Chapter 3 "Shame" ~ Entry 11: "Crying..." Amiboshi I've managed to keep Suboshi from seeing my last entry...so far, so good. I'm so afraid of what he'll say if he knows...my feelings for him are more than brotherly. And I don't even know if they're genuine. Maybe I'm just confused... Besides, I can't be in tears over my own confusion. Suboshi is hurting so much over Yui-sama...I just want to hold him and tell him that I'll be there for him. But what if I get close to him and our link acts up, and he discovers my thoughts? *slaps self* No. I can't let THIS come between Suboshi and I...I just can't... I spent hours looking over his latest entry the other night...my eyes kept falling back to that last line. 'I love you, aniki'... We used to be able to say that to one another without a second thought. Now...*sighs* It's just not the same anymore, it's confusing, I...I don't know. *buries his head in his arms, sobbing muffledly* Entry 12: "...I'm sorry..." Suboshi I just skimmed over Amiboshi's latest entries...all I saw was that I was causing him such pain and sorrow... Even more than Miaka... I'm the reason he's crying himself to sleep... Guess I should beat myself to death now, huh? *laughs bitterly* What do you do when the one you love is crying...because of you? Yes. I'm referring to someone NOT Yui-sama as...the one I love... It just hit me...I'm...seeing Amiboshi in...a different light. As more than my brother... ...*shudders* No! I'm not...that's just wrong, it's unnatural...I can't. He'd never speak to me again. F-Forgive me, aniki...*collapses in tears* Entry 13: "He must know" Amiboshi Suboshi has been acting very strange...yesterday, he tried to say something to me several times, but he ran off at the last minute saying it was as unimportant as him. And this morning he just kept...staring at me. He knows. Every time I got close enough he must've felt the...vibes coming from me...now I'm just waiting for him to slap me and tell me he hates me. I've been sneaking out late at night to see Miaka-sama. She's so wonderful to be with...her eyes are so understanding, so innocent, so kind. It's as if...she can see past fate, that I'm a Seiryuu Seishi, and see the broken, unwanted human within... I know she loves Tamahome. But I would still give my life to protect her. I talked to her about the whole thing with otouto last night, and that I wished I could just forget everything-my 'death', the war, losing my parents, Yui-sama...she said that giving up your memory may free you from the pain, but is it worth losing the good memories you have? As much as she's been through, she'd never want to forget the ones close to her... I guess she's right. I'd never want to forget her...or Suboshi... I only need them in my life. The kind, understanding girl, and the brother who means the world to me and more.