maryoko: ...an Anglican Cathedral. >pace, and Kunzite started bucking his hips back and forth on Endymion's >hard pole. Gomezu: I wonder if "flagpole" has ever been used as a euphamism for "penis." > "Oh yeah," groaned out Endymion. "That feels so good." He >stroked a hand over Kuznite's body, then reached down to grasp Kunzite's >cock, and start stroking it in time with Nephrite's thrusting, making it >seem as if all three were connected cock to ass. Raichi: I bet they run into some problems, if they can't tell someone's hand from their butt. Maryoko: [Serenity] Pleased to meet you, sire... EEEK! > Nephrite loved the feel of his dick deep in ass. Gomezu: I'd say we're about neck-deep in ass, and it isn't any fun at all. >Last time, he'd been the one of the end, and this was a new, and very >>pleasent, situation. He thrust harder and harder, pushing his cock far >up Endymion's anal chute, All: [break out laughing] Gomezu: Anal Chutes and Ladders. >rubbing his dick constantly over Endymion's prostrate gland. Endymion >shivered in pleasure as electricty shot up from his ass. Raichi: We've secretly replaced Nephrite's naughty bits with an electrical wire. Let's see how long it takes Endymion to notice. > Endymion's hand gripped tightly on his cock, and Endymion's cock >deep in his ass caused Kunzite to moan in ecstasy. "Yes, my prince. Take >me. Make me yours!" Maryoko: It's more or less done by this time. > Endymion leaned over to whisper in Kunzite's ear. "Yes, you are >truely mine now. You belong to me, body and soul, and you shall obey me >in all things." Gomezu: [Endymion] Which you technically had to do before, since I'm the prince and all, but let's not spoil the moment. >He nibbled on Kunzite's ear lightly, much to the latter's enjoyment. Raichi: Kunzite must enjoy going to the barber. It's a wonder his hair's so long. Gomezu: [Kunzite] Cut it very short around the ears, mmm, and don't be careful at all! Oh YES! > The three of them writhed on the bed in mutual excitement. > Zoisite held Jadeite's head still, and thrust his hips back and >>forth, fucking Jadeite's mouth. Maryoko: That's got to be great fun for Jadeite. His eyes were closed again, and he concentrated on the feelings of the warm water Raichi: ...on his prunelike skin. >and the warm mouth around his prick. > Pleasure rose slowly in him, but Zoisite remained at a steady >slow pace, and the orgasm inside him rose just as slowly, but it would >be all the more sweet when it arrived. Maryoko: ...I'm just going to ignore that sentence, okay? Ignore. Zoisite crested higher and higher on pleasure, until finally he started spunking in Jadeite's mouth, although he was hardly aware of it due to the plateau of bliss he had achieved. Gomezu: So he was too busy having an orgasm to notice he was having an orgasm. > In fact, when Zoisite finally pulled out from Jadeite's mouth, >his cock was limp and small, physical pleasure long gone from it. Maryoko: And Jadeite had long since choked to death. Pity. > Zoisite helped Jadeite to stand, and Jadeite swallowed a >couple of times to get the last traces of sperm out his mouth. Zoisite >helped by placing his tongue into Jadeite's mouth while they kissed. Raichi: [Zoisite] I will be needing that back, when you're finished. > Then they hurriedly cleaned up, and turned the shower off just >as the water was going cold. Gomezu: And skipped off naked through the streets. >Endymion's body jerk uncontrollably as pleasure wracked him. Nephrite's >cock continued to saw in and out of him, Raichi: ...Did I read that right? Gomezu: Nothing spells "erotic" like "penetration with a bladed object." >and Kunzite continued to buck on his cock. Raichi: Ride 'em cowboy. >Cum rose in his balls Maryoko: Has anyone been counting just HOW MANY TIMES that particular phrase has been used!? >and he prepared himself to shoot deep into Kunzite's bowels. All: ........... Raichi: Well that was exceptionally revolting. > "Are you ready, Kunzite? Ready for the final touch to make you >mine?" Maryoko: [Kunzite] Actually, I've been thinking. I'm afraid we're just not right for each other, Endymion. I'm sorry, I hope you'll understand... and treasure the moments we've spent together. > "Oh, more than ready, my prince. Take me. Take me now. Come in >me!" Endymion did just that, his buttocks clenching around Nephrite's >cock, Raichi: [Endymion] You'll never get out alive! Hahahaha!! >trapping it, as his own cock pulsed then spat deep into Kunzite's ass. Maryoko: Spitting's a dirty habit.... Gomezu: ...I know a worse one. >Kunzite was on the verge of coming himself when Nephrite added his hand >to Endymion's jacking Kunzite off, and that did it. Kunzite shot his >sperm onto the sheets, and over the hands of those who masturbated him. Gomezu: I'm so glad this fic is careful to tell us the exact whereabouts of all sperm. I'd feel so lost otherwise. Raichi: Every sperm is sacred. > Nephrite brought his hand up to taste Kunzite, and found it Maryoko: Kunzite's an "it"? Suddenly it's all even more twisted and wrong.... >salty but pleasent. He rubbed his hand on Endymion's body, and slowly >stroked the prince until he calmed from his high. Gomezu: Anywhere particular on Endymion's body, or...? Raichi: His eyeballs. > Then Nephrite proceeded to fuck Endymion deeply for another >minute Maryoko: [author] And so, you know, it just goes on like that. >before finally reaching his own orgasm, and coming deep inside his >prince. > They lay on the bed, panting and sweating, just relaxing in >the afterglow. Raichi: [Nephrite] So... are there cigarettes in the Silver Millennium? > Endymion rose slightly, as much as he was able to, still >connected to the other two. Gomezu: After orgasm, doesn't... oh, never mind. >"Come on, let's hit the shower Raichi: [Endymion] ...break a few windows, and spraypaint on the walls! Ha ha! >and clean up," he suggested with a spark in his eye. > Although a good idea, there was one problem. Maryoko: They couldn't reach. > "Hey! Who used up all the hot water?" Gomezu: [Kunzite] Probably my boyfriend giving himself to random people again, Sire. Raichi: Oh, let's get out of here. [all file out, uncertain of their future] ========================================== STINGER: "He thrust harder and harder, pushing his cock far up Endymion's anal chute..." ========================================== ___________ "This's Nothing" (my fanfiction page): http://sardonyx.virtualave.net/ "The Dark City of Mecha" (the epic clash between the forces of Good and Evil!): http://sardonyx.virtualave.net/HAPT/ This one was difficult. Nothing new happens. It's just the same old over and over and I think I'm going mad. So I'm afraid this chapter isn't very good. Maybe I'll redo it later, but right now I'll cry if you make me read it over again. On an amusing note, I took the liberty of doing a brief tally just to see how this came out in relation to Evil Neph, and the other chapters. 31 "cock," 20-odd "ass," and all in just eight or nine pages! Of course Liddell-sama outdid that, but her story was several times as long and roughly two billion times as good. Anyway, the point is, the fic becomes a lot less painful if you paste it into your favorite word-processor and employ the "Find/Change" feature. Change all instances of "cock" to "spoon," "ass" to "fork" and "fuck" to "bugger." A few of my favorites: "You do have a very buggerable fork, Zoisite." "Oh, my prince. Take me. Swallow my spoon," 'The double stimulation of a spoon, his *prince's* spoon, up his fork, and his own spoon...' And so forth. Anyway, there's my attempt to make up for quality. Without further ado, the stunning conclusion to WAEF, Hentai Man Naoko Me Etc. -Sardonyx- "REMEMBER WANDA...!" ========================================== tDCoM Theater: "WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS ch. 3" ========================================== >WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS, PART 3 >by The Hentai Man Gomezu: Yadda yadda, blah blah. >"Yes, my prince. Do me," Jadeite hissed. Raichi: We don't even get a clumsy introduction this time? >He looked down through his legs, which he was holding up and out of the >way, to watch his prince, Prince Endymion, plowing away, shoving his >thick cock up Jadeite's ass. Maryoko: Run-on sentence of the year award. >That it as his prince was all the reason Jadeite needed to let Endymion >fuck him. Raichi: Huh? Maryoko: You know, um, that's not a very good reason at all. > "You feel so tight, Jeddy," whispered Endymion. "You're so >good to let me fuck you." Gomezu: The story thus far: Endymion is fucking Jadeite. Got it? > Unfortunately, with Endymion resting his hands on Jadeite's >thighs, there was no hand free to stroke Jadeite's cock, Raichi: Jadeite's own hands were sent off to help the war effort. >but he wasn't complaining. "Anything for you, my prince." > "She still wont put out?" came a voice. Endymion turned his >head to see his other guardians standing nearby, smirking. Gomezu: What, do these people have sex in the town square or something? Shouldn't they at least SHUT a door? > "She wants to remain pure and chaste for me. Maryoko: [Serenity] If it's okay, I'd like to go on remaining pure and chaste for you after we're married. Raichi: [Serenity] Is there an STD you _don't_ have? >I can respect that," Endymion said, never stopping, or even slowling, >his pounding of Jadeite. Gomezu: There's no way in hell he _deserves_ it, but he can _respect_ it. > "Jsut as long as you get plenty of pussy here on earth," >Nephrite pointed out. Maryoko: Great guy, Endymion. > "Or, failing that, you guys," replied Endymion. Raichi: The story thus far: five guys like to have sex with one another. > "And, surprisingly, the only one you haven't fucked is the >fuck-toy himself, Zoisite," said Nephrite. Gomezu: Like Nephrite can talk, or anything. > "Hey!" Zoisite scowled at his fellow guardian. > Kunzite patted Zoisite's ass. "He's right, though. You do liked >to be fucked." Raichi: Gee, Kunzite's an even better boyfriend than Endymion. > "Only really by you," Zoisite purred, leaning against Kunzite. Maryoko: How romantic. Raichi: [Zoisite] Oh, and Jadeite... and whoever happens to duck into the shower, you know... and.... > "Why don't you stop chatting, and one of you come over here >and suck my cock?" Jadeite suggested. > "Good idea," Endymion agreed. "Kunzite, you do it." Gomezu: [Kunzite] Oh, yeah, who died and made you Prince? > Kunzite looked about to protest for a moment, Raichi: [Kunzite] I can't go on living this way! >then nodded. "As you command, my prince." > He lay down on the bed, in the opposite direction to Jadeite, >and took the oppurtunity to look down through Jadeite's legs. Maryoko: [Kunzite] Tee hee, I see London, I see France.... >As he watched Endymion's cock slide in and out of Jadeite's arsehole, >he moved Jadeite's cock up so the tip slipped into his mouth. He ran >his tongue over the warm meat, and Jadeite groaned in appreciation. > "Zoisite, Nephrite, come here. I have an idea in mind." Gomezu: [Nephrite] You've figured out how to stop Beryl's invasion, sir? > "Zoisite and Nephrite bowed, and went to their prince's side. >He whispered in their ears for a moment, and then they all looked at >Jadeite and grinned. > Jadeite caught their look and frowned. "What?" Raichi: [Zoisite] Hee hee... we're going to shortsheet his bed. > "You'll see," Endymion smiled. "Kunzite, is he wet enough yet?" > Kunzite released Jadeite's cock for a moment. "What for?" Gomezu: To wax the floor with, what do you THINK!? > "For fucking you, of course." Kunzite gave Endymion a surprised >look, Raichi: [Kunzite] Wow, fucking, hadn't thought of that.... >but Endymion gave him no time to complain, and said. "The three of >you: naked. Now." Maryoko: How the heck did Beryl manage to lose, with this guy in charge? > Kunzite stood, still unsure of what was happening, Gomezu: Well Kunzite, when a man and a bunch of other men who think with their genitals can't find a woman who's willing to even pretend to love them.... >and he, Zoisite and Nephrite disrobed. > Endymion leaned down over Jadeite, and wrapped his arms >around him. "We're just changing positions around," Endymion whispered. Raichi: That is a darned accurate summary. >Then he turned over, his cock still half-buried in Jadeite's behind, >so that Endymion lay on his back, and Jadeite lay on him. Maryoko: Jadeite LAY on him? How does that work? > Jadeite raised an eyebrow, but took advantage of the position >to engage Endymion is a deep kiss. Endymion opened his mouth wide in >happy surprise as Jadeite's tongue entered his mouth. Raichi: [Endymion] Jadeite! I didn't know you felt this way about me! > They stayed that way, continually kissing, until the others >coughed to get their attention. Gomezu: [Kunzite] Sex, sir, remember? >Endymion broke the kiss. "That's enough, Jadeite. Now sit up." > Jadeite looked disappointed to be seperated from his prince >like that, but obeyed. He whimpered slightly in pleasure as the cock in >his ass fully impaled him. > "Now, Kunzite, put his dick up your ass," instructed Endymion. Raichi: [Kunzite] What's wrong with a kiss? Couldn't I start off with a nice kiss? > Kunzite paused, then moved to straddle Endymion. He rested >himself on Endymion's stomach, and reached back to aim Jadeite's >cock. Then he moved back, shuddering in approaching esctasy as Jadeite's >prick entered him. Maryoko: Okay, so, Jadeite is lying on Endymion and Kunzite somehow manages to sit on Endymion and have Jadeite's penis inside him. Go on. > "Don't sit on my stomach," Endymion said. "I can't support both >your weights." Raichi: Pansy. > Kunzite moved until he was kneeling awkwardly, his hands >helping him balance. "I wont be able to get off this way," he said. Gomezu: Remembering last chapter, he's been expecting Zoisite to. > "Good," replied Endymion. "I don't want you to cum yet." He >smiled at Kunzite's obvious look of distress. "I want to suck you off. >I want your sperm in me." Maryoko: [Endymion] I want to have babies. >His grin matched the one forming on Kunzite's face. Raichi: He's never fully undressed without a smile. > Endymion looked past the two on him to see Zoisite and Nephrite >kissing each other, and stroking each other's cocks. "Don't waste it," >Endymion said. "Come and put those to a really good use." Gomezu: [Endymion] Impregnate my fiance for me. > Nephrite and Zoisite broke apart, and turned to the group on >the bed. Zoisite moved in behind Endymion, and wiped saliva on his >cock. Maryoko: Didn't your mother ever tell you not to wipe your hands where your pants would be if you had pants? >Then he positioned the cock at the entrance to Endymion's ass, and >pushed. Endymion's eyes fluttered as Zoisite entered him, and he moaned. Raichi: Are these people made of silly putty, or what? >Jadeite hugged Kunzite tightly as he felt the cock in his ass pulse. Maryoko: [Kunzite] Hold me, Jadeite my love! > Nephrite took up his place behind Zoisite. Before entering him, >Neprhite whispered "You do have a very fuckable ass, Zoisite." Raichi: [Zoisite] Oh, Nephrite, that's the nicest thing anyone ever said to me! > "Then fuck it," Zoisite growled in a low voice. > Nephrite smiled, and did as Zoisite asked. Zoisite let out a >continous moan as Nephrite entered him. > When Nephrite was fully in, Endymion said. "Okay, Nephrite. >Now go to work." Gomezu: [Nephrite] Any more specific instructions, or...? > Nephrite placed his hands on Zoisite's hips for support, drew >back, then thrust hard. The force caused Zoisite to pump into Endymion, >who then jerked in Jadeite, causing him to hump in Kunzite. Raichi: TIME OUT! I hate to do this, but really. Draw a diagram of these guys. I don't think it even works to begin with, and even if it did, they all would've collapsed right there. >Endymion watched, happy, as Kunzite's cock bobbed from the reaction. > Nephrite continued to thrust hard and slow, the chain reaction >making everyone moan. > "Oh, Nephrite. Oh, Endymion. It feels so gooood," moaned Zoisite. Maryoko: No, no, I'm not convinced. > "Glad to be of service," Nephrite said, placing a gentle kiss >on Zoisite's shoulder as he thrust again. "Glad *to* service." Raichi: How terribly witty that Nephrite is. > "Kunzite," Endymion whispered, getting the guardian's attention. >"Think of my mouth wrapped around your cock. Think of my tongue, >washing over you, your hot meat pushing into my throat. Think of me >sucking you, taking you all the way in. Gomezu: [Endymion] 'Cause that's as close as you're ever going to get. >*Feel* me, Kunzite." > Kunzite moaned and shuddered. "Oh, my prince. Take me. Swallow >my cock," he returned hoarsely. Maryoko: [Kunzite] Really... you can have it. I don't need it for anything. > Jadeite, unable to stand this slow pace, picked his own pace >up, bouncing up and down on Endymion's cock and thrusting on his own >into Kunzite. The double stimulation of a cock, his *prince's* cock, up >his ass, and his own cock Raichi: BINGO! >in a tight hole was slowly making him lose control. > "Calm down, Jeddy," called out Endymion. Maryoko: [Jadeite] You don't have to yell, I'm right here on top of you. >"No need to lose it yet. I want to savour your tight ass for a while >more." Raichi: What, is his bottom going to fall off when he orgasms? What difference does it make? > "I'll try...my prince...," Jadeite gasped out. > As Nephrite pumped Zoisite, he reached up and played with >Zoisite's nipples, Maryoko: [Nephrite] Got any sevens? Gomezu: [nipple] Go Fish. >twisting and flicking them. Zoisite let his head fall Raichi: Zoisite's taking this detatchable body parts thing a little too far. >back onto Nephrite's shoulder, eyes closed as he let the feelings sweep >over him. "Mmmm...nice." Gomezu: Sorry, Zoisite, still not convinced. Maybe you should try moaning some of the usual boring things over again. > Kunzite tried to move to a more comfortable position, but it >was hard to do so without falling over entirely. Raichi: That happens to Kunzite a lot. >Jadeite's cock pistoning out of his ass didn't help his concentration >any, and his own hard cock needed relief too. He started squeezing his >ass tighter to bring Jadeite off quicker so his own needs could be >attended too. Maryoko: Tsk, selfish. > Jadeite bucked wildly. Gomezu: Junior _Naughty_ Rodeo Daredevils. >Endymion's cock and now Kunzite's tightening ass was proving too much >for him. "My prince...I'm going to cum!" Raichi: Yes, that's generally the point of this exercise. > Endymion flexed his own hips. Zoisite's prick had been driving >him crazy too. Maryoko: So Zoisite's penis had been driving Jadeite crazy!? Raichi: Zoisite's got secrets you wouldn't believe. >"Yes, Jeddy. Come...I'm coming too!" > Endymion's cock spurting in his ass was the last straw Gomezu: Endymion's cock... straw. Fine choice of a metaphor. >for Jadeite, and he erupted too, moaning incoherently as pleasure >overtook him. "Yes, my prince," he gasped out. "Cover me with your cum." > "I'll do one better," Maryoko: [Endymion] I'll completely ignore you. >Endymion said. "Come here, Kunzite." > Kunzite gratefully pulled himself off Jadeite's still >twitching cock, cum dribbling out of his ass, Raichi: Really, Kunzite, learn to wipe. >and moved up to put his prick within reach of Endymion's mouth. He >moaned as the prince took his cock into his mouth. Gomezu: Endymion's very flexible, it seems. Raichi: [Kunzite] Hey, what about me? >"Oh, my prince. So good." > Endymion wrapped his mouth tightly around Kunzite's cock, >whipping his tongue over the meat, Maryoko: [Endymion] Here, the penalty for treason is... twenty lashes. With my tongue. >savouring the taste in his mouth. He sucked hard, pulling the cock in >deeply until it tickled his tonsils. Raichi: Nothing turns me on like a good vomit reflex. > Nephrite and Zoisite had paused in their humping while they >watched Endymion and Jadeite cumming. Maryoko: The Earthlings of the day probably couldn't walk and chew gum at the same time! >When Kunzite moved, so did they, as Endymion told them to before. >Extracting themselves from their respective partners, they moved to >either side of the exhausted Jadeite, and started stroking themselves >rapidly. > Jadeite turned his head. "Hey, what are you doing?" Raichi: [Zoisite] Crochet? > "You wanted to be covered in cum. Allow us." Maryoko: So, Endymion magically predicted Jadeite would say that? > Before Jadeite could protest, Zoisite and Nephrite started >cumming, sperm spraying from their cocks Gomezu: ...instead of from their ears, as was the norm. >to splatter over Jadeite's sweaty body. > Kunzite watched, his head turned around, Raichi: ...spewing green vomit. >Endymion's mouth. Endymion suckled greedily, drinking down the semen >that coated his mouth. His tongue remained active, cleaning Kunzite's >cock as it spat, dribbled, then stopped and started shrinking. Maryoko: ... until it vanished from sight. Gomezu: Use it or lose it, Mr-Please-Oh-Please-My-Prince-Make-Me-Yours. > The last few drops dripped from Zoisite's and Nephrite's cocks >to land on Jadeite's legs. Jadeite looked down at his cum covered body, >then growled at Neprhite. "Next time, your ass is mine." Gomezu: [singing] My ass is your ass, your ass is my ass.... > "Hey, what about Zoisite?" > Jadeite smirked. "I've already fucked him." > Kunzite fell off Endymion Maryoko: Without having ever been on him, to our knowledge. >to lie on the bed, limp. "You never told me," he said to Zoisite. Gomezu: [Kunzite] You were raped!? Maryoko: [Zoisite] At first, yes.... > "If I'm the only one he hasn't fucked, then Endymion's already >fucked you. And you never told me that," Zoisite retorted. Raichi: [Kunzite] If I were not a seme, then something else I'd be! If I were not a seme, a window-dresser, me! With a... > "If it makes you feel better, I'll fuck you later," Endymion >said, still lying under Jadeite. Maryoko: [Nephrite] No, sir, you're confusing "sore" and "better" again. > "Sounds like we still got another fuck session on the books," >Nephrite said. Gomezu: Tee hee. He said "fuck." > "Sounds good to me," said Jadeite, moving off Endymion, and >standing up. "But I need to be cleaned up." Raichi: [Jadeite] It's my "jumping somebody in the shower" time. > The others looked at each other, then as one lunged at Jadeite, >who disappeared under a pile of bodies, and, more importantly, willing >tongues. Maryoko: Ah, last of the detatched sensory aparatus, the elusive wild tongue. Gomezu: Oh, let's get out of here already. * * * Maryoko cleared her throat, waving a cute hand for silence. From the screen, the two villains stared. "Do you suppose they've snapped?" Kyouhansha asked, tugging at a strand of his hair. "No," Jiushenza replied, eyes narrowed. "I think they're going to mock us." "We would like to thank your humble Dark Lordship for giving us this fine literary..." the girl faltered, "This ah..." "This," Raichi broke in a little too brightly. "Since we came to care so much about the c... ch... chara... inhabitants of this twisted little world, we thought we'd write a little tribute to them. Gomezu, if you'd be so kind," The sidekick nodded and began to read aloud. "One year after their poignant adventures in 'When All Else Fails,' Endymion and his four Royal Guardians had come far. Unfortunately Queen Beryl's evil plans had gone into effect. She had recruited Kunzite and Zoisite, after their bitter break-up, promising lots of suppression, subordination and abuse to Kunzite and shower attendants for the fuck-toy. Her troops freed Jadeite from the Royal Dungeon, after he'd tried to sodomize an unwilling Martian ambassador; and Nephrite she had found lounging about grumbling that he hadn't gotten hardly enough attention. She attacked on the Prince's wedding night, sending everyone into a tizzy. Endymion himself was caught in his dressing-room, masturbating furiously over a National Geographic, and was captured with the eager assistance of his fiance. The world was cast into darkness, Serenity became a wild lesbian punk rocker and they all lived happily ever after, the end." Gomezu raised his eyes, trying to look less haggard than he felt. The evil duo were silent a minute, then Kyouhansha broke into a rage. "You think you're so clever, huh!? Well just you wait! We've only BEGUN to torture you! In a few days you'll be begging for the good old days of 'When All Else Fails'! Just-- you-- wait!" The screen blacked out, and the good guys heaved a collective tired sigh. ========================================== STINGER: "We're just changing positions around," Endymion whispered. ========================================== ___________ (my fanfiction page): http://sardonyx.virtualave.net/ "The Dark City of Mecha" (the epic clash between the forces of Good and Evil!): http://sardonyx.virtualave.net/HAPT/ Back to the Index