Chapter 1 "Introduction; Feelings of Love and Sadness" ~ Entry one: "Otouto" Amiboshi *Amiboshi picks up the pen* Hi...I'm the elder of the twins, Amiboshi. I don't really see it as 'being the oldest'...we ARE the same age. But at times, Suboshi does seem a bit younger. Violent, angry...even if he was like this before the war completely ruined our lives, it worries me. Ever since our parents died we've only had each other to hold on to. And we've always been very close...but lately, Suboshi has been so distant. He constantly fawns over our miko, and...whenever we talk, he just stares into space. I miss him. I know he hasn't just abandoned me, though. He still loves me. He's just going through something. He'll talk when he's ready. Entry 2: "Aniki" Suboshi *Suboshi waits till he's sure no one's around, then picks up the pen* I'm Suboshi. Apparently my brother Amiboshi's already written in here... *sigh* I don't mean to be so distant. I do love him. Hell, he's the only family I've got left anymore! He means everything to me, I'd never forgive myself if something bad happened to him... Yet here we are. I've put him in danger just by joining Nakago and his band of killers. Yeah, destiny played a role in this, what with us being Seiryuu Seishi and all. But this band of psychos...Tomo, the paint-crazy illusionist who can't seem to taunt people enough. Soi, a lightening-throwing bitch who is obsessed with the bastard in charge. A wolf-man and a monk not much are known about. And of course NAKAGO. I really, REALLY hate that bastard... *seethes* He thinks he's so GREAT, he can destroy and mock anyone he wants! I can't stand seeing him within 20 feet of Yui-sama... ...Enough ranting about everyone else, though. More about me. I'm a 15-year-old yo-yo-flinging psycho who is in love with a woman who doesn't see him as more than a friend, and is now angry at himself for not realizing he hurt the one person he cares about more than anything. Aniki, gomen nasai. I...didn't mean to ignore you or hurt you in any way. Entry 3: "Yui-sama..." Suboshi Suboshi picks up the pen again, looking sad* I can't stop thinking about her. I was in love with her from the moment I saw her. The first time we met, she just stared at me and said "That BOY is a Seiryuu Seishi?"...but later...I was crying because Amiboshi was assumed...d-dead *shudders*, and she hugged me...I could've thrown myself into her arms right then... But all she ever saw me as was a brother, one of her Seishi...she doesn't know the depths of my love for her. Before I met her, Amiboshi was all I had. I still love my aniki...but Yui-sama... If I could just have her love, my life would be nearly perfect...my beloved brother, the girl of my dreams...if Nakago was dead everything would be perfect. *laughs bitterly* I tried to tell her how I felt a few nights ago, but she was angry and depressed and told me to just leave her alone... *sighs* She's in love with someone. I just know she is. She loves someone she knows she can't have and it's just tearing me up inside to see her this way...she won't even complain to me for hours about it. I would at least accept that, at least then I'd know I meant something to her. Wow, I'd even accept being used just to complain to. I'm so pathetic. *laughs bitterly* Yep, that's me. Suboshi, the pathetic yo-yo flinging psycho moron. *balls his hands into fists, a tear squeezing its way down his cheek* Entry 4: "I know what you're feeling" Amiboshi *Amiboshi picks up the pen and sighs softly* Otouto...I know what it feels like to love someone who doesn't return your love... I didn't admit this to anyone, out of fear of exile and even the death penalty...but... I am in love...with...Miaka. Suzaku no Miko. I know, this is so wrong and I've no right to be in love with her even if she wasn't the enemy...I faked being one of her Seishi and ruined the summoning ceremony. Even if she isn't angry at me anymore...it's still wrong. She has a lover. And he already tried to beat me senseless so if he knew I was in love with her... *sighs* Unrequited love hurts more when the object of your affections is kind despite not returning your feelings. Otouto...I'll be up waiting for you whenever you want to talk... Entry 5: "...I don't believe this!" Suboshi I just read Amiboshi's last entry. I've known for some time he had some sort of feelings for Miaka. But I still can't believe he's as in love with her as he is. The enemy. Suzaku no Miko. Traitor? No, after all, I AM the one who can't stand our 'leader'. I'd kill that bastard if I had the chance. But what if he's so entranced with Miaka that he just...forgets about me? ...No, he wouldn't. Ever since he came back after being presumed dead and all...it's like nothing's the same with us. We've fallen in love with girls we can't have, and...everything's a mess! *buries his face in his hands* Entry 6: "Sigh..." Amiboshi Suboshi just...told me he thinks I've changed since...that day. Because I fell in love with Miaka. I could say the same about you, otouto. After I was presumed dead, you met and fell in love with Yui-sama. I guess...we're both different now. Before the whole thing with me pretending to be Chiriko and then running away and Yui-sama becoming our miko...we used to be closer than anything. We only had one another to hang on to. Now these women have entered our life, and... No, it's my fault. While I was among the Suzaku Seishi, I began to think more of them and a bit less of our side...I respected Hotohori much more than Kutou's emperor. I'm the one who was thinking of switching sides... the only reason I didn't was because I didn't want to abandon you, otouto. *sighs* I'm such a moron. What kind of person would even consider abandoning someone they love and care about just for some woman, just because he likes the enemy better? I am a traitor, Suboshi. *rubs at his eyes, tears threatening to spill over* I'm so sorry...