In the not-too-distant future 
Somewhere in outer space. 
Mike and his robot pals 
Are caught in an endless chase 

Pursued by a woman whose name is Pearl 
An evil gal who wants to rule the world 
Teamed up with a monkey blight 
Together they chase them - all throughout the day and night. 

(We'll get yoooouuuuuu!) 

"We'll send them cheesy stories 
The worst we can find (La La La) 
Written by the fans of different stuff 
Who have way too much free time (La La La)" 

Now keep in mind the guys can't control 
Where the stories begin or flow (La La La) 
They'll try to keep their sanity 
Despite the lame stories and some cheap cameo's 

Robot Role Call! 

Cambot (How z'it look?) 
Gypsy (Makeup here!) 
Tom Servo (More gum please.) 
Crooooow! (It hurts!) 

If you're wondering how this happened 
'Cause this plot's all out of whack (La La La) 
Just repeat to yourself, "It's just a show 
I should really just relax!" 

 for... 
Mystery Science Theater 3000! 


Everyone is on the deck. Crow walks up to Cambot.

Crow: Hi, welcome to the satellite of Love. We're playing poker.

Crow walks over to Mike and Tom Servo. Mike throws his hand down on the floor and 
storms away. Tom collects all the chips.

Tom: Hee hee, I'm the best poker player ever. I don't even have to worry about my face!

Suddenly, a green light starts flashing and something starts flashing on the main screen.

Crow: Uh oh, it's the Mad's.

An ugly female face appears on the main screen.

Mike: Well, if it isn't my arch-nemesis, Pearl Fore-.

Pearl: Cram it, Mike. Guess what I found in your room?

Mike: Umm... what?

Pearl: Does a certain sailor moon lemon ring a bell?

Mike: I...uh...um... I don't know what you are talking about. I.. um... don't read lemons.

Pearl: Suuuuuuure.

Tom: Ummmm, how do we watch a story.

Pearl: You'd be amazed what technology can do.

Crow: So, what’s so evil about a lemon? 

Pearl: Recognize the author's name, Shadow?

All: No.

Pearl: Damn.

The video screen flashes off, and a red light starts to blink.

All: WE GOT A MOVIE SIGN!!!

They run into the theater and sit in their respective seats. The story starts.

A Sailor Moon Lemon: The Lust Virus 

Crow: Well, at least the name is original.

 Category: Anime » Sailor Moon  Censor:  NC-17  Reviews:  38  Download/Print:  20KB
 Author: Shadow 

Tom: Hmm, still can't put my finger on it. Hey, Mike, didn't she write some other story... 
some other lemon?
Mike: I don't know. How should I know? I don't read lemons. What is this, the Spanish 
Inquisition?
Ximinenz: (leaps up from the seat next to Tom, dressed in red robes) Nobody ever expects 
the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is suprise... and fear... our two weapons are 
suprise and fear... and ruthless efficiency... and our almost fanatical devotion to the pope... 
our four... amongst our elements are surprise, fear, rut-."
Tom: Go away. This is a closed set.
Ximinenz: But... Aw damn. (leaps down beneath the seat next to Tom)

>First of all, this is an XXX lemon, so turn back now if you're underage, or if
>you're not a sick bastard. 

Crow: Well, there's two more reasons I can't sit through this. Sayonara.
Mike grabs Crow and forces him back in his seat.
Tom: Sit back down, Mr. Oh Yeah, It’s Not Illegal For Me To Be On This Site.

>This lemon was written solely to be MSTed, so it's so far below my usual standards it's 
>sickening. Read it if you want, but don't bother flaming me, since I delete flames and spam 
>on sight. If you want to MST it, e-mail me and we'll set something up. Enjoy!

Crow: (furiously writing down e-mail address) Oh god, she is so gonna get flamed. But, 
she won’t know till it’s too late. No, cause the subject will say 'This is not a flame'! Heh 
heh heh.

>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------


>The Lust Virus

Tom: Remember when Cambot caught the Lust Virus?
Crow: (wiping brow) Oh yeah.
Mike: What?

>Somewhere in the warehouse district of downtown Tokyo, a body of matter
>larger than a cat, smaller than a football field, many times larger
>than a single sperm

Crow: Sperm! HAHAHA, classic!

>cell from a sailor, and slightly larger than a breadbasket, stood a dog.

>Next to that dog stood a warehouse.

Tom: And next to the dog, stood a body of matter larger than a cat, smaller than a footba-.
Mike: Woah, slow down there, turbo.
 
>Inside that warehouse stood a mad doctor in a lab coat shaking his
>fist at the TV. "Goddamn fucking Packers!! Blast you all to hell!!!"

Crow: (mad doctor) That’s the last goddamn time I bet good money on a rerun!

>Behind that raving doctor was his blonde and big-breasted assistant.
>"Doctor, if you keep screaming like that, you're going to change the
>cosmological constant of the universe."

Tom: (Assistant) Plus, you're getting spittle on my tits.

>The doctor stood up and composed himself. "Right, right, and pigs will
>fly and cows will give caramel milk. I remember what happened last
>time." 

Mike: (mad doctor) Dammit, we gave almost all our sweaters and snow shovels to those 
demons.  But not this time!

>He straightened his tie, and subsequently accidentally strangled himself. "Ms. 
>Jugglesworth!" he gasped out.

>His assistant sighed and loosened his tie. "Sir, shouldn't we be
>starting now?"

Crow: (mad docter) Yes, just let me tie my shoes... oh god, I just cut my jugular!

>The doctor took a few breaths and threw away his tie. "Quite right,
>my dear. Today we shall be experimenting on the Sailor Scouts."

Tom: (Wicked Witch of the West) And their little dog, too.

>"But doctor, wasn't that your plan for the last five months? And didn't
>it fail miserably every time?"

Crow: (mad docter) Losing... blood... fast...

>"Yes, but this time we'll be taking over their minds and causing them
>to feel an overload of hormonal impulses, thereby causing them to engage
>each other in sexual acts till they become simpering piles of lust!!!

Mike: (mad docter) Plus, afterwards, it will give them horrible acne!

>BWAAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!"
>
>Ms. Jugglesworth waited till the doctor had exhausted himself, then
>reminded him, "But Dr. Lustidick, that's the exact same plan we've been
>doing."

Tom: (Dr. Lustidick) And you're reminding me that this is standard lemon plot #44 why?

>"Hah! So what?! *THIS* time we'll succeed!!!"

Crow: (Dr. Lustidick) Hah, even though we suck.... wait a minute...

>"Right......." Ms. Jugglesworth turned away and pulled out her cell
>phone and cancelled her plans with a man with a large chest and a big
>shlong, her would-be date for the night.
>
>"Now," the doctor cackled, holding up a large star-shaped green and
>purple organism, "Let the experiment commence!!!"
>
>The organism floated up into the air and hung there for a few seconds,
>then took a header into the doctor's mug of beer. It immediately sprang
>back up, slammed into the wall, urinated on the TV, and flew out of the
>warehouse, stopping to urinate again on a pile of coiled rope. 

Mike: That wacky organism, when will he learn.

>It was at that time that Dr. Lustidick started throwing rocks at it, so it went
>on its way to find the Sailor Senshi.
>
>***
>
>In her house somewhere in whatever town she was living in, Serena
>whatever-her-last-name-is was reading mangas with her panties around her
>ankles. She had two fingers working in and out of her dripping 

Crow: Hairy-hole-between-her-legs.

>cunt as she followed the story of the big-breasted teacher being used by her
>students as a reward for doing well on a test (actual Secret Plot story)
>The students were just about to gang-bang the teacher when a breeze from
>her window blew across her backside, effectively bringing her mood down
>a few degrees. She sat up, kicking off her panties which had since
>become a burden. She closed the window, but not quickly enough to
>prevent a small green and purple organism from flying in and burrowing
>into her chest. She tried to scream, but her cries were cut short when
>the organism invaded her system, increasing her hormonal levels till
>they were almost unbearable. 

Mike: But then the organism realized he had invaded Sailor Moon, not Sailor Senshi-.
Tom: -Whoever the hell that is-.
Mike: - and killed her. The end.
Crow: We wish.

>Her pussy flowed like a river and her nipples became small steel spikes, sensitive to the 
>very air around them.
>
>A noise behind her snapped her attention to full. Her door had opened,
>and Rini, looking as small and kawaii as ever, walked in. "Hey, Serena,
>you dropped your locket in my room," she said curtly. She tossed the
>locket at Serena's half-nude form, just then noticing exactly what her
>future mother was presently *not* wearing. 

Tom: (Rini) Wow, you're 8not8 wearing any panties!
Mike: (Serena) Thats *not*, you little retard.

>"What...what..."
>
>"Wanna go for three times?" Serena asked lustily. Her tongue was
>practically lolled out as her breathing quickened at the sight of the
>tiny female form before her. Her juices were making a stain on the
>bedspread as 

Crow: She pissed on the bed.
Tom: Well, thats not arousing me at all. Shadow calls this a lemon?

>her lust increased. Suddenly she leapt from the bed and
>bolted across the room, tackling Rini and shutting the door behind her
>at the same time. "You little minx...teasing your elders like this,"
>Serena whispered sensually into Rini's ear. "I'll have to teach you a
>lesson you won't forget."
>
>Her hand traveled over Rini's school uniform and tugged at the collar as
>she planted a kiss firmly on her daughter's tender lips. Rini pulled
>away, and almost smacked her head against the door. "Serena! What're
>you doing?!"
>
>Serena answered by lightly tugging on the collar of Rini's uniform, then
>in one quick motion, tore a strip down to her waist, 

Mike: Apparently, peeing on the bed gave her superhuman strength.
Crow: (Hulk Serena hybrid) ME SERENA RIP CLOTHS.

>and pulled apart the two remaining halves, exposing the prepubescent chest. 
>She lowered her head and placed her mouth over where Rini's right tit would 
>grow in a few short years

Tom: ...................She has to wait for her tits to grow?

>and sucked with all her might. Rini let out an involuntary moan, followed by 
>another protest. "Serena, stop it! Don't do that!"
>
>Serena ignored her and flicked her tongue over her flat nipples,
>releasing another moan. She switched to the left breast and gave it
>equal attention, rubbing the opposite side with her hand. Rini kept on
>moaning, thinking she wanted Serena to stop taking advantage of her, but
>secretly wishing for more of this strange pleasure she was feeling.
>Once again Serena moved up to kiss Rini, which brought some disappointed
>moans from the little tyke. 

Crow: Since when is time travelling incest erotic?

>Serena gave her a quick kiss, still rubbing her breasts and now 
>moving her head to nibble on her ears. This brought
>quick gasps from Rini who tried her best to hold on to the little sanity
>left to her. After a few minutes of this, Serena pulled away, making
>Rini groan involuntarily. The Sailor Senshi didn't stay away long,
>though. 

Tom: More of this... Sailor Senshi.... who the hell is she?
Mike: I'm guessing that Sailor Senshi is Moon in America.
Tom: ...Ah.

>She quickly disrobed completely, discarding the upper half of
>her uniform. Before Rini could protest, Serena grabbed her skirt and
>tore it off in one quick motion, catching her panties in the same
>attack.
>
>Rini wanted more of Serena's mouth on her tits,

Crow: Which hadn't grown yet, but would in a few years...

>but she knew exposing herself like this was wrong. She desperately 
>tried to pull away, but the door behind her blocked her escape. She tried 
>calling for help, but another kiss from Serena cut her short.

Mike: (Rini) Wait, Serena, I have gonerimmmmmph.

>Serena wasted no time and pulled Rini down on her ass on the floor,
>yanking her legs apart roughly. The little girl's pussy lips were
>displayed fully to the horny teenager, increasing her lust five-fold.
>She dived into Rini's crotch tongue-first, licking it from ass to clit.
>Rini let out a half-gasp, half-scream 

Tom: Quarter belch, part groan.
 
>as the pleasure washed over her. She felt a moistness between her legs 
>she had never felt before, and she felt Serena licking up that moistness like 
>it was chocolate ice cream. 

Mike: (Serena) The hell? Why is there chocolate icecream between your legs?

>"Oohhhh...." Rini moaned out loud. "Oh....oh mommy! Mommy! Make me
>feel good, mommy!" she shouted, again and again as Serena stabbed her
>tongue into her dripping cunt over and over again, tongue-fucking her
>daughter with unreserved lust. Rini came after only a few minutes, and
>came again and again with every thrust of her mother's tongue. Finally
>she collapsed against the door, thoroughly exhausted. Serena, sensing
>that this was the end of their get-together, stood up and opened the
>door, causing Rini's head to drop between the door frame. She walked
>out, still completely nude, in search of more partners.

Crow: (Yelling) Where's the pabst?
Tom: ...the hell?

>Elsewhere in the house, Serena's brother Sammy was heading to Serena's
>room to tell her to clean up the mess she made while making a sandwich
>earlier in the day. What he found was Rini, apparently unconscious in
>Serena's doorway. Being the concerned cousin (technically uncle), he
>rushed over to help her. Imagine his surprise when he saw her lying
>there completely nude, her uniform torn to pieces. He was just about to
>go get his parents for help when he felt a tugging on his arm. He
>glanced down and saw Rini standing up, her eyes slightly glazed over.

Mike: (Rini) Get...me..some...Ben...Gay....

>"Rini, are you all right?" he asked just before she pushed him to the
>ground and tugged off his pants. He was about to protest, but her mouth
>immediately wrapped itself around his limp cock and sucked like a
>Pauly Shore movie.

Crow: Shadow insulted Pauly Shore? I AM SO GOING TO KILL HER!!!!!!!
Tom: Hey, whats the problem? You don't even like Pauly Shore.
Crow: I'M GOING TO TOTALY KI.... hey, you're right. What the hell?

>Even though he didn't fully realize what was going
>on, Sammy quickly became erect, and Rini quickly moved her pussy over
>his cock and pressed down hard. He wasn't big enough to pop her cherry,
>which suited her just fine. She moved up and down on his cock, flexing
>new muscles in her cunt and squeezed Sammy's cock on each downstroke.
>Both children moaned with each other's movements, and their moans filled
>the currently-empty house. Both parents wouldn't be back from their
>respective jobs/errands for quite some time.

Mike: (Sarcasticlly) You know, I don't think Shadow put in enough incest.
Let's hope their father gets home and teaches them a lesson.

>***
>
>Serena bounded down the stairs and headed for the kitchen in search of
>her mother's rolling pin. She suddenly had an urge to shove that thing
>very far into either of her lower orifices, preferebly both.
>
>*ding-dong*
>
>Dang damn dung, now who could that be? Serena hurried to the front
>door and checked through the peephole, catching a gander and a head of
>blue hair.

Mike: (Serena) YES, it's Sasami!
Tom: (Serena) Sweet, it's Hotohori!
Crow: (Serena) My god, it's....that....person....with....blue....hair...
what the hell is wrong with me?

>Ami! It was Ami! Sweet, smooth, hot little Ami.
>
>Serena opened the door and was quickly greeted by Ami. "Hello, Serena,
>are you ready to study for that history exam?" And then she noticed
>that Serena wasn't wearing anything. Before she could react Serena
>rushed forward and hugged her, pressing her lips against Ami's and
>moving her hand down to the young genius's rear end. Serena raised
>Ami's skirt up and slipped her hand into her friend's panties, rubbing
>and squeezing her ass cheeks.

Mike: Then, Ami noticed that Serena was kissing her.

>Ami managed to regain her senses about that time. She pulled away, with
>a little resistance from Serena. "Serena, what's gotten into you?!" she
>cried out.
>
>"I'm feelin' a little warm," Serena answered in a low whisper. "Want
>to cool me off?"

Tom:.....What? Cool you off?  Doesn't sex do the oppisite?

> She resumed her kiss with Ami, breaking it after a
>second to pull her off to a small alley next to her house. "Don't worry
>Ami, I'll satisfy you first."
>
>"Serena, stop this!" Ami screamed. "This isn't right!"
>
>"Yes, it is, it's as right as we want it to be." She kissed Ami again
>and slowly unbuttoned her uniform and slipped off her skirt. Ami could
>do little except 

Crow: Explode in an atomic blast that leveled Tokyo, making room for Tokyo-3

>surrender to Serena's advances as she felt her bra
>being unbuckled and her small breasts popping free of their confinement.
>Serena licked her friend's ears and nibbled on her lobes,

Tom: And Ami, being a Ferengi, came right there and then.

>listening to her moan and feeling her own temperature rising. She lowered her head
>and licked all over the small breasts, causing Ami's breath to come
>in short gasps. She licked down her chest, all over her tummy, and down
>below her waist. She pulled off Ami's panties and rubbed her finger
>up and down her cunt and subsequently placing it in her mouth and

Crow: (screaming) Where's the PABST?
Tom:....What?

>licking off the juices. Ami was already wet and willing, which only
>made Serena's job easier. She licked all over Ami's pussy and sucked
>her clit into her mouth. Ami instantly came from the suction on her
>already over-sensitized clit, and Serena just kept pleasuring her.

>Almost unbeknownst to the two lovers, a shower of rose petals heralded
>the arrival of Zoicite, brought back to life by whatever mysterious
>force you wanna use. 

Mike: I blame the Force.
Tom: (yelling) DAMN YOU, MIDICHLORIN'S!!!


>(I don't care, I just want to keep the story going)

Crow: Join the fucking club.

>"Hah, I've got them cornered," said Zoicite. That was two seconds
>before she noticed they were both nude and having sex.

Tom: Jeez, not much gets by her.

> "WHAT THE BLOODY
>HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING?!?!?!?!?!" she screamed.
>
>Serena and Ami took a break from enjoying each other to glance up at
>the floating Zoicite.

Mike: (Serena) Since when are you British?

> They glanced at each other, then leaped up and tackled the Negaverse 
>servant and pinned her to the ground. "Get off
>of me, you Sailor brats!

Tom: (Zoicite) Now I'll kill you! That's what you get for not asking me to
join the Sailor Scouts.
Mike: (Zoicite) Besides, I would fit right in to your band of bland suckjob lame-o's.

>" she cried out, gasping in surprise as the two
>Sailors ripped her unifor

Crow: TIMMYYYYY!
Mike: Crow, where the hell did that one come from?
Crow: I dunno.

>m open, exposing her breasts. "Wait a minute,
>I don't have breasts, I'm a guy! Damn American censors!" Ami and
>Serena each began suckling on one of the tits, and Zoicite moaned
>audibly. "Ah, screw it."
>
>And they did. Or, more specifically, Ami moved down and started
>fingering Zoicite through her panties while Serena moved up to her head.
>She had been pleasuring others for too long, and now it was time to get
>some back in return. she positioned her oversexed pussy over Zoicite's
>mouth and was immediately gratified by a tongue from below. It flicked
>lightly over her outer lips and dug into her hole, passing over her clit
>with a hard swipe.

Tom: (Serena) OK, your card is cleared.

>As soon as the tongue hit her clit she exploded with
>pleasure, and had to bite her lip to hold back a blood-curdling scream.
>
>Meanwhile, Ami had removed Zoicite's panties by the very effective
>method of ripping them off. She put her fingers to her mouth and licked
>off Zoicite's juices, then moved those same fingers to her own cunt and
>began fingering herself. She wrapped her lips around Zoicite's pussy
>and sucked deeply, nursing her cunt like a hungry calf. 

Crow: That part might have been erotic, but now, I have the image of a cow eating
           out Zoicite stuck in my head. Thanks, Shadow.

>Zoicite moaned in pleasure into Serena's crotch, which just made the Sailor Soldier
>moan even more.
>
>***
>
>Somewhere down the street between Serena's street and whatever street
>is in downtown Tokyo street fucking street......damn it, I lost my train
>of thought.

Tom: You were somewhere between writing a horrid lemon, and writing about streets 
fucking.

>Anyway, Rei was headed to Serena's house to take back the mangas the
>meatball head had 'borrowed' from her. Imagine her surprise when she
>saw Serena and Ami along with Zoicite engaged in a three-way. Nah, she
>was a little less surprised than that.
>
>"Serena!" she shouted angrily, "Get the hell off her!!" 

Mike: (Serena) No! Who are you to tell me what to do?
Crow: (Rei) Hey, what is this, the Spanish Inquisition?
Ximinenz: (leaping up from the chair next to Tom) Nobody ever expects the Spanish 
Inquisiton!  Our chief weapo-.
All: (yelling) SHUT THE HELL UP.	   
Ximinenz: .....Fine. (He leaps down below the chair next to Tom)
                
>She ran into the alley and yanked Serena off of Zoicite, who was cumming a river by
>now. "Damn it, there's a test tomorrow, and we gotta find a cure.....
>fucking hell..."
>
>Zoicite noticed another Sailor Scout above her and freaked. She floated
>into the air and vanished in a shower of rose petals (now what the fuck
>is that all about?)

Mike: Makes just about as much fucking sense as this lemon, Crow's sudden lack in sanity, 
and Tom's donut fetish put together.

>Rei grabbed Ami's arm and pulled both her and Serena into the house to
>get them dressed, then called up the other Scouts. Once again they'd
>have to save the world...this was really cutting into her social life.
>
>***
>
>Back in the Negaverse, Zoicite reappeared in that same damn rose petal
>thing. There wasn't any actual rooms in the Negaverse, it being a
>gigantic empty space and all, but it didn't stop a few of the generals
>from slapping some drywall together and putting them up. Anyway,
>Zoicite appeared in Jadeite's 'room', minus her uniform. He was sitting
>on his bed, reading a Hot Tails manga with a noticeable bulge in his
>pants.
>
>"Uh, Zoicite?" Jadeite said, ogling her naked form. "You, uh, missing
>something?"
>
>"Yes, quite," she answered.

Crow: I'm missing the socks that are making the bulge in your pants. Give 'em back!

>"I thought you were a guy?" he asked quizzingly.

Tom: (Zoicite) Funny, so did I.

>"Yeah, the American censors got to me."
>
>"Well, uh....it's not all bad." The tits were especially nice.
>
>"Damn straight!"
>
>Zoicite floated down and quickly stripped off Jadeite's uniform,
>revealing a surprisingly masculine chest and already erect member. She
>straddled him and felt his cock penetrate her in one swift motion.
>'I wonder what Kunzite's doing later,' Zoicite thought to herself as
>she started humping Jadeite.

Mike: Jesus, you don't get anymore descriptive than that.

>***
>
>Back in the little ol' warehouse district, Dr. Lustidick was watching
>football and ranting at God again.

Crow: (Dr. Lustidick) SHIT SHIT SHIT! I bet on another rerun! But Ive seen this one!
          How the fuck did I lose the bet?
Tom: (Ms. Jugglesworth) 'Cause you're an idiot.

>"If you can't create a decent fucking football team, then why don't you
>just blow up the fucking Earth and start over again?!?!?!?!"

Mike: (Ms. Jugglesworth) Why not. It's what God did the first couple of times.

>And that was just for a five-yard gain.
>
>"Ms. Jugglesworth!" the doctor shouted. "I'm sick of football! Which
>videos do we have that I haven't seen?"
>
>His assistant rooted through a pile of old Blockbuster videos that 
>hadn't been returned yet and pulled out two 'new' tapes. "Let's see...
>we have the random stampeding of bulls through various television show
>sets, or the gang anal-rape of Tony the Tiger."

Tom: Bulls.
Mike: Bulls.
Crow: Anal-rape.
Tom: ........This is pretty fucked up over here.

>"Didn't you go to the video store last night?"
>
>"I did, but they threw me out because of all our late charges."
>
>"Damn! I must remember to mail those tapes back anonymously."

Mike: (Dr. Lustidick) Yeah....so...we...retain...our....late...charges....my god Im an idiot.

>It was just then that the door to the warehouse was kicked open by a
>teenage girl in a red sailor uniform.
>
>"Hold it right there, Dr. Lustidick!" Sailor Mars shouted. She burst
>into the room, followed by Serena, and Sailor Jupiter and Venus holding
>a writhing and still horny Ami. "Give us the cure, or we'll bust up
>the place!"

Crow: Ah, this lemon takes place in the short time period where the Sailor Scouts became
           mafia thugs.

>"Drat! How did you find me?!"
>
>"What're you talking about?! We've been coming down here every couple
>of weeks for a cure

Tom: (Dr. Lustidick) Well, fine. You might say the ingredient is... human sweat.
Mike: (Sailor Mars) You might say your an idiot.

> to your stupid lust virus!" She felt a nibbling on
>her neck, and glanced down to see Serena initiating some sort of
>foreplay with her.

Tom: So, Sailor Mars is being portrayed as a techno geek?
Crow: Jeez, I havent 'initiated' foreplay in about..... never. 

> "Serena, knock it off!" She pushed her friend's
>head away and held it at bay of her neck.
>
>"You'll never get the cure!" the doctor ranted. "Never! And your
>friends will be sex-crazed sluts forever!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!!"

Mike: COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH!!!!

>"Now look, you mad fuck, I'm gonna-" Now Serena was rubbing against her
>breast since she couldn't nibble on her neck. "Okay, okay, fine Serena,
>go ahead." She let Serena's head go and it immediately attached itself
>to her neck. "Jeez, just don't kiss me, okay? I don't want to be
>infected."

Tom: (Serena) Dammit, I knew I shouldnt've let that monkey fuck me.

>"Look, Dr. Lustidick," Venus interjected, "Just give us the cure, and
>we won't make you watch the Tony the Tiger tape again."

Crow: (Dr. Lustidick) Aaaaaaaand who says I don't want to?

>The doctor thought about it for a second, then decided he didn't want
>to be temporarily impotent for another two months. "Alright, fine,
>here's your fucking cure!" He tossed a vial full of red liquid, which
>Jupiter caught, accidentally letting go of Ami for a second. Ami
>immediately tried to kiss Venus, but Jupiter caught her again and kept
>her still.

Tom: But, you know, that really didn't matter, since they had the cure..... morons.

>Dr. Lustidick quickly took advantage of this opportunity to escape.
>"Ms. Jugglesworth! Open the trans-dimensional portal!"
>
>His assistant sighed in exasperation and pressed a button on what looked
>like one of those radio-controlled car remotes. 

Mike: Turns out it was for a radio controlled car.
Crow: (Dr. Lustidick) Hee hee, I love these things!!!

>A burst of light flashed and a glimmering white portal opened near the doctor.
>
>"Hah!" the doctor scoffed. "You shall never catch us! Come, Ms.
>Jugglesworth, we shall escape to another anime series!"
>
>The two jumped through the portal,

Tom: And were vaporized instantly!

>which let out a belching noise and closed behind them.
>
>"Hurray!" Venus cheered, "Now we can cure our friends!"
>
>"Uhhh...." Mars moaned, "You think we can cure Serena later?" 
>She whimpered as her friend licked her neck and moved up to her face.
>"Just.....a little later....."

Crow: Sure, said Venus, neglecting to tell Mars that the virus caused twelve different 
types of cancer.

>***
>
>Somewhere in a greenish clearing, a white shimmering portal opened,

Tom: And somewhere, a baby cried, but you don't see me writing a goddamn lemon about it.

>and two people flew out of it, landing on a pile of orange flowers.
>
>"Hah!" the doctor screeched. "Now we can continue the experiments
>une

Crow: (shivering) I see dead flacid skin....
Mike: Thats it, Im turning you off. (reaches over and turns off Crow)

>ncumbered!"
>
>"But doctor," Ms. Jugglesworth piped up, "What if there's no people here
>to experiment on?"
>
>Just then, a kid in a red and white cap came up to the two.
>
>"Hi there!" said the kid. "I'm Ash Ketchum! I'm a pokémon trainer!
>Who're you guys? Do you have any pokémon?"

Tom: (Dr. Lustidick) Yes, there is a poke'mon. And it is in my pants. If you unzip them, 
         you can catch it.

>The doctor looked at his assistant knowingly. "You were saying,
>Ms. Jugglesworth?"

Mike and Crow wait for something else to happen. Nothing does.

Tom: I think the story is over.

Mike: (picking up Crow and Tom) Yep. Lets get out of here.

They leave the theater. Ximinez follows behind them. They walk onto the main deck. 
Mike sets Crow on a table and looks at him. He pulls a small patch off of Crows beak.
He turns Crow back on.

Crow: Wha? What the hell happened?

Mike: Somebody put this mental disturbance patch on you. Who was it?

Tom points to a small plant in the corner. Ximinenz is trying to hide behind it. Its not 
working.  Suddenly, Pearl appears next to Ximinenz. She points a gun at him.

Pearl: That's where you got to, you little bastard. You were just supposed put that patch 
on Crow and come back.

Ximinenz: Nobody can control the Spanish Inquisition! Our mai-.

Pearl: Uh huh. Go back to your universe.

She shoots him, and he disappears. 

Pearl: How did you like Mike's lemon?

Mike: (blushing) I DON'T READ LEMONS! GET HER!

Tom, Crow, and Mike rush at Pearl. Cambot pans away, as you hear Pearl teleport again, 
and the two robots and Mike collide into the side of the Sattelite of Love.